The Other Evans Girl

Title: The Other Evans Girl
Author: Keira Marcos
Big Short Prompt: Original Female
Fandom: Harry Potter/The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Word Count: 1,812 (complete, one-shot)
Warnings: No beta
Author’s Note: I’d cast Mary-Louise Parker as my OFC.
Summary: Albus Dumbledore gets a bit of a surprise when he comes to check on Harry Potter.

Art by by Myana Luna [aka MyzticMyanMoon]

* * * *

November 3, 1981

Petunia Dursley was nervous. She watched her half-sister, Iris, prowl around the kitchen in a terrible temper. It was her fault—she should’ve realized that Iris would return from America the moment she heard of Lily’s death. Petunia glanced toward their nephew who was playing quietly with Dudley. She was ashamed to say that when her sister had arrived, Iris had found Harry in a nappy that had been soiled for a full day.

Iris was reading the letter that Dumbledore sent for the fifth time. Vernon was very quiet—which was good since Iris had already ripped him apart once for attempting to have an opinion about the situation. Iris wasn’t a witch—she was a Guide, and in their world, a Guide was nothing to be trifled with.

“I cannot believe this sorry motherfucker left Harry with the two of you when he knows you both hate and fear magic,” Iris finally muttered. “Okay, so the wards themselves are only tied to Harry and the only benefit Petunia has to them is her blood relation to Lily. Unfortunately, I can’t move the wards so Harry must stay in this house to keep Lily’s magical protections.”

“We don’t want that little freak,” Vernon protested and shifted away from Iris when she glared at him. “I mean it—I won’t have that freak in my house.”

“This isn’t your house, Vernon,” Iris said coolly. “It belonged to our parents which means I own half of it and Petunia owns the other now that Lily is gone. Lily and I agreed to let Pet use the house since neither one of us particularly wanted to live in the neighborhood. I’ll never understand why our parents kept this house out of all their other rental properties when they retired.”

Petunia winced when Vernon flushed in fury, but she knew he wouldn’t act against her sister. Assaulting an online Guide could get a mundane thrown in prison. She looked up and found Iris focused on her.

“He saw into your heart—and found you lacked the decency to raise a magical child with love,” Iris said flatly. “So Dumbledore left Lily’s precious baby with you with the knowledge that he would grow up unloved, unwanted, and probably outright neglected on a regular basis. Perhaps over time, the hatred you both feel for magic would’ve become so extreme that you’d have lashed out at Harry physically. There had to be other choices, other ways he could’ve protected Harry but I doubt they crossed his mind. He didn’t know about me—no one in Lily’s world did—but I doubt I’d have been his choice.”

Petunia agreed with that. Iris was four years older than Lily—a child from their father’s first marriage. She’d already been online as a Guide when Lily got her letter, and they all agreed that while Lily was welcome to explore the world of magic that Iris would not be discussed there. Sentinels and Guides weren’t unheard of in the magical world, but there were far more Sentinels then there were Guides, so Muggle Guides often found themselves pursued by magical Sentinels no matter their compatibility. Iris wanted no part of that. She wanted no part of a bond at all as far as Petunia knew.

“What do we do?” Petunia asked.

“Harry must live with a maternal blood relative in this house, and you can’t stand him. Obviously, you’re leaving, Petunia.” Iris rolled her eyes when Vernon started to bluster and turned to glare at him. “This is not your decision, Vernon. You get no bloody say!” She turned to Petunia. “I told you that settling for this twat would come back to haunt you, Pet. Imagine how he would eventually treat Harry. I know you can’t bring yourself to love him but do you honestly believe Lily’s son deserves go grow up in such an ugly situation?”

“No, you’re right,” Petunia said and took a deep breath. “Do you want to buy my half of the house?”

“I will, yes. I have enough money in my trust to cover half the value, and you can use that for a down payment on a house in a different area.” She raised an eyebrow when Petunia frowned. “Honestly, Pet, do you want your precious Dudders going to primary school with Harry?”

“No,” Vernon said. “No, we don’t. I don’t want Dudley tainted by that freak.”

Iris turned on Vernon with a hiss, and her spirit animal appeared at her side. The leopard hissed at Vernon, too. “Do not ever say that about Harry again, Vernon Dursley.”

“You’re a freak, too,” Vernon blustered, and Petunia wondered where he’d gotten the courage to make such a statement.

“Get out of this house,” Iris said. “And you’re not welcome to return.”

“Well, I live here right now!” Vernon shouted.


“Vernon, please, just go pack a few things and stay at a hotel while we make arrangements to move,” Petunia said. “If you upset her unduly, you’ll be sanctioned by the S/G Center for Guide abuse which won’t hurt you now, but it could damage your career later.”

Vernon glared at Iris, stood and with a dirty look in Harry’s direction stalked out of the kitchen.

“He’s a tool,” Iris said flatly.

“He loves me,” Petunia explained. “You told me that—and what hope did I ever have for that? I’m not pretty like you and Lily.”

Iris sighed. “He does love you, and you’re lovely Pet.”

Petunia just shook her head. She appreciated her sister’s efforts, but she looked in the mirror every day—she was plain and ordinary. Iris and Lily were beautiful and extraordinary. That’s just the way things were.

* * * *

December 20, 1985

Iris prodded one of Harry’s trucks aside as she crossed the living room to answer the door. “Harry! Come pick up your toys!”

Her son came trotting down the stairs even as she opened the door. Iris’ stomach lurched at the sight—a wizard. An elderly wizard. Her gaze narrowed as she allowed her empathy to bloom. Deception and dishonesty just seemed to pour off of him, and he hadn’t said a word. He was staring at her, wide-eyed with shock.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m Albus Dumbledore. I’m here to see Petunia Dursley and check on Harry.”

Iris leaned on the doorway. “Are you really? You dump a baby on the doorstep in the middle of bloody winter without even ringing the doorbell, and you’ve just now come around to check on him? Odd.”

The old man flushed. “Yes, well. May I come in?”

“No,” Iris said and smiled when he reared back in shock. “And I know you can’t ignore that—the wards my sister set are quite intelligent.”

“Sister? You’re Lily’s sister as well?”

“The eldest,” Iris agreed.

“I must speak with Petunia.”

“Petunia moved to Australia.”

“She can’t, she can’t move to Australia. The wards are tied to her and Harry—they’ll fall apart without her.”

Iris stared for a moment, surprised by how easy it was to tell he was lying. “I see, and how long could she be gone before this happened?”

“At the most, nine months,” Dumbledore said gravely. “You must contact her immediately and make her return.”

He looked down, and Iris sighed. Harry pressed against her side and stared at the old wizard. She put her hand on Harry’s shoulder to keep him from speaking. He relaxed against her and offered Dumbledore a shy smile.

“I see and can you tell me the state of the wards at this very moment?”

“They’re quite robust, but that will change quickly. Petunia must be here to raise Harry.”

“My sister moved to Australia in 1981,” Iris said flatly and glared at the old man as he sputtered. “Her husband was offered a very good opportunity for advancement that was too good to pass up. We talk occasionally, but she hasn’t been in this house in three and a half years.”

“But…” Dumbledore trailed off.

“Mum, is this Santa? He’s early! I haven’t finished cleaning my room!”

Iris snorted because Dumbledore was gaping at Harry. “No, love, this is not Santa. Do you remember how I told you that your first mum was a witch?”

“Yes,” Harry said with a smile. “Is he a witch?”

“I’m a wizard,” Dumbledore corrected as if he were offended.

Harry frowned at him. “Is there something wrong with being a witch?”

“No, of course not.” Dumbledore straightened his robe.

“Then why are you mad to be called one on accident?” Harry questioned.

“By accident,” Iris corrected and patted his shoulder. “Go pick up your toys, sweetie, or we won’t have time to make biscuits before bed.” Harry darted away, and she focused on Dumbledore. “The wards are fine, Harry’s more than fine and doing very well in school. He’s had one bout of accidental magic but it was just some broken glass, and I was the only witness. You’re not wanted here, Dumbledore, so go away.”

He started to move forward, but the wards shimmered across the door and flashed a dull pink with warning. “How are you doing that? You’re a Muggle.”

“Well, not all Muggles are cut from the same cloth,” Iris said. “Go away and when his Hogwarts letter comes—Minerva McGonagall will be welcome to come talk to Harry about the school. He’ll make a decision about attending then.”

“He must attend Hogwarts,” Dumbledore said hotly.

“He must attend a magical school, but there are hundreds of those all over the world,” Iris said. “Harry is an avid learner, and even now he is demanding student—far more than even his mother. So I expect he’ll pick a school with a variety of classes that will offer him a challenge. Lily admitted to me once that she would’ve gotten a better education at the International Academy. I may be a Muggle, but I have resources in the magical world.” She started to close the door but then swung it back open. “Also, to save yourself some embarrassment—you should return every single thing you’ve removed from the Potter vault. I’ve asserted my authority over it on Harry’s birthday during the summer, and the dverger will audit it after the New Year. You wouldn’t want to be accused of defrauding the House of Potter, would you?” She shut the door.

“You’re a Muggle,” Dumbledore snapped through the door.

“And you’re a bloody arsehole in an ugly dress!” Iris snapped. “Fuck off!”

“Wow,” Harry said.

Iris turned to stare at him. “Don’t repeat any of what I just said.”

Harry grinned. “Not even the ugly dress part?”

Iris sighed as he darted off with a laugh. She leaned against the door and the wards brushed over her mind. “Oh, Lily, you were so talented.” The air around her warmed and affection drifted over her mind. “I’ll keep your baby safe, I swear it.”

The End

Author’s Note:

The Big Short is a short-form writing challenge hosted on Rough Trade’s forum, The Workshop. The prompts come in two forms — a word challenge (the theme) and a single character challenge. I post my responses to the prompts on the forum first and eventually they’ll make it to my website. Each is a stand alone piece with no potential for expansion.

These short works are NOT prompts! These are my responses to the forum prompts. No, you cannot use them as prompts. No you cannot continue my short work with a longer work or write a sequel. For fuck’s sake.

Keira Marcos

In my spare time, I write fanfiction and lead a cult of cock worshippers on the Internet. It's not the usual kind of hobby for a 40ish "domestic engineer" but we live in a modern world and I like fucking with people's expectations.


  1. I loved that and I loved her. This was really fun and a so very new twist on HP Book one. Take that, Al!

  2. Beautiful! I always wondered what was up with those wards, why they wouldn’t protect Harry from Vernon. A non blood related person giving a beat down? Oh no honey. I love the sentience you have here. Thanks for sharing! I love all your shorts and I’m glad they are something you feel comfortable sharing.

  3. All I can think about now is a little Harry dancing around singing “ugly dress, ugly dress.”

    • My thoughts exactly. You know hes going to say that to someone in public too- its what kids do when they overhear you say something you shouldn’t!

  4. Love this like a mother fucker!

  5. I just love your work. I’m a bit sad that this is a big short because I really like where this is going. A smart Harry and a strong female character that’s a guide boot so much fun…

  6. Ohhh f***!!! I love it!! Every thing you write fills me with such wonderful and amazing feelings. You are definitely a 5 star writer.
    I love your creative mind so much that i can’t conceive a world without your stories.
    Keep doing a fantastic job, i don’t think i could ever fall out of love with your narrative.

  7. Oh I am giggling over here. This is … seriously. *snickers* I always love it when Dumbledore gets his nose smacked with a rolled up newspaper (or worse), It will never cease to amaze and horrify me that not only fans but JKR herself believe Dumbledore to be ‘a good man who makes mistakes’. I just cannot even with that shit.

    At any rate, this was delightful. And amusing as hell, because I was having a great deal of fun imagining the look on Dumbledore’s face, not to mention the mental fuming he has to be doing.

  8. This is lovely. Thank you for sharing!

  9. This is amazing. I like adore your OFC. She feels so fleshed out and real. And your portrayal of the ward structures is fantastic.
    Thank you for sharing.

  10. Took me by surprise again! Lovely!

  11. Totally adorable, loved this shorty.

  12. “Not even the ugly dress part?” *snort* Awesome! Thank you.

  13. That was just gorgeous! Dumbles certainly didn’t see *that* coming. LOL This was bite-sized and truly satisfying…yummy, and I loved your casting, too.

    Thanks for sharing, Keira. 🙂

  14. Oh gosh, I agree with one of the above comments-Harry running around singing ugly dress ugly dress Santa in a ugly dress!! Very nice!!!

  15. I have to agree with everyone else, that was delightful. I don’t know which was better, Dumbledore’s or Vernon’s verbal smackdown.

  16. This was absolutely beautiful. An amuse-bouche of a story. Just a taste, yet still satisfying. One of the best alternate sibling raises harry stories I’ve read yet.

    Thanks for posting it.

  17. I ADORE this!! I’d LOVE to see more of Iris!!

  18. Holy fuck, I *loved* this.

  19. I’ve enjoyed all the shorts, but this *has* to be my favourite. The idea is perfect for the short story form – everything is said that needs to be said, and the reader is left to imagine what the future will be like for Harry, Dumbledore and the world. To say nothing of poor Neville!

    • I think this is wonderful … Albus gets his comeuppance and has no idea just what he’s up against. This is such a great beginning. It would be lovely to see shorts like this at various times in Harry’s future.

  20. That was awesome

  21. Awesome. Thank you for sharing

  22. This is great! I love it! Just exactly what Harry needs in his life, a strong mother figure in his life.

  23. Oh, I LIKE this one!

  24. This was a neat and funny story. As the others have said, the “ugly dress” part was hilarious.

  25. She ‘s a really awesome lady !

  26. That was really good, very good and I was quite disappointed when it ended. Oh too learn more about this sister and the way she would have brought up Harry.

    Take care. K xxx

  27. hahahahahaha I loved every word of this! Iris rocks! 🙂

  28. This was was awesome thanks so much ❤️

  29. Loved this short story, wish I did have the million to give you

  30. Iris is extremely kickass. Love how she takes charge of everything.

  31. I enjoyed the way you melded the two worlds. Thanks for sharing.

  32. Love this! Thank you for sharing!

  33. Total Badass!

  34. Wow, what a great and optimistic outlook for Harry’s future… just perfect 🙂

    And OMG, I almost peed myself laughing over the bloody asshole in an ugly dress part! Way to go, Keira! And thanks, btw, I really needed a laugh today 🙂

  35. This is just a perfect little nugget of awesome. You even gave her a flower name! Quite a shock to old Dumbles, huh? Loved the ugly dress bit!

  36. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I needed that laugh…. I’m going to have that stuck in my head all day now… ugly dress… ugly dress…. lol

  37. This was great! Thank you.

  38. I really enjoyed this one!

  39. Love it when someone smacks down Dumbledore – it doesn’t happen in canon, but your HP is better than canon (sorry, JK!) It probably helps that you’re writing for adults, rather than kids, but whatever the reason, your HP is MY canon.

  40. I’m always so impressed with how vividly you portray the worlds you play in and the ease with which you combine different fandoms. You make your characters fantastically real and leave me waiting for the next thing! Great job as always 🙂

  41. bwaaa hahahaha

  42. Oh, Dumbledore. You have no idea what you’re in for if you mess with Iris! This is LOVELY and makes me cackle, because Dumbledore deserves all the aggravation. Seriously, the attitude he’s “a good man who makes mistakes” is just ARGH!

  43. I loved this so much there are no words. Thank you for sharing!

  44. Absolutely wonderful!

  45. I love this so much!

  46. This was great, love this so much Thank You for all you share with us.

  47. Your short shorts are all perfect little gems.

  48. Iris is such a bamf! And I love the idea of a guide being able to intact with more intelligent wards! Was that a completely original idea for this character prompt fic, or had it been used elsewhere in your work or general HP/Sentinel fandom? Regardless, this was absolutely wonderful and I adored every word of it!

  49. Very nice story thank you for sharing it.

  50. I love Iris 🙂 She is BAMF ;p

  51. Fabulous! Like a previous commenter I find I am at a loss to understand quite how Dumbles can remain so beloved a character, given what JKR actually had him do (i.e. without adding any fandom re-imagining). As a result, I find I do very much enjoy seeing him thwarted and this story is no exception. Thank you!

  52. That was lovely. I really enjoyed it. I am a little sad for Petunia and her self esteem issues… But Iris and Harry were lovely.
    Keep it up

  53. Loved this. What a clever idea! Yay for a Harry that will have the not have to grovel for any sense of self worth.

  54. My Goodness! How I loved this.

  55. I love it! Iris & this story put a huge grin on my face. 😀

  56. “Not even the ugly dress part?” I snorted tea all over the table! Epic. Thank you for sharing these shorts.

  57. SO GOOD! Love it.

  58. Loved this! I love your writing and love the shorts you’ve shared. This is my favourite short so far! Go Iris!

  59. I’m rolling around in a big ball of glee feels right now. Thanks for posting; this was fantastic!

  60. This was amazing. Loved your Iris. 🙂

  61. you are so creative . i love your stories so much

  62. Love Iris! Thank-you 🙂

  63. Oh I like this new aunt. And this Harry will be in a much better place when he finally meets Hermione and Draco.

  64. Oh, that is lovely and different than anything I have ever read. Thank you for posting it.

  65. ❤️

  66. Love the idea of Lily having an awesome older sister who takes no crap from Dumbledore (lol…my thoughts are that Sirius is her Sentinel, and she makes the Magical World burn for what they did to him, once she finds him.)

  67. I will never feel anything but love for anything that smashes Dumbles’ arrogance and leaves him stunned and impotent. 😉

  68. This is so great and I loved the idea of an eldest sister coming in and saving Harry from the awful uncle & aunt AND Dumdorkble whatever his name is! haha!

    And I liked the little mention of Guide in this story as well! Just beatuiful!

  69. he he love it! ugly dress especially

  70. Oh, I adore this in all the most unreasonable ways!!!

  71. I love Iris.

  72. I know I almost never comment, but this fic inspired me. This was a lovely idea and I completely enjoyed reading/imagining the Vernon and Dumbledore dressing downs (they totally earned them). I also greatly liked your character and the actress chosen works so well! I usually (read nearly always) hate original characters in fanfiction. (Which is kind of funny (read awful) because all fiction starts with original characters and I don’t generally hate characters in new fiction stories.) I can only think of two or three fanfiction authors (of which you are number one) who regularly produce original characters for their fics that I do not grudgingly stand but rather quite enjoy. It seems to be a very rare talent in the Fandom community. Congratulations on mastering a difficult skill.

  73. Love the art, too!

  74. I adored every second of this. Thank you for sharing.

  75. I loved Iris. The way she dealt with both Vernon and Dumbledore was brilliant.

    Is there any chance of seeing her in any other Harry Potter fics that you may write in the future? (By future fics, I don’t mean a sequel for this fic. I know there will be no sequel for this fic.)

  76. I’m all for sassing Dumbles on a regular basis. Thanks so much for sharing. You’re a rockstar! 😀

  77. That was so much fun. Thank you!

  78. This was great. Thank you for sharing!

  79. A very interesting one shot, hopefully you will find the muse to expand on it one day.

  80. So true- he is an arsehole in an ugly dress 😀
    Wonderfull work.

  81. utterly wonderful, adore Iris
    thank you

  82. Just like many of the characters you’ve created, you’ve created a jewel with Iris.
    Thanks for posting this response.
    I can so see Harry using ‘ugly dress’ as a level of awful and horrible in upcoming years and only Iris would understand.

  83. Can I have an Iris? I’d like an Iris. She kicks ass. Great story! Thanks for sharing!

  84. Love it! Iris is fantastic. Really enjoying the Big Short.

  85. What a clever alternative for Harry, who will grow up much happier and healthier.
    And the ugly dress!

  86. This is brilliant – I love it all, particularly how Iris wrong-foots Dumbledore so easily! Thanks for sharing.

  87. and just like that I fell in love with another of our works.
    loved how Iris deals with Dumbledore.

  88. Oh Wow, I absolutely loved this. You have written a totally wonderful original character in Iris, I loved the way that she dealt with the Dursleys and Dumbledore.
    Thank you so much for sharing this story.

  89. I love it. Iris is an amazing characting and i love how she was with Dumbledore and Vernon.

  90. greywolfthewanderer

    Iris kicks ass!! love everything about this, ’tis beautifully done!

  91. Great story. Iris is badass!

  92. Absolutely lovely! I continue to be amazed by your fantastic writing

  93. This is totally awesome! Love it!

  94. Oh! This was loads of fun! Thanks for sharing.


  95. I can’t say enough about how much I loved this story. The fact that it’s a short story and still so full of all this imagery and backstory makes it even more incredible. Thanks.

  96. How did I miss this?!?!? So glad I found it though, it was most EXCELLENT! I love fics where Dumbles get put in his place, or doesn’t get away with his shit. You, dear woman are an expert at writing such fics! I’m even more impressed by how much you managed to squeeze in here, even with an economy of words. ALL the kudos to YOU!!! 🙂

  97. Love this and hugging it close and snuggling it because Iris makes me happy and Dumbledore is an asshat!

  98. I adore Mary-Louise Parker and having her be Harry’s aunt (and a Guide!) is brilliant! This is a delightful gem of a story.

  99. WOW!! just WOW!!

  100. This is a gem of a story. Another reader commented that they didn’t understand how canon Dumbledore could maintain his saintly reputation and I agree. I’m kind of ashamed of myself that it took me 3 books to see how wrongwrongwrongwrongWRONG he behaved and what depraved behaviour he routinely enabed and encouraged. By book 5 I prefered fanfiction to canon and only read the books as reference material. Your Iris and her outsider POV highlighted everything any sane responsible adult person should have seen intead of falling for the twinkle. Thank you so much for gifting us with such a wonderful story.

  101. I loved this…It is totally fresh and original!!

  102. This was great! Thank you for sharing!

  103. An arsehole in an ugly dress. I laughed so hard. I love the idea of an online Guide as Harry’s guardian; just imagine the amount of BS such a person could slice through! Love it.

  104. i love her. she is so wonderful. i totally have a crush on her now. thank you for the short.

  105. I enjoyed this thoroughly. Just as it should have been. 😀

  106. Yummy, great story. I don’t usually read shorts but yours are wonderful.

  107. Loved this!
    Thank you

  108. Oh this was… amazing. Every time I start to wonder if I’ll find any more interesting Harry Potter fics, you continue to come through and bash my idgit head into the ground and show me what’s possible. I love it! Thank you so much for writing this. 😀 You write such beautifully intricate vengeful pieces, even the ‘shorter’ pieces.

  109. HeHeHe I loved this one!!! Thanks for sharing your talents with us little minions!!!!!

  110. Oh man; you REALLY know how to let people have it!! I totally cracked up laughing at her reaction to Dumb-ass-dore….. *EVIL GRIN*

  111. lovely

  112. That. Was. Awesome!

  113. So lovely and satisfying to read.

  114. Ooh! Iris is feisty! It’s clear where Harry gets his snarkiness from…
    This is a great story! Thanks for sharing it!

  115. This was awesome. Thank you. 🙂

  116. This was great! I would love to read more in this universe.

  117. Is this fic complete? The complete was written next to word count. So I was hoping for more. Please let me know if my hope is silly.

  118. Oh, NICE! If only, right?

  119. I come back to read this every once in a while just to imagine Iris’ reaction to Hogwarts events if he goes there or Dumbledore’s if he doesn’t. Iris having fun eviscerating Dumbledore and Fudge if Harry got put in the tournament is a favorite. Your characters are so well done that this is possible after a short fic. You’re just awesome like that. Oh, also thank you for your hilarious responses to requests for more. I apologize if I’ve ever done that. I think most readers think it’s encouraging or complimentary and not pressuring but I’ve learned better now.

  120. Can you please turn this into a series? Cause it’s awesome.

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