I, Spy

Title: I, Spy
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Prompt: McShep Match 2010 Entry- Team Play- blind alley
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit sex and foul language
Beta(s): Chris King, Ladyholder and Djaddict.

Summary: Wanting John was second nature to me but until recently I’d thought I’d buried the sex thing under a pile of friendship and shared traumatic experiences. I really shouldn’t find the man sexy any more. We’ve shared a latrine off-world. I’d seen him bleed. I watched him turn into a big blue bug. John Sheppard shouldn’t be sexy to me anymore. Really.

– – – –

I’m a curious man. There have been times when this curiosity has been detrimental to both my career and my personal life. My last relationship ended because I couldn’t give up the city of the Ancients to live in a boring house with regular doors and a dishwasher so Jennifer Keller could have the All-American dream on Earth. Trust me when I say that pointing out to her that I was Canadian during the middle of her speech about home, hearth, and fat, apple-cheeked babies had not been well received.

With just two weeks left on Earth before the city would be returned to Pegasus—most of the inhabitants of the city were making the most of the time they had left—shopping and filling the city with items that the Daedalus wouldn’t be willing to bring out to them or couldn’t bring out because of the size. John had done his fair share of shopping but for the past several nights he’d been taking the boat into San Francisco only to just disappear. I hadn’t wanted to make an official big fucking deal of it, so I hadn’t tried to track him with the city sensors or the Apollo which had been in orbit for over a week helping beam supplies to the city.

It had taken every ounce of training I had, which in retrospect wasn’t a lot, to get on board the same boat that John was on for the fourth time in a row. The Colonel had just smirked at me as he’d dropped down on the bench in a pair of dark but fashionably faded jeans and a Coldplay t-shirt. I wasn’t even convinced that Sheppard knew who Coldplay was.

It spoke poorly of my moral caliber that I’d planned to follow him again and that I’d brought along a LSD calibrated to his life sign to do it with, but I didn’t care at all. I was curious and not so much about where John was disappearing to. He was always on the boat to come back to the city before the sun came up. It wasn’t about that—it was about how relaxed and sated he was when he returned to the boat that bothered the complete fuck out of me. It wasn’t just sex—John could bang half of the city if it was his choice. It wasn’t drugs—because he didn’t look stoned when he returned and John wouldn’t risk his place on Atlantis for something so stupid.

I’d tried to follow him the night before but I’d lost him in a crowded street next to a bunch of clubs and had been forced to drown my sorrows in a fake-Irish pub. It hadn’t been a bad thing since I’d run into Carson and we’d done our best to drink ourselves completely stupid. I vaguely remembered staggering back to the boat singing Danny Boy with Beckett. Thank God Daniel Jackson hadn’t been around to see it—the snickering Marines had been quite enough of a trauma to remember ten hours later when I was sober enough to be horrified.

John stood casually as the boat was tied off on the dock and stretched his arms over his head. “Got plans for the evening, McKay?”

“Yep, you?”

“I thought I might play around a little,” John said with a sexy little smirk that I wanted to kiss off his face.

That’s the thing, right there. Wanting John was second nature to me but until recently I’d thought I’d buried the sex thing under a pile of friendship and shared traumatic experiences. I really shouldn’t find the man sexy any more. We’ve shared a latrine off-world. I’d seen him bleed. I watched him turn into a big blue bug. John Sheppard shouldn’t be sexy to me anymore. Really.

I blame Jennifer Keller. If Keller hadn’t nearly put me in a vanilla-sex coma, I wouldn’t have reacquired my obsession with Sheppard. She was young and smart and beautiful—and fucking her was kind of ordinary. At the time, when I was having all of the ordinary, sweet sex with Jennifer, I’d blamed John for my dissatisfaction. After all, if he hadn’t been a shameless, wanton, very bendy, well-hung porn star in my dreams I wouldn’t have considered Keller so nut-numbing boring.

I’ve always thought the term ‘head turner’ was stupid. But John did make people stop and turn to watch him as he passed them on the street and it was annoying as hell. Sheppard moved gracefully with the easy strength and confidence of a career military man. He looked good—intensely fuckable. John was pretty much always fuckable—even after a few hours of PT with the Marines. Well, maybe he was even more fuckable after a few hours of PT. Sweat and exhaustion looked good on the man.

Thanks to the LSD, I didn’t have to follow him as closely as I had the first two times I’d tried and ultimately failed in finding out just what the hell Sheppard was up to. I did have some mild concern that he would be furious if he knew I was following him around but it wasn’t enough of a concern to make me stop. In short order, we were back on the corner where I’d lost him the night before. I ducked into the alcove of a closed storefront as he turned and surveyed the street. I knew that look—it was pure threat assessment and I shivered a little in anticipation. John was definitely up to no good and I was about to find out what he’d been doing for the past week.

John turned casually and walked down a long, narrow alley. The same alley that I’d lost him down the night before—a dead end with three old doors. I scooted around the corner to peek but he was already gone again. I moved down the alley and then pulled out the LSD to figure out which building he was in. It was elementary and then I was stuck trying to figure out how to get in. There was no handle on the door. I put away the LSD and knocked.

The door opened immediately—and the biggest bastard I’d ever seen looked me over with an expectant eyebrow raised. “Top or bottom?”

It should go without saying that when a man three times your size asks you such a question that there is only one answer. “Top.”

The man reached into the building and pulled out a clipboard. “First time here?”


“Tonight is for couples only—so if you don’t have an established partner—you can’t come in.” He lifted that big dark eyebrow again. “Unless your partner is already inside?”

“John,” I blurted out before I could think otherwise.

He consulted his clipboard. “Your name?”

I considered that—because John was obviously going to meet someone here tonight and… fuck it. If I got it wrong the big guy would hopefully just send me away without kicking my ass. “Rodney.”

“Second floor, room six.”

I relaxed as the man stepped aside and considered what the hell kind of game John was playing with me. He’d obviously expected me to follow him, to spy on him. Had the bastard planned this all along? John had been completely weird since my relationship with Keller had ended. First, he’d labored under the mistaken impression that I was devastated and needed cheering up. It had taken me four days to convince him that I just wasn’t that messed up over it. Then he’d started hanging out in my lab when he wasn’t on duty and staring at me as if I were some kind of experiment for him. That had lasted a week—then he’d started disappearing at night.

Before I knew it, I was standing at the door. I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from doing something stupid before I was ready. There were two possibilities immediately available to me on the other side of the door—one of them would be a dream come true and the other would be a smug John Sheppard amused to have gotten the better of me in whatever game he was playing.

I exhaled sharply and then started to wonder just who the fuck John had met the last three nights. Had he been coming here all along? Had he let a stranger fuck him? It was instantly infuriating. I knew John was bisexual—I’d shared a tent with the man for five years on off-world missions. Our third mission out I’d caught him checking out my ass. He’d just grinned and shrugged when I’d pointed it out.

Yet the man had never made a single move in my direction, so I figured I’d been regulated to the “friend category” which is just as stupid and fucked up with men as it is with women. Maybe even worse because women normally have the decency to keep their sexual conquests to themselves while men often feel compelled to share—like some sadomasochistic male bonding ritual.

Over thinking social situations had never served me so I pushed all of my neurotic bullshit to the bottom of my mind, took a deep breath, and grabbed the door knob. It twisted easily under my hand—unlocked—which was unnerving. I checked the number to make sure I had the right room and then opened the door wide enough so that I could slip inside. The room was lit by two low lamps in opposite corners of the room—providing enough light to see by and everything was bathed in a warm, soft glow. In a different situation, I might have made a snide comment about the romantic lighting but John…

John was lounging on the bed wearing nothing but a leather cock ring. “Jesus.”

“Not quite,” John murmured. He stroked himself casually and used his thumb to rub the plump head of his cock as he lifted one eyebrow. “Lock the door, McKay.”

I locked it with a flip of a dead bolt and inhaled. “John.”

“You followed me—you’ve been following me for days, Rodney. I think that means you want to play with me.” John stretched out on the bed as he released his cock. He shifted one leg outward, giving me a view of his balls and the plug in his ass. “But if you don’t want to—I won’t have a problem finding someone who will.”

Now, that was irritating. “Have you been letting strangers fuck you?”

John grinned. “Jealous?”

“Furious. Worried,” I corrected and crossed my arms. “Answer the question.”

“No. I haven’t let a stranger fuck me.” He spread his legs wider and tilted his hips just enough to make my mouth go completely dry. “I did let this twenty-five year old Navy pilot suck me off yesterday. The day before that I exchanged hand jobs with an insanely hot NCIS agent. I love San Francisco.”

“You bastard.”

He grinned at me and sighed. “The first night I just watched—O’Neill recommended the place. He said it would be a good way to relieve stress.”

I considered ruining O’Neill’s life for suggesting John go to a sex club but the end result had a lot of potential so I decided to forgive him. Pulling my t-shirt over my head, I tossed it aside and assessed my options. Was this really the experience I wanted with John? John wet his bottom lip and spread his legs in invitation and I stopped worrying about ridiculous things such as first times and romance and all of that bullshit. Because, Christ, really? What the fuck was wrong with me that Sheppard was naked and plugged and ready to be fucked and I was still dressed?

I pushed off my shoes, tugged off socks gracelessly, and then unbuckled my belt. John eyed the leather with interest and I took a deep breath. “Okay, seriously, if you have some bondage kinks we’ll have to save that for another day—I think that if I get any more worked up, I might have a heart attack.”

“That would be a disappointing end to the evening,” John conceded. “I didn’t spend the last two weeks freaking you out to get nothing out of it.”

I glared at him as I as shucked my jeans and boxers in one move that was neither slick nor particularly practiced. “You’re a twisted bit of business, Colonel.”

John sucked his bottom lip into his mouth at the use of his rank and I decided right then that I would have years to figure out all of his kinks because this wasn’t going to be something he could give me once and then never again. I watched him scoot up the bed as I put one knee on the mattress and then spread out his arms against the head board. John’s fingers curled around the curved iron bars and he planted his feet flat on the bed.

I crawled up on the bed so I could kneel between his legs and took a deep breath. Once I touched him—once I started down the road that would lead me to John, I knew I’d never be able to leave it. Just knowing him like this would change me; alter me in ways that already felt foreign and dangerous.

This path, much like the narrow little alley that led me here, would completely cut me off from any reality I’d ever known and leave me with a future I wasn’t sure of. There would be nowhere left to go after having John. Wanting John… wanting to touch John had been a part of my life as long as I’d known him. Now, the opportunity to do so was literally spread out before me like a dying man’s last meal and I was starving.

“Touch me, Rodney.”

So, I did. His skin was warm, firm under my hands—the body he shaped with training and war was strong but pliant and it was amazing. John’s breath hitched as I hooked my hands under his knees and spread him wide. “What can I have?”

“Anything,” he murmured his eyes dark and more intent than I’d ever seen.

“What do you want?”


I sucked in a deep breath to keep from voicing my surprise and brushed my fingers over the length of his cock. His hips flexed under the attention and the tip of his dick dampened with pre-cum. I lowered my head and flicked my tongue over the head of his cock and then sucked him in. He felt tender, vulnerable in my mouth and I couldn’t prevent myself from groaning around his flesh.

“Ah, fuck, Rodney.” John shifted under me, arching his back as I sucked him in completely. “Christ, your mouth. I’ve always wanted your mouth on me.”

I didn’t stop in my task to tell him—but I would have dropped down to my knees and sucked him off that first day in the control chair in Antarctica without blinking an eye. I lifted off his cock reluctantly—a blow job with a cock ring on would eventually enter torturous territory and I wasn’t in the mood to hurt him. He moaned softly as I sat back and rubbed one foot over my thigh in a way that looked needy.

This—I’d always known John would be demanding and greedy about sex. He kept himself so physically separate from everyone around him in public that I couldn’t imagine how he wouldn’t be a needy, hot mess in bed. I crawled upward and settled on top of him.

“Hey,” John murmured with a small, pleased smile.

Laughing, I leaned in and kissed him. He took in the kiss like I knew he would—curling into me, his mouth opening for the stroke of my tongue without a single hesitation. His hands ran down the length of my back to my ass—where they stayed. I’d never had a lover that wasn’t a little preoccupied with my ass—male or female. I rubbed my cock against his and swallowed his little moans as our kisses deepened and got rougher. It was too much. I broke away with a sharp exhale of air and lifted away from him.

“You’re beautiful.”

John blushed and averted his gaze. “I’m… more than that, you know.”

“I do know,” I assured him as I stroked my hands down his thighs and spread him wide again. The view was outstanding. “You’re brave, suicidal, occasionally homicidal, smart, and a complete dork. I don’t know how I put up with you most of the time.” He laughed and I relaxed. “But you’re also… beautiful.” I traced a scar on his thigh with light fingers. “I’ve always thought so.”

“I guess I’ll have to accept that,” John murmured his voice breaking as I cupped his balls. “You’re the smartest man in the galaxy, after all.”

“Right.” I tugged on his testicles gently and watched his eyes blur with a mixture of pleasure and discomfort. “Good?”

“Very,” John answered with a slight intake of breath.

I let my fingers trail down over his perineum and grazed the round knob of the anal plug. He shifted on the bed and shuddered. “If you give me this, John, nothing will ever be the same between us and I don’t even know where we can go from here.”

“I know.” John bit down on his lip and then moaned softly as I pulled the plug free. “I want it.” He pulled a condom and a tube of lube from underneath the pillow. “I want you inside me.”

He was killing brain cells—every word out of his mouth was ripping away years of education and I should’ve been furious with him but it was beyond me. John sat up and tore open the condom with ease. He leaned in and slid his tongue over one of my nipples as he rolled the condom into place on my dick. I hated how easy it was for him—hated it because it spoke of practice and I was entirely sure that no who had ever touched John had wanted him as much as I always have and none of them had deserved him. He sucked gently on my nipple as he opened the lube and slicked up the condom.

John released my rigid flesh with an audible pop and lifted an eyebrow. “How do you want me?”

I took a deep breath and touched his face with careful fingers. It was easy to cup his jaw and pull him into a kiss. John was practically submissive against me—melting into my mouth and in my arms as I prodded him onto his back. He sighed against my mouth as I hooked one of his legs over my arm and groaned as I pushed the head of my cock against him. The plug had left his hole slick and open—sliding in was easy. I lifted my head and watched his pupils dilate as I bottomed out in his ass.

“Ah, fuck, Rodney.” John’s hands clenched on my shoulders briefly before he released me in favor of wrapping his fingers around the iron bars again. He strained up off the bed and lifted his other leg to tuck it against my shoulder.

I forced myself to go slowly—to work my cock inside him until I found his prostate and could hit it every single time I pushed into him. My reward was a series of soft, nearly breathless moans that fell from John’s mouth despite his obvious efforts to maintain his cool. Within minutes he was lifting off the bed entirely, rocking into my lap and onto my dick feverishly.

I reached down between us and unsnapped the cock ring because coming was on my agenda and I wasn’t in the mood to do it by myself. John hissed and choked back a sob of what I hoped was pleasure as I wrapped my hand around his cock and started to jack him. His eyes fluttered shut as he came and he arched his back with a shudder. The muscles of his ass clenched down on me and I came with one hard rush that left my vision blurry.

I pulled free of him, my body shaking with orgasm and shock. “Jesus.”

“Yeah,” John murmured in agreement as I collapsed on the bed beside him. “That was awesome.”

I laughed weakly because hell—it had been awesome. “This isn’t exactly what I expected to happen.”

“Kind of figured,” John admitted. “You’re even more oblivious than me and that’s saying a lot.”

“Fuck you.”

“You did.” John rolled to his side and quirked one of those stupidly sexy eyebrows at me. “Very well, I might add. Eventually I’m going to forgive you for all the dick you’ve been denying me since we met, McKay.”

I cupped the back of his head and pulled him down. The kiss was firm and kind of life affirming which was ten kinds of emotional bullshit that I never wanted to talk about as long as I lived. “That’s good to know.”

John kissed me again briefly and then stared at me for a few seconds. “I’m never letting you go, McKay.”

“Very Fatal Attraction of you,” I observed and then ruined it by smiling because nothing no one had ever said to me meant as much. “But I can accept that.”

“Good.” John pulled a sheet from the bottom of the bed and covered us.

I really didn’t know if it could be that easy—but Pegasus had already taught me that if there was one thing in the universe that I would always, without exception, fight for, it was John.

The End

Keira Marcos

In my spare time, I write fanfiction and lead a cult of cock worshippers on the Internet. It's not the usual kind of hobby for a 40ish "domestic engineer" but we live in a modern world and I like fucking with people's expectations.

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