About halfway through July, I took a moment to reset. Frankly, it was a hard reset and it had nothing to do with the story I was writing. I’m actually quite enamored with House of Wolves and will certainly finish it when the inspiration returns.
This year has been a total dumpster fire in a lot of respects and I’ve had to adjust my thinking, my workspace, my schedule, my creative output, and even how and when I walk my fucking dogs. My husband bought me a hiking stick to walk with that has a taser on the end that would knock a bear back because everything around us feels just less safe. (It’s powerful but the bear part is a joke).
I misplaced my favored face mask the other day and nearly had a full-blown panic attack in my car over it. I had a backup, of course, but still it just totally threw me. I do struggle with clinical depression and have for most of my life but I’ve never had a problem with anxiety before (outside of an unexpected side effect of a new medication once). It was a deeply disconcerting experience.
But I wanted to put up a post since there have been some questions about my lack of activity on RT. I’ve often said that the Rough Trade environment is very challenging and not for everyone. Putting your work up wet for the world to see is daunting as fuck and I’m not immune to that in the least. It got difficult for me in July and I’m not entirely sure why.
As to my reset, I started writing my Quantum Bang project for next year. I’ve already finished one draft and I’m super pleased with it. I think you guys are really going to love it. I hope you love it at least half as much as I do. I can hardly wait to share it!
I haven’t posted The Absence of War on this site because I noticed some things I’d like to correct first so that’ll be coming certainly before the end of the year but it’s available on the Quantum Bang–so easy to find and read over there.
I’m rarely on Facebook anymore but I’m pretty much always on my Discord server, CrossRoads. Please feel free to join us there–we have social chat channels, rec channels, and fandom specific areas. Discord may look a bit intimidating at the start but really — it’s just a big ass chat server.
I have a few podcasts to edit and post — I’m just really jazzed about my QB project so I’m working on that. In other podcast news, I was invited to syndicate the show on Amazon. So weird.
So, I am writing–over 100k since July 1st, actually. I just need a little privacy right now when it comes to my work and RT isn’t conducive to that at all.
This is about self-care, really, and I encourage you all to take a moment to access your situation and make decisions to ease you.
And remember, it’s perfectly okay to put yourself first and to say no.
Now, watch Adam Lambert sing Believe for Cher — honestly, someone broke his heart before he came out there to sing this song so we should find them and kick their ass.