We’ve Taken Different Roads

Reading Time: 45 Minutes

We’ve Taken Different Roads
Keira Marcos
Series Order:
Banner Art: FanArts Series
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Word Count: 12k

Rating: NC-17 (explicit sex)

Summary: What if Rodney didn’t go to Atlantis and the city was lost again? Sheppard turns up as the second command of the SGC under Major General Jack O’Neill and after a year of watching the moody government contractor Dr. Rodney McKay… he decides to make some very personal changes in his life.

* * * *
It was the last thing John needed. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood up and walked briskly across the crowded bar towards the two soldiers who were causing the scene.

“Men.” His tone was clipped, and both soldiers—drunk as fuck—immediately stopped struggling with the bouncer and stood at attention. “Sergeant Bates. Explain yourself.”

“Sir.” Bates swallowed. “We had a disagreement with another customer and we were just leaving.”

The owner, Dr. Rodney McKay, of the place went off like a nuclear weapon. In another place and in another time, John might have enjoyed it right not it just added to an already shitty day. He’d had too many shitty days lately. Too many.

“Disagreement? Of all the unbelievable bullshit! These two homophobic fucktards tried to physically attack another customer!” The man then tried to put his lean but broad shouldered body between John and the two Marines. He poked Bates in the chest. “I told you to leave. I don’t need anyone to say it for me. Get the fuck out of my place and do not come back until I feel better about you.” He poked Bates with each word.

“McKay.” Sheppard warned in a low voice. “I’m so not in the mood for this.”

Bates’ drinking buddy of the night, one equally drunk Airman Ian Wilkes took a swing at McKay and found himself on the floor under the combat foot of a very irritated Colonel John Sheppard. John shoved his foot into the soldiers throat and six other men came running. “Wilkes, you’re going to wear out our welcome at McKay’s and that’s going to really piss off the General. He likes the wings here.”

“Yes. Sir.” Wilkes squirmed under John’s boot for a minute but then relaxed, his expression bullish. “A fag at the bar hit on me.”

“Then you should have been polite and just said no.” John jerked him up off the floor with one hand. “Unless you were afraid you were going to be overpowered? All two hundred and 30 pounds of you?” His gaze flicked to the group of men who had come to a halt at the edge of the greeting area of the place. “Ford, Dex… come get these two fucks and take them back to base. On the way there, explain to Wilkes how unbecoming being a bigot is.”

“Yes, Sir.”

His sharp hazel eyes surveyed the silent room. “The next man that interrupts my beer is going to spend a goddamned week in the brig and then I’m sending their ass to McMurdo. Am I clear?” A resounding chorus of yes sirs filled the room. “Now, someone start the jukebox and if I hear that fucking Buckcherry song again tonight—one of you will eat my boot.” He turned to look at Rodney McKay. He’d known the man a year, and still really don’t understand him. He knew enough about the man’s history of working with the military and government to be curious; but if he were going to be honest his interest wasn’t really with his past and as a result had never bothered to read the file the SGC kept on him. “I’d like to apologize for my men…”

Rodney waved him off. “Your apology isn’t required Colonel. Come, we’ll get you a fresh beer.”

John found himself sliding up onto a bar stool at the end of the large glossy bar. “You know the repeal of DADT was a good thing but it would be nice if civilians didn’t automatically assume that every man in uniform has been repressed homosexual for years and now we’re all free to fuck them.”

Rodney laughed as he slid the beer into place in front of him. “Molson. Your favorite.”

“Thanks.” John took the bottle between both hands and relaxed a little when some very smart soldier started some Johnny Cash.

“Your soldiers know you well.”

“Yeah,” he glanced towards the jukebox and received a jaunty salute from Major Laura Cadman. “You too, apparently. I noticed you got the whole Cash collection recently.”

“You like it.” McKay shrugged. “Why? I have no clue. He depresses the hell out of me.”

John’s shrewd eyes surveyed McKay’s relaxed face, interested that the man had altered the content of his jukebox to suit him. “Why did you leave the SGC?”

Rodney frowned. “Well, technically I didn’t. I still consult. You’ve seen me there often enough.”

“Yeah, but you left a prominent position and well paid position Dr. McKay. They drool over you every chance they get and you’d rather run this place and publish papers in obscure magazines?”

Rodney flushed. “First, not obscure at all, Colonel. Just because they don’t have pictures … they are scholarly respected journals. Second, if you must know it was killing me. Literally. You and men like you defend us from the unthinkable and don’t think I don’t appreciate that because I do. It’s the reason that I’ll let Bates and Wilkes come back in a few weeks. They’ll have to send me lots of gourmet chocolate but I’ll let them back in the door.”

“Killing you,” John repeated.

“About six months before you came back, I was in a lab on the base and had a heart attack. It changed a lot about me and my priorities. I consult with the SGC because I can’t help myself but I do limit myself to twenty hours a week. This place keeps my mind occupied, gives me exercise and for the most part doesn’t even stress me out.” He paused. “If I never said anything, I was very upset to hear about the loss of the Atlantis project. It must have been like a punch in the face.”

John’s smile was tight and fell short of reaching his eyes. “We only had a year and a half on her before things went to utter and complete hell. Still, I got a really good friend out of the deal and we gained some pretty cool toys… some of which you’ve seen. I heard you were playing with a Jumper last week with Dr. Z.”

“Yeah, I tried to get Lorne to fly me around in it. He wouldn’t.”

“Next time you’re on base… find me. I’ll take you for a ride.”

Rodney flushed and swallowed hard. Every single time he saw John Sheppard he regretted, seriously, turning down the Atlantis project. He figured if they had shared that experience the way they could have… well he might be able to get closer to him. “I’ll do that.”

John flashed a genuine smile. “I’ll take you to Mars.”

“You realize offering to take an astrophysicist into space and another planet is literally like offering to suck his dick?” Rodney demanded, his gaze jerking around realizing that everyone had given the Colonel a wide berth and had totally abandoned the end of the bar John was on.

John tipped back the bottle of beer and drained the contents. “Yes, yes I do.”

“I thought you weren’t all repressed homosexuals and looking to fuck civilians?”

“I’m not remotely repressed.” He tilted the empty beer bottle and grinned when McKay took it and replaced it with another. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to take you to bed and show you exactly how good I am at everything I do.”

Rodney kept his jaw tight to keep it from falling open in shock. It was not what he expected, John Sheppard hadn’t always followed the rules but the man had valued his career a lot, put a great deal into the job and it had never occurred to him once that the man, a hero by anyone’s standards, was gay or even bisexual. “Must have been hard for you to keep that under wraps for what… twenty years?”

“Twenty-two.” John inclined his head as he considered it. “And, yes, difficult. I broke enough rules in my time that I didn’t need add anything to that pile. I figured that might have been the final straw. But, when you train a man like they trained me… they couldn’t very well find the evidence needed to convict of such inappropriate behavior.” He lifted his head when conversation sort of muted around the room and looked towards the door. “Looks like the general heard about what happened.”

“Didn’t take long.” Rodney sighed and offered Major General Jack O’Neill a small smile as he slid up onto a stool beside John. “Jack.”

“Rodney.” Jack looked over his face. “Sorry about Bates and Wilkes. I understand Wilkes tried to hit you.”

“He missed.” Rodney walked away and came back with a beer for the General. “I’m fine. Colonel Sheppard was on hand to defend my honor and protect my brain.”

John smirked but had his expression under control by the time Jack looked his way. “They were very drunk, Sir.”

“They suffered a loss today on their team,” Jack muttered. “Not a good excuse, mind you, but there it is.”

Rodney placed the beer in front of him and then slapped a piece of paper on the bar. “That’s what they have to get me.”

Jack picked up the list. “Ten pounds of Richart Paris, three pounds of dark chocolate covered marshmallows from Dietz’s, and no less than two pounds of chocolate truffles from Romanicos.” A smile darted across his normally stern mouth. “No coffee?”

Rodney snorted. “You know I grind my own. Though you could add a four pounds of Brazilian whole coffee beans.” He tilted his head. “Do you want some wings to go?”

“Please.” Jack tucked the paper in his front pocket and studied his beer as Rodney walked away to give a waitress instructions. “Be careful with him, John, he really hasn’t been in a relationship since Jonas Quinn left and I don’t know that he could take tangling up with a man like you if you aren’t serious.”

“A man like me?” John asked carefully.

Jack raised one eyebrow. “You aren’t exactly known to be a kind man.”

“Neither is McKay,” John pointed out in protest. “How did you know?”

“Besides the fact that you nearly broke Wilkes’s neck and he outweighs you by a good fifty pounds?” Jack shrugged. “Hasn’t really been a secret with the higher ups that you’re gay, though neither has the fact that you’ve not so much as looked at a man since you came back to Earth until recently. No reports of questionable conduct during the Atlantis mission, or frankly throughout your career. A bitter ex-wife, a father that doesn’t talk to you, and you’re in here every night watching the gayest man I know with three PhD’s serve beer to grunts.”

“Every man needs at least one bitter ex-wife; it’s a great life lesson. He has three PhD’s?”

“Yeah,” Jack shook his head ruefully. “Three fucking PhD’s and he runs a bar.”

Rodney tossed a box up on the bar in front of the General. “I consult, you can’t expect more.”

Jack opened the box and sighed. “I love you a little, McKay.”

“I’ll refrain from telling your wife.”

Jack grinned. “Sam is a smart woman and she values chicken wings just like I do.”

“Which is why I put in two orders.” Rodney motioned him away. “Now, go away, the Colonel was seducing me with the offer of a ride to Mars in a Jumper.”

Jack laughed. “Good call, Johnny boy.”

John offered the General a salute with his beer bottle and Jack left, chicken wings clutched to his chest a little too tightly. “Three PhD’s, McKay?”

“What, you haven’t read my file?” Rodney tilted his head, his bright blue eyes taking in the smooth lines of John’s face. He’d read the man’s file the moment he’d could—about two hours after he met him—even the black-ops parts that were so confidential he should kill himself for even thinking about them. “Astrophysics, Theoretical Mathematics, and Aeronautical Engineering. I understand you have a Masters in Theoretical Math yourself and would have gotten your PhD if the Air Force hadn’t all but kidnapped you shortly after you finished grad school.”

“They like their pilots smart but stupid with their lives.” John shook his head. “Certainly explains why you get away with so much around the base… and how is your heart now?”

“Very good, actually. I received treatment from the Asgard which is why it’s not public knowledge around the base. There should be some kind of note in my file, however. I don’t even have a scar, and my heart is like a twenty year olds. Why do you ask?”

“Because if I’m going to take you for a ride… I figure I should know these things.” He grinned when Rodney flushed. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow what?” Rodney asked with a frown.

“Tomorrow we can go to Mars and then maybe some dinner.”

Rodney pinned him with a small glare. “The President repealed Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell and put in anti-discrimination laws to squash all the gay-bashing crap over eight months ago.”

“Yeah. I remember the day that was final very well,” John admitted ruefully. “I had 15 officers in my office that afternoon coming out to me with grins on their faces.”

“Why now?”

John slipped down off the stool and reached for his wallet. “You’ll find, McKay, that I’m a planner. I don’t jump headlong and stupid into any situation – no matter how personal it is or profound the attraction.”

“Put your money away. You saved me a cracked jaw and probable brain damage. A few beers is the least I owe you.”

John frowned but put his wallet away. “You don’t owe me anything, Rodney. I don’t play that game with friends or lovers.”

“You currently owe me a trip to Mars,” Rodney pointed out.

John laughed and tapped the top of the bar with two fingers. “See you in the morning, McKay.”

Rodney stayed where he was, watching John Sheppard leave his bar with a twinge in the center of his chest—for a second the burn felt so familiar that he almost reached for a phone to call for help. He rubbed his sternum thoughtfully and shook his head. The man was lethal.

“You aren’t the only one he does that to.” Laura Cadman leaned over the bar and grabbed a cherry out of a tray. “I was totally wondering if he was ever going to make a move on you.”

Rodney glanced at the Major with a frown. “Reach over that bar again, soldier, and I’ll throw you out of here, too.”

Laura frowned. “I’ll be sparring with Wilkes tomorrow; I’ll be sure to hit him extra hard for him being such an asshole tonight if the Colonel doesn’t get to him first. Doesn’t matter how fucked up the day was – no call for that.”

Rodney frowned. “How many?”

She paused as if she was considering what to say.

“My clearance is higher than yours.”

She nodded. “Yeah. How long you gonna continue to do this bar thing before you come back to play with us full time?”

“I won’t. I’m giving them all I can.” His hand shook a little and he jerked with surprise when hers covered his.

“It’s okay. We all understand and we’re all very glad you survived that day.” She cleared her throat. “Two. We lost two.”

* * * *

John had a huge file on Dr. M. Rodney McKay and he’d never bothered to even look at it. Which was why he was back in his office at the SGC instead of in his base quarters in bed. He plowed through it – going through education stuff, mission reports where he figured in a large way, a single paragraph memo on his heart attack and the Asgard that treated it, and discovered that the man had never been through the Star Gate – per Jack O’Neill’s orders. He was considered “mission essential” and like Jack’s wife, Dr. Samantha Carter, had never been allowed off world through the gate.

Rodney had never been into space at all it seemed and that sort of pissed him off. The man worked for one of the most amazing places on Earth and he’d never been given the opportunity to be in the place he’d dedicated so much of his life to studying. He sent copies of all three of the man’s doctoral thesis to his personal computer for reading later and then sat back in his chair.

“Not that I don’t appreciate how dedicated you are, John, I was sort of hoping you might be getting a social life as of tonight.” Jack O’Neill leaned against the door frame of the door that separated him from his XO’s office. People had fought him on that choice – said that John Sheppard wasn’t the right man for the SGC no matter how stellar his work had been on the Atlantis project. Those people had been eating their words for the last year.

John frowned. “You’ve never let the man leave the planet.”


“He’s an astrophysicist. How many times have you let Sam on the Daedalus at least?”

“She built the thing, John.”

“McKay designed the thing,” John shot back.

Jack frowned. “Yeah. Well, shit. The man never said he wanted to go up and technically he has been in space he just doesn’t remember it.”


“When he had the heart attack… it was after a particular heated discussion between the two of us. He wanted to go to Atlantis – said he could fix the power problems, keep the city alive so to speak. I told him no that he’d had his chance to go in the beginning. He told me to go fuck myself in the most creative way every known to man and was in the middle of tendering a very vicious resignation when he had a massive coronary.” Jack got a little pale as he said it. “As it happened, Thor was in orbit helping retrofit the Daedalus to travel to Atlantis. He beamed him aboard, corrected a multitude of health problems in McKay and then dropped him back in the infirmary before anyone could realize where Rodney had actually gone. I found out later that Thor had a health monitoring device in Rodney – to keep an eye on him because the little grey guy found him ‘refreshingly honest’ and a ‘great hope’ for our species but Rodney had refused his help in the past. When the heart attack happened—Thor took unconsciousness for consent.”

“He told but he didn’t say why he’d had the heart attack just that it happened.”

“It had been coming for a long time; but I resent the hell out of the fact that out of all of the full blown conniptions he had that week—he had to go and basically die on me.” Jack moved into the room and sprawled in one of the chairs in front of John’s desk. “He read all of your mission reports, you know. Every single one and sent back advice to the science team you had with you. He and Radek both bitched A LOT not about being there, but by that time we were knee deep in the Ori and I couldn’t justify sacrificing either of them to the Atlantis mission.”

No, John thought and it would have certainly been a sacrifice. He’d lost half the expedition before it was all said and done. “I’m glad he wasn’t there.” Seeing the man the first time had been like a punch in his gut. “I doubt I would have kept my hands to myself and I hardly needed that kind of distraction.”

Jack snorted and then out right laughed. “Christ, Sheppard.”

“Despite reports to the contrary, I do try to think with the head on my shoulders.”

“Weir seemed to think you were able to get a lot alien women do stuff for the expedition that seemed out of the norm.”

“Diamonds and gay men,” John murmured. “Are a girl’s best friends. Most women, no matter their culture, just want a man to listen to them. The rest is cake.”

“Taking good notes?” They both turned to look at Samantha Carter as she lounged in the doorway where Jack had entered the room. Her blue eyes were bright with amusement.

“You know, John, the good thing about having your own astrophysicist…” He paused. “No, I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself.”

“Come on, I’m tired and hungry and you ate most of the wings.” She looked toward John. “I heard you had a little altercation at McKay’s.”

“Wilkes is really going to regret this whole day come tomorrow morning,” John muttered. “That kind of attitude has no place here… intolerance breeds intolerance.”

“Agreed. We can send him and Bates packing in the next rotation unless you want to do it sooner. In the mean time, we can restrict them to base duty and no privileges off base.” Jack stretched in his chair and glanced over his wife. John chose to ignore the pure predatory look the man got in his eye at the sight of her.

John nodded. “Still beating the shit out of him once he’s sober, Sir.”

“I look forward to watching.” Jack stood and took the hand his wife offered when he got close to the door.

* * * *

“You’re a god, McKay.” Samantha wrapped her hands around the Starbucks cup and took a deep breath. “Jack and I stayed on base last night—so I didn’t get to do my normal stop and grab. Thanks for the wings last night… what little I got of them.”

McKay waved a pack of chocolate covered gram crackers in front of her and laughed softly when she took them with all good speed. “Where are you on the equations I sent you for the ZPM?”

“Half way, man, McKay I nearly came reading through your summary.” She grinned as she tugged him past the gym. “I’m working on a proof to figure out energy output…”

Rodney stopped his mouth slightly agape. “Jesus.”

Sam backed up. “Oh. Yeah. It’s sparring day. It’s something the Atlantis personnel brought back with them. Sheppard and Ronon pretty much take turns kicking everyone’s ass.”

Rodney nodded. John ‘sex-on-a-stick’ Sheppard was in a small taped off area with what looked like two small ball bats in hand and one of the bigger soldiers he often saw in his bar with him. They were both stripped to the waist and moving so fast with those sticks that it made his perfectly fine heart trip a little. “The big guy with him is Ronon?”

“Yes, our third ‘alien’ on staff. His entire planet was wiped out by the Wraith. I’m sure you read that report.”

“Yes.” Rodney nodded. “John considers him a very close friend.” And in some dark corner of his mind that particular thought bothered him a lot.

“Want to observe from above?”

“Yes, please.”

Sam took him to a glass observation deck and he wasn’t surprised to find Jack and quite a few people up there. He took a seat in the front a little away from everyone but didn’t mind when Vala Mal Doran, second ‘alien’ on staff, dropped down in the seat beside him. She crossed her feet at the ankles and stared out at the fighting.

“Daniel said that this is similar to Rome and gladiators.”

“I can see that.” He leaned forward a little. He’d heard about the training but he’d never actually bothered to come watch and he was kicking himself mentally for it. Why the hell had he never been interested in watching a half-naked John Sheppard kick someone’s ass? Probably, he admitted to himself, because there had been no reason to tease himself.

“Colonel Sheppard is a very… pretty man.”

Rodney laughed and glanced towards Vala. She was a very beautiful woman herself, strong, determined – had suffered a lot in her life and yet had an amazing outlook on life and a sassy attitude that he enjoyed a lot. “Do you come watch the sparring often?”

“When I’m not participating I’m up here. All of the platoons rotate in and out of the schedule. But today is a special day.”


“Because word is that Sheppard is in a mood and when he’s a ‘mood’… the training sessions are always more intense.”

Rodney frowned but nodded and turned his attention to the man himself. John was wearing a pair black BDU’s that rode low on his lean hips, combat boots, and no shirt. A fine sheen of sweat covered all the skin he could see. His dog tags swung on a chain around his neck and drew attention to the sleek muscles of his chest and an incredibly ripped stomach. The man looked like a sex melting and Rodney figured his brain was leaking out of his head. Rodney sat up a little straighter when the soldier he knew as Wilkes took Ronon’s place in the ring.

He winced the tenth time the soldier hit the ground and silently told him to stay down. But the kid wasn’t prepared to cede the fight and rolled to his feet, stumbling only slightly.

“Relax, McKay.”

He glanced towards Jack O’Neill. “Shouldn’t you….”

“How the Colonel chooses to discipline his men is entirely up to him, Doctor.”

* * * *

John kicked Wilkes’ feet out from under him, something that had become exceedingly easy to do in the last few minutes and the kid hit the mat hard, his breath snapping out of his body in a harsh sound, and he stayed still. Thirty-five minutes. He’d lasted longer than John had expected, longer than most of the men in the room ever had and he was hung over. It spoke to his strength and his stamina – which pissed John off all the more. It was a fucking waste. The soldier took a ragged breath, dropped the fighting sticks he’d managed to hold onto during the match, and nodded slowly.

“Good.” John held out a hand and helped the kid up off the ground. “You fuck up again and you’re out of the mountain. And we both know how hard you worked to get here. Hit the showers and report for guard duty in one hour.”

“Yes, Sir.” He saluted with a shaking arm and ignored any offers of help when John dismissed him with a jerk of his head. “Bates.” He twirled the Sadetian fighting sticks in his hands as he watched the soldier edge around the sparing space. “Join me.”

“Colonel, I was drunk.”

“You sure were.” John’s eyes glittered dangerously. “Drunk in public, indulging in conduct that made me and the General look bad, lied to me in front of a civilian, and encouraged profoundly bad behavior in a twenty-two year old kid who has three times your potential. I believe I remember the events quite vividly.” The entire first platoon edged away from the sparring circle. “You can step in this ring and own up to it or you can pack your gear and get the fuck out of my mountain. I’ll have you on a flight to Antarctica within the hour.” He stretched his arms over his head and cracked his neck.

Bates stepped into the ring and picked up the fighting sticks. “And if I kick your ass?”

“I’ll be amused with you.” John flashed him a wicked grin.

* * * *

“You should know that McKay watched you this morning.”

John pulled on his watch and sighed. He’d actually felt pretty good after his shower but that had just disappeared in a flash of dread. “Well, fuck.”

“Yeah. Decisions?”

“I’d like to keep Wilkes – see what we think when he’s not under the influence of booze and Bates. But Bates has been a problem before and he’s not the best in the field dealing with other races. He’s xenophobic and a couple other ‘phobics’ that makes him unsuited for the gate program.”

Jack nodded. “Agreed, I’ll shift him out on the next rotation. Let him finish his tour at Area 51.”

“Did he seem upset?”

“Well, if you’d have kicked my ass like that, especially since you’d already been at it for two hours, I’d be a little upset. But you know Bates, he has a healthy ego.”

John shot his CO a look. “Sir.”

“He was… stunned. McKay has zero field experience and I imagine the only violence he’s ever been exposed to happened on a television screen or maybe a hockey game. He loves hockey. He’s a pure academic, Sheppard and they aren’t like us at all. Sam doesn’t even like me to keep my side arm in the bedroom. She bought me a gun safe and had it installed in my office downstairs.”

John laughed softly. “Yeah, okay.”

“On the other side of it… I have it on good authority that you looked very hot while you were kicking all that ass. Half the observation deck was full of women commenting on it.”

John ran his fingers over the very short damp hair that covered his head. He kept it as short as most enlisted men because it tended to stick up and look stupid if he didn’t. “Great. Great. Like I need my CO saying something like that to me.” He ignored Jack’s laughter. “Thanks for clearing a full ten hours for the Jumper thing.”

“Can’t very well give a man like McKay an hour in space and bring him home. Even I’m not that much of a cock tease.” Jack strolled away with that parting shot leaving his XO staring after him in shock.

He found McKay in the lab that he’d been assigned to. It was a surprise, as most often all of the scientists were piled up in one or two of the labs on the base yelling at each other in several languages and scribbling on white boards.


McKay looked up from his laptop and flushed. “Colonel.”

“We can leave in about twenty minutes—the general cleared ten hours of flight time. Which means we have plenty of time to visit Mars and basically anything else in the solar system you’d like.”

Rodney’s eyes glazed over a little bit. “How did you manage that?”

“The General thinks I need a social life but the report will read that he and I were attempting to rekindle your interest in the gate program to bring you back into the fold full time.” John leaned against the counter a few feet from the scientist. “You okay with what you saw this morning?”

“No. Yes. Probably.” Rodney closed his lap top and turned on the stool to stare at him. “I’ve worked with the military for years so you’d think I’d be used to that sort of thing; but I’ve really avoided situations like that since the beginning. I’ve never even held a handgun. So, yeah, watching you ‘spar’ with your men this morning was a lesson in violence that I’ve pretty much avoided most of my life.”

John winced. “Look…”

“It’s okay.” Rodney held up a hand. “If it was more than I could handle I’d be back at my bar – it’s where I retreat when I can’t handle this shit.” He waved his hand around. “You are what you are and the men under your command wouldn’t treat you with the respect they do if you hadn’t earned it in a couple thousand different ways. Though there are certainly less painful ways to discipline grown men.”

“Yeah, but those kinds of actions leave marks on records that follow men their whole career. Wilkes is young. Bates is a jackass. I couldn’t punish the jackass without twisting up the kid. I’ll keep Wilkes and I figure by the end of his first tour I’ll have beaten the redneck out of him.”

“Young men that entrenched in the closet often have problems like this.”

John raised an eyebrow. “You think he’s gay?”

“Yeah, me and the guy who hit on him.” Rodney shoved his laptop into its case and looked John over. “You don’t care if the men under your command speculate about you and me?”

“Like they haven’t noticed how much time I spend in your bar staring at you?” John raised an eyebrow and laughed when Rodney blushed. “Come on, let me show you where I really like to play.”

* * * *

He’d been inside several Jumpers but never with someone with an Ancient gene. The whole damn thing lit up like a Christmas tree – the HUD immediately responding to Sheppard as he sat down in the pilot seat. Rodney slid into the co-pilot seat but kept his hands to himself despite his desire to touch.

“They offered me the gene therapy recently since I’ve started working with some of the Ancient tech you brought back…”

“You should try it at least. It’s a safe procedure and it’ll open up what you can research—you won’t have to wait on a ATA gene carrier to come around and turn stuff on for you.” John connected with the flight command area of the SGC and went through pre-flight procedures in a low tone of voice, his manner was confident and easy. It was yet another place that he was very much in his element. “We’re going to go through the Earth gate to the space gate we have cloaked near Saturn if that is okay with you?”

“Yes, it’s perfect,” Rodney murmured.

John smiled then. “You’re going to make me think you only like me for my Puddle Jumper, McKay.”

“The Puddle Jumper is just like… a early morning blowjob after a night of really great sex.” Rodney sat back in his chair and pointedly refused to pull out his laptop. He had all kinds of diagnostics on flights with the Puddle Jumper and didn’t need more.

“You know, the General said that you’re a pure academic. He says that you’re nothing like a soldier.” Sheppard deftly maneuvered the Jumper down into the gateroom in front of the already established wormhole. “Then you go and compare flying a space ship to a blowjob and I have to think the old man is a bit wrong on that front.”

Rodney laughed, his gaze fixed on the event horizon that shimmered across the gate like water. “I never told him how much I wanted this because if he told me no… I could never really dream about it again. He figured I turned down the Atlantis mission the first time because I was afraid of going through the gate.”

“But you aren’t afraid of it.”

“No, not at all.” Rodney smiled then, his eyes bright with anticipation and when he focused on him—John’s chest got tight. “Atlantis was a one-way trip—everyone said so and I couldn’t leave my sister – she’d just lost her husband and her daughter was very small. I’m the only family she has left.”

John nodded, thoughtful. He’d skimmed the man’s family history when he’d read the file… more interested in other things like his educational background and his work with the SGC. He knew about the sister and the little girl named Madison. He knew that McKay had brought them to the states and that the sister, Jeanie, taught at a local college.

Rodney’s breath caught as John moved the Jumper forward and he exhaled on the other side of the event horizon where the inky blackness of space greeted them. “Christ, Sheppard, I think I love you a little right now.”

John laughed. “Then I’m glad Major Lorne told you no when you tried to talk him into it.”

“He’s an attractive man—built like a brick shithouse—but if he were any straighter he would need a muscle relaxer to even move.” Rodney swallowed hard when John swung the Jumper around and he got his first look at Saturn. The planet loomed in front of—blocking out everything. “I really wish I’d gone to Atlantis with you. Maybe… maybe I could have saved her and you’d still have the city you loved so much.”

“I don’t wish it at all. O’Neill told me you’d requested to join the expedition later—once we had established contact with Earth. I’m relieved he told you no.”

Rodney’s gaze jerked around. “Why?”

“Because we took one-hundred and fifty people through the gate, McKay and I only managed to bring back seventy-five in the end. Even if you had survived it and had come back—you wouldn’t be the man you are right this minute and for the record I like the man you are very much.”

“I… well shit…” He turned and refocused on the planet. “Can we go down into the atmosphere?”

“Yes.” A small smile slid across John’s lips. He wondered if anyone would ever believe him if he told them he’d gotten McKay so flustered he could barely talk.

An hour later, John had relaxed from his morning and was very content to listen to McKay chatter about ship design, subspace, and shield technology. When he finally set them down on Mars more than three hours into their trip he’d almost put Bates and Wilkes completely behind him.

Carefully, he configured the shielding around the ship until it encompassed a 30 square foot perimeter around the Jumper and then stood from the pilot ship. “Come on, McKay. Let’s go for a walk.”

“A walk?” Rodney squeaked. “I didn’t notice any suits…”

“I extended the shield. You’ll be perfectly safe.” John glanced back at him. “Trust me, Rodney.” He opened the back of the Jumper and the landscape of Mars was revealed to them. The dusty red/brown planet was nothing like Earth—nothing like any of the planets he’d ever been on personally as they’d all been oxygen rich environments. He sucked in a breath. It was probably the most ‘alien’ planet he’d ever seen up close and personal and that was stunning.

Rodney paused beside him. “Holy shit. You realize you’ve ruined first dates for all the men that come after you, right?” He stepped out of the Jumper after uttering that.

John braced himself against the side of the Jumper. “Two things, McKay.”

Rodney turned and looked at him. “Okay.”

“One, there won’t be any other men after me. Two, you’re the first human being to set foot on Mars in our recorded history.” John grinned when Rodney’s mouth dropped open. “Seriously. We’ve traveled through the gate so much that we haven’t even bothered with our own solar system.”

Rodney reached out, grabbed a fist full of his t-shirt, and pulled him bodily out of the Jumper. Their mouths met in a furious crush and John sank into the kiss like a starving man, pushing his tongue into the scientists mouth greedily. He loved the taste of him, wanted to spend the rest of his life exploring McKay’s mouth, his fingers traced over the smooth plains of his face, the edge of his jaw, down the column of his throat and one or both of them groaned.

John lifted his head from Rodney’s, breaking the kiss with a sigh. “Well, that won’t be going into my mission report.”

Rodney laughed. “No, probably not a good idea even if it would make Jack laugh his ass off.”

John leaned in brushed his lips over the other mans in a series of soft kisses until Rodney was curling his fingers into fists against his back. “Back in the Jumper for you – this is not all that risky but risky enough that I don’t want to tax the shields for an extended period of time.”

Rodney nodded. “Thank you for this. You don’t know…”

John touched Rodney’s mouth with two calloused fingers. “I do know. I know exactly. We may have taken different roads to get here, Rodney, but our dreams weren’t all that different. I became a pilot because I wanted to be an astronaut.”

Back in the Jumper, John slid into the pilot seat and called up the HUD. “You want to check out Pluto?”

“I can’t bear it,” Rodney admitted. “I still get mad whenever I think about it not being a planet any more.”

“You didn’t agree?”

“Of course I agreed. It’s still depressing.” Rodney crossed his arms over his and stared out the windshield. “It’s a little unnerving to have the solar system altered out from underneath you. The shields could handle a trip into the atmosphere of Venus, right?”

“Oh yeah.”

* * * *

Closer to Earth than the space gate, John chose to go back down a more traditional way. As he worked with the control room at the SGC, Rodney allowed himself to reflect on the trip and the man that had taken him on it. He wasn’t a stranger to being pursued by men; to be honest he preferred it. He was aggressive about his work and his place—but in his personal life he liked to be prey rather than the hunter.

“Incoming!” Sheppard rolled the Jumper without warning. “Star Gate Command, I’ve got a…” He paused obviously stunned. “I’ve got a drone contact.”

“Contact confirmed. Antarctica reports a malfunction with the weapons chair and you are dealing with a hot and nasty contact with a confirmed lock on your craft.”

John pulled the Jumper upward with sure moves. “How hot?”

“Nuclear. Your contact is nuclear and it’s a shield buster, John.” Jack O’Neill’s voice was tight with fury and a little fear that neither man was going to acknowledge. “Daedalus is twenty minutes out.”

“Fuck.” John lifted the ship out of the atmosphere completely and the drone followed. “Sir.”

“Lead it to the sun, Colonel.”

“And my passenger?” John demanded through clenched teeth.

“Daedalus is not going to be here in time to remove your passenger from the craft.” Jack’s voice was neutral now.

“For the record, sir, this sucks wide and when I get back down there someone is sooo paying for it!” John snapped and turned off his com with a vicious stab of his finger. He glanced over at Rodney and his mouth dropped open. The scientist and pulled out his lap top and his nimble fingers were flying over the keyboard. “What are you doing?”

“Hacking the drone.”

“What?” John demanded, he checked the drone’s status on the monitors. He could totally save their asses by going sublight but that would leave an unattended nuclear drone darting about in the space above the planet and he couldn’t risk it returning to Earth.

“The drones communicate with the chair until they hit a target and are destroyed,” Rodney muttered. “If I can hack the connection… dig into the communication I can redirect it. In the mean time, do stay on your toes. I would really hate to get killed before we did that whole bed thing you were talking about last night.”

“Yeah.” John glared at the monitor and gave the Jumper a little more speed. “That would seriously piss me off.” He reconnected with the SGC. “Please be aware that Dr. McKay is attempting to hack the drone.”


“So, not an accident,” Rodney confirmed as he worked. “Not an accident at all.”

“Excuse me, McKay?” Jack O’Neill demanded through the open radio connection.

“Not. An. Accident. I’m speaking English, right?” Rodney demanded. “Get Zelenka. I need Zelenka and Sam.”

“Sam is off base and Zelenka is ready to assist.”

Rodney nodded to himself. “The sun is the best choice.”

“Yes.” John nodded. “I’m doing my best, McKay.”

“I’m here, Rodney.” Radek Zelenka said through the connection. “I’m receiving the telemetry and navigational data… yes, yes, I see you’ve got your genius set to kill.”

Rodney laughed in spite of the situation. “Let’s just make sure you’re set to at least stun – this is based on one of my prototypes. Which one?”

“621 – it’s the only prototype we approved for nuclear drones.”

“Good. Did you leave in the backdoor?”

Zelenka snorted. “Why do you ask when you are already going in it?”

John fought the drone through a series of quick, successive maneuvers that stressed the inertia dampeners – the drone closed in. “McKay.”

“When I say—go sublight.”

“I can’t leave this fucking drone tooling about the solar system.”

“Have a little faith, Colonel.”

John shot him a sharp glance and then felt himself relax. The scientist no longer looked frantic. “Okay.”


“Ready.” Radek Zelenka confirmed.

“Go, Colonel.”

John went; trusting him was too simple, too easy to do and he realized that Rodney McKay could probably talk him into doing anything he wanted. He pulled the craft out of sublight near Mercury. “Control?”

“The drone has self-destructed one thousand kilometers from the Sun.” Zelenka announced softly.

“And?” Rodney demanded.

Radek sighed. “And Rodney McKay is the smartest man alive.”

Rodney laughed softly. “See you in a few minutes.”

John cleared his throat, he really hated the gentle tone that Rodney had taken with the fellow scientist. “General, we’ll return through the space gate after all as I’m not prepared for a repeat performance.”

“Understood, Colonel. Command out.”

He closed off the comm with a shaking hand. “So, someone just tried to kill one of us.”

“Well, technically they tried to kill us both but one of us was certainly the target. Someone in Antarctica with the gene and a grudge,” Rodney returned to his laptop and started working again. “Regardless this was still the best first date I’ve ever had.”

John laughed then and leaned back in his seat. “Yeah, I have to admit it’s been great.” He sobered. “Sorry that dinner is off the table, though.”

“Why?” Rodney frowned.

“I’ll be in Antarctica taking the place apart for the man who just tried to shove a drone up our collective asses.” He reached out and touched Rodney’s shoulder. “I’ll figure this out.”

“I have faith, too.” Rodney covered John’s hand with his own and smiled. “And for the record, you’re best is four times what I would expect from anyone else. I can’t believe what you just did with this ship. Do you know the odds of being able to outmaneuver and out run a targeted drone for as long as you just did?”

“Roughly?” John asked. “Eight hundred thousand seven hundred to one.”

Rodney’s eyes got a little wide. “Smart and pretty- it’s a dangerous combination.”

John grinned and motioned out ahead of them as they moved below the Earth. “How is that for a view?”

The Daedalus was moving into orbit. Rodney cleared his throat. “I’ve seen footage of it, of course, was there when they launched it out of the ground… but God look at it. After it was finished… I saw a hundred things I would have done differently… even more so now that I’ve seen a few more Ancient designs. Especially the Aurora class ships you reported on and sent information back on.”

“Colonel Sheppard this is the Daedalus, do you copy?”

John sighed but reached out and activated his radio. “Colonel Caldwell, nice to see you.”

Steven Caldwell chuckled. “Excellent flying, Sheppard. Just excellent. Would you like me to transport Dr. McKay down to the SGC?”

“No. He’ll stay with me. I will need a lift in a few minutes myself.”

“Oh yes, the General has already briefed me.”

“Understood.” John disconnected the comm, again and headed towards the space gate. “You didn’t want to transport on board the Daedalus did you?”

“No. I’d rather stay with you.” He glanced back at the ship as the moved away. “I don’t know who is piloting that thing… and the last time I was transported I was pretty sure I was dying. I had nightmares for weeks about the flash of that light all around me—I was…” He trailed off. “You know they say you see a bright light just after you die.”

John’s jaw tightened and he dialed the gate silently and sent his IDC code with a flutter of fingers. “Can we really not ever discuss that you died again, it’s getting under my skin.”


The gate decloaked as they approached and Sheppard confidently pushed through. They were both silent as he lifted the Jumper up out of the gateroom and up into an elevated Jumper bay. He parked with practiced ease and they sat there in silence for a full minute. Then John slid out of the pilot seat and pulled Rodney up, laptop and all.

Rodney gasped against the colonel’s lips and smiled when Sheppard caught the laptop and tossed it into his abandoned seat. John’s mouth left his and he placed a series of small kisses along his jaw and then down his neck before he buried his face there and pulled the scientist close.

When he could he spoke. “Just so you know, you’re SO not going off world for like…. for ever how long it takes for this fear to go away.”

Rodney held on tight concerned to find the soldier shaking. “You surprise the hell out of me, Colonel.”

“I’m about to go surprise the hell out of a quite a few people,” John admitted darkly.

“Well, have fun storming the castle.” Rodney patted his shoulder as he said it.

John laughed then and released him. “Christ. Okay. The General is waiting.” He stepped back and let the man gather his laptop and bag while he shouldered the backpack he’d used for food during their little ‘mission’.

And he wasn’t the only one. Ronon, Major Lorne, Dr. Samantha Carter, Dr. Z, and Dr. Jennifer Keller were all standing outside of the Jumper beside a seemingly patient Jack O’Neill.

“John.” Jack eyed him shrewdly. “That is some of the best flying I’ve ever seen in my entire life and McKay… do you have backdoors built into all of my drones?”

“Yes, of course, don’t be stupid.” McKay handed the laptop off to Zelenka with a frown at the General. “It isn’t like I can trust any of those idiots in Antarctica not to be astronomically stupid—or in this particular case murderous.”

“Understood. Appreciated. Get your ass to the infirmary for an evaluation.”

“I’m fine.” Rodney brushed him off and started to prod Radek out the door.

“McKay.” John jerked his head towards Dr. Keller. “With Jennifer, full evaluation, and a meal in that order.”

Jack O’Neill’s mouth dropped open when Rodney nodded and motioned the small blond doctor to follow along with him. But he said nothing until the two scientists and the doctor had left. “How did you manage that?”

John frowned. As far as he could tell, Rodney had never really argued with him, ever. “Antarctica, Sir?”

“Yes. Of course. Ronon, Sam, and Lorne are going with us.”

* * * *

“I’m fine you know.” Rodney winced when Jennifer purposefully tightened the rubber tourniquet around his arm and prepped a needle. “Seriously.”

“The General wants an evaluation,” Jennifer said simply. “You haven’t really let us near you since you were on the Asgard ship – so we only have what Thor reported to go on.” She filled two tubes of blood and then released the tourniquet. “When did you eat last?”

“The Colonel and I had sandwiches a few hours ago; but for the record I haven’t had a problem with hypoglycemia since… since Thor fixed me.”

Jennifer raised an eyebrow. “Anything else he ‘fix’?”

“No headaches, not once since I was on his ship.” Rodney glanced down at the band aid on his arm. “He said, when he was done that I was ‘fixed’. I was so relieved by the fact that I was not dead and my heart didn’t feel like it was bursting from my chest that I didn’t question him. But over the last year and a half, I’ve realized that he really mean it — he fixed me. Even reversed the onset of far sightedness.”

“Why haven’t you talked to me about this?”

“Because I didn’t…” He flushed. “I really don’t want anyone to know, Jennifer. The military would certainly want to do a lot of tests to see if they could figure out what Thor did and I don’t want to be a test subject. Especially with the Asgard gone now and all of their knowledge sitting in a databank at Area 51. I’m at least some of that knowledge put to use.”

“Anything he didn’t fix?”

“I still have my citrus allergy which sucks.”

* * * *

John rang the door bell and then shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans. It had been a week and though he’d sent McKay a few brief emails that the man had returned with equally brief emails; the moment he’d gotten back to Colorado seeing the man was the first thing on his agenda. It was nearly two in the morning but most of the lights in the house were on.

The door swung open and Rodney’s eyes widened. “John.” He stepped back and motioned him inside. “I figured you’d crash in your bed…”

“You weren’t at the bar.”

“Oh, well, I hired a manager for the bar.”

“I know I met her.” John frowned. “Where did you get her from? It was like talking to a CIA agent or something.”

“Actually, she’s ex-Secret Service. When I worked in Washington the President insisted that I have the protection of Secret Service and Teyla pretty much followed me around for the entire year that I was there. She puts up with me; understands me and doesn’t take any shit. Well, I found out three days ago that she was retiring and offered her a job. She took it.”

“Why did you need a manager?”

“Well…” Rodney closed the door. “I’m going to start working from home on some things and I’ll still go into the bar because the place relaxes me. It’ll be nice to have someone to handle the details of the place and if a soldier mouths off to Teyla she’ll kick his ass.”

“Right.” John frowned as Rodney motioned him to follow. “I didn’t disturb you?”

“No. Not at all.” He lead him into his office. “I want to show you something.”

“You don’t want me to tell you.” John guessed as he entered Rodney’s office. “You’ve heard the rumors and you don’t want to hear it.”

Rodney stopped moving and stared at John. “Which rumor? That one of your ex-lovers heard about your interests in me and tried to kill us both in retaliation? Or how about the one where the scientist went to Atlantis lost both of his legs on the mission and blames us both for it. Me for suggesting him for the mission and you for leading it?”

“One—and listen carefully – I was never involved with any of the members of the expedition, not even after I accepted that we were probably all going to die in that godforsaken city. What ever feelings Peter Grodin harbored for me I was totally and completely oblivous to them. Two – yes you suggested him for the mission and yes the man lost his legs in an accident. Despite that he proved to be a very productive member of the expedition and neither one of us is responsible for his idiotic behavior last week.” John looked around the obscenely messy office. “I thought you’d be neater.”

“Fuck you.” Rodney snapped. “You never… not once… not even in passing?”

“For Christ’s sake, I couldn’t remember the man’s name for the first six months we were out there. I called him everything but his name and he never corrected me. It wasn’t until I had to do performance evaluations that I realized his name was Peter and not Paul!” John frowned at him. “I’m not a whore you know.”


“Look, three women, ten men in twenty-two years, and one ascended Ancient woman which was not really sex but like ‘glowy’ touching. I don’t fuck indiscriminately and I’m pretty damn picky about who I let in my life on any level much less on an intimate level like that.”

Rodney stared at him for a minute and then he smiled. “Glowy touching, you said?”

“Fuck you, McKay.” His gaze focused on a large white board. “Is this an air craft schematic?”

“Yes, well the beginning of one. Still working on a few things and then I’ll start drafting the real design. I guess you could say that your mission was successful last week. The moment I came home I started working on it.”

“I could care less if you work for the SGC; my mission was getting you to look at me the way you look at Ancient tech when you get really excited.” John stared at the drawing for a few minutes and then rubbed his face. “I’m exhausted. I should go.”

“Why don’t you stay with me?” Rodney ran one hand down his arm.

“Because it’s been more than a year since I’ve had anything but my hand and if I stay in this house with you— sex is happening.”

“And that’s a problem because?”

“I don’t want you to think that’s all I want.”

Rodney snorted. “The last person you were involved with was a woman and it was one woman too many if you ask me. You know men don’t think that way at all. Sex is sex. And if all you wanted was sex… I know I would have gotten laid a lot sooner. It’s been a freaking year since we met.” He curled his fingers into John’s. “Come on. I’ve got a king size bed with lots of room for brave soldier boys to sleep and play.”

“I’d better be the only soldier boy you invite to play in your big bed,” John muttered as he let the scientist lead him through the house and up the stairs. “You know you’ve got a great ass. It’s like the fourth thing I noticed about you.”

“Only the fourth?” Rodney pulled him into the bedroom. “My ass deserves better than that.”

John gathered Rodney up in his arms and covered his mouth with his own… thrusting his tongue into the man’s mouth when he gasped. Their tongues met and stroked against each other as hands started to pull at clothes that were suddenly so unnecessary. The broke apart reluctantly and John pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Granted, your ass really is perfect. But the eyes, the hands, and that amazing mouth—distracted me from it’s utter perfection for at least five minutes.” He shoved off his shoes as he tossed the shirt aside and then reached for his dog tags.

“No.” Rodney reached out and touched the tags and ran finger up the length of chain. “Leave those on.”

“You freak,” John sighed. “You perfect little freak. Strip.”

John watched the scientist strip with an economy of motion that had him following suit. They fell onto the bed in a tangle of naked limbs and seeking mouths both shuddering as John slid between Rodney’s thighs and rested on him.

“I’ve wanted this for a very long time.” John lifted away, kneeling between McKay’s legs and ran two hands down his chest, dipping as he traced across his stomach to his hips. The touch was firm, warm, possessive and Rodney relaxed underneath him completely. “I could make a meal out of you.”

“You can have anything you want, John. Anything.”

John sucked in a deep breath as he gripped lean hips under his hands and then lowered his head—his lips brushed over already hard nipples, tongue flicking out to taste and to savior of the flavor of the man who had given himself over without hesitation. Rodney’s large, enticing hands drifted over his head as he placed impossibly soft kisses down the middle of his chest – lingering on the flesh above his heart—and then moving downward at a leisurely pace that made them both ache.

Rodney gasped when John’s tongue dipped into the small indent of his belly button and then groaned when he moved over—skipping over his aching cock purposefully. “Evil bastard.”

John laughed softly but used firm hands to spread the man beneath him fully open. He palmed the back of Rodney’s thighs and slid downward in a warm glid of flesh that was intimate in a way neither had ever known and cupped Rodney’s ass. “I’ll get you there.”

The silky promise in his words sent a shudder of need down Rodney’s back and he lifted up against his will when John mouthed one ball and then the other—the wet feel of his tongue was mind blowing. “Fuck.”

John laughed, lifted up and took Rodney’s cock deep into his mouth without another word, letting him slide all the way in—until the head bumped into the back of his throat. Then he started to bob up and down on it with the kind of skill that was blinding and so distracting he almost missed the burn of a single blunt finger sliding into his ass. He hissed at the small pain of it and then relaxed against the sharp invasion.

“You’re tight,” John whispered as he let Rodney’s cock slip from his mouth. “So tight.”

“It’s been several years since I let someone…” He bit down on his lip when John added a second finger. “I’ve got lube in the drawer.”

He removed his fingers and leaned over Rodney’s prone body to get the lube. The tube was at top of a book in the drawer and he raised one eyebrow as he pulled the safety seal from it. “New lube?”

Rodney laughed. “I usually use jack off in the shower – so yes I had to buy lube.”

“Condoms?” John asked softly.

“If you’d prefer.” Rodney made a face. “I’m clean though.”

“Me, too,” John murmured as he pushed two slick fingers into explore. “I’ve never not used a condom… combine that with a year of my hand and this might be the quickest fuck in the history of man.”

Rodney laughed. “No way. My first time…” He groaned and lifted up off the bed. “Christ you’re a fucking god with those fingers.”

“Your first time?” John questioned softly. He leaned down and placed a series of soft kisses over the smooth flesh of Rodney’s belly. “Man or woman?”

“Both first times were a bit of a rush,” Rodney admitted, his voice rough with wonder and pleasure. “The first time I got with another man… I came sucking his dick.”

John took a deep breath. “Do you still do that?”


“That is so fucking hot, McKay.” He sucked at the hard ridge of bone on Rodney’s hip, and scrapped his teeth against the thin stretch of thin. “I want to fuck you this way—with you on your back so I can watch you face.”

“Yes,” Rodney immediately agreed.

John pushed a third finger into him and watched the scientist’s eyes blur with wonder and pleasure. “You are such a bottom…” He laughed softly. “I knew you’d be all soft and amazing like this.”

“I’m not above drilling your ass if you want it.” Rodney sucked in a breath. “Fuck.”

John leaned down and licked Rodney’s dick from base to the weeping tip. “I would seriously hope not—it would be a waste of a perfectly good cock.”

Rodney arched up off the bed as John swallowed him and started to suck him off an earnest while his fingers plunged deep and true into his ass. It was too much—John’s perfect mouth, his twisting tongue, and his bold fingers stroking and touching too deep. “Oh, fuck, John I’m coming.”

John groaned around the cock in his mouth and swallowed every single drop of cum that jetted into his mouth. Slowly, he released the man and groaned as he the silky flesh of Rodney’s dick drug across his tongue and he pulled his fingers free at the same time. He grabbed the lube and prepared his own cock – slicking it up enough that he wouldn’t hurt the other man but not so much that they wouldn’t get the friction they both craved.

Rodney shuddered and John looked over up, his gaze traveling over the damp skin of his stomach and chest to those beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes were studying him with soft with pleasure but shrewd all the same. “You’re fucking gorgeous, you know that right?”

John grinned. “I’ve heard it said a few times.” He moved forward, over Rodney and pressed the head of his cock against the muscled ring that protected his entrance. “Relax, baby.” They both groaned when the head of his cock breached and then sighed when he was able to slid all the way in. “Perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Fuck me.”

John groaned at the demand but hooked one of his arms under Rodney’s knee and lifted the leg for leverage. “You said it had been a while. Let me…” He groaned when McKay clenched his ass around his cock. “Stop, you bastard, before I hurt you.”

Rodney dug his hands into the bedding beneath him and forced himself to relax. “Please. Christ.”

“I know.” He released the leg he held and settled his weight on top of his lover. “I know, baby.” John covered Rodney’s mouth with his own and thrust his tongue in to explore as he started to thrust in and out of the man’s ass.

Rodney clutched at his sweat covered back with desperate fingers and keened into John’s mouth, his body surging up to meet John’s every thrust with needy lifts of his hips. He lifted his head and stared into the scientist’s bright eyes. “I love you.”

“You can’t..”

“It’s too late,” Sheppard soothed, he brushed his lips over Rodney’s again and again. “Too late for that. God, I love you.” He reached between them and grasped his rapidly hardening cock. “You like it when I fuck you, don’t you… it this hard cock for me?”

Rodney groaned and dug his short nails into John’s back. “Yes… yes… John.”

“Open those eyes and look at me,” John ordered. “Watch the man who’s fucking you.”

Rodney’s eyes snapped open in shock at the tone… the demand and how sexy it was. John’s dog tags dangled and struck Rodney’s chest with each thrust of his body—the black noiseguards preventing any sort of damage but reminding him with each gentle thunk that who exactly he was in bed with. The strong calloused hand on his dick, and the thick cock pushing into his ass rubbing against his prostate with alarming skill was overwhelming and he knew he was going to come again…. knew he was going to come hard.

Then he was, spilling warm seed all over John’s hand in a rush of pleasure so hot that he cried out and John thrust deep and hard into his ass then – his whole body going rigid as he came. Rodney groaned at the flash of heat he felt inside and clutched at John as he collapsed on top of him. John stayed there for a minute, their gazes locked as they both shook with the aftershocks of pleasure and then he carefully pulled free and rolled to his side.

“You were right,” Rodney muttered. “Everything you do, you do well.”

John laughed softly, leaned down and kissed the man gently. “You know what the great thing is about having your own astrophysicist?”

Rodney raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Everything.” John sighed. “Everything is great about it.”

The End

Read the Next Story in the Series:
I Walk the Line


Keira Marcos

In my spare time, I write fanfiction and lead a cult of cock worshippers on the Internet. It's not the usual kind of hobby for a 40ish "domestic engineer" but we live in a modern world and I like fucking with people's expectations.


  1. I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.

  2. OMG! You get better with each story. More please….

  3. WONDERFUL!!!! I love this universe and how the characters mesh so well with the canon episodes. I was sorry to see the story end.

  4. I adore possessive!John and that he finally gets to have Rodney for his very own… great first date — Mars! Sweet and hot!

  5. Julieann Wozniak

    Very cool AU. Hoping you’ll return to play in it often. Just love fearless Rodney and smart John.

  6. Bloody brilliant lass, I’ve left little feedback of late about anything on WB because works been hectic and I’, back at uni for the summer session but this deserved to be noticed. It smacks as though John could be a good top..I just love a good D/s. Hope to see more of this universe. Love the site….have always wondered how sectioning areas off like this is done…it looks fab. hugs

  7. Wow. This was very well written. I enjoyed the AU you created. Very nice.

  8. Oh, yeah, take an astrophysicist to Mars and tell him he’s the first human in recorded history to walk there–you’re getting lucky.

  9. Holy crap that was hot! I loved your John and your Rodney, still fundamentally the same as in canon but just amplified.

    McKay hacking the drone while John flew was almost as hot as the porny bits.

    Speaking of which, holy hotness! Yeah, that works for me. Loved this!

  10. uhmmmm..*drools* dominant and possessive John;you managed to hit the majority of my kinks*smirks* I really, really hope you’ll continue with this series..

  11. WOW!
    Brilliant. 😀 😀
    Well written, good pacing, sharp dialogue. SGA and SG1 people in it. A great AU.
    Cant wait for more of this.

  12. Interesting and fun AU. I love Jack in charge of the SGC, and John as his 2nd is inspired. The little changes you’ve done to histories fits with the world you’ve set up. Love John being extremely competent and good at his job. Slowly watching Rodney for a long time is very calculating, and romantic too. Enjoyed.

  13. I adore possessive John so much! I love this series!

  14. Wow! This definitely goes on my favorite fic’s list. Awesome, hot and wonderful backstory that is totally plausible.

  15. This is the third time I have reread this fic and the sequel. I absolutely love them both. John is great, and even more hot than in canon, and Rodney is more stable and less fragile. It it just great.

  16. This is the first time after reading a fic that I actually experienced lightheadedness and became dizzy. Wow! I’m glad I was sitting when I read this.

    I love the way John was strong and honest with Rodney. This was no time for fooling around, he’d found what he wanted. *sigh*

    Best line: “One, there won’t be any other men after me. Two, you’re the first human being to set foot on Mars in our recorded history.”

    Thanks for sharing this with me.

  17. It seems I’m 1 of the gang! This story is great – Keep them coming!

    I like the fact that you’ve got Jack, Sam, Vala, Zelenka, Ronon & Teyla featured here as well, but I’m left wondering where Teal’c, Daniel & Cameron are…?

    Will there be more to this story to explain them being missing from this otherwise GREAT story.

    I look forward with eager anticipation to your next story in the future.

    Take Care,

  18. *sighing happily*

    Okay, so I’m pathetic. I’m reading this *again*… and falling in love with your John and Rodney all over again.

    “There’s nothing remotely repressed about me…” has to be one of the very best lines of all time. *applauds*

    Okay, before I degenerate into incoherent fangirling, I’m off to gleefully wallow in the rest of this again.

  19. Oh god, I just love this whole series so much. I think this is my fourth read-through.

  20. I just finished the whole series and I’m going to re-read it immediately…. I loved it to death!

  21. I read this whole series over the weekend and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for the great work.

  22. Just realized I hadn’t left a note here. I first read this at WB, and ended up here looking for more of your work.

    This story grabs readers the first time, and continues to compell and fascinate after multiple re-readings. That’s my definition of ‘a classic’.

  23. I was told how “fucking epic” this story was, so of course I couldn’t resist. And as I watch SGA, I totally got lost in the last part… beautifully done. Danke for the good read! On to the next chapter!

  24. Good writing, and I love the characterization. Picking up some hints of D/s here. 😉

  25. Okay, so this is the first story i have read in this series and let me say… wow! I can;t believe that i have never run across this series before. I love McShep and you write it so well. Even though this is an AU story you stil capture everyone very well. You seemed to put everything i wanted into this story possessive/dominant!John, bottom!Rodney and oh-so-hot smut! I am now on to the next story in this series and can;t wait to see where you take it!

  26. “Open those eyes and look at me,” John ordered. “Watch the man who’s fucking you.” is the without a doubt the best and hottest line in fanfic history. I’ve read this series twice now. It is AWESOME!!!!! Seriously, one of the best SGA fic sites out there. I love your writing style. I can’t get enough of it. Thanks for sharing your stories with the rest of us.

  27. I love this series, and glad to re-read it, and know all great stuff just waiting to be read again.
    Really love the way you write.
    The way you manage to put in small tidbits about the attraction and love already between John and Rodney from the start of the story, like with Johnny Cash in the jukebox, John’s comment that he spends time in the Bar staring at Rodney.

    My favorite part of the story is actually when they land the Jumper and John tells Rodney that; “Your So not going off world for like…” and then hugs him, just like that little moment between them.
    And no I really don’t mind the hot smut at the end either.

  28. I love this story & the whole series

  29. *sighing happily*

    I’m sitting here with a goofy smile, utterly content after reading this yet one more time.

    Damn, you’re good.

  30. Found this fic again and it’s such delicious, naughty pleasure. *sigh* This ‘verse is so much head cannon! Off to read more – thank you SO MUCH for sharing.

    MJ 😀

  31. I find that I keep coming back and re-reading this fic every couple of months! I’m addicted and may need to go to rehab 🙂 Thanks for all the wonderful work you do!

  32. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve read this now. It’s such a lovely story and I love the way John and Rodney connect so naturally. And that was the most awesome first date ever, I would totally be ruined as well. Though I am sad about what happened to poor Peter, I always liked him. But still a beautiful story that I’m sure I’ll read about a zillion more times.

  33. I absolutely adore your stories, and this is only like my third or fourth time re-reading this one, and felt maybe I should actually tell you that!

    Also, in the last round or so I’ve started noticing a few grammar mistakes (the first time through I was clearly distracted by the total awesomeness). Mostly it’s the kind of stuff that’s easy to miss yourself, because when you try to check you’re probably reading in what you expected to see. (things like an instead of in, or you’re instead of your). Would it be presumptuous of me to offer corrections as I read through? I’m not sure if it’d be helpful, or if it’d be annoying and take time from writing your current series, and that would tragic.

    • This entire series is in beta for an ebook edition so don’t worry about any typos you see. The text will be replaced with a newer file in the next few months or so anyways.

  34. hadn’t given this series a chance before (glad I changed my mind and make me wonder where my mind was !)

    Really enjoyed this and off to read part two now 😀

  35. Good LORD! That was incendiary!!! No idea why I didn’t comment on this the first time I read this, but I am rereading and correcting oversights because really, you should know just how damn HOT and WONDERFUL this reads! 🙂

  36. Oh how I miss Stargate. I am so happy I stumbled across this. Thank you for sharing.

  37. why can’t I highlight on this page

  38. I’m re-reading some of my favourites from your library, this treasure among them, and I really need to thank you for this pearl of romance and hotness and general greatness that is WMHB and its various glittering adventures. When John and Rodney meet, everything just suddenly makes so much more sense and anything seems possible – watch out, Universe, McShep is coming! 😀

  39. This is my third time rereading this series and I still amazed that there is a universe where Teyla was born on Earth instead of Athos, It makes me wonder if that also played a significant part in the failure of the first expedition or if there was someone else in the role that Teyla played in canon. I’m going to have to keep rereading this series to see if my musing were answered in a later fic in the series.

    Anyway, I just want to say that I am thankful that you decided to write this series and share with the world.

  40. great story still, love the romance blossoming between them and you really do write good sex scenes

  41. I’m back, re-reading this series after finishing another delightful re-read thru TTB, and once again am amazed at your ability to write characters I really care about. In TTB, I hated Sam & Keller. I actually sort of loved rolling around in the evil of one and the clueless, mouseyness (its a word) of the other. And now here, as I settle in for another scrumptious read thru of this series, I’m already smiling at the friendship Rodney has with Sam & the relationship between Sam & O’Neill. And as I looked over the casting pics, I found myself looking forward to the family connections and friendships that the boys have with Keller – who I usually love to hate just on general, anti- Barbie doll principles. Anyway, if I comment on a fic I usually do so at the end. But I felt the need to share my awe of your writing with you – in real time. lol

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