Reading Time: 113 Minutes

Title: Shattered
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationship: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Brief Evan Buckley/OMC
Genre: Romance, Time Travel, Soulmates, Magical Realism
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Canon Typical Violence, Canon Typical Angst, Temporary Character Death, Character Bashing, Minor Character Death, Discussion-Suicide, Discussion-Abortion, Discussion-Coerced Abortion, Discussion-Drug Abuse, Discussion-Murder, Discussion-Domestic Violence, Discussion-Abuse, Permanent Injury (Not within my pairing), No Beta
Author Note: I divorced the beta process. My decision isn’t up for debate, and your nitpicking is undesired. I won’t be polite if you violate my boundaries. The word “witch” is a gender-neutral term. Do not get bent around the axle about its use in this story, and comment about it. The Buck/OMC relationship is just sex. Don’t stress it. Sometimes a person just needs to get laid. Not Chimney Han friendly—don’t like, don’t read.
Word Count: 61,912
Summary: Evan Buckley lost everything by degrees. When he gets the chance to try again, he accepts a burden for himself and for the future of his bloodline. In the end, nothing seems like too much if he gets Eddie and Christopher back.

Casting Available

* * * * *

Translations:

Abuela – grandmother
Abuelita – granny
Mijo – son
Nieto – grandson
Dios – God
Ay Dios mío – Oh my God
Cariño – honey, dear, sweetie

Chapter 1

November 2024

“You look good.”

“I look like shit,” Buck corrected and ignored the way tears welled in his sister’s eyes. He stood from the couch where he’d been most of the morning and picked up the cup full of cold tea so he could make more tea he probably wouldn’t drink. “Tea?”

“I’m fine,” Maddie said quietly. “Buck, I’ve found a specialist…someone who thinks they can suppress your soulmate mark. She thinks it will stop you from fading.”

Buck grimaced as he turned on the kettle then pulled out the tea and the ridiculous dinosaur-shaped diffuser that Christopher had picked out for him just a few months before Eddie was killed. He filled it as Maddie paced around behind him.

“Eddie’s parents called me again. They’re threatening to sue you for the fifth time,” Maddie said quietly. “They’re still furious that you put Christopher up for adoption and hid him from them.”

“They’re toxic pieces of shit who suppressed their son’s soulmate mark when he was a baby,” Buck snapped. He was sick and tired of having the same argument with his sister. “Which is illegal as fuck, child abuse, and so outright goddamned disgusting that the judge presiding over the last court proceeding they forced me into was physically ill over it. They can threaten me all the want, but I’m never telling them where Christopher is. He’s as happy as he can be, and he’s safe.”

“You took him away from everyone!” Maddie exclaimed. “Isabel refuses to discuss it because she’s so hurt.”

“It was Isabel’s idea,” Buck said flatly and stared pointedly when Maddie gaped at him. “Because protecting Christopher from Helena and Ramon is more important than how either of us feel. Eddie trusted me to make the best possibly choices for Chris, and that’s what I’ve done. I’ve made sure he is safe, and Chris will have all of his dreams come true.” He poured water over the T-Rex and smiled briefly as steam trailed out of the diffuser’s mouth. “At this point, his happiness is the only thing that matters.”

“And the rest of us?” Maddie questioned. “Do you care at all how much it’s going to hurt us that you’ve just given up and decided to die? You won’t even discuss suppression seriously!”

He focused on her. “I had my soulmate mark suppressed by a specialist three weeks after Eddie was killed on the job.” Her mouth dropped open. “Do you honestly fucking think that I would leave Christopher if I had a choice? There’s no one that matters more to me than that kid.” Buck rubbed his sternum as his irritation grew. “But honestly, Maddie, this is none of your business. You made your position perfectly clear over a year ago.”

“You’re not the one getting bombarded by Eddie’s parents!” Maddie shouted. “They call me every day!”

Buck shrugged. “Block them, change your number, or get a restraining order. Trust me, neither one of those assholes actually wants to be arrested again.” He removed the T-Rex and set it in the sink to deal with later.

“So, you’re just going to….” Maddie took a deep breath. “Maybe the suppression wasn’t done properly. Eddie’s was clearly botched, or you wouldn’t have a withering bond.”

Withering bond.

“The suppression on Eddie’s mark was eroding because he was spending so much time with his soulmate,” Buck said wearily. “This is why I don’t like you to come here, you know. You just keep hammering on this crap like I have any choice in it.” He put a bit of honey in his tea and took a deep breath. “Listen, you shouldn’t visit anymore. I’ve arranged for a home health service to come over and check on me once a day. It’s best if they find me after it’s done.”

“Evan.” Maddie’s breath hitched. “I can’t…please. You just can’t give up.”

“I’m fading,” Buck said flatly. “And that withering bond you just spoke so casually of can’t be removed or suppressed. Despite all of that romantic crap you’ve been reading about fading, it’s not a choice.” He sat back down. “I’ve made the funeral arrangements already. Athena has the details, and she’s the executor of my will. The house is to be sold, and the proceeds put into the living trust I’ve established for Christopher.”

“Athena knows where he is,” Maddie said flatly.

“I trust Athena,” Buck returned and shrugged when Maddie gaped at him. “At this point, she’s the only one I trust to adhere to my wishes. She’s the one that has respected my decisions and autonomy in all of this. I’ll be buried next to Eddie. That’s for Christopher, so I expect you to respect that choice and not argue with it. Don’t even try to get me to put in the family plot next to Daniel like your parents want.”

“Our parents.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “They weren’t interested in being my parents at all until they found out I was dying. It’s like they’re reliving Daniel’s death and actually fucking enjoying it. They aren’t welcome at my funeral, either.”

“This whole situation has made you cruel,” Maddie said quietly. “I don’t know how to handle this or deal with the choices you’ve made, Evan. It’s like I don’t matter to you at all.”

Buck shrugged. “Visit Chim lately?” He watched her flinch and avert her gaze. “Right.”

“He’s mentally ill,” Maddie said.

“Mentally ill, sure, but not criminally insane. So, he knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t fucking care.” He frowned when tears welled in her eyes, and he looked away from her.

“It was a mistake, Buck.”

“He got Eddie killed because he was pissed at me,” Buck returned. “The district attorney believed it so much that she filed charges against him, and a jury convicted him. He’s in jail for manslaughter. It should be murder as far as I’m concerned.” He waved a hand. “Whatever. Go ahead and support the man that killed Eddie and me.”

Buck didn’t think about Howard Han often because it would just make rage storm around in his chest, and he had no outlet for it. When Eddie died during a rescue in a collapsed building, Buck believed it was an accident made out of arrogance. Then the department had decided to investigate it and had discovered that Chim had overtly ignored several safety issues at the scene and had ordered them both into a part of the building the battalion chief had declared off-limits earlier in the day. Buck had survived the second collapse, but Eddie hadn’t.

“He was emotionally compromised,” Maddie said. “And upset that we were arguing because he’d hit you. I should’ve been more understanding, and you should’ve just forgiven him. You knew he wasn’t in his right mind.”

“He never even tried to apologize,” Buck murmured. “Never once owned up to the fact that he hit me in my own home for keeping your secret. A secret that was basically nothing. He was just mad that you called me and not him. Emotionally compromised is a good term for what he was—obsessed with you would be a better way of describing it. He tried to ruin my life to punish me for refusing to ignore his abusive behavior, and even now, you’re enabling that bullshit narrative.”

“He lost control and made a terrible mistake.”

Buck took a deep breath. “You can leave, Maddie. And for the record, I’d rather you didn’t show up at my funeral either.” He paused. “Also, just as a head’s up, the DA has pending charges against Chimney for my death as well. He’ll probably get another ten years, so you should move on. Waiting twenty years for that asshole to get out of jail doesn’t seem healthy.”

“It’s not Chim’s fault you’ve given up!” Maddie shouted.

“No, it’s his fault for murdering my soulmate in his efforts to get me permanently injured and removed from the job out of revenge,” Buck said evenly. “And I hope he dies in prison. At the very least, Jee deserves to have a life free of him.” He waved a hand. “Get more therapy, Maddie. You really need it.”

“I won’t come again,” Maddie said quietly. “I don’t want to remember you like this, Evan.”

“Great,” Buck said. “That’s for the best.” He turned his head because watching her leave for what he knew was the final time didn’t seem like the best choice he could make for his own sake.

Buck walked out onto the back porch and stared at the small backyard. Staying in Eddie’s house had been one choice that no one agreed with, not even Isabel, but Buck couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in his final days. It was really all he had left of his soulmate since Christopher was in Maryland with Hen, Karen, and Denny Wilson. Hen had chosen to go north for her residency after finishing medical school.

To keep up appearances, Buck and Hen had argued several times viciously in public, so no one would expect that he’d ever consider placing Christopher with the Wilsons. Then, after Chim’s trial, he’d taken Chris to Maine, and they’d arranged a private adoption that only Athena knew about. The core of Bobby’s shift had been destroyed by Chim’s actions, and Bobby had ended up transferring to a different station entirely after Buck had been disabled off the job due to fading.

He took a sip of his tea and considered calling Chris, but they’d had a great FaceTime call earlier in the week, and maybe it was best that it be their last call. Buck’s energy had been up, and he’d been well rested. He’d recorded a bunch of videos, which he’d given to Karen so that Christopher would have something from him on future birthdays if she felt it would be healthy for him to have them. The gesture felt empty and not nearly enough, but it was all he had left.

“Well, Eds, I think this is probably it for me,” Buck took a deep breath. “I’m really fucking sorry I couldn’t do what you asked. It would’ve been my profound honor to take care of your son all of my life. I regret not telling you how I felt, and not just because it’s clear now that you felt the same. You deserved to know how much I love you.”

A familiar warmth pressed briefly against his back, and a hand curled over the top of his. Buck took a deep breath and blinked back tears because it had been almost two years since he’d felt Eddie’s hand in his. He turned his own hand over, and invisible fingers laced with his.

“Thanks for coming,” Buck murmured. “I…I’d do anything to have a second chance, but even this is more than I expected to get.”

Eddie squeezed his hand gently and tugged. Buck allowed himself to be led back into the house and into the master bedroom. He put aside his tea and laid down on the bed, then shuddered just a little as he was gathered closely in an embrace he’d longed for since Eddie had died.

He closed his eyes and let go.

* * * *

“Did it help?”

Buck looked around but saw nothing. He’d never really bought into the whole heaven thing, but he hadn’t expected a void. How was the human soul supposed to endure such a thing for eternity? “Where’s Eddie?”

“It’s just you and me. Did it help?”

“Did what help?” Buck questioned.

“Eddie wanted to be with you in your last moments; it seemed like the least I could do.”

“Yes.” Buck closed his eyes, heart aching. “That was real, then? Is this real?”

“Yes, to both. But that’s relative, I suppose. Reality is merely how you perceive your experiences.”

“Who are you?” Buck questioned.

“Within a mortal’s understanding, I am Fate.”

Buck considered that. “What are you by your own understanding?”

She laughed. “Interesting question and not one I’m asked often. I’m everything.”

A cool wind drifted around him, and a figure appeared in front of him. He watched flimsy blue material swirl around the person. “Everything, huh? Like a god?” He paused. “The god?”

A face formed, and she shrugged. “Something like that. I play many roles in the lives of your kind.”

“What did I do wrong?” Buck questioned. “I thought…I’d get to be with Eddie.”

“Oh, Evander, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Fate said. “You were kind, generous, and selfless in the life you were given. You forgave when most wouldn’t have. You gave of yourself time and time again when others didn’t care to. You loved with your whole heart, even those who didn’t deserve it. You had faith even in your darkest moments. And you made a beautiful and traumatic sacrifice to make sure your son was safe and happy. Don’t you know how most would’ve clung to him until the very last moment?”

“Eddie’s son,” Buck corrected quickly.

“Your son,” Fate said firmly. “In every single way that matters. You were meant to be in his life just as much as you were his father’s. Don’t you see? It was always my design that you’d make a family with Eddie and Christopher.”

“I wish things could’ve been different,” Buck murmured. “Do I get to be with Eddie now?”

“What if I gave you a second chance?”

Buck stared for a moment, stilling the urge to immediately agree to whatever Fate wanted if he got Eddie and Christopher back. “What’s the catch?”

“Clever,” Fate said and patted his face. “No one ever asks that.” She paused. “Well, there was that one time, and he was such a pain in the ass, honestly. You give a man a chance to save a whole entire world, and he acts like it’s a problem.”

“I guess that guy saved the world,” Buck said.

“He will,” Fate responded. ‘Time is merely a matter of perception, you know.”

“Is it?” Buck questioned but shook his head when she opened her mouth to speak. “Please don’t tell me. I’ll obsess for eternity.”

She hummed and made a disgruntled face at him. “What do you know about magic?”

“Soulmate marks and small gifts are all that really remains of magic on Earth,” Buck said, repeating what he’d been told all of his life without thinking about it.

“Is it?” Fate asked, and Buck hesitated.

“I….” He inclined his head. “What do you know about magic?”

“Magic is old and tired on your world. I’ve come upon a solution.” She poked him in the chest. “And I’m going to start with you.”

“Not the guy that has to save the world?” Buck questioned. “Sounds like he might need it more.”

“Well, I’m not going to get that guy if you don’t get yourself back down there and live your life,” Fate said huffily. “He’s your many greats grandson.”

“I’d like to lodge a complaint on his behalf then,” Buck said firmly. “That’s a huge burden, and no one needs that kind of pressure. You’ve clearly got time to figure something out.”

“He’s what I figured out,” Fate said and crossed her arms. “His brave soul is exactly what this world needs. He will be a shining star in his generation and has a legacy…that reaches out beyond this world to places where none of your kind has ever gone before.”

Buck mirrored her posture and stared back at her. “I’m beginning to think I don’t have a choice. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for him?”

“Just…live a good life, love without reserve, and pass along a profound respect for the magic you will carry forward in your family line.”

Buck took a deep breath. “Do I have to give up Eddie and Christopher? Because I….”

“No, as I said, you were meant to make a family with them.” She held up a hand. “You faded because you had an incomplete bond. If you’d bonded properly, you could’ve survived his death. In fact, in his last moments, his bond energy would’ve become yours so that you would survive his loss. You’d have carried a complete bond inside of you until the day you died at a very old age. That is how soulmate magic should work. The suppression of his soulmate mark corrupted the magic that manifested between you.”

“How do we unlock his soulmate mark?”

“You’ll carry all the magic you need to make that situation a non-issue. The suppression will be eradicated. I won’t allow any other circumstance,” she said. “Everything will be better when you meet again.”

“Meet again,” Buck said. “You’re going to send me back in time. When?” He exhaled sharply because he didn’t want to make that choice.

“I’ve already decided the when,” Fate said. “But first, will you bear Hekate on my behalf? Will you carry her your whole life and pass that duty onto a descendent when the time is right?”

“He’ll need Hekate then…to save the world,” Buck murmured. “Right?”

“Right, and it’s best for everyone involved if she is thoroughly entrenched in your family line when it happens. He’s going to need all the help he can get.”

“Can I make changes?” Buck questioned.

She shrugged. “Just remember that you can’t defy me, Evander Buckley.”

“Okay, Mom,” Buck said and rolled his eyes.

Her gaze narrowed. “Sorry about her, by the way. There’s ancient magic in her line, so she had to be your mother. Tell her and that asshole she’s married to fuck off sooner rather than later, and don’t let any of them gaslight you about Daniel or your childhood.”

“And Maddie?” Buck questioned.

“The best thing you can do is make sure she never meets Howard Han.”

“What about Jee?” He couldn’t stand the idea that his niece might never exist.

“Your sister has a destiny of her own and will have that child—a different name won’t matter at all. When you see the child, you’ll see the soul of the little girl you’ve already met,” Fate promised.

“Okay.” Buck nodded. “Does doing good mean I can’t kill Doug Kendall?”

Fate huffed. “You’ll get caught, dumbass.”

“Wow, you’re so rude,” Buck complained, not that he really wanted to kill Doug. He just wanted a permanent solution that didn’t involve Maddie having to kill her own husband in self-defense.

“Magic will help you get rid of him,” Fate said. “But you must do nothing overt regarding that situation. Understood?” She poked him in the chest. “You don’t have the soul for that kind of thing, and you already know it.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Buck said and took a deep breath. “It isn’t like I wish I was a stone-cold killer, but I want to protect her. I want to….”

“Save her from herself,” Fate said. “Because that’s what it boils down to. She doesn’t think she deserves better.”

“That’s got Phillip and Margaret’s A-plus parenting written all over it,” Buck muttered. “Can I see Eddie before I go?”

“No, I’m sorry,” Fate said gently. “It’s best that you don’t. It’ll make it harder to do what must be done.”

Buck blinked back tears and averted his gaze. “Okay.”

She held out her hands, and a shining orb appeared in front of her. “Once magic spread out all over the world, encouraging life to grow and change. It thrived in the embrace of humanity for many thousands of years. But, the more advanced mankind became, the more they turned away from magic. Before long, her influence diminished, and eventually, humans only acknowledged soulmate marks and the little gifts that remained. Even that is starting to fade away. She is very tired and can no longer be sustained on her own. She needs a refuge and the unique influence that only a human soul can provide, Evander.”

Buck reached out and took the orb from Fate with steady hands. The orb brightened in his grasp, and he nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He brought the orb to his chest and pressed. Magic sank into him with a sweep of sparks. “Weird.”

“Carrying Hekate doesn’t make you invincible, but she will protect you in every single way she can,” Fate said. “Good luck, Evander Buckley.”

 

 

 

Chapter 2

“Did you get her number?”

Buck blinked, and horror shimmied down his spine as he turned to see Chimney standing behind him. Out of all the times and places he could’ve landed…. Fate was a real heifer. “Who?”

“The woman that was throwing herself at you this morning,” Chim said.

“Which one?” Buck asked because he really didn’t remember since it had been years. He watched Hen grin and walk toward the kitchen area of the loft.

“You’re ridiculous,” Chim muttered.

Buck slid a hand into his pocket and pulled out a few slips of paper. “Do you remember her name? I’ve got…Sophie, Marty, and Caro.” He frowned and tried to place them. He had a good memory, so it wasn’t like he was drawing a complete blank. He’d definitely banged one of them the first time around, so that helped. “I think Caro was at the car accident this morning. Sophie…is the barista at the Starbucks down from my house; she gives me her number once or twice a month. Marty….”

“Next-door neighbor of the stroke victim, she called it in,” Hen said.

“Oh, right,” Buck said and tossed all three numbers in the trash can next to the sink. “So, if you were talking about one of those women, then yes, I got her number.” He went to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

Pulling out this phone, he walked across the loft and dropped down on the sofa near the TV. He checked the date.

November 2, 2017

He closed his eyes briefly as he considered the date. Roughly four weeks after he’d gotten temporarily fired for fucking around. The Astros were about to win the World Series. That gave him pause as he considered something really shady. Sports betting online was a super gray area, and he’d never done it, but he needed the financial means to make choices to protect his family going forward. The odds were decent, and he could use his entire personal savings; he could make over 30,000 dollars in just a few hours with a shady bet with an off-shore gambling site.

Buck waffled for a few seconds before he logged into his banking app and transferred his savings into an account attached to a debit card he only used for online purchases. Then he went to a site he’d visited once or twice in the other timeline to goof off and bet everything he had on the World series. His gut tightened as he confirmed the bet. It wasn’t as reckless as it could’ve been because he knew he had a little over 200,000 in his trust fund. He checked his email to make sure his bet was confirmed, then closed the site.

A cursory look at his texts let him know he was already flirting with Abby, which was infuriating because he would have liked to have avoided that situation turning into anything romantic. He’d already failed to save Devon, which made his heart hurt a little. The viral shit had already happened, which meant that sad bastard in that trailer was probably already using his name and picture to catfish people.

Buck opened up his browser again and did a search on his own name. Fortunately, the only thing that seemed to show up was his own social media accounts. He vaguely remembered something about MySpace, but he’d never had an account there. He wondered how to handle that and made several notes about it in an email he sent himself.

“You aren’t going to call her?”

Buck made a face and focused on Chim, who’d apparently regrouped enough to continue on his mission to involve himself in someone else’s sex life. “No, I’m not.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not a good idea for hook-ups to know where I work,” Buck said easily. “I can get laid easily, so there is no point in trolling for ass on calls. I don’t make the same mistake twice.” He turned his attention back to his phone and started an email to the PR rep from the department that had been calling him ever since he went viral and asked her about getting his Instagram verified.

“You’re a real piece of work,” Chim muttered.

Buck lowered his phone, gaze narrowing. “What?”

Chim waved a hand even as Hen cleared her throat. “Don’t you think you should try to have a real relationship? It must be hard not having a soulmate mark, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get serious about someone. That woman from this morning seemed nice—she’s a lawyer. That could be the future mother of your children, you know. But you’d rather…fuck around.”

Buck didn’t and never had discussed his soulmate mark status with anyone. He hadn’t even discussed it with Eddie the first time around, and he regretted that part immensely. “Well, first and foremost, my sex life is absolutely none of your business. I am honest and incredibly careful with all of my partners. I’ll settle down when I’m ready, and in the meantime, I can take getting laid on as a hobby if I want. I’m twenty-six years old and fit as hell. Also, the slut-shaming is getting old fast. I try to keep in mind that you’re a different generation, and we just don’t have the same perspective on things, but you really need to lay off me.”

“Different generation?” Chimney repeated in shock.

“You’re in your late forties, right?” Buck questioned. “You’ve gotta be at least twenty years older than me. So yeah, of course, we’re not in the same generation. I take comfort in the fact that at least you’re not a boomer.” He sighed dramatically and focused on his phone as Hen started laughing.

“At least I know better than to fuck on the job,” Chim muttered.

Buck finished his email and hit send as he considered how to respond to that. “If you’ve got a problem with the fact that I didn’t stay fired, you should talk to Bobby about it. It was his decision, after all.” He focused on Chim and found the older man glaring at him. “Why are you like this? Who hurt you? Did you get bullied in elementary school or something? Maybe you should see a therapist so you can work on your trauma.”

He opened up another email because that reminded him of Dr. Wells, and he might as well get that ball rolling. He needed the money. Buck paused at that mercenary thought but then dismissed it because the woman was a predator and guilty of medical malpractice, and making her insurance company compensate him for her disgusting behavior had bought him the loft the first time around.

“How would you like to get written up for being insubordinate?” Chim demanded roughly.

“How would you like to get called into HR to explain slut-shaming me since the first day I started working here?” Buck questioned evenly in return and watched Chim’s mouth drop open. “And how would you go about writing me up for not appreciating your inappropriate interest in my sex life? You only get to pretend to be captain when Bobby’s not on duty. You’re not even an engineer. I actually did pay attention in the academy, you know. The rank structure in the LAFD is bizarrely flat, and the only other person in this place on shift with legit rank besides Bobby is Cosmo because he’s a firefighter engineer. Which means, when Bobby’s not here, Cosmo should be in charge.”

Cosmo made a rude noise from his place in front of the TV. “I only agreed to work this shift as long as I wouldn’t be put in charge of you assholes outside of a real emergency. Bobby going to the fucking store doesn’t equal an emergency.”

“It might,” Buck said. “Especially if they’re out of broccoli rabe, again.”

Cosmo set aside his controller and stood. “But he’s not wrong about the rank, Chim. Leave Buckley alone and lay off the slut-shaming. It’s gross and uncalled for. If I was younger, that pretty, and that single—I’d be getting a leg over as often as possible.”

Buck grinned. “You think I’m pretty, Cos?”

“You know what you look like,” Cosmo said wryly. “Also, Chim, don’t bring up someone’s soulmate status on the job again. That shit can get you fired. There was a whole damn seminar on it last year, remember?”

Chim glared at Cosmo briefly and walked away. Buck knew that the man was a problem, and he also knew that his own dislike of who and what Howard Han had become in the future was going to be difficult to mitigate.

Hen dropped down on the sofa. “Okay?”

“No,” Buck said honestly. “He’s creepily focused on my sex life, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I realize I made a dumb ass mistake and that I’m lucky to get a second chance. Chim acts like that’s given him free rein to…berate me like a child when honestly, it’s none of his damned business at all.”

She blinked in clear surprise but then nodded slowly. “I’ll speak with him. It probably wasn’t good to call him out in front of everyone, though.”

“So, he can slut-shame me in public, but I need to tell him to stop in private?” Buck questioned, and she reared back in clear shock. “Understood.”

“No…no, that’s…I’m sorry.” She stood and rubbed her head. “You’re right. He’s out of line.”

She walked away, and Buck focused on the email he was writing to HR about Dr. Wells. He wanted to be taken seriously, but he also didn’t want to put on some act about trauma because he hadn’t been all that upset about her grossly unprofessional behavior. But he had skipped out on additional therapy when he’d clearly needed it, and that was the real damage she’d caused. He sent the email off and checked his stock portfolio but didn’t make any changes because he needed to think before he went messing with his retirement. Being impulsive wouldn’t serve him, and he needed to keep that in mind.

There was one big thing he could do that he’d been avoiding for years, so he sent an email to his grandmother’s estate lawyer about the trust fund that had been set up by his maternal grandparents. He’d left it sitting until he was dying the first time around, then just transferred the whole of it into a living trust for Chris.

“Buck, come help with lunch.”

Buck looked up and saw Bobby heading toward the kitchen with a few bags. “Is that everything?”

“Yeah, I didn’t get much—the store was crowded, and I didn’t have the patience for it,” Bobby said and motioned toward the bag of vegetables overflowing on the counter. “Salad to start. Also, I need a fine dice on the potatoes.”

Buck finished his email quickly and tucked his phone away. “Sure.”

“You and Chim have an argument?”

Buck shrugged and washed his hands. “If that’s the story he’s telling.”

“That’s the word I got from Humphries in the parking lot,” Bobby said. “Hen has Chim cornered in the gym.”

“He was trying to lecture me about my sex life and personal choices, which is weird because he’s practically fifty and has never been married,” Buck muttered. “Regardless, I’m at my limit on the comments about where I put my…. Who I sleep with is none of his business. I’m honest with my partners, never use people, and practice safe sex. He just has this weird thing going on with women. Plus, he brought up the fact that he thinks I don’t have a soulmate mark.”

“Ah, well, your generation got less than ours…and the ones after you got even fewer. It’s sad to see that magic leaving.”

“Well, I have one,” Buck said in a low tone. “I just don’t talk about it.” He tapped the space over his heart when Bobby looked his way, and the older man gaped briefly in shock.

“A heart placement is…that speaks to reincarnation,” Bobby said.

“Yeah.” Buck flushed. “Regardless, it’s none of his business, and I’m tired of the comments. I don’t discuss my soulmate mark for a reason.”

“Understood,” Bobby said and squeezed his shoulder briefly. “But, honestly, kid, I’m so pleased for you. I can’t wait for it to happen.”

Buck laughed. “I’m sure they’ll breeze into my life when I’m least prepared for it; I’ll take one look and fall utterly in love. It’ll ruin my whole life.”

Bobby laughed. “Love does that.”

“Can I ask a question? It’s kind of…personal.”

“Sure,” Bobby agreed. “Don’t be upset if I can’t answer it.”

“Do you resent Marcy for finding her soulmate?” Buck questioned.

Bobby hesitated but then shook his head. “I did. I felt abandoned, honestly. We’d made all of our plans and a family. Brooke and Robbie were really upset when we divorced, and they still have issues with Paula despite the talks the three of us have had with them. In the end, the divorce made me face a lot of my issues and brought me to LA. I’m not miserable or anything. Why?”

“I just…avoid relationships because I don’t want to hurt someone a lot by….” Buck trailed off and shrugged. He glanced around the mostly empty loft and frowned. “It’s hard, you know. I’ve been talking with that dispatcher, Abby. But I think I shouldn’t. She seems like the kind of person who’d take things more seriously than I can allow. I know me well enough to know I’ll…well. I can’t see me ignoring my soulmate or the potential of such a relationship.”

“I get it,” Bobby said. “Well, not really, because I don’t have one, but I understand how hard it would be to ignore or reject. In the end, that’s why I can’t resent Marcy for the choices she made or the move here to LA. Even if the cost of living is stupid.”

“Right?” Buck said and huffed. “I’m in a room share, but it’s getting old fast.”

“Are they at least cleaning up after themselves?”

“Better than the last set I had. I moved into this current situation while I was at the academy with a couple of others taking classes. One ended up at the 56, and the other is at the 136; none of us work the same shift, so I always have the place to myself most of my days off which is great. We all agree that’s a feature, not a bug.” He grinned when Bobby laughed and moved a large bowl to the sink so he could wash the potatoes. “If Chim’s going to be a problem, I can…move to another shift even if it will ruin my empty house vibe.”

“No.” Bobby frowned as he shook his head. “You’re the only heavy rescue asset I have on the shift with confined space training, plus the rope rescue cert. Honestly, Buck, you were the golden ticket coming out of the academy because you focused so much on SAR certs. I’m still getting ugly emails over recruiting you because you were the only probie coming out of the academy with SARTECH II certification. I’ve my eye out for another like you, but I’m being patient about it. Regardless, if Chim can’t check himself, you won’t be the one on a new shift.”

“I could use a partner on my level,” Buck admitted and focused on scrubbing the potatoes. “Rogers is okay, though.”

He’d picked up the SARTECH II certification because he’d volunteered with SAR while he’d worked and lived in Colorado. Buck kind of figured it had been why his application to the academy had been approved so quickly.

Buck did a mental review of the calendar and tried to figure out if he could go to El Paso and Hersey in the same four days. It was unlikely, and his sister’s circumstances were dire. He had no idea what sort of condition she was in currently, and that was infuriating. A small part of him resented what had become of their relationship in the other timeline because she’d been so invested in one terrible bastard after another.

* * * *

He’d had far more busy shifts, but he was completely done by the time the shift change happened. Keeping up a front was difficult, and being around Chimney actually made him feel sick. He didn’t know how to handle the fury and grief that stirred in him at the sight of Howard Han. His selfish choices had cost him a lot the first time around, and he wasn’t sure how to mitigate all of it.

Buck pulled into the parking lot of his favorite coffee shop and took a deep breath. He needed more space than twenty-four hours allowed him. His next four-day off period would start on Tuesday. Which meant he had shifts on Saturday and Monday to get through before he got a big enough breather to work on himself. The thought was kind of agonizing. He picked up his phone and stared at it. Eddie had gotten a new phone number when he’d come to LA, so he couldn’t even call the man…not that he should because Eddie didn’t remember him.

Buck had never felt more alone in his entire life. He blinked back tears, and he slouched back against the seat as he browsed the gambling site and cashed out. He transferred all the money back into savings and took a deep breath to settle himself. Winning that bet had made the situation all the more real in his mind. It was very tangible proof. Not that he needed it, because he could feel Hekate moving around in his chest, still getting comfortable in his physical body. Plus, she’d grown warm and sort of irritated every single time Chimney came near him.

A cursory glance through his email netted him a response from HR and the demand for an immediate meeting. He grimaced as he considered that and checked his watch. He had gotten about eight hours of sleep in the early AM, so he was rested enough to make the 11AM appointment that had been preemptively scheduled. He sent off his agreement with a frown.

He probably should’ve waited a bit, but also, he’d gotten berated for waiting last time since Wells had managed to do a lot of damage to others after him. They couldn’t be for certain he was the first patient she slept with at the LAFD, but he was the one that apparently gave her the confidence to go all-in on the behavior. He tried not to think about that too much and didn’t blame himself for her other victims. All of that shit was entirely her fault.

He turned off the Jeep, snagged his iPad, and slid out, pocketing his keys. There was a very large coffee in his future, and that was only a small line of people away. He went in then used the app on his phone to order and pay. Most of the time, it sped things up, but he’d learned not to count on that. He waited at the counter for a few minutes and grabbed his coffee when his name was called. His favorite table was in the corner of the place—small with just two chairs and completely out of the way of the front door.

Buck sat with his iPad for several moments, heart thundering in his chest before he activated the Instagram app and looked up Eddie’s account. There were just a few public posts, which was as expected. Nearly all of Eddie’s posts were for family only. He stared at the selfie of Eddie in uniform for a few moments—it didn’t offer much information regarding his whereabouts. It was also almost two years old. A brief review of the math in his head told him that Eddie had been discharged from the Army for almost eighteen months.

On his own account, he took a selfie and uploaded it so he could write a post. It was kind of surreal that he had nearly a million followers. He hadn’t cultivated an audience on the platform the first time around, but he realized that he might need social leverage going forward with the department. Part of him thought that the department wouldn’t have let Bobby keep him off the job if he’d worked that part of the equation like he could’ve.

He started with a general update about having a long shift that was both kind of normal and exhausting at the same. Then to get out in front of the catfishing thing, he made it clear that he had no other social media accounts, and he did not send his followers DMs for any reason. Since neither his Grindr nor Tinder profiles had his real name on them, he mentioned specifically that he didn’t have accounts with those services with his real name or with his Instagram user name. Then he talked about catfishing and how important it was to make every effort to verify the identity of anyone that wanted to create a personal, real-world connection. Maybe it would scare the guy off using his name and face.

Buck figured the best way to cut the whole thing off before it got out of hand was to send in an anonymous report to Adult Protective Services because the man clearly needed help. He looked up the website and used the online form for mandated reporters to file an anonymous complaint for the situation he remembered in the trailer. Maybe it would get the guy a social worker assigned, at the very least.

He was irritated by the potentially abusive situation that catfishing was, but really, he just didn’t have time to deal with a bunch of women finding and berating him for shit he didn’t and wouldn’t do. Also, he’d rather avoid that sort of thing happening in front of the people he worked with again. It was harder to live down than getting temporarily fired. He browsed back to Eddie’s profile and stared for a few moments before he turned off the iPad entirely and sat back to drink his coffee.

* * * *

Eddie watched his son walk into school, heart pounding in his chest. He’d woken up to a strange old world, living a life he’d already lived once, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Distantly, he remembered dying, and that was horrifying. Getting Chris ready for school had taken the maximum amount of effort he had to offer because waking up in his old house in El Paso had been horrifying.

Part of him wanted to just dismiss it all as just a weird dream, but there was another part of him that was utterly in love with a man he’d never met that made that impossible. By the time he’d dropped Christopher off at school, he already had a list of things he knew he had to do as quickly as possible. His parents currently had no idea he was considering leaving El Paso, so they hadn’t made a surgical strike on that ability.

A week after Shannon left, his mother had talked him into moving his savings and his severance pay into an account at her bank in his name that she had access to. It had been an immense mistake because when he told his parents he was moving to LA, his mother had moved every single penny into a trust fund for Christopher that wouldn’t mature until he was eighteen. Eddie had no recourse because she’d made him the executor of the trust fund and because her name was on the account, so she hadn’t outright stolen anything from him. He remembered how fucking smug she’d been about it, and that was infuriating all over again.

The list of things he had to do to prevent his parents from making his life hell was growing by the minute, and that wasn’t even touching on the fact that his dream had told him that they’d suppressed his soulmate mark. He touched his chest and rubbed two fingers against his heart. Then did something he’d been putting off since he woke up. He pulled out his phone and browsed to Buck’s Instagram. The current picture was a selfie of Buck, looking young and fit, in a coffee shop. He read the content of his post and recognized a situation he’d been told about, but the whole catfishing thing had been mostly over by the time he joined the 118.

He browsed through the pictures that were available to the public and refrained from following him. If Buck didn’t remember…. Could soulmates share dreams? Even prophetic dreams? He didn’t know, but he was looking forward to finding out. Eddie saved a couple of the pictures because he couldn’t help himself, and several of them were hot as fuck. He was prepared to indulge himself even if he’d never admit it to anyone. Ever.

Eddie went to the bank because getting his money out from underneath his mother’s influence was important. Then, he’d have to deal with the house. The first time he’d left El Paso, his parents had talked Eddie into allowing his sister, Adriana, to rent it well below market value. Even then, she often forgot to pay him, and he had to remind her, which always resulted in a phone call from his mother bitching at him for harassing his sister about a few hundred dollars, which was bullshit since his sister was often three or four months behind on the rent.

He had to wait for an assistant manager, but once he was seated in front of someone who could do the work, a new account was created, all the money was moved, and the account he shared with his mother was closed out due to a zero balance. Eddie left the bank with a referral to a financial advisor, which he wouldn’t use since he was leaving El Paso as soon as fucking possible. But he made a note to get an advisor once he got to LA.

In the dream, he’d rented a moving pod and shipped it. It seemed like the best way to handle it again, so once he was home, he arranged for a pod to be delivered and logged into Facebook for the first time in over a year so he could find a woman he went to high school with. Jacy Graham had joined her parent’s real estate agency shortly after college, and Eddie trusted her, so it was a no-brainer to get her help on getting rid of the only financial tie he truly had in El Paso. He certainly wasn’t going to let his parents and sister screw him over with the house again.

After all of that was accomplished, Eddie called his abuela because he couldn’t think, and he needed her.

“Edmundo, is something wrong?”

Great intuition, Eddie thought and rubbed his eyes, which were stinging. “I had a dream.”

“A nightmare?” Isabel questioned.

“Parts of it were horrible,” Eddie murmured. “But it wasn’t like that…I…I need to talk to you about something, and I need your word that you won’t speak to my father about it.”

She hummed under her breath. “Of course, nieto, whatever you need.”

“I think Mom and Pop suppressed my soulmate mark.”

The silence was oppressive as fuck, and Eddie almost hung up. He didn’t know why because his abuela had always been his biggest supporter in the family. But if she knew and hadn’t told him, then it would be…an unbearable betrayal.

“You will come here as soon as you can. Pepa will be there this evening. I will make sure,” Isabel said stiffly. “Do not let them babysit Christopher, Edmundo. They aren’t safe.”

“When Christopher was born, my mother insisted on inspecting him for a mark,” Eddie said quietly. “Shannon protested it and wouldn’t even let my mom change his diaper for months. When he was six months old, my mom took him and gave him a bath when we weren’t looking. She was really pissy about the whole thing because he didn’t have a mark when he was born, and she said we should’ve just told her. Shannon screamed at her that it was none of her fucking business and threw them both out of the house.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “Shannon’s only stipulation in our separation agreement was that my parents couldn’t babysit him. She pays for any childcare I need.” He closed his eyes because he wanted to say that he didn’t need his aunt, but he desperately did. “I feel like they’ve ruined me.”

“You are not ruined!” Isabel huffed. “You will come here and be safe with me, Edmundo. Had I thought for a minute they would do such a thing, I would’ve taken you away from them when you were a baby.”

“Sophia has a soulmate mark,” Eddie said quietly. “Why suppress me and not her? Adriana is the favorite; maybe she wasn’t born with a mark.”

“Sophia was the only one of Ramon’s children born in a hospital. Her soulmate mark was documented on her birth certificate,” Pepa said, and Eddie realized his abuela had put him on speaker. “You and Adriana were both born at home with a midwife. They didn’t even tell us you were born until you were three weeks old. Where is your mark, Eddie?”

“I think it’s over my heart,” Eddie murmured. “In my dream, my soulmate…I dreamt about meeting my soulmate, and he became the best friend I ever had. He loved Chris like from the start and…I.” He took a deep breath. “So, I looked for him online, and he exists.”

“Dios.” Pepa cleared her throat, and Eddie could imagine her crossing herself. “They cannot suffer enough for such a thing. A mark across your heart is so special, Eddie. You’ve met this soul over and over again in one lifetime after another. To deny you such a thing…. We’ll need to find a specialist to help you once you’re here.”

“Okay,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “I don’t want my parents to know a thing about me leaving until it’s too late for them to try to sabotage it. I think…they’re going to try to take Chris from me. There’s been a lot of comments lately about not getting to see him enough because they still aren’t allowed to babysit, and how I work too much and that I’m…not fit to raise him on my own.”

“I am booking my flight right now. I’ll text you with the information you need to pick me up,” Pepa said testily. “I need to go pack a bag.”

Eddie relaxed on the sofa. “Thanks, Pepa. I feel like I’m drowning.”

“We’ll fix you,” Pepa declared. “So you can go get your dream man.”

Eddie laughed and blushed. “Wow.” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to give notice at my security job tomorrow. I’m off today.” He exhaled sharply. “I don’t know what to do with myself, Abuela.”

“Does your dream man have an Insta? What’s his user name?” Isabel asked.

“Ay Dios mío,” Eddie muttered. “Please don’t stalk my soulmate, Abuela.”

“I can be discreet!” she exclaimed.

“Abuela, have you ever…heard of someone dreaming of the future?”

Isabel hummed. “Prophetic dreams are to be heeded, nieto. The universe has given you a gift. Please do not squander it.” She made a huffy sound. “I’ll call your cousin Jorge.”

“Why?”

“He has a new partner in his law practice. She handles divorces. You can’t meet your soulmate clinging to your marriage to Shannon, Edmundo. A legal separation isn’t enough. That’s a terrible first impression to make.”

Eddie winced because that’s exactly how it had gone down in the dream, and he’d basically had two different affairs right in his soulmate’s face. Granted, Buck had dated a lot during that time, too. He wondered if Buck was in a relationship with Abby Clark. That was annoying and made him want to call Buck…he considered that and took a deep breath.

Buck had told him once that he’d kept the same phone number for a decade so that his sister would be able to call him if she wanted. She never had. But he knew the man’s phone number so he could call. He didn’t think he should, though. He had no way of knowing if he’d shared the dream with Buck.

“Yeah, I need a divorce lawyer,” Eddie said quietly. “Full custody and child support are a must. I’m willing to discuss visitation after a reintroductory period. So, I guess tell Jorge I need a heavy hitter. Someone who’ll go to the wall and over it to protect my parental rights if Shannon fights me.”

“Agreed. I’ll take care of it. Plus, you’ll need a home. You and Christopher will stay with me until you find something, but I can start gathering listings. And he’ll need a school. I have much to do.” She paused. “Send me a picture from your man’s Insta, si? Good.”

Eddie blinked when his grandmother hung up. He sent her the coffee shop picture of Buck. She certainly didn’t need one of the thirst traps he’d downloaded for himself.

Abuela: You always have liked the pretty ones

Eddie laughed and took a deep breath as he considered what he needed to do next. He’d ordered boxes with the moving pod, so he couldn’t pack until it was all delivered, but he could start organizing for that. Nothing overt because he wanted to talk to Christopher about moving and get his input. He figured Chris would be willing since he knew his mother was in California. He hadn’t asked for Shannon in over a year, but the idea of her was lingering in the background for them both.

He decided to start with clothes because he had some stuff to donate and had put off doing anything with the clothes that Shannon had left behind. Hours later, he had four large garbage bags of clothes that could be donated and another bag that was garbage. Eddie was putting the donation bags in the back of his truck when his mother’s car whipped into his driveway.

She hopped out with a tight smile on her face, but her eyes were dark, like she was angry. Eddie knew that look well enough since he’d endured it most of his teenage years. He checked his watch.

“Did we have something planned?”

Helena huffed. “You closed the savings account? Why? Where’s the money?”

“I put my money in a high-interest savings account,” Eddie said. “How do you know I closed the account?”

“I was on it. I get daily text messages reporting the balance and texts regarding changes made.” She crossed her arms. “Why did you move the money? We should go to the bank so I can be put on the new account.”

“I moved it because I could,” Eddie said easily and picked up the bag of clothes he was throwing away to take to the garbage can. “And there’s no need to put you on the account since it’s temporary. I’m getting ready to create a living trust for Christopher.” He tossed the bag. “But also, weird that you were getting texts about my account.”

“My name was on it.” Helena shrugged. “I have text alerts for all of my accounts. When are you meeting with the lawyer to create the trust?” She pulled out her phone. “I’ll go with you.”

“I haven’t made the appointment yet. I have some decisions to make, and I want to take my time with it.”

“I’ll call David Foley and set you up with him,” Helena said. “He’s handled all of your father’s financial matters for years.”

“No, thank you,” Eddie said firmly and raised an eyebrow when she glared at him. “Mom, I don’t need or want you to make appointments for me. I’ll pick out my own lawyer and my own financial advisor. Your input has not been asked for.”

“Well, you don’t know anything about any of this,” Helena said hotly. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t make any more mistakes.”

“More mistakes?” Eddie questioned. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you got Shannon pregnant and stayed in the Army, which got you shot.”

“Christopher is not a mistake,” Eddie hissed, and his mother paled. “How fucking dare you!”

“That’s not what…I love Christopher.” Her mouth firmed up.

“And serving my country wasn’t a mistake either,” Eddie said. “I get that you don’t understand it. I don’t expect you to, but do not disrespect my service. It’s unacceptable, Mom. And honestly, since you feel that way, I’d better not ever see you on Facebook bragging about your hero son again.”

“Don’t talk to me that way! Also, you didn’t discuss moving the money with me, and I had a right to know what you were going to do with that account.”

“The money was never any of your concern,” Eddie said flatly. “I earned every single penny of it. Another thing you hardly understand since you haven’t worked in three decades.” He walked into the house and huffed a little when she followed.

“What are you doing?”

“Organizing and donating old clothes,” Eddie said. “Cleaning out Shannon’s crap. I don’t need or want your help, so please don’t offer.” He held up a hand when she started to speak. “I mean it. You don’t get to decide what I keep and don’t keep when it comes to my wife.”

“I’ve been telling you since she abandoned you and Christopher to divorce her,” Helena said.

“My marriage is none of your business, Mom,” Eddie said wearily and went into the kitchen.

“What are you cooking for Christopher for dinner?”

“We’ll decide together when I pick him up.”

“I can pick him up.”

“No.” Eddie turned to focus on her. “You were told years ago that you’re not allowed to have unsupervised access to Chris. And you know you aren’t on the list at the school.”

“That was Shannon’s decision. I can’t believe you’re still going along with it.”

“You stomped all over a boundary she and I set together,” Eddie said. “And violated my son’s privacy. You had no right to know if he had a soulmate mark or not. We told you it was none of your business, and as parents, that was our right. And it was our decision. I don’t trust you with my son because what you think and what you want is the only thing that matters.”

He poured himself some water and leaned on the counter to drink it.

“Why aren’t you at work?” Helena questioned.

“It’s my day off, as you already know.”

“Maybe you should pick up another job,” she said, and he remembered that in the dream, she’d pressed him to work as much as possible. She’d probably planned to accuse him of neglecting his son at some point. Even in the dream, leaving El Paso had been the best possible choice, no matter the outcome.

“I’m not going to work myself to the bone for no reason,” Eddie said. “You should go. I have some cleaning to do.”

“I expect you to text me about the appointment to set up the trust. I should be on it.”

“Why should you be on it?”

She sent him a dirty look. “You know very well why Eddie. You can’t handle that kind of responsibility. If I hadn’t made you move that money, Shannon would’ve taken it, and you’d have nothing.”

“No.”

“No, what?” Helena demanded.

“No, you aren’t going to have any sort of access to the living trust,” Eddie said. “It’s none of your business.” He checked his watch. “Seriously, please go. I have a lot to do before I pick up Chris.”

“I’ll be speaking to your father about all of this,” Helena said. “You’re probably doing something stupid, and we’ll have to fix it for you.”

Eddie frowned as she turned on her heel and stalked out of his house. He wondered how much peace he’d get if he changed his cellphone number before he even moved to LA. He pulled out his phone and checked his email. The hope that Jacy had contacted him was answered with a lengthy message where she’d basically provided him a newsletter on most of their graduating class and agreed to sell his house.

He replied with the address and told her she could come over anytime before one in the afternoon. That would give him time to straighten up a bit more and do some research online to see how much houses in his area were going for. He’d gotten it for just over 150,000, and it was paid for since he’d put all of his housing allowances into the loan while he served. It had been mostly paid for when Shannon moved into it after they married. Eddie had been proud of that at the time.

He opened the first picture of Buck he’d downloaded and wondered if he’d gotten the soy milk coffee concoction that he favored. Eddie took a deep breath. “I really hope it wasn’t just a dream. I can’t help but worry that I might have just seen you on the news or whatever.” He touched his suppressed soulmate mark and pressed in a little. “I just need you to be true, Buck.”

Chapter 3

“Rumor has it that you went to HR,” Hen said quietly as she came to stand with him by the ladder truck.

Buck paused in his stocking and frowned. “I asked that the appointment be kept confidential.” He turned to stare at her and found her wide-eyed. “It was…a very personal appointment, Hen.”

“Someone saw you going into the office, and it got spread around quickly because of the argument you had with Chim. He’s in Bobby’s office right now, so I assume they’re discussing what went down between the two of you.”

Buck sighed and frowned. “It had nothing to do with Chim at all.” He flushed and focused on his task, hooking the new hose into place. “Christ, I wouldn’t go over Bobby’s head.”

“Good to know.”

Buck glanced over his shoulder and found both Bobby and Chim standing behind him. “For fuck’s sake.” He shut the compartment door a little more aggressively than he meant to and picked up the old hose.

“I need to see you in my office, Buck,” Bobby said.

Buck grimaced when Hen took the hose and walked away. “I went to HR to handle a personal issue that had nothing to do with anyone at the 118. I’m not required to talk about it with you, Bobby. And I’m certainly not going to talk about it with Chim. He’s in my private business enough, actually. More than enough, and I’m fed up with that, as I already made clear.”

“If it wasn’t about me, then you won’t mind explaining yourself,” Chim stated with a glare.

“I have nothing to explain to you,” Buck said. “And if I’d complained about you, which would’ve been within my rights since you’ve been verbally abusing me on the regular since I started work here, then you’d already know. In fact, all three of us would probably be in HR right now.” He waved a hand in frustration. “I think you both know that.”

“Chim, start work on the inventory for the RA-1,” Bobby said roughly. “Buck, you’re with me.”

“Bobby—” Chim began.

“No,” Bobby interjected. “Buck’s right. No matter his reason for being in HR, it’s none of your business. Go work.”

Buck followed Bobby when the older man waved him forward and ignored the glare Chim sent his way. He hadn’t expected that not tolerating the asshole’s intrusive behavior would be enough to make him openly hostile. He exhaled noisily and slouched down in the chair in Bobby’s office as the older man shut the door.

“I don’t understand why Chim is fixated on me and my behavior,” Buck said flatly. “It’s weird, and honestly, it’s starting to look like outright harassment. I’ve reached my limit on it, Bobby. He doesn’t have any right to be hostile with me because I don’t want to share personal information with him. I do my job around here. Even when I fucked around on the job—I was doing my job. I didn’t take a truck that was actually in use. Granted, I was supposed to be bringing it back from maintenance…and I did, eventually.”

Bobby laughed. “Right.” He frowned and shifted his laptop around a bit. “I didn’t get a report on your meeting with HR.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Buck admitted. “Because it really isn’t about anyone here, Bobby. It’s very personal, and I don’t want to discuss it.”

He watched a series of emotions flick over Bobby’s face and felt some regret for it.

“Look, I get it. You’re a fixer,” Buck began, and Bobby focused on him with a shocked expression. “You see a problem, and you want to make it better. It’s honestly one of the best things about you, and it makes you a great captain. But, this situation…you can’t fix it. HR referred me to a therapist, and I made some appointments. I had a phone session yesterday afternoon after I met with HR, and we’ve set up a few appointments.”

Bobby leaned forward, eyes dark. “I know what happened with the roller coaster was hard….”

“He just let go,” Buck said. “I felt like he didn’t trust me to be what he needed. I could’ve held him, Bobby. I know I could’ve.”

“At his size, you were the only one on the crew who could’ve made that save in that situation,” Bobby said. “And I agree, you could’ve saved him if he’d allowed it. But that moment was a long time coming for that very sad young man, and you can’t blame yourself because he gave up.”

“I’m working through it,” Buck said. “I’m worried about the viral nature of the news coverage, and I’m working with PR to verify my Instagram account to avoid getting impersonated online.”

“Is that a concern?” Bobby questioned with a frown.

“A big one,” Buck admitted. “I’ve gotten some weird messages and emails. I’d rather not get more. I’ve made some changes for privacy reasons and deleted all of my other social media, including Facebook. I posted on Insta that I don’t have any other accounts, so people shouldn’t trust them to be legit. But my Insta already has over a million followers. I had to restrict DMs to only people I follow, which is precious few.”

“What’s a DM?” Bobby questioned.

“A direct message, like a text but through Instagram. I’ve gotten…thousands of them, which I didn’t read. It was kind of weird. So, I just cleaned it all out and restricted it. PR offered to take over that account for me and suggested I make a private account for friends and family. I’ll certainly create a private account, but I’m not going to let them manage my image online. That’s crazy, and I don’t trust them.”

“Best not,” Bobby agreed. “How are things going with Abby?”

Buck shrugged. “We didn’t talk yesterday, but from the texts, it was clear that her mom was stressing her out like crazy. I’ve decided that we should probably just be friends. I don’t want to add to her stress, you know. And I’m not exactly the kind of guy she really wants to have a relationship with. I think, at best, I’m a distraction from her terrible home situation. And that’s fine, but I can’t get invested in what she has going on for many reasons.”

“That’s a healthy choice for you,” Bobby said. “As to the person who saw you at HR, I wasn’t given a name, and I don’t know what they know or what they saw beyond just you being in those offices. You said the situation had nothing to do with anyone in the station—I believe you. But if there is a problem on that level that requires my attention, Buck, I hope you trust me enough to tell me whatever it is.”

Buck wished that he could truly trust Bobby with his back on a personal level, but experience had taught him that the older man had far too much faith in Howard Han. “I really wouldn’t go over your head unless you gave me no choice,” Buck said. “And you’ve never made me believe you’d allow something to go that far.”

“Clearly, I’ve let Chim go too far,” Bobby pointed out evenly. “I gave him a lot of leeway because the situation in the station was extremely toxic when I took over. He and Hen both went through a lot because of the previous captain. He was sexist, racist, and profoundly homophobic, none of which he bothered to keep to himself. That attitude spread to many on the shift, so I spent my first year cleaning house on the personnel front.”

Buck nodded. “I’ve heard some stuff, and I’m sorry things weren’t great before you came along, but that doesn’t give Chim the right to take it out on me. I mean…maybe he doesn’t even see me. He just sees someone much younger than him, and maybe that’s enough.”

Bobby exhaled slowly and sat back in his chair. “Yeah, that’s probably part of it. I hadn’t considered that. You’re incredibly competent as well, even for a probie. Yesterday, your rope work on that construction accident was…just great. Far beyond what’s expected of you on the job at this point. I know a lot of that comes from your volunteer work in Colorado.”

“I learned from the best on that front,” Buck said. “Wilderness SAR is nothing like urban. The difference between knowing a winch will hold you and hoping a cliffside won’t give way on you…it’s night and day. I’m not saying urban SAR is a walk in the park, but it’s a lot easier on many fronts.”

“Speaking of, I wanted to talk to you about a Flood and Swiftwater Rescue certification. Rescue Training International is offering four courses over the next six months. It’s a three-day class, twenty-five hours of education, and physical training. The training hours will be paid-time by the LAFD. I’m going to email you the particulars. The course cost $300. If the expense is a problem, I can help.”

“No, I can handle the fee,” Buck said. “But thanks for offering. Their facility is in Texas, so airfare and a hotel…I might have to save a little for that. I’m looking to get a house soon, so I’m trying to keep my finances clean and my credit cards paid off.”

He had the money, of course, but he couldn’t act like he had that much money at his disposal. It would certainly look weird, and he’d never liked discussing his trust fund, which wasn’t all that much in a big-picture sense. Some people got really fucking weird about that kind of thing.

“The three sessions coming up are spread out—Texas, here in Santa Monica, and another in Florida. The chief is going to put an email about it next week, but I’d like you to sign up today to make sure you get into one of the sessions,” Bobby said. “It’ll take place in March of next year.”

“Yeah, send me the link, and I’ll sign up now,” Buck said easily. “Are you going to suggest anyone else do it?”

“Everyone else will get the email; it’ll be up to them if they sign up,” Bobby said. “I’ll certainly encourage it, but….” He shrugged. “I can’t afford to help many with the fees, and if I offered publicly to you, most would expect it. So, that’s why we’re having a private conversation.”

“Yeah, I see how that would be a problem.”

“And you’re really the only one on A shift I think is suited for the work, who’s willing to take the course, and wouldn’t be doing it for a….”

“An ego boost?” Buck questioned. “My ego is super healthy.”

Bobby laughed. “Get out of my office.”

Buck just grinned, left the office, and headed for the loft to grab an apple. He washed it in the kitchen area and went to check the chores list.

“Hey Buck, come help me with the ladder. We’re offline for the next hour while we do an oil change,” Cosmo called out. “You can do my paperwork while I work on the inspection as well.”’

“You know I love a clipboard,” Buck said with a laugh and followed Cosmo down the stairs.

Up on the ladder, he watched Cosmo work through a checklist silently for a few minutes. The older man wasn’t prone to pulling anyone to help with the engineer work. Mostly, Buck figured he was a perfectionist and didn’t want to get pissed at people for not doing shit exactly how he wanted it done. He’d always regretted Cosmo’s transfer out of the 118. He wondered if the man would’ve noticed the bomb on the ladder truck that day.

“I don’t need a shelter, you know.”

Cosmo hummed under his breath. “Thanks for handling the supplies on the ladder this morning. I had it in my notes to change out that hose.”

“You mentioned the other day that it needed to be replaced, so it was annoying to see it still on the truck this morning. Clearly, Holmes on C didn’t bother to read the notes you left behind on it.” Buck accepted the clipboard Cosmo offered. “Should I check off what’s been done?”

“Yeah,” Cosmo agreed. “And this isn’t about shelter. I could use the support, and it might as well be you. Everyone else has tasks set up when we’re down like this, and you’ve just been meandering the whole place doing what needs to be done. Seems like you need a spot, and I happen to have one.”

“First thing I heard was not to mess with your stuff,” Buck pointed out. “Well, no, the very first thing I heard was don’t touch Bobby’s laptop. But not fucking with your stuff came second.”

“Good advice across the board,” Cosmo said. “Gonna say this once—if you need to talk to someone, I can listen with the best of them, and I don’t gossip.”

Buck nodded. “Thanks…that’s good to know. I’m okay, though. I mean, I’m gonna be seeing a therapist for a while because it’s hard not to think about what I could’ve said to him. What words could I have said that would’ve made him take my hand?”

“None,” Cosmo said. “Absolutely none. It was clear from the news footage that his friend’s death was his final straw, and he had nothing left to give. Suicide is hard on the living. We see it as a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but for those who do it…it’s an end to a sort of suffering that only they understand. You’ve got a lot of heart, so it’s your nature to try to save everyone, but there are some people who just don’t want saving. Accepting that is hard.”

“Yeah.” Buck frowned. He’d never actually accepted that while it had been a long time for him, he still carried some guilt about Devon and whatever words he didn’t say that the man needed to hear. “Suicide calls are the worst, really. Because I just want to shout at them—hey, asshole, someone fucking loves you, and you’re breaking their heart, so sit your dumbass down so we can help you.”

“Well, you’re never getting to do the talking!” Bobby shouted as he walked by the ladder. “Jesus.”

Buck laughed and shrugged when Cosmo nodded his agreement.

 * * * *

“Tia Pepa says she’s making seafood tonight,” Chris said as he wiggled against the harness that Eddie was trying to fasten. “That’ll be fun. She said I could have crab cakes to go with my shrimp skewers. Did you get charcoal for the grill, Daddy?”

“I got a small bag,” Eddie said as he tugged the harness to check it. Chris had taken the arrival of Pepa very well despite the verbal fight she’d had with her brother in Eddie’s front yard the day of her arrival.

Chris had been utterly fascinated, and Eddie had worked hard to keep him out of earshot of the immense argument between Pepa and Ramon when she’d told him that she was visiting Eddie for the entire month and didn’t want to see him or his wife the whole time she was in Texas. Helena was actually intimidated by Pepa, so she hadn’t shown up at all in the two days since he’d picked Pepa up from the airport. If Eddie were staying in Texas, he’d lobby to have his aunt live with him permanently.

“Chris, how would you feel about going on an adventure?” Eddie questioned.

“What kind of adventure?” Chris asked. “Could we go to the zoo?”

Eddie laughed. “Sure, we can go to the zoo. I was thinking that we could move to Los Angeles.”

“Mommy’s in Los Angeles,” Chris said.

“She’s close to the city,” Eddie said. “But her mother lives in San Bernardino, which is outside of LA. You haven’t brought her up recently. Did you want me to call her?”

“No.” Chris huffed. “Maybe. I don’t know. Are we going to go live with her?”

“No,” Eddie said and shut the door. He climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “I’m going to ask your mom for a divorce, Chris.” He watched in the rearview mirror as his son thought about it. “I think it’d just be best for me to move on.”

Chris nodded but took a shaky breath. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Mijo. I wish….” He didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to lie. “I wish your mom, and I could make each other happy.”

“It’s hard, but I understand,” Chris said and cleared his throat. “Isn’t Disneyland close to LA?”

Eddie grinned. “Yeah.”

“That’s the selling point—you should’ve led with that,” Chris decided.

“Hey, Christopher, wanna run away to Disneyland?”

“Yes, obviously,” Chris said and laughed when Eddie did. “Grandma won’t like it.”

“Your grandmother hasn’t liked anything I’ve done since…well, forever,” Eddie muttered. “And I just don’t care what she wants at this point.”

“I think that’s healthy. Ms. Miller, at school, says that sometimes adults do a lot of things that make them unhappy because they have to, but I think that’s terrible. She said I was an idealist and wanted to know which one of my parents to blame for that. I said it was you.”

Eddie lowered his head to the steering wheel as he laughed. “Why?”’

“It’s gotta be you because you never give up, Daddy.”

He swallowed hard against the emotion that swelled inside him and took a steadying breath. “Yeah.”

“When are we telling Grandma and Abuelo that we’re moving?”

“About a week after we get to LA,” Eddie muttered.

“Great plan,” Chris said decisively. “Maybe a month.”

“They’ll probably figure it out before then,” Eddie said with a grin as he pulled out of the school parking lot. “They have special schools in LA. What kind would you like to go to?”

“One with a STEAM program.”

“STEAM?” Eddie asked.

“Science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics,” Chris said. “Mom said I’d have to wait until junior high to get one here. Maybe LA will be different.”

“I’ll definitely look,” Eddie said and considered Carla Price, the woman from his dream who’d made some really positive changes for Chris. If the dream had been at all accurate, he knew which home health service she worked for, but maybe Buck already knew her.

He wondered how he’d go about meeting Buck nearly a year early, for the tenth time since he’d woken up for the day. There had been some small dreams that felt like he was being guided, but nothing as profound as the first one. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ever have another like the first one since it had been huge. Too big, really, he knew to be a normal dream. Who had dreams that span years? He’d been tempted to look it up, but then he’d gotten paranoid. He wasn’t sure he could trust anyone with of it. Part of that was his parents’ fault, and he knew it.

Trust had always been difficult, but they had betrayed him in a way so base and obscene that he wasn’t sure he’d ever get over it. His Abuela had found a practicing witch in LA that had agreed to consult on his situation to document the suppression and confirm he actually had a soulmate mark. He’d read a little online and knew that removing decades-old suppression spells was hit and miss. His main goal in meeting with the witch was to get confirmation that he had a suppressed soulmate mark and a time frame on when it was done so he could hold his parents accountable at the point it served him best.

He wanted Chris entirely out of the way before his parents realized just how much he knew and how much power he had over their circumstances. There wasn’t a statute of limitations on the involuntary suppression of a soulmate mark, and his parents could both spend the rest of their lives in jail for it. The fact that he could destroy their lives without much effort at all was a relief. They’d been holding him hostage in a way since Christopher was born. For so many years, he’d feared that they’d use their money to take his son.

He glanced up in the mirror and found that Chris had dozed off. Eddie grinned and shook his head; first grade was clearly an exhausting endeavor. A phone call came through, but he declined it with a push of a button since he wasn’t talking to his mother in front of his son. Chris didn’t need to know hostile things were getting on that front. Eddie figured they’d both go nuclear when they realized the house was already on the market.

The moving pod was due to be delivered in a day, and with Pepa’s help, he’d gone through everything in the house. Donations had already been made, which was a load off. The only stuff left in the house was to be packed and moved. He didn’t know how long it would take to sell the house, but Jacy thought it would go smoothly due to the location and relatively new construction.

It shouldn’t be a relief that neither of his parents was at his house when he arrived, but it was. He didn’t think his mother would test Pepa, but Eddie couldn’t depend on his father being kept entirely at bay by his own sister for very long. He parked, and Chris slept through being removed from the harness and carried into the house, only stirring briefly when Eddie put him on the couch and took off his shoes.

“Have a nap, Mijo. We’ll wake you for dinner.” He put a thin blanket he kept on the back of the couch over him and took off Chris’ glasses which he put on the coffee table.

He stood there for a moment and stared at his son, thinking about the dream and everything that happened to them both in LA. It was daunting, and some of the events could be outright avoided if he was careful, but even the thought of getting shot again didn’t scare him as much as never meeting his soulmate. He brushed a curl from Chris’ forehead and sighed, and went into the kitchen.

“Mamá has started gathering information on all the services you texted her about,” Pepa said. “It’s a lot. I hope you remember how to fill all of that stuff out.”

Eddie laughed because he hadn’t done it in the dream. “I’m hoping for a little help on that front. Regardless, getting a head start will be good. I want to put Chris in the right school from the start, and he was in a good one later on. But I wonder if it’s the best choice considering what he said to me today. He mentioned wanting a STEAM program, and I didn’t concentrate on that…so I’m not sure if Durand has that.”

And maybe, he wanted to avoid ever meeting Ana Flores. The thought of her was kind of nauseating, and he couldn’t explain it since he didn’t remember her being specifically terrible. It had just been a very dumb decision on his part to date her. Maybe it was more about the shooting and the aftermath of that injury. He’d let his mental health go to pot in more than one way. Retrospection was awful.

“What’s your dream man up to today?”

Eddie flushed. “He posted a picture on Insta with a couple of other firefighters—they were washing the ladder truck. Stop asking. You’re making me feel like a stalker.”

“Ha, your behavior is making you feel like a stalker,” Pepa said with a laugh and patted him on the shoulder. “Your curiosity is understandable.”

He leaned on the counter and took a deep breath. “Thanks for being here, Pepa. I just…I’m not good at asking for help. I learned that in the dream, and I suffered a lot before I got there. I hurt myself more often than not with it, and that led to me making terrible decisions.”

“How vivid was the dream?” Pepa asked quietly with a glance toward the door.

“He’s down for the count,” Eddie said. “And it was like…living. Around six years.”

Pepa took a deep breath. “I…that must have been overwhelming. What woke you up?”

Eddie winced. “I don’t want Abuela to know.” He waited until she nodded. “I died, and when I woke up, all I could think was that I’d dragged my soulmate into the grave with me because my mark was mostly suppressed. I think being around him for years made it start to break free of the spell. Enough to form some kind of bond that…corrupted somehow. I’m not sure.”

“It would’ve withered,” Pepa said quietly. “And he would’ve faded. It would’ve been an emotionally and, often, physically agonizing experience. Here’s hoping, if he shared your dream, that he died with you.”

“I don’t think he did,” Eddie admitted. “I gave him custody of Christopher, and I feel like he honored that as long as he could. Buck protected him from my parents, but…it hurt him a lot. I feel like he did fade, but it’s hazy and indistinct. It’s weird how it feels both real and like a dream at the same time.”

Pepa sighed. “Ramon and Helena cannot suffer enough for this, Eddie. I’ve never liked her all that much, and I’m beginning to hate them both.”

“I don’t want Buck to remember the hurt,” Eddie said. “But I want him to know me like I think I know him.”

“Well, cariño, life is rich and vivid for a reason, and pain is part of that journey,” Pepa said gently. “He’s a good, strong man.”

“How do you know?” Eddie asked.

“Because he’s your soulmate,” Pepa said and patted his arm. “How could he be anything else?”

* * * *

“So, remember how I said that you couldn’t talk to any suicide attempts?” Bobby questioned.

“Yeah,” Buck said and grimaced as he glanced very briefly at the young man on the side of the bridge. He didn’t remember their current call and wondered how many other changes he’d face because someone turned left instead of right. Events were far more fragile than he’d ever thought. “I can climb down the other side and underneath—hook him before he knows what’s hit him.”

“Time on that?”

Buck considered the width of the bridge and the fact that it would be a solo climb. No one else on scene had the certs for it, which was aggravating. “Ten minutes? I could use the winch on the ladder truck to swing under, cut the time in half, but it increases the risk of injury for me. I could dislocate a shoulder.”

Bobby shook his head then sighed. “I want you to talk to him.”

“Why?” Buck questioned in confusion.

“Because you have something in common with this boy that absolutely no one on the team can relate to, as far as I know,” Bobby said and tapped his own heart just once. “And I’m not asking you to leverage it outright, but maybe you’ll understand his perspective a little better. I respect that you want to keep it to yourself. I’ve already made a misstep with him, and I think we’re getting precariously close to the end game.”

“He has a soulmate mark,” Buck murmured and sighed when Bobby nodded. “Right. Okay, so maybe we’re saving two lives today.” He set his harness down and the ropes he’d started to gather. “Let’s see what we can do.”

“Put the harness on,” Bobby said. “I want a rope on you.”

Under a minute later, Buck threw a leg over the side of the bridge, dropped down to the narrow ledge, and took a seat.

“Fuck off.”

“What a rude thing to say to a man risking his life for you,” Buck said dryly, and the boy blinked in surprise. “Are you even old enough to talk like that?”

“I’m eighteen!”

“Can’t even buy a legal drink,” Buck said. “Sucks.” He looked down at the water. “You picked a crap place to do this.”

“What?”

“I mean, the river looks a little deep here, and we’re only about ninety feet off the surface,” Buck said and shook his head. “You could survive this. It’ll be painful as fuck, though. You’ll break a lot of bones.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be talking me out of this?”

“Yeah, and I would if I thought you were going to do it,” Buck said easily. “Did your soulmate reject you?”

“I haven’t met them,” the boy said and averted his gaze. “My parents told me I couldn’t register, and I had to ignore it because it’s not godly. Dad says I have to be loyal to my family and the church and forget about my soulmate.”

“How old are they?” Buck questioned.

“Hmmm, mom’s sixty-four, and he’s seventy. I’m a late-in-life baby, an only child. Why?”

“So, listen, I’m about to get really blunt with you,” Buck said evenly. “You can’t live your life for your parents, and you have a right to build a life that will make you happy because those two old assholes are getting older by the day, and they probably won’t even be around to disapprove of your choices by the time you have a kid even half your current age.”

The boy’s mouth dropped open.

“So, sign up with the national registry, find your fucking soulmate, and tell your parents to get with the program or they can start figuring out which nursing home they want to grow old and alone in.”

The boy laughed. “I…it can’t be that easy.”

“I haven’t seen my parents since I was your age. I just packed my stuff and took off. I worked here and there and met some great people.” He paused. “Met some awful ones, too. I went all the way to Peru trying to find what I was missing.” Buck used two fingers to tap against his heart. “Still looking.”

“I’m George.”

“Buck.”

The boy nodded. “I…just want my soulmate. It shouldn’t feel like this, Buck. Why can’t they be happy for me?”

“Some people disdain soulmate magic because they don’t have it,” Buck said simply. “They resent us for something we can’t even help or have any choice in. Even if we ignore the mark our whole lives, it’ll still be here tempting us with the potential of it. When I was younger, I would stare at my mark for hours, furious that I didn’t know who was on the other end of it and worried that maybe they would hate me.”

“Yeah.” George rubbed his mouth. “What if I give up my parents and my soulmate hates me and wants nothing to do with me?”

“You look really average,” Buck said. “I bet you played football in high school and dated a cheerleader.”

George flushed. “Yeah, and?”

“The thing is that the percentage of rejected soulmate bonds is a fraction of a percent. I really don’t think you’re going to askew from your life trend on this subject. Your soulmate is probably running around living his or her life being just as statistically average as you. They probably have terrible taste in music, share too many Internet memes, and follow Justin Bieber on Twitter.”

“I follow Justin Bieber on Twitter.”

“Of course you do,” Buck said and shook his head, which made George laugh and tumble right off the fucking ledge with a startled scream. Buck jumped, magic rushing in his chest, and he caught the kid’s forearm. “Hold on!”

“Shit, shit! You hold on! I don’t want to break my whole body!” George shouted.

Buck looked up and found Bobby and Cosmo both leaning over the railing, then focused on George since he trusted they’d do their part. “Okay, kid, I’m going to pull you up, and you’re going to grab my harness as soon as you can get some leverage.” He started to lift the kid upward, ignoring the way magic moved around in his body in response.

“Fuck, you’re strong!” George exclaimed even as he wrapped a hand around the thigh strap of Buck’s harness as he basically climbed up.

Buck clamped an arm around the younger man’s back as soon as he could. “Okay, hold on.” He looked down over the water. “And I lied, by the way. That fall would’ve totally killed you.”

George huffed. “You’re hot like fire.”

Buck laughed. “Shut up. I’m practically a decade older than you.”

“I’ve had a hard day and deserve to stare at a hot firefighter,” George muttered. “It’s my birthday, you know.”

“Happy birthday. I hope you enjoy your seventy-two-hour psych hold,” Buck said wryly. “Next year, I recommend you buy yourself a cake and try to get laid. Much more fun.”

Thankfully, they were pulled up quickly, and he handed a still-trembling George off to Cosmo. Bobby kept a hand on Buck, fingers curling into the harness the moment he could, and kept holding on until Buck was on the right side of the railing.

“Fantastic job, Buck. I kept everyone but Cosmo back—he was working the winch, obviously,” Bobby said quietly. “Can’t say how much anyone heard.”

“It’s fine. I’d rather have the whole damn shift know than have another kid fall right out of my hands,” Buck muttered and rubbed his neck as he took a deep breath and averted his face when the news helicopter got close enough to stir up the air. “Fucking vultures.”

“How’s your shoulder, Buck?” Hen questioned as she dropped her bag in front of him. “That boy has to weigh over 150 pounds, and you caught the whole of that plus momentum.”

Buck rolled his shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“Let’s get you into the ladder,” Hen muttered with a frown toward the helicopter circling above them. “Delaney’s riding with the kid. She’s got one his age. Figured it’d be a good fit to keep him calm.”

Buck nodded and let himself be taken to the ladder truck. He noted with a frown that Chim was leaning against the door. The man was practically allergic to driving the ambulance unless it was a serious injury. Buck figured that played into his glory-hog ambitions. The fact was they didn’t need two paramedics on the ladder, and since Chim had been with the 118 longer, he should’ve been permanently assigned to the ambulance in a pseudo-leadership role.

Maybe it was fear of missing out, or maybe Bobby didn’t trust him on that level. It was probably a mixture of both, but Buck doubted that either man fully recognized how big of a problem that was. Moreover, Buck already knew he wasn’t the only one to notice the situation. It would play into Cosmo’s transfer out of the 118. Buck wanted to prevent that because he was the best engineer they had while he was working there.

Hen slid onto the bench next to him and started moving his arm and shoulder around. “Any pain? Pulling?”

“No,” Buck denied. “Feels fine, promise. I know better than to dismiss a shoulder injury—that’s the road to serious problems and physical therapy.” He pressed in her hand when she motioned for him to do so.

Hen nodded. “He’s fine for now, Bobby. I’ll check him again in about an hour to see if adrenaline is playing tricks on us.” She let him go and patted his arm. “Great job, Buck.”

Across from them, Chim grimaced and looked out the window. The behavior was making Buck realize that Chim had probably never liked him, but it had been easier to at least pretend when Buck just accepted his crap without question. It was fucking pathetic. Buck stretched his legs and considered what he should post on Instagram to get ahead of the stupid video that was probably already being uploaded to YouTube.

He pulled out his phone, looked up a bunch of resources on suicide prevention, and posted it on Instagram with a picture of the rope that was piled on the floor of the ladder. His picture-taking didn’t go unnoticed, but he didn’t care what Chim had to say about it. He unhooked the rope from the harness he was still wearing as the ladder started moving and started to check it for damage.

“Couldn’t wait to brag, huh?” Chimney questioned as he obnoxiously chewed a piece of gum.

“I posted information on suicide prevention,” Buck said quietly as he arranged the rope over his shoulders and started a butterfly coil. “If I posted nothing, the PR department would spend the rest of the day harassing the shit out of me because somewhere between a very depressed young man giving up on himself and today, the LAFD decided I should be a poster boy. At this point, the only thing I have is management. But hey, go ahead and tell me how I should handle being popular online for failing someone in the hardest goddamned moment of their very short life.” He focused on Chim and found the older man staring at him in shock.

Hen pressed her leg briefly against his, and it reminded him of Eddie. It was nothing short of agonizing. He barely refrained from flinching because he knew she meant well and wouldn’t understand such a response from him.

“You didn’t fail,” Hen said. “And you did nothing wrong—that night or today. I know you’re aware that his decision had nothing to do with you. He’d been heading in that direction for years.”

“His sister told me he’d tried before,” Buck said and took a deep breath as he pulled the rope coil over his head, tied it off, and dropped it on the floor in front of him.

“Sister?” Cosmo questioned and glanced over his shoulder in the driver’s seat. “Is his family bothering you? You should tell HR.”

“No, I went to Devon’s funeral,” Buck said and cleared his throat when Bobby half-turned in the passenger seat to stare at him. “I didn’t even get to take him to the doors. I figured going to the funeral would help me leave him somewhere. It did.”

“Yeah, okay,” Bobby said quietly. “But I’d have gone with you if you’d said.”

“No insult intended, Buckley, but I think you have too much heart for this job,” Cosmo said from the driver’s seat.

* * * *

“I need to go LA immediately so I can find him and curse him out,” Eddie muttered and waved his phone. “Buck jumped off a damn bridge!”

Pepa’s eyes went wide with shock. “What?”

“He was on a rope,” Eddie huffed. “A single rope that I had zero control over, and I’m going to lecture the fuck out of him for it.” He waved his phone again.

Pepa snatched the phone, and Eddie watched her as she viewed the video. She gasped near the end and crossed herself. “This young man of yours is very heroic.”

“I….” Eddie huffed because he agreed, but also, he felt helpless and foolish over the whole thing. “He posted information and resource links for suicide prevention on Instagram, so I checked YouTube to see if the news in LA was reporting anything. That’s what I got. It happened about three hours ago.” He checked his watch. “I need to go pick up, Chris. Pop has called four times today, and I haven’t answered. He’ll probably show up around the time I bring Chris home to use him as a shield.”

“They’ve certainly driven by the house and seen the pod,” Pepa said. “Did he leave any voice mails?”

“No, but he never does. Pop doesn’t like to leave evidence of his bad behavior behind. Mom isn’t as discreet.” Eddie took the phone when she offered it. “I’m getting weird about this, right?”

Pepa grinned. “Maybe, but you’ve had a very stressful experience.”

“It’s….” Eddie frowned when the alarm went off on his phone. “I’ve two guys from a moving service coming in about an hour to handle the big furniture. I’ll try to be back before they’re due to arrive. Keep your phone with you if I’m not.”

“I can handle myself.”

Eddie frowned because while his aunt was a strong person in personality, she’d be no match against a grown man, much less two. “They’re bonded, and the company has very good reviews. I don’t expect any problems, but….”

“Go,” Pepa ordered. “If you’re late, Christopher will worry.”

“Would it be better if he didn’t have to worry about my parents’ reactions to this whole thing?” Eddie questioned. “I thought keeping them out of it was for the best, but it’s stressing Chris out, right?”

“Yeah,” Pepa said reluctantly. “And I agree it would be easier for them to have no clue until Chris and I are on the plane, but…that still leaves you here to deal with the brunt of whatever their reaction is.”

Eddie nodded. Part of him wanted to just sell his truck instead of driving it to LA, but it was in good condition, and there was no need to put that kind of expense on top of his situation when he was going to have to get a house and get into the academy earlier than he had in the dream then maneuver himself into a position where he could catch Bobby Nash’s attention sooner rather than later. It sounded like more than he could handle laid out like that. A lot depended on there being a place for him at the 118 months earlier if his dream could be depended on.

He kissed her cheek. “Thanks for being here. I’d be a mess without you.”

“Most people I know would be,” Pepa said and shrugged when he laughed.

 

 

Chapter 4

Buck took a deep breath as he turned his phone over his hand. He’d been thinking a lot about Maddie’s situation and how to help her best without putting her at more risk than she was already. Calling the police and reporting Doug had no guarantees because it would depend on Maddie being ready to tell them the truth. Buck didn’t even know what the final straw was for his sister.

He’d hired a private detective to investigate the situation, so he’d have as much information as he could. Buck couldn’t leave it alone and let Maddie come to him like she had the first time. It was dangerous, and Doug had killed at least one person and hurt many more besides when he’d spiraled completely out of control.

Buck had bought a house just three streets over from Isabel Diaz. It was closer to the 118 than his loft had been, so he wasn’t displeased with the commute at all. He’d gotten more house than he needed, but he’d bought with Eddie and Chris in mind. Buck didn’t know what to do with himself on that front, but he couldn’t help but think about the kind of life they could have if things went well.

His phone vibrated in his hand. Buck frowned just a bit when he saw Abby’s name but answered it because he’d been waiting on this particular phone call. He did feel guilty about Patricia Clark roaming around in a confused state but hadn’t known how to prevent it. She’d been fine the first time, and he hadn’t even known where she was exactly when she was found, so he couldn’t find her earlier without it getting weird. And he needed to meet Carla Price.

“Abby, hey.”

“Buck….my mom left the apartment. I can’t find her in the building and….”

“Take a deep breath. Have you called it in?” Buck said and stood. “Would she respond badly to a cop in uniform?”

“I don’t…think she would,” Abby said. “I need to be out looking for her.”

“I’ll come over and help,” Buck offered. “But call dispatch and get a report out on her since she’s vulnerable and mentally confused. They’ll check reports and the hospitals for you. Plus…she’s not…dressed, right?”

Abby groaned. “A gown and robe. I think…yeah, she has her house shoes, at least. Fuck. Okay, I’ll text you my address and call it in.”

Hours later, Patricia was home safe, and Buck had the connection with Carla Price that he would need in the future. She was the bright spot in the whole Abby situation, and Buck hoped that he could extract himself from Abby’s life in such a way that Carla wouldn’t think he was a complete asshole. Since he’d returned to the past, he’d worked to tone down his texts with Abby and hoped she was getting the friends-only vibe he was putting out.

“It was nice of you to help search,” Carla said as they entered the elevator together. “Abby’s under a lot of stress, and friends are in short supply. They most often are for long-term caregivers who are at the mercy of someone else’s health. It’s hard to make plans and keep them.”

Buck nodded as he chose the garage level and leaned back against the wall. “Are you giving me a shovel talk, Mrs. Price?”

She laughed. “No, and please call me Carla. You seem like the kind of man that a person can depend on—friendship or otherwise. Abby tells me you’ve established pretty firm boundaries on the friendship front as of late.”

Buck flushed and shrugged. “I’d rather make a friend than collect another casual sex partner. I hope she understands.”

“I think so, yes.” Carla patted his arm. “You had a pretty stressful day yesterday.”

“Less stressful than that kid’s,” Buck said. “I was just doing my job.”

“You went above and beyond your job, young man. What if that rope hadn’t held you both?”

“Well, I knew it would,” Buck said simply. “I take care of my equipment, and that particular rope, which was brand new, can handle up to 29kN. We were nowhere near meeting that burden.”

“What’s a kN?” Carla asked curiously.

“Kilonewton—it’s a measurement of force. Basically, it determines how much dynamic weight a rope can old.” He put a hand on the elevator door when it opened to keep it in place and motioned her out in front of him. “So, that double rope I was attached to yesterday could handle around 6500 pounds of weight in motion. Statistically speaking, ropes don’t break. Nearly all rope accidents are the result of being cut in some fashion or another. Rocks can get sharp, so it’s something to look for when rock climbing, specifically. In an urban environment, the biggest risk on that front comes from metal and glass, which wasn’t in play yesterday. The real point of failure would’ve been the winch, and I was attached to the ladder truck.”

“So safe and sound,” Carla said in amusement as she stopped in front of her car.

“As one can be dangling off a bridge holding a boy with too much hurt to be contained in his own body,” Buck said, and her eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Waiting for your soulmate is hard, and he’s just getting started. His parents are a roadblock, so I hope they come to understand that their religious beliefs aren’t more important than their son’s happiness. You’ve gotta be in a deeply miserable place to climb over the railing of a bridge.”

“Yeah,” Carla said with a frown and took a deep breath. “I hadn’t really considered all of that. The LA Times is doing a series of articles on soulmate marks and the pressure of having one because of what happened with that young man. I hope the press doesn’t harass him a lot once he’s available for that kind of attention. It must be difficult for your generation since soulmate magic seems to be fading. I was disappointed not to have one, and I can’t imagine how much worse it is these days, what with the political and religious rhetoric.”

“My senior year of high school, a representative from the national registry came to the school with pamphlets on registering,” Buck said. “Everyone I knew personally picked one up despite most of them admitting they didn’t have a mark. One girl said she just didn’t want anyone to talk about her not having a soulmate, so she pretended to have the potential.” He leaned on the car and took a deep breath. “I never really talked about mine with anyone, but I’m registered.”

Her gaze widened slightly. “Have you told Abby about your mark?”

“No, I don’t speak of it often. I used to because it would be obvious once sex was on the table, but….” He flushed and averted his gaze. “I just don’t completely undress anymore unless I feel like it won’t be a problem. It’s why I can’t really involve myself that way with Abby, you know? She’s not the kind of woman to be satisfied with that, and I can’t invest too much of myself in anyone at this point. I’m not ready to give up.”

Carla wrapped a small hand around his forearm and squeezed gently. “Baby, I’m not sure what to say.”

“It’s fine. I don’t know why I’m talking about this with you,” Buck said. “You must think I’m crazy. I don’t normally overshare like this with anyone.”

She laughed, eyes bright, and a shimmer of magic drifted over her skin. Buck stared in shock because he’d never realized Carla was magical the first time around. He wondered if Hekate was giving him the ability to see magic. “It’s a gift. I promise not to share what you’ve said to me with anyone.”

“Did you always know you had a magical gift?” Buck questioned curiously, and she inclined her head thoughtfully.

“My mother said that I was the best judge of character even as a toddler, and if I couldn’t tolerate someone—then there was always a very good reason for it,” Carla said, and a small frown drifted over her mouth, but it cleared away quickly. “It’s served me well. I always know when I’m making a very good friend. Like today.”

Buck smiled. “Yeah, I feel the same. Save my phone number, please, and if you ever need anything, please let me know.”

“I always make room to have lunch with a handsome man half my age,” Carla said wryly and grinned when he laughed. “You keep mine, as well, and let me know if you need anything. Sometimes we’re not okay, and that’s understandable. I work a lot of overnights, so I can chat via text or over the phone if you need a sounding board you don’t work with.”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great.” He tapped the top of the car. “Inside with a locked door, please. This parking garage isn’t well-lit. We should complain to the management about it because Abby won’t bother.”

“I’ll fill out a complaint and get her to sign it,” Carla agreed but did as instructed. “Get some sleep, Buck. You look exhausted.”

* * * *

Buck answered his phone and put it on speaker as he poured eggs into a frying pan. “Hello.”

“Buck, this is Thomas Deacon. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, it’s my day off, but I’ve already been to the gym, despite having a long night,” Buck said and grinned when the PI snorted. “How was your trip to Hershey?”

“I hate to fly, so it was awful. I’ve done a basic surveil on both your sister and her husband. I can confirm already that you were right. He is most definitely abusing her both physically and mentally. She’s currently sporting a very badly concealed black eye.”

“Badly concealed on purpose?” Buck questioned.

“Surely. There are products on the market that would hide the bruise entirely. I’d speculate that she’s doing a piss-poor job of it to embarrass or shame him. Do you know if your sister has a medical condition of any sort?”

“Clinical depression, but she’s always been opposed to treatment,” Buck said reluctantly. “Why?”

“I snagged a bag of garbage—found some unlabeled pharmacy bottles. Considering their profession, one of them is helping themselves to some sort of med on the job,” Thomas explained. “So, I could have the bottles tested, or we can take a risk and report him specifically for drug theft at the hospital where he works. Though it might come back on your sister if she knows or if it’s her.”

“It’s not her. Maddie would suffer a two-day migraine before agreeing to take an aspirin,” Buck said. “Our mom is a pill addict—she favors barbiturates. We both carry the load on that front in different ways.”

“Pretty common for her generation as far as the choice of pills goes,” Thomas said. “I did do a basic background check on your parents, and that report is almost ready to email. You were right about the dead sibling. I’ve got some more information to gather on that front. His name was Daniel, and he died when he was eight years old. It matches up with what you know about your own medical history and being a bone marrow donor. I won’t be able to get a copy of his medical records due to privacy. There was no obituary, which is obscene and weird. I think you’ll probably get the most information from your sister.”

“Agreed,” Buck said. “Thanks for the confirmation. Finding the records for that transplant was a little startling.”

“You’re a smart kid, so you’ve probably already figured out that you’re a savior baby,” Thomas said roughly. “Which sucks, especially considering how your parents treated you.”

Buck shrugged and was relieved the older man couldn’t see him. He’d picked Thomas Deacon because he was retired LAPD and had been very kind on the phone when he’d first called. The other two PIs he’d checked out weren’t very friendly or interested in the situation on the level he needed.

“Can I get my sister out of that house before reporting him?” Buck questioned.

“I’m sure you’ve heard that shit about how you can’t help a victim of this kind of situation until they want to help themselves. It’s a pretty pithy and ugly statement to have thrown in your face when you know someone you love is being hurt. But here’s the truth of it—we can’t force her to file charges, we can’t prevent her from returning to the house, and we can’t make her divorce the piece of shit. She’s probably lied repeatedly to everyone in her life either because she’s ashamed or because she’s afraid. In some circumstances, she might even defend him against others.

“Easily the most dangerous calls I ever went on as a cop were DV ones. It became my procedure to cuff both sides of the couple to avoid getting attacked from behind long before we were ordered to do so as part of developing procedures on those calls. What we can do is give her resources and a safe place to land. That’s where you come in.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Buck said. “Okay, let’s report him for the drugs and see what shakes out as a result. Can you stick close to her and call the cops if he has a go at her?”

“If he has a go at her in front of me, I’ll have the legal circumstances to defend her,” Thomas said. “And I’ve already checked in with the Derry Township Police Department—reporting my presence and my weapon. They were very kind to welcome a retired lawman to their area for a bit of a vacation. They know I’m a PI and that I’m staying at a rental two blocks from your sister’s house.”

“So, you’re covered,” Buck said. “I think he’s dangerous, Thomas, and capable of killing. I’d don’t want…. Don’t get hurt, okay?”

“I’m retired, kid, not infirm. I’m not going to let a punk like Doug Kendall get the best of me,” Thomas said roughly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m a worrier,” Buck confessed and huffed when Thomas laughed. “Just be careful and don’t buy any of that cheap ass chocolate. It’s a total racket. Plus, they have the worst environmental policies.”

“You’re ruining candy for me, kid. I didn’t sign up for that,” Thomas muttered. “Saw that video of you on YouTube. That was big damn hero shit. If you were my son, I’d be proud as hell. I’d also be lecturing you for weeks.”

Buck flushed as he transferred his eggs onto a plate. “Thanks, Thomas. I was just doing my job.”

“Well, you did a great job. I hope your captain told you that.”

“He did, yeah.” Buck tossed a piece of pita bread in the frying pan to heat up and went to pour himself some juice. “It is shady that I don’t want to admit to my sister, ever, that I hired you to investigate her whole life?”

“Probably, but sometimes we have to do things for our loved ones that they would resent. On the other side of this situation, your sister will need to focus on her own healing, and if you want to be a place of safety, then she doesn’t need to ever know I was here.”

“I get it,” Buck said. “And you’re right; she doesn’t need to know. I’ll put my guilt on it aside and find something else to worry about.” He pulled the bacon from the oven and grabbed the pita from the pan. “Thanks for taking this so seriously, Thomas. The others that I contacted basically told me to mind my own business even as they offered to take my money.”

“Well, you hit me in a weak spot. I lost my only child decades ago to a piece of shit bastard just like Doug Kendall.” Thomas sighed. “Have a good day, kid.”

Buck started to speak, but his phone went dark, indicating the call had ended. He was glad that Thomas Deacon had taken his case. Magic had also approved of the older man after meeting him, so that had put him completely at ease with the situation. He’d resolved not to think about the fact that he might have sort of low-key put out a hit on his brother-in-law. He hadn’t actually asked or even suggested that Thomas Deacon kill Doug, but he had put a man with a gun and experience right into the asshole’s path. He didn’t feel guilty about that part at all.

He sat down at the table with his food. Buck opened up Instagram and browsed to Eddie’s profile, so he could stare at old pictures of his soulmate. It was bizarre and pathetic, but he was willing to own all of that. There was a new public post—a picture of Christopher and Pepa taken from the back, so their faces weren’t visible. They were in an airport. It was tagged with the words: adventure, los angeles, and new beginnings.

Buck dropped his phone and was only distantly relieved it landed on the table. The post was dated the day before, so that meant Christopher was just a couple of blocks away. He closed his eyes briefly as he considered the ramifications of Eddie moving to LA nine months before he did the first time. Plus, he’d sent his son away from Texas without him. He rubbed his chest and tried to even out his breathing because he wanted to just get on a plane immediately and go find Eddie.

He knew Helena and Ramon Diaz were a problem. He just didn’t know what other kind of damage they were capable of.

* * * *

“I can’t take my grandson to the park, but you’ve let Pepa take him to California!” Helena shouted, and Eddie merely raised an eyebrow at her.

He leaned on the doorframe and took a sip of coffee. He’d had to take his ass to Starbucks to get it since there was no food in the house, and Jacy had set the place up with staging furniture. There wasn’t a coffee maker in sight. He’d slept on the rented couch with the blanket and pillow he’d kept for the road trip. Eddie glanced over his mother’s shoulder to where his father was standing, arms crossed.

“Well?” Helena demanded. “Explain yourself, Edmundo!”

“I don’t owe you any sort of explanation,” Eddie said.

“Let us in—we’re having a long talk, then I’m going to California to get my grandbaby.”

“You can go anywhere you like, but if you try to take my child anywhere, I’ll have you arrested,” Eddie said. “And no, you can’t come in. The house is set up for viewing, and I don’t want you to mess it up.”

“Viewing?” Helena’s eyes widened, and her lips pressed into a thin line. “What do you mean by that? Are you selling the house?”

“I won’t be needing it,” Eddie said and shrugged. “My real estate agent will be here soon to take the keys, and I’ll be getting on the road.”

“Where are you going?” Ramon questioned.

“I’m moving to LA,” Eddie said. “I’ll be staying with Abuela while I search for a house. Chris isn’t ever coming back to El Paso for any single reason as long as I can prevent it. I will work to prevent it even after he’s an adult. There’s nothing here for either of us.”

“You’re following Shannon to LA?” Helena asked in shock. “That’s pathetic, Eddie! She abandoned you!”

“Shannon isn’t in LA,” Eddie pointed out. “I’m moving because I want to, and I don’t care what you think about it. I mean, that should be obvious since I didn’t consult you once the whole time I planned it. In fact, Pepa came here specifically to help me move and to take Chris back to LA with her. I expect the house to sell quickly, and I don’t need to be here for it—so I’m leaving today.” He motioned toward his truck.

“And you weren’t going to say a word to us? Is that what that pod was for? You’re leaving the state? I thought Shannon had finally decided to have her things shipped to her,” Ramon said and shook his head. “Well, you can’t sell the house. I won’t allow it.”

“Allow it?” Eddie laughed. “How are you going to prevent it?”

“You’re going to need a place to come back to when you fail in LA,” Helena said and glanced toward his father. “Your sister can rent the house while you’re gone. Her lease is almost up, and she needs more room. The house will be perfect for her, and you can give her a good rental price.”

“Adriana can buy her own damn house,” Eddie snapped. “And this house is going to be sold so I can provide for Christopher. I’m not going to suffer with less, and neither is my son, so your golden child can continue to flit through her life with as little responsibility as possible.”

“You can get a job or two in LA,” Helena said dismissively. “Your sister deserves to live in a good neighborhood. You’re going to rent to her. I won’t have it any other way.”

“I’m selling it.” Eddie looked up as Jacy’s car entered his driveway and sighed. “The real estate agent is here, and you need to go. I’ve got twelve hours of driving ahead of me, and I really don’t want to spend another minute more in El Paso than I have to.”

Ramon glared at him. “You’ll do what your mother told you, or we’re done! I’ll disown you.”

“Dios, do you promise?” Eddie asked in a tone just short of desperate. “Because that would be fucking great.”

Jacy came up the walk at a bit of a waddle, one hand on her pregnant belly. “Ready to get on the road?”

“Am I ever,” Eddie said and pulled the house keys from his pocket. “I’ve changed all the locks, and these are the only keys per your instructions. I updated the security system with the passcode you requested, and the monitoring is paid through the end of December. And I left instructions on the kitchen table about setting a new passcode for it as needed. I’ve also notified the monitoring company that the house is for sale and that you’re the current point of contact for any issues.

“These are my parents, Ramon and Helena Diaz. They have absolutely no say in the sale of my house. If they attempt to interfere in any single way, please feel free to call the police.” He focused on his father. “This is Jacy Graham. I went to high school with her and her husband. I expect you both to leave her alone. She’s doing me a favor with this and doesn’t deserve your bullshit.”

Jacy raised an eyebrow as she took the keys. “Update your Insta often, so we know you’re safe on the road.” She patted his arm. “Thanks for the business. I have two showings in the next three days and a third on Monday. All three small families with just the right budget. The disability features in the bathrooms are turning out to be a serious plus. I expect to close within the month, but I’ll keep you in the loop.” She glanced briefly at his parents. “It was…interesting meeting you both.”

Ramon glared at Eddie as Jacy went back to her car quickly and left.

“Do you honestly think I’d harass a pregnant woman?”

“Yes,” Eddie said plainly. “Evidenced by the fact that you treated my very pregnant wife like shit any time she said or did something you didn’t like. You’re a sexist asshole, and you’re probably thinking that Jacy shouldn’t even be working right now since she’s showing, and you think visibly pregnant people should stay home, so you don’t have to see them.”

He pulled his keys from his pocket and focused on his mother. “I see you…thinking and trying to work it around in your head. But you’ve not had a single bit of influence over my decisions since I was a teenager. I don’t care what you want, Mom. I haven’t cared in a very long time. I’ve come to realize that you’re cruel and manipulative. I don’t trust you on any single level at this point, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it or make me fall in line.”

“I told you that your family was going to poison him against us,” Helena hissed and glared at Ramon. “Look what they’ve done! We barely got to see Christopher, to begin with! Now your mother has him like she always wanted Edmundo!”

“I didn’t give my kid to Abuela,” Eddie snapped. “Dios, she’s seventy-one years old and couldn’t possibly take care of his needs long-term. He requires a lot of physical care, and Christopher needs a primary caregiver that can pick him up and carry him when necessary. He’s only going to get heavier as he gets older, which means you aren’t qualified to take care of him, either.” He stepped off the porch and headed for his truck.

“Where are you going? We aren’t finishing discussing any of this!” Helena protested.

“I was finished with this conversation before it started,” Eddie said. “Seriously, I’m so done.” He opened up the driver’s side door and turned to face his parents, who’d followed him to the driveway. “But I have a question, did you think the suppression of my soulmate mark was permanent? Is that what you were promised when you had it done?”

He watched the color drain from their faces and slid into the truck. “I’d rather not hear from either of you ever again.” Eddie pulled the door shut and locked it. His parents had parked behind him, but he had room to back up enough and drive right across his own front yard, which he did because fuck it. It still belonged to him for the moment, and his parents’ fury at being outmaneuvered was enjoyable enough on its own that he considered taking it up as a hobby.

* * * *

Buck tracked Eddie’s progress toward LA through the man’s Instagram posts. The welcome to New Mexico sign had been the first post after the airport picture, and Buck had been so relieved by the sight of it that he’d nearly cried. Eddie had extracted himself and Chris from El Paso quickly. Buck hadn’t allowed himself to drive by Isabel’s house because he didn’t want to look like a creep, and he trusted both Pepa and Isabel to take good care of Eddie’s son.

He was getting ready for bed when a picture at the California state line popped up. Eddie had taken a selfie at a rest stop, looking tired but also deeply fucking relieved. Buck knew that look well. Pepa had responded to the post with a series of emojis that had definitely come from Christopher. Buck had barely refrained from doing the same. He’d have no way of explaining his interest in some random guy from Texas with only friends and family as followers. More and more, he realized that time travel had made his life better and harder at the same damn time. How was he supposed to meet Eddie and treat him like a stranger?

Buck laid down on the bed with a huff, then saved Eddie’s rest stop picture before he could talk himself out of it. He’d started to drift off to sleep when his cell phone went off, so he plucked it from the mattress where it had fallen and checked the number, then answered quickly.

“Thomas? What’s wrong?”

“Doug Kendall is dead.”

Buck sat up as his heart started to race. “What? How…is Maddie okay?”

“Your sister appears to be appropriately upset,” Thomas said roughly. “I haven’t made direct contact with her. Based on what I could gather from neighbors, an ambulance was called to the house three hours ago, and he was removed by paramedics. Speculation was on an overdose. I found my way to the only badge and ladder bar in a fifty-mile radius, and it didn’t take me long to hear that some hotshot surgeon got suspended for narcotics theft, then went home and overdosed.”

Buck rubbed his sternum as he tried to figure out what to do next. Magic shifted against the pressure of his fingers and warmed slightly as if to offer him reassurance. It hadn’t taken much to burst Doug’s fragile bubble, but he thought maybe magic had helped that along a little, just like Fate said she would.

“I imagine that someone from around here is talking about it on social media,” Thomas said. “You might find a reference or mention that you could use an excuse to reach out to your sister. Might have to wait for a news article. It’d be easy to claim you read local news for your hometown. Your sister won’t know any different.”

“No, you’re right. She wouldn’t,” Buck said. “Thanks, Thomas. I…just thank you for going. I think you can come back to LA now.”

“I’ll stick around a few days to make sure the death continues to be considered self-inflicted. I don’t think they could make a case that your sister forced him to take pills, considering the size difference, but domestic violence is going to be a factor in the investigation. Whether it merely garners sympathy or makes them suspicious is up for debate.”

“Yeah, that’s…good.” Buck exhaled slowly. “I was so worried that…interfering could get her hurt or outright killed, you know? This feels like the best-case scenario, but also, she has to be traumatized.”

“Or maybe she’s just deeply fucking relieved,” Thomas said dryly. “Don’t pile grief onto the woman until you know what’s going on with her. I think an invitation to California would do her a world of good, though.”

“Agreed,” Buck murmured. “I’ll think about it. I don’t want to put undue pressure on her considering the circumstances. Thanks, Thomas. I’m grateful you’re there.”

“I bought ten pounds of cheap chocolate yesterday,” Thomas confessed.

“And now I’m ashamed to be associated with you,” Buck said with a laugh.

“Try to get some sleep, kid.” Thomas ended the call with that, and Buck considered how much effort he’d have to go through to teach the old dude some proper phone etiquette.

Buck left the bed and went in search of his laptop. It took twenty minutes of browsing through accounts of people that he knew from Hershey before he found someone talking about the suicide of Maddie Buckley’s husband. The asshole who’d posted the gossipy, lurid story had tried to tag him, but Buck didn’t allow tags at all on Instagram. He’d turned that off shortly after that first video went viral and was glad to have considered that.

Maddie hadn’t accepted a phone call from him in years, and at one point, he’d promised himself to just never call her again. In retrospect, Buck didn’t understand why he’d allowed his sister to ghost him for years and never bring it up once she came back into his life. He knew why she’d done it and had even forgiven her, but she’d never really asked for that.

Buck closed the laptop and put his phone on charge, then went back to bed. He wasn’t going to chase his sister. Per habit for the time period, he’d pick up a postcard and drop it in the mail to her with an update on what was going on with him. If she wanted to see him, then she had no excuse to stay where she was now. But, staying where she was would prevent her from meeting Howard fucking Han, and that was worth the continued lack of connection as far as Buck was concerned. If she came to LA, he’d make sure she never heard a good word about the man. The last thing she needed was a less crazy version of Doug Kendall in her life.

 

 

Chapter 5

The first time around, he’d avoided working extra shifts anywhere but the 118 until well past his probationary period. But he felt like that hadn’t done him any favors and hadn’t allowed him to build up relationships with other captains. If he had, he didn’t think Bobby would’ve been so successful at keeping him off the job after his recovery from the ladder truck bombing. So, he’d thrown his name into the rotation for extra shifts without thinking about it over much.

An early morning injury had resulted in Buck grabbing his second set of turn-outs from the 118 and heading over to Captain Franklin’s B shift team at the 133. He didn’t know any of them, and that was fine. He normally got along with strangers. Slotting into the workflow of another station was a little tricky, so upon arrival, he’d asked the captain where he was needed and admitted that he’d been informally seconded to the engineer for his shift at the 118. He was immediately directed that way with a laugh. It should’ve been concerning, but the environment at the 133 was very relaxed and warm.

The firefighter engineer for the shift was an older man named Henry Wayne, with twenty-plus years on the job. He was also in charge of the meals for that particular shift, so Buck found himself in a familiar position in the kitchen doing lunch prep. He had very good knife skills, so he made quick work of everything that was tossed his way.

“Good job, Buck,” Henry said. “Cap, can we keep him?”

“You want to take on Bobby Nash in a bare-knuckle fistfight over his baby firefighter, you go right ahead and try,” Franklin said dryly from where he sat at the table working on a tablet. “He already went head to head with Mehta and Jenkins when Buckley left the academy.”

Buck flushed and focused on dicing the onions when a couple were dropped on the cutting board. “The 118 gets a lot of cast-off SAR from the 56, so he’s had to work hard to recruit heavy rescue assets to meet our station mandate. Plus, he had to get rid of a bunch of toxic jackholes.”

Henry laughed. “Not telling us anything—that station was ripe with issues before Nash came in. It was good to see it cleaned up. A shift was the worst, but the rest weren’t much better, so Nash was a catalyst of sorts for the whole station.” He glanced at Buck. “How are your stir fry skills?”

“A little above basic,” Buck said. “I love Chinese food, but I avoid take-out, so I’ve been learning to make my own as much as possible. I have a decent Thai game, as well. Also, I’m working my way toward Japanese and sushi.”

“Maybe I’ll just follow you home,” Henry said and winked.

Buck laughed and flushed a little.

“Don’t corrupt him either,” Franklin warned.

“He’d have to work pretty hard to introduce me to anything legal I haven’t already tried two or three times,” Buck admitted, and both men laughed.

“Start the onions and garlic, then. I have the chicken ready, and we’ve a few bags of frozen veg to add. I’ll pull them from the freezer now,” Henry patted Buck’s shoulder as he passed him.

“Hey, Chief.”

Buck turned and found Chief Gael Alonzo standing not far from Captain Franklin. He shared a look with Henry but went back to the work he’d been assigned.

“Buckley,” Franklin called out and motioned him across the room. The layout for 133 made him miss the lofted space at the 118 a lot. There was nowhere to hide.

“Sirs.” Buck glanced between the two men as he joined them a few feet away from the gathering of sofas where most of the shift was sprawled. “Is there a problem?”

“A woman claiming to be your sister is looking for you,” Alonzo said. “Considering your profile, the matter was kicked up to my office. You don’t have anyone listed as next-of-kin. This is a copy of her license we requested that she provide. She did it without protest. Maddie Buckley Kendall.” The chief offered his phone.

Buck took the phone and stared at the photo of his sister’s ID. “I…yeah, that’s my sister. I haven’t seen her since I was eighteen. Do you know what she wants?”

“Just your contact information, as far as I know,” Alonzo said. “I had my admin verify her ID with the LAPD and run a check on her to make sure she wasn’t bringing trouble your way. There is an active police investigation, and your sister is a material witness. Her husband overdosed two days ago and died.”

“Right. He…hated me. So, I wasn’t welcome, you know?”

“I understand,” Alonzo said. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and offered it as Buck returned his phone. “Her cell phone number and email address. We told her that you were on shift and might not be able to take or make a call until tomorrow. Give yourself some room and wait until you’re home to make contact. It’ll be easier, maybe.”

“Thank you, sir.” Buck pushed the paper into his pocket. “And I apologize for the inconvenience.”

“Ah, well, none of that. The LAFD is a family, and that includes your sister. Also, it gave me an excuse to come by, and thank you for being so courteous with the PR department. They tell me you’re managing that viral crap with a surprising amount of grace for your age and experience on the job. Great work with the bridge. Even on my best day, I doubt I could’ve made that catch.”

“I got lucky,” Buck said.

“No, you didn’t,” Franklin interjected. “That was…beyond luck.”

Buck made a face, and both men laughed. “Also, he hit on me before I even got him over the railing.”

Alonzo grinned. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Have a good shift, gentlemen.”

Buck returned to the kitchen area, studiously avoiding the rest of the team, who hadn’t even pretended to ignore the conversation.

“Sorry about your brother-in-law.”

“He was a piece of shit,” Buck muttered without looking at Henry as he washed his hands. “Controlling, unreasonable, and he didn’t want my sister to have anyone but him. Overdosing was the favor he owed the whole damn world, and I know I shouldn’t feel that way…but….” He shrugged and picked up the wooden spatula, then transferred the wok back to the stove.

“Did he hit her?” Henry questioned.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if he had,” Buck said. “She hasn’t said it, and I was young the last time I saw her. I didn’t have the frame of reference to even ask that kind of question.” He frowned. “He had a foot of height on her and about seventy pounds. I suppose the size difference doesn’t matter—a bully is a bully. But she’s…just very petite.”

“Some people aren’t worth the air they breathe,” Henry said. “You’ll learn to keep that separate on the job.”

“I’d have saved his evil ass if I had been there, and it could have been done,” Buck said huffily. “I’d have just been really unhappy about doing it.”

Franklin snorted as he came up between them. “Compartmentalization is good for you, Buckley. But we all know that one person we wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.”

Buck knew several, but he kept it to himself.

* * * *

“You know what you need?” Henry asked.

Buck shuddered as the older man pinned him to the door. He knew he had no business whatsoever following Henry Wayne home. But he was hot as hell, and Buck was bone-deep lonely. He knew from experience that sex would make him feel better, and he didn’t owe anyone anything. Months were stretching out between him and meeting Eddie for the first time. And Maddie was looming on the horizon, and Buck didn’t regret anything he’d done or had done when it came to Doug Kendall, but he wasn’t sure he wanted the stress of his sister in his life right now.

“Yeah, I mean, that’s why I followed you home when you made it overtly clear that I could,” Buck responded with a laugh. “And the whole shift saw it. How do you feel about that?”

“I’m about to bag a really hot guy half my age,” Henry murmured and tugged on Buck’s belt. “They’re all super proud of my superior game right now.”

“Well, less than that. I’m twenty-six.” He let his hands drop to Henry’s hips and stared for a moment. “You’re in your late thirties, right?”

“Thereabouts,” Henry murmured and pulled Buck’s belt loose from his jeans. “You lookin’ for a daddy?”

“No.” Buck wet his lips. “But I am looking to get my brains fucked out.”

“Deal.” He snagged the hem of Buck’s t-shirt and started to pull it up.

Buck took a deep breath and wondered if he should allow it. He didn’t normally, but He really wanted as much contact as possible. “I….”

Henry stilled, and their gazes met. “Change your mind? You’ve been with a man before, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Buck took a deep breath. “I have a soulmate mark—it’s a heart placement. People get a little stupid sometimes about it.”

“I won’t,” Henry promised but released the shirt and snagged Buck’s hand.

Buck allowed himself to be led through the apartment, avoiding the pictures scattered all over the place. He knew that Henry Wayne was divorced, but not much more than that. He’d heard it at the station when he’d been working out—probably discussed in front of him on purpose, as Henry’s team hadn’t been above helping him score, apparently. But Buck didn’t care. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on a chair just inside the bedroom, and sat to take off his boots. It was hard not to watch Henry move around, undressing casually, gathering supplies, and finally tossing the duvet on the floor.

Buck shucked his jeans and boxers in one go and left them on the floor next to his boots and socks.

“You’re one pretty bastard, Buckley,” Henry said and shook his head. His gaze flicked briefly toward the soulmate mark. “I don’t have one. How do you know it’s not just a birthmark?”

Buck touched his actual birthmark as he walked toward the bed. “A soulmate mark sort of throbs when you touch it. It’s supposed to glow when your soulmate touches it. I wouldn’t know personally, of course. I’m registered, but I don’t really like to discuss it. Only a few people at the 118 know I have one. I dress in private.”

“No one’s going to hear it from me,” Henry said. “Get on the bed and prep your hole for me.”

Buck’s mouth went dry, but he snagged the lube and crawled onto the bed. If the man wanted a show, he’d give him one. Henry joined him and knelt between the spread of Buck’s legs as he slicked fingers and worked them quickly into his own ass. He masturbated before work, so he wasn’t going to have to do as much prep as he normally would.

“I used a plug yesterday,” Buck confessed, and Henry grinned. “Still had it in when the department called me to come in as a replacement.” He added a third finger and spread his legs wider when Henry rolled on a condom and slicked it up.

“How do you want this?”

Buck knew he should get on his knees and make it a little less personal, but that wasn’t what he needed. So, he motioned the other man forward and welcomed the weight with a pleased groan.

“Jesus,” Henry muttered against Buck’s mouth as he pushed in. “It’s a good thing I won’t have to look at you on the regular, darlin’.”

Buck laughed and used his clean hand to grip Henry’s neck. “Come on, fuck me. You’ve been promising me this since we met yesterday.”

“Not gonna deny it,” Henry said and started to move.

He loved being fucked as much as he loved to fuck, and having another man on top of him was something he’d denied himself in the other timeline after he’d met Eddie. Buck couldn’t even say why and didn’t want to dissect that while he was getting exactly what he wanted. Henry was strong, his body thick with muscle, and Buck honestly couldn’t have picked a better temporary solution to his lifelong problem if he’d tried.

A big calloused hand wrapped around his cock, and Henry started to work him toward orgasm in every single direction.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Henry agreed. “I got you.”

Buck shuddered, hooked his legs around Henry’s waist, and got a pleased groan for his trouble. “Men are all the same with that.”

“It’s no man’s fault you’re all leg,” Henry said with a grin and brushed a sweet kiss against his mouth.

It got a little rough after the kiss as if Henry was trying to erase the softness he’d demonstrated, and Buck understood that, so he encouraged every bone-rattling moment of it. The hot drag of a thick cock in his ass was absolutely what he needed, and he was relieved he hadn’t had to resort to finding some dick in a shady bar.

He came hard, and Henry followed after a few thrusts.

“Jesus.” Henry pulled free carefully and rolled off of him. “You can use my shower if you want.” He sat up and rubbed his head. “Breakfast?”

“Yes, to the shower, but I prefer a protein shake for an after-shift meal,” Buck admitted and grinned when Henry made a disgusted face at him. He left the bed and stretched. “Thanks for that—it was exactly what I needed.”

“Yeah, well, if you need it again—you’ve got my cell,” Henry said and grinned when Buck hummed under his breath. “No offense taken if you don’t.”

“You won’t get attached, right?” Buck questioned and raised an eyebrow when Henry scoffed.

“You aren’t that pretty, Buckley.”

“Liar,” Buck accused with a laugh as he gathered his clothes and headed into the en suite.

* * * *

“Daddy.”

“Hey,” Eddie said and shifted across the mattress so his son could crawl onto the bed. “Sleep well?”

“Great,” Chris declared. “Abuelita is making me crepes with strawberries inside.”

“Your abuelita is spoiling you rotten,” Eddie muttered and tugged on a curl when Chris laughed. “We’ve got two school tours today. If you don’t like either of them, we can keep looking, so don’t just accept something because you think you should.”

Chris chewed his bottom lip briefly. “Is…it going to be expensive?”

“It would be, but I’ve got an application in for an educational grant from the state. California has some great programs that will help me pay for the stuff you need, including a special babysitter.”

“Special?”

“A nurse,” Eddie said, and Christopher made a horrified face. “Listen, Mijo.” He sat up when Chris huffed dramatically. “I want you to have the best possible care, and that means finding someone who can help you when I’m not at home. He or she will be able to help you with physical therapy and will understand the issues surrounding your CP. We’ll find a really nice one, okay?”

“I’m not sick, Daddy.”

“No, but you do have needs that weren’t really being taken care of with the babysitter service we had in El Paso,” Eddie said gently. “One of those girls could barely pick you up when you needed her to.”

“She only came once.”

Because he’d fired her, Eddie thought but didn’t say. He wouldn’t want Chris to feel guilty. “I promise to make a very good choice for you, okay?”

“I trust you, Daddy,” Chris declared and pressed his lips together briefly. “Where did you go yesterday?”

Eddie hesitated and took a deep breath. “I had an appointment with a witch.”

“A real witch?” Chris questioned. “Daddy, it would’ve been awesome to meet a witch! They’re so cool on TV.”

“Well, he was nothing like what you see on TV,” Eddie said with a laugh. “But he helped me with something.” He pulled off his shirt and dropped it in his lap. His soulmate mark wasn’t visible yet, but he could feel it. “I have a soulmate mark, Mijo.”

“Where?” Chris questioned. “You never told me! Is that why you’re divorcing Mommy?”

“I didn’t know until recently,” Eddie said. “I had a dream…about it, recently, and I realized my soulmate mark had been suppressed.” He tapped his heart. “It’s here.”

Chris reached out but then stilled.

“It’s okay.” He stayed still until his son’s small hand was resting against his heart. To his surprise, his soulmate mark started to get warm.

Chris’ eyes widened with shock. “I…. Wow, Daddy. Your soulmate feels so nice.”

Eddie smiled because he wasn’t sure it worked exactly that way, but Buck was one of the best people he’d ever met in his life, so Chris wasn’t wrong.

Chris let his hand drop with a frown. “How will we find them if we can’t see your mark? Who did this to you, Daddy? They need to go to jail.”

Eddie found he couldn’t lie, and he took a deep breath. “My parents did it when I was a baby. The witch found the spell work and documented it for me so I could report them and get them in a lot of trouble.”

“You should!” Chris exclaimed hotly. “They abused you, Daddy.” His hands tightened into fists. “They’re hateful!”

Eddie gathered his son up in his arms, and Chris stayed stiff with fury for several long moments before he slumped against his chest. He pressed a kiss against his son’s forehead. “I’m getting help, okay? And my dream…. I dreamt about my soulmate, so I know who he is. I’m going to try to meet him soon, but I don’t want to freak him out.”

Chris huffed. “I guess you just can’t walk up to him and tell him, right?”

“Right,” Eddie agreed with a smile. “If my dream is true, he’s going to be great. I want to get it right.”

“I hope your dream is really, really true,” Chris said. “It’s time for breakfast!”

* * * *

Maybe it was some kind of awful destiny, Eddie thought wryly as Ana Flores offered him her hand in greeting. He released her hand as quickly as he could. The tour of Durand hadn’t gone the same as it had last time since he hadn’t had Carla to ask questions, and Christopher…hadn’t been exactly thrilled with the programs being offered for first and second grade. He’d liked the school in the dream, but maybe that had just been the result of him being in a crowded LA public school before going to Durand.

“How do you like Durand so far?” Ana Flores questioned with a glance toward Principal Adamson, who had introduced them as they’d come across the teacher in the hall.

Chris leaned into him, and Eddie put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “We’re touring several schools so Chris gets an environment that will provide him with the kind of activities and intellectual stimulation he needs. He’s very interested in a STEAM program.”

“STEM,” Ana corrected.

“No, STEAM,” Eddie said. “We’re not interested in any programs that don’t allow for the arts as well.” He watched her cheeks flush a little at being corrected and remembered belatedly that she hated that, no matter how often she did it to others.

“I was telling Mr. Diaz that we have art and music classes as electives starting in the fourth grade,” Principal Adamson explained.

“It’s a good point in a child’s development for art education to begin,” Ana agreed. “It’s about maturity, and sophisticated concepts aren’t suited for small children.”

Eddie barely refrained from frowning at them both because he distinctly remembered art classes when he was in kindergarten. Granted, it had just been finger painting, but creativity had been encouraged very early when he was younger.

Chris pressed against him harder, and Eddie focused on his son. “I’m ready to go, Daddy.”

“Okay, Mijo, we’ll get the brochure Principal Adamson promised and take a break for lunch.”

Chris nodded. “Italian?”

“Italian,” Eddie agreed and focused on Principal Adamson, who looked startled. “Ma’am?”

“Yes, of course,” she said.

“I could give you my card,” Ana offered. “If you have further questions, Mr. Diaz.”

“I won’t, but thanks,” Eddie said curtly and guided his son around the teacher.

“Your son’s interest in the arts must be ardent,” Principal Adamson said as they walked.

“My need to make sure my son’s interests aren’t limited is ardent,” Eddie corrected. “He loves to read and draw as much as he enjoys building things and doing experiments. He was in a public school in El Paso, and it was….”

“Boring,” Christopher supplied. “And sad. And boring.”

Principal Adamson’s mouth quirked gently in a smile as she glanced at Christopher. “I see.”

“I like music, too. I think I want to learn to play an instrument. Maybe guitar or piano.” Chris glanced at Eddie. “If that’s…okay? Am I mature enough?”

Eddie sent the principal a dark look and found her looking startled. “At your age, Mijo, wanting to learn something and enjoying it are the most important parts. Okay?”

“Okay,” Chris said happily and looked around the lobby. “Can I go look out the window?”

“Don’t go out the doors,” Eddie said and watched his son cross the marble floor of the school lobby, then focused on the principal.

“You won’t need a brochure, will you?”

“No, I won’t,” Eddie said. “From the outside, our school is attractive. The education policies are well-considered, and I like the small class size. But I don’t think the structure would suit Christopher at this point in his life. Plus, I’m curious to know why there isn’t a single magical theory class offered in any grade year? I went to public school and was taught magical theory starting in the third grade.”

The older woman stiffened and made a disgusted face. “The choice was made not to allow such things at Durand. We focus on science and the tangible elements of the world. It’s what we can depend on, Mr. Diaz.”

Eddie nodded and wondered when Dr. Summers would take over Durand. He’d liked her and had been kind of startled to meet a different principal for the school. “You’re retiring soon, right?”

Her eyes widened. “Yes…how did you know that? I haven’t told the school board my decision yet.”

He smiled. “I had a dream about it. It’s nice to have tangible proof, though, so thank you.”

“Genuine prophetic dreams are a rare gift,” she said stiffly. “I hope they have helped you in your life, Mr. Diaz. It is a shame you’ve chosen to no longer serve your country.”

“Taking three bullets and breaking several bones at the same time has a way of taking you out of the service before it is desired,” Eddie said evenly, and her cheeks darkened with a blush. He hoped she was ashamed of herself. “Have a good day.”

Chris waited until Eddie was buckling him into the truck before he frowned and said, “No.”

Eddie laughed. “Agreed. I don’t think the principal has…a broad enough perspective for us.”

Christopher nodded quickly. “If we wanted narrow brains, Daddy, we’d have stayed in Texas!”

“There was certainly a lot of narrow there,” Eddie agreed as he got in the driver’s seat and shut the door. “Let’s pick up some food and take it home to Abuela.” He passed his phone over the seat. “Call her and see what she’d like.”

* * * *

Buck activated the speaker as the call connected.

“Evan?”

“Hey, Mads,” Buck said quietly. “Sorry to just be calling now. I had a long shift.”

“It’s okay,” Maddie said and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t find the notebook where I wrote down your number. Doug probably threw it away. He deleted it off my phone years ago, and I can’t remember numbers for shit.” She took a deep breath. “Chief Alonzo was very nice to me when we spoke. He said that you are a valued and respected member of the LAFD. I puffed up with so much pride over here I’m surprised I didn’t burst.”

Buck laughed briefly but then cleared his throat. “Because they were looking out for me, the department had the LAPD look into you and told me what was going on.”

“Oh.” Maddie exhaled noisily. “Doug’s dead. He got caught stealing narcotics from the hospital where he worked. I knew he was taking pills, but I thought he had a friend writing him a prescription. I think maybe there was a prescription at one time, but he must have gotten cut off. Regardless, he got caught, and the hospital said they were going to file charges. Tens of thousands of dollars of drugs are missing. They’d been mislabeled as expired and falsely reported as destroyed. There must be a pharmacy tech involved as well. I think he was having an affair with her because she’s been awkward around me. She called me ugly crying about his overdose, and got upset when I told her I wasn’t planning a memorial service. I suggested she call his parents.”

“I’m sorry, Maddie. Do you need me to come there? I can arrange time off.”

“No, please. It’s awful here. I’m going to leave as soon as I can. Doug’s parents are insisting on an autopsy, and they’re threatening to sue the hospital for false accusations. Unfortunately for them, Doug arrogantly admitted to the theft. He told the administrator that the hospital owed him the pills and that they had no business questioning him.”

“Fucker,” Buck muttered.

“Doug had an immense god complex,” Maddie said. “His parents are blaming me. I wasn’t at home when Doug overdosed.” She paused and sighed. “But I did find him—I went for coffee with friends, and he called me after I got off work. He seemed okay. I could tell he was angry, and part of me just didn’t want to come home at all. He’d been storming around the house since he was suspended, and it was really difficult to keep him happy.”

Buck considered that and wondered if Maddie had realized that Doug was in trouble and let him die. If she had, he couldn’t blame her and wouldn’t press her on the details. “How can I help?”

“Find me an apartment in LA?” Maddie questioned. “I’m going to settle everything here and sell the house. A condo wouldn’t be a bad thing, but I don’t want a lawn to take care of. I’ll need two bedrooms and something that allows pets.”

“Two?” Buck questioned as he snagged a notebook from the center of his table and picked up a pen. “What kind of pet?”

“I have a cat,” Maddie said quietly. “And I’m pregnant…just over ten weeks. Doug wanted me to terminate, so I’d scheduled an abortion, but now I don’t…have to do that. I canceled it. I’m going to start looking for a job in the area today. The house will sell for a lot, so I’ll have plenty of money to buy outright.” She took a deep breath. “Plus, Doug’s life insurance, as long as his death is ruled accidental and not a suicide. But he was so fucking narcissistic, there’s no way he killed himself on purpose.”

Hekate shifted around in his chest, and Buck acknowledged that Doug had certainly had a bit of a push on that front. He didn’t care because Fate had told him that magic would help him resolve the issue with Doug Kendall, and they’d both certainly delivered. “What’s your cat’s name?”

“Oh….” Maddie laughed. “Leeloo. She’s a Persian. Doug gave her to me for Christmas last year.”

Probably as some sort of weapon to use against her, Buck thought but kept it to himself.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come there and help you settle everything? Help you pack?”

“I’m going to sell everything but my clothes and some personal stuff,” Maddie said. “I just don’t want anything else from this house. And no, you shouldn’t have to come back and endure our parents’ bullshit.”

“What are they up to?” Buck asked curiously.

“They’re just being themselves,” Maddie said tiredly. “Mom’s acting like the world has ended and actually posted this giant self-serving post on Facebook about the loss of her beloved son-in-law.”

“She hated Doug,” Buck said in confusion. “Overtly. She wore black to your wedding and loudly sobbed like she was at a funeral.”

Maddie snorted, then started to laugh. “Oh, God, Doug was so furious, and his parents were mortified by her behavior. I was embarrassed at the time, but now it just amuses the shit out of me.”

“I’ll gather some listings so we can tour some places when you get here,” Buck said. “I have a real estate agent I trust. She just helped me buy a house.”

“Mom called me bitching up a storm because you moved your trust fund. She couldn’t touch it, but she enjoyed monitoring it.”

“Do you still have yours?”

“Yeah, I never told Doug it even existed, and mom encouraged me to hide it. She said I needed an escape fund. She wasn’t wrong. I should’ve left him years ago. I regretted not going with you when you asked, Evan. I’m sorry for it. I can’t begin to explain….”

“When did he start hitting you?”

Her breath hitched. “How did you…. Not until we were married. I don’t want to talk about it, Evan.”

“Maddie, I love you,” Buck said quietly. “With all of my heart, but if you’re coming to LA and you want to be a part of my life on an everyday basis, I need you to be honest with yourself and get the counseling you’ve needed since you were a teenager.”

“I don’t need therapy….”

“Yes, you do,” Buck snapped. “Stop letting our mother live rent-free in your head. She’s a hell beast, honestly, and the best thing I did for my mental health was to throw myself at a therapist. I’ve had to unpack a lot of shit, and some of that I’ll want to talk to you about, eventually. Right now, that’s not even possible because you’re in a bad place mentally. You’ve been in that bad place for longer than…well…probably since childhood, right?”

He was met with silence, then a soft sob.

“Yeah, it’s been…it’s hard to make myself be happy.”

“Oh, Mads, don’t you know you shouldn’t have to make yourself be anything?” Buck questioned gently. “I’d love for you to be here with me in LA. I just need to know that it’s going to be part of a journey of recovery and healing for you.”

“Okay,” Maddie said quietly. “Could you get your therapist to recommend a psychiatrist? I want to be a part of your life, and letting Doug separate us was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced. And I want you to be a part of my baby’s life. I need…you, Evan. I need us to be a family because we can’t trust our parents.”

“What else have they done besides act like your husband’s overdose is about them?” Buck asked warily.

“Mom said I should go through with the abortion because I’ll be an awful mother,” Maddie said quietly. “She offered to take me—just like she did the….”

Buck closed his eyes. “Maddie. How many times?”

“Three,” Maddie whispered. “He made me get rid of three pregnancies. Mom drove me to all the appointments because he couldn’t be bothered. It’s the only thing they ever agreed on—I’m useless and won’t be a good mother.”

“You are an amazing mother,” Buck said quietly. “I’m sitting here, literal proof of it. Because Margaret Buckley didn’t do a damn thing to raise me. It was you and a nanny. I have no memories of her as a little kid doing anything for me. I lived on cereal and microwave meals after you left home, you know. I’m surprised I managed to stay as healthy as I did. I wouldn’t be half the man I am without you. So, you need to get their crap out of your head before your baby gets here. They deserve a healthy and happy mom.”

“I know you’re right,” Maddie said. “I just…I know, okay? And I promise I’ll start working myself.”

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