Return to Sender

Reading Time: 129 Minutes

Title: Return to Sender
Series: Over the Mountain Across the Sea
Series Order: 1
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Romance, Kid!fic, Slash
Relationship(s): Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Discussion-Sexual Assault, Discussion-Violence, Discussion-Combat Injuries, Toxic Family Dynamics, Character Bashing, Explicit Sex, Attempted Murder, OC Character Death, Ableism
Author Note: The discussion of sexual assault is not explicit but the event happened between a fifteen-year-old and an adult old enough to be their parent. Please note that the warnings encompass the entire series and I’ve them made the same on each part just to make sure. Take care with yourself.
Word Count: 32,254
Summary: Reeling from the loss of his career in the Army, Eddie reaches out to the truest friend he has for support when his wife leaves him in the middle of the night.
Artist: Tintalle

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Part 1

“Hey, Buck, great job out there.”

Buck looked up from where he was coiling the last of his rope. The climb hadn’t been difficult, but the spoiled rotten hikers he and his partner had rescued from their own stupidity hadn’t been thrilling to deal with. “Thanks, Cap.”

Captain Lucas patted his shoulder as he passed him in the locker room. “You get the first steak off the grill.”

That sounded like an epic fucking plan, so Buck put the last coil of rope in his bag and stored it with the rest of the gear. Working SAR in Aspen, Colorado had started out as more of a pit-stop on his way to South America. Well, all of Colorado had been a pit stop, but he’d met a guy while in Colorado Springs and sort of fell in love.

The relationship had ended on good terms since Eddie had been transferred to a different base in the Army, and neither one of them thought long distance was going to work. They’d remained friends, and it hadn’t even hurt all that much when Eddie had told him he was going to marry a woman in Texas because he’d gotten her pregnant. That had been five years ago, and they still exchanged emails and calls when time allowed. Buck didn’t know if he was capable of letting go of Eddie Diaz completely, even if it would’ve been the healthier option.

He hadn’t heard from the man in about a month, which wasn’t unheard of since Eddie was serving over seas in a war zone. Buck meandered out onto the deck of the house-turned-SAR facility. He was ten hours into his twelve-hour shift. He’d been volunteering for two shifts a week for several years and made his spending money as a ski instructor during the season. It wasn’t a bad living, and he liked his life just as it was. Even if he was tragically single.

Shortly, he was presented with a steak and a baked potato, so he retreated to a table with his phone and food. He checked his messages, and after a few moments of indecision, sent Eddie a text.

Buck: You cool?

He set the phone aside and cut into his steak. Buck was never entirely sure when Eddie would be up as he often had operations at night based on casual conversations they’d had in the past. He didn’t think about what that meant often as it was hard to imagine Eddie in combat. Buck plowed through the steak because he’d worked his ass off all morning and was starving.

“You okay, kid?”

“Fine.” Buck looked up and found his partner on the team staring at him. “Seriously.”

Evan Wayne had been volunteering in Aspen with SAR since he’d retired from the Los Angeles Fire Department and moved to Colorado. He’d taught Buck a lot and had also given him a nickname since there couldn’t be two of them. It didn’t really matter that the older man actually preferred to be called Wayne. Buck had grown so used to not being called Evan that he wasn’t sure he’d answer to it without prodding. Eddie had teased him a bit when he’d signed an email with it but had accepted the change easily enough. Still, when things were hard, and Eddie was struggling, he called him Evan, and Buck didn’t mind.

“You’ve been giving your phone sad faces for weeks,” Wayne said with a raised eyebrow. “Your friend in trouble over there?”

“Well, he’s in a war zone,” Buck said and frowned. “That comes with some risks, right?”

“Yeah,” Wayne said. “It does. You aren’t next of kin, so you wouldn’t get notified if he….” He exhaled. “If he were to be killed in action.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Buck agreed, and he hated that.

There wasn’t even a plan in place for someone from Eddie’s unit to call him on the side. Maybe he should suggest that, but the thought left him cold and hurt. There was nothing he could do at the moment, and he’d been careful to keep his feelings to himself after Eddie had married Shannon Whitt.

Eddie loved his son, and Buck wouldn’t change a thing that had led to the existence of Christopher Diaz. He’d never met the kid and maybe wouldn’t for a very long time. It was clear that Eddie was keeping their friendship separate from his marriage and the family he’d made with Shannon.

His phone chimed, so he picked it up, and Wayne grunted a little before returning to his own phone. He was probably telling his son, Henry, about the idiots they’d rescued earlier. The older man wasn’t really on board with Buck’s friendship with Eddie, especially after he found out Buck had feelings and Eddie was married. Buck wouldn’t have a romantic or sexual relationship with a married man, and Wayne believed him when they’d discussed it. He just didn’t think the friendship was a healthy choice for either of them to make.

Maybe it wasn’t healthy, but Buck didn’t know how to let go of Eddie and hadn’t honestly tried all that hard. There wasn’t a lot of love in his life, so actively seeking to remove a friendship that was comforting and rewarding seemed like a big ask.

Buck focused on his phone and was relieved to see a text from Eddie.

Eddie: No can you talk

Buck picked up his empty plate and took it into the kitchen, then went into the bunk area for some privacy. It was rare for them to have any sort of contact outside of text without planning ahead. Sometimes, Eddie didn’t even get to call him at all. Another circumstance he accepted for what it was. Their friendship couldn’t come first and certainly wouldn’t ever come first, considering the kid in the mix. He couldn’t begrudge Christopher a single moment of his dad’s time.

Buck: Yeah

His phone started ringing immediately, which was a surprise in itself. He’d expected a FaceTime call.

“Hey,” Buck murmured and swallowed hard. “Eddie, are you back in the states?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck blinked in surprise. “What’s going on?”

“I….” Eddie cleared his throat. “I was shot—three times.”

Buck’s stomach lurched. “Jesus, Eddie. When?”

“It’s been almost four weeks,” Eddie said. “I lost a kidney and was discharged. I’ve been in El Paso for about a week. It’s been hard not to contact you.”

“Why didn’t you?” Buck questioned. He was a little hurt by the lack of contact but more concerned about the utter defeat in his friend’s voice.

“I didn’t have my cell phone in the hospital, and I haven’t been alone since I got home until I woke up this morning,” Eddie admitted. “I was trying to figure out what to say to you when I got your text.”

Buck considered that and frowned. He’d kind of suspected that Shannon Diaz knew precious little about him and his friendship with Eddie. He’d been kind of surprised when she’d never followed him or tried to friend him on social media. Most of the time, his friends’ partners did exactly that.

“Your wife doesn’t know about me at all, then.” He hoped that didn’t sound like an accusation.

“No. Shannon is really insecure about my bisexuality and gets weird about male friends I haven’t slept with. There was no need to add anything else to that situation,” Eddie murmured. “She left me.”

“She left you?” Buck questioned in shock. “While you’re recovering from being fucking shot?”

“Yeah, I woke up this morning, and she was gone—left me a stupid letter that I haven’t read. I barely got Christopher bathed and dressed for preschool. I couldn’t drive him and had to ask my father to do it. Which, you know, was the last thing I should’ve done. He asked about Shannon, and I told him that she had to go to work early. I don’t know if he bought it.” Eddie cleared his throat. “Evan, I need you.”

“I’m already on my way,” Buck said.

“I….” Eddie breathed heavily in his ear. “I can’t even take pain killers alone in this house. I’m afraid I’ll sleep too heavily. I’m not sure I can take anything while Christopher is gone. Pop said he’d bring him home. I just hope he actually does it. Both of my parents have been telling us since I was brought home by the Army that Christopher should live with them while I recover. But you know I can’t allow that—they’ll destroy his independence by degrees.

“My father actually tried to scold him for using crutches this morning instead of his gait trainer. He tried to get it and was pissed off when I wouldn’t tell him where it was. Well, Shannon said she threw that fucking thing in the attic because my mom kept making Christopher use it when he didn’t want to.”

“I’ll get a flight out as soon as possible,” Buck said quietly. “Take whatever you can tolerate for the pain and try to rest, Eddie. Also, text me your address.”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll try. Christopher is in school for another six hours. I might have to call the fucking police if my parents try to keep my kid.” Eddie exhaled slowly. “I hate that I can’t trust them.”

“I get it,” Buck said quietly. “Get some sleep while you can. Okay?”

“Okay. Stay safe,” Eddie said and ended the call.

Buck took a deep breath.

“Finally leaving my spare room, huh?”

Buck looked up and found Wayne standing in the doorway of the barracks. “Yeah, Eddie was shot and discharged. He’s in El Paso, and his wife left him with a four-year-old to take care of. His son has cerebral palsy, so he needs a lot of hands-on care right now.”

“Ah, hell,” Wayne muttered. “Need me to come with you?”

Buck smiled briefly and shook his head. “No, but thank you for offering, seriously. I’m going to take a flight to El Paso as soon as I can arrange it. Can I keep my Jeep at your house for a while?”

“Yeah, of course, kid,” Wayne said easily. “I’ll tell the captain you need to go; the next shift is already en route, at any rate.” He patted Buck’s shoulder and left.

Buck stayed where he was for a moment, worry churning in his gut. He didn’t know what it meant for him that Shannon had bailed on her marriage to Eddie. Immediately, he realized he couldn’t let it mean anything. The woman could come back at any moment; he needed to concentrate on being Eddie’s friend and nothing more. It wouldn’t be fair to any of them for him to have inappropriate expectations.

He downloaded an app to arrange the trip, created an account, and browsed through the options as he mentally made a list of things he’d have to do to pack. Buck didn’t own much since he liked to travel light, and all of his entertainment was digital. It took a bit of searching, but he found a flight leaving in three hours, which would put him in El Paso just after seven at night. It wasn’t cheap since he’d have to fly first class, but maybe he’d get some rest if he had the leg room to relax. He’d have to hustle to make it on time, but he didn’t live far from the airport.

* * * *

Eddie leaned heavily on his cane as he moved around the kitchen. He’d known it would take a while, so he’d started figuring out dinner before his son even got home. The relief of knowing that Evan was coming had done a lot to help him relax, and he’d managed to sleep quite a bit while his son was in school. His father had brought the boy home without any sort of protest or pretense of making a different decision, so that was something.

Since he’d expected an argument from his father, he’d sent Christopher to his room as soon as he’d walked in the door. His son clearly understood a strategic retreat because he’d immediately made for the safety of his own space. Eddie didn’t know how to take that exactly as Christopher hadn’t expressed any displeasure with his grandparents outside of their attitude concerning the gait trainer.

Ramon was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring silently at Eddie. “You’re not moving any better.”

“I’ve got a bullet in my fucking leg,” Eddie snapped. “Two weeks ago, I couldn’t even put weight on it.” He took a deep breath and braced himself on the counter. “Sorry.” He rubbed his face with a shaking hand. “I’m only taking over-the-counter pain reliever right now.”

“They left the bullet in?”

“They most often do,” Eddie said. “Extracting a bullet is only done if it’s going to kill you. The one in my abdomen was removed with my kidney and the shoulder…. Well, that went straight through.” He looked up and found his father pale. The man didn’t like hearing anything about Eddie’s injuries, and he knew it but was beyond caring.

“Let me help,” Ramon said quietly and shed the light-weight jacket he was wearing.

Eddie wanted to say no. He’d managed to get the chicken and rice casserole he’d found in the freezer into the oven all by his damned self, and he figured he could get it out, too.

“Please.”

Eddie grimaced and nodded. “Fine. The casserole is ready to come out of the oven. I’m going to get Christopher out of his school clothes. Did you want to stay for dinner?”

“No, your mother made reservations to some Japanese fusion place I’m certainly going to hate,” Ramon muttered. “You know I’ll help as much as you allow, Edmundo.”

“It would be easier to accept help if I didn’t feel like it was going to be weaponized against me,” Eddie said roughly and didn’t wait for a response.

He made the trip down the hall to his son’s room kind of slow because he was in agony and trying really fucking hard not to cry. He stopped in the doorway and found his son sitting on the side of his bed, wiggling into a pair of shorts.

Eddie laughed a little. “Need help, Mijo?”

“I got it,” Christopher said and scooted off the bed as he pulled the shorts up. He braced himself on the bed and adjusted his glasses. “I need socks.”

Eddie moved to the dresser and pulled a pair of socks from the top drawer. He didn’t know why Shannon was using such a tall piece of furniture in the room when Chris could only use the bottom two drawers. Moreover, none of the items he normally used were in those two drawers. He hadn’t asked her because he hadn’t wanted to micromanage her parenting, but it was a frustrating situation logistically.

“How was school?”

“Fun,” Christopher said. “I’m glad it’s over. I missed you today.”

“I missed you, too,” Eddie said.

“Where’s Mommy?”

“Still at work,” Eddie lied and felt like an asshole for it.

Christopher squinted at him but then nodded and grabbed his crutches. “Abuelo asked about her.”

“What did you tell him?” Eddie questioned and was kind of furious with himself for even asking. He couldn’t make his relationship with his parents something Christopher had to worry about.

“What you told me,” Christopher said and shrugged.

Eddie let his son walk ahead of him to the kitchen, watching the kid move with a critical eye. Shannon had told him that their son was in need of another surgery to help with his mobility, but she hadn’t wanted to do it while Eddie was still recovering. He wondered if it could wait and decided he needed to review his son’s medical records as soon as possible.

In the kitchen, his father had served them both and was in the midst of transferring the casserole into a container for the fridge.

“Thanks, Pop.”

Eddie sat down in the chair after helping Christopher into his booster seat and put a hand on the table as he adjusted his leg and rolled his shoulder carefully. He’d only come out of the sling shortly before he’d come home from the hospital, and physical therapy hadn’t been kind the day before. He’d probably have to cancel the rest of his appointments.

“When will Shannon be home?” Ramon questioned and checked his watch. “I can stay until then if you want to take something for pain.”

“It’ll be a while—she’s covering for a personal emergency,” Eddie said. “Plus, she had her own regular shift. She said she might end up sleeping there.”

“Your mother told her last year that she needed to give up that job,” Ramon muttered.

“Shannon worked hard to finish nursing school,” Eddie said evenly. “She shouldn’t have to give up her career because of mom’s outdated opinions about a woman’s role.”

Ramon grimaced, then shook his head. “She should at least take a leave of absence while you’re recovering.”

“We’ll be fine. Thanks for today. I didn’t want to navigate an Uber and preschool at the same time.”

“Sounds like a nightmare,” Ramon muttered. “I hate letting anyone drive for me. Did you want me to take your truck in for a tune-up? I’ve got a couple jobs lined up, but the load is low on that front at the shop. I don’t know when Shannon drove it last.”

Eddie considered that, then nodded. “Thanks. Maybe change the oil, too? I doubt it’s been driven since I was home eight months ago. She did say she was starting it at least once a week. So, there’s that.”

“Probably needs it,” Ramon said, then pulled out his keys and separated the two rings. “I’ll leave you mine and take yours. We can trade out again after it’s finished. Your mother will insist on driving tonight at any rate.”

“Thanks, Pop. The truck key is in the bowl on the table by the front door.”

Ramon nodded. “You two have a goodnight, and call me if you need anything.” He paused. “I’ll leave your mother at home.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

“Bye, Abuelo!” Christopher said before shoving way too much rice into his mouth.

Ramon laughed a little and left with a wave. Eddie almost stayed where he was, but he stood up and followed slowly so he could lock the deadbolt. When he returned to the kitchen, he propped his cane against the table and started to sit. The cane slid, but Christopher caught it with a smile and propped it against his crutches.

“Thanks, Mijo,” Eddie said and picked up his phone. A cursory check told him that Evan’s flight was due to land soon. “Listen, we need to talk about your mom.”

“She’s not coming back.” Christopher moved his spoon around his food and picked up a piece of chicken with his fingers, which he shoved into his mouth.

Eddie cleared his throat. “What do you mean?”

“I watched her go with all of the bags,” Christopher said quietly. “She didn’t see me.”

Eddie reached out and cupped his son’s shoulder. “Mijo.” He desperately wished his son’s bedroom wasn’t on the front of the house. “Why didn’t you say anything this morning?”

Chris frowned. “I didn’t want to break your feelings, Daddy.”

Eddie closed his eyes briefly and nodded. He squeezed Christopher’s shoulder gently. “It’s not your fault, okay?”

“Is it yours?” his son asked, expression clear and innocent.

It didn’t feel like an accusation at all, and that was a relief. Because Eddie figured it was his fault but didn’t know how to say that in a kid-friendly way. “I wasn’t what your mom needed, and she went to find that.”

Christopher frowned. “Will she come back?”

“I don’t know, but I have to make good choices for you and me, okay? I know that’s probably scary—I’ve not been around much.”

Christopher’s hand settled on his wrist, and it looked so tiny that it made Eddie’s heart hurt. “I’m glad you’re here now, Daddy. You always called when you were away. Will Mommy call?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie admitted, and the words felt like ashes in his mouth. He needed to read the fucking letter, but he didn’t think anything she wrote could explain disappearing in the middle of the night. “But you and me—we’re a team, okay?”

“Okay.” Christopher nodded and shoved some more rice in his mouth. He sniffled a little, and much to Eddie’s horror, tears started to stream down the kid’s face.

“Ah hell,” Eddie said. “I’m sorry, Mijo.”

The boy started to cry outright, and Eddie pulled him into his lap. The moment Christopher settled on his leg, a sharp jab of agony snaked up his spine, but he just swallowed hard and let his son rest against his chest as he cried. He ran his fingers through his son’s curls and blinked back tears of his own.

His phone dinged, so he reached out for it and was relieved to see a text from Buck.

Buck: I’m here. Renting a car. See you in 45.

Eddie: Thank fuck.

He put down the phone and took a deep breath. “How would you like to meet the best friend I’ve ever had?”

“That’d be cool,” Christopher said, his words muffled against Eddie’s shirt, then slouched a little against him. “Are they nice?”

“Buck’s one of the best people I know,” Eddie admitted. “Honest, hard-working, fun, and he’s going to be here in less than an hour.”

“Why?” Christopher questioned.

“He came all the way from Colorado to help me,” Eddie admitted. “And you.”

“That’s far,” Christopher said. “Right?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty far.”

“He must like you a lot,” Christopher whispered. “Will he like me?”

“He’s going to love you,” Eddie said and knew it to be fundamentally true. Despite the pain the movement caused, he put his son back in his seat. “Please finish your food, okay?”

“Okay,” Christopher agreed and wiped his nose on his arm.

“Gross,” Eddie muttered, and his son laughed.

He plucked a napkin from the little holder in the middle of the table to clean up his son’s arm with a sigh.

* * * *

Buck parked in the driveway next to a bright red truck, which was a bit confusing as he knew Eddie’s F150 was black. If he’d bought something new, Buck would probably know about it as Eddie agonized over financial decisions for weeks. He took a deep breath and turned off the car, then basically had to origami himself out of the compact vehicle that had been his only choice at the airport. He regretted not making a reservation before his flight.

Buck snagged his large duffel from the backseat. It held everything he owned, and he’d been using it since he’d bailed on Hershey and his parents. The Jeep was in his sister’s name, and he hadn’t considered it a problem until recently. He couldn’t sell it because his name wasn’t on the title. He’d tried to call Maddie twice but had gotten her voicemail both times. It was frustrating but not a new experience. His sister had been ignoring him for years, and he had no idea why.

He shouldered the bag and took a deep breath. Buck hadn’t seen Eddie outside of FaceTime since the man had left Colorado. Their friendship was the most important relationship he had in his life. Doing the right thing for his best friend and his small child was paramount. He’d seen pictures of Christopher and loved the kid on the pure force of his friendship with Eddie. He hoped the boy could at least tolerate him.

The door opened before he could even ring the bell, and Eddie was there, tugging him into a fierce hug. A sweet, hurtful longing welled up inside of him, and Buck pushed it down as deep as he could. There was nothing he could do about his own feelings, but controlling what he expressed and projected on others was very important to him.

“Eds,” Buck said as he held his friend’s shaking body. “Fuck, are you okay?”

“No,” Eddie said hoarsely. “I’m not okay.” A cane dropped on the porch, and Buck took a deep breath. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, I came,” Buck said gently. He released him and picked up the cane, which he gave back to Eddie. “Let’s get you seated. Where’s Christopher?”

“Probably making an unholy mess in his room,” Eddie said. “We’re getting ready for a bath, and that apparently requires a bucket of bath toys, which he can’t find.”

Buck watched Eddie take two steps, leaning heavily on the cane before wrapping an arm around his friend’s waist and directing him to a sofa. “I can’t fucking believe she left you like this with a four-year-old.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “I can’t either. I never thought…. I thought I could trust her.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck said and dropped his duffel on the coffee table just as he heard a series of dull thuds hitting the floor.

He turned and watched a little boy come into the room with crutches. The kid was wearing blue and red checkered shorts and a green T-shirt with a bright orange T-Rex on it.

“I see he has your fashion sense.”

Eddie huffed even as Christopher laughed.

“Christopher, this is Buck, my best friend.”

Christopher stopped a few feet away, head tilted up. “You’re big, like a mountain.”

Buck laughed. “It’s nice to meet you, Christopher.”

“You gonna help my Daddy?”

“In every single way I can,” Buck said, and the boy smiled then crawled onto the sofa.

“Great,” Christopher said and clapped his hands together like it was a done deal.

If he hadn’t already adored the hell out of the kid for merely existing, Buck would’ve fallen right in love at that moment. It must have shown on his face because Eddie just smiled and shook his head at him.

Over an hour later, Buck had wrangled Christopher into and out of a bath. He’d climbed mountains that took less effort, but maybe he was just fucking tired because he’d had less than two hours of sleep in the last twenty-four. The boy was sweet, chatty, and eager for attention. The last part was a little concerning for Buck. He’d grown up with parents who weren’t remotely invested in him, and he’d spent years dealing with the aftermath.

Eddie was sleeping on the couch when Buck went to tell him that Christopher wanted a story. Buck considered his options and went back to the kid’s bedroom.

“How about I tell you a story?”

Christopher stared for a moment. “Did Daddy fall asleep on the couch?”

Buck laughed and nodded. “Sorry, buddy, he’s just really sleepy.”

“How’d you meet my daddy?” The boy questioned and settled in his pillows with a little wiggle.

That was certainly not a kid-safe story. Buck considered his options for an honest but non-explicit explanation of his brief but passionate affair with Eddie. Quickly, he decided that the little boy really didn’t need any sort of information on that front. Buck blew air out between his lips, and he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“When I was nineteen, I ended up in Colorado. I had a friend who had inherited a cabin in Colorado Springs. He invited me up there for some hiking and stuff. I’d been in Florida for a bit, and it seemed like a change of scenery would be great. I agreed to go with him to check it out. Your dad was stationed at an Army base called Fort Carson, which was near the cabin where I was staying. He and a few of his friends were hiking in the same area as my friend and me. We met up, spent a few weekends hanging out, then we climbed Capitol Peak together.”

“What’s Capitol Peak?”

“A mountain,” Buck said with a grin, and Christopher’s mouth dropped open.

“Daddy climbed a mountain?”

“Yeah,” Buck said and pulled out his phone. “I’ve got some pics. Hold on.” He browsed through his photo albums until he found the one with the pictures from that trip and passed it to Christopher.

“Wow.” Christopher stared at the photo. “He never said.” He flipped through the pictures deftly, like a kid who had a lot of screen time. He hadn’t noticed a device, so maybe it was just parental phone use.

“Maybe he can tell you about it tomorrow,” Buck said and adjusted the covers.

“He looks so happy,” Christopher said. “With you.” He bit down on his bottom lip.

Buck took a deep breath.

“I’m glad you’re here. He was really worried about Mommy running away,” Christopher said and handed him the phone. “Do you think she’ll come back?”

The kid had no filter, and Buck considered that par for the course when it came to tiny humans. He’d had a kiddie class as a ski instructor, but the age minimum had been six. He didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep or lie to the kid about his mother.

“I’ve never met your mom, kiddo,” Buck said easily. “So, I don’t know much about her.”

Christopher nodded. “She was unhappy.” He shrugged and took off his glasses, which he handed to Buck. “I don’t know why.”

“Sometimes adults have complicated feelings,” Buck said, and the boy nodded so gravely that he couldn’t help but laugh. “Get some sleep—tomorrow’s adventure is ours to have.” He folded the glasses and put them on the nightstand.

Christopher squinted at him. “What adventure?”

Buck shrugged and stood. “We’ll know it when we see it.”

He hesitated only briefly in turning out the lights as relieved when a little nightlight flickered on in response. Buck left the door open and went to roust his other charge from the sofa. He found the living room empty and Eddie sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey.”

Eddie looked up. “I’ve disrupted your life to hell and back, right?”

“I was still in Colorado doing volunteer SAR,” Buck said easily. “It’s off-season for the resorts, so I wasn’t working or anything.” He sat down at the table with him. “My savings is fine.” He put a hand on Eddie’s forearm. “Hey, talk to me.”

“The letter isn’t…what I thought it was,” Eddie said roughly.

“What is it?”

“Instructions and a few paragraphs of furious ranting about my military service,” Eddie said roughly. “The instructions are for the iPad, which has Christopher’s medical records and the like. Plus, she left me an envelope in the top dresser drawer of our room. It’s got divorce papers in it that she’s already fucking signed.” He cleared his throat. “I logged into my bank account.”

“Did she clean you out?”

“She took half of what I had in checking,” Eddie said. “And demanded half of what I have in savings be transferred as well. Plus, she wants half the proceeds on the sale of the house, which she’s insisting be sold as part of the divorce settlement.” He gestured toward an envelope. “She’s out of her goddamned mind, Buck. I bought this house before we married, and my parents berated us into a prenup. She apparently forgot about it or thinks I’m far more generous than I am.”

“Can I?” Buck questioned as he reached for the manila envelope, and Eddie nodded. “You need a lawyer for certain. What about child custody?”

Eddie took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. “She closed the letter by saying she deserved a break and left me the name of a lawyer in San Bernadino if I have questions. Her mother lives there and is dying of cancer. Regardless, she’s agreed that I’ll have full custody on the condition that I don’t ask for child support.”

Buck took a deep breath. “Well, move the rest of the money out of that checking account so she can’t take any more of it.”

“Already done. I checked all the bills to make sure everything was current, then left in just enough to keep it from being closed. I changed the passwords on all of my own accounts and canceled the two credit cards she used that were in my name this afternoon while I was stalking your flight.” He smiled briefly when Buck laughed. “I also contacted the DOJ about my severance money, which was due to go into that account within the next thirty days, and had it directed to my personal savings account.

“My dad insisted I keep my savings separate from any account I shared with Shannon, and I’m relieved I didn’t give into her demands that I should share that with her. I’d be in a world of hurt if she’s taken what she thought she was due from that as well. The thing is that she’s worked part-time for the last three years, Buck, and I still paid all the bills. She’s contributed nothing financially to the house or Christopher’s care. The only thing I banked in savings was my housing allowance—which made her furious. She said I shouldn’t keep money separate from her but wasn’t willing to share her accounts with me.” He took a deep breath. “Regardless, I’ve made all the changes I can think of and even changed the password on the Netflix account because fuck her.”

Buck nodded and focused on the divorce papers. It was three pages. “So, she printed this off the Internet and just filled in the blanks, Eddie. One of the guys I know in Colorado had this same template when he and his ex were DIYing their divorce. They didn’t have kids or mutual assets, so it wasn’t a big deal. But this isn’t sufficient at all for what you guys need. So, you need a lawyer. Where’s the prenup?”

“Safe deposit box at the bank,” Eddie said. “Along with other stuff like life insurance policies, the deed to the house, and all that…crap that I figured should be kept out of the house in case of a fire. My parents are going to have a field day with this, Buck.”

“In what way?”

“They believe they should have custody of my kid, and they have since he was practically born. My mother thinks I’m a horrible father.” Eddie rubbed his head. “Maybe I am.”

“You aren’t.”

“You don’t know that,” Eddie said wearily.

“You’ve spent the last three years living and working in a war zone to make sure Christopher had the best possible care,” Buck said flatly. “Your combat pay paid for anything your insurance didn’t, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Sometimes they don’t think things are necessary if it’s just a matter of quality of life versus a health risk. He has another surgery due, and I don’t know how that’s going to go without my benefits from the Army. It’ll be three or four months before I can get any sort of job. My savings will maintain us, certainly, and the house is paid for. I think the severance check from the Army will probably cover any out-of-pocket expenses for the surgery, but it won’t be enough if social security says no. I certainly can’t count on Shannon to help since she doesn’t even want to pay fucking child support.”

“Did you have any clue she was this unhappy?”

“No, none,” Eddie said. “She stopped confiding in me over a year ago, and I don’t know why. When I was on leave last, she barely tolerated being in the same room with me and told me that my reenlistment wasn’t fair to her and that I’d ruined her life. But hell, Buck, we had no hope of providing for Christopher when he was first diagnosed without those benefits. I couldn’t take any risks. So, job hunting and hoping for the fucking best was out of the question.”

“Plus, your parents.”

“Yeah, my parents,” Eddie said darkly.

“I have a property in Los Angeles that I inherited from a maternal uncle,” Buck said. “I was going to sell it because I figured that I was just going to stay in Colorado indefinitely. I enjoyed the work—the skiing part and the SAR. Your grandmother is in LA, right? You’ve talked about her a lot over the last six months or so.”

“She’s not getting any younger,” Eddie said. “And I’ve missed her like crazy. Christopher doesn’t even know her, and that’s awful. My mother is working under the assumption that she’s going to have me under her thumb going forward. It’s like a dream come true for her, and honestly, my mother doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by my injuries. It’s like I’ve given her a fucking opportunity by getting shot in the line of duty.”

“And your dad?”

“He’s clearly upset by the injuries, and I think he hates seeing me looking helpless. It seems like Pop can barely stand to look at me, actually. He’s been helpful, of course, and hasn’t come at me with any of Mom’s bullshit. I don’t think that’s going to hold. My pop’s main job in life is enabling my mother.” Eddie took a deep breath and hissed as he shifted in his seat.

“Okay, you need something for pain and your bed.”

Eddie frowned and shook his head. “I don’t want to sleep in that bed right now.”

“Why?”

Eddie flushed. “It smells like her, and that makes me furious. I napped on Christopher’s bed today while he was in school.”

“I’ll change the sheets,” Buck said and stood. “Where are they?”

“The hall linen closet, but you don’t have to….”

“Hey, I’m here to help,” Buck said.

“I don’t know why,” Eddie confessed and flushed when Buck frowned at him. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a friend like you. You just dropped your whole damn life and came here, Evan. I’m not even sure what I expected when I called you, but you’ve gone above and beyond. I fucking adore you for it, but…it’s just unreal.”

Buck felt his face heating. “You’re the best friend I have—there’s no one else in my life I’ve ever trusted like I do you. This is what you need, so it’s what you get. Get your pain pills and brush your teeth while I take care of the bed.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

He walked away because Buck really didn’t want to talk about his feelings or really examine his own motivations for immediately coming to El Paso. The circumstances were hard, and he didn’t want to make it worse for anyone. There was a part of him that wondered if Shannon was actually going to stay gone or if regret would get the best of her sooner rather than later.

Buck didn’t understand how she could walk away from her own child. It was clear she’d invested a lot of her time and energy into Christopher, and nothing about her actions made sense to him. He wondered if they made sense to her. He stripped the bed quickly and found some sheets in the linen closet after a quick search. Fortunately, he’d found the closet during bath time, so the search hadn’t taken a very long time.

“There’s a pull-out in the den,” Eddie said from his place in the doorway. “Thanks for this. I feel ridiculous.”

“You’re not ridiculous,” Buck assured. “Hell, Eds, sleep is far too important to let anything stand in the way of it. I’ll take all of this bedding to the laundry room, then figure out the den.”

“I took the cushions off, but….” Eddie huffed and ran a hand over his head. “I didn’t want to risk falling trying to pull the bed part out.”

Buck sighed at him. “Get in this bed and try to sleep, okay? Did you take a pain pill?”

“Just one a few minutes ago,” Eddie said and gratefully sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m really fucking mad at her.”

“You’re allowed all of that,” Buck said. “But Christopher’s probably still trying to figure out how he feels, and we don’t want him to take on your anger, right?”

“Right,” Eddie said and slowly pulled his injured leg onto the bed, then pulled the sheet and blanket up. “I wanted better for my son, Evan.”

“What do you mean?” Buck questioned.

“I just wanted him to have a good mom,” Eddie said roughly. “A mom that would listen to him and treat him like a person. My mother treated all of her children like accessories and still does in some ways.” He rubbed his face with both hands.

Buck sat down on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath as Eddie just snuggled down in the blanket. “You’ve never really talked much about your mom before, except for the thing with her friend.”

“It’s hard to ignore my issues with her now,” Eddie admitted. “I can’t trust her, and I’ve known that since I was a teenager. What she wants and how she looks is always going to be more important to her. She’s not allowed to keep Christopher by herself, and that offends the hell out of her. I told my pop after my son was born that if he couldn’t stay sober that neither of them would have any access to my child at all. I can’t say it was easy, but I made him realize I was serious and that his alcoholism made him unsafe.”

“It must have been hard to maintain that boundary when you were serving overseas.”

“Not at all,” Eddie said wryly. “Shannon can’t stand either of my parents and never cared to keep it to herself. She’d have refused all contact if they hadn’t been convenient babysitters, and even then, she often preferred to pay someone.”

Buck stood. “Get some sleep, Eds. You really need it.”

Eddie caught his hand and held tight. “Thank you for coming. For having my back.”

“It’s what we promised, right?” Buck questioned and squeezed Eddie’s hand gently before releasing him.

“Right,” Eddie murmured. “Good night.”

 

Part 2

Eddie stepped out of the shower feeling better than he had in weeks. The pain was still there, but it didn’t feel overwhelming anymore. That was to Buck’s credit, who’d woken him up twice in the night. Once because Eddie was having a nightmare he didn’t remember, and a second time involved water and more pain pills. Still, he’d slept surprisingly well and no longer felt the world was going to crush him.

He dressed in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, then headed toward the noise in the house. Christopher and Buck were in the kitchen, and his son was sitting on one of the high-back bar stools, which had been moved across the room to sit by the stove. Buck was frying something in a pan.

“What’s on the menu?”

“Daddy, hi,” Christopher said with a smile. “Bucky is making grilled cheese.”

“For breakfast?” Eddie questioned.

“Food is food,” his son said gravely, and Buck laughed.

“I can’t really cook, Eds,” Buck admitted and shrugged.

“We’re in trouble because I can’t cook either,” Eddie said, and Buck grimaced.

“Well, I’ll just get on YouTube or something,” Buck decided. “I can grill. Can you grill?”

“I’m from Texas,” Eddie said huffily, and Buck laughed. “But, yeah, I guess we’re about to get really friendly with YouTube.” He kissed the top of his son’s head as the boy giggled. “I think there is some pre-cooked sausage in the fridge. We can get a chicken from the deli at the grocery store, too.”

“Deal,” Buck said. “I’ll pillage a grocery store before lunch.”

Eddie nodded and went to the fridge. He pulled out the box of sausage and flipped it over to check the fat content. It wasn’t great, but it was pork sausage, so he wasn’t surprised. “There’s a whole dozen eggs, too.”

“That’s an experiment in the making,” Buck admitted. “Maybe we could scramble them?” He shrugged. “Let’s try that when Superman isn’t starving.”

“I am starving,” Chris declared and sort of puffed up his chest, which did have the Superman logo blazed across it.

Eddie smiled at them both and put the box down on the counter next to Buck.

“How about some over-the-counter pain relief?” Buck questioned. “Tylenol?”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed and went to the cabinet where all the medications for the house were kept, even as his phone went off. He pulled the device out of his pocket as he snagged the bottle, and headed for the kitchen table.

“Hello.”

“Eddie, I’m coming to pick up Christopher.”

Eddie frowned at his mother’s authoritative tone. “No, you aren’t. You know you’re not allowed unsupervised visits, and Pop is at work.”

She made a frustrated noise in his ear. “I don’t care what Shannon wants, Eddie! I’m picking up my grandson, and he’s spending the weekend with me.”

“No.” Eddie took a deep breath. “You don’t get to make decisions on this subject, Mom.” He glanced toward his son, who was staring at him. “I haven’t seen my son in eight months, so Christopher isn’t going to spend the night anywhere for a while, maybe not until he goes to college. You don’t get to decide otherwise, and I don’t honestly care if that pisses you off. You have zero authority in my home and no right to demand any.”

“You’re not going to talk to me this way!”

“Don’t give me orders,” Eddie said evenly. “Frankly, you aren’t qualified to do so. And don’t come over here today. I’d rather not have to deal with you right now.”

“I’m almost there, and I’m taking Christopher.”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Did you bully Shannon like this while I was gone, Mom?”

“I’m not bullying you! And stop arguing with me!”

“Do not come here,” Eddie snapped. “I’ll call the cops. I swear to God.” He hung up and immediately dialed his father’s number.

“Eddie, I was going to call you. Your truck is fine—basically. We’re doing the oil change and some maintenance. Figured I’d change out the belts and filters while I have it. You needed new windshield wipers, so I replaced those. How are you this morning?”

“Fine. Mom just called me and thinks she’s going to come here and do whatever the hell she wants,” Eddie said plainly. “And that includes ignoring my parental authority. I’m telling you this because if she actually starts banging on my door, I’m going to call the cops.”

Ramon huffed. “She was supposed to stay home. I can’t…deal with this while I’m at work, Mijo.”

“Then you can bail your wife out of jail,” Eddie retorted, and his father groaned. “I mean it, Pop. I can’t…handle this bullshit right now, and she doesn’t seem to give a fuck how I feel or what I’m going through.”

“Your mother doesn’t….” Ramon sighed and trailed off. “I’ll call her and tell her to give you some space. I can’t say she’ll actually listen to me.”

“She’s on the road to having no contact at all with Christopher or me, and I mean it,” Eddie said and closed his eyes when his father’s breath hitched. “Her selfish and unreasonable desire to mother my child doesn’t give her the actual right to fucking do so.”

“I understand,” Ramon said.

“I really hope so,” Eddie muttered. “I’m going to go.”

“Get some rest, please,” Ramon said and hung up.

A plate of grilled cheese hit the table as he put down his phone, and Buck put Christopher into his booster seat. Eddie flushed at the look his friend sent him, so he focused on his son and found him frowning. Eddie took a moment to calm down, ashamed of his lack of emotional control. He’d worked hard, over the years, to regulate his temper when it came to his mother and her unreasonable behavior.

“Is Grandma coming over?” Christopher questioned.

“I told her not to,” Eddie said. “And you aren’t spending the weekend with her, so please don’t ask.”

“I wasn’t gonna,” Christopher retorted and rolled his eyes. “It’s no fun over there. And Buck’s here. He’s the most fun ever.”

Buck laughed, and Eddie just sighed because he couldn’t even disagree. Evan Buckley had changed him and his perspective on life in a hundred different ways during the time they’d spent together in Colorado.

In a totally uncivilized manner, the three of them ate the sandwiches off the same plate and argued over the sausage links. Eddie was entirely certain he was going to get the worst father of the year award, and he had no business letting his twenty-four-year-old best friend make meal decisions.

“Let’s not discuss this meal with anyone.”

Buck laughed. “Deal.”

“It was great,” Christopher declared and snagged the last sausage link off the plate. “Can we call Mommy?”

Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. “I can try.”

“I can leave her a message,” Christopher said. “Like I did for you when you were in the Army.”

After breakfast, if it could be called that, Eddie took Christopher into the living room and called Shannon. It went directly to voice mail, so he let his son leave a message. It broke his heart to hear his son tell his mother about the day he’d had without her and ask her to call back when she wasn’t working.

Thankfully, Buck distracted him after that with some kid show on TV, and his front porch stayed free of his mother. Eddie took the phone into his bedroom and sat down on the bed to text Shannon. It was infuriating but not surprising that she’d let the call go to voice mail. Christopher had often left him voice mails once he’d started talking, and it had been a separate thing from scheduled FaceTime calls, which he’d tried to do as often as possible.

The tone of her note and the way she’d left felt so disrespectful and cruel that Eddie felt like he barely knew the woman. They’d had fun as teenagers, and he didn’t regret the relationship as it had given him his son. He’d never, ever regret a single moment in his life that had led him to Christopher.

He wanted to think better of the woman he’d married, but he felt betrayed and abandoned. Moreover, Eddie knew that his son’s feelings were mercurial and uncertain at the moment but that Christopher was going to land in one of two areas fairly soon regarding his mother. He was either going to be heartbroken and sad over his mother’s disappearance. Or he was going to be heartbroken and furious. Eddie wasn’t certain which response would be the healthiest.

He focused on his phone and quickly wrote out a text to his wife.

Eddie: I’m not going to give you half my savings and you have 24 hours to return the money you stole from me. You had your own damn salary which was never used to pay bills so you shouldn’t need what I earned with my blood. The prenup is clear about the fact that you can’t ask for any of my assets and that includes my money or the house so you aren’t getting half of anything else either.

Eddie: I’m not signing these divorce papers but you’ll hear from my lawyer as soon as I can arrange it. Don’t make yourself too hard to find at your mother’s house Shan. If you continue to make yourself unavailable to our son you’ll never see him again. If you fail to return the money, there will be legal consequences.

He waited and wasn’t surprised when a little bubble popped up, indicating she was responding.

Shannon: I can’t deal with you don’t call me again

Eddie: That wasn’t me. It was Christopher. He left you a message.

Shannon: I can’t be his mother right now. He needs too much and I want some freedom. You’ll understand that I’m sure you’ve been the absent parent since he was born.

Eddie: I never ignored his calls or yours for that matter. But if that’s how you want this to go. Fine. I’ll let my lawyer know that you don’t want contact with your own child.

Shannon: I deserve that money and I’m not giving it back.

Eddie: I’m not playing about the money and good luck getting out of paying child support.

Shannon: I’m sure the state of Texas will move so quickly to get your few hundred dollars a month.

Eddie: How does it feel to betray your own husband and child?

Shannon: Like you haven’t been having an affair for years with that asshole in Colorado? You left your Apple ID logged in on my iPad Eddie! I saw the messages! I should’ve copied all that crap when I had a chance!

Eddie frowned at his phone because he’d had to reset his Apple account during his last leave because he’d locked himself out, and he’d used Shannon’s iPad to do it since it was easier than trying to work it all out on his phone. But he’d been diligent about logging his profile out whenever he’d used it. He went into his account and changed the password again as he considered how to respond to her accusation.

He knew his chat history with Buck wouldn’t reveal anything inappropriate. Though he would’ve preferred it if Shannon had never seen it, and that made him realize he needed to unpack all of that. He didn’t think having a friend he didn’t share with his wife was any sort of cheating, but Eddie could acknowledge he just hadn’t wanted his wife anywhere near Evan Buckley.

Eddie: I’ve never cheated on you.

Shannon: Why don’t you google EMOTIONAL AFFAIR and get back to me.

Eddie winced. He loved Shannon but had never been in love with her. He wouldn’t have married her at all if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. It was one reason why he hadn’t fought all that hard against the idea of a prenup. Maybe part of him had always known the marriage wasn’t going to last. He felt like an asshole for the whole thing and didn’t know how to process all of it.

Eddie: I didn’t cheat on you Shan. Return the money or face charges. You logged into my bank account and transferred money out—your name wasn’t anywhere on it. Taking that money was a felony. I will pursue it.

Shannon: You son of a bitch.

Eddie rubbed his face and dropped his phone on the bed.

“You okay?”

“Shannon thinks I’m having an emotional affair with some asshole from Colorado.”

“Oh.” Buck exhaled slowly. “Best not tell her I’m here, then.”

“Well, this is my fucking house, and she’s not here so….” Eddie huffed and waved his hands.

“You really gotta censor yourself, Eds,” Buck said quietly and glanced down the hallway. “I’m not trying to tell you how to be a parent—but when you were arguing with your mother then bitching at your father about your mother, Christopher almost cried.”

“I’ve…damn it. I’m the worst father alive.”

“No, you’re just a man who hasn’t had a lot of practice,” Buck said. “You love your son, Eddie, and you want the best for him. You risked your life day in and day out, proving that. My own father wouldn’t cross the street for me.”

Eddie cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Okay. I don’t want to…hurt him. Anything else?”

“Well, you probably need to look up parental alienation so you can’t be accused of it during a court process if there is one. Also, if your parents are prone to bashing Shannon, then you’ll want to nip that in the bud, too. It’ll come back to haunt you. Courts frown heavily on that shit, and it can cause long-reaching mental health issues in children. Remember my friend Rick?”

“Yeah, the one with the red hair,” Eddie said and rubbed his neck. “I was stupidly jealous of him until I realized he was married to a woman.”

Buck laughed. “What?”

“You were really close to him,” Eddie said sourly. “And it seemed like he had some feelings going on for you despite what you’d said about it.”

“Ah, well, you aren’t wrong about that part, actually. There were some feelings, but I was never interested in him that way because he’s a decade older than me, and at twenty, the age difference mattered a lot. We aren’t close anymore as a result. But that all happened after you were gone. He left his wife a few years ago because he fell in love with another man. His wife vilified him to their kid because he left her for another man. Eventually, the kid got so messed up mentally because of her actions that the court removed him from the home and put him in foster care.

“Rick didn’t get to see his own kid for like six months because the boy had to be deprogrammed by a therapist. His own mother had convinced him that his father was a monster who hated him. There are still attachment issues and emotional regulation problems. He was three when it started. Rick can’t even put in him public school due to the behavioral issues that his ex-wife caused because she wanted to punish him for leaving her by making their son hate and fear him.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie said. “I’d never….”

“No, of course, you wouldn’t.” Buck paused. “But your mother would, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “She would. I can’t let her have him at her house anymore, not even when Pop is around.”

“I wouldn’t.” Buck cleared his throat and checked his watch. “Do you have physical therapy today?”

“No, on Monday,” Eddie said. “Christopher has physical therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My pop has my truck, but he’ll bring it back sometime this evening. We can figure out how to return your rental car.”

Buck nodded. “They’ll come pick it up for me if I call in and ask. I’ll do that when your truck is back in the driveway. I don’t want to depend on your parents for transportation at this point. We can’t know how they’re going to react to me.”

“They’re going to be more focused on Shannon’s disappearance. I’ll get a lot of grief for it—her just walking out on me in the middle of the fucking night.”

“Don’t tell them that part,” Buck said with a shrug. “Tell them that you’ve separated and are getting a divorce. They don’t need the details. Despite what your parents think, they aren’t actually entitled to know everything about your life.”

His mother had been berating every single detail of his life out of him since he was a child, so that was kind of hard to wrap his head around. Drawing a line with her was always stressful and more effort than it had to be. His hand settled on his thigh and rubbed gently against the still-healing scar. He couldn’t feel the bullet in any realistic fashion, but there seemed to be some sort of echo of pain—a sharp, stinging sensation of the bullet entering his body.

“Hey.” Buck put a hand on his shoulder. “You with me?”

“Yeah.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I’m trying to be. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me any apologies,” Buck said quietly.

“Don’t I?” Eddie asked helplessly. “Were we having an emotional affair, Evan?”

“I don’t think so,” Buck admitted. “But I don’t know what your conversations with your wife were like. You said she didn’t know about me.”

“She saw our chats in my iCloud when I was home last,” Eddie said roughly and stood. He hissed at the sudden movement and braced himself on the footboard of the bed. “Fuck.”

“Do you have any exercises to do at home?” Buck questioned.

“Yes.”

“Then we should do them,” Buck said firmly. “Then we’ll ice your leg.”

“Buck.” Eddie barely kept the whine out of his voice. He was mentally exhausted, and the last thing he wanted to do was his physical therapy exercises. “I’m tired.”

He sat back down on the bed as Buck sighed.

“Of course you are,” Buck said. “But, if you want a full recovery, you have to do the work. I know you’re dealing with a lot on the injury front. How are your stomach muscles? Was there a lot of internal damage during the kidney removal?”

“No, not in comparison. They were quick about it since they weren’t trying to save the organ. My abdominal muscles aren’t as firm as they were, but they went in on the side, so there was no surgical interference with that.” Eddie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “The leg is the worst at this point. The shoulder concerns me because I don’t want to be prone to dislocations in the future. That’s going to really cut into my employment options going forward.”

“What were you thinking about on that front?” Buck questioned.

“I don’t know,” Eddie admitted. “I could handle a security job in a few months and construction later on, but neither seems like a good choice as a single parent. Managing Christopher’s condition isn’t cheap, even with government assistance. I have to make really careful decisions going forward, Evan.”

“You’ve always made careful decisions when you give yourself room to think,” Buck said. “But sometimes you don’t.”

“Give myself room, you mean,” Eddie said quietly. “I….” He exhaled slowly. “I spent a lot of time reacting as a kid. Living with a functional alcoholic doesn’t seem like the worst possible circumstances from the outside. He made the money, never hit us, only drank when he was at home or weekends, but sometimes he wasn’t even the worst of it.”

“Because your mother couldn’t be trusted to provide even a moment of normalcy?” Buck questioned.

“Something like that,” Eddie said. “I don’t think I had a healthy marriage. I’m not even sure I know what that would even look like if I’m honest. I think my parents just exist together now.”

Buck huffed a little under his breath. “Is that how you saw your marriage to Shannon? You existed with her?”

“I didn’t talk to her about my service,” Eddie blurted out. “She didn’t like to hear about any of it, so I stopped. That meant you got the full load on that front. That couldn’t have been fair to either of you. I shut her out of most of my damn life and gave all of that to you.” He exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“As I said, you don’t owe me any apologies. You’ve been my best friend since the day we met, Eddie. Maybe it’s always going to be more intimate because of our history, but you weren’t cheating on your wife emotionally with me. Frankly, I would’ve set down boundaries if I thought that was the case because I made myself a promise that I wouldn’t interfere in your marriage.” He paused. “For Christopher’s sake.”

“Just his?” Eddie questioned.

Buck shrugged. “He’s the innocent party in all of this, Eddie.”

“Yeah, he is,” Eddie said. “Okay, let’s do these stupid exercises. I don’t have a resistance band—Shannon was supposed to pick one up for me.”

“I’ll add it to my growing shopping list,” Buck said dryly. “Christopher put Pop-Tarts on it. Thoughts on that?”

“That much sugar can’t be good for him,” Eddie said. “I don’t know what Shannon allowed on that front.”

“He knows they exist and has a favorite, so someone’s giving them to him,” Buck said. “Maybe moderation is the key. It’s how I control my own carb addiction.”

Eddie nodded and lifted his hand off the footboard. “Okay, I’m ready to walk.” He picked up his cane where he’d thrown it on the bed. “Christopher doesn’t have any current daily exercises, so I’d like to explore that with him. Shannon rolled her eyes at me and said his physical therapy was enough. Maybe it is, but it would be a good habit, right?”

“Right. We’ll ask his therapist about that. But I don’t think warming up stretches would hurt him at all. He’s pretty limber already, and more flexibility would only be to the good, right?”

“I think so,” Eddie frowned. “I’ll send a message to his therapist and ask. I have health portal accounts for his GP and the physical therapist. I need to read his records. Shannon only ever skimmed the surface on that stuff. She said I didn’t need the details because I wasn’t here. Maybe that was true.”

“Or maybe she was punishing you for staying in the Army,” Buck muttered and leaned on the doorframe. “Sorry.”

“No, I was thinking that, but you were right—we shouldn’t discuss her when Chris is awake and can overhear,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck nodded and motioned him out of the bedroom. “Age before beauty.”

Eddie huffed a little under his breath. “My iCloud has a whole album full of pictures of you and me when we were hanging out in Colorado. Plus, the Capitol Peak climb. Shannon probably looked through all of that when she had access.”

“So, she certainly thinks I’m your mistress,” Buck said dryly. “Great.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s perfectly reasonable to trust your wife, Eddie,” Buck murmured as they walked down the hallway. “Hey, Superman, how about we do some exercise?”

Christopher huffed dramatically. “It’s not a therapy day, Buck!”

Eddie eased down onto the floor in front of his son and set his cane aside. “Listen, Mijo, I don’t know much about your CP, but I’m going to learn. But what I do know is that your body is only going to do what it is trained to do. Do you want to stay mobile?”

“What’s mobile mean?”

“The ability to move around physically with your body. Do you want to use crutches instead of a gait trainer? Do you want to be in a wheelchair later in your life when you’re bigger and heavier?”

Chris frowned at him. “That’s what PT is for.”

“And physical therapy is only as good as you make it. You’ve got to make the very most of every single resource you’re given,” Eddie said. “The fitter and stronger you are, the more physical therapy can do for you. It’ll also help you recover from your next surgery.”

Christopher’s mouth trembled. “I don’t want another operation, Daddy. Grandma said I didn’t need it.”

Eddie glanced toward Buck, who’d joined them on the floor, then focused on his son. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do so we can be the best version of ourselves.”

“I’m not normal,” Christopher said hotly and tried to stand. “No doctor can make me right!”

Eddie stilled him with a gentle hand. “Hey, come here.” He pulled his son close to him, took a deep breath to process how much the quick movement hurt, and pressed a kiss against the top of his head. “Mijo, when you were born, I was so happy to meet you. It was the single best day of my whole life, and nothing changed that, not even your diagnosis.”

“Grandma says I’m a burden,” Christopher said. “She says that you deserve better than me and Mommy.”

Eddie closed his eyes briefly. “Your grandmother is wrong, and I don’t want you to listen to anything she says. The surgery won’t cure your cerebral palsy, but it’s not about that. It’s about making sure you have the best quality of life, okay? It’s about your future and your goals. What do you want to do when you grow up?”

“I want…to be a pirate.”

Eddie grinned, and Buck laughed. “Well, if you’re going to be a pirate, then you definitely need to be able to walk as well as you can get your sea legs.”

“Maybe I’ll dig up dinosaurs,” Christopher said. “I need to be strong for that, right?”

“It’ll certainly help,” Eddie said. “Being physically strong will make things easier for you as you get older. Growing up isn’t easy, and I know it’s not fair, but you’re going to have to work harder than most to get what you want.”

“Okay,” Christopher said quietly.

“And I’ll be here the whole time? I’m not going away again.” Eddie put his son back on the floor. “We’re going to talk to your physical therapist about home exercises, but until then, we’re just going to start stretching every morning.”

“How many?”

Eddie grinned at him. “Let’s say we’ll do it for ten minutes to start? There’s no rush and no need to count. We’re just going to warm up your muscles with stretches.” He flicked his son’s ear. “And I have some exercises to do for my recovery. Careful stretching is good, in your case, but pain isn’t, so please let us know if it starts to hurt.”

Eddie tried to keep his own pain to himself and let Evan direct them through simple stretching movements. There were some specific exercises that he would tackle later but warming up his muscles seemed like a good idea. He noted that Christopher handled most of it easily and that Buck was far more patient with him than he would’ve expected.

“What did you do in Colorado, Buck?” Christopher questioned as he curled his fingers against the carpet out in front of him as Buck directed him to stretch forward.

“I did search and rescue work—helping people who got in trouble. I also taught people how to ski—adults and kids,” Buck explained. “When I wasn’t working or volunteering with SAR, I went camping, hiking, and climbing with my friends.”

“How long will you be here with us?” Christopher questioned.

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, Superman,” Buck said and leaned back on his hands. “Brace yourself like this and try to lift your legs one at a time.”

Eddie watched his son try to mimic Buck’s movements, but it was clear the exercise was a little difficult. Hip dysplasia was one of the bigger issues his son dealt with, and the next surgery would be helpful in that regard.

“Easy, buddy,” Buck murmured and shifted around. “Here, put your foot in my hand.” He lifted very slowly. “Does this hurt?”

“No, it’s just hard to do,” Chris admitted. “Sometimes my hip…feels weird.”

“He has hip dysplasia, and that often results in dislocations. It was worst before the first surgery. He’s had two so far,” Eddie said. “We’ll talk to the doctor, Mijo, and get the best options possible.”

The words felt heavy in his mouth, and he took a deep breath with a glance toward Buck. His friend just inclined his head, and Eddie relaxed a bit. There was a deep comfort to be had in his friendship with Evan Buckley, and he would privately admit that was missing from his marriage. It made him feel terrible because it was becoming clear he’d not seen Shannon as a partner even after he married her.

“You okay, Eds?” Buck questioned.

“Fine,” Eddie said quietly. “Just thinking.”

“That’s probably a bad idea,” Buck said, and Christopher laughed.

* * * *

“Who’s car is in the driveway?” Ramon questioned as he traded keys with Eddie.

Eddie tucked his truck keys into his hoodie and took a deep breath. “Let’s step out.”

Ramon nodded and stepped back so Eddie could pull the door shut. “What’s wrong?”

“A lot, and I don’t know how to talk to you about this…Mom’s demanding, and she’s stressful as fuck. It’s only going to get worse going forward, so I need you to make me a promise. A real one. Man to man.”

Ramon exhaled slowly. “Edmundo.”

“Pop, please. I need you to have my back,” Eddie said, and he watched his father shift on his feet.

“I’ve got your back,” Ramon said quietly. “What do you need?”

“Shannon is gone,” Eddie said, and his father’s mouth dropped open. “She’s probably already in California, and I’ve been looking at divorce lawyers in LA. I want to divorce her in California, where she’ll have to deal with courts there regarding child support. She won’t leave her mother so….” He took a deep breath. “I need to move to LA and establish residency. And I need you to promise me that you won’t ever fund Mom’s obsession with gaining custody of my child. I need you to swear it.”

Ramon lowered his gaze and cleared his throat. “She’s already gotten a consult from a lawyer, Eddie, without discussing it with me. I had to pay a grand for it.” He leaned on the porch railing. “She didn’t get told what she wanted to be told. The lawyer told her that she’d have to accuse you of abuse and prove it in court. She tried to make a list of what she considered abuses. The lawyer told Helena that her being told no doesn’t equal child abuse and that just because she wanted Christopher didn’t mean she was entitled to steal her own son’s child.”

“Did you put him on retainer?”

“It was a woman, and no to the retainer,” Ramon said. “She didn’t pull her punches with Helena, and your mother wanted another consult with a different lawyer. I told her no, and I won’t pay for her to sue you for custody of your own son. I promise you that I won’t. I can’t believe you think I would.”

“You’ve been giving her what she wants because it’s easier since I was kid,” Eddie said frankly, and his father averted his gaze. “I get it—who wants a constant fucking war at home? But I don’t want to cut ties with half my damn family just to get some peace. I can see it happening. My stress levels are through the roof. I’ve got a year or more of physical recovery in front of me before I can see myself on any sort of full-time job. I could get something in a month or so, but it would probably destroy any chance I have of a full recovery. The muscle damage alone could leave me with a permanent limp if I’m not careful. But, I’ll do what I have to no matter the consequences.”

“Plus the kidney,” Ramon said quietly.

“Yeah, well, my body will adjust to having one kidney,” Eddie said. “I can’t say I don’t feel like shit, but it could be worse. My shoulder dislocation is also a problem. I’m worried that it’ll be prone to it if I rush the healing process.” He took a deep breath. “Which leads me to my guest—it’s my best friend from Colorado.”

“That young man you climbed that mountain with?” Ramon questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I don’t remember telling you about that.”

“You told your sister Adriana, and she used to tell Helena everything,” Ramon said roughly. “At any rate, I know there was a young man and that you two were close.”

Eddie flushed. “Shannon thinks I cheated on her. It might come up in the divorce, but I swear to God, Pop, I didn’t.”

“Of course, you didn’t,” Ramon said easily. “What’s this pretty boy’s name?”

“He’s twenty-four, and I didn’t say he was pretty,” Eddie said huffily, and Ramon laughed. “His name is Evan Buckley. He’s currently trying to convince Christopher that it is perfectly reasonable to have scrambled eggs for dinner.”

“Your sister said he was pretty. I love eggs for dinner,” Ramon said. “Your mother doesn’t let me have it often, though. Put a steak on that plate with the eggs, and that’s all right. Invite me over to meet him when you’re ready. Your mother…I’ll have to tell her Shannon is gone, or I’ll pay for it.”

“Yeah, that’s fine, but tell her I don’t want her to come over here right now,” Eddie said roughly. “It’s the last thing I need. Christopher is upset about his mother leaving, and God knows that Mom won’t be able to keep her joy to herself.”

“True,” Ramon said and sighed. “Get some sleep, Mijo. You’re clearly exhausted.”

Part 3

Buck parked Eddie’s truck in the driveway and slid out just as a car whipped in behind him. He sighed as the dark-haired woman got out. Too old to be Shannon Diaz or one of Eddie’s sisters, so that meant it was probably his friend’s mother. He pulled out the groceries and shut the door.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. Can I help you?”

She glared at him. “Who are you?”

He inclined his head. “Is that the game you want to play, Mrs. Diaz?” Buck raised an eyebrow, and her mouth dropped open slightly. “Surely your husband told you I was here helping your son in this very stressful and painful time.”

“Painful,” she scoffed.

“The man got shot three times less than a month ago. He’ll spend at least a year recovering from that, Mrs. Diaz, and is in a great deal of physical pain. Unless you are disbelieving regarding your son’s emotional pain—having suffered an immensely traumatic event in a war zone during a battle that nearly killed him.” He paused. “Or maybe you’re less than concerned about his wife leaving him—that part is probably thrilling for you since you hated her.” He shifted the bags into one hand and checked his watch. “As horrible and insensitive as that is.”

She glared at him. “If you think I’m going to allow you to stay in my son’s house and live off of him, then you’re just stupid.”

Buck made a face at her. “I don’t have to depend on anyone to support me or pay my bills. Since you can’t say the same, perhaps you can refrain from speaking of things you know nothing about. Eddie told me that you haven’t worked for three decades. That’s a valid choice if it works for your family, but don’t make assumptions about my financial status and ambitions based on your own circumstances.”

He started toward the house, and she followed—rushing a little to keep up with him. Normally, he would’ve shortened his stride as he didn’t like to make people shorter than him scurry to keep up. But Eddie’s mother was an asshole, and Buck had a full plate already. He didn’t begrudge Eddie or Christopher a single minute of his time, but he wasn’t going to put up with Helena Diaz or her attitude problem. If he wanted to deal with that kind of bullshit, he’d still be talking to his own mother.

The front door opened, and Eddie came out, cane thumping hard against the porch. He jerked the door shut behind him and stared pointedly at his mother.

“Your mom thinks I’m a gold digger,” Buck said cheerfully.

“Jesus, Mom, Buck’s here to help me! He left his whole damn life behind in Colorado just to help me, and you’re out here treating him like shit?” Eddie rubbed his head with a shaking hand and leaned heavily on the cane. “You need to go. I can’t…deal with you right now.”

“You also can’t take care of Christopher right now. I’m here to bring him home.”

“My son is home,” Eddie hissed. “And he isn’t going to live with you for any reason. You must think I’m stupid. I’m not going to give you grounds to steal my child from me.” He took in a ragged breath. “Leave right now.”

“Your father told me your plan, and it’s not going to happen. You aren’t taking my baby to California.”

“Your youngest child is twenty-seven years old,” Eddie said evenly and motioned to himself. “And I go where I want. Christopher is my baby, and he goes where I say.”

She glared at him.

“Jesus, your whole damn family needs therapy,” Buck muttered and moved past him. “I got a bunch of meal kits. We’re going to totally figure out how to cook.”

Helena huffed. “Eddie, you need to let me in so I can take care of Christopher.”

“Dios, absolutely not,” Eddie said. “I told you that I can’t handle your special brand of motherhood right now, and you certainly are not going to mother my son. Go home.” He passed Buck the keys.

Buck shook his head at them. “Geez, Eddie, I’m gonna nominate your ex for sainthood despite her current behavior.”

Eddie sighed and said nothing as Buck slid into the house with the groceries and pulled the door shut behind him. He leaned heavily on his cane and stared at his mother as she glared at him.

“I don’t care what your father says—you don’t have any right to keep Christopher. You’ve never been a father at all, Eddie, and your wife half-assed his care from the start. Forcing him to have those surgeries and hiding his gait trainer. She just didn’t want to take care of him—carry him like she should.”

“Christopher weighs nearly forty pounds, and carrying him around all the time is a non-starter,” Eddie said evenly. “And every single medical decision Shannon and I made regarding his care was to his benefit. I want my son to have as much freedom and independence as possible. And I told you last year that you have no say in this and never will.”

His mother’s cheeks flushed dark red. “You’re going to regret this.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “If you make any attempt to take my son, I will never speak to you again as long as I live. And I will make a mess that will follow you socially for the rest of your life. All of your little friends at the country club will be so focused on talking about the woman that tried to steal her own son’s child that they’ll stop talking about your Mexican husband, who actually has to work for a living. I’m sure they’ll eat that shit up—me being a decorated war veteran and all. It’ll be so patriotic and loving of you—to sue your own son for no other reason than your selfish desire to raise your own grandson yourself.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “You’ve already ruined your life, Eddie. Look at you—you can barely stand, and you murdered people. How do you even look at yourself in the mirror? You shouldn’t be allowed to be around Christopher. If Shannon were any kind of real mother, she’d have never left him with you.”

Eddie stared at her a moment and exhaled slowly. “Manipulation is a weapon deployed by the weak to control the foolish. And I’m no one’s fool, so please stop pretending you care at all about the people I killed overseas. The whole situation was obscene and unfortunate, but we both know you don’t give a fuck about any of it.” She reared back in shock. “Don’t disparage my service; it’ll make you look like an asshole and a bad mother. You need to leave.”

“I want to see Christopher.”

“I don’t care,” Eddie said evenly, and she blinked in surprise. “Dad told me about the lawyer and your attempt to figure out how to accuse me of abusing my own child, Mom. You’re lucky I’m even talking to you at this point. I’m so furious with you that I can hardly stand to look at you.”

“I want what’s best for him.”

“No, you don’t,” Eddie said evenly, and the door opened behind them.

“Eds, you should come in the house,” Buck said firmly. “You’ve exceeded how long you should stand on that leg already.”

“You’re going to get this stranger out of this house,” Helena hissed. “It’s unacceptable!”

Eddie scoffed. “Christ, are you ever going to recognize that your children can know people that you don’t? Buck’s not going anywhere.” He held out his cane across the door when she started to enter ahead of him. “Absolutely not, I mean it. Get in your car and leave. You aren’t welcome in the house I paid for.”

“Your father gave you the down payment,” Helena said. “I can come in there if I want. We practically own part of it.”

“I paid Pop back every single penny, and you don’t own a damned square inch of this house,” Eddie said evenly and grasped the doorframe as he put the cane down on the ground again.

“Jesus,” Buck muttered and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Mrs. Diaz, you’re literally torturing your son right now, and it’s awful that you don’t recognize it or care. He’s in agony standing here, and you’re…doing whatever the hell this is.” He pulled Eddie into the house and shut the door in her face. “I think she’s worse than my mom, and mine told me she wished she’d never given birth to me.” He locked the deadbolt. “I called around and got some estimates on moving trucks. The best option is to get one of those pod things and have it shipped. I can drive your truck, and you’ll fly to Los Angeles with Christopher.”

“What? No, come on. You shouldn’t do that drive by yourself,” Eddie muttered as he was put on the sofa.

“Neither you nor Christopher should spend upwards of twelve hours in a truck, Eddie. Either you two fly, or we take like three days to make the trip to LA from El Paso,” Buck said.

“I can’t see me navigating an airport like this, Buck,” Eddie admitted and flushed. “Plus, Christopher would have to be carried in a busy airport like LAX. People don’t pay attention, and he’s so fucking small.”

“I wouldn’t let a kid his size, with no mobility issues, walk on their own in LAX,” Buck admitted. “You’re right—that’s not a good solution either. So, we make a multi-day trip out of it. But the pod thing is still the best choice regarding your stuff. What about the house? Did you want to sell it or rent it out? You could get a company to manage it for you—it’ll be steady income, but being a landlord is no picnic. I researched it with the property I inherited and just decided that I’d probably sell it. Now, it’s useful. I checked—it’s a twenty-minute drive from the area where your grandmother lives.”

“What’s it like?” Eddie questioned. “How many bedrooms and all that rot.”

Buck shrugged. “My uncle never married and lived a quiet life despite his wealth. So it’s an average house for that part of LA, per the lawyer who handled the estate. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, very little front yard and a decent-sized backyard, den, large kitchen, a home office that could be changed to whatever was needed, and a living room. It’s 1800 square feet, and the real estate agent I was working with told me I’d probably get at least 600,000 for it.”

Eddie exhaled slowly. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, but it’s only going to be worth more down the line, and it’s probably overpriced already because of the location,” Buck said with a shrug. “He gave me everything, by the way. His money, the house, life insurance, and an SUV I’ve never seen. I’d planned to sell everything and bank the money for retirement.”

“Why?” Eddie asked curiously.

“He said the adventure in my heart was appealing, and he wished he’d done half the things I’ve done,” Buck said. “And asked me to climb a mountain to distribute his ashes—somewhere amazing that he’d never gotten to go.” Buck paused. “He was in a wheelchair—he was in a car accident in high school and was paralyzed from the waist down.”

“Which mountain did you climb for him?” Eddie asked curiously because Buck hadn’t mentioned the uncle death’s at all when they’d chatted or talked.

“Kilimanjaro, I’ve only been back in the States a few weeks myself,” Buck said and smiled when Eddie huffed. “Maybe one day we can do it together.”

“Things are different now, with a kid in the mix,” Eddie said quietly and glanced down the hall where Christopher was taking a nap. “He sort of rearranged all of my priorities. So, I don’t see any mountain climbing in my future, Buck. But speaking of my son, I’ve got ninety days of health coverage through TRICARE then I have another six months of coverage through TAMP. That’s nine months, then I can try for another program, but it will cost money I might not have.”

“Nine months,” Buck murmured. “You need to be in California for six months before you can file for divorce. Then, it’s probably another six months for it to be final. I know you wanted to file there because you want to push her buttons on the child support issue. But what if you file here and agree to the custody arrangement in exchange for no child support?”

“Divorced or not, I’m still going to be in a hard place in nine months,” Eddie said roughly.

“You’re pissed at her,” Buck said. “And I get it. Did she give the money back?”

“Yeah, I got a wire transfer, moved it, and closed that account due to a zero balance. I’ve got one more paycheck coming from the Army and my severance pay.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I still want to move to California. I need space from my mother, and I want to be close to my abuela. She’s getting older, and I want Christopher to know her, not just hear stories about her.”

“Then the move is definitely on,” Buck said. “There’s nothing fun to do here, Eddie. I require a lot of stimulation.”

Eddie laughed. “I remember.”

Buck flushed and shrugged. “I can get a job in LA—something with good benefits. My friend in Colorado has been saying for months that I should go there and try the fire academy. He said he’d give me a reference for the LAFD. The benefits are very good.”

“That’s great for you, Buck, but…how does that help me with the insurance thing? I couldn’t follow you onto that job for a year or more. If I can even qualify for it with this shoulder.”

“Well,” Buck started and took a deep breath. “The timing will be tight if Shannon contests the divorce, but by the time I get through the academy and find a job…we could get married, and I can put you and Christopher both on my insurance plan. I mean, if I get into the LAFD, that is. Maybe even a domestic partnership would be enough if you didn’t want to get married.”

Eddie turned on the couch to stare at Buck in shock. “Evan.”

“I’m trying to help here,” Buck said.

Eddie exhaled slowly and nodded. “It’s a big fucking ask of you.”

“You aren’t asking; I’m offering,” Buck said. “If you rush your recovery—physically or mentally—you could end up in a world of hurt. I think a job, even in security, would be a big risk. And any sort of construction work is a year or more away if you want to take care of your body. So, let me help you and Christopher in any way I can.”

“You’re twenty-four.”

“Stop acting like you’re ancient compared to me,” Buck said wryly. “You’re just three years older. How much will the social security insurance thing cover? Will it even give him physical therapy once a week?”

“I doubt it,” Eddie admitted. “We already pay out of pocket for half of his physical therapy appointments. I need to read all of that stuff. There’s a box full of it in the bedroom closet.”

“Okay, so….” Buck took a deep breath. “We definitely need to figure all of that stuff out and figure out what programs and stuff there are to be had in California. We’ll find a lawyer here in Texas to handle the divorce so you can file as quickly as possible. I can look up domestic partnerships in California—some jobs will offer benefits to partners and dependents.”

“But it would be a sure thing if we were married,” Eddie said. “I’m a piss-poor husband, Buck.”

“Are you really?” Buck questioned. “Where did you fail, Eddie?”

“I….” Eddie floundered. “I wasn’t here.”

“You were already in the Army when you married Shannon,” Buck said. “And your service paid the bills around here, bought this house, and provided your son with medical care. You did the best you could—always came home for leave. You called a lot, right?”

“Every chance I got,” Eddie said. “Shannon first, then if I had time—you.” He took a deep breath. “If you didn’t answer, I’d call my pop.”

“You didn’t cheat, gave her all the time you could, and provided for your family. I can’t see how you were a piss-poor husband.”

“My wife left me in the middle of the night with a note,” Eddie said roughly. “A fury-filled note where she basically eviscerated me for not supporting her and leaving her alone….”

“What?” Buck questioned.

Eddie leaned forward and whispered against the shell of Buck’s ear, “With a child she never wanted.”

“Jesus,” Buck muttered. “You didn’t destroy that letter, right? Because you’re going to need it for the divorce.”

“She also accused me of cheating on her with you in a text which will probably come up in court.”

“Well, we can prove that false. We haven’t been in the same place since you left Colorado until now,” Buck said. “And none of our chats were untoward. I already went through them to check.”

“Untoward?” Eddie repeated and laughed when Buck huffed.

“I know things,” Buck muttered. “I’ve got a very good vocabulary.”

“You do,” Eddie said in agreement. “And you’re the best person I’ve ever known. I trust you with everything, and that’s pretty fucking valuable to me. I’d hate to ruin what we have between us with a legal arrangement. So, I need you to promise me that you won’t…suffer in this in any single way, Buck.”

“I don’t suffer in silence, and you know I cry if someone hurts my feelings,” Buck said and rolled his eyes when Eddie laughed a little. “Let’s go figure out one of those meal kits. I hope the instructions are explicit.”

Eddie grabbed his hand when Buck started to stand. “I can’t regret leaving Colorado, Evan. But I always wished things could’ve been different for us.”

“You’re not in the right place to have this kind of conversation,” Buck said gently. “And you know it.”

“You just suggested I divorce my wife and marry you,” Eddie said. “And you don’t want to discuss our past right now?”

Buck huffed. “It’s not remotely the same thing. I’m talking logistics and crisis management. You want to talk about us banging on the side of a mountain in a tent.”

Eddie grinned and wet his lips. “Best climb of my life.”

Buck flushed and pulled his hand away. “Mine, too. Don’t flirt with me while you’re married.”

“I’m about to get legally separated,” Eddie muttered under his breath, and Buck laughed as he walked around the couch. “Can I flirt with you, then?”

“No,” Buck said. “I don’t flirt or fuck with married men.” He flicked Eddie’s ear. “You’re not gonna be an exception, Eds. Even if your wife did abandon you in the middle of the night and leave the state.”

“You’ve got a weird line, Buck, since you just asked me to marry you,” Eddie said roughly, and Buck laughed.

He stayed where he was for a moment, then slid forward and used the cane to leverage himself off the couch. Eddie meandered into the kitchen to watch the whole meal kit situation.

“You’re reacting,” Buck said. “And probably on the cusp of some kind of emotional crisis because of the injuries and your wife’s actions. I’m not the asshole that’s going to take advantage of you or that situation, Eddie. Are there feelings here? Yeah, of course, but that can wait until you’re really ready to have that conversation. Okay?”

“Okay,” Eddie said quietly. “Thanks for looking out, like you always do.” He groaned and rubbed his face. “What did you get anyways?”

“One of each they had in the case,” Buck said. “This is what they claim to be an easy chicken alfredo. I figured it would be the best choice for Christopher. There are other things, and I got some soups—tried to find low-sodium ones since canned food is the worst on that front. I went through the freezer section and picked out a few options there as well on the meal kit front. Nothing groundbreaking, but easy for us to start with. Having met her, I’m not surprised your mother didn’t teach you to cook.”

“Yeah, she’s a control freak,” Eddie agreed. “What about yours?”

“Utterly uninterested in my existence,” Buck said easily as he unpacked the rest of the ingredients. He frowned at the little plastic bag of cheese. “We’ll keep the recipes and try to avoid kits with a lot of this crap in them. Plastic is the worst. We need a pot to boil this pasta in and a skillet for the chicken.”

“The pots and pans are in the cabinets in the island,” Eddie said and took a seat on one of the bar stools. “Want me to read the instructions?”

“Nah, I’ve got it. You can sit there and prep the salad ingredients.” He motioned toward the bowl, already full of stuff and a cutting board.

Eddie nodded and pulled it all toward him. “Garlic bread?”

“I brought a loaf thing from the deli. It’s probably going to be horrible. I knew I should’ve figured out this whole cooking thing years ago instead of living on sandwiches and salad.”

“And high protein trail mix,” Eddie muttered. “And meal bars.”

“Don’t judge me, Edmundo,” Buck said sternly and pointed at him with a spatula. “You’ve been eating Army food since you were eighteen unless someone cooked for you. Trail mix is better than an MRE.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Eddie said and shifted just slightly as he watched Christopher amble into the kitchen. “Hey, Mijo, have a good nap?”

Christopher shrugged and hooked his crutches on the back of the stool. Eddie started to reach for him, but Buck cleared his throat as he walked around the kitchen island and plucked the boy from the floor. Christopher hugged him with a laugh and wiggled a little when Buck put him on the stool.

“What’s for dinner?” Christopher asked.

“Pasta and chicken,” Buck said. “And salad, if you want. Want something to drink, Superman?”

“Milk, please,” Christopher said and squinted a little at the work Buck was doing on the other side of the island.

“Do you need new glasses, Mijo?” Eddie questioned.

The boy shrugged. “I guess.”

“When did you last see the eye doctor?”

Christopher shrugged.

“We’ll check his records,” Buck said. “Do you have a hard time watching TV, bud?”

Christopher shook his head. “No, but my books are blurry. Mama said she’d take me to the glasses place.” He paused. “Then Daddy got hurt.”

“Can you read, Christopher?” Buck questioned.

“Just some words, not a lot,” Christopher said. “I know my ABCs, and I can write my name. Mommy read to me, though.” He took the cup with the lid that Buck sat down in front of him and sucked on the straw. “Can I call Mommy?”

Eddie closed his eyes briefly and considered how to respond. Shannon had made it clear that she didn’t want him to call her anymore, and ignoring that could lead to legal consequences. He didn’t want to end up with a restraining order.

“Your mom asked me not to call her,” Eddie admitted, and Christopher frowned at him. “Respecting another person’s boundaries is very important to me, Christopher. So, I don’t know how to let you call her without disrespecting her wishes.”

Christopher nodded. “Okay.”

“I know it’s upsetting,” Eddie said, and his son shrugged. “It’s okay to be angry with us for what’s happened.”

“I’m not mad,” Christopher said huffily and rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

“Well, it’s okay to be sad, too. Your mom loves you, Christopher.”

“She broke our family,” Christopher said and tried to slide off the stool.

Eddie caught his arm gently and held him in place even as Buck moved around the island and settled Christopher back on the stool completely.

“Hey,” Buck said gently. “Take care with yourself, Superman.” He ran a big hand through Christopher’s curls. “Everyone gets upset. You don’t have to try to hide it.”

“Abuelo says not to cry,” Christopher said, and his breath hitched. “Because I’m a big boy.”

“Well, as the biggest boy in this house, let me assure you are a very tiny boy and can cry all you want,” Buck said dryly, and Christopher laughed, but it turned into a sob.

Christopher turned toward Eddie, but before he could figure out how to move the kid, Buck easily shifted him across the space and onto Eddie’s good leg. Christopher’s hands fisted in his T-shirt, and he started crying softly.

“Let’s talk about the epidemic of toxic masculinity,” Buck said.

Eddie huffed because they’d had that conversation, at length, years ago when Eddie said some stupid shit about being on bottom. Granted, he’d still never been on the receiving end of anal sex. He struggled with the shit his father had taught him about manhood and the emotional baggage that came with it. He’d overcome a lot of it, but he had to admit some of that still lingered for him.

“You’re not bigger than me,” Eddie denied.

“I’m two inches taller and at least forty pounds heavier than you,” Buck assured, and Christopher started laughing.

Eddie made a face because it was true, and he had no argument against it.

“And I’m ten of that little bit of a boy you’ve got sitting on your lap,” Buck continued in amusement.

Christopher huffed and slouched against Eddie’s chest. “I miss her, Daddy.”

“I know you do,” Eddie murmured against his temple and inhaled the scent of baby shampoo. “But we have to…be enough for each other, okay?”

“Buck, too?” Christopher questioned.

“Yeah, we’ll probably keep him,” Eddie agreed. “Someone needs to get the stuff off the top shelf.” He paused. “And learn to cook because I sort of hate it.”

“Well, you’re gonna learn,” Buck said. “Team effort required.” He motioned between them.

“Am I on the team?” Christopher questioned.

“Absolutely,” Buck said with a quick smile, and something in Eddie relaxed.

Things weren’t anywhere near perfect, and the lingering stress of his impending divorce wasn’t going to ease anytime soon. Still, there’d always been a hopeful and sweet air around Evan, and he was glad to see that it was still there. He’d rarely met anyone so eager for life and adventure.

 

Part 4

Buck woke with a start, covers pooling in his lap as he sat up, and he listened for a bit before he heard another awful strangled sound. He left the bed. The main bedroom of the house was just next door to the den, so he paused in the doorway and watched for a few moments as Eddie twisted on the bed. The nightmares weren’t frequent, as far as he could tell. He’d only been in El Paso two weeks, and everything had been more stressful than it had to be because of Eddie’s mother.

Helena Diaz was convinced she was the only person on the planet qualified to take care of Christopher. It didn’t matter who disagreed with her or what was said. She was verbally abusive, rude, and her utter lack of empathy for her own son bordered on pathological. It was like none of her children mattered at all once they became adults. Or maybe, once she no longer had even the illusion of control. The only saving grace in the situation was that they’d been able to shield Christopher from his grandmother’s outrageous behavior.

They’d started packing the house and hired a lawyer who kind of excelled at being a bastard. A state he’d claimed to have achieved while serving in the military. Eddie shouted in his sleep, and Buck moved into the room. He stopped at the end of the bed. Normally, just speaking to his friend was enough to wake him up.

“Eddie.”

Eddie made another harsh sound that turned into something that sounded like agony as he jerked roughly in the bed. Buck took a deep breath and walked around the bed. He knew he shouldn’t touch Eddie, but the man was going to hurt himself. Buck sat down on the edge of the bed and put a firm hand on Eddie’s uninjured shoulder.

“Eddie.” He caught Eddie’s arm when the man flailed, and his friend turned into him with a wounded sound that broke Buck’s heart. “Easy, I’ve got you.”

Eddie lurched a little and glomped onto him like an octopus. Buck wrapped his arms around his friend as Eddie buried his face against his neck with a sob. He’d never heard another human being sound so horrified and heartsick at the same time. Buck cupped his head and took in a deep, ragged breath. He had no experience with the kind of trauma Eddie had faced while he’d served—even the injuries were far beyond his scope.

He’d never even fired a gun, which made his interest in joining the Navy once kind of ridiculous. Eddie had dissuaded him from that kind of thinking within just a few days of meeting. Buck had never been more grateful for it. His friend was shaking violently, and Buck couldn’t do anything but hold on as tight as he could.

“I’ve got you,” Buck murmured. “You’re safe and sound.”

Eddie shuddered and fisted a hand against Buck’s back. “Evan.”

“Take a deep breath,” Buck murmured. “You won’t smell anything but home, okay? It’s just you, Christopher, and me in this house in El Paso, Texas.” He paused. “Also, known as hell on Earth.”

Eddie laughed weakly. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath and shuddered. “Christ, I’m a mess.”

“Bad dream?” Buck questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie said hoarsely and tried to move away from him.

Buck held tight and just closed his eyes as his friend breathed heavily against his neck. “Just stay like this for a moment. You’re shaking like a leaf.” He used both hands to rub Eddie’s back as if to ward off a chill. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I’ve spent my entire adult life in the Army, and I don’t know how to exist outside of it,” Eddie confessed hoarsely. “It gave me all the structure and certainty my parents didn’t, Evan. I can’t…see how to go forward.”

“I’m here,” Buck said. “Maybe that’s not enough, but I’m going to try like hell.”

“When you try like hell, you climb fucking mountains,” Eddie said roughly. “Why didn’t you tell me you went to Africa and climbed Kilimanjaro? I didn’t even know you’d left the country.”

He wondered how long Eddie had been sitting on that question and why he hadn’t already asked. They’d only discussed it once weeks before. It was not something he really wanted to talk about, as the loss of his uncle had been weirdly hurtful. He barely knew the man, and he’d wallowed in guilt for a while over it. Part of him thought he should’ve gone to LA and stayed there to get to know the man. But, he also could acknowledge that his uncle had really enjoyed knowing that Buck was out in the world having the experiences he couldn’t.

“Yeah, because telling my best friend, who was serving in a war zone, that I’m taking a vacation to Tanzania to climb a mountain is a great idea,” Buck said because deflection seemed like the best choice in the moment.

“You were memorializing your uncle,” Eddie said quietly. “You took on my burdens—time after time, and I’ve given you nothing in return. I’ve exposed my every ache to you, laid bare secrets that I’ve told no one else. What makes you hurt?”

Buck took a deep breath and eased away from Eddie. “My parents suck a lot, my sister ignores that I exist, I’ve always felt like a fucking guest in my own family, and you’re the only friend I’ve ever had that I felt like I could say anything to and survive it.” He cleared his throat. “And I’m really glad you trusted me enough to tell me that you needed help.”

“I trust you with everything,” Eddie said. “Which is why I’m totally going to divorce my wife and marry you for your theoretical insurance.”

Buck laughed. “You jackass.” He scooted back a little on the mattress and took a deep breath. “But good. I guess. I mean….” He exhaled noisily because Eddie hadn’t explicitly agreed to that part of the plan since they’d discussed it the first time. “Your mom isn’t invited to whatever ceremony thing we do because she’s an asshole, and she’s gotten on my last nerve.”

“She’s been a lot,” Eddie agreed. “And I didn’t invite her to my first wedding, so why let her ruin my second?” He rubbed his face. “Sorry that I woke you up. I didn’t get violent, right? I’m afraid of that.”

“You flailed around a bit, but it wasn’t violent or anything,” Buck assured. “I was worried that you were going to toss yourself off the bed or aggravate one of your injuries.” He stood. “You need a pain pill.”

“Can I be engaged and married at the same time?” Eddie questioned.

“Only if you want to be on Dr. Phil,” Buck muttered and walked out of the bedroom as Eddie laughed a little. “Wash your face, Eds. Who knew you’d be an ugly crier?”

“Says the man that turns tomato red if his eyes water,” Eddie retorted, and Buck laughed.

Eddie took a deep breath and, after a few moments, grabbed his cane and left the bed. He went into his bathroom and washed his face as instructed. When he returned to the bed, Buck had straightened the covers up and was holding the bottle of pain pills.

“I don’t have many left.”

“You have one refill,” Buck said.

“I’d prefer not to refill it,” Eddie said. “I know I need to manage my pain to make sure I don’t slow my recovery, but I hate taking that shit, Buck.”

“I get it,” Buck said. “You have six left. If you can make it through the day without one and only take one for sleep, then we won’t refill. Otherwise, we’ll take the refill and be grateful.”

Eddie nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, okay.”

“Relax, Eddie, you don’t have any kind of history with addiction and clearly find it psychologically off-putting. But I’ve got your back and will help you get through anything that crops up. What we’re not going to do is allow you to suffer.”

“I don’t actually want to suffer,” Eddie muttered. “But my dad’s a recovering alcoholic, and my mom treats wine like water. I don’t want to be stoned or drunk in front of my kid, ever. It’s one of the worst parts of my childhood.”

“That’s a deal then,” Buck said simply. “I’m not much of a drinker either, and I rarely even take prescription drugs, much less something worse.” He offered a single pill and motioned toward the bottle of water he’d put on the nightstand. “Back to bed with you.”

Eddie sat down, set his cane against the nightstand, and took the pill with a quick sip of water. “Thanks.”

“It might not seem like it, but I think we’re doing very well.”

“Yesterday, we made two pounds of glue,” Eddie muttered.

Buck laughed. “Who knew potatoes would do that if you over blend them? Frozen French fries saved the day. Try not to focus too much on the failures. We’re learning. He’s fed, and hopefully, Fred Flintstone is keeping him nutritionally on track.”

“I was so surprised they still made those things,” Eddie admitted with a laugh.

Christopher had caught Buck taking vitamins and insisted he should have his own, and so should Eddie, which had resulted in a trip to Target. It was weird being in a civilian store as Eddie hadn’t done that much, even on leave, in years. He’d spent most of his service overseas, and it brought home a truth for him that he found deeply uncomfortable.

“You don’t need the Army to give you goals and structure,” Buck said quietly and took a deep breath. “You just gotta figure out what you want and what moves you, Eddie. You’ve got time to do that since you definitely aren’t going back to any sort of full-time job until you’re fully recovered. I’ve been researching therapists in LA who have experience in dealing with combat trauma and PTSD.”

Eddie huffed. He knew he needed it, but it felt awful to even think about spilling his guts to a stranger.

“Hey.” Buck sat down beside him. “I know you hate the idea of it, but would you want Christopher to swallow his pain and trauma to his own detriment?”

“No,” Eddie whispered.

“Then you need to model the kind of behavior you want him to emulate. Lead by example—the Army taught you that, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said with a nod. “I get what you’re saying, and I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already am.”

“You are not a burden,” Buck said firmly and stood. “Don’t confuse me with your mother, Eddie.”

Eddie sighed when his friend left the room entirely and turned off the hall light. A sign he was certainly finished with the conversation and was probably a little irritated. Evan didn’t get bent out of shape often or even for very long. He settled back under his covers and waited for the pain pill to kick in. It wasn’t going to do much more than take off the edge, and he was going to make that be enough.

The hall light flicked back on, and Eddie started to get up, but Buck walked past his bedroom door then came back by with Christopher resting on his chest. Buck had taken the baby monitor that Shannon still insisted on using with Christopher so Eddie could get sleep. Part of him thought he shouldn’t allow it, but his son got up several times a night to use the bathroom, and it had gotten hard after the third night for Eddie to keep up.

They came back by, and Eddie sat up because Buck had made a quick little gesture, which looked like he had something to say. Buck appeared in the doorway shortly.

“Something wrong?” Eddie questioned.

“Just a little anxiety,” Buck said roughly. “He might have heard you having the nightmare. I don’t know. Regardless, he’s getting up multiple times because he’s afraid he’ll wet the bed. We might need to ask Shannon about how potty training went.”

Eddie frowned and took a deep breath. “My mom and Shannon fought over it. Mom said that he’d be fine in pull-ups for a while, but Shannon started potty training just after he turned two when he could use his gait trainer well enough to get around on his own. She said it was part of his road to independence.”

“I don’t disagree with that,” Buck admitted. “But we don’t know a lot about how that went with him physically and emotionally, right?”

“Right,” Eddie said and nodded. “I’ll send an email through the lawyer.”

“Get some sleep,” Buck ordered and turned off the hall light again.

* * * *

“Shannon says my mother fought her on the potty training and harped incessantly about Christopher wetting the bed if he wasn’t wearing a pull-up to bed at night. My lawyer reminded me that all of our correspondence using his office is considered evidence as well,” Eddie said wearily and set aside the iPad. “Mom would make him wear a pull-up at her house when he spent the night. After Shannon found out, she only asked my parents to keep him overnight when she had no other choice, which wasn’t often. It explains the increase in how much was coming out of the checking account for child care after he turned three.”

Buck exhaled slowly. “Your mom’s control issues are mentally damaging not just to you but also Christopher.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and cleared his throat. “I need you to take Christopher somewhere this afternoon—somewhere fun and keep him distracted. I’m going to invite my parents and sisters over here for a conversation, and I don’t want him to be anywhere near it. I’ll text you when it’s over.”

Buck exhaled slowly but nodded. “Somewhere fun with a four-year-old.”

Eddie grinned. “You can handle it. You’re the best time I ever had.”

Buck flushed. “Shut up.”

“And I don’t even mean the utterly fantastic sex,” Eddie continued. “But, yeah, I don’t know what would be fun for a four-year-old, either. We should just ask him.”

“Definitely,” Buck said and checked his watch. “I’ll roust him from bed and get his teeth brushed. It’s waffle time.”

Since they’d mastered eggs and bacon, they’d moved on to pancakes which had involved a great deal of failure. So, they’d tried waffles and had made a giant mess of the waffle maker three days in a row before they’d gotten it right.

Eddie picked up his phone and sent a text to his father asking for a family meeting at his house in the afternoon. Since it was Saturday, his father would be the only one who had to deal with a work schedule. Both of his sisters worked office jobs. His father responded quickly with a time and said he’d take care of making sure that everyone showed up. Eddie set the phone aside and took a deep breath as Christopher came into the kitchen. Buck came in behind him, and shortly they were seated at the table.

“Buck’s going to take you somewhere this afternoon, Mijo,” Eddie said. “Where would you like to go? What would be fun?”

“The zoo.”

Buck shrugged his agreement, and Eddie wondered if his friend had any idea what he was in for. He’d have to take him aside and explain the logistics of taking Christopher to such a place, but he nodded.

“Okay, the zoo it is,” Eddie said and put the pieces of waffle he’d cut up onto his son’s plate. “I don’t want to upset you, but would you rather have your gait trainer for that kind of outing? I can make Buck rescue it from the attic.”

Christopher made a face. “I can use my crutches, though.”

“Yes, but this is about what works best for the situation,” Eddie said. “In the Army, we had different tools for different situations. There is no shame in making the world work for you no matter what you’ve been told.”

“Tools like what?” Christopher questioned.

“Well, when Buck and I climbed together, we picked the right equipment for the climb. We needed special ropes designed for climbing and axes to make the climb safe,” Eddie explained. “So, do you think you’d do better at the zoo with your gait trainer?”

“Maybe, but….” Christopher picked up his fork and pushed his sausage around on his plate. “But I want to try my crutches. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely,” Buck said, and Eddie just nodded.

* * * *

Buck was really relieved that he was in the best shape possible because the crutches had lasted about thirty minutes. He had to make a choice between letting the kid exhaust himself and carrying him. Since carrying him wasn’t a hardship for Buck, they’d meandered around the zoo and spent a full hour watching the penguins and were now having lunch.

He was feeding the kid junk and felt bad about that, but there was nothing on offer in the zoo café but junk and salad. He didn’t think he could get Christopher to eat a salad for a meal, so they’d gone with fries and chicken fingers.

“Bucky,” Christopher was holding his cup with both hands. He’d managed to talk him into lemonade instead of soda, so he was counting that for a win.

“What’s up, Superman?” Buck questioned and hoped he wasn’t about to get hit with some life-altering question he was utterly unprepared to answer.

“Are you going to stay with me and Daddy?”

“Yes,” Buck said.

“Even in California?”

“Well, we’re going to be living in my house in California,” Buck said in amusement. “So, you two will be staying with me.”

Christopher nodded. “Joey at preschool has two dads.”

Buck’s mouth went dry. He exhaled slowly and looked around for help, which made him feel ridiculous. He was totally an adult, but he needed a more adult sort of adult. The woman sitting at the table next to them with two kids gave him a thumbs up. He needed the moral support, so he took it with a quick grin, and she laughed at him.

“I know you’re upset about your mom leaving, Chris,” Buck said. “And I’m sorry that she didn’t stay.”

Christopher shrugged and looked away. “It’s good that you’re here to help Daddy.” He paused. “And me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Buck said. “We’re a team, remember? We need to keep your dad in line.”

Christopher laughed and picked up a chicken finger. “After we eat, can we go see the lions?”

“Absolutely.”

Buck glanced toward the woman, and she gave him a nod like he’d done a good job. He knew he shouldn’t be invested in a stranger’s approval, but it was relieving that she wasn’t looking at him like he was an idiot. Navigating his relationship with both Diazes wasn’t always difficult, but when a moment hit wrong—it went into a hard spot almost immediately. Plus, Christopher had no filter and no clear desire to develop one.

* * * *

Eddie rolled the plastic bottle of water in his hands. It was the last one in the house as Buck had bought a few flasks and put his foot down about the plastic. He glanced briefly at his sister, Sophia, who looked nervous as fuck. Eddie understood, of course, because both of his sisters had often borne the brunt of their mother’s toxic brand of parenting for good and bad. He’d been the golden child since his birth, and his sisters traded off on who was the scapegoat.

“My son gets up four times a night to pee,” Eddie said, and he got confused frowns for his trouble. “Because he’s petrified of wetting the bed despite the fact that he’s never done it. In fact, Shannon didn’t transition him out of pull-ups until he wasn’t peeing in his sleep for a month. He was so proud of himself.” He focused on his mother. “But you think you know better than his actual mother and fought her on so much that it demoralized him to the point that my four-year-old has actual goddamned anxiety.”

His mother flushed and crossed her arms. “Shannon is a stupid young woman who doesn’t know how to be a good mother.”

“You are a terrible mother,” Eddie said flatly, and Helena reared back in shock. “Christ, Mom, you spent most of my childhood avoiding home and your drunk husband.” His father flinched. “I’m sorry, Pop, because you’re doing so well these days, but I’m tired of her acting like she’s fucking perfect. Mom, you let Pop drive us around while he was drunk. Neither of you paid a damned bit of attention to any of us unless it would reflect poorly on you. Like when Adriana got pregnant.”

His older sister’s breath hitched.

“And you acted like she was the worst person alive for not keeping the pregnancy to your friends while you verbally abused her in private, berated her into getting an abortion, threatened to disown her, and called her a whore every single chance you could,” Eddie continued. “You even accused her of trying to ruin her boyfriend’s life the day you all but forced her to get a termination. I don’t know why I was surprised when you came unglued on Shannon when we got pregnant. You screamed at her and told her that she’d ruined your son’s life. It was like I hadn’t even been an active participant in the creation of my own child.”

Sophia laughed a little. Eddie rolled his eyes at his sister but then focused on his father, who had his head bowed. “Pop.”

“I didn’t do a lot right with you kids when you were growing up,” Ramon said quietly.

“Stop it, Ramon,” Helena snapped. “They had everything they could possibly want! They all three went to private school, and we lived in a good neighborhood in a nice house. We put two of them through college and would’ve done it for Eddie if he hadn’t thrown his life away in the Army!”

Eddie leaned back in his seat and pulled the box holding his silver star from his hoodie. He tossed it on the table. “Do not ever brag about me on social media again, Mom. It’s disgusting. You’ve got a damn flag on your Facebook profile right now. I had to unfollow you because you can’t keep your mouth shut about my heroics when you have an audience.”

His father reached out and picked up the box. Then he opened it and traced trembling fingers over the ribbon and metal. “Tell me what happened—whatever you can.”

“We don’t need to hear about that!” Helena snapped.

Ramon glared at her. “Be quiet, Helena.” He focused on Eddie. “Tell me, please.”

Eddie took a deep drink of water. “My unit got the call. We geared up and got on a helicopter. I can’t give you specifics on the mission.” His father nodded. “We got shot down. We had some injured on board, and a man from my unit was killed on impact. My CO set up a defensive position. As the medic, the injured soldiers on board the helicopter were my responsibility. I pulled them out.”

“Wait,” Ramon said and put a hand on Eddie’s arm. “Wasn’t your shoulder dislocated in the crash?”

“Yes,” Eddie said. “I used the pilot’s seat to force it back into the socket.” Adriana made a horrified noise. “Then I pulled the two injured out. The insurgents were targeting the helicopter, so I went back for the last of us.”

“The dead man,” Ramon said quietly.

“I couldn’t leave him behind and risk his body being destroyed,” Eddie said and cleared his throat when his father’s fingers tightened on his forearm. “I lost a little bit of time between dragging his body out and joining the defensive position. I don’t remember being shot the first two times.” He cleared his throat. “The third was in the gut, and I thought…okay, this is it. I’m going to die, and I’ll never see my son again. I was holding my St. Christopher’s medal and wondering what he’d remember about me. He’s so young, and I don’t even remember anything before the second grade.

“I passed out during the evacuation and woke up in a field hospital while I was being prepped for surgery. I went under again, and everything is hazy after that. I know that I was in Germany for a week then I was brought to Fort Bliss. During that time, there were a few conversations about my kidney loss, the involuntary severance, and the medal. I got told how patriotic and heroic I was…thanked for my service every single damn day. Then I came home to a bitter, angry wife and a mother who is more interested in stealing my son than being my mother.”

Helena glared at him. “That’s not true, Eddie!”

“I’m not interested in whatever story you’re going to try to spin,” Eddie said flatly. “This is what I see and what I’m living with. You’d slowly but surely, destroy my son with your highhanded micromanagement if I allowed it. You don’t listen, Mom, and I can’t allow it to continue. I’m taking Christopher to California, and your access to him going forward will be very limited and supervised. You are to offer no input regarding my parenting, medical decisions, or life choices going forward. I will not tolerate it.”

“If you think I’m going to allow—”

“I don’t care what you think you will or will not allow!” Eddie snapped. “This is exactly what is going to happen, and you have no say. I’m moving my family to California. We’re not here to have a discussion about it.”

“Then what are we here to discuss?” she demanded. “My horrible parenting?”

“It’s certainly part of it,” Eddie admitted. “You have some issues that you need to work on, and I’m tired of having to deal with the fallout. I can’t be the only one. You don’t care about anyone but yourself and what you want.” She scoffed. “You buy wine with Pop’s money and bring it into his house despite the fact that he struggles every single damn day with his addiction. His own home should be free of temptation, but you don’t seem to care at all.”

“Your father doesn’t have a drinking problem,” Helena denied. “Stop trying to make it out like I’m victimizing him.”

“Maybe you just want him to fall off the wagon so he’s easier to control,” Eddie said evenly. “It seems like the kind of manipulative shit that you’d do.”

“You always think the worst of me,” she said, and tears welled in her eyes.

“It’s pretty hard not to,” Eddie admitted. “Still friends with Margery?”

She flinched and averted her gaze. He noted that no tears actually fell and wondered how many times in the past he’d fallen for her little act. Because Eddie certainly didn’t believe the tears were genuine.

“What about Margery?” Ramon asked in confusion. “What’s your mother’s best friend got to do with anything?”

“Want to tell him, or shall I?” Eddie questioned.

“You overreacted, Edmundo!” Helena shouted. “It was fine. Nothing happened.”

Eddie inhaled slowly and turned to his father. “Shortly after I turned fifteen, Margery climbed into bed with me. You were on a bender, and Mom was two bottles of wine into her Friday night. I guess Margery thought I would be eager to bang a forty-five-year-old divorcée. I shoved her out of my bed, and she started screaming at me like I was the fucking problem. Mom came in and dragged her naked ass out of my room. Then ordered me to never speak of it again. I can’t even smell her disgusting perfume without wanting to throw up, and it’s been twelve years.”

“Did she touch you, Eddie?” Sophia’s fingers curled around his hand as she settled in the chair beside him at the table. “Talk to me—did that bitch assault you?”

“I didn’t give her a chance to get what she wanted,” Eddie said. “Like I said, she thought she was seducing me. She kept telling me how pretty I was and how I needed an experienced woman to make me see I didn’t need my boyfriend.” He cleared his throat. “In retrospect, it’s clear that Mom was bitching to her about my bisexuality. I’ve always wondered if she didn’t send Margery into my room to cure me.”

“I would’ve never done such a thing!” Helena shouted and lurched from the table, rubbing her mouth. “I don’t even remember that night—just her screaming and you shouting at her. She said you invited her into your room, and she was too weak to deny you. Then you changed your mind because she was old.”

“Yeah, well, I was a virgin at the time, Mom. I wasn’t looking for a Mrs. Robinson experience, and I certainly wasn’t ballsy enough to try to seduce a middle-aged woman. I loved Gabriel, you know. I’d have never cheated on him. But it doesn’t matter—because what she tried to do would’ve been statutory rape no matter what I agreed to, and you’re still friends with that bitch. It wouldn’t do much for your country club experience if you were on the outs with their queen bee, right?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested she cure you,” Helena said flatly. “I’ve never invited her back to the house, and it’s been over a decade. Why are we even talking about this? It’s ancient history.”

“It’s the reason why I can’t trust you, and that’s why you’ve never been allowed to keep Christopher without Pop at home.” Eddie raised an eyebrow when his mother turned to look at him in shock. “And that only happened because he promised me he’d stay in AA and on the wagon. I need you to understand that if you even think about taking me to court—I’ll get on the stand and ruin your life. I’ll ruin Margery Forsythe’s life, too, and everyone will blame you. I wonder how her family and friends would react if they found out she likes to sexually abuse underage boys.”

“Wow,” Adriana said flatly. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell…. No, I’m sorry, Eddie. None of that is your fault.” She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. “This is disgusting, Mom. What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing happened!”

“She tried, and that’s enough!” Ramon exploded. “You let that cunt try to touch my boy and did nothing about it!” He lurched out of the chair, and Eddie did, too, because he’d seen that kind of fury before. He snatched his father’s arm, and Ramon jerked free.

“Fuck,” Eddie stumbled, but before he could fall, his father was there catching him in just the wrong way, and agony snaked down his arm from his shoulder. He groaned and choked on the pain.

“God, I don’t even know where to hold onto you safely,” Ramon said roughly as he put Eddie back down in his seat. “Where are your pain pills?”

Eddie shook his head. “I’m only taking them for sleep.” He shuddered and reached out for his water bottle with a shaking hand. Sophia picked it up and put it into his hand. “The addiction issues in our family are overt, you know.”

“Yes, I know,” Ramon said quietly and cupped the back of Eddie’s head. He held him tight, breathing against his hair, and Eddie let himself rest against his father’s body for the first time in years. “There won’t be any lawyers or courts, I swear it.”

“Ramon! You can’t just agree to that! They’re going to take my baby to LA!”

“Christopher is not your baby,” Ramon said evenly. “This is our baby boy, and look what you’ve done to him. You’ve broken his heart, Helena. How can you not be ashamed of yourself? It’s not even about that woman. It’s about you and how you ignore what she did. It’s how you’ve spent my fucking money on that ridiculous country club for over a decade—kissing that bitch’s ass and ignoring the fact that she tried to rape our son. You’d better enjoy the next six months because I’m certainly not going to renew.”

“But….” Helena took a deep breath. “You’re not being fair, Ramon. The country club is all that I have. All of my friends go, and I’ll be cut out of activities and events that are members only.” Her mouth trembled. “I shouldn’t be punished because Eddie’s pitching a fit like a brat.”

“Let her keep her it, Pop,” Eddie said quietly. “And leave her at home when you come to visit us in Los Angeles. It wouldn’t do to make her leave her little country club since it’s all she has. She made her choice years ago, and I’m tired of pretending she didn’t. Get her out of my house.”

“I’m not leaving until I see Christopher,” Helena said and crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you let your friend take him out. What could that boy know about taking care of a child?”

“Evan Buckley is none of your fucking business,” Eddie said and put aside his water bottle. “And Buck isn’t bringing Christopher back to the house until I tell him to, and you’re not welcome in my life until you get some help. You’ve done enough damage.”

 

Part 5

Buck eased Christopher out of the car seat and onto his shoulder. There was a car in the driveway, but it wasn’t the one that Helena Diaz drove. The front door opened, and a dark-haired woman appeared in the doorway. Gorgeous, he thought, as she smiled and stepped forward. He offered the crutches, and she took them, then the backpack he’d slung over his other shoulder.

“Sophia Diaz,” she said quietly. “We didn’t want to leave him alone. Things got rough, and some shit came out that…well.” Sophia shook her head. “Pop left in tears, and I think Mom’s gonna end up in rehab before everything is said and done.”

“Wow,” Buck murmured and patted Christopher’s back when the boy stirred. He walked into the living room and found Eddie sitting on the sofa with another beautiful woman. “Congrats on winning the genetic lottery, Diaz siblings.”

Eddie laughed a little, but the man looked wrung out and exhausted. “How’d things go?”

“Oh, he walked…for about thirty minutes, then ten minutes at a time, then I’d carry him for another forty-five. He’s exhausted, though, and I fed him junk.”

Eddie laughed. “Did you get a lot of pictures?”

“Tons. We watched them feed the lions. It blew his little mind,” Buck said and shrugged when Eddie sighed. “The carnage was epic and little kids love that stuff. It might have made me a vegetarian, though.”

“Says a man who can eat the better part of a cow,” Eddie retorted. “These are my sisters—Sophia and Adriana. This is Evan Buckley, but he prefers Buck.”

“He’s prettier in person, little brother,” Sophia said with a grin.

Buck blushed, and Eddie laughed. “Well, I can’t stand any of you at this point. I’m going to put him down for a nap.”

“Thanks,” Eddie said.

He’d gotten Christopher’s shoes off and had the boy tucked under a thin blanket on the bed before Eddie appeared in the doorway. Buck put the shoes into the closet and tucked the boy’s crutches against the nightstand.

“Sophia made us dinner—there’s a pot of chili simmering on the stove,” Eddie said, and Buck nodded. “Kitchen?”

“Yeah.”

Buck followed along, watching Eddie move down the hall a little easier than he had when he’d first arrived. “Looking good. Maybe we’ll get you a fancy cane.”

“Don’t even joke about it,” Eddie said as he sat down at the table. “I told Pop about the Margery thing.”

Buck grimaced. “I can just imagine how that went down. Did she blame you?”

“She did bring up the invitation angle again,” Eddie said. “I told them that I don’t want to see her right now and maybe not for a very long time. She didn’t take it well, and my father is livid over the Margery thing. Far more than I ever expected him to be since it was a woman, and I think that’s pretty unfair of me looking back. He’s got issues, as you know, with toxic masculinity. But he was…I’ve not seen him that mad when he was sober, ever.”

“Did he lose his temper? You said he would throw shit around when he was drunk.”

“I think he came close to going off a bit, but I derailed him more by accident than design. I grabbed him, and he jerked free of me. I lost my balance, and he barely caught me before I hit the floor. Of course, he dug his hand right into my damn shoulder. He didn’t do it on purpose, but after that, he sort of went into a different headspace.”

“What kind of headspace?” Buck asked curiously.

“Head of the family sort of thing. He asked Sophia and Adriana to come to their house to clean out all the liquor and told my mother if she wanted to continue to live the lifestyle she was accustomed to, that she would start therapy. He’s outlawed all drinking in their house, and she threw an epic fit in the front yard over it. Sophia is going to lobby for a stint in rehab. She’ll probably get her way.”

“Will it help?”

“Her drinking is just a symptom of her real issues,” Eddie said wearily. “We need to think about what sort of shipping pod we need.”

“The lawyer that was handling my uncle’s estate said the house was basically ready for occupation,” Buck said. “It’s fully furnished. He was a big fan of mid-century modern, which I’m not opposed to, but it’s not really fit for what you’ve got going on here. The house was built in the 1960s, so it has that vibe which is very trendy right now.”

“Shannon picked out all of this,” Eddie said. “I’m not attached to it. We could sell it with the house—take the beds and Christopher’s stuff and my personal things.”

“It will reduce the size of the pod, which would be cheaper,” Buck reasoned. “Maybe take the office furniture and the pull-out couch. If we can’t use it when we get there, it can be sold or donated.”

Eddie nodded. “I’m not traumatized by that thing with Margery.”

“Sure,” Buck said. “I mean, you can’t stand to smell her perfume and have only slept with two women in your whole life despite claiming to be bisexual. When’s the last time you had sex with your own wife?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, I was overseas.”

“You were here eight months ago,” Buck pointed out. “For two weeks.”

“That’s not…she was working a lot of shifts, and I was exhausted. We barely had time to talk.”

“Dude,” Buck muttered. “Are you fucking serious?”

Eddie flushed. “Shut up.”

“We both agree that I’m very familiar with your sex drive, right?”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to talk about this stuff while I’m married,” Eddie said sullenly. “Besides, you and I only had the honeymoon phase. Maybe we’d have ended up in separate bedrooms after a year.”

Buck huffed. “I doubt it. You spend way too much time checking out my ass.”

“It’s a great ass,” Eddie said and shook his head when Buck grinned. “Shannon got served today. I haven’t gotten any furious texts, so I don’t know how she’s going to respond. It took the guy serving the papers two days to pin her down for delivery since I asked them not to serve her in a public place or at work if she’s working already.”

“Is she working?”

“Yeah, at a hospital not far from her mother. She probably started her job search the day I told her I was being discharged. She only asked me once if I was interested in moving to San Bernardino. I said no, but that I would consider LA in a few months. She said no to that because she didn’t want to live near my father’s family. But, she was clearly already planning to leave without us.” Eddie took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. She got served.”

“I submitted my application for the fire academy,” Buck said. “And I’ve got some written references heading my way for when I actually apply for a job. I’ve got a PO Box in LA, so I used that for delivery since I wasn’t sure how much longer you can tolerate being here, emotionally.”

“If I had a choice, I’d already be in LA,” Eddie said roughly. “And you know that well enough. But we have to stay here to file papers, and there is a sixty-day waiting period, but my lawyer said it could take six months for a judge to sign off, or it can happen quickly. There’s no predicting it after the waiting period is expired. It could get really awful if she contests. But I slanted the divorce papers in such a way that I hope she’ll just agree and walk away.”

“If she fights it?”

Eddie shook his head. “God, I don’t know. It’ll certainly put a wrench in our upcoming marriage of convenience.” He grinned when Buck laughed.

“Sorry, things were shitty at the family meeting,” Buck said quietly.

“They always are,” Eddie said and stretched, then rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s awful. I think I have PTSD from the one we had when I was a junior in high school.”

“Sometimes I’m sort of glad my parents barely bothered to remember I existed,” Buck said and pulled out his phone. “Here, check out these pictures of your kid educating me about animals.”

Eddie took the phone. “Thanks for this, Buck. He didn’t need to be here for that shit, and I….” He shook his head and focused on the pictures.

There was a picture or four of Christopher in front of over twenty different exhibits and a bunch of selfies Buck had taken with him. They’d clearly documented the entire experience at an OCD level, which he knew Buck to be known for. The man was big on experiences and having the evidence of it afterward. Eddie was looking forward to the pictures from Africa; he just wasn’t in the right place to look at them.

“I don’t think I ever got over you,” Eddie admitted and flushed a little when he looked up and found Buck staring at him in shock. “Sorry, we’re not talking about that, right?”

“It’s not a good time,” Buck acknowledged. “You’ve got a lot of transitional emotions going on, and the last time you were in that sort of mental and emotional place—you picked up your ex-girlfriend in a bar, had a one-weekend stand, and knocked her up.”

Eddie huffed. “Wow, the judgment in your tone, Evan Buckley, is genuinely appalling.”

Buck shrugged and went to the stove to check the chili. “This smells great. Maybe I should offer Sophia my theoretical health insurance.”

“That would make future family events really awkward,” Eddie said dryly. “And I’d rather not have to plot to steal my own sister’s insurance provider, but I’m not above it.”

Buck grinned and shook his head. “I’m gonna take a shower, and hopefully, Christopher will be up then. Otherwise, I might have to eat early because I’m starving, like I’ve been climbing all day. Though carrying him around a whole zoo was a decent workout.”

Eddie nodded. “I’m going to start going through stuff in the attic. I’ve got a few crates up there—most of it can probably be tossed or donated depending on the condition.”

“Like what?”

“Clothes, most of that won’t be worth much to anyone.”

“Ah, well, people are into thrifting and stuff. So anything in good condition that doesn’t have unintentional holes in it should be donated,” Buck said and pulled his T-shirt over his head and used the material to rub his head. “Texas is terrible.”

“California won’t be any better on the heat front, and get out of my kitchen half-dressed. What’s wrong with you?” Eddie demanded, and Buck laughed as he walked away.

“There’s not a damn thing wrong with me, and I know it,” Buck said airily as he walked down the hall. “You do, too.”

He did know it, Eddie admitted, but his friend’s ego didn’t need any help. He picked up Buck’s phone and sent the pictures of the zoo to himself. Then picked out his favorite to make the background of his own phone. They both looked happy—beautiful. Eddie wished that he’d gone with them instead of having a family meeting. Of course, he couldn’t have, even if he hadn’t wanted to put his foot down with his mother. There was no way he could’ve made even half the walk they’d clearly gone on. The El Paso Zoo wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t a short stroll either.

* * * *

“I asked Sophia to text us the recipe for that chili,” Eddie said, and Buck hummed his approval as he set a third crate down in the middle of the living room.

Christopher had woken up briefly, ate, and passed right back out again. Eddie was amused, but Buck had been concerned. After Eddie had checked the kid over to confirm he didn’t have some kind of heat stroke, Buck had calmed down. Now, they were going through the attic.

“Great, because I really liked it. I didn’t even care that she used ground chicken instead of beef. There is another crate up there—I think it’s full of your camera equipment.”

Eddie grimaced and pulled one of the plastic crates closer so he could open it. “Shannon and I had argued a lot over that…she said I spent more time behind the camera than I did living my life. So, I just packed it all away and put it in the attic. One of the cameras in the crate was my grandfather’s, and I didn’t want her to throw it away. She couldn’t bring crates down from the attic on the ladder, so….” He shrugged. “It was like she was jealous of it, which is weird.”

“Not all that weird,” Buck said. “You were clearly very passionate behind the camera, and you loved it. Honestly, it was one of the more attractive parts of you when we first met. Your enthusiasm and dedication to finding your narrative in life through a camera was compelling as fuck. I wanted to crawl all over you from the very start.”

Eddie flushed and cleared his throat. “I miss it—my iPhone camera really doesn’t cut it.”

“I’ll bring it down then,” Buck said easily.

“I….” Eddie frowned and pulled out a stack of T-shirts that had his high school name blazed across them. “Yeah, okay.”

“You went to Catholic school?” Buck questioned. “God, that explains so much.”

Eddie laughed and held up one of the shirts. “I kind of forgot how skinny I was in high school.”

“We can tear those up and use them for rags when we clean the house,” Buck said. “No one is going to buy that in a thrift store.”

Eddie nodded and made a pile of stuff for rags, then another for donation. By the time Buck returned with the crate full of AV equipment, he’d gone through all of the clothes. None of it would fit him, so the decisions were easy to make. The second crate was full of paperwork which was kind of frustrating since some of it would need to be kept and a lot of it should be shredded.

He pulled out the last folder and opened it to find his marriage certificate. Eddie stared at it for a moment, flummoxed by how much it hurt to look at it. Tears stung his eyes, and he wiped them hastily.

“Hey.” Buck settled down on the floor with him. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie just shook his head and took a deep breath when Buck took the folder and opened it.

“Ah.” Buck closed the folder and set it on the pile of tax returns. “It’s okay to be hurt by her behavior.”

“When I was in the hospital in Germany recovering, all I could think was that I wanted to come home to her and Christopher. Things haven’t been great, but I thought I could depend on her. I thought I could trust her to honor the promises she’d made to me. I’d done all I could to be a good husband and father. I certainly failed at it as well.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I was away too much.”

“That has nothing to do with it,” Buck said evenly. “Men and women spend decades serving in the military while building good, strong families along the way. Shannon couldn’t cut it, and she should’ve been honest about that. Moreover, it was an untenable situation for you in the long term. You told me you wanted more kids, Eddie, and she didn’t….”

Want the one they had, Eddie finished in his head. “Yeah, I hadn’t really talked to her about that. She was stressed out from work and her mother, who’s been sick for over a year. I suggested that she go out there for a while when I was deployed, but she rolled her eyes at me. I guess she didn’t want to establish any sort of situation where I’d follow her to California. Maybe I’m paranoid.”

“Or maybe you’re just seeing things from a different perspective,” Buck said and opened the crate of AV equipment. He plucked a camera from the box and offered it to Eddie. “Tell me about this old one. Is it antique?”

“This is the one that belonged to my paternal grandfather,” Eddie said as he took it. “It’s Rolleiflex TLR. It was made in the 1930s. He worked for the LA Times as a photojournalist.” He turned the camera over in his hands. “Old fashioned in the digital age, but a great conversation piece. When I expressed interest in photography in junior high, my abuela gave me this. My father was very supportive of the whole thing. Bought me my first digital camera—an expensive one because he really liked seeing his father reflected in his son.” He turned the camera over in his hand and realized it still had film in it. “I used to use a dark room at school. I always wanted my own.”

He put the camera back in the crate and brushed his fingers over the Nikon his father had bought him. “I think…I’ve got a long recovery ahead of me if I get the additional surgeries, and maybe filling my time up with this could be good. Chris will be in school, and you’ll be working….” He cleared his throat. “What do you think?”

“Eds.” Buck put a hand on his forearm. “You don’t need to make excuses to me. If you want to do something that you love, then do it.” He squeezed gently. “I’ve got your back.”

“You know I’ve got yours, too, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buck said easily. “From the very start.” He lifted his hand off Eddie’s arm. “There is some old furniture in the attic. Some of it could be useful to someone. I thought we could put it on Craig’s list for free.”

“If you handle it,” Eddie said. “I’m sure the real estate agent will want to stage the house or whatever. Leaving the furniture seems like the best course of action, but I’m sure they’ll wait to pare down. Can we get pictures of what the house in California already has?”

“Oh, I’ve already got those. They’re on my iPad,” Buck said. “Let’s finish this, and we’ll go through them—make some choices. The sooner we know what we’re taking, the sooner we can make a reservation for a pod.” He paused. “Also, Christopher let me know his friend in preschool has two dads.”

Eddie grinned. “He’s not subtle.” He cleared his throat. “How do you feel about that? Does it bother you?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me at all,” Buck assured. “Marrying you comes with the responsibility of parenthood, and I get it. I just wasn’t prepared for him to get it. He’s smart, Eddie, and intuitive.”

“His CP hasn’t presented with any cognitive issues,” Eddie said.

“No, I mean, he’s actually smarter than average,” Buck explained. “I looked it up—the average four-year-old has a vocabulary of about a thousand words. They can make speak clearly and use complex sentences. They can also tell you stories and stuff like that. The thing is that Christopher could clearly recognize words on the zoo information panels, and he said he hadn’t been to the zoo in six or months. Your sister, Sophia, took him, so we should ask her when that happened. Apparently, he’d only been once before. But he recognized nearly all the animals, could tell the penguin breeds apart, and was able to tell me stuff about the animals that he said he learned on his iPad.”

Eddie motioned toward an iPad mini on the coffee table. “I’ve been restricting his access to the device because I don’t know what’s appropriate.”

Buck reached out and picked the device up, then activated it. “Looks like…educational games featuring numbers, letters, and animals.” He nodded. “He’s retaining a lot of information, and I think we need to make considered choices about his school choice in LA. I’m not sure that a public school, even one that could handle his physical issues, is the right choice. I’ve made a list of research to do for California—resources, programs, and grants that we can qualify for because of his disability.”

“Shannon never mentioned him being any sort of advanced,” Eddie said. “Maybe she didn’t notice. Why did you? Because I’ve not…I wouldn’t have questioned it.”

“Because I did the whole ski instructor thing in Aspen, I had two classes of little kids. My students ranged from six to twelve. After twelve, they were put into junior-level classes, and there was a different instructor for that. I also did an adult intermediate level. Anyways, I’ve met six-year-olds who weren’t as articulate as Christopher. He’s bright, curious, and eager to learn. It would be awful if he were put in a school system that didn’t appreciate that or only saw his physical issues.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said. “He seems to like preschool. I’d hate for him to end up in an environment that made him hate learning. Let’s figure out where he is without drawing attention to it. I don’t want to put any pressure on him. I was labeled gifted as a child, and it was no picnic. It is how I met his mother though—because by the time I was in high school, I was in advanced classes. Shannon was preparing for college, but it was the last thing I wanted. Still, my parents were so proud that I was in those classes that I never tried to get out of them. They weren’t difficult, just irritating.”

Buck nodded. “I’ve got a good memory—really good. It helped me a lot in school. I didn’t enjoy high school at all and skipped college, as you know. My sister is a registered nurse. She did very well in high school and got a scholarship. My parents were so proud of her.”

“But not you?”

“Oh, never me,” Buck said easily. “They probably tell everyone they only ever had one child these days. My sister married a man our mother can’t fucking stand. I always took that as an example of Maddie not letting them run her life. But Doug’s an asshole, so I hope my sister wises up soon and dumps that loser.”

“He’s the doctor, right?” He didn’t know much about Buck’s sister and had seen exactly one picture of her over the years.

“Yeah, complete with an overblown ego and a God complex,” Buck said. “I don’t know what Maddie sees him.”

“Sometimes we make mistakes,” Eddie said and glanced toward the pile of legal paperwork. “And the idea of getting out of the mess you made can be kind of overwhelming. After Christopher was born, every single thing I did was about him. Providing for his care, putting food on the table, and making sure he had everything he needed. His first gait trainer cost nearly 3,000 dollars, and insurance didn’t want to pay for it. Because once they started paying for them—they’d have to pay for one after another as he grew. They said he was too young to start walking, but he was trying to stand at ten months.”

“What’d you do?”

“I filed one complaint after another, and TRICARE, my benefit plan through the Army, eventually came down on my side, and since it was our primary insurance, Social Security followed suit and paid what TRICARE didn’t. Still, it was a fight early on for every single thing—even the first operation.” Eddie took a deep breath. “It’s been hard, and I think Shannon bore the brunt of it. My mother didn’t help at all in that regard. She protested every surgery, the gait trainer, and even the transition to crutches.”

“Social Security benefits really aren’t going to be enough,” Buck said quietly as he frowned. “Well, we have a plan. I have a load of qualifications—I worked hard for SAR certifications, and I’ll get more. Wayne says the fire academy is going to take me, but if they don’t, I’ll figure it out. Even if we have to sell the house in LA, too.”

“Well, we’ll have a big cushion with my severance pay plus the sale of this house,” Eddie said. “We’ll be fine.”

“As long as Shannon doesn’t protest the divorce and create a big legal mess for us to untangle. Lawyers are expensive.”

“It took a thousand dollars just to have the papers drawn up and served,” Eddie said. “Plus, there was a filing fee. If she doesn’t play ball, then we’ll have to pay the lawyer for hours upon hours of work.”

“So will she,” Buck pointed out. “And if she was so concerned for money that she took half of yours, knowing she had no right to it, then maybe she can’t afford to make a mess anymore than we can.”

Eddie hoped that was true because, despite his father’s promises, he still worried that his mother could make another legal mess for him to deal with in an effort to keep him in Texas.

“I hate how much room I give my mother in my head,” Eddie murmured.

Buck hummed under his breath. “That’s pretty normal, apparently. The person who causes you the most stress and trauma takes up a lot of mental energy. I try to keep my brain busy, so I don’t think about my parents too much. I just don’t get why.”

“Why what?” Eddie questioned.

“I don’t know why my parents don’t love me,” Buck said and shrugged. “I used to spend a lot of time thinking about it and trying to figure out what I did wrong.”

“You did nothing wrong,” Eddie said immediately. “Seriously. It is natural to love your own children, Buck. And a person who can’t love their own child should have no business trying to be a parent at all.”

* * * *

“I got into the academy,” Buck said as he sat down on the sofa with Eddie and Christopher. “They emailed me a bunch of information and some stuff to read. I got a rec list from Wayne for reading materials, and he promised to get me the manual for the LAFD.”

“Yeah?” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, I can start the eighteen-week course in a month or in three months. I’ve gone ahead and signed up for the three-month date,” Buck said. “If we have to push it, then we’ll cross that bridge when the time comes.”

“By that time, I should be able to manage on my own,” Eddie said. “If you have to go out ahead of us, then it will be fine. The sooner you get through that part, the faster your job search can start, right?”

“Right,” Buck said.

“What kind of job?” Christopher questioned as he stared intently at his iPad.

Buck focused on the game they’d downloaded and watched the boy match shapes quickly with very few mistakes. He also corrected quickly when he made a mistake. “I’m going to go to the fire academy in LA and hopefully get a job as a firefighter.”

“A firefighter came to the school,” Christopher said. “Told us what to do about a fire.”

“What do you do?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Crawl on the floor, get out of the house, and call 9-1-1,” Christopher said. “I should also call them if there’s blood or accidents.” He nodded to himself. “Help is important.”

“Very important,” Buck agreed. “Knowing when to ask for help was something I struggled with for a long time.”

“How did you learn?” Christopher asked and set aside his iPad with a little frown. Eddie took it and put it on the coffee table.

“I met some good people who taught me the value of helping others and taught me to recognize when I need help. I was working with them when your Dad called and invited me to El Paso,” Buck said. “Maybe you’ll meet them one day.”

Christopher nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He slouched against Buck as he’d quickly learned which side was safe to lean on his dad, and the way they were seated wasn’t a good option for Eddie. “I don’t want you to go to California without us, Bucky.”

Buck trailed fingers through the boy’s curls. “Why?”

“Maybe you’ll forget about me like Mommy did,” Christopher said quietly, and Eddie took in a harsh breath.

“Well, I don’t do that,” Buck said and hugged Christopher close. “I hadn’t seen your dad in almost five years when he called me to tell me he’d been hurt and needed help. I never forgot him that whole time.”

“That’s longer than I’ve been alive,” Christopher said.

“Yeah,” Buck said. “You were born about twelve months after I met your dad.”

“Were you and Daddy boyfriends in Colorado?”

Buck exchanged a startled look with Eddie. His friend shrugged, and Buck considered a kid-safe answer. Because frankly, they hadn’t been anything like boyfriends. They’d been friends turned very passionate lovers for less than a month. Then they were separated by circumstances.

“We became best friends in Colorado,” Buck said. “Then he got transferred to Fort Bliss here in Texas, and I ended up going to Aspen for work.”

“Can you be my best friend, too? That way, you won’t forget about me.”

“Yeah, absolutely, Superman,” Buck said and pressed a kiss to the top of the kid’s head. “That’d make me a very lucky guy.”

“Yeah?” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, of course,” Buck said with a quick smile. “Tired of your game?”

“It’s kind of boring,” Christopher said. “Can we get one with numbers?”

“Sure, I’ll find something for tomorrow,” Eddie said. “But for now, it’s time for a bath.”

“Gah, Daddy,” Christopher groused even as Buck stood and snatched the kid up. He laughed as Buck tossed him gently over his shoulder. “Bucky!”

“Gotta practice my fireman’s carry,” Buck said in amusement.

“That’s not exactly right,” Eddie said. “But he’s too small for that to actually work.”

“It’ll do,” Buck declared and walked off with Christopher giggling helplessly.

Eddie let his head rest against the couch and took a few deep breaths as he stretched out his leg and massaged the still-healing muscle. He felt like he was static, hovering on the edge of something good, but an awful force was lingering behind him. His physical recovery was on course, per the doctors, but he knew that emotionally he was floundering. It wasn’t all to do with the combat injury or his pending divorce. Though he certainly felt like a failure for the way his marriage had disintegrated.

Suddenly exhausted, Eddie just slid down on the couch, snagged a pillow, and curled up with it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Pain was curling down his thigh, but it felt weirdly good. It made him feel alive. He drifted a bit and started when a big hand settled on his arm. He opened his eyes and found Buck squatting in front of him.

“Eds.” Buck’s face was open with concern as he ran a hand gently over Eddie’s head. “Talk to me.”

Eddie shook his head and turned his face against the pillow when his eyes started to burn. Buck’s hand cupped the back of his head, and the warmth of his friend’s body seemed to surround him as the other man crowded close.

“We’ll get through this,” Buck whispered against his ear. “I promise.”

“She broke my son’s heart,” Eddie whispered. “Just like my mother broke mine, but he’s too young to understand it. My mother doesn’t regret anything she’s ever done, Evan. I wonder if Shannon will.”

“I hope she will,” Buck said. “But he’s young, and we both know his memories of this part of his life will eventually fade to some wispy ideal. I’m not saying that we should encourage him to forget about his mom, but I don’t think redirection when he gets upset is out of line. We’ll get him a therapist once we reach LA. Okay?” He paused. “You, too.”

“Yeah,” Eddie whispered as he turned and tucked his face against Buck’s neck. “Okay.”

“And I promise, Eddie, I won’t break his heart,” Buck murmured. “I’ll keep yours safe, too.”

Eddie shifted slightly and brushed his mouth carefully against Buck’s in a soft, sweet motion that barely glanced at a kiss, then they stayed where they were, forehead to forehead, sharing air.

“You shouldn’t kiss me,” Buck murmured, but then he turned his head slightly and returned the favor.

After a few moments and the briefest of tastes, Buck withdrew and sat back on his heels. “You need to take a pain pill and a bed to rest on. I let Christopher pick out his own pajamas. It could be a crime.”

Eddie laughed, but it felt weak and unnatural despite how amusing the thought of his son’s mismatched pajamas potentially was. He cleared his throat. “What did he pick?”

“Superman top and T-Rex bottoms.” Buck paused. “So red, blue, green, and orange.”

“He likes it,” Eddie said quietly.

“What?” Buck questioned.

“He likes it when you call him Superman—like it’s some special thing between the two of you.”

“Is that okay?” Buck asked and started chewing on his bottom lip.

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie said and took a deep breath as he sat up. “I only have one pain pill left,” Eddie said and cleared his throat. “I put in a request to the pharmacy for a refill.”

“Good,” Buck said. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow, and we’ll keep monitoring it just as we have. Everything will be fine.” He stood from the floor and helped Eddie off the couch.

* * * *

Physical therapy had been a bit of fresh hell, and Eddie hadn’t wanted to move off the couch when the doorbell rang. Buck had brought him home, set him up with water, his phone, and the TV remote then he’d taken Christopher to the store. But he limped to the door, using his cane far more than he had the day before, and opened it to stare in the face of his high school boyfriend.

“Eddie.” Gabriel reached out with a sweet smile and pulled Eddie into a hug, one hand curling around his side as he did so.

Eddie hissed a little and exhaled slowly. “Gabriel…what are you doing here?”

“I heard you’d been discharged from the Army,” Gabriel said and eased into the house despite the lack of an invitation. “What’s up with the cane?”

“I was injured out of the Army, as I’m sure you already know,” Eddie said roughly as he shut the door and locked the knob. He didn’t want his mother to just stroll into his house, and she was prone to doing it if the door wasn’t locked. “You’re obviously still Facebook friends with my mother.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel laughed. “She also posted a genuinely gleeful announcement about your divorce.”

Eddie huffed and went back to the couch. He put his cane down beside him to prevent the man from sitting beside him. Gabriel took in the overt action with a quick, warm smile that Eddie used to find charming. He watched his ex take a seat across from him in the chair Buck favored when he was alone in the living room and was kind of put off by it.

“Still in the closet?” Eddie questioned because while he was bi, Gabriel was entirely gay and had been hiding it since he was a teenager. “I heard you were getting married next summer to a woman.”

“The engagement is still on. Yesenia is neck deep in planning the wedding,” Gabriel said and exhaled slowly. “It’ll be fine.”

“Right,” Eddie said. He’d wasted years on Gabriel and had even attended his own junior prom alone because his boyfriend of three years took a girl to keep up appearances with his parents. “You’re going to be fucking miserable.”

Gabriel blinked in surprise. “I’m dealing with it.”

“You’re drowning in your parents’ bigotry,” Eddie retorted.

“You married a woman.”

“Yeah, because fucking one has never made me want to hurl,” Eddie retorted. “I do wish you were at least bisexual. It would make what’s coming for your easier. Did you feed this one the same line about waiting until after you were married for sex?”

“You didn’t use to be so blunt,” Gabriel muttered. “And bitter.”

“I’m not bitter,” Eddie denied. “I’m in pain—I just got out of physical therapy, and I’m out of pain pills. Why are you here?”

“Your mom messaged me—said you might like to see me,” Gabriel questioned. “She said you still loved me, and I….”

Eddie blew air out between his lips. “You were my first everything. I’m always going to love you, but it’s not the same as it was. And I certainly wouldn’t invest myself in trying to manage your issues with your closet door when I took mine off the hinges when I was nineteen. I honestly would’ve come out in high school if you hadn’t begged me not to. I realize you were protecting yourself, but it’s been years since your father could kick your ass.”

“I’d lose my whole family, Eddie. You’re lucky that your family loves you enough to overlook it,” Gabriel said and leaned forward slightly. “I never stopped loving you, either. I was hoping since you’re getting a divorce—”

“Stop,” Eddie snapped. “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.” He rubbed his head with a shaking hand and wondered if he could get Buck to use the clippers on him. He wasn’t sure he could handle a trip to the barber and hadn’t had so much hair in years. “You’re engaged, for fuck’s sake. If you can’t stay faithful, then don’t get married at all.”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever been faithful to,” Gabriel admitted and flushed. “You’re the love of my life, Eddie.”

Eddie was relieved he couldn’t say the same. He pressed a hand down on his thigh as the muscle tightened, and a cramp started. His whole body was tense, and he blamed his ex, which wasn’t fair. The man certainly had no blame to be had regarding his lack of emotional control.

“Do yourself a favor and end the engagement before you have to put down money for vendors,” Eddie said roughly. “Divorces don’t come cheap, and you have no business treating this woman the way you intend.”

“I’m good to Yesenia.”

“A cheating husband isn’t good, Gabriel,” Eddie said with a sigh.

Keys rattled in the door, and it opened. Christopher came in first, and Buck followed with several bags.

“Daddy, we got ice cream,” Christopher announced cheerfully. “Bucky says we earned it because of PT.”

Eddie certainly agreed and watched Gabriel take in the situation. His ex gave Buck the kind of once-over that was almost instantly infuriating. “Gabriel Aguilar, this is my son Christopher and my best friend, Evan Buckley.”

“Hi,” Christopher said cheerfully. “I’m gonna change, Daddy. Bucky says we can build a castle in the sandbox. So I need play clothes.”

Buck shrugged when Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Physical activity as a bribe is better than a cheap toy, right? Because he tried to put four different As-Seen-On-TV products in the cart. Of course, I did buy him some slime because while I can’t be bought, I can be railroaded by a little kid pout.”

Eddie made a face. “You’re cleaning up the mess he makes.” He focused on Gabriel and found his ex staring at Buck. “You don’t qualify for that ride, cabrón.”

Gabriel laughed, and Buck raised an eyebrow.

“He’s so deep in the closet he only sees sunlight through a haze of internalized homophobia,” Eddie said dryly, and Gabriel huffed.

“Wow,” Buck muttered and headed for the kitchen. “Get a therapist, dude.”

Eddie focused on Gabriel as Buck left the room. “Whatever my mother told you was just designed to manipulate us both and maybe derail my plans, which isn’t going to happen.”

“I figured as much, but I did want to see you,” Gabriel said quietly. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“Yeah, well.” Eddie flushed as Buck returned with a bottle of water, an ice pack, and some Tylenol because they’d run out of that and his prescription on the same damn day. “Thanks.”

“Leg up,” Buck ordered, and Eddie shifted around the couch then tucked a pillow under his knee. “You shouldn’t have gotten up to answer the door considering your level of pain. You might have taken a fall.”

“My mom sent him over,” Eddie said.

“Figures,” Buck muttered as he settled the ice pack into place. “Drink your water.” He paused. “The slime has glitter in it.”

“You are the worst,” Eddie said darkly, and Buck just laughed.

Eddie focused on Gabriel and sighed.

“How injured are you?” Gabriel questioned.

Eddie hesitated.

“Three bullets, broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, and missing one kidney,” Buck said shortly. “And he doesn’t need any stress.”

“I’m fine, Buck,” Eddie said quietly. “You didn’t let him take the slime to his room, right?”

“It’s in the kitchen,” Buck said. “Relax, I won’t let him destroy the whole house.” He glanced toward Gabriel. “It was nice to meet you.”

Eddie watched him leave.

“Well, no wonder you don’t have time for me,” Gabriel said wryly. “That’s one pretty boy you’ve got there, Eddie. Is the ink even dry on your divorce papers?”

“He’s my best friend. Buck dropped his whole damn life to come here and help me, and he doesn’t deserve your insinuations,” Eddie said roughly. “And neither do I.”

“I’m not saying it’s wrong.” Gabriel stood. “I can’t blame you at all for calling in gorgeous reinforcements after your wife bailed on you and your kid.” He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “What are my chances of convincing you to stay in El Paso with me?”

“Less than zero,” Eddie said shortly. “I have too much self-respect to have the kind of life you intend on living, Gabe. Besides, I’ve been your dirty secret once before, and it…hurt a lot. I was just too invested in appearing tough to admit it.”

Gabriel flushed and averted his gaze. “Right, well. I hope you have a good recovery. Your mother glossed over your injuries like they were no big deal at all, by the way. But she also bragged about the Silver Star. Her patriotism is off-putting because it leans toward making her look good. Like she should be congratulated for pushing you out into the world.”

“Well, technically, I was a c-section,” Eddie said dryly, and Gabriel laughed. “I’m serious about the marriage, Gabriel. Don’t marry that woman. She deserves better than a sham marriage, even if you think you don’t.”

“I know some people find this whole blunt honesty thing attractive, Edmundo, but it’s actually kind of awful,” Gabriel muttered.

“And that’s why you’d never take a ride on this,” Buck said airily as he left the kitchen and motioned Gabriel toward the door. “Stop insulting your old friend in his own home.”

“Well, we were more than friends.”

Buck shrugged. “I know all about you, Gabriel. I’ve been cleaning up the mess you made for five years.” Eddie flushed because that was very true, and he was kind of ashamed of it.

“I had terrible taste as a teenager,” Eddie muttered, and Gabriel laughed.

“Well, I know what it’s like to be led astray by a pretty face,” Buck said and opened the door, then inclined his head.

Gabriel sighed and pulled out his keys. “Good luck, Eddie.” He focused on Buck. “Not that I think you need it.”

Eddie shifted on the couch as Buck shut the door and flicked the deadbolt into place. “I didn’t invite him over.”

“I didn’t think you would,” Buck said. “It’s easy to see that your mom pushed a button he’s had installed since he was fifteen. Admitting that he wanted you was a turning point for him, and maybe he’s looking for another. Or maybe an opportunity to escape plans that he wishes he hadn’t made.”

“He’s engaged to be married to a woman,” Eddie said. “As far as I know, he’s never successfully fucked a woman. I probably shouldn’t say this, but he’s an exclusive bottom.”

“Oh, I know,” Buck said with a grin. “I can spot that kind of opportunity at a distance.”

Eddie laughed but swallowed a response as his son came into the room. “Hey, Mijo. Ready to take on the world?”

“Just the backyard, Daddy,” Christopher said and leaned on the couch. “Buck, you need to change into play clothes!”

“I can play in anything,” Buck declared. “But, yes, slacks aren’t ideal for a sandbox. I won’t take long.”

Christopher exhaled noisily and slouched against the sofa like he was deeply put upon. “Will you come outside, Daddy?”

“Maybe I can talk Buck into moving my ice pack confinement to the porch swing,” Eddie said. “I can’t believe you talked him into buying you glitter slime.”

Christopher shrugged with a grin. “He didn’t know any better.” He straightened his glasses.

“How do you like your new glasses?”

“They’re good.” He bit down on his lip. “Was that man your old boyfriend, Daddy? Grandma said you used to have one. She used to tell Mommy that you wished you were still with him.”

Eddie grimaced. “I actually wish you’d stop listening to your grandma talk.” His son laughed. “I dated Gabriel in high school before your mom. He just came by to check on me because I was hurt. He won’t be back because I don’t wish I was still with him at all.”

“Good,” Christopher said and made a face. “I don’t want to share you.”

Eddie stared for a moment, startled by the admission, but then nodded. “With anyone or just a boyfriend?”

“Just you, me, and Bucky—we’re a team,” Christopher said. “Right?”

“Right,” Eddie agreed. “You wouldn’t want a little brother or sister, though?”

“Maybe…I need to think about it,” Christopher said. “I like other kids, but maybe just us for a while.”

“For a while,” Eddie agreed and looked up to find Buck standing in the entryway of the living room. “I think I want to sit on the swing.”

“Sounds good,” Buck said. “A bit of fresh air would be good for you.”

* * * *

“You’re great with him, you know,” Eddie murmured.

“I’m trying,” Buck said as he pressed his palm into the sole of Eddie’s foot and gently pushed. “Hurt?”

“Just a stretch,” Eddie said as he flexed his thigh and pulled his knee upward. “It’s good.”

“Little kids are easy to please,” Buck said. “And easy to love—they just soak up everything you have to give them. Those were my favorite classes to teach—no ego, and often they were more amused by their mistakes than anything else.” He checked his watch. “Should I get him up or let him sleep another thirty?”

“Is it wrong that I want to keep him at home?” Eddie questioned. “It’s just preschool, and I don’t think he needs it.”

Buck hummed under his breath. “He probably doesn’t need the actual classwork, but it’s probably stimulating enough, and the socialization is good for him.”

“Yeah, okay. I guess we need to wake him up then,” Eddie said.

“It’s only half the day,” Buck said in amusement. “And you’d better get used to it because he’ll be five soon, and that equals real school, and he’ll be gone for hours and hours.”

“I already missed so much,” Eddie admitted and flushed when his friend smiled at him. “I know I’m acting crazy.”

“It’s fine. I like your kind of crazy,” Buck said and slowly lowered his leg. “Let’s ask your therapist if we can add some resistance exercises for your leg. She’s allowing it for your shoulder.”

“Less injury there, despite the dislocation,” Eddie said. “I did more damage putting it back in than was done during the crash.” He rotated the shoulder. “It’s not bad, though. I’ll ask because I’d like to start working out again. I’ve already lost some muscle weight, and I can’t really afford to lose much more.”

“We can build you back up,” Buck said. “You’ll always be on the lean side, but you’ve got a lot to work with.” He picked up the bright blue resistance band. “Do some work—just stretching, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And now I shall do all the heavy lifting on the childcare front for the twentieth day in a row.”

Eddie laughed. “I knew I called you for a reason.”

* * * *

Eddie groaned as the doorbell rang for the second time and wished he hadn’t left his cane behind in the kitchen. His leg felt stable, but it hurt. He knew physical therapy was going to help, but the middle part between injury and healed sucked so much. He opened the door and stared pointedly at the FedEx guy.

“Edmundo Diaz?”

“Yeah, man,” Eddie said warily.

“Sorry, you look terrible.” The guy flushed. “I mean, you look sick. I need a signature.” He offered a device, and Eddie signed on the screen. “Thanks. Sorry to bother you, though. You should probably sit down.”

Eddie accepted the envelope. “Thanks, and I’ll sit.”

“Good.” The guy nodded and trotted down the front steps.

Eddie limped back to the kitchen and sat down at the table. A cursory look at the addresses on the envelope told him it was from Shannon. It had only been six days since she’d been served. He’d expected a text or something but had gotten no response at all. Now he had something.

He opened it with a sigh and pulled out the divorce papers. A cursory examination revealed that she’d signed it and filled out the various forms the lawyer had sent along for her to file with the papers regarding financial details. In a galling development, she’d disclosed having close to 50,000 dollars in savings. The fact that she’d still tried to take half of his savings and another 5,000 from his checking was infuriating. She must have been banking a lot of her salary from her part-time nursing job since she’d started it to have that much in savings.

There was a folded piece of paper in it, and Eddie reluctantly opened it. Letters from his soon-to-be ex-wife were starting to be a trigger.

~

Eddie,

I’ve signed a waiver, so I won’t have to appear in court. My lawyer said that it’ll make the divorce move quickly if your lawyer pushes it.

This may seem cold and cruel—but I don’t want you to contact me again. I’ll reach out to you when I’m ready. I deserve time to figure out what I want for my life. Tell Christopher that I love him. I just can’t be his mother right now.

Shannon Whitt

~

Eddie stuffed it all back into an envelope and sent a text to his lawyer’s office so the clerk could come pick it all up. He sat where he was as the front door opened, and the jingle of keys signaled the return of Buck. Christopher being in school was a good thing at this point because he was furious.

“Hey, what’s up?”

He motioned to the envelope. “She signed the papers and sent me a note telling me to never contact her again. I texted the lawyer’s office. They’ll send one of their clerks to pick it up. The privilege of being a decorated war veteran.” He cleared his throat. “My lawyer worked in Army CID for a decade and went to law school on the side. Good guy.”

“How can I help?”

“All you do is help,” Eddie said. “I think it makes me resent Shannon all the more.”

“I don’t understand,” Buck admitted and sat down at the table with him. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t regret Christopher; please believe that.”

“I do believe it,” Buck assured. “You love him so much.”

Eddie nodded and cleared his throat. “And I liked Shannon, but she was a rebound from Gabriel my senior year of high school. I guess I was trying to prove to him that I could have what he had to fake, and it was shitty behavior on my part. Then I was back in El Paso after Colorado, and I was in a bar. Then there was Shannon Whitt looking beautiful as ever. And in retrospect, I was rebounding again, and she was convenient. Don’t get me wrong, I did come to love her, but I was never in love with her.”

Buck took a deep breath. “Eddie.”

“I wanted to take you with me,” Eddie confessed. “God, Evan, you were so…exciting and beautiful. Even when I was getting on that transport, I was trying to figure out how I could have you and the career I wanted in the Army. None of it seemed fair to you, no matter how I cut it. So I went to Fort Bliss, and during my first liberty, I picked up Shannon in a bar and spent a whole weekend on her, in her. Trying to forget what I’d left behind in Colorado.”

Buck’s fingers laced with his, and he took a deep breath.

“And I was, between you and me, kind of horrified when she emailed me and told me she was pregnant. I asked for a paternity test, and she acted like I was an asshole for it. We didn’t get it done until she was almost six months along. My father insisted that I marry her so his grandson wouldn’t be born a bastard.” Eddie took a deep breath. “So I married her, and the whole time I pretended I was fine with everything that was happening. I’d just bought this house, so I put her in it, and I got leave when it was time for the birth. Then I held him for the first time, and all of the resentment I had for my own stupidity just flickered away.

“Now, it’s back, and I feel like a selfish bastard for it.” Eddie rubbed his breastbone. “Because she’s abandoned me to this, and I know people think I did the same to her by serving overseas, but I was just trying to provide for my son the best way I knew how.”

“Well, if you expect me to think you’re an asshole for your normal human emotions, you’re going to be disappointed,” Buck said. “I was disappointed, too, when you left, and it was….” He took a deep breath and squeezed Eddie’s hand. “It hurt when you told me you were going to marry her. I’d hoped to see you again, to be with you again, and that maybe there would come a point when everything would work out for us. Then you were married with a kid, and it didn’t seem like it was going to happen.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hell, Eddie, it was no one’s fault. You and Shannon did the best you possibly could, and it didn’t turn out how either of you expected. I wish she’d just be honest with herself and you about what she really wanted. Because, in the end, this is going to hurt Christopher the most. Having his mother disappear on him and probably never come back….” He cleared his throat. “It’s unforgivable.”

“It is,” Eddie said. “She’s told me to not contact her again, Buck. Then said she loved him. How can she claim to love him but refuse contact with him? One day, he’ll be an adult, and he’s going to seek her out. He’s going to ask her why she walked away. She’ll probably blame me.” He paused. “And you.”

“Definitely me,” Buck agreed. “But that’s years away, and while I don’t think parental alienation is ever an option—he’s going to have a wealth of memories of you being exactly what he needs.”

“You, too.”

“As long as you want me,” Buck murmured.

“You said you provide my kid with insurance. These days, that’s up to the age of twenty-six,” Eddie said. “So dig in, Buckley, you’re going to be around for a long time.”

Buck smiled, clearly pleased. “Yeah, it seems so.”

The End

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