Reading Time: 128 Minutes
Title: Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
Series: Over the Mountain Across the Sea
Series Order: 4
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Romance, Kid!fic, Slash
Relationship(s): Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Discussion-Sexual Assault, Discussion-Violence, Discussion-Combat Injuries, Toxic Family Dynamics, Character Bashing, Explicit Sex, Attempted Murder, OC Character Death, Ableism
Author Note: The discussion of sexual assault is not explicit but the event happened between a fifteen-year-old and an adult old enough to be their parent. Please note that the warnings encompass the entire series and I’ve them made the same on each part just to make sure. Take care with yourself. Brief appearance of Ray Gaines from the movie San Andreas.
Word Count: 31,898
Summary: Love is the biggest risk he could’ve ever taken with his heart and Buck knows it. A threat comes at his family in a way he’d never expected possible and the ramifications ripple throughout their lives.
Artist: Tintalle
Part One
The last thing he’d expected was for Micky Mouse to make Christopher burst into tears. The person in the costume didn’t appear startled as he’d just backed off completely with a little wave as Buck had gathered their son up off the ground and left the scene of the crime at a trot. Eddie picked up Christopher’s crutches, still flabbergasted, and started to follow.
“It happens all the time.”
He turned and found a beautiful young woman in a princess gown offering him a smile. He wasn’t up on Disney princesses, so he had no idea who she was supposed to be. “He seemed excited to meet characters today.”
“Mickey’s a big guy, and some of the bigger characters are overwhelming for the little guys. Maybe I’ll be up his alley,” she said and tilted her head. She had sparkling barrettes in her pale blond wig. “I think I can help him let it go.”
Eddie briefly considered faking knowledge. “I have no clue what that means.”
She laughed. “He’ll get it.”
“Sure,” Eddie said and motioned her ahead of him. “His name is Christopher.”
She glided away in a swath of sparking white skirts to where Buck had sat down with Christopher on a bench. He noted that two security guards were focused on them. Eddie wondered if the character actors got mobbed by little kids or something.
The princess sat down beside Buck, and his husband sent him a startled look.
“Hi, Christopher.”
Christopher lifted his head off Buck’s shoulder, turned to look at her, and shouted, “Elsa!”
He glomped onto her despite Buck’s efforts, and the princess laughed as she hugged him back. Eddie glanced back at the security, and they were both smiling, so he relaxed. He wondered if he was allowed to take a picture. Elsa quickly arranged Christopher on her floof of skirts, and Buck slid off the bench.
“Okay, let’s take a picture together!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “Smile for your dads!”
Eddie took quite a few pictures rapidly in the hopes of getting a couple of decent shots. The young woman was incredibly photogenic, which was probably why she had the job she had.
It took them nearly five minutes to extract Elsa from their son’s grasp, but she was generous and sweet throughout the whole thing and even signed the little autograph book they’d gotten for him at the gift shop. By the time they’d sat down for lunch, Buck had made them a reservation to meet a princess named Anna, who was Elsa’s sister, and Eddie had decided he’d have to figure out where those two princesses came from and watch the movie when no one was looking.
Christopher plowed through his lunch, chatting about how pretty Elsa was and how he wanted a poster of her on his wall. Buck had promised to get him one before they left the park.
They’d had a little party the day before Christopher’s birthday, but the youngest kid in his family, in LA, was five years older than Christopher. It hadn’t exactly been the kind of party Eddie would’ve liked to have had for him, but Christopher was due to start school in just a few weeks, so they hoped that the next birthday would feature a stressful screaming-kid sort of affair.
Still, Christopher had been thrilled with the trip to Disneyland and hadn’t protested being carried often as the park was huge and the crowds had gotten thick at various attractions. If Eddie never got near the Tea Cup ride again, he’d be perfectly okay with it. He’d loved the Jungle Cruise but had lost the coin toss on the Dumbo ride. He hoped the pictures that Buck took came out okay. Though he planned to complain on principal because he’d had to ride around in a circle in a metal elephant.
They were in line for nearly thirty minutes to meet Anna, and she turned out to be a bright-eyed young woman with dark red hair and a sweet laugh. Unlike Elsa, it appeared Anna’s hair was natural and not a wig. When it was their turn, they took Christopher up to the little fenced-off area, Eddie put him down, and Buck handed him the crutches.
“Christopher,” Anna said warmly and held out her hands to him. “I’ve been waiting for you all afternoon. Elsa told me all about you!”
Eddie shared a look with Buck because Christopher laughed and blushed at the same time. He was absolutely not ready for his baby to start getting crushes on anyone. In what was fast becoming a habit, Christopher abandoned his crutches in favor of a hug. The princess laughed richly and settled down on her knees with no apparent care for her costume. Their reservation was for five minutes, and he took a stupid amount of pictures because it was adorable. Also, as a parent, he was convinced that it was his duty to gather evidence for future embarrassment purposes.
Unfortunately, the visit with Anna turned Christopher into a princess junkie, so they had to meet as many as they could. Eddie was going to have a really long talk with Buck about enabling their son, and also, the man was scarily good at hunting down Disney princesses on his phone.
* * * *
“He’s out like a light,” Buck said as he unbuckled Christopher’s harness. “Do you think he’s had enough to eat?”
“I think he ate as much as I did,” Eddie muttered as he pulled out the backpack they’d shared for the day and shouldered it. “And I’m actually stuffed.”
He watched as Buck carefully lifted Christopher out of the car seat. Eddie was struck then by how relieving it was to have a partner who could split the load on the physical care front. He and Shannon had spoken several times when Chris was a baby concerning the potential physical issues around their son’s care. Fortunately, Christopher’s mobility had alleviated many of her concerns, but as he watched Buck leave the garage in favor of the house, he wondered if those issues weighed on Shannon while he was gone.
By the time he verified the gate had closed properly and came into the house, Buck was guiding a very sleepy kid through brushing his teeth. They got him changed into pajamas together, and Christopher was nodding off again.
“I loved today,” Christopher said and yawned widely as he pulled off his glasses. “I liked all the princesses. I’m missing autographs, though. Next time we have to find Jasmine and Rapunzel.”
Buck laughed. “They liked you, too.”
“We can put my posters up tomorrow,” Christopher decided.
“Sure,” Eddie said and tucked blankets around the boy carefully. “Call out for us if you need to get up. You’re really tired and will probably be sore tomorrow. Let’s not take any fall risks, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy, I promise,” Christopher said and curled on his side to hug his pillow.
Eddie headed for the laptop he’d left on the breakfast bar so he could download all the pictures for safekeeping. By the time he’d done the transfer and put away his camera, Buck was in the shower, so he joined him. He crowded Buck against the tiled wall and pressed close.
Buck laughed. “If you actually have the energy for sex, then I definitely need to work on my stamina.”
Eddie just hummed under his breath and nuzzled Buck’s jaw. He was careful with it because he had a full beard, and keeping it trimmed didn’t do anything to prevent beard burn, and Buck had sensitive skin. Buck shuddered against him, hands clenching on Eddie’s shoulders.
“I love you,” Eddie said against Buck’s skin. “Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a dream world.”
“A dream world would hurt less,” Buck said quietly. “I don’t think we took enough breaks; how is your leg?”
“The muscle is a little tight in the leg,” Eddie said. “I’m okay. My shoulder is actually sore. I probably carried him more than I should’ve, but I felt weird leaving you with that all day.”
“My turnouts weigh more than he does, Eds,” Buck said and smiled when Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Seriously. He’s around forty pounds, right?”
“Yeah, something like that,” Eddie agreed.
“My turnout gear weighs anywhere from forty-five to seventy-five pounds if I’m carrying irons and an air cylinder,” Buck said and cupped Eddie’s hips. “You have no idea who Elsa is, right?”
Eddie huffed. “I recognized two of those princesses, Buck. Cinderella and Belle. The rest were a complete mystery.”
“Elsa and Anna are from the movie Frozen. It’s about sibling love and responsibility. I think it also has some great thematic points around female empowerment and platonic love. Falling in love with a man is not really central for either of them. Though I think Elsa is a queen, not a princess. The distinction doesn’t matter much to little kids, though.”
Since he was half-hard, Eddie moved a little closer and pressed his cock against Buck’s thigh. Buck made a soft, pleased sound and moved them around until Eddie was resting on the tile. He slid to his knees, and Eddie trembled as his husband started to suck his cock. He let his head fall back against the wall and cupped the back of Buck’s head with a hand. Buck groaned softly as Eddie’s fingers curled into his hair. He flexed his hips, and Buck’s fingers clenched on his ass as he swallowed around the head of Eddie’s cock.
“Fuck,” Eddie hissed and shuddered as he fought back the urge to come too quickly. “Evan.” His knees went weak, and Buck released his cock, then urged him down and into his lap.
Buck sat back on his heels as he sought a kiss. Eddie groaned into his mouth and wished they had lube in the shower. Buck worked one hand between them and used it to press their cocks together. Eddie shuddered.
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” Buck whispered against his cheek. “Every single day is better than the last.”
Eddie agreed, but he was beyond words as Buck jerked their cocks together. They were both slick with pre-cum, mostly Buck’s, as he did tend to get deliciously wet when he was aroused. He wrapped an arm around Buck’s shoulders and started to fuck into his hand. The press of their bodies together was absolutely perfect.
“That’s it,” Buck murmured. “Come for me.”
“Are you close?” Eddie questioned as he cupped Buck’s head and sought a brief kiss. They stayed close, mouth to mouth, breathing together as the pleasure built.
“Yeah, so close,” Buck confessed.
Eddie relaxed into an orgasm and shivered as Buck groaned harshly against his mouth, and he came with him. “You’re perfect.”
“You shouldn’t tell me stuff like that.” Buck smiled as he pulled back a bit. “My ego is quite healthy already.”
Eddie just laughed.
* * * *
Buck’s last weeks at the academy had seemed to fly by, and it was kind of weird to be in the final certification stages. All of the written tests were done, and he was going to graduate on top. He really didn’t care about the position, but some did. Job security was what mattered to him, and he’d made that clear up front with practically everyone. The situation with Sonny Donaldson was quiet for the moment, and he hoped it stayed that way.
The kid had ruined his chances at joining the LAFD, and Buck didn’t know what his chances were of successfully getting into a different academy for training in California. He didn’t know how far the misdemeanor conviction would follow him as his father hadn’t been able to prevent that, and there’d been a plea deal to avoid public scrutiny. Buck didn’t have a stake in the whole situation yet, so he’d kept his opinions to himself. Despite the bizarre fixation, Sonny hadn’t really done a damn thing but embarrass him. And he was genuinely embarrassed by the attention and situation overall.
The snap of wood above him caught his attention, and he snagged an iron beam so he could swing to the side as a piece of wood from the top of the climbing tower fell. Sae shouted from above him, so he braced a foot, bent his knees, and jumped to the next level in a maneuver he’d never demonstrated in front of the others. Dynamic moves were showy and mostly unnecessary outside of certain situations. He didn’t want to encourage dumb shit. He caught her harness in a firm grasp despite the fact that she was in no danger of falling since she was on a rope attached to one of the welded support structures on the tower. One of her hands was bleeding, which meant she was not rappelling down the tower herself.
“I got you,” Buck murmured as he clipped a tether to her harness and his own.
“And I’ve got a two-inch splinter,” she said and pulled a roll of medical tape from one of her pockets.
He held her easily while she wrapped the tape around her palm. “Not the best choice.”
“No, but it’ll probably keep the splinter from pushing all the way through my damn hand.” She huffed a little and glanced down. They were nearly forty feet up. “We should’ve asked about maintenance on these things.”
“Untreated wood will rot,” Buck said simply. “They probably replace these areas a few times a year, and they use raw lumber because it’s cheaper.”
“This is going to push my rope certification even further away,” she said sourly and pouted a little as he pulled the extra rope he’d brought up with him off his back and started to create a belay. “I’m glad it’s you up here, though.”
“You two okay?” Thomas questioned over the radio.
Sae activated her radio as Buck worked the rope into her harness. “Part of the structure broke off, and I’ve got a large splinter in my palm. Fortunately, it didn’t go all the way through.”
“I’m going to drop the rope to create a belay,” Buck said as Sae continued to hold the radio. “I’ve got her anchored. Let me know once you have the rope and you’re ready.”
“Understood,” Thomas said.
“It won’t feel natural,” Buck said. “But keep your other hand off the rope—the last thing you need is to injure it as well.”
She nodded.
“Okay,” Thomas said over the radio. “I’m ready for her.”
Buck unhooked the main rope keeping Sae on the tower. And after a few seconds, he removed the tether from his harness. She gave a nod, and he let go, then activated his radio. “She’s all yours, Thomas.”
He started his own climb down, taking his time and also keeping an eye on Sae’s rope since Thomas wasn’t rushing the belay down, which was good. There was no need to make her nauseous with a rapid drop on top of the hand injury.
Once on the ground, she tried to argue about treating herself, but Captain Wallace just ordered her to sit and accept help. Buck watched the treatment while Thomas teased her about being the only fully trained paramedic at the academy. Of course, she bossed Wallace around the whole time he was working and got downright cross when it was decided she’d have to go the emergency room for treatment since it was going to need stitches, and she’d admitted that she hadn’t had a tetanus shot in over ten years.
Buck made a note to get one from the general practitioner they’d made appointments with. They’d focused on Christopher first to make sure he hadn’t missed much physical therapy, and all of that was settled. Eddie had already been to a surgeon about the bullet in his leg. X-rays revealed that the bullet had broken into three different parts, and the surgeon wanted to move all of it. Fortunately, she didn’t believe it would be a difficult surgery, but one fragment was pressing on a nerve and causing damage, so their private insurance had agreed to pay for it.
Thomas volunteered to take Sae to the emergency room, so they were quickly dismissed for the day. Buck went back to the tower to pull down all of their ropes.
“Hey.”
Buck looked over and found one of the cadets, who’d been hired to work at the 56 standing nearby. “Hi.”
“Joel Morris,” the man said as he picked up one of the ropes and started to check it for damage. “That jump you made—what was that?”
“Dynamic movements are used to clear distances that you can’t reach physically. They’re also called dynos and are more common in closed, indoor environments since climbing walls are relatively safe and a fall won’t normally kill you.” He looped the rope he’d finished inspecting over his shoulders and started to coil it. “But there are times when a dyno is handy in natural environments if you can do it. Sometimes, it can save your life.”
“Or someone else’s,” Joel said.
“Yeah, but it’s not something I would encourage for the hell of it,” Buck said. “And some people don’t take rope work or climbing seriously enough.”
“No, that’s clear,” Joel said. “I joined that climbing center, and I’ve been taking lessons with one of their instructors who is also a firefighter with the Santa Monica Fire Department. She’s taught me a lot, but she’s never shown me something like that jump.”
“No, she wouldn’t because it’s not part of the certification process,” Buck said. “And you told her you wanted to get your rope cert, right?”
“I’m going for SARTECH II the next time it’s on offer in the area,” Joel explained. “You’ve been a real stand out here, Buck, and the LAFD is a career for me. I don’t want to stagnate in the job and get nowhere fast.”
“Are you considering SAR or something else?” Buck asked curiously.
“I don’t think I have the emotional bandwidth for paramedic,” Joel admitted. “Rescue is one thing, but it seems like they’ll get hit hard on the patient front. Apparatus operator and engineer are appealing because of the pay rate.”
“SAR vehicles require a dedicated operator,” Buck pointed out. “And they also need the SARTECH II and various other SAR certs in order to fully support the firefighters that ride on their apparatus. They’re also in heavy demand outside of the LAFD, like with FEMA. Of course, if leadership is your goal, then getting as many skills under your belt as you can will make you attractive for that.” He tied off his rope and dropped it in the equipment bag he’d brought out, and picked up the third rope. “It’s a career for me, too.”
“Seems like it has been for a while, though,” Joel said. “You came into this already qualified for everything but fire management.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve learned a lot here. I just had the training manuals in advance, so I studied them before classes started. I was in Texas waiting on some legal issues to be resolved. At any rate, I worked as a ski instructor in Aspen and did volunteer SAR with a former Battalion Chief from the LAFD. I had a lot of on-the-job training from him because he remains a taskmaster despite his retirement.”
“Evan Wayne, right? He’s a legend,” Joel said. “You’re practically as much of a legacy hire as his own son is.”
“That makes it sound like I didn’t earn my place here,” Buck said mildly.
“Nah, man, that’s not what I meant. Everyone sees how hard you work, and you’ve brought a lot of skill to every scenario we’ve come up on. Even today, you didn’t wait for orders to assist Sae before you moved fast to help her. Wallace just stopped and watched because he was seconds away from managing that whole situation for you.”
Buck considered that. “Should I have waited for orders?”
“No, in the field, your captain won’t have eyes on you at all times. He needs to be able to trust you to make good decisions.” Marcus Wallace said as he joined them. The man had a harness on and was frowning up at the tower. “Being able to think on your feet and act decisively is a skill we can’t really teach, Buck. I need to go up and check this thing for more issues.”
“Did you want a partner for the climb?” Buck questioned.
“Sure, Harold is on his way over here as well,” Marcus said and took a rope off his shoulder and dropped the bag he was carrying. “I’m going to want to pry any parts off that look iffy.” He opened the bag to reveal a collection of Halligans of various sizes.
“Does maintenance handle any of this?” Joel questioned curiously.
“I’ll bring in a crew to rebuild,” Marcus said. “But no, we don’t let maintenance climb this thing for any reason. They aren’t qualified for it.” He checked his watch. “The session is over, Morris, but you can stay if you’re curious.”
“I’ll watch,” Joel said. “I can start gathering up whatever you end up pulling down.”
“Just keep a head’s up,” Marcus said. “We’ll call out when we pull something off.”
Buck took a short Halligan out of the bag and hooked it into a loop on his harness for it, and got his rope ready as Captain Harold Remy joined them.
“Buckley’s going up with me, Harold,” Marcus said. “Morris volunteered to help with clean up.”
Remy nodded. “Sounds good. Cadet Bu needed four stitches. She’s a real trooper, though. Not gonna lie, I’d have probably cried.” He grinned when Buck laughed. “Seriously.”
“I stubbed my toe last week getting out of a pool,” Buck said. “I don’t know what’s worse—trying not to cry in front of my kid or trying not to curse in front of my kid. It was agonizing. I was half-convinced I broke it.”
“I broke my toe once,” Joel interjected. “I swear it hurt worse than when I broke my arm. You don’t even realize how much you use your toes until you can’t use one at all.”
“Climbing will make you very aware of your feet and toes,” Buck said as he threaded the rope back through his harness. “Especially with bouldering.”
“You do that, too?” Joel questioned.
“I can do it, but it’s not a favorite activity. My husband loves it, so I keep my skills up. We’ve joined the climbing wall facility, and it’ll be part of his rehab once we get the surgery done on his leg.”
“What kind of surgery is he getting?” Remy questioned.
“The Army left a bullet in his leg when they discharged him,” Buck said shortly. “It’s causing issues—pain, cramping, and isn’t healing properly. The VA doesn’t think it’s a problem because he’s mobile, and the pain is manageable.”
“That sucks,” Joel muttered. “They should treat our soldiers better than that. They give enough.”
“Some give everything they have,” Marcus said and shook his head. “Harold, we might as well call that construction company about a repair for this tower. I’ll put Buckley to work before we have to give him to Bobby Nash.”
Part Two
Buck wasn’t all that worried about his first day on the job, but he could tell that Sae was, as she’d been waiting in the parking lot for him. There was a steady stream of people leaving the station for the shift change, so they went through the open bay and found Thomas talking with someone at the stairs. He was already in uniform.
“It’s the military man in him,” Sae muttered and adjusted her bag on her shoulder as they came to a stop where Thomas was. “Hey.”
“This is Cosmo Fuentes,” Thomas said. “He’s the apparatus operator for the USAR. This is Sae Bu, paramedic, and Evan Buckley. He prefers Buck.”
“Good to meet you both,” Cosmo said and took the hand that Sae offered. “Welcome to the 118. Your partner, Hen Wilson, is in the locker room.” He motioned to the glass wall behind him. “Changing rooms and showers are private. Everyone is expected to be public-beach level of covered when we are in the communal part of the locker room, which is also attached to the gym.”
Sae nodded. “Great. Nice to meet you.”
Buck watched her trot toward the locker room. “A glass wall?”
“Most common theory is that the designer for the station was a voyeur.” Cosmo shrugged when they laughed and took the hand Buck offered. “Nice to meet you.” He paused. “So about the supermodel you’re married to….” He laughed when Buck groaned. “Just kidding.”
Ten minutes later, he was sitting on a bench in his socked feet, working his new boots to further break them in. He’d worn them around a bit over the weekend and loosened up the leather. He’d never had a pair of station boots, but it was Evan Wayne’s preferred footwear while on duty, so he’d seen them plenty. He’d consistently worn hiking boots in Colorado.
“Hey.”
Buck looked up just in time to watch a guy sit down near him on the bench. He slid his feet into his boots and pulled up both zippers. “Hi.”
“Chad Rogers.”
“Evan Buckley. But call me Buck,” he said as he stood and picked up the belt he’d left on the bench. He threaded it through his uniform pants.
“Heard you graduated top of the class at the academy—even broke some records,” Rogers said.
“Yeah,” Buck said and tucked his bag into the locker. He shut it, set the lock, and pocketed his keys. “What do you do around here?”
“I’m on the triple,” Rogers said. “We got a fancy new apparatus for you.”
“Well, not for me, but because of the 118’s new designation as a task force station,” Buck said. “Thomas and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that change. As to the Urban SAR rig, I’ve worked on one similar in Colorado where I did SAR. Though, honestly, we spent more time on snowmobiles than we did anything else since we worked above the snowline a lot of the time.”
Buck ran a hand through his hair which he’d gotten cut on Saturday. They’d all three hit a barber shop, and Christopher had even agreed to a trim. Getting him to sit still for it had taken some work and several bribes neither of them were shamed of.
“Oh, you’re married?”
Buck twisted the silicone band he had on his finger in the place of his wedding ring and nodded.
Sae huffed a little as she appeared. “Come on, pretty white boy, I’ve heard there are breakfast burritos.” She snagged Buck’s wrist and pulled. “And he’s so married. His husband is a supermodel.”
“Oh my god, Sae, please stop repeating Thomas’ bald-faced lie,” Buck said with a laugh but let himself be pulled from the locker room. “I don’t think he was going to hit on me.”
“Sure, sure,” Sae muttered as she trotted up the stairs ahead of him. “Hey, Thomas, if you didn’t save us burritos, we’re gonna tell your mama.”
“I got you each two!” Thomas said immediately. “And leave Mama out of this. Gah, I should’ve never introduced you.”
Buck snagged one of the burritos piled in front of Thomas and opened it up. “She showed up at my house the day before yesterday with cookies for Christopher.” He shrugged when Thomas gaped at him. “Chocolate chunk peanut butter, then she stole my husband for hours. It was a decent trade. They came back to the house with two trees to plant in the backyard. I was not consulted at all.”
Thomas laughed. “They talked about some mango trees at the brunch.”
“One lemon and one mango,” Buck said. “All I’m saying is that shenanigans happened in my backyard, and your mom is to blame. I don’t even know why Eddie wants to grow Meyer lemons.”
“Gardening can be good for your soul,” Sae said. “I suggested a plantain tree.”
“Oh, that’s on the list, too. He just didn’t find one he liked,” Buck muttered, and she laughed. “Regardless, both trees were big enough to require delivery and professional planting, so they might bear fruit next year for all I know. Be prepared to receive all of his extras.”
“I’m definitely on the list for lemons,” Bobby Nash said as he came to the table. “Everyone gather around, and I’ll get introductions out of the way.”
Buck stopped eating his burrito and carefully wrapped it back up, and stood when Thomas did.
“This is Henry Wayne, the shift firefighter engineer, and second-in-command. He’s the operator for the ladder. Chimney Han, Hen Wilson, and Eli Cobb are our firefighter paramedics. Sae Bu is joining them and will ride with Hen either on the ladder truck or in the second RA as needed. Cosmo Fuentes, firefighter operator. He drives the new USAR rig as needed, Evan Buckley and Thomas Marshall will be joining him for heavy rescue, and all three will float between the USAR and the ladder as needed. Tommy Kinard, Chad Rogers, Louise Freeman, and Ava Martinez are on the triple engine. Firefighter Buckley prefers to be called Buck, and for the record, his husband is not a supermodel.” Bobby paused. “He just looks like one.”
Buck groaned a little when everyone laughed.
“Let’s eat before the day starts kicking our butts,” Bobby said firmly. “Please feel free to interrogate our probies about all of the life choices that led them to have the privilege of working with us.”
Buck’s phone vibrated in his pocket, so he pulled it out as they all sat back down. It was an incoming FaceTime call from Eddie, which was kind of a surprise. So he answered it and got Christopher instead.
“Papa.” The boy huffed. “You weren’t here when I got up.”
“I’m at work, remember?”
Thomas stuck his face in between Buck and the phone. “Hey, Cupcake. How you doing?”
“I’m great, Thomas! I’m glad you’re there to keep my papa out of trouble. What are you guys eating?” His gaze narrowed even as Thomas shifted away. “Did Captain Bobby make you food? Are you going to bring me some?”
Buck laughed and shot his captain a look. The man looked very smug for having cooked a single meal in his house. “It’s a breakfast burrito, and I won’t be home until tomorrow. Remember?”
“Oh. Well. Call me later and tell me good night, Papa. I gotta go before Daddy misses his phone.”
Buck laughed even as the screen went blank. “Someone forgot to lock their phone.” He tucked it away.
“How old is your son?” Hen Wilson questioned. “My son, Denny, is almost six.”
“Christopher just turned five, and we spent his birthday at Disneyland. We hope he can start school soon,” Buck said as he received a text from Eddie that just said sorry. He responded with a smilie face and tucked the phone away again. “We have a few applications in since a public school really isn’t an option.”
“Private school on a firefighter’s salary?” Ava Martinez asked. “I wish.”
“Ah, well.” Buck considered how to respond and decided that being honest was the best choice. “My son is disabled, so we’ve gotten a grant from the state to cover his schooling through junior high. There are no developmental delays evident so far, but his cerebral palsy does mean he needs physical accommodations that a public school would struggle to provide. Plus, he’s going to need another surgery to increase his mobility sometime in the next year, which means we need a school environment that can help us manage his education during recovery.”
“Another surgery?” Sae questioned. “How many has Chris had? He’s so small, Buck.”
“Two, but he’ll need one fairly soon due to his growth to relieve muscle tightness,” Buck said and nudged her when she chewed her bottom lip. “He’ll be fine. We’re already working with a physical therapist to get him as ready for it as possible.”
“I’m sorry for saying anything,” Ava said with flushed cheeks.
“Don’t be; it’s fine. Eddie and I are focusing on providing our son with options rather than limitations. Making the world work for him is always going to be a job, and ignoring that by not discussing it won’t make it easier.”
“Well, you’re right about public schools not working for disabled children the way they should,” Tommy Kinard interjected. “My brother has Down Syndrome, so my parents had to fight a very hard road to get him what he needed practically every single day. He’s high functioning and lives in a boarding house sort of situation now. He could live on his own, but he likes the group atmosphere. I told him he could live with me, but he said I cramped his style.” He grinned at the laughter that earned him. “It’s probably true. He’s got a lot more game than I ever pretended to have and works for the city as a civil engineer.”
“Public schools try, but funding seems to fall short a lot,” Louise Freeman said. “My daughter has some developmental delays, and we’re anticipating an autism diagnosis. I’ve paid out of pocket for various occupational therapies that insurance isn’t completely covering for the last eight months.” She paused. “How did you get a grant? Is it just for cerebral palsy? Dana will start school next year.”
Buck flushed. “Honestly? I inherited a lawyer.” She laughed. “And she threw a bunch of stuff at us when we were making the move to California from Texas. Since my uncle’s estate has paid her retainer for two years, I figured I might as well take advantage of it. I can get you copies of everything she gave me so you can figure out what you can apply for.”
“That’d be great. I don’t know why I haven’t looked into that. I’ve just been…working and keeping my eye focused on making money to pay for it.”
“Makes sense,” Hen Wilson said. “I’d probably do no different, Lo. It’s just what we do, right? Do the grind; get it done.” She focused on Thomas. “So, how does your mother feel about your new job, Thomas?”
Thomas whistled. “Man, it was a moment.” Buck laughed. “But she likes it better than me being in a combat zone, so it’s worked out. It was nothing like the day I told her I enlisted in the Marine Corps.”
Buck could just imagine how Sutton Marshall had reacted to her only child joining the military without telling her. He shared a look with Sae, who was making a face at Thomas.
“You actually joined the Marine Corps without telling Sutton?” Sae questioned. “I don’t know how you survived that, Thomas. I really don’t.”
* * * *
“I have a problem.”
Buck looked up from where he was putting the ropes he’d inspected into storage on the USAR rig. It was a custom build, smaller than the ladder, and designed for on and off-road operations. They’d had two calls, and Sae had ridden on the ladder truck for both with them. She’d seemed to do very well and was getting along with Hen, so her problem wasn’t evident to him. He closed the lid on the storage and swung down off the rig easily.
“Is your hand bothering you?”
“Nah, it’s fine.” She showed him her palm, where there was a new but fully healed scar.
“Then what’s wrong?”
She frowned. “I really like cutting up cars with the jaws.”
He laughed.
“I called my mom and told her, and she said I’ve always had destructive tendencies and brought up that time I took apart the doll house she bought me when I was eight.” She crossed her arms. “Thomas is working out. I was going to do cardio for my hour of PT until my appointment with the nutritionist. I did get the full physical you recommended. My iron was a little low, but otherwise, my numbers were great.” She leaned on the truck. “We’re offline for another seventy-five minutes to resupply. The triple engine squad is putting out a car fire in a Best Buy parking lot.”
Buck checked his watch at that and nodded. “Well, as long as you don’t destroy anything you aren’t supposed to destroy, you should be fine. We can find you one of those stress rooms if you’d like.” He laughed when she huffed. “So you can throw crap around and break stuff.”
“That sounds more fun than it should,” she said in amusement. “One of the other paramedics hit on me.”
“In a rude way or just because you’re gorgeous and they wanted to shoot their shot?” Buck questioned.
“Not rude, but kind of leering. But I don’t date guys that old. He said he just turned forty-seven when we were chatting earlier.” She shrugged. “He’s a year older than my father, Buck.” She flushed. “Granted, my parents got pregnant with me when they were seventeen, but still. I try to keep it less than five years on either side of my age just for compatibility these days.” She crossed her arms. “He said we should stick together because we’re both Korean.”
“The shift is pretty diverse,” Buck said. “What’s his deal?”
“Hen told me that there was a captain before Nash that was a real bag of dicks,” Sae said. “He had every kind of bigotry possible on board, apparently, and he’s the main reason this station got a serious adjustment. When the department hired Captain Nash for the position, the chief decided that the 118 would become a task force because of his experience across two different departments in various roles.”
“I’m going to get my PT in now,” Buck said. “Should have time to do the whole required period plus a shower.”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“Come with me then,” Buck prodded and nudged her as they walked. “You can spot me.”
Sae laughed. “I can’t spot that much weight.”
“I’d never push my limit on duty,” Buck said. “No need to get an injury or strain something when I need to be able to work.”
They did thirty minutes of weight training which Thomas ended up joining them for. Buck sort of figured they’d eventually get a lecture about their overt pack behavior, but Captain Nash was the one that told them to bond at the academy. Sae had told Thomas about getting hit on, too. The man looked disgusted but then also confessed that he had an epic boner for their operator.
That was fair, in Buck’s estimation, because Cosmo Fuentes was gorgeous. Sae and Thomas plotted a very respectful seduction campaign while he took a run on the treadmill. He showered, redressed, and headed off to the loft to see what the rest of the shift did to entertain themselves when they weren’t on task or on a call. Lunch had been great—a chicken curry with brown rice. He looked forward to figuring out how to cook that at home as he figured Eddie would like it. He wasn’t sure about Christopher.
The squad from the triple was back, and they were on the couch playing Mario Kart and ragging each other mercilessly. He liked their energy, but they were a bit loud, and he wanted to call home before Christopher went to bed. So, he headed back down the stairs and found a spot to lean on the ladder before making a FaceTime call.
“Hey,” Eddie said with a smile. “How are things going?”
“Good, nothing too stressful so far, and no idiots to tell Wayne about.” Buck glanced to his left and saw that the two male paramedics were lingering by one of the ambulances having a quiet conversation. “We’ve been on the ladder all day so far.”
“I’m not mad about that. I realize you’re going to get calls that require the skills you were hired for, but it’s a little nerve-wracking.”
“I’ll bring my A-game every single time, Eds. Don’t worry so much,” Buck said. “Is Christopher awake?”
“Yeah, we just finished bath time, and Pop called. He’s moved into a condo.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, Adriana said it’s pretty awful, and Mom is waffling between screaming at him for abandoning her and gleefully posting on social media about being a free woman. She also went on a date with some asshole from the country club.”
“Your mom went on a date,” Buck repeated, then nodded thoughtfully. “I mean, she’s gonna need another husband to pay her bills if Ramon divorces her. I think she’d have a hard time keeping a job with her attitude.”
Eddie groaned. “Buck.”
“Sorry, I know it’s stressful. Do you think you’re going to have a hard time sleeping tonight?”
“I’ll be fine,” Eddie assured as he started to move. “Hey, Chris. Talk to your papa.”
Buck said nothing until the phone was transferred to Christopher, who was clearly in bed and snuggled in for storytime. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Papa, hi. Did you do anything fun so far?”
“Not really,” Buck said. “Just a few car accidents. We washed the ladder truck and did some exercise.”
“Daddy got us tacos from a truck,” Christopher said in a whisper. “I’m not supposed to tell.”
Eddie laughed in the background.
“Did you like them?” Buck questioned.
“Yeah, they were great,” Christopher said and snuggled into his pillows. “Daddy says we’re gonna have to do PT without you tomorrow. Why?”
“Well, I might need sleep when I get home,” Buck said. “We’ll figure out a routine soon enough.”
“Okay. Daddy says we shouldn’t tell Abuelita we ate junk tacos. What do you think?”
“I think if we make Abuela mad at us, we might not get more cookies,” Buck said and his son looked utterly scandalized by the idea. “And those snickerdoodles were great.”
“Yeah, we have to keep the taco truck secret,” Christopher decided. “Daddy says I have to wait for you to read more Harry Potter because he thinks it’s awful.”
Buck grinned.
“So, I asked for Percy Jackson, and he said he wasn’t going to read a book about a bunch of kids with deadbeat fathers.” Christopher rolled his eyes. “He’s so judgy, Papa.”
“Judgy?”
“The real word is too big for my mouth.”
“Tell your dad that I left a book on the dresser for him—it’s called A Wrinkle in Time. I think it’s going to be a great read for you both.”
“Oh, I love that book,” Eddie said in the background.
Christopher wiggled his eyebrows, so Buck laughed. “Good night, Papa.”
“Good night, Superman. Keep your old man out of trouble, okay?”
“Someone’s gotta!”
The screen blurred, and Eddie reappeared. “Hey, when did you get this book?”
“I ordered it on Amazon,” Buck said. “I made a list of children’s science fiction books. There are a lot more than I expected. Also, I got some non-fiction books geared toward children on dinosaurs and space since he seems to like both equally.”
“Thanks. I didn’t even think about looking. Get some sleep if you can,” Eddie said. “We probably should’ve worked more with him about your potential sleep schedule. Love you.”
“Love you back,” Buck said and let Eddie end the call. He really hated hanging up on anyone. He pocketed his phone just as Chimney Han and Eli Cobb appeared in front of him. “Hey.”
Han crossed his arms over his chest. “You know Sae pretty well?”
“Well, we met at the academy,” Buck said with a shrug, as he wasn’t interested in explaining the details of his relationships with the entire station. “She’s from San Diego.” Both men nodded. “Why?”
“Just curious,” Eli said casually. “She dating anyone?”
“When she wants,” Buck shrugged. “Beautiful women are only alone because they want to be, in my experience.”
“I asked her out,” Chimney said finally. “And she said no. No reason or anything.”
“Well, no one is required to give you a reason for not wanting to date you,” Buck said dryly and stretched.
“How am I supposed to know if I should pursue?” Chimney asked in confusion.
The generation gap was real, Buck thought.
“You’re older than her father, dude. You’re getting nowhere fast with Sae,” Thomas said as he strolled past. “Buck, come on. Cosmo said he’d give us a breakdown on the tasks for the USAR so we can help with maintenance.
Buck shrugged as Chimney gaped at them both. “I wouldn’t date someone older than my parents if I were single, either. Granted, both of mine are pushing sixty, so…eh.” He slid past them and headed for Cosmo and Thomas. “Oh, hey, I love clipboards. Can I hold the clipboard?”
Cosmo laughed. “And I was just telling Bobby I thought you were remarkably mature for your age, Buckley.”
Buck shrugged because, despite his words, Cosmo passed him the clipboard, which was awesome.
* * * *
Buck exchanged a wide-eyed look with Thomas when he heard Chimney Han volunteer to join him on the ropes. He really hoped he wasn’t about to have an argument with his captain on his very first shift, but he knew for a fact that Cosmo Fuentes was the only other person on their shift, outside of Captain Nash himself, with a SARTECH II certification. Everyone else in the station was purely urban, which was SARTECH III. That meant that Han was most certainly not qualified to do what he was volunteering for. Three or four of them had rope certs, but a vertical climb on natural terrain required more than one certification.
“I got the winch,” Thomas said firmly when Bobby Nash looked their way. “Sir.”
Nash nodded. “Cosmo, you’re with Buck. Be careful.”
Chimney made a face at them and then went to stand with the ambulance. Buck found that particular situation infuriating but didn’t know how to express his concerns over that kind of casual volunteering for tasks that someone wasn’t qualified for.
“Relax,” Cosmo murmured as he offered as they watched Thomas set up the winch. “Bobby is a stickler for protocol and qualifications. If you weren’t here, we wouldn’t even be on this call.” He glanced over the broken railing. There was one car caught in a mixture of rock protrusions and bushes. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” Buck said.
Moments later, Buck eased over the side of the embankment and started down. His radio was active, and he listened to Bobby Nash order the rest of the shift around as they dealt with the other four cars involved in the accident. He encountered the back of the compact car first and quickly secured the cable attached to the ladder that he’d brought down with them. Once the vehicle was as secure as possible, he moved down the side.
“You can come down with the basket, Cosmo,” Buck said as he stared at the driver. It wasn’t necessary, as it was clear the man was deceased, but he checked for a pulse anyway. “Elderly male. No pulse. No one in the passenger seat.” He directed his flashlight toward the backseat. “I see a car seat.”
“Size?” Bobby Nash questioned.
“Baby, rear-facing,” Buck said. “No crying or overt movement. I’m going to open the door.”
“The temperature isn’t bad,” Hen Wilson interjected. “Was the door impacted?”
“No, it looks like all the damage was in the driver’s side front and the back,” Buck said as he opened the door. “The car seat is still secured properly. The baby is buckled in but…not moving.” He reached out hesitantly and put his hand on the baby’s chest. “Looks about six months old.” He pulled off one glove and touched her again. “She’s warm to the touch but doesn’t appear to be running a fever. I can feel her heartbeat. Breathing appears normal.” He took a deep breath. “I think…she’s just asleep.”
“Certain it’s a girl?” Chimney questioned.
“Well, no, but she’s wearing a sundress, sandals, and there are tiny pink barrettes in what little hair she has,” Buck said, and the baby’s eyes opened. He diverted the flashlight slightly. “She’s awake. Brown hair, blue eyes.” He offered the baby his fingers, and she caught one in her grasp and held tight. “Responsive, decent grip for a baby. She’s moving around and doesn’t appear to be in any pain. She’s smiling at me, so she has great taste already.”
Nash laughed. “Stay in her field of vision until we can get her ready to be moved. It’ll keep her calm. LAPD is running the license plate.”
A half-hour later, they’d moved the baby and the deceased driver up to the road. The child’s parents had gotten to the scene just in time for one of them to ride in the ambulance with their daughter. One of the witnesses had already confirmed that the older man had been forced off the road by the impact of another car. Though, it was clear the information hadn’t done much to mitigate the grief for the family.
“They’re ready to transport the baby,” Cosmo said as he finished tying off one of the four ropes they’d used on the climb.
The cables from the ladder truck were still attached to the car, and they were waiting on a tow truck for further action on that issue.
Buck nodded.
“It was her paternal grandfather,” Cosmo murmured. “Today was their monthly outing—just the two of them doing whatever would be fun. Her name is Emily. He was, apparently, the only grandparent she had.”
Buck winced. “Life can suck so much.”
The tow truck showed up, so they went over to the driver to talk about the situation.
* * * *
Eddie rolled over onto his back, snagged Buck’s pillow, and covered his face with it briefly as he inhaled his husband’s scent. He put it back where it belonged because he felt like an idiot and left the bed. Maybe Christopher wasn’t the only one that could’ve used some more time to adjust to a new schedule.
He walked through the house and checked the security cameras because the subject of Sonny Donaldson was a lingering issue. He’d gotten community service for punching his father while the man was on duty. Since he’d yet to approach Buck in any fashion, nothing had been said, and a restraining order was entirely out of the question. The situation worried Eddie as he understood exactly how violent other humans could become.
As he meandered through the house, clenching his cell phone, he realized he was experiencing something entirely new to him. While being a firefighter wasn’t the most dangerous job available, it wasn’t without immense risks, and he had no ability whatsoever to have Buck’s back. Eddie rubbed his shoulder absently as he considered trying to follow his husband onto the job and shook his head. He wasn’t emotionally or physically ready for that much stress, and he knew it.
He sat down at the breakfast bar, where he’d left the laptop, and opened it. The editing on his introductory video for the firefighter series was almost ready. Thanks to Evan Wayne, Eddie had gotten an unexpected and much-appreciated opportunity to interview Chief Gael Alonzo. He really liked the older man a lot and felt good about Buck being in an organization led by him.
But the first interview was Buck’s, and Eddie would freely admit that he’d labored over it the most. He’d gotten an interview out of Thomas Marshall as well, who was a former US Marine. Eddie had split that content across two different projects as he was also working on a series about veterans and their experiences after service both with the VA and society at large. It had gotten around the VA that he was working on something, and he’d gotten a lot of volunteers. It had been humbling to be trusted with those stories but also daunting as people were taking him very seriously, and that wasn’t what he’d anticipated at all.
His channel introduction, he knew, had to be about him and what his goals were as a creator. The market was saturated with content creators who were immensely focused on themselves. So, Eddie knew that he could probably work that angle decently. It wasn’t what he wanted, though. Eddie frowned a little as he considered the video, as he hadn’t shared it with anyone. Buck hadn’t asked, but he was clearly curious. He’d be sitting on it for several weeks, and suddenly it felt ridiculous to wait.
It was three in the morning, so he had no real business publishing it now when his established audience, just his family, were all asleep. He did it anyway and relaxed against the back of the stool, grateful for the physical support. There were parts of it that were hard to say, hard to hear, and he figured it would make Shannon furious for her ex-husband to tell the world he was gay.
He shared the link on the social media profiles he’d set up at Buck’s insistence and closed the laptop. It was done for good or bad.
* * * *
“Buck.” Sae sat down on his bunk, her eyes dark with tears. “I can’t even with your husband right now.”
Buck yawned and sat up as he rubbed the back of his head. “What did Eddie do? He should be asleep.”
“He uploaded his first video on YouTube an hour ago. It’s amazing, and he broke my heart, so I had to tell you.” She huffed, got up, and trotted away.
Buck snagged his phone from the shelf in the headboard and unplugged the charging cable. He pulled out his AirPods and tucked them in as he browsed to Eddie’s channel, which he’d named The Human Experience. He’d seen bits and pieces of the interviews and nothing that Eddie had recorded of himself.
“My name is Eddie Diaz. I’ve watched dozens of these videos—vlogs is a strange word for the record. Eight months ago, I was serving in the United States Army as a combat medic in Afghanistan. I’d worked hard to get where I was in the Army and to achieve the rank of Staff Sergeant at what most considered a young age.
“I can’t discuss the specifics of the mission that ended my career in the Army—there was a helicopter crash. Most of my unit made it out of the crash, and we were pinned down by insurgents. Over the hour that followed, several of us were injured, including my CO. At some point, and this isn’t very clear due to the toll that stress and injury take on the memory, I was the ranking NCO on the ground. During the course of the incident, I severely dislocated my shoulder, took three bullets, and broke several ribs.” He turned a box over in his hand as he spoke, and there was another on the table beside him.
Eddie had recorded the video in the morning hours on their patio. The lighting was perfect, and he frankly looked amazing. Buck shifted around on the bunk as he stared at his phone and took a deep breath as Eddie opened the box.
“I was involuntarily severed from the US Army due to losing a kidney after nearly nine years of service. I woke up in a field hospital with the rest of my unit. I’m relieved to say that there were only two deaths, but I still grieve for the ones that didn’t make it. There’s something special and amazing in the structure that the military provides for you when you serve. The men and women you serve with become your family. Their losses become your losses, and their victories burn in your blood.
“I was furious by my discharge from the Army, as I’d built my life around the deeply comforting certainty that the military provided through discipline and clearly defined duties. I understood it, of course. Losing a kidney is a medically disqualifying event, and I have to be careful going forward with the kidney I do have.” He stared briefly at the contents of the box he’d opened, then showed the camera the medal. “The Silver Star is awarded for a singular act of valor or heroism during a specific period of time. Basically, it’s a medal awarded for a single battle.” He closed the box gently. “When it was first awarded, I was miserable, sad, and traumatized by everything that happened. Looking at it made me furious because it felt weirdly patronizing.
“It felt like I was being patted on the head for doing what I’d be trained to do. I killed people that night, before and after I was shot. There came a point when I thought I was going to die. I thought about my son then—he’ll have turned five by the time this video is published, and I realized that if I died that night, he wouldn’t have any real memories of me by the time he’s my age.”
Eddie picked up the second box and opened it to show the camera. “This is the Purple Heart. It is awarded for being injured or killed in combat while serving the US military. It is the oldest medal still being awarded to those serving in our military.” He took a deep breath and closed the box. “I’ve met a lot of men and women with this medal recently—mostly at the VA hospital where I’m going for treatment. I find great comfort in the company of fellow soldiers if I’m honest.
“I’ve not shown you these medals as some sort of weird flex. I’m showing them because they matter to me and to everyone else who has ever received one. Looking at them doesn’t make me furious anymore, but they make me hurt.” Eddie took a deep breath and stacked the two boxes together, then sat them aside. “Time heals all wounds is the biggest lie I’ve ever been told. The kind of grief that combat brings you doesn’t ever go away. I say that, sitting here at twenty-eight, because I’ve met veterans as old as ninety who’ve told me that some part of me will always hurt due to my service in theater.
“I think some of you will ask me if I regret my service, and the answer is no.” He smiled then and shook his head. “I don’t regret a single damn minute of my time in the Army—not even the very end. I’ve always felt like regret was an immense burden to carry around. Life is short, and no one is promised tomorrow. Once I realized that, I knew I had to make serious changes in my life and be honest with myself about who I am and what I want for my life.
“Figuring out that you’re lying to yourself is one thing—learning to stop is another. I told myself for over a decade that I was bisexual. I invested myself in proving that due to trauma. I won’t give explicit details because I wouldn’t want to upset anyone by reminding them of their own specific experiences, but please take a moment to review the video description because I did put a content warning on it for what comes next.
“A few weeks after I turned fifteen, a woman older than my own mother attempted to sexually assault me. It’s only been recently that I’ve been able to speak of this event freely. Because it was just an attempt, and I was able to separate myself from the situation, I never really considered myself a victim. Yet, it’s clear I let the experience shape me in ways that are disconcerting and hurtful even now.
“I married a woman. I don’t regret the relationship because I would change absolutely nothing that led to the creation of my son, who is the light of my life. Yet, after my divorce was final, I came to realize that I’d never, ever had an intimate relationship with a woman due to genuine desire on my part. I’m ashamed of it. I lied to myself for years. I lied to others as well. I’m gay, and the realization of that left me raw and hurt.
“Things are better now—the wounds are healing in more than one way. I’ve remarried, and though I have a few more surgeries in my future due to my combat injuries, I’ve never been happier than I am right now. Every single day with my husband and son is better than the last. I’m so in love with the family and life we are making together. I wish the same for everyone who is watching this.
“When I was thirteen, I inherited a camera from my paternal grandfather.” He reached off-screen and brought the antique camera into view. “This is a Rolleiflex TLR. It was purchased in 1932 and would’ve been considered a significant investment in his career. My grandfather, Edmundo Marcelo Diaz, worked for the LA Times for decades as a photojournalist. The first time I looked through the lens of this camera, I couldn’t help but think about the man who’d used it before me and who had used his skill with a camera to make a home and family.
“It’s an understatement to say that I became obsessed with the idea of finding the stories that were mine to tell, and this camera played a large role in that. In high school, I quickly got involved in various digital arts and filmmaking. Eventually, I was dissuaded from pursuing a career in any sort of creative setting. I can’t say I regret the life I’ve led, as I’ve already said, but I’m looking forward to turning the page.
“Shortly after I returned home from serving in the Army, the man that would become my husband brought this camera out of storage and asked me about it. He’s the reason I’m sitting here—sane, nearly whole, and ready for the next part of my journey. Many would’ve seen my recovery as an unreasonable burden that wasn’t theirs to bear, but he didn’t. He went to the wall, and over it for me and the child we now share.
“I can’t begin to tell you what it means to have a partner who loves, respects, and supports you with every single breath he takes. I can only hope I’m giving it back in equal measure because I’m certainly trying.
“My goal in content creation is to tell real stories about the world and the people I encounter along the way. My first series will be a collection of interviews with former and current members of the Los Angeles Fire Department. You may be wondering why I chose the LAFD specifically, and the answer is simple—they put the love of my life on the job, so they’re gonna have to deal with my curiosity.” He grinned. “So far, they’ve been really generous with their time and personal stories. I think I’m at the part where I ask you to like and subscribe, so thank you in advance for your support and interest.
“This is my human experience, and I’m looking forward to sharing more with you in the future.”
Buck huffed a little and cleared his throat as the outro music played. He’d helped pick it, so it was soothing and familiar. He wiped his eyes quickly to avoid actually crying, which would make him red in the face for hours.
“Okay, are you certain your husband isn’t a fucking supermodel?”
Buck laughed and focused on Ava Martinez, who was standing at the end of his bunk. “Yeah, I promise.”
“Lucky you,” she said and shook her head, then waved her phone. “It was great. I loved seeing a fellow Latino speaking his truth. I’m gonna share it with everyone I know.” She walked away, then came back. “Also, tell him that beard is bangin’.”
“Oh, he knows,” Buck said wryly, and Ava just laughed.
He slid out of the bunk because he wasn’t going to get any more sleep and headed for the loft. He managed to get a bottle of water and settle into a chair near the TV before anyone else approached him. Hen Wilson sat down on the ottoman in front of him and took a deep breath. She looked upset, but since he didn’t know her well he wasn’t certain.
“Hey, you okay?”
“I heard from Thomas that your husband was looking for female perspectives for his firefighter series. I was on the fence about volunteering, but after watching his video….” She exhaled. “I’m willing to put my name on the list if my POV would give anything to his project.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll let him know. He’s got Sae on his list, but he wants to wait a few months so he can get her perspective on being a firefighter versus her career as a paramedic in San Diego. You’d certainly have a different point of view to offer, and he’s really interested in variety and substance. He’s working on a series with veterans, too, that has made me cry twice.”
Hen nodded. “I was shot.”
“What?” Buck questioned and slid forward a bit. “When?”
“I was sixteen. I wasn’t the intended target, but I understand how that kind of injury changes you fundamentally. I’ve been on the job for six years now, and it’s been formative for me. I’d never want to do anything different than what I’m doing right now. I don’t think I even realized that until I was watching your husband talk about his career in the Army being taken from him.” Hen smiled and stood. “Also, your man is lovely, but you’re prettier, in my opinion.”
Buck laughed as she walked away.
Part Three
The house was quiet as he pulled the door shut and flicked the lock into place. His first shift had gone so well that he was kind of weirded out by it. Buck didn’t have a history of jobs going terribly wrong for him, but the shift had been smooth sailing on the work front. He was personable, tried to be a team player, and wasn’t the sort to cause friction if he could avoid it. He pulled a flask from the cabinet, filled it with water from the fridge, and took his bag into the laundry room.
“You okay?”
Buck looked up from frowning at the contents of his bag and found Eddie raising an eyebrow at him. “Oh, I had two uniform changes, and I have workout gear to wash. I was wondering if it was enough for a load.”
“Yeah, the washer adjusts the water consumption to fit the load size,” Eddie said. “You shared my video on your Insta.”
Buck glanced his way. “It was great. Sae’s going to curse you out for making her cry. The whole shift watched it. Your supermodel status remains the most commonly accepted theory.” Eddie laughed. “Thomas is still unashamed of his dishonesty.”
“Let me do this,” Eddie said and nudged him back from the washer. “Did you get any sleep?”
“About eight hours,” Buck said and pulled his T-shirt over his head, then shucked the jeans he was wearing to add to the pile. “I left my boots in the garage.”
“Socks, too,” Eddie said, and Buck huffed a little before taking them off. “No need to bring home the work smell on any level. You don’t smell like smoke, but let’s keep a look out for that in the future since thirdhand smoke from tobacco products can be especially dangerous for little kids. I can’t imagine what thirdhand smoke from an industrial or house fire might have lurking in it.”
“Well, smoke from a wildfire has been known to increase instances of heart attacks and strokes in an affected area. I can’t imagine what sort of crap would be in the smoke byproducts. My father smokes, or at least he did, but he wasn’t allowed to smoke in the house.”
“That’s something, I guess,” Eddie said. “So, we’ll just be careful and take precautions.”
Buck nodded. “I’ll make sure to shower thoroughly after a fire and keep clean clothes separate in my locker to come home in because I didn’t consider it.” He watched Eddie drop the T-shirts and socks into the laundry basket and put all everything else in the washer. “I never separate my stuff for washing.”
“Oh, I know,” Eddie muttered. “None of your plain white T-shirts are actually white anymore. Most of them have a blue tint. The Army has exacting standards on the uniform and laundry front, so I learned quickly how to handle it. My mother never taught me any domestic skills and regularly bitched at Shannon for encouraging me to do anything around the house when I was home.” He paused. “Like she didn’t have two maids when we were growing up.”
Buck laughed. “Why did you post in the middle of the night?”
“Because I’ve had it ready for weeks, and I’ve been procrastinating. If I’m going to do this, then I need to stop undermining myself.” Eddie took a deep breath. “What did you think?”
“On the production front, it was absolutely amazing. It also felt really honest, and I’m utterly in love with us, too,” Buck said quietly and nudged him gently when Eddie glanced his way. “Seriously. Also, I’m pretty sure you’re going to get another phone call from Shannon’s lawyer.”
“I told Natalie I didn’t want to hear anything about it unless Shannon petitions the court in Texas for a return of her parental rights,” Eddie said. “Because I fully intend to show up for that hearing. I just can’t…trust her with our son’s heart, Buck. I don’t know the full extent of her issues, but she was so selfish and unreasonable in that one meeting we had. I think she actually blames me for getting shot in the line of duty, which is bullshit.”
“We probably need to get a psych eval for Christopher,” Buck murmured.
“Yeah, but he was really put off by the idea of me going to a therapist, so it’s a work in progress. I don’t think it’ll work if he’s really hostile about it.” He cleared his throat. “My mother left me a voice mail about an hour ago screaming at me for airing her dirty laundry on the Internet. I assume she means the whole thing with Margery, but I didn’t mention her by name and certainly didn’t imply that my own mother did nothing to protect me afterward.”
“It’s very clear that neither of your parents protected you, Eddie,” Buck said. “And you have to know that your mother’s friend group is aware of that bitch’s predilections. Her own husband prevented her from being around her teenage stepsons. It’s probably well-known in that country club of theirs as well.”
Eddie made a face. “I think my father would’ve murdered Margery if he’d found out about it shortly after it happened. I wouldn’t have wanted that, but I also think I’ve hurt him a lot by not confiding in him when I was younger.”
Buck wrapped a hand around Eddie’s hip and nudged him close. “Come here.”
Eddie shifted completely into his space and sought a kiss. Buck found himself backed up against the washing machine, so he relaxed against the appliance and deepened the kiss. He loved the heat of Eddie’s body against his, and it was a relief to be in the soft, quiet moment they were having. He wondered if they had time for a little one-on-one.
“Daddy! I dropped my toothbrush in the potty!”
“Parenthood is one disgusting event after another,” Eddie muttered as he pulled free. “Don’t touch it, Mijo!”
Buck laughed as little as he followed. “There is a new one in his supply basket under the sink. It was about time for a replacement anyways.”
He went into the bedroom to grab some sweatpants and a T-shirt to wear. By the time he made it into Christopher’s bathroom, he found Eddie and their son having a little argument.
“But it’s my favorite.”
“Mijo, toothbrushes are going to come and go regularly. Okay? I can try to find another one like the red one. But it really is time for a new one, and now is good as time as any.” Eddie offered the blue replacement toothbrush, and Christopher took it with a full pout in place. “Did you want to keep it because your mom got it for you?”
“No!” Christopher huffed loudly, and tears welled in his eyes. “I never want to talk about her again!”
“Looks like someone’s working his way into a visit with a child psychologist,” Buck said dryly.
Fat tears fell, and Christopher showed him the toothbrush. “It’s blue, Papa.”
“Mine’s yellow,” Buck said in return, and the five-year-old made a face. “It is, and it’ll get replaced in three months. I send my old ones in to be recycled.” He leaned on the sink as Eddie glanced toward the trash can. “We can recycle the toothpaste tube, too. I normally just send it all in once or twice a year. We gotta treat ourselves and our planet as well as we can.”
Christopher frowned but then offered the toothbrush to Eddie. “I need toothpaste.”
“I know that change makes you uncomfortable,” Eddie said quietly as he put toothpaste on the brush and handed it back to Christopher. “But life is sort of chaotic, Chris. Part of growing and learning is adapting to the changes that living throws at you.”
“Yeah, but we can control the color of my toothbrush, Daddy,” Christopher said and frowned when Eddie laughed at him. “There’s a whole bunch of them at the store.”
Buck grinned. “Yeah, but that’s not very adventurous, is it?”
“I can get adventure outside, Papa,” Christopher muttered, then started to aggressively brush his teeth.
Buck shared a look with Eddie. “How about waffles for breakfast?”
Christopher nodded quickly as Buck went off to make that happen. He snagged his phone from the counter as he walked into the kitchen and browsed Instagram to check the comments on his post about Eddie’s video. They’d been overwhelmingly positive, but he’d blocked several people already for homophobia and would continue to do so. He exhaled slowly as he stared at the number of likes on his post and wondered how that was going to translate as far as YouTube views went.
Eddie came into the kitchen at that point, and Christopher basically dragged himself in as well. The kid was clearly going to milk his toothbrush-related trauma for as long as he could.
“Was it a problem that I shared your video on Insta?” Buck questioned curiously because if he’d misstepped, he was going to have to do some groveling before he revealed how many people had liked his post.
“No, of course not,” Eddie said as he settled Christopher in the booster seat and hooked the crutches on the back of the chair. “I wasn’t going to ask you to do that, though, since we don’t have the same audience.”
“Oh, I assure you—we have the same audience. Less than five percent of my followers have any interest in professional climbing or SAR, as you already know,” Buck said and grinned when Eddie rolled his eyes. “Oh, Hen Wilson, one of the firefighter paramedics, volunteered for your interview series. I think her POV will interest you a lot. She’s been on the job for six years and was the victim of a shooting as a bystander.”
Eddie exhaled in surprise. “Yeah, I mean, I’d love to hear her story. What else do you know about her?”
“She has a son who is six, and her wife is a literal rocket scientist,” Buck said. “She works for JPL. I followed them both on Instagram already. She’s a Black woman if that matters.”
“Well, representation is important,” Eddie said. “I’m not interested in diversity for the sake of it if that makes sense. I want the stories I tell to be about people and the struggles they meet along the way.”
“Great. Also, the post on my Insta has half a million likes so far.”
“What?” Eddie questioned, and Buck winced when he glanced his husband’s way and found him wide-eyed and kind of pale.
“Have you checked the views on YouTube?”
“No, I’ve been avoiding it.” Eddie exhaled slowly and pulled out his phone. “It’s only been out for seven hours.” He rubbed his head absently as he stared at his phone without doing anything. “This is your fault, Evan.”
Buck laughed and started pulling out the ingredients to make waffle batter. “Get the waffle iron out.”
Eddie went to the cabinet with a frown at his phone. “I was mostly worried about my mother, you know. Now there’s this. It really is your fault. This is what I get for marrying a social media celebrity.”
“I’m not a celebrity,” Buck protested because the thought was horrifying.
“Instagram would probably say otherwise,” Eddie pointed out, and he laughed when Buck made a face at him. “Anything over 100,000 followers is considered to be significant on Instagram and most other platforms.”
“Your research is ruining my life,” Buck muttered and grinned when Eddie laughed. “It’ll be fine, you know. I mean, you want the channel to grow, right?”
“Not overnight,” Eddie admitted. “I don’t have the content to keep up with that kind of growth. I’d planned one video a week. I think I need to meet with the PR department of the LAFD despite the fact that the Chief of the LAFD made himself at home on our patio, grilled out with us, and let himself be interviewed for nearly an hour. I don’t even know how to thank Wayne for that. The chief’s interview is going to be three parts since I want to keep most of the interviews around fifteen minutes.”
“Daddy, you should interview me,” Christopher said, and they both turned to look at him.
“What?” Eddie questioned.
“I want to be interviewed,” Christopher said. “I have a story to tell.”
Buck exhaled slowly and wondered how to handle that because there was no privacy on the Internet. He also knew that Eddie didn’t want to treat their family like content. Buck watched him plug in the waffle maker to heat up.
“What kind of story would you want to tell?” Eddie questioned.
“My story,” Christopher said and shrugged. “We can talk about PT, crutches, and what I want to be when I grow up. I have things to say.” He waved both hands. “About stuff.”
Eddie nodded. “Let’s think about it because people on the Internet can be really mean, and there’s a fine line between empowerment and exploitation when it comes to kids being on platforms like YouTube.”
“What’s explition?” Christopher questioned.
“Exploitation,” Eddie corrected with a quick smile. “It’s when someone uses you or your circumstances for their own gain, and a lot of kids are on YouTube for terrible reasons earning money for their families in a way I think is abusive.”
“Well, you’d never do that,” Christopher said easily. “I just want to help you tell stories like everyone else is.”
Eddie nodded. “Okay, we’ll figure it out.”
* * * *
“I received an activity report from YouTube and an automatic notification about meeting the requirements to become a partner,” Eddie said as he slouched against Buck on the lounger on the patio. Christopher was across from them in the sandbox they’d built and filled as part of his birthday celebration.
It was currently the home of a big sand castle that Sae had helped Christopher build. It had a moat and several T-Rex guards.
“What did it say?”
“I have just over 50,000 subscribers, and the video has officially gone viral thanks to you with over 200,000 views and counting—my watch hours is over half a million, which means a lot of people are watching it from start to finish.”
Buck laughed. “Thanks to you, Eds.” He nudged him. “You’re beautiful, and it was very compelling. They certainly wouldn’t have watched the whole thing if it were boring.”
“I also have several emails from organizations I didn’t expect,” Eddie said quietly. “Including RAINN.” Buck took a deep breath. “I don’t even know what to do with that, Buck. I’m not….” He trailed off and frowned.
“You are,” Buck said quietly. “I think if you looked at RAINN’s definition of SA, you’d find that what she did to you was assault, legally.” He wet his lips. “Did she touch you?”
Eddie exhaled slowly. “Yeah, she managed to get her hand into my pajama bottoms due to my shock.”
“Jesus, Eddie.” He pressed a quick kiss against Eddie’s hair as he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.
“But that’s it, though. I shoved her off my bed at that point because it was so awful that it knocked me out of my shock and…fear. I was afraid.” Eddie cleared his throat. “They sent me an email asking for a link on my video, so I added it to the video description before I came out here. I realize now that I should’ve included it from the start.
“Most of the comments have been positive, but not all of them. One asshole told me I was ridiculous because men can’t be…assaulted by women.” He glanced toward Christopher. “I deleted the comment and banned him from the channel. Some of the discussion is heated but not outright argumentative, and I’m already being asked about a community tab by subscribers. It’s a lot.”
“Then you probably need some help.”
“Already?” Eddie asked huffily, and Buck laughed. “I’m not ready for that, Buck. I figured I’d get views from my family, and it would take a year or more to get this kind of attention, if ever.”
“What are you posting next?” Buck asked in amusement.
“I have promos for both the documentary series I’m building,” Eddie said. “A few clips of the interviews and me on screen talking about each topic and why I wanted to tell those stories.”
“You might need help to manage it.”
He sighed. “I’m not looking for an assistant until the channel makes its own money.”
“Maybe an intern.”
“Sure, but not an unpaid one,” Eddie muttered. “I think that’s bullshit.”
“Okay, so I’m your assistant until then,” Buck said easily. “I can help moderate the channel and stuff. I’m already a subscriber, so let’s investigate that and read about the partnership program with YouTube. That’s how it will make money, right?”
“Yeah, I’m just surprised by the reaction.”
“I’m not. You should also make a TikTok short about it.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Buck said. “Or a short for Instagram that I can repost.”
“Maybe that one,” Eddie said grudgingly. “But I’m not joining TikTok. I know the company isn’t actually owned by the Chinese government, but it has influence and access there. I’m not on board with supporting communism even on a minute scale.”
“Oh, I had no idea,” Buck admitted with a frown. He pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Deleting my TikTok account and the app,” Buck muttered. “First, you’re going to eventually say that in some fashion or another online, and it’ll be weird if your own husband is on a platform you find offensive. Second, I don’t actually want my data available to a communist regime, either. Not that I think they care about me, specifically. Still, it’s not comforting.”
“No, it’s not,” Eddie said. “It’s not allowed on government-owned devices, and the DOD strongly suggested against any active duty military from having it on their personal devices. My last CO specifically ordered us not to have it on our phones and tablets in theater, which meant everyone in his command on the ground was TikTok free for fear of his wrath as he considered the app an immense security threat.”
Buck nodded. “Are you okay?”
“I think I failed to consider your own profile in all of this,” Eddie admitted. “I want it to work because it feels right, but this is insane. It also feels like something that would be deeply satisfying emotionally. Last night, I was thinking about you at work.”
“What about me at work?” Buck questioned as he finished deleting the app and setting aside his phone.
“It’s weird being on the other side of it,” Eddie said. “I never really understood how worried Shannon might have been about my service.”
“Well, it’s not like combat, Eddie.”
“No,” he agreed. “But I was worried about you and what you were doing. I even briefly considered if I could get into the right shape to go to the fire academy and join you.”
“You certainly could,” Buck said. “I think you’re going to be physically recovered, even after surgery, inside the next year. I don’t know if the LAFD would let us work together as spouses. Are you seriously considering it?
“Maybe I would if I were on my own, as it would be a natural sort of direction for me to go considering my work as a medic in the Army, and I would be really stressed right now trying to make sure Christopher had everything he needed. That being said, I think it would be psychologically difficult for me and stressful. I need to be honest with myself about that.” He paused. “Plus, I was hoping that maybe there would be another kid or two in our future.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, adoption or surrogacy,” Eddie said. “Wouldn’t it be nice?”
“It would be great,” Buck murmured, and Christopher waved at them.
“Papa, my moat needs water!”
“Ah, a castle emergency! Right up my alley at this point.” Buck slid off the lounger. “I’ll get the hose, Superman.”
* * * *
“I did all the background stuff to apply for partner on YouTube,” Eddie said. “I’m glad I’d already cleaned up my own Instagram, so the only public pictures are of things that don’t feel very private. I made everything with Christopher available to people I follow, which is just family.”
“I have the same policy,” Buck said. “Are you really going to let Christopher be on your channel?”
Eddie made a face and glanced toward the back of the house, where Christopher was down for an afternoon nap. “I want to encourage him to explore the world and have agency, Buck. But I am worried about how it might open him up to criticism. I guess I can’t prevent that on any front, really. I certainly wouldn’t monetize any content featuring him.”
“Or, you could put any revenue that makes into a college fund,” Buck suggested, and Eddie blinked in surprise. “It would probably really please him to have that kind of thing going on.”
“What if it all falls apart, and I fail at it?” Eddie questioned.
“Then you try something else,” Buck said and shrugged. “Failure is part of growth, right? Sometimes I learn more from mistakes than I do when I get it right. That being said, you’ve got a very positive response to your first video, and the momentum is to the good.”
“I’ve scheduled the promo for the LAFD series for Friday,” Eddie said. “And I sent the PR department an email. I probably should’ve done it before Gael Alonzo had lunch with us and my camera.”
Buck laughed. “It was a great lunch, and I enjoyed meeting him. I think you should probably ask Bobby Nash for an interview. He’s been on the job in three different departments and came to LA to run a task force station and is the station commander. It’s a different perspective, but if you want a different captain, we can probably get a recommendation from the chief’s office. And we can probably talk one of the instructors at the academy into doing it as well. Most of them liked me.”
“I don’t want you to feel used,” Eddie blurted out, and Buck focused on him.
“What?” Buck asked, then he smiled. “Your success at this will only make things easier around here. It’s also what will make our future baby plans possible. I’m never going to feel used by you….” He trailed off and wet his lips. “Well, unless you want to fuck me all day because I’m perfectly okay with that kind of use.”
Eddie sighed. “You asshole. Christopher is going to be up in fifteen minutes.”
Buck just laughed and opened the fridge. “Time to figure out lunch.”
“Let’s grill some burgers,” Eddie said. “I’ll start the grill.”
“Yeah, good idea,” Buck admitted. “I’ll fry some bacon inside and prep the rest of the stuff. Let me know when the grill is ready, and I’ll bring out the meat.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Eddie pulled him close, stole a quick kiss, and headed for the patio.
* * * *
It was weird having Eddie and Christopher go to physical therapy without him, but Buck knew he probably needed some genuine downtime to relax and prepare for his next shift. He’d have two to three twenty-four-hour shifts every week. He’d be at work again in about fifteen hours, then he’d be off for four days before his next shift. He had plans to meet Sae and Thomas at the climbing facility at least twice during their off days. Sae had signed up for the SARTECH II course that Thomas was prepping for, so he was helping them both train for the physical parts.
His phone rang, and he answered it since it was Evan Wayne’s ringtone.
“Hey.”
“Hey, kid. Henry said you did well last night.”
“It was pretty calm, comparatively speaking,” Buck admitted. “The worse part was removing an old man from his car—his last play date with his granddaughter ever. At least the baby was okay.”
“Yeah, Henry always calls me to talk about calls involving kids. Got a question for you.”
“Are you about to ask me to spy on your son?” Buck questioned, and Wayne grunted. “I’m not gonna.”
“I wasn’t going to ask you to spy on Henry,” Wayne denied. “But I am curious about some stuff he’s said and some stuff he hasn’t said. Tell me about the paramedics working at the 118.”
“Ah, this is about Chimney Han,” Buck speculated, and Wayne hummed under his breath. “Late forties, I’m told he’s very competent as a paramedic, but he’s got some issues with ego. I can’t really explain it, but I was preparing to go down a vertical embankment to secure a car that had gone off the road, and he volunteered to go down with me despite the fact that he didn’t have the certifications for it. Cosmo Fuentes, the operator for the USAR, assured me that Captain Nash didn’t allow anyone to do anything they aren’t trained for, but it was concerning that Han even volunteered to do shit he’s never been trained to do.”
“I wouldn’t expect him to be trained for it,” Wayne said roughly. “Paramedics start that training as soon as they can at the LAFD, and it eats up all of their time if they’re properly dedicated to it. He certainly couldn’t keep up with continuing education for paramedics plus SAR or anything related to it. That kind of split focus on the job is also inappropriate and detrimental at best. It’s deadly at the worst end of the things.”
“Yeah, what has Henry said?”
“He complains a bit here and there about Han. This morning he mentioned that Han had hit on Sae then got very offended by her rejection.”
“Ah, well, he’s older than her father, Wayne.”
The older man burst out laughing.
“Seriously,” Buck said and laughed a little. “Her parents are just forty-four. So, it was bizarre and awful to her. She has a five-year rule at any rate, so he was never getting anywhere fast.”
“It’s not a bad rule for her,” Wayne said. “She’s young, and the only thing she probably has in common with Chimney Han beyond the fact that they’re both Korean is the fact that they work for the LAFD. She needs a partner who is getting ready to start their life, and not a man winding down in a career that’s going nowhere.”
“What do you mean?”
“He joined the LAFD late in life, so that’s working against him, but after seven years, he’s come nowhere near close to being offered additional training or management opportunities,” Wayne said. “He’s not going to advance at his age without moving into management. Eventually, age gets the best of all of us, and there is a hard limit on the kind of work being done in a task force station.”
“Yeah,” Buck said. “Eli Cobb is probably fifteen years younger than Han, so I can’t see him giving up his position as senior for that squad unless he gets promoted out of the station entirely. Even then, I don’t think that Han has the disposition for leadership. He seems the sort to turn into a tyrant.”
“I agree, and Henry made it clear to Bobby Nash when he agreed to the transfer into the 118 that he’d be second-in-command or he’d stay exactly where he was. Sometimes stations play a little fast and loose with authority despite qualifications based on time in service and team dynamics. Henry doesn’t play those games.”
“Well, I can’t imagine how he would since you raised him,” Buck said with a laugh. “Did Henry have concerns about my work today?”
“No, and because I did raise him, he’d tell you to your face if he thought you fucked up. He said he didn’t get to speak with you much since they’re in the middle of an inspection phase for all the apparatuses in the station. Thought I might come up that way for Thanksgiving in the fall. Won’t be able to stay long since I let myself be made the team lead out here. Dumbass move on my part. At any rate, Henry suggested that the two of us invade your house for dinner.”
Buck laughed. “Sounds good. I’ll order food if we can’t figure something out between now and then.”
* * * *
“Daddy.”
“Yeah?” Eddie glanced in the rearview mirror. Christopher was in his car seat, arms crossed in what was fast becoming a well-known posture. “Something wrong?”
“I don’t like Papa being gone all night,” Christopher blurted out. “It’s not nice.”
“Well, he has to work, Mijo,” Eddie said. “He’s doing it for our family.”
“What do you mean?” Christopher questioned.
Eddie didn’t know how to say it and decided that honesty was the best choice as he didn’t want to lie to his son. “Buck’s job with the fire department is giving us health insurance—for the whole family, and we need that. He needs it, too, of course. He was paying out of pocket for a crappy plan that really didn’t cover much of anything outside of major medical events. Like if he were injured at work.”
“Oh.” Christopher exhaled slowly. “He’s a really good person, Daddy.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Why doesn’t Grandma like him?”
“Your grandmother likes to be in charge of everyone around her,” Eddie said. “And it makes her difficult to be around as a result, and your papa doesn’t let anyone treat him that way. I’m trying hard to get to that place myself because I’ve let your grandmother get away with a lot over the years.”
“It’s nicer here without her to be mean to everyone,” Christopher said. “I wish she was a good person.” He took a deep breath. “I wish Mommy loved me, Daddy, like Papa does.”
Eddie took in a deep breath, grateful to be at a stop sign, and swallowed hard. “Your mom loves you.”
“Don’t lie to me, Daddy,” Christopher said quietly. “Not for her.”
He hit the remote for the gate as soon as he could and pulled into the driveway. Christopher had picked a hell of a time to come at him with what he was thinking. They’d known he’d been moody about something for a while. He just hadn’t expected it to be about Shannon, which made him feel shortsighted and stupid. His own mother was an immense source of stress for him, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that his son was in the same circumstances.
The gates closed behind him with another press of the button, and he opened the garage door.
“Papa made sure we had a very nice place to live,” Christopher said. “I’m sorry his uncle died, though.”
“Me, too. I’d have loved to have met him,” Eddie admitted and turned off the SUV. “Listen, Mijo….” He trailed off when he turned and found Christopher in tears. “Baby.” He hurried out of the driver’s seat and around the vehicle to open the rear passenger side door.
Eddie unbuckled his son with shaking hands and plucked him out of the car seat quickly, even as Christopher started to sob. “I’m sorry.”
“Eds?” Buck appeared at his side and put a hand on Christopher’s back as the boy continued to cry.
Eddie swallowed hard because he was at a loss for words. Physical therapy had gone well for them both. They went to the same facility now but had different therapists. They’d even had the majority of their work done in the same room, so Eddie had kept an eye on Christopher as much as he could.
“I don’t know,” Eddie said quietly, and Buck frowned.
They went into the house together and sat down on the couch so Christopher could cry it out. Buck grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the coffee table and offered them when Christopher slumped against Eddie’s chest and turned his face to rest on his uninjured shoulder. He was so good about the shoulder issue that Eddie felt a little weird that his own child was forced to accommodate him even in times of immense distress.
“Thanks, Papa, sorry.” Christopher rubbed the whole bottom of his face with the tissues. “I’m a mess.”
“It happens,” Buck said easily and slid down a little so he was basically resting his own face against Eddie’s shoulder, too. “What’s up with you, Superman?”
“I’m sad.”
“Did something happen?”
“A lady asked me where my mommy was while Daddy was setting up appointments,” Christopher said quietly. “I told her I didn’t have one, and she said she felt sorry for me. I don’t want anyone’s pity, Papa.”
The lobby had been crowded, so Eddie had put Christopher in a chair near the windowed area where the receptionist sat so he would handle the appointments. He hadn’t noticed the woman at all, and that was appalling.
“Mommy doesn’t love me. Is it my fault? Am I too much trouble? I’m sorry I take so much work,” he said quickly, and his breath hitched. “You won’t stop loving me, will you, Papa?”
Eddie blinked back tears as Buck carefully took Christopher from him.
“Hey, listen,” Buck said as he hugged Christopher and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. “Life is complicated, and your mom is having a very hard time with her mental health. She’s made some terrible decisions, and none of them are your fault, I swear it. She loves you very much.” He smoothed down Christopher’s curls and took a deep breath. “And I’m never going to stop loving you, I promise.”
“Mommy never called me back,” Christopher whispered. “Daddy always called me Papa. He always told me he loved me when he had to go. He came back to me every single time he said he would. Even when he got really hurt, he came home to me. I don’t remember when she told me she loved me last. Mommy never came back. I don’t think she ever will, and it hurts.”
“Sometimes people have to go and leave behind the ones they love,” Eddie said and rubbed his son’s back as Christopher’s breath hitched. “It doesn’t mean they stop loving anyone. It’s just life, and their circumstances make it difficult to stay.”
“When I met your dad,” Buck began. “We were only in the same place for a few weeks. If I’m honest, I didn’t expect our friendship to last because of distance. I wanted it to, and I made sure to stay as connected as I could.”
“Even after he married Mommy?” Christopher questioned as he sat up to stare at Buck’s face.
“Yeah, but we were just friends.”
He nodded. “I know.”
Eddie really wanted to know how his son knew that. Because sometimes, he even doubted it, but that was more about his emotional landscape than Buck’s. Looking back on it, Buck had created boundaries that made a certain level of intimacy off-limits. He hadn’t resented it at the time, but he also hadn’t fully noticed the boundaries, as Buck was smooth about his personal interactions when it mattered.
“Mommy isn’t staying connected,” Christopher said quietly. “I don’t know if I want to see her or not, but it seems like I don’t get to decide.”
Eddie felt a twinge of guilt, but mostly he was furious all over again. He didn’t believe Shannon actually wanted custody of Christopher, and he’d be very surprised if she filed an appeal in Texas. The whole meeting had been about him and Buck. Looking back on it, he thought that maybe she was more embarrassed than anything else that he’d divorced her and married a man.
“How can we make this feel better for you?” Buck questioned. “Do you want us to ask the lawyer if you can see your mom?”
Eddie worked really hard to keep his face neutral because it was a fair and reasonable question, but he hated it.
Christopher shook his head. “No, she’s not good for me.” He slouched against Buck’s chest. “And maybe she’ll be happier without me. I don’t know if I want her to be happy, though, which makes me feel mean.”
“Well, we all have feelings that aren’t always pleasant,” Buck said. “What did you mean about her not being good for you?”
“She was always upset, and she cried a lot,” Christopher said quietly. “Even when Grandma wasn’t around, and it was my fault. It made me sad all the time in El Paso. Everything is better here, Papa. I don’t want to ever go back to the way it was before.”
“Did your mom say it was your fault?” Eddie questioned and was relieved that his tone didn’t reveal his temper.
“No.” Christopher shook his head. “She said it was yours.”
Eddie cleared his throat. “I wasn’t there for your mom because I was in the Army. She didn’t like it.”
“Well, she didn’t like it when you were home, either,” Christopher said sourly. “And she left when you were home for good, Daddy. I see things, you know. I understand stuff. I think she hated being with us.” He looked around. “My stuff is in the car.” His bottom lip poked out in a pout. “You left my crutches, too, Daddy.”
“Well, in my defense, you were ugly crying in the backseat,” Eddie retorted, and his son huffed dramatically. “I’m sorry that you’re so hurt by what’s happened with your mom. I wish I could fix it so that everyone has what they need to make everything better.” He took a deep breath. “Mijo, I need to ask you to do something for yourself.”
Christopher sent him a narrowed look and wiped his nose again with the tissues. “What?”
“I want to take you to see someone who can help you with your emotions.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know.” Eddie rubbed his hands on his jeans and cleared his throat. “I do it, you know. I talk to my therapist about serving in the Army and my mom. I don’t actually like going, but I’m doing it because it’s what I need to do so I can be a good father and husband. It’s important that I deal with what has hurt me in the past, so I can be present in our family.”
Christopher pursed his lips and pressed closer to Buck. “Do you go to emotions therapy, Papa?”
“I have,” Buck said. “Wayne made me see someone in Colorado because I was being, and I quote, a reckless dumbass.” Christopher laughed. “So, he made me go to therapy and talk about my parents, who hurt me a lot when I was younger. I don’t think about them much anymore, but when I do, it hurts.”
“Did they ever try to do better?” Christopher questioned. “Did they say sorry?”
“No,” Buck murmured and took a deep breath. “I don’t expect they ever will. So, in order for me to feel better, I had to decide how to deal with the hurt for myself. I had to stop worrying about them and what they wanted. It was hard.”
“How do I do that?” Christopher questioned. “Does the therapist help with that?”
“A therapist gives you tools to help you deal with problems,” Buck said. “Sometimes they help you figure out the things you don’t know about yourself and your emotions. Mine helped me frame the memories I have of my parents so that I understood them from an adult perspective.”
“I don’t have one of those,” Christopher muttered.
Eddie laughed reluctantly and took a deep breath. “Frankly, kiddo, we’re both pretty short on that front ourselves. You just have to keep trying.”
“Maybe I don’t know how to keep trying, Daddy.”
“Do you know who Nemo is, Christopher?” Buck questioned.
“No.” Christopher frowned. “Who’s that? Is it a friend of yours? Can I meet them soon?”
Buck grinned. “I think we need to have a movie night, kiddo. Let’s order some pizza, Eds.”
“Pizza and a movie?” Eddie shrugged. “Maybe that’s just the thing we need.” He paused. “And a child psychologist.”
“I’m just having a bad day, Daddy,” Christopher said. “That’s allowed.”
“You know what else is allowed?” Buck questioned, and Christopher groaned dramatically. “Accepting help.”
“This is awful,” Christopher muttered. “No one’s on my side.”
“We are always going to be on your side,” Eddie said quietly. “We have your back, okay?”
“We just want you to have all the tools you need to live the best possible life,” Buck said and pulled out his phone. “Now, let’s figure out what pizza best fits an under-the-sea adventure.”
“Under the sea? Like Ariel? I didn’t get her to sign my book, either,” Christopher said. “She needs to be on the list.”
“Under the sea, just like Ariel,” Buck agreed. “And she’s definitely on the official Disney Princess Scavenger Hunt list.”
Christopher laughed.
Three hours later, Eddie was the one near tears, and Buck felt like a real asshole. He hadn’t really considered the themes around Finding Nemo that would mostly go over Christopher’s head but were obviously hitting Eddie like a ton of bricks.
Christopher seemed to take a great deal of comfort in Nemo’s story and the journey itself. He chatted about it all through bath time and was practically asleep by the time they got him ready for bed, so story time didn’t happen. Buck couldn’t tell if Eddie was disappointed or not.
“Are you okay?” Buck questioned as he watched Eddie sit down on the bed to take off his socks.
Eddie cleared his throat. “It was a good movie. I liked the representation. Disney kills the parents a lot, though. Or at least one of them, like they think that’s the only kind of trauma a kid goes through. I was worried that part would upset him, but the movie refocused so quickly from the death of Nemo’s mother that it was kind of startling.”
“You don’t even want to know how that would’ve worked itself out in nature,” Buck said wryly, and Eddie laughed. “Seriously, not kid-friendly, though.” He pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it in the laundry basket. “Are you okay, though? It seemed to hit home with you.”
“I try very hard not to be overprotective,” Eddie said. “But I certainly see how easy it is to fixate on how dangerous the world can be when your child is small and vulnerable. It’ll be hard to let him go on any level. I’ve been putting off the school thing, and you’ve let me.”
“Well, not so much that,” Buck said easily. “I just did all the research and set it aside for a bit because I know it’s not easy. There are a couple of different options with the grant, and we have interviews set up already.”
Eddie huffed a little. “I don’t want to be someone you manage or maneuver around to get things done, Evan.”
“You aren’t,” Buck said. “I knew it would be hard for you, so I figured out how to remove as much stress as possible. The first interview and tour will be on Monday. We have three schools to choose from that will fit his needs, and they all have openings for the upcoming school year. Since I made it clear we’d be paying upfront for the entire year, they were more than accommodating on the whole thing.”
“I bet,” Eddie said roughly. “So, the first?”
“It’s called Durand, and it’s strictly elementary. That might be the best environment for his age and emotional landscape. It is a school entirely for special needs children, which may put him off or not. The class sizes are small, and all of the teachers are trained specifically to work with disabled children. It seems like a really good fit, and Natalie recommended it the most heavily.”
“You had the lawyer look into the schools?”
Buck shrugged. “I had each school on our list investigated for issues—reports of misconduct, health inspections, state licenses, and all that stuff.”
“Why do you even think of these things?” Eddie asked. “Health inspections?”
“I read the news a lot,” Buck said with a shrug. “Schools aren’t immune to problems with sanitation. I think we should probably pack his lunch regardless.”
“Yeah?” Eddie questioned with a grin. “Is it really going to be much better than a school lunch?”
Buck huffed. “We’re figuring stuff out, Eddie. Neither of us have burned anything in months.”
“True,” Eddie agreed. “I’ll look up some stuff online and see what most kids take for lunch so he won’t stick out. He doesn’t like that.” He slid under the covers and scooted close when Buck did as well.
Buck curled up around Eddie easily as he knew his husband preferred it. “Was it hard to sleep last night?”
“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “I mean, obviously, since I was posting on YouTube in the early morning hours.” He relaxed against Buck’s chest and took a long, deep breath. “I don’t understand why the video went viral, and I’m not sure how to duplicate it.”
“It was honest, interesting, and you’re beautiful,” Buck murmured. “You spoke of your trauma with what looked like ease and no shame. I’m sure some people were shocked by that.”
“I have nothing to be ashamed of,” Eddie said. “It took me some time to realize that, but I’m there. It was just a simple thing, though. Not dramatic or funny or even all that informative.” He huffed a little and turned on his back as Buck laughed a little. “Seriously.”
“There’s no explaining a viral video, Eds.” Buck propped his head up on one hand and let the other hand rest on Eddie’s chest. “If it were explainable, then it would be something easy to duplicate. I’m sure your research has yet to reveal the perfect formula for that.”
“True,” Eddie said and stared at the ceiling. “I wish I had more content to work with.”
“Email RAINN and ask for an interview with someone from the organization,” Buck suggested. “You already have a contact with them. It might be hard to make, though.”
“Yeah, it would be. It would also be an interesting experience and story to tell as I’ve never really spoken about being a survivor of that experience,” Eddie said. “I’ll email them in the morning.”
“And you can always vlog.”
“Is that habit I really want to develop?”
“Well, your human experience is just as important as anyone else’s,” Buck said in amusement. “Go to sleep. You can fixate on it tomorrow.”
Part Four
Eddie wasn’t fixating, but he was sort of spiraling around from one idea to another as he listened to Christopher talk about Nemo. He’d already ordered a stuffed version of the little fish on Amazon since Christopher had asked several times if there were any Nemo toys. He’d also bought a playset of the characters for the bathtub as a future bribe.
He hadn’t gotten a phone call from the lawyer’s office, but Shannon had sent him a message through Facebook, the only platform where she wasn’t blocked. She called him the scum of the Earth, claimed he’d embarrassed her on purpose, and said she never wanted to see him again as long as she lived. He’d just sent a screenshot to Natalie Rutledge and asked her to send a cease and desist. He wanted documentation regarding her harassment and his lack of interest in tolerating her verbal abuse. Maybe she meant everything she’d said, or maybe in six months, she’d be in Texas fighting a losing legal battle.
“Daddy, can I watch your video?”
Eddie exhaled slowly as he’d known that question was coming. He’d spoken very carefully during the whole recording because of that expectation. Buck had been a sounding board for that conversation, neither advocating nor encouraging Eddie to be frank with their son about his experiences. But they had decided they needed to talk to Christopher about inappropriate touching and privacy.
“Before we do that, I want to talk to you about something, and I’m not sure how.”
“Okay, just tell the truth, right?” Christopher said.
“How about we go to the beach today?”
“Just us? What about Papa?” Christopher questioned. “We shouldn’t do really fun stuff without him. It might break his feelings.”
Eddie nodded and coughed a little to keep from laughing. “We can call and ask him if he’s okay with it.”
“Okay,” Christopher said with a frown. “But he has to mean it.”
Eddie picked up his cell phone as he set a plate with a quarter section of a waffle, eggs, and some sausage. “Eat, and I’ll call him.”
“FaceTime so we can see his face,” Christopher suggested. “That way, he can’t just pretend it’s fine.”
Eddie laughed but brought his own plate to the table, which contained the rest of the waffle he’d made and some bacon. Buck answered the call immediately and looked a little sweaty. It wasn’t a bad look at all.
“Working out?”
“Just finished,” Buck said and used a towel to wipe his face. “What are you guys up to?”
“I was thinking I’d take him to the beach,” Eddie said and shifted the phone to show Christopher. “But our son thinks we shouldn’t have any fun without you.”
Buck laughed. “You can have fun without me, Superman. I won’t get upset.”
“If you’re sure,” Christopher said and pointed at the phone with his fork. “Is Sae there to keep you out of trouble, Papa?”
“Yeah, she’s upstairs playing Mario Kart with Thomas. You guys should take the Jeep—to keep sand out of the SUV.”
“He’s just saying that because he had to vacuum it last,” Eddie said, and Christopher laughed.
“True, and also, I can just sweep the Jeep out since it doesn’t have carpet,” Buck said in amusement. “I need to shower. But you guys have a lot of fun and bring home some new shells.”
* * * *
Bobby Nash got in the USAR with them, and that put everyone on edge as the man never did that, per Cosmo. The whole task force was rolling out, which was also apparently unusual. Buck started mentally sorting himself for something big and just nodded when Thomas’ knee knocked against his.
There was a major accident on Laurel Canyon Boulevard, which made Buck’s gut clench a little, as that wasn’t far from his house. He stilled the urge to call Eddie because he knew he couldn’t make a habit of that kind of thing. It would make Christopher worry constantly.
“Buck, dispatch needs to speak with you,” Bobby said over the headset. A requirement since every apparatus in motion had sirens on.
“Me?” Buck questioned.
Bobby turned in the seat. “They have Eddie on the line. Can you maintain?”
Buck took in a ragged breath, and Thomas’ hand settled on his. “Yeah.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the headrest as a signal dinged on his headset, letting him know that dispatch had connected with their team channel.
“Firefighter Buckley, I’m connecting you to your husband, who is trapped in his vehicle. The situation is not contained at this point.”
“Understood,” Buck said.
“Evan.”
“I’m here,” Buck said quickly.
“Christopher is okay,” Eddie said first. His breath was clearly labored. “We were…we’re on the side of a cliff. The Jeep is caught on a small ledge. It’s a vertical drop—about 600 feet. The Jeep’s impact caused some instability around the whole area.”
It was a terminal fall. Buck pressed a hand to his chest. “Are you hurt?”
“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “Grade one concussion at the minimum, anterior semi-dislocation of my left shoulder, and I’ve refractured my ribs. I hit hard against the door. No blood or broken skin. Christopher said I was unconscious for a bit. I think about five minutes. We have to get out of this thing now.”
“What? No, I’m practically there and—”
“Evan.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I’m telling you that we must get out of this thing—we won’t be here when you get here if we wait.”
The whine of metal filled the air, and there was a screeching sound. Buck’s stomach rolled over.
“We’re okay at the moment, but even the helicopter heading our way isn’t going to get anyone on the ground in time to help us,” Eddie said. “I’m going to put my shoulder back into place. I need you on the line for Christopher in case I pass out from the pain.”
Buck took a deep breath. “Hey, Superman.”
“Hi, Papa. A man hit us and knocked us off the side of a whole mountain.”
Buck shared a startled look with Thomas, and Cosmo started to go a little faster. “I know being in an accident is scary. I’m going to be there very soon, baby.”
Christopher huffed. “I’m not scared, Papa. Daddy’s here to keep me safe, and I don’t think it was an accident. He hit us twice with his stupid blue truck. I told you blue is an awful color. We have to get rid of my toothbrush.”
“I’m going to throw out every single blue toothbrush in the house, I promise,” Buck said hoarsely and exhaled slowly when he heard Eddie groan. “Eds?”
“I’m…here.” Eddie exhaled noisily. “What’s in the utility box in the back?”
“Roadside kit. It’ll have a tow kit with a vehicle recovery strap in it, but that’s probably the only thing helpful in it. Can you open the glove box?”
“Yeah, why?”
“There should be a package in it—I opened it and shoved it in there. I don’t think I ever removed it. I hope I didn’t. It was from that company that tried to sponsor my last climb. They sent me a pair of folding climbing axes. I’ve never used them, and I don’t…I wouldn’t trust them under normal circumstances without extensive testing.”
“They’re better than nothing,” Eddie said. “Hey, listen, Evan…. If this doesn’t go well….”
“Please don’t do this,” Buck said quietly. “I’ve still got my end of the rope, and I’m never letting you go, either.”
“Me, too,” Eddie said quietly. “Okay, I’m moving.”
“I don’t see a rope, Papa,” Christopher said, and Eddie laughed a little. “Just this yellow strap thingy that Daddy is tying around me.”
Buck closed his eyes, and Thomas pressed close.
“Evan, tell him about our rope.”
“Yeah, Papa, tell me about the invisible rope,” Christopher said huffily, and Buck smiled.
“Okay, so there is this theory about time. Some scientists think that time moves forward in a straight line. But others believe that what we perceive as time is really just how we see the universe. They believe that all time is happening at once—past, present, and future. This is called the block universe theory.” Buck took a deep breath. “So, the day your dad and I met, I climbed down the side of a cliff and pulled him up from where he’d fallen, and I put a rope attached to me onto his harness.”
“So, if all time is happening at once, then you and Daddy are still on that cliff,” Christopher said. “And here at the same time.”
“Yeah, we’ll always be on that rope together,” Buck said. “You’re so smart, Christopher.” Tears welled in his eyes despite his best efforts, and Thomas laced their fingers together.
Metal scraped loudly in his ear, and he shuddered when Christopher screamed.
“We’re going to be fine, Mijo,” Eddie said firmly. “You hold onto the phone, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy. Wait, my crutches!”
“We’ll have to get you new ones, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Two minutes out,” Bobby said quietly.
Metal scraped against rock, and Eddie made a soft, agonized sound that made his heart hurt. Buck rubbed his chest with his free hand, and Thomas’ hand clenched tightly against his.
“Fuck.” Eddie’s breathing got ragged.
Buck listened to the sound of the axes hitting rock for long agonizing moments.
“Mr. Diaz, this is Captain Ray Gaines, SAR. I’m putting a team down above you on the road. They’re going to start down after you as soon as they can get a winch anchored. You’re doing very well, son. There is no large debris above you, and you’re far enough away from the vehicle that it shouldn’t cause you any problems as it falls. If you can get anchored and stay put, we can minimize further injury.”
“Footholds are non-existent,” Eddie reported. “I see a ledge a few feet up, but my center gravity is off, and a dyno is beyond me right now.”
“Understood. If you can move two feet to your right—you’ll find a better leverage point. Can you shift your son around onto your back?”
“No, sir, not under any circumstances will I do that,” Eddie said tersely. “If we fall, I’m taking as much of the hit as possible.”
Buck brushed tears from his face.
“I understand.”
Buck imagined that almost everyone understood exactly what Eddie meant. He just hoped Christopher didn’t.
“Daddy?”
“Just hold on,” Eddie murmured.
“Okay, but one of us is bleeding.”
Buck jerked as the vehicle came to an abrupt stop, and Thomas dragged him out immediately. The SAR team was already over the ledge. He knew they wouldn’t let him go, and he was too compromised to fight them. Moreover, having to fight him wouldn’t be helpful for anyone.
“Eds? We’re here. Which one of you is bleeding?”
“Me,” Eddie said. “It’s abdominal. Probably cut from the metal when I was leaving the Jeep. I didn’t feel it, but that’s not a surprise considering.”
“Everyone brace,” Gaines ordered. “The Jeep is going.”
The sounds of the Jeep being dragged down the canyon by gravity was horrific, and it hit bottom with a violent, loud thud. It hit home, then, that Sonny Donaldson had tried to murder his family. He turned to Bobby, who was standing right next to him—clearly on damage management—and took a deep breath.
“Sonny Donaldson drives a bright blue F-350,” Buck said. Everyone around him stilled and turned to stare at him. He winced and turned off his mike as he hadn’t remembered having it turned on.
“Understood, Firefighter Buckley,” the dispatcher said. “The information is being relayed to LAPD.”
“We got them secured,” a new voice said.
“Great work, McBride. Separate them for transport and do your best not to make more work for the doctor that gets the honor of making Mr. Diaz feel better about this whole situation,” Captain Gaines ordered.
Bobby let him move closer but kept a firm hand on his arm. Buck wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t interfere because he was rational enough to know that getting in the way was unreasonable. He felt young, suddenly, and overwhelmingly unprepared for the thought of being alone in the future.
“Sometimes a single moment can ruin your life,” Buck said quietly, and Nash’s fingers clenched briefly on his skin. “This reminds me of the accident we worked on the other night—the driver died, and the baby lived.” He turned and looked at Bobby Nash. “Right?”
“Yeah, she’s fine,” Bobby said quietly. “There was too much traffic that night. I didn’t notice a truck.”
“No,” Thomas said from Buck’s side. “I didn’t either. But it’s very similar circumstances.”
“I’ve never believed in coincidences,” Sae said as she pressed her hand against Buck’s back.
He noted that her fingers were also curling into the material of Thomas’ shirt from where she stood closely behind them both. Thomas moved over a bit so she had room but didn’t let go of Buck’s hand.
Shortly, he watched as Christopher was passed to another firefighter waiting near the winch, and they let him go.
“Papa!”
Buck took his son with shaking hands and looked toward the set of ropes still being worked. “Christopher.” The boy was trembling, and he reluctantly took him to the gurney that Chimney had set up.
“No, I’m staying with you!” Christopher’s hands curled into his shirt.
“We’re just going to check you over, little man,” Eli Cobb said easily. “Does anything hurt?”
Christopher scowled but let himself be put down. Buck kept a hand on him as his attention returned to the people on the winch. He knew they’d probably immobilized Eddie’s shoulder for transport up.
“No, I’m fine,” Christopher said with a huff, and Buck focused on him.
“Hey.” He brushed the boy’s hair back from his forehead. “We need you to be really honest right now. Does anything hurt?”
“Daddy checked my neck and stuff when he woke up,” Christopher said. “I’m okay, Papa. My car seat didn’t even move at all.”
Buck focused on Cobb. “He was wearing a five-point harness.”
Cobb nodded and started checking Christopher’s vitals. “He’ll be sore, and there will be bruises. Car seats, if properly installed, keep kids pretty much exactly where they’re supposed to as long as the vehicle isn’t crushed.”
“Is Daddy coming, Papa?” Christopher questioned and adjusted his glassed. “We had to leave my crutches.”
“We’ll get you new ones,” Buck murmured. “And yes, he’s coming. They’re just going to take their time so he doesn’t get hurt further.”
“Not blue.”
“Never blue,” Buck promised.
He turned and watched as Eddie was lifted onto the ledge then placed on a backboard. Buck took a deep breath as Thomas and Cosmo joined Hen and Sae in lifting him onto a gurney. Christopher reached out for Eddie as they rushed past him, so Buck picked him up after Eli Cobb gave him a nod and followed his husband to the ambulance.
“I’ll bring your truck,” Thomas said. Buck passed him the headset he hadn’t bothered to take off before and kept moving.
“Thanks,” Buck pulled his keys out of his pocket and passed them to Thomas as well.
He slid onto the bench as Sae started cutting off Eddie’s T-shirt and immediately took the hand that his husband offered.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Buck blurted out. “You two can’t have any fun without me ever.”
Eddie laughed, then groaned. He glanced at the gash across his ribs. “Not as bad as I thought.”
Sae nodded. “Blood pressure is a little elevated.”
“Not a surprise,” Eddie murmured and focused on Buck. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Who would’ve?” Buck questioned as he released Eddie’s hand and held Christopher closer as the boy started to shake. “I think….” He tilted his son’s head back gently and found his eyes a little glassy. “Sae.”
“Yeah?”
“Is he going into shock?”
Eddie started to move, but Sae stilled him with a firm hand. She checked Chris’ pulse, then his heart, as Buck shifted him around in his arms. She pulled out a blanket, and they wrapped him up in it carefully after she took his blood pressure.
“Trauma response,” Sae said, and Eddie nodded. “Blood pressure is normal, but he’s cold. The adrenaline is wearing off for both of you, so we can expect some emotional reactions to the incident.”
“The man tried to kill us,” Christopher whispered, and Buck flinched.
They reached the hospital quickly, and Buck reluctantly put Christopher on the gurney that was brought out.
“Stay with him,” Eddie said, and Buck nodded. “Call Abuela to come get him when he’s released.”
* * * *
He’d called Isabel and spoken to her about the situation. She was arranging with Pepa to pick Christopher up, who’d seen a doctor while Eddie was getting an MRI. He’d barely been in the waiting room twenty minutes when Thomas arrived and sat down with him.
“We’re offline for heavy rescue, so Bobby said I could stay with you,” Thomas said. “Hey, Cupcake, how are you?”
“I’m okay,” Christopher said tiredly and yawned. “Being in an accident was a lot of work, Thomas.”
Thomas smiled then. “Wanna sleep on me so your papa can talk to the doctor heading our way?”
“Sure,” Christopher agreed and reached out for him.
Buck released his son reluctantly because a part of him was still on that drive, listening to his family in a dangerous situation beyond his control. He stood and walked to meet the doctor since the man was looking directly at him.
“Firefighter Buckley,” the man said and offered his hand. “Jeff Stevens. Your husband’s MRI was clear. The scrape on his left side needed four stitches. He’ll need to see an orthopedic for his shoulder. He has two fractured ribs but no outright breaks. The LAPD is here and requesting access to him.”
Buck exhaled slowly. “Okay, does he want me back there?”
“He wants you to stay with your child until his grandmother arrives,” Dr. Stevens said. “Considering the circumstances, we can’t blame him for that.”
Buck nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He took a deep breath and nodded. “Are you admitting him?”
“No, he’s gone through enough stress today. There’s no need to force a hospital stay on him. The physical injuries aren’t enough to keep him overnight. He is vigilant and agitated, however.”
“He has PTSD from serving in the Army,” Buck said quietly. “He is in therapy for it.”
“Then make sure he sees his therapist as soon as possible,” the doctor said and patted Buck’s shoulder. “Today could’ve been very different. I’m relieved for your family.”
His phone started to buzz in his pocket, and he pulled it out as the doctor gave him a nod and walked away. It was Sophia Diaz. He felt a little dart of guilt as he hadn’t even considered calling anyone in El Paso.
“Sophia, hey.”
“Buck, how are they? Abuela called us. There’s a video online from a news helicopter.”
Buck hadn’t even noticed the additional air traffic, but he couldn’t be surprised considering how media-aware LA was. “They’re both fine. Eddie has some fractured ribs, and he hurt his shoulder again, but they aren’t going to keep him overnight.”
“Good, good. Pop is buying plane tickets as we speak. He’s a nervous wreck over here. You tell my little brother that he’s a fucking Spartan, okay? That was amazing. I’ll text you with our flight details. We haven’t told Mom, by the way. She’s on a freaking cruise with her stupid friends, at any rate. I doubt it’ll make international news, and if it does, she probably won’t notice unless someone tells her. The only reason she saw Eddie’s YouTube debut is because our family shared it all over Facebook.” She groaned. “They’ll share this, too.”
“For the record, I absolutely cannot handle her right now,” Buck said flatly. “I’ll hurt that woman’s feelings if she comes here and tries to make any of this about herself.”
“We’ll manage her—don’t worry about it,” Sophia assured.
Buck told her goodbye and saw Bobby Nash heading his way with a pair of red crutches. “They got them out of the wreckage?”
“No, I went to a medical supply store and got these,” his captain said easily. “We got the measurements from the ones that were in the Jeep—Cosmo decided they weren’t structurally sound at this point. No need to risk a fall.”
“Do you have a receipt? I’ll file an insurance claim and reimburse you.”
“They’re waiting on a phone call from you,” Bobby said as he passed him a business card. “Showing up in uniform, plus the news coverage, equaled them not asking for a dime.”
“Oh,” Buck said and nodded. “Thanks. I’ll handle it. You can give them to him if you want. He’ll like that.”
Bobby smiled quickly and walked away from him, clearly eager to earn some brownie points.
Buck did the last thing he wanted to do. He searched for the video and found one from a local news station on YouTube. He turned down the audio as the reporter started talking. He really didn’t care what a traffic reporter had to say about the rescue itself.
The sight of the Jeep hanging precariously on a ledge was so shocking that he sat down and was only briefly aware enough to be relieved his ass connected with a chair. He must have made a sound because a hand settled on his shoulder, and he found that Thomas had crossed the room to stand with him. Buck was really glad for Eddie’s proactive response to the circumstances because he felt like the Jeep only stayed in place longer because Eddie took his own weight out of it.
Eddie leveraged out of the Jeep; he’d used the strap to make a harness for Christopher. Buck barely remembered removing it from their son while they’d been waiting for the doctor to see them. After the first movement, foot braced against the Jeep, he had to use the axes alone to climb away from the vehicle. Considering the fact that he’d had put his shoulder back into place, again, it was an immense undertaking. The strain was overtly obvious, but he didn’t stop moving until he was in a place secure enough to brace himself with his feet.
“Considering his injuries, that’s….” Thomas trailed off. “The shoulder and the cracked ribs…. Jesus, Buck.”
“Well, he had no choice, and Eddie doesn’t know how to give up. It’s why he survived getting shot three times, to begin with. Someone is going to connect this to his YouTube channel if they haven’t already. He’s kind of weirded out by the attention that came from my followers already. Now, there’s this.”
“Calls to 9-1-1 are public record in California,” Thomas said, and Buck turned to look at him in shock. “Also, dude, that whole thing about time and the rope was the most romantic fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You’ve got serious game, man.”
Buck blushed and laughed a little. “Shut up.”
* * * *
Eddie closed his eyes as the two uniformed officers that had shown up some time while he was gone getting an MRI leave and a man closed the door to the room he’d been sequestered in. They’d taken him directly to the room from the ambulance. Surely a security measure, but it hadn’t really helped his mental landscape at all. He was a mixture of furious and devastated. He was no stranger to a life-and-death situation, but it was the last thing he’d have ever wanted for his baby.
“Detective Lou Ransone, Major Crimes, LAPD,” the man said. “First, for your own peace of mind, Mr. Diaz, Michael Donaldson, Jr is in custody, and his vehicle has been impounded.”
Eddie nodded and cleared his throat. “He rear-ended us first, shoved us against the guard rail, then backed up to into us and pushed us through the railing.”
Ranson nodded and put a phone on the tray table next to him. “I have some questions for now, and we’ll arrange a formal statement later. I’m recording this with your permission.”
“Okay.”
“Have you ever met Michael Donaldson, Jr?”
“No,” Eddie said with a frown. “I saw him briefly at the LAFD’s academy when my husband was a cadet there.”
“Has he made any threats against you using social media that you’re aware of?”
Eddie shook his head. “No.” He shifted on the bed and took a deep breath. “We assumed that my husband was the target of his anger due to being rejected and the fall out of that.”
“Did you notice his vehicle on your street this morning when you left the house?”
“No, it was the first time I’d ever driven the Jeep, and I was getting used to the whole thing. My son was trying to talk me into taking the top off before we left, and I’m glad I didn’t…I think it would’ve made things worse.” He took a deep breath. “Which is hard to think about, honestly.”
“There was a news helicopter filming the whole thing,” Ranson said. “So, I’ve already seen the footage. Frankly, Mr. Diaz, that was the most hardcore thing I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure I could’ve done it uninjured, much less in your condition.”
“Sometimes you find strength in pain,” Eddie said frankly. “And fear.” He paused then. “But you should probably add pull-ups to your workout routine if you’re worried.”
Ransone laughed. “You certainly made a case for it. Did you see his face at any point?”
“No, just a person I assumed to be male, and the truck—it’s pretty distinctive. The color isn’t common. In fact, that has to be a custom paint job. It’s not standard for that make and model of Ford. The F-350 in that year has one shade of blue, and it’s much darker.”
“It was a graduation present from his maternal grandparents, per his mother, who is cooperating readily with the investigation,” Ransone said. “Do you know if he got out of his vehicle at any point?”
“No, I was unconscious for several moments after we went over the edge. I woke up to a 9-1-1 operator speaking to Christopher. He’d asked my phone to call for help and was basically yelling at the operator from the backseat. I had the phone tucked in the console. It was just a stroke of luck that it didn’t fall out. I’m sure you’ve gotten a list of my injuries already. I signed a release form for that.”
“I did, yes,” Ransone said. “Your doctor told me I’d have to ask you about a previous injury to your shoulder that has been made worse by the events of the day.”
“I was in the Army,” Eddie said, and the detective nodded. “I was discharged about nine months ago after being shot three times in combat—shoulder, side, and thigh. Before I was shot, I was in a helicopter crash that resulted in my shoulder being dislocated. I had to force it back into place. Then I was eventually shot in that same shoulder.
“This kid’s already gotten a soft ride for assaulting his own father while the man was on duty, and I need the DA to understand that I will not tolerate another slap on the wrist for him. He tried to murder my…my baby. He’s five.” Eddie closed his eyes because they stinging with tears. “I can’t…if that little bastard goes free….”
Ransone picked up his phone, stopped recording, and put it away. “Mr. Diaz, the entire event has made national news, and the 9-1-1 call was also leaked by someone at dispatch. That’s being investigated, but it won’t amount to much since such calls are public record. In normal circumstances, we can prevent the release of a call for an investigation in the short term, but eventually, it would’ve been made public.”
“So both are online?”
“Yes.”
Eddie glanced toward his own phone, which had survived unscathed. “I don’t know what to do with myself, but I’d really like to go home now, Detective Ransone.”
“Your husband is waiting to come back until the doctors are ready to set you free,” Ransone said. “Your son and grandmother were given a police escort home. You’ve met Sergeant Athena Grant?”
“Yes.”
“She handled the transport personally and promised to stay with them until you and your husband are home,” Ransone said.
“Today was my husband’s second day on the job,” Eddie said. “A job that Sonny Donaldson expected to be given merely because of his father.”
“I’ve seen Donaldson’s truck,” Ransone said. “He has no chance of denying what he’s done. We’re pulling footage from traffic cameras, and his vehicle has an active GPS system. His arrogance and entitlement is going to see him put in prison for a very long time. In my opinion, he should be facing two counts of attempted murder in the first degree.”
“I’m sure he’s got a lawyer already spinning a tale of mental disturbance and how he thought I was a threat to him,” Eddie muttered.
“I’m sure he is, but he tried to murder a child, and the current DA takes a hardline on such things. They’ll try to put down a plea deal because the city loves to save money, but it won’t be a soft offer. They can’t afford those kinds of optics, either. They already dropped the ball on this issue once, as you pointed out, because he should be serving a jail term right now for assaulting his father.”
Eddie just nodded, and the detective left the room. The door didn’t shut completely, and shortly Buck slipped into the room. He was still in uniform. Eddie reached out, and Buck took his hand immediately, pulling the chair as close to the bed as he could.
“I….” Buck lowered his head and pressed his face against their hands.
Eddie wished he could pull him close, but his left arm was entirely immobilized in a sling. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” Buck said hoarsely. “I can’t….” He cleared his throat. “Christopher has some bruising, but he’s physically fine. Abuela took him home. Thomas followed them and promised to stay at the house tonight. Christopher was upset to leave. I just didn’t think he needed to spend more time than necessary in a hospital. Captain Nash brought him some new crutches that he was quite pleased with.”
“I’m sorry to have worried you,” Eddie murmured.
“That bastard tried to kill you and Christopher because of me,” Buck said hoarsely. “I….” Tears welled and slid down his cheeks. “I felt like someone was trying to tear my heart out.”
“It’s not your fault, Evan,” Eddie said, and Buck focused on him. “I mean it—none of this is your fault. You can’t take this on. It’s not reasonable or fair to you. That kid did what he did because he’s entitled, cruel, and disturbed. Because if I was the obstacle he was talking about, he’s probably sitting somewhere assuming that if he’d succeeded in killing me that he could take my place in your life.”
Buck closed his eyes and wiped his cheeks with trembling fingers. “There’s a video online.”
“I heard,” Eddie said. “What’s it look like?”
“Like you saved our son’s life to a great detriment to yourself,” Buck said. “It was clearly agonizing, and frankly, Eddie, I’ve never seen…. Sophia told me to tell you that you’re a fucking Spartan.”
Eddie relaxed back against the pillow. “I can’t imagine how my mother is going to react to this.”
“She’s on a cruise.”
“Yeah, I know. She does an annual girl trip to the Caribbean with her sisters and all of their stupid friends,” Eddie said roughly. “She’s probably bitching up a storm about my YouTube channel, and this will just add to her belief that I’m a terrible parent.”
“You…. Eddie. I know you realize the damage done to your shoulder is…. You’ll probably be prone to dislocations the rest of your life because of what you did today. I can’t see how any surgery will fix that completely. You tortured yourself to save Christopher, and no one can legitimately say you’re a terrible parent after that. You were amazing, and I’m so proud of you. Plus, you were prepared to take the brunt of a 600-foot fall in an effort to….”
“I don’t think he’d have survived it,” Eddie said quietly. “But I hoped it might hurt less for him if the worst happened. I couldn’t imagine letting him hit the ground. It sounds irrational now.”
“No, I get it,” Buck said and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Eddie’s hand. “Let’s get you out of here, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Part Five
Christopher was snuggled up between them in their bed, and Eddie wasn’t sure if he’d insisted on sleeping with them for himself or for them since they’d both been hovering around him since they’d come home. Thomas Marshall was camped out in a guest room, and Bobby Nash had come and gone from the house several times since Eddie had gotten home.
Eddie sat up carefully. His whole body hurt, but he wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep. He picked up his phone from the nightstand and left the bed. Buck shifted in his sleep, and Eddie stilled until he settled back into sleep and then left the bedroom. The kitchen light was on, so he headed in that direction and found Thomas at the breakfast bar on his phone.
“You need a moderator for your channel, dude,” Thomas said roughly. “How are you?”
“Did someone lose their shit in my comment section?” Eddie asked warily. “And I’m okay.”
“Yeah, but people threw it right back at him and might have run him off the whole Internet. You’ve got some hardcore cousins, dude. Mercedes scares the hell out of me, which I like more than I should.”
Eddie laughed. “How many views?”
Thomas hummed under his breath. “Well, it was pretty close to viral anyway, right?”
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “That’s what I get for marrying a pretty white boy who climbed a mountain.”
Thomas laughed. “Someone has linked the news video to your channel already—the comment section on the news station’s video got shut down about five hours ago. The general consensus is that you’re a complete badass; lots of vets have shown up to voice their support and express their pride. As to the number of views, over two the last time I checked.”
“Two?” Eddie put the glass he’d gotten out down on the counter. “You mean two million, right?”
“Yeah,” Thomas said. “The news video has twice that. There’s also a version of it out where someone has put the dispatch call over top of the video footage instead of that breathless traffic reporter’s commentary. It’s all over TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.”
“Great,” Eddie muttered and picked up his glass to get water. “Thanks for staying—it’s helping Buck rest, and I’m not sure he would’ve if you weren’t here.”
“Yeah, of course,” Thomas said. “Mama’s coming over in a few hours—said she wanted to cook breakfast for you guys.”
“That’d be…great,” Eddie admitted. “My father and sisters will be here at some point this morning. They’re currently sleeping at my abuela’s house since they came in on a late flight.” He sat down at the counter and shifted his shoulder slightly in the sling.
“How’s that feel?”
“Awful,” Eddie admitted. “The doctor isn’t sure how much damage I’ve done to it, but at least I didn’t tear my rotator cuff again. I did the first time.” He paused. “Or the bullet did it. Either way, I had to have a repair done on that when I was first shot. Buck’s worried that I’ve done permanent damage to it, but it doesn’t feel that bad. At least, it doesn’t feel like it did before.”
“Well, you had bullet trauma before,” Thomas said. “That has to be a factor.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said and opened the laptop. “I don’t know what I’m allowed to say online about what happened with the whole thing. You interacted with this guy a bit. What do you think of him?”
“He had a boner for Buck pretty much immediately, but your boy was really quiet and kept to himself the first few weeks at the academy. Everyone gave Buck room because he was clearly serious about the coursework and didn’t chit-chat. When he wasn’t in class, he was on his phone. Probably with you.”
“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “I think he was nervous about being in any sort of school environment again. Plus, we were still reconnecting after so many years apart.”
“Anyways, Sonny followed him around like a puppy, and it was something of a joke that Buck didn’t even notice him at all. He really didn’t pay attention to any of us and turned down invitations repeatedly to go out after class without even really getting the details.”
Eddie winced. “Things were pretty stressful, and he had a big adjustment—going from single to having an instant family.”
“Oh, I’m not saying he was rude,” Thomas said. “He just wasn’t down for socializing and was clearly there for the job. It did kind of ebb out around him, and the rest of our classmates were far more serious by the end than they were at the start. His experiences and his frank discussion of them in classroom situations made many realize that they hadn’t prepared themselves for the reality of being a first responder.
“I sort of broke the ice eventually by asking for help with my rope storage. We hadn’t been taught to do it, and the instructor was clearly testing our knowledge on the subject. Buck was the only one to do it right, and I realized that immediately so I asked him for help.”
Eddie nodded. “Understanding the level of knowledge of his students was important, I suppose. Buck said that the instructors leveraged his experience a lot.”
“Maybe they did,” Thomas murmured. “It never seemed exploitative or out of line—except he got a little irritated that first day at the climbing facility because Wallace used him to shame us. It was justified, however, because we were all more interested in having fun, and none of us were taking our failures seriously despite being told to. Buck’s incredibly focused, and I’m relieved to have him on the job with me.”
Eddie nodded.
“He saved your life the day you met.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “I was climbing with someone who had no idea what they were doing. One cam gave away, and the other was sliding out. I couldn’t reach it. If I’d fallen, it would’ve been terminal as my friends weren’t going to get to me in time. He was just there suddenly with a beautiful smile and the kind of quiet competence that was utterly insane to see on a nineteen-year-old. He was thinking about enlisting in the Navy. I’m relieved to have talked him out of it.”
“He has a soft heart,” Thomas said. “Much too soft to serve, and I know how that sounds.”
“I get it,” Eddie said and focused on the laptop. “And I agree. Moreover, he wears that big, soft heart on his face nearly all the time, and I worry about him.”
“Well, Sae and I have his back at work,” Thomas said simply. “I have a foster sister—she’s starting college soon with a major in communications. I was thinking that she might be helpful with your channel while you’re managing all of this crap.”
“I didn’t realize your mom was a foster parent,” Eddie said. “It didn’t come up at all.”
“She’s fostered about ten kids over the years. Mostly, we were a transitional home, and the kids went back to their parents eventually. She guards their privacy zealously. Everstar was the only one to stay. Her mom died when she was fifteen. I remember when they brought her to the house—she was devastated and didn’t know how to deal with anything that was happening to her. My mom got her a lawyer, which ruffled the social worker’s feathers, but Everstar had an estate from her mother, and we weren’t certain what would happen without a lawyer.”
“I envy you,” Eddie admitted frankly, and Thomas sent him a startled look. “There’s a reason my mother wasn’t at our wedding.”
“Ah, well, I wasn’t going to ask, but your family sure had a lot to say about her that day. Some people were speculating that she’d refused to come because you were marrying a man, and others seemed to be convinced she hadn’t been invited at all. Then Mercedes posted on Facebook and got a lot of abuse from your mom for it.”
“She’s just not a good person,” Eddie said roughly and finally browsed to his channel dashboard. He huffed a little as he stared at the stats and barely refrained from shutting the laptop. “I want this, but also, it scares the hell out of me.”
“Afraid to succeed or fail?” Thomas questioned.
“Both,” Eddie confessed and took a deep breath. “I put in an application to be a partner with YouTube. I don’t even know if they’ll accept it because it just has this criteria you have to meet in a year’s time. I’ve met that burden already, but my channel is only a few months old with one video on it. Buck offered to help me moderate, but that probably won’t be enough with what has happened.”
“Well, special circumstances and all that. You’ve been personally featured in two different viral videos on their platform,” Thomas said with a shrug. “They’ll want to make money off of you if there is money to be made.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said reluctantly. “I’m not looking forward to some true crime podcaster contacting us.”
“Well, get out in front of it and tell your own story,” Thomas said. “It’s your experience, right? Own it.”
“I do need help,” Eddie admitted. “I won’t be able to pay much above minimum wage, and I can’t guarantee hours. You can bring her around if she can deal with that.”
“Honestly, dude, these kids are so desperate for experience that they work for free.”
“I’ve seen that, but I can’t…do that,” Eddie said and shook his head. “Maybe a stipend would be a better option—I don’t know. I’ll have to research it, and maybe she can see what her university has prepared for an official internship as far as requirements go. If she can get course credit, or whatever, that would be good. Right?”
“Yeah, I’ll text her,” Thomas said. “In the meantime, I can help, too, if you need. I’m more than willing to delete people’s assholery on the Internet for my own amusement and occasional barbeque invitations.”
“It’s pretty fun,” Eddie said. “A delete button is oddly empowering. I blocked a few people for homophobia already. And one asshole who called me a murderer for serving in the Army.”
“Bastard,” Thomas muttered.
Eddie just nodded and focused on the comments. “I have some comments held for review. I was considering turning on the community tab. Thoughts?”
“Well, yeah, you’ll probably want that. It could be a good spot for you to share updates about upcoming content. Have you considered a Patreon?”
Eddie shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”
“It’s not an immediate need, but it’s pretty common for creators on the platform. I support a couple of different ones—it doesn’t have to be expensive. Even five dollars or so a month would make people feel involved and not be a huge financial hit for them. It would create a community for you. I have to think a lot of vets would be interested in supporting your content.”
Eddie nodded and opened up Gmail. He’d created an account for the public, and there were hundreds of messages in it. It was overwhelming, so he switched to his personal account and encountered an email from his sister. He opened it and browsed through her bossy demand to be a moderator on his channel.
He laughed.
“What?”
“My sister is demanding mod access to my channel.”
“Not a surprise. She cursed out about fifteen different people in the last three hours,” Thomas said wryly. “And threatened one with a restraining order. She called some dude an inbred unpatriotic motherfucker thirty minutes ago. I think she could be a whole riot by herself.”
Eddie laughed and held a hand against his shoulder as he did so. “She’s always been my biggest fan in the family. We’re close in age, and for a while there, she was convinced I was a present for her since I was born just a week before her third birthday.” He closed the laptop. “I’m not in a good place to make decisions about any of that stuff.”
“Valid,” Thomas said gently. “Get some sleep, man. I’ll stand watch.”
“I appreciate it, truly. I know he’s in custody, but….” Eddie took a deep breath. “His father had his back even after the assault, and I don’t know how that translates.”
“A man would do a lot for his child, right?” Thomas questioned.
“I’d do anything for mine,” Eddie said.
“Yeah, that’s clear. Get some rest.”
Eddie just exhaled slowly and left the kitchen. Buck was sitting up in bed when he returned to the bedroom, and Christopher was gone.
“Where is he?”
“He woke up and wanted his own bed. He says ours isn’t comfortable,” Buck said. “Not a surprise since we put that orthopedic mattress on his.”
Eddie nodded and eased back down onto the bed. “How are you?”
“Tired, sad, and furious,” Buck admitted and put his phone aside as he turned to face him. “I can’t imagine how my life would even work without you and Christopher. I feel like I’m on the edge of total destruction.”
Eddie considered that and wondered how he could possibly make Buck feel better about the situation. “Do you need to make changes?”
“What?”
Eddie focused on his face and found his husband pale. “You’re giving us everything you’ve got, Evan. You told me you’d never regret it, and I believe it. That being said, do you need some room? How do we make things better for you?”
“Better for me?” Buck questioned. “Eddie, that bastard tried to murder you and Christopher. I was absolutely powerless to do anything and had to listen to you save yourself.” He rubbed his face with a shaking hand. “And it would’ve never happened if I hadn’t brought the two of you to LA.”
“You saved my life,” Eddie said quietly. “Twice over, Evan. I can’t imagine where I would be if you hadn’t come to El Paso when Shannon left. I want to believe I would’ve had the strength to stand against my mother without you. But I have to tell you if she’d succeeded in taking Christopher from me…. I would’ve had nothing left to live for at that point. The family we’ve made together—I live for it. I feel like I can survive anything because of the love and support I get from you.” He reached out and took Buck’s hand. “Do you see?”
“I felt like my heart was going to break into a million pieces,” Buck confessed and scooted closer.
“I’d never want to break your heart,” Eddie said as he let his forehead rest against Buck’s. “I’ll do everything I can to keep from doing it.”
“You’re the love of my life, too,” Buck whispered. “I knew it the first time we ever kissed that you were going to ruin me.” He pressed a soft kiss against his mouth, and Eddie moved closer. “As to the rest, I’d change nothing about the life we’re building together.”
* * * *
On day three of Buck’s four-day break from work, the District Attorney for Los Angeles County asked for a meeting. Buck didn’t know what to expect from it, but Eddie was clearly wary of the entire thing. Since things were dicey, they’d contacted Natalie Rutledge and met the third partner in the law firm, Isla North.
They’d had breakfast with her before the meeting, and she’d laid out a few scenarios, including one where they might be encouraged to accept lesser charges to make room for a plea deal. The idea made Buck furious, but it was clear that Eddie had expected that to be a possibility. They were escorted into a conference room where two men were already in place.
“Mr. Diaz, Mr. Buckley, thank you both for coming down.” An older Black man stepped forward. “Carl Banks, I’m the district attorney, and this is ADA Jesus de Costa. It’s good to see you looking…well, Mr. Diaz.”
“I’ll wear the sling for another week,” Eddie said shortly. “Surgery has been scheduled for my shoulder, but the doctor was encouraging regarding a decent recovery.”
“Isla, it’s lovely to see you as always.”
Isla stared for a moment, then gracefully slid into the chair Buck pulled out for her. “We shall see, Carl. My firm is already preparing a civil lawsuit against Michael Donaldson, Jr. in the event your plans don’t meet with our approval. A plea deal will certainly make a judgment in civil court easier, but I really hope you aren’t about to insult my clients by telling them that you’d like to let the man that tried to murder their child off with a light sentence.”
Banks exhaled slowly and shared a look with de Costa. “The family of Sonny Donaldson has pleaded for leniency due to mental disturbance. We certainly can’t deny he’s disturbed, but an evaluation has already proven him to be legally sane.”
“What does his father want in this?” Eddie questioned. “His son tried to murder two people—one being a five-year-old. There’s nothing he could say to justify that. You have an evidence-heavy case, right?”
“We do, and we’re confident we could put him on trial for at least one count of first-degree murder and win a conviction.” Banks took a deep breath. “And your child would be a witness in that trial due to the evidence we have, including the 9-1-1 call where he described the accident. In fact, the LAPD had enough information from your son immediately following the accident that they were already searching for the truck.”
Eddie nodded. “So what do they want? What’s he agreed to plea to?”
“One count of attempted murder in the first degree, one count of attempted murder in the second degree for your son, as he is adamant that he did not know your child was in the vehicle. Thirty-five years to life with a possibility of parole after twenty.”
“It’s more than I expected for attempted murder,” Eddie admitted. “Especially for a plea deal.”
“The defendant was told to expect additional charges if there is no plea deal,” de Costa explained. “Felony stalking will apply as he admitted to following Mr. Buckley home from work to find the house. Then he lay in wait for him to leave so he could get rid of his problem. I also believe there is a case for hate crime charges. We could push parole back upwards of forty years with those kinds of charges with consecutive sentences. The jury would not go easy on him. His attorney knows that the moment that the jury sees your son, his case will be lost. Even without testimony, which would be done remotely, his existence as a victim and the 9-1-1 call, which is compelling, would be damning.”
“Because of Christopher’s disability?” Eddie questioned.
“I can’t say it wouldn’t have an impact,” de Costa said. “And I would certainly hammer it home every single chance I got in court as preying on the emotional landscape of the jury would be paramount in getting the maximum sentence out of them during sentencing.”
“Also, it needs to be said that he won’t have an easy time of it in prison,” Isla said quietly. “Attempted murder of a child would make him a target from day one. He’ll have to fall into the right crowd, join a gang for protection, and will likely accumulate more criminal charges over the years. It is statistically likely that he won’t ever get out of jail unless he has an immediate and positive personality change upon conviction.”
“Then why have a civil suit?” Buck questioned.
“He’ll owe your family 20,000 dollars in restitution since we’ll seek the maximum fine allowed by the state. If he works in prison, fifty percent of his wages will be set aside for you. If he’s not paid the debt in full before release, the terms of his probation would include paying it off,” Banks said. “A civil case is just another layer of justifiable punishment for his behavior. If he gets out of prison, he’d be forced to pay any civil judgment you win as well.”
“Is that the road we really want to take?” Eddie questioned. “Continuing to make him an enemy of our family even after twenty years? I don’t know what I want this to follow our son into adulthood.”
Buck found that appalling, and he cleared his throat. “Can we get a permanent restraining order as part of the plea deal? One that covers me, Eddie, Christopher, and any children we may add to our family?”
He watched the two men exchange a glance, and Banks nodded.
“It’s a very reasonable request,” de Costa said. “His father would also like to meet with you both to offer an apology.”
“No,” Eddie said.
“No?” Banks questioned.
“There’s nothing he can say in an apology that I would accept, so there’s no need to have a meeting,” Eddie said evenly. “He raised a spoiled little bastard who doesn’t know how to accept rejection and has a history of preventing his son from facing the consequences of his own actions. Sonny Donaldson is the man he is because of his father, not in spite of him. In fact, you can tell Michael Donaldson that I want no contact with him at all, ever. Why he would think I’m capable of forgiving him or his son for the attempted murder of my five-year-old is appalling.”
Isla held up a hand when Banks started to speak. “Mr. Diaz’s decision is final. We don’t owe Michael Donaldson, Sr. an opportunity to assuage his own guilt. He’s the one that coddled and protected a would-be murderer. If you’d done your job when Sonny Donaldson assaulted his own father on duty, then he’d be serving a jail term right now, and Christopher Diaz wouldn’t be having nightmares about blue trucks turning into monsters that want to kill him.”
Buck exhaled slowly. “It was planned in advance. Did he duplicate the accident I worked my first shift on the job on purpose?”
The two men exchanged a look, and de Costa nodded. “Yes, it was premeditated. His father berated him and told him how well you did on your first shift by rescuing a child from a cliff in the middle of the night with low visibility. He rubbed it in his son’s face, basically, that you were all he could’ve wanted in a son.”
“And incited two attempted murders,” Buck said flatly, and the silence was so loud that it almost hurt.
“I’ll let Michael Donaldson, Sr know that your clients don’t wish to speak with him regarding this matter. Mr. Buckley, the LAFD has assured my office that you won’t be made to work with Captain Donaldson as he’s been asked to retire,” de Costa said quietly.
“That seems political,” Buck murmured.
“It certainly is. They really can’t afford to make a mistake in a situation like this,” Banks said. “It would be immediate grounds for a lawsuit due to a hostile work environment.”
“Will I face backlash on that front?” Buck questioned.
“I’d sincerely hope not, Mr. Buckley,” de Costa said. “If you do, I would also hope you’d seek an immediate resolution. We’ll be available to you as well if there are problems. It’s the least of what this office owes your family.”
* * * *
“Are there too many people in our house?” Eddie questioned, and beside him, Buck laughed. They were currently sitting in the garage. He was honestly surprised one of his sisters hadn’t already come out to get them.
“Well, yeah,” Buck said. “But it’s love that brought them here, and I guess I’m not really used to that. Wayne cursed me out for being surprised by his arrival.”
Eddie hummed under his breath. “You know that man considers you a son, Buck.”
“Henry keeps his distance on the job,” Buck blurted out. “I don’t know what to make of it, and I guess I only have one full shift to even build that assumption on. He managed everyone and the traffic on the scene so Bobby could be with me. Well, so Bobby could manage me. I guess they were, rightly, afraid I was going to lose my shit.”
“I’d have been inconsolable in your place,” Eddie said quietly. “The promo for the LAFD series published while we were driving—it was scheduled, and I just left it that way. That’s political, too. I’m hoping that going about my business on that front will tell the department that I’m not going to be a problem in the way they might anticipate.”
“It might be more of an issue if Sonny had been a firefighter. No rational person could blame the LAFD for the actions of either Donaldson,” Buck said. “Hell, I can’t say what I’m capable of when it comes to protecting Christopher.”
“I’d like to think we’re raising a good man,” Eddie said quietly. “One that will respect the rights and wants of others.”
“He’s very empathetic,” Buck said. “And careful of the feelings of others. I suspect that’s a life trend for him, and I’m grateful for it.” He took a deep breath when the door leading into the house opened, and Ramon Diaz appeared there. “They’ve deployed your dad.”
Eddie laughed. “He’s not a bad choice. It could’ve been Wayne.”
“Or Abuela,” Buck muttered as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “How is the promo performing?”
“Very well,” Eddie said. “I’ve got an email about my partnership application from YouTube that I haven’t opened. I’m going to do a video about what happened. I need to address it because just saying no to reporters isn’t enough.”
“I agree,” Buck admitted and released his hand. “Let’s go see what they’ve allowed Christopher to do while we were gone this time.”
* * * *
“So,” Buck said and sat down. “Two different companies have offered to send us toothbrushes.”
Eddie laughed. “What?”
Buck just shrugged. “I guess people see a spot where they can be helpful, and they offer it. They both tagged me on Insta, so it has a little PR edge to it. I put up a post requesting that anyone interested in that kind of donation effort instead donate on behalf of our family to shelters and outreach programs to provide that kind of support to people who don’t have it on their own.”
“That’s good. I’ll put up a post in my community tab about it,” Eddie said and reached for the notebook he’d been taking notes in most of the day.
He glanced across the room where Thomas’ foster sister, Everstar Bartlett, was working. She’d shown up with her own laptop and a packet of information from her university about internships. They’d found a template for an agreement for contract work online they both agreed with, edited it a bit, and signed it. She was an engaging young woman who had made a face at him when he’d refused to get a TikTok, even by proxy.
Eventually, she’d just added his anti-TikTok stance to a list of potential video topics that he hadn’t necessarily asked for but saw the need for. So he’d tasked her with creating a list of people and their stories that he could reach out to eventually for conversations. He liked her point of view and appreciated the challenge she brought to the table.
Sophia came into the office at that point with her iPad. “Okay, so I can’t curse people out?”
“It’s not very professional,” Eddie said pointedly. “I’m trying to build a career here, Soph.”
“Yeah, okay, but this jackhole needs to be taken out behind the woodshed we don’t have but should certainly build,” she jabbed her iPad, and Everstar laughed from across the room.
“I already banned that guy everywhere I could,” Everstar reported. “He uses the same user name in a lot of places and has his accounts connected. I preemptively banned him on Twitch, too.”
“I don’t have a Twitch,” Eddie protested. “I don’t need one.”
“You absolutely need one,” Everstar corrected. “And your login details are in your email. I’ve linked it to your YouTube channel and Twitter. I’m not saying you have to start streaming immediately, but keep it in the back of your mind because a streaming podcast would be a great move for you. You look great on camera, I’m stunning and funny, we’re both super gay, and people love that shit.”
“You’re willing to be on camera?” Eddie questioned.
“Yeah, sure, I post on TikTok already.” She shrugged when he frowned. “I doubt the Chinese government cares about me, and if some poor bastard is tasked with spying on me, I hope I’m entertaining them.”
“What does super gay even mean?” Eddie asked, and Buck laughed. “I’ve made a short for Instagram out of my first video, and I’ve made some notes concerning a vlog about the incident.” He focused on Buck. “And we have a pending conversation with Christopher because he asked to watch the video.”
“Should I step out?” Everstar questioned and shared a look with Sophia, who was leaning on Eddie’s desk.
“No, it’s fine,” Eddie said when Buck hesitated. “We’re just unsure how to talk about the sexual assault. After potty training, my ex-wife and I had a talk with him about inappropriate touching since she was going to put him in daycare. I feel like he would tell me if someone made him uncomfortable, but this is different. I don’t want to add to his trauma at this point. He barely spoke to the child psychologist that we took him to yesterday. She said it was normal considering his circumstances and set up weekly appointments for the time being.”
“Plus, Mom’s here,” Sophia said as she put her iPad down on Eddie’s desk. “Her plane landed an hour ago, and Pop went to get her. Mom is still kind of disbelieving that she’s no longer welcome to visit with any family in LA. Mercedes wants to roast her alive, and Tia Pepa told Pop she’d call the cops if his wife came anywhere near her house. He plans to put her on a plane to El Paso immediately. I don’t think you can let her anywhere near Christopher in her current state anyway since she was basically feral with me on the phone.”
Eddie slouched back in his seat and rubbed his leg. Despite the fact that his shoulder had been reinjured, his leg continued to be a source of immense discomfort for him. He knew it had to be largely related to stress, as the more tense he got, the worse his leg felt.
“Well, I can’t deal with her right now,” Eddie said. “I need to focus on us and not on her entitlement. Hell, she didn’t even try to reach out to see if I was okay.” He closed his laptop. “Everstar, help yourself to anything in the fridge out here or in the house. We’re going to spend some time with Chris and talk to him about the videos. Because he’s going to get exposed to the news footage eventually, and I’d like to control that as much as possible. You’re also welcome to use the pool.”
* * * *
“Have a good nap?”
Christopher shrugged and hugged his pillow tightly. “It was okay.”
“Bad dreams?” Buck questioned, and their son shrugged again. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Papa,” Christopher said and abandoned his pillow in favor of sprawling across Buck. “You even came to get us while you were at work.”
Buck cupped the back of his head and breathed against Christopher’s hair. “I….” He blinked back tears and focused on Eddie, who was leaning against the headboard of the bed. They’d retreated to their own bedroom for the conversation. “I will always come to get you, Superman.”
Wayne was manning the grill, and they were planning a little party to get Christopher’s mind off things. Buck had been relieved when Henry had shown up with a friendly smile and a rack of ribs. Ramon had successfully sent Helena to El Paso, and Buck figured the marriage between Eddie’s parents was completely over. He didn’t know how that would translate or what it would mean for the rest of the family.
“Captain Nash is coming over for dinner and bringing his kids,” Eddie said, and Christopher perked up. “Robbie is eleven, and Brook is nine. Sergeant Grant is coming, too. She said she promised to bring her son Harry to meet you. She has a daughter named May as well.”
“So we can play games,” Christopher said with a nod. “I showed her the big TV when she was here after the accident. She’s really nice, Daddy. I like her.”
“We need to talk to you,” Buck said.
Christopher groaned and flopped onto his back between them, and Eddie laughed. “Gah, Papa, all we do is talk, talk, talk.”
“It’s important,” Eddie said in amusement and scooted down on the bed so he could stare at Christopher’s face. “Listen, sometimes we have to have serious talks about important things.”
“Is the bad man getting out of jail?”
“No, he’s going to be in jail for a very long time. You’ll be a grown man before he gets out,” Buck said. “Not that I want to think about you being a grown man. It’s honestly kind of awful.”
Christopher laughed. “I’m gonna keep growing, Papa. I’ll be tall as you and Daddy one day.”
“Never gonna happen,” Buck declared and grinned when the boy laughed some more.
“What crimes did he get sent to jail for?” Christopher questioned.
“Attempted murder,” Eddie said quietly. “One charge for you and another charge for me. And we’ll keep track of him, so you never have to worry about whether or not he’s in jail.”
“That’s good. You should get punished for doing bad things,” Christopher said. “How’s your shoulder, Daddy?”
“It’ll be fine.”
“It hurt a lot when you were climbing. Papa said it’s never good to hurt your body,” Christopher said with a frown.
“Sometimes, we have to do things that hurt so we can survive,” Eddie said. “And I’d do it all over again to keep you safe.”
“Abuelo said you were the strongest person he’s ever known,” Christopher said. “He said you’d survived stuff that others wouldn’t. Is that true?”
“Life can be very hard,” Eddie murmured. “And sometimes humans do terrible things to each other.”
“Like try to kill each other,” Christopher said quietly.
“Yeah,” Buck said when Eddie hesitated. He scooted down on the bed with them, and Christopher curled his fingers into his shirt.
“Do you remember when your mom and me talked to you about bad touches?” Eddie questioned. “And how you could tell us if anyone ever hurt you, no matter what they might say to you about keeping it a secret?”
“Yeah,” Christopher said. “I only keep secrets about taco trucks.”
Eddie laughed. “Good.” He cleared his throat. “You asked about watching my video, and I told you we had to talk first.”
“Yeah, but I already know you were hurt in war,” Christopher said. “Isn’t that what your video is about? You getting hurt and coming home.”
“It’s part of it,” Eddie conceded. “But there was something else that I talked about in the video that I want to explain to you before you see it.”
“Okay.”
“When I was fifteen, a friend of my mother’s touched me inappropriately,” Eddie said quietly. “It made me upset for a very long time, and I didn’t deal with what happened. In fact, I’m still dealing with it.”
“Did she hurt you?” Christopher asked quietly. “Did you tell Abuelo and Grandma?”
“I told your Abuelo recently, and he’s very upset to have learned about it just now. Your grandmother knew when it happened, but she didn’t want to be embarrassed and… she blamed me. I didn’t want to tell you that part, but I need you to understand why I don’t trust her. I need you to understand why you can’t trust her.”
“Did the woman hurt you?” Christopher asked again.
“Not physically,” Eddie said. “But there are many ways to hurt someone, Mijo. That’s why we have to be careful with people and extra careful with the people that we love.”
“If everyone loved each other, we’d all be extra careful,” Christopher said quietly. “And that man wouldn’t have tried to kill us.” He paused. “Why did he do that?”
“Well.” Eddie focused on Buck. “Do you remember when we talked about consent and how it’s important to respect your friends if they don’t want hugs?”
“Yeah, Daddy,” Christopher nodded. “It’s their body, just like my body is mine.”
“So there was this man that went to the fire academy with Buck,” Eddie said. “And he asked him to go on a date.”
Christopher huffed. “We got married and made a family, Daddy. He shouldn’t be asking Papa out!”
Buck laughed and pulled him close.
“Seriously, that’s so rude!” Christopher exclaimed. “You said no, right, Papa?”
“Of course I did,” Buck said quietly. “I’d never, ever cheat on our family, Superman. I promise.”
Christopher nodded. “The man got mad?”
“Yeah.”
“He had bad parents who didn’t teach him to be a good person.” Christopher frowned.
Buck took a deep breath. “I think that’s pretty much exactly right. He wasn’t used to being told no. So, he tried to….”
“Kill Daddy,” Christopher said with a scowl. “I understand, Papa. I’m glad he’s in jail! Did he try to bad-touch you, too?”
“He didn’t,” Buck assured. “He just didn’t take no for an answer, and that makes him a bad person.”
“Why did he try to kill me?” Christopher questioned.
“You were just…there with me,” Eddie said. “He didn’t know you were in the Jeep with me.”
“That’s not true, Daddy,” Christopher said. “I saw him, so he saw me.”
“The second time he hit us?” Eddie questioned.
“Yes.” Their son nodded. “I guess he’d already hit us once and had to…keep going. Miss Athena says that criminals are dumb.” He turned to face Eddie. “I’m sorry your mom didn’t protect you, Daddy. Do you talk to your therapist about it?”
“I do, yes.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to the therapist about what happened,” Christopher said quietly. “I didn’t know what to say to her. She was very nice to me. I’ll try to talk next time.”
“You can take your time,” Buck said. “Maybe you can tell her about your bad dream, and she can help you with it.”
“Stupid truck,” Christopher muttered. “Abuelo says big trucks like that are ego enhancements.”
Eddie laughed.
“We’re gonna be okay, Daddy,” Christopher said. “I should change my clothes if we’re going to have guests. My socks don’t even match.”
“Which is your fault,” Eddie retorted.
“Daddy, blame is so ugly.”
Buck laughed and checked his watch. “I should go out and help Wayne.” He tugged on one of Christopher’s curls. “Unless you have any questions. You can ask us anything.”
“I still want to watch the video. Can we do it tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Eddie said. “We’ll watch it together.”
* * * *
Bobby Nash showed up with three kids, one of whom turned out to be Denny Wilson, who’d heard about the party and talked his way into the captain’s truck. Buck texted Hen the address, an apology, and an invitation. He’d gotten a smilie face in return. Athena Grant showed up with her children and no husband in sight, just short of Hen and Karen Wilson’s arrival.
If the kids had been instructed to distract Christopher or not, they were clearly doing a superior job of it. They were all in the pool under Thomas and Sae’s supervision. Buck watched them for a bit, laughed a little when Athena Grant vehemently declared no desire to get in the pool, and walked away before he could get a lecture.
He joined Wayne at the grill and leaned on the counter of the outdoor kitchen.
“You good, kid?”
“Yeah,” Buck said and smiled when the older man sent him a hard look. “I mean it. Things were hard, but every day is a gift, right?”
“Yeah,” Wayne said and nodded. “When’s Eddie’s surgery?”
“A couple of weeks.”
“Ramon and I talked about it—he’s going to come for the first week, and I’ll trade out with him for the second, so you guys have the support you need during all of that,” Wayne said.
Buck rolled that sentence over his head as he realized that he wasn’t being asked. He wanted to protest it on principle, but he was kind of relieved by the care being so offered easily by both men.
“Granted, I might have to go to El Paso to keep his wife from killing him between now and then,” Wayne muttered, and Buck exhaled sharply to keep from laughing. “Seriously.”
“Eddie thinks they’re going to divorce.”
“Well, of course, they are,” Wayne said mildly. “She protected herself instead of his son. Ramon’s never going to get over that. Bobby’s in the kitchen prepping sides. Isabel should be here soon, right?”
“She’s baking at home and will be here in time for lunch,” Buck said. “She promised us cookies. Pepa should be here soon, as well. If you’re worried.”
Wayne made a face at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just saying I noticed you checking Pepa out at the wedding.”
“This California sun is rotting your brain,” Wayne muttered.
“And you’re making fast friends with her brother,” Buck teased.
“He also signed up for Facebook,” Henry said as he appeared at Buck’s side and assumed a similar lean. “And didn’t friend either one of us.”
“Because neither of you can stay out of my business,” Wayne muttered and pointed the tongs at them when they both laughed.
“Heard that LA county is looking for someone to take over SAR for the Sheriff’s Department,” Henry said and grinned when his father huffed dramatically. “Might be nice if you were around more. Right, Buck?”
“It would certainly make Christopher’s goals to acquire him as a grandparent easier,” Buck said easily.
“Well, he’d be the only reason I’d move back,” Wayne muttered. “I don’t like anyone else in the whole damn state.”
Henry nudged Buck, who laughed. “He loves us.”
“He told me once that I grew on him like a fungus,” Buck said. “It was clearly a compliment.”’
“Clearly.” Henry nodded and laughed when Wayne grunted.
“Bobby Nash is going to regret hiring you both,” Wayne muttered.
“Nah,” Bobby said as he joined them. “Turns out you’re pretty good at turning dumbass boys into good men.”
Wayne laughed and accepted the bottle of water Bobby offered him. “I had decent material to work with.”
Buck’s gaze drifted over the patio and settled on Eddie, who was on a lounge chair near the pool. He slid away from the conversation with a brief look in Henry’s direction, who nodded. They’d formed an alliance to get Wayne to move back to California permanently.
He sat down on the lounger, and Eddie focused on him. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Eddie said and took his hand. “What’s up with you?”
“Just checking on you,” Buck murmured. “How are you handling things with your mom?”
“As well as I ever have,” Eddie said roughly. “Ultimately, she’s selfish and only cares about what she wants. I’m trying really hard not to take on any responsibility for the fact that my parents are certainly getting a divorce. Adriana said he’s thinking about moving to LA and leaving her in charge of the business.”
“Is that what she wants?”
“Yeah, she made that clear ages ago and got her degree in business management to prove it. She suggested that he just open a location here in LA—maybe a custom work garage. He’s always liked that work, and the market is high here for that kind of thing.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I wish my mother was a good person, but I’ve always wished that. We’ve everything we need—right here.”
Buck looked toward Christopher, who was laughing and clinging to Thomas, who was pretending to be attacked by a sea monster.
“You’ve made a very good friend there,” Eddie said. “I’m glad. It makes it easier to watch you leave the house for work.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Sophia and I played rock, paper, scissors, and I lost.”
Buck grinned. “What do you gotta do?”
“Apparently, she’s decided that since Wayne is old-school that he’d totally appreciate a shovel talk despite how toxic they are.” Eddie huffed when Buck laughed. “So, I’m going to delegate it to you. You have to tell him to mind his manners around my tia.”
Buck made a face. “That’s contrary to the plan that Henry and I have made.”
“Are you and Henry using my Tia Pepa to lure Evan Wayne back to LA?” Eddie asked in a shocked whisper.
“Yes, and we fully expect your support,” Buck said and shrugged. “Marriage rules, Eds. You gotta have my back.”
Eddie huffed a little but pulled Buck in for a kiss. “I got your everything, Evan. Don’t doubt it.”
Buck’s face softened, and he smiled. “I never could.”
The End
Thanks again for this series. It’s such a compelling read.
Very good story, and great series as well
Damn. Even though this is my third time through, the emotion in this is harrowing. You brought it so completely to life that I still want to search YouTube for those videos. I want to subscribe to Eddie’s channel. You create amazing worlds.
Thank you
I just reread the whole series. It’s so good. I love what you’ve created here.
I simply adore rereading your stuff. I think this would be my 5th walk through, so to speak, on this series.
The way you connect people, events, emotions…you are a true WRITER. Not that you need someone else to tell you that :))))
And you share your work with us, which is nothing short of amazing.
Thank you !
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve read this series already. Such a great story, well told. I find it very comforting, and that is a very good thing!
Thank you!
I really love this. Third read maybe? I love all of the tiny changes (Buck and Eddie meeting in Colorado; Bobby being a highly successful and pursued hire as a captain) and how they ripple out.
I still laugh every time at Carl Banks. 🙂 And then the song gets stuck in my head.
I got the name Carl Banks from a random name generator. So I have no idea who you’re talking about. Sorry.You mean — Walk The Line, right?
I reused a random name. lol. (blushes)
Carl Banks. Carlton Banks. Fresh Prince.
Oh well. Sorry. 🙂 it seemed very LA-centric.
OMG. LOL.
My brain just didn’t go there at all! But you aren’t the only one to comment on the name so you aren’t the only one to make that connection!
I’m also totally willing to lean into that going forward.
❤️ Sometimes leaning makes the ride more fun. 🙂
I think that I have read this series at least three times, and I still tear up at certain parts, especially when they’re on the 9-1-1 call and Buck is explaining what he means about the rope to Christopher.
Your way of writing Buck and Eddie and Chris is just mesmerizing and very very compelling. I am always excited to see that you’ve posted a new story about them or any of the other fandoms. Thank you for sharing your stories with us. I look forward to reading your next one whenever you post it. Thank you again!
I’ve read this multiple times and it is brilliant as usual. The problems with the VA struck a chord with me. As a veteran of WWII and Korea, my father used the VA for medical care. For years he went there for his PSA tests and they told him his numbers were normal. It wasn’t until he went to urgent care for a UTI that he discovered he had advanced prostrate cancer. The records his civilian doctor requested from the VA showed that they had been misrepresenting his tests results for years. I’m a veteran entitled to medical care, but after that I wouldn’t trust a VA doctor as far as I could throw them. I really felt that theme added to the feel of your story
I’m so sorry to hear that about your father’s care. That’s disgusting.
This made me cry s little bit when Buck said he was still holding his rope. Also, I love everyone rallying around them
I love this series so much! Your writing is beautiful ♥️
I don’t know how many times I’ve read this. It’s such a fulfilling romance. You make every moment so rich.
Thank you for the visit to this amazing world.
I have torn through all of your 911 stories in like… two days? Three days?
Christopher Diaz, Bea, you’re just SO GOOD at writing kids. And amazing love stories. And sex scenes. And assholes that try to ruin those love stories.
Every time Chimney Han appears onscreen, I have to fight the urge to whip out a pitchfork.
I love this, all of these stories, so much.
Time to start on the next one! 😀
Reading the part with Eddie and Chris on the cliff, especially where Eddie says he’d be keeping Chris on his front in case they fell, always makes me cry like a baby. Your writing is just so beautiful
I ugly cried writing that whole fucking scene.