Reading Time: 130 Minutes

Title: Firebreak
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: 9-1-1, San Andreas, Numb3rs
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Maddie Buckley/Lou Ransone, Other Canon Pairings
Genre: Romance, Alternate Universe, First Time, Slash
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Explicit Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Discussion-Original Character Death, Discussion-Canon Character Death, Character Bashing, Discussion-Dysfunctional Family Dynamics, Discussion-Domestic Violence, Discussion-Attempted Murder, Homophobia, Discussion-Mass Shooting, Discussion- Suicidal Ideation, Grammarly Beta
Word Count: 110,646
Summary: Evan Buckley only spent a month at the 118 after Eddie Diaz was hired before he was recruited by SAR. Eddie sees that as a missed opportunity in more than one way. He felt like he could’ve made a good friend if they’d had the time. Just one year later, fate would bring Buck back into his life in the exact moment Eddie needs him most.

---

Chapter 1

“Diaz, ready?”

“Almost,” Eddie said as he secured the basket to prevent it from sliding around and pulled the door shut. “Go.”

The helicopter lifted off, and Eddie ignored the little lurch in his stomach as he settled on the bench. Being a part of the SAR reserves was his path out of the 118, so he was forcing himself to get used to riding in a helicopter again. This was his third shift with station 27, a US&R task force station, and he felt like the captain liked him a lot. The next time there was a slot open, he was definitely going to apply for a transfer.

“What the hell!” The pilot jerked in his seat, and Eddie focused on the pilot.

“Chuck?”

“Christ! USAR-27H to dispatch! We’re under fire!”

“USAR-27H, please repeat.”

“We are under fire!” The pilot shouted.

“Go up,” Eddie urged. “Get out of the range of the weapon, Chuck!”

The window next to him shattered, and Eddie threw himself over the injured, unconscious hiker they’d retrieved from the hands of a park ranger. It had been an easy rescue, a milk run per the captain who’d assigned them the task.

“USAR-27H, please clarify! How are you under fire?”

“We’re being fucking shot at,” Chuck snapped and jerked in his seat as the window next to him shattered.

Eddie swore and hurried to the front of the helicopter. The bird started to spin, and he grabbed onto the netting above his head and put a hand on his shoulder as Chuck slumped in his seat. He activated his radio. “Dispatch, this is Firefighter Diaz. We’re under fire at less than a thousand feet, and we’re going down. The pilot has been shot.”

Another window shattered just short of the rush of trees, and Eddie hit the floor again, one hand gripping the stretcher. He couldn’t believe he was going to be in another helicopter crash. The aircraft spun wildly and slammed against a tree.

* * * *

“What do we know?” Buck asked quietly as Captain Ray Gaines led him into the incident tent that had been set up near the park entrance. They were at the base of the Los Angeles side of the San Gabriel Mountains, near one of the visitor centers.

“Two-man crew for a simple pick up,” Gaines said. “Chuck Morrisey was the pilot, and he had a reserve firefighter with him. I don’t know his name. The last thing that was reported was that Morrisey had been shot. We know the helicopter crashed, no radio contact since.”

Buck nodded. He wasn’t technically on duty, but his captain had put out an all-call, and they’d all shown up as quickly as possible. He took a seat with the rest of his team, and Thomas Marshall just shook his head when Buck raised an eyebrow at him.

“I got nothing. Who the hell shoots at a rescue helicopter?”

An asshole, Buck thought but didn’t say. It wasn’t necessary, as the answer was obvious.

“Good afternoon,” a voice said at the front of the tent.

Buck focused on the man.

“My name is Don Eppes, and I’m in charge of the FBI’s Violent Crimes Response Unit for Los Angeles. Three days ago, in Phoenix, Arizona, there was a mass shooting. I’m sure many of you already know about this, but I’m going to lay out the basics. The shooter used a sniper rifle and fired into a crowd of people waiting in line to get into a popular gay dance club. Because of the number of people and the general panic of the crowd, he managed to kill six people and injury five others.

“Due to the amount of skill involved in the shooting, it was quickly determined that the incident was not the work of an amateur. They were able to narrow down known shooters of that caliber and, in just twenty-four hours, had a name. Unfortunately, he had contacts in the Phoenix PD and was tipped off regarding his pending arrest. He ran, and when it was determined he’d crossed state lines, the FBI began a manhunt. An operative from the Fugitive Apprehension Unit tracked him here to LA.

“The suspect’s name is David Clayton Easton, and he is considered armed and dangerous. He was a sniper in the United States Marine Corps and worked briefly as a police officer in Phoenix before he was fired for undue force and homophobia.”

“Is this your way of telling us we can’t go in and get our people out?” Ray Gaines asked.

“If I may be frank, sir,” Eppes said, and Gaines nodded. “I can’t allow you to risk your lives to retrieve bodies. We all know the likelihood that anyone survived the crash is slim. Our operative is actively hunting the fugitive and expects to have him within the next twelve hours. We’ve established a perimeter with the help of the LAPD, and we are asking you to respect that.”

Gaines looked over the map and nodded. “You can have your perimeter, Agent Eppes.” He inclined his head, and every firefighter in the tent stood. “We’re done here.”

Buck knew that head tilt well enough to know the man was about to butt right up against that the agreement he’d just made with the FBI. It wasn’t in their nature to assume that their people were dead without verification. He ignored the looks of shock that they got from everyone else in the tent as they left silently. Gaines held his command in a way that could startle some. The man could have a whole conversation with a quirked eyebrow.

“It’s Eddie Diaz,” Thomas said quietly as they walked toward the U-350, one of the trucks they used for ground rescue operations.

“What?” Buck stopped and stared at him.

Thomas prodded him toward the truck again. “Eddie Diaz, from the 118. It was him in the helicopter with Chuck.”

Buck exhaled sharply as Thomas all but shoved him in the passenger seat. Gaines was driving, another indication that he was already hyper focused on their task and making a plan. “Where are we going?”

“The airfield,” Gaines said shortly. “What do you know about Eddie Diaz?”

“Former Army, father of one,” Buck said. “He has the heavy rescue certs and SARTECH III. Since he’s in the reserves, I guess he has to have SARTECH II at this point as well. He was awarded a medal for the event that got him discharged, a helicopter crash in a combat zone. He was shot several times.” He took a deep breath. “I only worked with him for a month before I transferred, Ray. I don’t know much. His kid is adorable—he’s seven or eight years old.”

“Was he part of the reason you transferred?” Ray asked.

“No.” Buck shook his head. “In fact, I almost stayed for him. He was probationary, and Captain Nash had tasked me with partnering with him during that time. Nash favored a pseudo-mentorship situation for probies. He’s a good man, Ray. But even if he wasn’t, you can trust me to be objective.”

“I trust you,” Ray said as he drove. “I just wanted to know your emotional landscape on this. And I wouldn’t put you in a position to have to help or rescue someone who actively abused you.”

“Then really, you just have to worry about whether or not I’d piss on Howard Han if he was on fire,” Buck said dryly, and Ray shot him a grin. “Sort of joking.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll put him out for you,” Thomas said from the back seat. “What’s the plan, Cap?”

“There are several lookout towers outside of the perimeter on this side of the mountain. They’re currently being manned by volunteers. We’re going to take their place,” Ray said. “Well, you two are going to man towers if that’s okay with you. I’ll be stationing ground crew in other places around the valley as needed.”

“I’m good,” Buck said, and Thomas agreed. “You’ll be preparing for the retrieval operation?”

“Yes,” Ray said. “I’ll fly you both out, drop you with supplies, and you’ll be my eyes out there. You’ll both be at least five miles from the last known location of the fugitive. He’s probably not moving much right now due to the attention he’s garnered and the fact that he’s being tracked. The perimeter appears to be solid, so I suspect this will end with his death.”

“If I were him, I’d find a place to hide and wait for darkness,” Thomas said. “If he was prepared for this, and we have to think he was considering how much time he’s been on the run, then he probably has night vision glasses. He’s certainly trying to get over the border into Mexico, so he’ll be heading south away from those two towers unless he has a new target or gets diverted by the guy hunting him.”

“Eddie knows me,” Buck said. “If he’s alive—he could be in a pretty bad spot mentally due to the trauma of another helicopter crash. A familiar face might help.”

“Then you can have the lookout closest to the crash, but you are not to cross the perimeter that the FBI has set. I’ll get you both maps of that for reference.”

“Understood, sir.”

* * * *

Eddie took his time as he exited the helicopter. He’d anchored his rope on the pilot’s seat as it seemed to be the most stable part of the craft. Chuck was dead, and the patient had been ejected on impact despite the gurney being secured to the floor. He’d packed everything he could into his bag and hoped more of the supplies could be found on the ground. The cooler, normally secured to the back of the pilot’s seat, was also missing. A few bottles of water would be handy, so finding it was a goal.

Once on the ground, he considered the bright orange rope he’d used to rappel. He had another on his back, but he didn’t like leaving such an overt sign that someone had left the helicopter. Eddie ran a shaking hand through his hair and walked away. He couldn’t hide the rope or pull it down, so he needed to get as much ground between him and the wreckage as possible in case the shooter was searching for it.

He found the hiker and the cooler within a few feet of each other. The cooler was busted open, and bottles of water were scattered around. Eddie knelt, checked for a pulse, and took a deep breath when he found none. The man had been in decent shape, despite the concussion, but the crash had finished the job that his fall had started. He adjusted the blanket to cover his face and turned the metal basket over to protect the body from predators. It wasn’t much, but it was what he could do. His supplies were limited. The radio he’d been wearing and the one in the chopper were both broken, and his options were practically zero.

Eddie picked up all the water bottles that were still intact and put them in his bag. The ice had all melted, an indication of how long he’d been unconscious in the wreckage. His head was killing him, so he knew he had a concussion. He had some meds in his bag, so he stopped to take two aspirin. There was a fire lookout tower roughly ten miles from him based on the map he’d downloaded for his phone when he’d joined the SAR reserves. He had no signal. Currently, it was turned off to reserve power and to prevent sound from alerting the shooter to his location. He had no idea who the person was or what they wanted. They’d clearly known how to take down a helicopter, easier certainly with a civilian craft that wasn’t armored, but still not something the average hunter could accomplish as efficiently as it had been done with what had seemed like a sniper rifle.

Eddie had known Chuck Morrisey casually and had been on several rescues with him—this had been their first together in the helicopter. It was beyond enraging that it was also their last. He hated leaving the man behind in the wreckage, but getting him down on the ground would’ve just made his body easier to get to for any animals in the forest. Knowing that he didn’t have the energy to carry either dead man out of the situation was also infuriating. Eddie knew he was lucky to have escaped his second helicopter crash with what was probably a grade-two concussion.

Their altitude and the fact they’d landed in a tree versus hitting the ground had certainly saved his life. Chuck would’ve survived, too, if he hadn’t been shot in the head. Discovering that had made Eddie realize exactly how dangerous his situation was. Maybe the shooter had gotten a lucky shot, or maybe they’d come into the crosshairs of a professional. Either way, separating from the wreckage quickly had become Eddie’s goal.

He didn’t rest until he was at least a mile from the crash. He tucked himself against a large tree, facing the direction of the crash, and took out his phone. Eddie turned on the phone and found he had no signal. He could use the GPS and map apps independently from data. He checked his location, confirmed that he was heading in the right direction, and turned it off again before sticking it in his bag.

After eating a granola bar and drinking a whole bottle of water, Eddie stood and started moving again. He had only a few hours of daylight left, and he needed to make the most of it. He pulled out his St. Christopher’s medal, kissed it, then tucked it away. All he could do was hope that the department wouldn’t tell his family he was dead until they laid eyes on a body. Missing was better than dead, and he trusted that his abuela wouldn’t tell Christopher anything until things were certain. He pushed aside thoughts of his parents entirely as he hadn’t spoken to either of them since they’d found out that he’d updated his will to give custody of Christopher to his Tía Pepa if he were to be killed on the job.

They’d been thrilled by the divorce and Shannon’s surrender of parental rights. It was like they’d assumed that her lack of rights equaled more rights for them. The fallout of him correcting that ridiculous assumption had nearly given him an ulcer. But his parents had learned that they actually had no case to pursue custody. Currently, he was leveraging future positive contact with him against them. His father didn’t want to get disowned by his only son, and Eddie had put that on the table as soon he’d heard they’d gone to a lawyer.

He checked his watch and continued to move—ignoring the pain settling on his bones. Adrenaline was fading, and getting knocked around during the crash was catching up with him. The aspirin had helped a little, but he couldn’t have more for hours. Eddie didn’t even want to think about how he’d feel after he sat down and rested for a while. The sun was close to setting, but at least the temperatures wouldn’t get too low.

* * * *

Buck put down the binoculars. He’d replaced the volunteer over an hour before, and he’d watched the man go down the mountain toward his vehicle as far as he could, then waited for the radio call confirming his safe evacuation. Gaines had ended up putting firefighters in all the lookout towers around the perimeter. He’d been issued a satphone to go along with the radio that was in the tower. He’d cut the lights in hopes of making himself less of a target in case the sniper was near his tower. It did make providing any sort of beacon to a survivor damn near impossible.

He’d hesitated regarding the lights but eventually decided that a firefighter would know to look for the tower, and the shooter hopefully wouldn’t. Maybe that was wishful thinking, but it was all he had.

He really didn’t regret leaving the 118 as the environment was getting more toxic by the second, and Chimney had dedicated so much time to needling him that Buck barely had room to breathe on shift. But he did regret the fact that he didn’t know Eddie Diaz as well as he’d have liked.

The fact that Bobby had treated the jokes like they were trivial hadn’t helped. So, he’d transferred much to the older man’s shock and protest. Thankfully, Bobby hadn’t officially protested because that would’ve been a giant mess, and Buck would’ve been forced to file a complaint. It had helped that Gaines had wanted him since Buck had been at the academy, and more than one deputy chief had agreed he was being wasted in a light brigade like the 118.

He hadn’t really meant to cut everyone off entirely, but his sister’s husband had come looking for her, and the fallout of that had been so emotionally heavy that Buck had acted on autopilot for months after the fact. He’d ended up buying a house close to the airfield, and Maddie had basically done little else but huddle in it for months after killing her husband in Buck’s defense.

Buck had always wanted to believe that his sister would have his back. She’d proven that when Doug had come at him with a knife, and during the ensuing brawl, Maddie had managed to hit Doug in the head with her baseball bat. Doug had never woken up from that blow, and Buck had needed twenty stitches in total, but there’d been no real organ damage done. They’d both come out the other side of it physically okay but emotionally traumatized.

By the time he’d gotten his head above water on the issue of his sister and forced her through several months of intense therapy, all of his connections with the 118 were basically dead. It hadn’t hurt as much as he thought it would because he had a great team at the 56, and he couldn’t ask for a better, more supportive captain. Ray Gaines was all-in on the job and had a great wife and two beautiful daughters who regularly came to the station with food and good cheer. Buck envied the family vibe but tried to keep his distance on that front. He’d learned a hard lesson with Bobby Nash.

Ray didn’t push any of his people for personal connections but did work hard to build a team environment that was based on mutual respect and shared danger. He picked up the binoculars and looked out into the growing darkness again. There was nothing really to see, but he looked regardless. A plane was crossing the park roughly fifteen miles from his location; he could only see it because of the lights.

He hoped Eddie Diaz was still alive and wondered what kind of relationship they could’ve had if he hadn’t left the 118. Buck had thought perhaps that they would’ve been friends, provided the other man could’ve seen through Chimney’s bullshit.

* * * *

Eddie tightened his grip on the flashlight he was carrying but not using. It had a heavy steel case and would work as a weapon, which was exactly why he’d pulled it out of his bag. There wasn’t much moonlight, but he’d adjusted to the darkness as well as he could. He didn’t have shelter, and sleeping wasn’t going to be possible. He couldn’t risk being come upon by an animal in the open. Even sitting to rest was starting to freak him out, and he couldn’t account for that exactly. He knew most wildlife would ignore him, but the thought of coming face to face with a mountain lion was enough to keep him on his feet and heading for the safety the lookout tower would provide.

Impulsively, he stopped, retrieved his cell phone, and turned it on. He turned off the security on it so it would be easier for his family to get access. There was still no signal. He checked his GPS position then started a text to his abuela.

-For Christopher

I love you most in the world and I want you to know that I tried the very best I could to come home to you. If I don’t, please know that I’ll be watching over you all of your days. When things are hard, know that you are strong and capable of anything you set your mind to. When things are sad, know that you’re never alone. I share your every fear, your sadness, and your joy.

The day you were born, Christopher, was the very best of my life. Just existing, you remade me. I was never the same and I’m so grateful for that. You’re the heart of me, Mijo. Please never doubt it.

Eddie stared at the message and saved it as a draft. Then he turned off the phone and tucked it back in his bag. He fully intended to survive, but he felt better for having left a message to hopefully be found if he didn’t. Since he had a lot of protein bars, he wasn’t worried about food. He snagged another and ate it as he started walking. The evening was cool but not cold. The thin jacket he’d had on the helicopter was still shoved into his bag.

He cleared a large section of trees and looked in the direction of the lookout tower. It was too dark to see anything, and there wasn’t a single light visible. Since he’d seen it from the air, on the way out to the rescue, he knew it was there. Eddie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he considered the circumstances. It was likely that ATF or the FBI were in charge of whatever investigation was going on. The LAFD was probably being held back by the feds in response to the active shooter on federal parkland. The FBI would have jurisdiction, he thought, but the ATF could be on standby if they were worried about a stockpile of weapons.

It was a good security measure, Eddie thought, and hoped that the shooter hadn’t already taken refuge in the tower. That didn’t feel likely, as moving deeper into the park wasn’t necessarily the best method of escape. If it were him, he’d be seeking an access road, and he’d certainly have a vehicle stashed somewhere. Eddie wondered where the perimeter for the search ended and briefly considered getting out his phone to study the map.

The lookout was on top of the highest peak in the valley and at least another four miles from him. While the lights would’ve certainly helped, he understood why the tower was dark. Eddie looked up, and his shoulders relaxed as he realized he could see a faint blinking red light. The radio tower. It looked like safety. He put his back to a tree and slid down to sit for a bit, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Eddie couldn’t climb that in his condition because he doubted he’d be able to find the established path in the darkness, and it would be hours before sunrise. Eddie pulled out a bottle of water and took a deep drink. There would be an access road. Based on the position of the tower, it was certainly on the other side of the mountain on the San Bernardino side of the park. He finished up his water, crushed the bottle, and tucked it into the part of his bag he was using for trash.

Eddie closed his eyes and decided to rest just for a moment. It was almost over. In a few hours, the sun would come up, and he would be safe.

Chapter 2

“Eddie, wake up.”

Fingers were tapping his face gently. Eddie rolled his head and opened his eyes. “Buck?”

“Yeah,” Buck said and fitted a mask over Eddie’s face.

“What?” Eddie tried to pull it off.

“No, leave it,” Buck ordered and pushed Eddie’s hand away. “The asshole who shot you guys down set a fucking fire.”

Eddie turned to look around, but his vision was blurry. “What? Where? How?”

“I was in the lookout tower. Saw the smoke,” Buck said shortly, and Eddie found himself hauled over Buck’s shoulder.

“My bag.”

“I’ve got it,” Buck assured. “That thing saved your life, so we’re going to memorialize it.”

“What?”

“I saw that bright-ass orange bag from the tower and violated a direct order from my captain to get here,” Buck said as he started to move.

Eddie closed his eyes because he was nauseous and didn’t want to throw up. He didn’t know if he’d fallen asleep or passed out. Time passed weirdly, and smoke was billowing around them as Buck put him down. He opened his eyes and reached out for the other man at the same time. Buck caught his hand as he knelt in front of him. The air was grey with smoke.

“We’re downwind from the fire,” Buck said as he adjusted his own mask.

Eddie noted then that Buck was wearing two SCBA bottles, something he should’ve realized since he’d been given a mask of his own.

“I can’t believe you came for me,” Eddie blurted out. “It’s at least four miles to the lookout.”

“Just over two, actually,” Buck said and stared for a moment. “Your perceptions are a little off, bud. What kind of injuries are you working with?”

“Concussion, bruising.” Eddie tried to shrug. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“Of course you are. You probably walked all evening and most of the night to get as far as you did in this state,” Buck said and stood, then picked Eddie back up. “Relax, Eddie, I’ve got you.”

“Got my back,” Eddie muttered.

“Yeah, exactly,” Buck said. “We’re about to pass over a firebreak then I can slow down a bit. Sorry about the rough trip.”

Eddie wondered if he should tell him that it didn’t seem rough at all. How off was he? He thought maybe he’d walked about five miles before he’d stopped to rest. But if the tower was that close, then he was wrong about that.

“I can walk,” he declared.

“You could stumble around in the smoke,” Buck retorted. “This is faster.”

Eddie figured that was right. “I missed you.” He paused. “Sorry. You don’t like us anymore.”

Buck’s laugh was sharp and weird. “You must have hit your head pretty hard, bud.”

“I did miss you,” Eddie insisted. “It sucks there now. Everyone is sad, and Chim is mean.”

Buck sat him down again, touched his head carefully, and Eddie hissed as he made contact with the bump on the side of his head. “You are very concussed, Eddie.”

“Yeah?” Eddie tilted his head. “You know, you’re really pretty. I wished I’d told you that before you left us.”

Buck shook his head and laughed; it was a nicer sound than before. “I don’t know how you got this far in this condition.”

“I left a message for Christopher,” Eddie said and grabbed Buck’s arm. “You’ll make sure he gets it, right? He needs to know how much he means to me.”

“He already knows, and you can tell him again very soon,” Buck assured.

“I was heading for the tower so I’d be safe,” Eddie told him. “Where’s the crash?”

“Based on reports from the aerial survey, about eight miles to the south of us,” Buck said and picked him up. “This is the last time.”

“I’m not gonna throw up,” Eddie said firmly.

“It’d be awful in that mask if you did.”

* * * *

Buck grabbed the railing with his free hand after shoving the bag out of the way. It was small enough that he hadn’t considered leaving it behind. Eddie had carried it away from the crash, so it was something the man clearly wanted to keep. The stairs up to the tower were a gradual climb for most of it but got steep near the summit.

“We’re here?”

“Yeah, we’re here.”

“Didn’t take long.”

“You passed out,” Buck said.

“I did not,” Eddie protested.

“You most certainly did,” Buck said in amusement as he pushed open the door and took Eddie to a cot tucked near a wall. He put the man down, removed the mask, and took off his equipment. “Stay right there.”

“My bag.”

“It’s right here,” Buck said and put the bag on the cot next to Eddie.

“I couldn’t send Christopher’s message,” Eddie said, and his eyes flickered shut. “I have to protect my phone so he gets it.”

“Just stay here,” Buck instructed quietly, and Eddie nodded as he pulled the bag close and laid down.

Buck grabbed the satphone, which he’d left behind as he’d rushed out of the lookout. He dialed his captain’s number. They’d ceased radio communication because they weren’t sure what the fugitive had on him.

“Gaines.”

“Sir, I’ve got Eddie Diaz,” Buck said. “I think I got to him before he suffered smoke inhalation. He has a concussion, probably at least grade three, considering his general level of coherence.”

“Did he tell you if the others survived?”

“Even concussed, I don’t think he’d have left them if they were alive,” Buck said quietly. “He’s fixated on his son, however. Has the department contacted his family?”

“Captain Nash is here and would like a personal update on his firefighter,” Gaines said. “Are you cool with that?”

“Yes, sir.” Buck walked to the front of the lookout and took in the spreading forest fire. It was his assumption that the fugitive had started the fire, but he figured it was a good one.

“Buck.” Bobby Nash’s voice was a mixture of anxiety and relief in his ear. “You have Eddie? Is he okay?”

“He has a concussion and lost some time,” Buck reported. “He’s probably having some vision issues. He walked upwards of eight miles last night and wasn’t far from the lookout when he seemingly passed out. I can’t rule out a TBI, but he’s not…slurring his words. He recognized me.”

“Good, good,” Bobby said and breathed heavily in his ear. “I know you’ll take good care of him until we can come to get you both. I’m going to give you back to Captain Gaines—he has some updates to give you.”

“Wait.” Buck took a deep breath. “He’ll want to know what his family has been told.”

“I’ve been in contact with his grandmother, and she knows that he’s missing. I’ll update her as soon as I get off the phone here, so she knows that he’s been recovered alive,” Bobby explained.

“Okay, thanks,” Buck said and waited while the phone was transferred back to his captain. Speaking to Bobby had hurt more than he’d expected it to. He thought he was over all of that.

“Buck, the chief has grounded us due to visibility issues. The fire is spreading fast. I’ve got Sae en route to you in a U350. She’s an hour out from your location, provided the road into the park is passable. We don’t have a good handle on how the fire is spreading due to the lack of aerial investigation.”

“It’s eating up the valley,” Buck reported. “And sorry.”

“For what?” Gaines questioned.

“I broke the perimeter to retrieve him,” Buck confessed. “By at least a mile.”

Gaines was silent for a moment. “I’d have done no different. Keep it to yourself unless specifically asked. I’ll take the heat if there is any.”

“Understood, sir,” Buck said and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t see Easton at all.”

“Based on estimates from other lookouts, the fire was started five to six miles from your location.” He listened to Gaines moving around. “We’re prepping four bombardiers, so look out for the distribution of the water bombs once the FBI clears an operation. They know the lookouts are occupied.” He paused. “How does the firebreak look?”

“Relatively clear,” Buck said. “There’s some grass regrowth, but it’s not bad. I can go out and do some maintenance.”

“No, stay with Diaz and avoid the windows as much as possible. No need to give the fugitive a target if he’s headed your way in response to the fire.” Gaines cleared his throat. “Take care with yourself, Buck.”’

“Of course, sir.” Buck left the window and returned to the cot after the phone call ended. He was glad that Bobby Nash hadn’t gotten back on the phone. “I talked to Bobby. He’s going to call your grandmother and update her.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “They didn’t tell her I was dead, right?”

“No, all three of you were declared missing.”

“Chuck was shot in the head,” Eddie said flatly and closed his eyes. “The hiker was ejected from the helicopter. He died sometime during that or shortly after. I don’t know how long I was unconscious in the helicopter, but the ice was melted from the cooler by the time I got down out of the tree.”

Buck quickly used the satphone to text the details to his captain.

“We didn’t even get the man’s name. He didn’t have ID on him, and his sign-in with the visitor center wasn’t legible.”

“His name was Corey Wilkerson,” Buck said. “Twenty-eight, recently married, no children. He was an Instagram influencer and a semi-pro surfer who did bouldering as a hobby.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “I thought a name would help.”

“It didn’t,” Buck said.

“No.” Eddie grimaced and looked toward the short wall next to him. He touched the glass above him. “How close is the fire?”

“We’re safe—the tower is built on rock, and we have a fifty-foot-wide firebreak between us and the forest.” Buck looked down at the phone in his hand. “Did you want to call your son?”

“Yes, please.”

He passed him the phone, and Eddie started dialing immediately. Knowing the phone number was a good sign, Buck retrieved his bag so he could check Eddie’s vitals and provide some kind of data on that for the captains.

“Abuela,” Eddie said and relaxed on the uncomfortable cot as his grandmother’s voice filled his ear. She whispered a prayer in Spanish, and it was a balm to his soul. “I’m okay.”

“Edmundo, I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry to have worried you. I’m okay—just a few bumps,” Eddie murmured and glanced toward Buck, who was pulling out a blood pressure cuff. “Did you call my parents?”

“No, I had no information to give them and didn’t need the stress of…las tonterias,” Isabel retorted. “Christopher, your papi is on the phone.”

Eddie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She was right, of course. His parents were the source of a great deal of foolishness. He needed some more aspirin and considered rummaging through his bag for it.

“Daddy,” Christopher said. “Are you coming to get me soon?”

“I’m going to be late, Mijo,” Eddie said hoarsely because it was so fucking relieving to hear his baby’s voice that he found it hard to swallow. “I fell and hit my head. So, I’m resting at a lookout tower.”

“Oh.” Christopher huffed. “Daddy, are you near the freaking forest fire? It’s all over the news!”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, but I’m safe. Buck helped me.”

“Buck? I didn’t think you worked with him anymore! Tell him I said hi!”

“I will,” Eddie said and glanced toward Buck.

“Daddy? There’s a bad guy on TV. Are you near the bad guy? Abuelita has the sound turned down, and the closed captions are in Spanish. But I saw the FBI wanted poster. I’m not dumb. I figured it out.”

Eddie exhaled slowly.

“Were you in that helicopter crash? Again? Gah, Daddy, I think you shouldn’t ride in those things anymore!”

Eddie laughed before he could help himself. “I do seem to have bad luck in them. I’m safe, Mijo. Buck’s here, remember?”

“Right,” Christopher said huffily. “Okay. Can I talk to him?”

“I’ll put you on speaker,” Eddie said and glanced toward Buck. “He wants to say hi.”

“Hi, Christopher,” Buck said when Eddie waved the phone.

“Hi! I’m glad Daddy found you, Buck! You should come home with him so I can see you again!”

Buck’s eyes widened in surprise, and Eddie wondered what that was about. “How about I bring your dad home to you?”

“That’d be good—like when we had the earthquake. Thank you for taking care of Daddy after he fell. I don’t think he should ride in helicopters anymore. There was a report about the crash on the news.”

“Sorry Edmundo! You didn’t tell me his Spanish was that good!” his abuela shouted from the background, and Buck laughed even as Eddie groaned.

“Well, the good news is that it is statistically very unlikely that your dad would be in another crash. He’s certainly reached his lifetime probability on that,” Buck said, and Christopher laughed.

“Oh, good,” Christopher said. “You guys stay together—having a buddy in an emergency is helpful.”

Buck grinned. “I’ll keep a watch on him until you can take over.” He waved the blood pressure cuff at Eddie.

“Okay, Mijo, we have to go. Please be good for Abuela, and if I’m not home in the morning, then Carla will take you to school.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Christopher said cheerfully. “Love you!”

“Love you, too,” Eddie said and took a deep breath as his son hung up. He held the phone to his chest. “Thanks for that.”

“It’s no problem,” Buck said and came back to him. “Can you sit up?”

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie said and handed him the phone. He sat up abruptly and gagged.

Buck put a hand on his shoulder as he fought the desire to throw up. “Easy.”

Eddie groaned. “I’ve got some aspirin.” He reached for his bag.

Buck grabbed the bag. “Whoa, there. How many have you taken?” He put the bag on the floor and squatted down in front of him. He checked his pupils quickly, then tucked the light in his shirt pocket. “You know you shouldn’t have aspirin with a concussion, Eddie.”

“Oh.” Eddie frowned. “Yeah, I did know that. It was the only thing I had that wasn’t a narcotic. I don’t know how much I’ve taken.” He shook his head and regretted it immediately. “Everything hurts. It helped.”

“I have some Tylenol,” Buck said. “You can have some as soon as we get a read on your vitals.” He wrapped the cuff around Eddie’s arm and hooked a stethoscope into his ears.

Eddie stayed quiet while Buck took his vitals and texted the results.

“Was it high?”

“A little elevated,” Buck murmured. “Not a surprise considering the circumstances. Let’s take your shirt off. I want to see what the bruising looks like.”

Eddie eased out of the T-shirt and set it aside. Buck hissed a little and motioned him to lie down.

“Nothing feels broken or swollen.” He ran a hand down his chest and over his abs. “Just got knocked around.”

“Yeah,” Buck said and started to push gently against various organs. “I’m worried about the aspirin and the fact that you took it at all.”

“I do know better than to take a blood thinner with a concussion,” Eddie said and exhaled slowly as Buck pressed the stethoscope to his stomach, then his heart.

“Any problems breathing? Burning sensation? Sore throat?”

“No, I’m good on that front,” Eddie said.

“There’s no shower here, but you can clean up a bit if you want. I have wipes and some clothes that will probably mostly fit you,” Buck said.

“You’ve bulked up a bit,” Eddie said in amusement and poked one of his arms. “Looks good on you.”

“Do you always get flirty when you’re concussed?” Buck questioned with a laugh.

“Maybe,” Eddie admitted. “It hasn’t happened often.” He felt his face heat up. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Buck murmured. “I just don’t know if I should take it seriously or not.” He focused on Eddie’s face. “So, if you mean it—try again when you aren’t compromised.” He walked to his open bag across the room and put away the equipment. “About that sort-of bath?”

“It would be great,” Eddie said and carefully stood. He tried to unbuckle his belt, but his fingers didn’t want to cooperate.

“Let me.”

“Now, who’s flirting?” Eddie questioned as Buck efficiently unbuckled his belt and pulled it free from his pants.

Buck laughed. “I’m giving you aid here, Eds.” He shook his head. “You weren’t like this when we worked together.”

“I was new on the job and sort of married,” Eddie said roughly. “Now, I’m not new and utterly divorced.”

“Good to know,” Buck murmured. “You said Chimney was mean?”

Eddie made a face and tried to take off his pants, but they got tangled in his boots. He huffed a little and sat down. “I’m a mess.”

“Well, you’re a gorgeous mess, so it’s working out for you,” Buck said as he knelt and took off Eddie’s boots. “How’s Hen?”

“Hen works, keeps her head down, and studies a lot. She started going to medical school, and she moved to a twelve-hour shift about a month after you left. Chimney was kind of mad at her for a while. Your replacement, Mike Calhoun, was good at the job, but I didn’t like him much. We worked okay together, but I think I worked better with you. He died in the ladder truck bombing. We’ve had three guys since then.”

“I attended his funeral,” Buck said as he stood and walked away. “Stayed in the back with my team.”

Eddie nodded. “Bobby was grateful you showed up but sad that you didn’t talk to us.”

“It didn’t seem like the time,” Buck said and offered Eddie a packet of wipes. “What about Bobby?”

“He’s…less relaxed on the job,” Eddie admitted as he started to wipe his arms. “It’s hard to explain. He married Athena Grant a few months ago, so he’s personally happy, but he’s keeping us all at arm’s length now. Chimney blames you for that, but I think it’s his fault.”

“How?”

“After you left, Bobby rearranged the shift—brought in an engineer to oversee the operators for the apparatuses. Fuentes, the engineer, is second in command. Chimney ended up being third in command at the end, but he’s rarely ever given any sort of authority anymore, and he clearly hates it. He was acting captain for two shifts when Bobby was suspended because Fuentes was injured. The second shift was the bombing.

“The department came down hard on him because he didn’t let the operator of the ladder do a vehicle inspection like Fuentes had ordered at the start of the whole serial bombing thing. They were checking each vehicle when they came on shift. Chimney stopped them and gave them different tasks on both of his shifts as acting captain.

“There was even some concern that he was involved because he didn’t ride on the ladder, which is the tradition for the captains of the 118. Apparently, it’s supposed to be good luck? Regardless, he broke with tradition and rode in the captain’s car. It was bizarre and put everyone off.”

Buck nodded. “You said he was mean.”

“Cruel jokes,” Eddie said. “Ugly comments about people’s personal lives. He had a field day with my divorce and speculated about the reasons why my wife abandoned and divorced me. It was….” He huffed a little and got a new wipe to wash his face and rubbed it through his hair, too. “Hurtful, and he expected me just to forgive him and move on once it got back to Bobby that he was being outright abusive. Bobby made him apologize, and I accepted it. I also made it clear that I didn’t want to have more contact with him than required for the job.

“He was really surprised by the consequences, and Bobby is furious with him on the regular now. It’s made everything more difficult and stressful at work. Bobby asked me if I was going to transfer, and I admitted that I was. It’s why I’ve been in the SAR reserves and why I’ve gotten more certs.”

“There will be a spot on my team sometime soon,” Buck admitted, and Eddie focused on him. “Jason Williams, my partner, is moving to Washington state. He’s job hunting now. His father is ill, and he wants to be closer.” He took a deep breath. “If you want it, I think…well, I could ask my captain. Ray would take my recommendation seriously, and it’s clear you’ve been working hard to get the right certifications for it. I know we work well together.”

“We do,” Eddie said and nodded. “I would be…grateful, Buck. I wish I could say I love the 118, but some days, I dread going to work. I went out on a date last month with a guy, and it got back to the team. Chimney was a real dick about it. Asked me if I made the switch because I couldn’t keep a woman and laughed when I told him I came out as bisexual as a teenager.”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Please don’t take anything that asshole says seriously. Chimney’s a habitual liar, guilty of intimate fraud, and a disgusting womanizer. I’m really glad I kept him from dating my sister.”

“He was furious about getting the brush off from her,” Eddie admitted as he wadded up all the used wipes. Buck took them from them and went to the trash can. “Thanks. I’ve got some trash in my bag, too.”

Buck brought the can back to the cot and sat it down. The satphone went off, and Buck picked it up.

Eddie watched him walk away to have a conversation, then pulled on the sweatpants he’d been provided. They were a size bigger than he normally wore, but he tightened the waist easily enough. The LAFD T-shirt was also a little big on him, but not to the point that it looked ridiculous. The fresh socks were just a pure damn comfort. He laid back down on the cot without putting on his boots.

“Want a blanket?” Buck questioned as he came back to the cot with water and a bottle of Tylenol.

Eddie nodded. He sat up and took the meds, then shook out some pills and gave the bottle back. He drank half the bottle of water and laid back down. Shortly, Buck draped a blanket over him.

“Stay and talk to me,” Eddie said. “What was the phone call about?”

“Sae, one of the paramedics for my team, couldn’t get up the access road to retrieve us. The FBI has blocked everything off and turned her away,” Buck said. “They’re expanding the perimeter due to the fire, and now we’re officially inside of that. We’re required to stay put, and I’ve been asked to keep an eye for the shooter as covertly as possible.”

“We can’t cover any of the windows, can we?” Eddie questioned and looked around. “We’re sitting ducks for a sniper in this thing, Buck.”

“We’re so high that line of sight would require him to get pretty close, right? I mean, a bullet starts to fall after a certain point once it’s left the barrel of the gun.”

“Yeah, I’d have to do some math to figure out the range,” Eddie admitted. “We’d probably see him before he could get close enough to shoot due to the height.”

“Well, he’s not alone out there,” Buck said. “The FBI has a man on the ground hunting his ass.”

“Do you know who the shooter is?”

“That asshole that shot into the crowd in front of that gay club in Phoenix,” Buck said. “Killed six, injured five more. His body count is eight now.” He adjusted Eddie’s blanket. “It could’ve been nine.”

“I’ve lost a little time,” Eddie admitted. “I had to take it slow because of the terrain, and just…everything was already hurting. I felt like I only walked a couple of hours. Even though I knew the time and was waiting for sunrise. I didn’t know where the path was to the stairs to get up here and was worried about it.”

“It’s a steep climb. I’m glad you didn’t try,” Buck murmured.

“Chuck was a good guy,” Eddie said. “I liked him a lot—he had a terrible sense of humor and told filthy jokes.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah, he was known for it. I think they made him attend three or four sexual harassment seminars over the years, even though no one ever actually complained about him officially. Captains would just throw him at a seminar as a preventive measure, and he’d bitch for weeks because he thought dick jokes were funny as hell.”

“Tell me why you left,” Eddie said. “Was it my fault?”

“No, in fact, I almost stayed for you,” Buck said. “I didn’t like leaving you there while you were probationary. But, in the end, I had to get out for my own mental health. Chimney’s bullshit was making me miserable, and I felt like I couldn’t say anything to him about his ugly behavior because I’d gotten temporarily fired for fucking around on the job. It was like he had a license to slut-shame me.

“I complained to Bobby, and he acted like I was the problem for taking the so-called jokes so seriously. Basically, I was being silly for taking it to heart, and I should just ignore him. It was like being told to ignore the bully in junior high in the hopes that he’d go away and find another target. So, I put in for a transfer as soon as I finished my SARTECH II certification. Bobby tried to talk me out of it, but I said I wasn’t going to stay and tolerate abuse just because Chimney was team and the 118 was my supposed family. I told him that I’d already cut my toxic parents out of my life, and I was actually fucking related to them.”

Eddie nodded. “I get it.”

“I don’t think he really understood how bad it was for me, and maybe I should’ve been more explicit from the start that it was bothering me so much that I worried if I could trust Chimney on the job. Once I realized I didn’t trust him anymore, I knew I couldn’t stay. Sure, he never gave me a reason to think he’d fuck up on the job to mess with me, but the potential was there. I told Bobby that, and he finally agreed that I should transfer.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Buck questioned.

“I said I’d have your back, and I didn’t notice how bad it was. In fact, I didn’t realize how much of a problem Chimney was in relation to you until he spent several months complaining about you cockblocking him and turning your sister against him.”

“Fuck him.” Buck shrugged. “As to my sister, she was still married to an abusive husband, who came at us both and tried to kill me about two months after I left the 118. He lost his fucking mind, basically, and my sister ended up killing him in defense of us both. His family harassed the shit out of us afterward, so we moved and changed our numbers just to get some peace. By the time I got everything settled, and Maddie was in therapy, it didn’t seem like I had anything left at the 118.”

“How did he find her?”

“I talked her into filing for divorce,” Buck said and exhaled slowly. “And he came to LA—we think he must have followed her from the lawyer’s office as that was the only information he really had. He’d refused to sign the divorce papers and was insisting on mediation. Maddie wouldn’t agree to meet with him in person, so there was a video call. He lost his shit when she refused to come back to him. He broke into her apartment and attacked me with a knife about a week after that video call.”

“Jesus, Buck,” Eddie said and reached out. He put a hand on Buck’s knee. “We never heard anything about any of this.”

“Yeah, well, I worked hard to keep it private because my sister…got a little lost mentally and had to be sectioned briefly after she killed Doug. She didn’t love him anymore, but that last altercation was her limit, and she had a bit of a breakdown. She kept screaming at him that he wasn’t going to take another baby from her.”

“What….”

“Maddie basically raised me, Eddie, because my parents didn’t care about me at all. It was her and a nanny. The nanny only took care of me when Maddie was required to be somewhere. At any rate, Maddie had…Doug didn’t want children. So, he made sure that no pregnancy lasted one way or another.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eddie muttered and rolled onto his back. “I’m glad he’s dead.”

“Me, too,” Buck said. “I had a few stab wounds, but nothing life-threatening.” He took a deep breath. “So, in the middle of that, Chimney had been calling Maddie once or twice a week since I left the 118. She’d been ignoring him since she’d found out that he was an asshole to me. He showed up at the apartment while we were cleaning up—I should’ve hired someone to do that shit, in retrospect. We were on our hands and knees scrubbing up my blood, and Maddie was really upset.

“So, she opened the door, and there was the man who had basically been harassing her, and she saw red. She cursed him out and told him to never contact her again, or she’d have him charged with stalking. It’s easy to see now that she was still dealing with what had happened to us. It had only been ten days. We were still trying to figure out what meds would help her the best.”

“How is she now?”

“Great,” Buck said. “She went back to nursing and works at Cedars. She’s even dating—she met a cop over the course of the investigation. He wasn’t assigned to our case, but they hit it off after meeting in passing a few times.”

“That’s great,” Eddie said. “Are you dating anyone?”

“I dated Ali Martin for a while.”

“The girl from the earthquake? Seriously?”

“Yeah, well, it didn’t last long because she couldn’t deal with the job and the hours. I have to give a lot of time to it on and off duty. So that ended a few months ago,” Buck said and shrugged. “She knew what I did for a living when we met, but the reality wasn’t something she could deal with. What about the guy you went out with? Any potential there?”

“No, he hates kids,” Eddie said and made a face. “Deal breaker.”

“You can’t trust someone who hates kids,” Buck agreed and nodded. “They’re fundamentally flawed.” Eddie laughed. “Get some sleep. I’ll stand watch.”

“Be careful; look for glints off glass. His scope will reflect light from the sun,” Eddie said. “Does he have training?”

“Former military and police,” Buck said.

“Don’t stay in the same place when you’re visible,” Eddie said. “He’s proven he has no problem hitting a moving target, but there’s no need to make it easy for him. Stay down as much as possible, though.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Buck cleared his throat. “Let’s hope he’s too focused on evading the guy hunting him to bother with us.”

Chapter 3

The fire was butting up against the firebreak, which was holding with a few isolated spots of burning grass. Buck put down the binoculars and slouched down in the chair next to the cot, far enough that his head wasn’t visible in the window. Hiding from a sniper was probably one of the weirdest work circumstances he’d ever been in. He focused on Eddie, who was awake and staring at him.

“You okay?”

“Head hurts,” Eddie murmured. “Thanks for being here.”

“I asked for the closest lookout to the crash,” Buck said, and Eddie’s eyes widened with shock. “So, if you were mobile, I’d probably be the one to find you.”

“Why?”

Buck started to shrug off the question. “By the time I left the 118, you were the only one I was going to actually miss, and that says something since we only worked together for ten shifts.”

“That’s 240 hours,” Eddie said. “Some people get married having spent less time together.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah, true.”

“You don’t miss Bobby?” Eddie asked. “You two appeared close.”

“We…were,” Buck agreed with a nod and swallowed hard. “But it’s hard to overlook the fact that he didn’t have my back when I was in a very vulnerable place mentally. Maybe that was a bit of toxic masculinity on his part, and it seems like he didn’t learn a lesson about Chimney’s bullying until it destroyed your desire to work at the 118, too.”

“Granted,” Eddie said roughly. “I can tell he’s angry with himself over the whole situation, and Chimney is just sullen like a fucking toddler in timeout. It’s like that man can’t be happy unless he’s picking at someone else’s open wound. For someone with low emotional intelligence, Chim is very good at finding and exploiting a person’s vulnerable spots. I had a lot of issues around my wife abandoning me and Christopher in the middle of the night, and it was tied up with the fact that I’d been shot three times in the line of duty. I could barely walk when she bailed on me and our four-year-old.”

Buck grimaced. “I don’t get that at all. I think being a parent is the ultimate responsibility, and if you can’t be all-in on it, then you just shouldn’t do it.”

“I agree,” Eddie said quietly. “I always thought I’d have several kids, but it was clear that Shannon hated being a mother. It stifled her, and it didn’t help that I was deployed.”

“Love requires sacrifices,” Buck said simply. “And her personal disappointment should’ve taken a back seat to her family. I’m sorry she was so selfish. You both deserved better.”

“Maybe I was a terrible husband.”

“That wouldn’t explain the abandonment of her own child,” Buck said. “Maybe I’m the wrong person to talk about this because I loathe my own mother—emotional neglect and physical abuse were the highlights of my childhood. I can’t remember a week in my life before I basically ran away where she didn’t slap me at least once or twice. I left the day after I graduated high school. She was a pill addict, so I’d been stealing money from her for years at that point, and she never noticed. So, I had plenty of money to escape with, and I don’t regret any of it.”

“You shouldn’t,” Eddie said. “I hate her, and I’ve never met her. Was your father just as bad?”

“Absent, cold, and free with a hand,” Buck said and tried to shrug. “The last time he hit me, I was sixteen. I hit him back.” He cleared his throat when Eddie’s widened. “I could’ve never hit my mother, but he backhanded me one day because I hadn’t cut the grass on his schedule. I sucker-punched him. He was shocked, but he backed off because I was bigger than him—taller and certainly more fit. I was already deadlifting 200 pounds at that point.

“Looking back on it, I feel sick to know he brought that out of me. I’d never even been in a fight at school. I just don’t think violence is an answer. I’m willing to defend myself and others, but it’s hard for me.”

“There’s no shame in that,” Eddie said. “I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, it took a while,” Buck admitted and cleared his throat again. “But he never hit me again. The verbal abuse from him increased to the point of homophobic. He’d figured out I was bisexual, and his disgust was oppressive. Both of my parents are religious and prudish to the point of abusing others for their behavior. They don’t hesitate to slut-shame anyone, even strangers, if they find their actions inappropriate. My mother screamed at my sister the day before her wedding and called her a whore because she’d found out that Maddie had been sleeping with Doug for over a year.”

“Wow,” Eddie muttered. “I never want to meet either one of those motherfuckers.”

Buck laughed. “Your parents are no picnic either, right?”

“They think I’m a horrible father, and they’d sue for custody if they had a single thing to hold against me. I haven’t spoken to them in a while because of it. I think they’d have probably lied in court and accused me of abuse if my abuela hadn’t come down on them both like a ton of bricks. Anyways, I have a fuck-you file.”

“A what?”

“A collection of evidence to use against them—emails, texts, and even a recording from a FaceTime call where my mother engaged in an outrageous amount of parental alienation. It happened while I was on shift, and my sister recorded it from their end with her phone. They’ve not been allowed to contact Christopher since and if I ever allow it again, it’ll be with my direct supervision.”

“Parental alienation is child abuse in California.”

“Yeah, it is, and I told them that.” Eddie grimaced. “They were furious with Sophia, but she recorded that whole interaction with their permission because they thought she was gathering evidence for them. They were hoping to get Christopher to admit that he was unhappy and that I didn’t treat him right.

“Meanwhile, Christopher spent the whole call telling them about the fun stuff we do and how I only allow him to have a cup of Froot Loops for breakfast, and he thinks he should be allowed a cup and a half.”

Buck laughed. “Well, he’s a growing boy.”

“He’s a growing boy who’d be bouncing off the fucking walls with all that sugar,” Eddie muttered. “He only gets them on Saturday morning.” He paused. “Maybe he can have extra next time.”

“Yeah.”

“As a one-time treat,” Eddie clarified, and Buck laughed. “I have missed you, and not just because the job is no fun without you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, honestly. I should’ve reached out. It just got awkward after a while.” Buck wondered how honest he could be. “My team is good. We’re solid, but my current partner doesn’t quite fit. We do the job, but even after almost a year together, he can’t read me and sometimes makes assumptions about what I intend to do. It’s led to a few situations that were dangerous, but we managed in the end. I felt like you and I had a synergy from practically the start, and after our third shift, I didn’t even have to look at you to know what you’d be doing.”

“Yeah, same,” Eddie murmured. “I felt like I should’ve invested a little more time outside of work to cultivate a friendship. Then maybe you wouldn’t have just disappeared on me.”

Buck averted his gaze. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Eddie said. “You had some serious shit to deal with, and I’m sorry it was just you and your sister dealing with it. It was clear from what you said that there was no one else really helping you.”

“Lou, the cop my sister is dating, helped a lot afterward. He kept his distance while the case was open for obvious reasons. Lou really invested himself in helping us and worked with us to file restraining orders against Doug’s parents. But, yeah, I could’ve used a friend who was focused on me since I was giving all of my energy to Maddie.”

“She’s doing okay now?” Eddie questioned. “For real?”

“She has her moments—but yeah, she’s getting better by the day. Lou is patient as hell with her, and honestly, he’s so all-in on her that it’s kind of hard to look at sometimes. I think he’d move mountains for her, and that’s exactly what she needs—a strong, honest, and steadfast man who doesn’t hesitate to help. He also doesn’t accept excuses when it comes to bad mental health habits. Which is good because Maddie had some bias around therapy and psychological help that I had to basically deprogram out of her. Our parents disdain that kind of thing.”

“Mine, too,” Eddie admitted. “When my father found out I was in therapy for my PTSD, he called me a pussy.”

“Wow.”

“So, I asked him how he felt about the last time he killed another human being.” Eddie rolled over onto his back. “Of course, he never served and has never killed anyone. He was kind of taken aback by the fact that I had, in fact, killed. I don’t know what he thought my military service was like or what I did to earn that Silver Star. But they don’t hand those things out for being injured.”

“Uncommon valor and gallantry in action,” Buck murmured, and Eddie glanced toward him, clearly shocked. “I looked it up after our first shift. The way that you handled that grenade made me curious. You gotta be a badass to be awarded the third-highest combat decoration available.”

“I didn’t feel like a badass,” Eddie admitted and refocused his gaze on the ceiling. “I felt destroyed, and…it took me over a year to put myself back together mentally and physically. Having my father insulting me and questioning my manhood during all of that didn’t fucking help. I bailed on El Paso as soon as I was comfortable driving for longer than an hour. Neither of them have forgiven me for that, either. They told me I didn’t have any right to take Christopher so far away from them and that they were more his parents than I ever was because I’d been overseas most of his life.”

“Gross,” Buck muttered.

“Right?” Eddie said with a huff. “So, I barely speak to them these days, and only when they have the nerve to call me, which isn’t often because sometime during the middle of all of that, my give-a-fuck got completely destroyed. I’m explicitly, insultingly honest with them every single time they come at me.” He grimaced. “You’re too easy to talk to. Maybe that’s why I didn’t spend any time with you outside of work.”

Buck laughed. “Shut up.”

“But also, I never really got to thank you properly for introducing me to Carla. She saves my life on the daily, Buck. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without her. Christopher adores her, and I’m considering asking her to adopt me.” Eddie grinned when Buck laughed. “I mean, she’s already married, so adoption had to go on the table.”

“Well, if I could pick anyone to be my legal family, she’d certainly be on the list,” Buck admitted. “You’re easy to talk to, as well. Which was annoying from the start since I’d already learned to keep my mouth shut about my personal life at the station.”

“Why is Chimney like this? And why did so many people put with it?”

“There’s gotta be a deep reason for his inferiority complex that I’m unaware of. I know his father basically abandoned him, and his mother died. Maybe it’s all about that. When he was first on the job, he got hired to work at the 118, and his captain was a racist, sexist, and homophobic bag of dicks. There was a lot of mistreatment early on, and Hen got some of that shit, too, when she was hired. Eventually, there were enough complaints that the captain was replaced multiple times before Bobby was hired.”

“So, he got bullied and now he gets a pass to lash out at everyone that makes him feel bad about himself?” Eddie asked, clearly appalled.

“That’s certainly what it looked like to me,” Buck said. “He used to lie and tell his girlfriend that he did the rescues that I did. He’s not even qualified for heavy rescue, Eddie. He never bothered to get any of the certs for it and really couldn’t since he’s a paramedic, and that takes up a lot of his time. A light brigade just isn’t structured in a way that is conducive to that kind of educational path for a firefighter paramedic. And he certainly isn’t going to invest his own free time into it.”

“He volunteers for that shit all the time, and Bobby basically ignores him,” Eddie said. “Now, I know why. I’m pissed. If that asshole had ever been on the ropes with me…I’d be filing a fucking complaint.”

“I’ll talk to Ray the first chance I get,” Buck said quietly, and Eddie nodded. “Jason will speed up his job search if he knows there’s already a replacement lined up. He’d never leave the team short-staffed, so I think he’s been taking it slow. But he goes up to see his father every single chance he gets.”

“I wish I cared that much about my old man,” Eddie admitted and flushed.

“I know how you feel.”

* * * *

Eddie woke to a weird noise. His headache wasn’t as bad, so that was a relief. He stilled as he heard the noise more clearly. Someone was on the tower with them. There were two thumps, and he turned his head just enough to see a man walking along the balcony toward the door. He reached out for Buck, who was dozing in the chair as the man stopped in front of the door.

It was flimsy and would be no kind of obstacle. So, even if they weren’t basically in a glass box, they were about to be in a world of trouble. Buck woke under his hand, and his gaze met Eddie’s. He jerked his head toward the door, and Buck took in a ragged breath as the man used the butt of his rifle to break the lock.

Buck sprung up, dragged Eddie off the cot, and backed them both up across the room until they hit the windows on the wall opposite the door. The man just stared as he kicked the door shut. He looped his rifle over his body and pulled out a handgun, then he coughed. It was a deep, chest-rattling sound that they both knew well enough. The guy was suffering from smoke inhalation.

“You, the one in the uniform,” Easton said roughly and motioned toward the open paramedic bag. “My throat is killing me, and I feel like I’m breathing glass. How can you help me?”

“I can’t,” Buck said frankly. “You need oxygen at the minimum, and we don’t have it. You breathed in too much smoke—it’ll take days to recover if you rest and drink plenty of fluids and get some oxygen treatments.”

Easton’s gaze narrowed. “Is that why you retrieved your friend in a mask?”

“Yes,” Buck said. “We’re both firefighters.”

“Figured,” Easton said. “I have a headache. Anything for that?”

“Tylenol,” Buck said. “We have some other drugs for serious injuries, but they’d leave you incapacitated, which I assume is the last thing you want.”

“You’d assume right,” Easton muttered. “Aspirin?”

“Sure,” Buck said. “It’s in that small blue bag on top. There is water in the cooler.”

“Don’t move.”

“Yes, sir,” Buck responded and pressed his shoulder against Eddie’s chest.

“Your friend can’t talk?”

“He has a concussion from the helicopter crash—he’s disoriented and might have a TBI,” Buck said.

“Right,” Easton muttered as he grabbed the bag. “What else is in this bag?”

“Morphine, fentanyl, epinephrine, Midazolam, and Diazepam.”

“Where’s your vehicle?”

“I don’t have one here,” Buck said. “I came on a helicopter and replaced the volunteer who was manning the lookout. He left in his truck last night. My boss tried to send me a vehicle with a co-worker, but the FBI has the access roads blocked off, and she couldn’t get here.”

“Saw the helo,” Easton admitted. “Stayed out of my range—smart pilot. Can’t take any risks, it might have been the feds. It’s why I took down the other one.” He glanced toward Eddie. “Didn’t know it was medical transport until it was already on the ground. Are you the only survivor?”

“Yes,” Eddie said, and his fingers curled into the back of Buck’s shirt.

“You two fags?” Easton asked and squinted at them. “You look it, huddled up together like that.”

“It’s SOP to protect your victim, even with your own body, if necessary,” Buck said. “I’m responsible for his life until I’m relieved by other first responders or medical personnel.”

“Honorable,” Easton grunted. “What about the other one. Is he a fag?”

“I’m a firefighter,” Eddie responded. “A father. And a veteran of the United States Army.”

“Regiment?”

“1^st Battalion, 17^th Infantry Regiment.”

“3^rd BCT?” The man questioned.

“4^th,” Eddie corrected.

“Sorry about the helo,” the man said roughly. “Thought it was the feds, as I said.”

“The pilot was a veteran of Desert Storm,” Eddie said. “Two kids, five grandkids, and he’d just celebrated his 40^th wedding anniversary.”

“And the other guy?”

“Hiker, he fell while he was bouldering,” Eddie said. “Twenty-eight years old, and he’d recently married.”

“Your kids?”

“Just one—he’s eight,” Eddie said. “My wife fucked off to find herself. I’m all he’s got.”

Easton nodded. “I don’t got beef with either of you. I just need a way out of this mess.” He waved the gun, and Buck flinched. “It’s all I wanted from the start—a way out.”

“You shot and killed people to get out?” Buck asked in confusion and exhaled. “Sorry, I get stupid with questions when I’m in stressful situations. My captain wants to talk to my elementary school teachers about the fact that they didn’t teach me to shut up and pay attention.”

“You clearly never served,” Easton muttered. “I shot those animals, sure. They needed it—living the way they do. I put them out of their misery. No one really wants to be fucking abnormal like that, kid. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Everyone wants to conform, to fit in. If they don’t, then they’re fucked up in the head and need to be removed from society.” He waved the gun. “I did those creatures a fucking favor.”

“They had parents,” Eddie said quietly. “People who loved them—murder might be the end for the victim, but it can create dozens of tertiary victims that will mourn the loss of their loved ones for a lifetime.”

“You’ve killed. I see it on your face.”

“In combat, yes, and I live with it. I have nightmares about it,” Eddie said.

“I never did,” Easton admitted. “Killed dozens of terrorists over the years and so-called innocent civilians, too. I didn’t care who they were or what they were doing. If they crossed paths with my gun—I fucking killed them. I loved it. I was cleansing the world, making it a better place. Then I came home to an empty house and a son who moved across the country to avoid me.”

Buck couldn’t blame the man’s son at all for that, but thankfully, he kept those words behind his teeth.

Easton picked up the satphone. “Call someone.” He offered the phone.

“Who?” Buck questioned.

“Someone that can get you a vehicle. Tell them they’ve got an hour, or I’m going to kill you both.”

Buck hesitated briefly but then walked across the room. He took the satphone and backed up to where Eddie was. Easton just rolled his eyes at him.

He called his captain and put it on speaker to avoid any hostility.

“Buck, how are you guys doing?”

“We have a guest, Captain Gaines,” Buck said. “And he’d like a vehicle. If he doesn’t get it—he’s going to kill us. You have an hour.”

“I can have a helicopter there in fifteen minutes.”

Easton shook his head.

“I think he wants something he can drive himself,” Buck said, and Easton nodded.

“I don’t think the FBI is going to let me do that. I can get around them with the helicopter, but they’ve blockaded the road.”

“How about I kill one of them right now so you know I’m serious, Captain Gaines?” Easton questioned.

“Sir, I do not doubt your seriousness in any single way. But if you want out of this alive and free of the FBI, then allowing me to retrieve you personally via helicopter is the best way to accomplish your mission. I will take you to the location of your choosing without argument as long as you don’t harm my firefighters.” Gaines took a deep breath. “I give you my word—I’ll take you anywhere within a 300-mile radius of your current position if you get on my helicopter.”

“Come alone, and if I see a single thing out of place—you’ll die along with these two. Understood?”

“I understand perfectly,” Gaines said immediately.

“Hang up,” Easton ordered.

Buck hung up.

“Put it down, and don’t go near it again unless I say so.”

Buck tossed the satphone on the sofa.

“You’d better hope your captain is a man of his word,” Easton said.

“Ray Gaines is the best man I’ve ever known,” Buck said frankly. “He’s strong, determined, honest, faithful to the job and to his family in equal measure, never gives less than a hundred percent to any task he sets for himself, and you can take his word as the goddamned gospel.”

Easton stared for a moment. “It must be nice.”

“What?” Buck questioned.

“It must be nice to have someone you can depend on like that in your life.” The man grimaced. “I haven’t had that kind of brotherhood since I got discharged. They said I had PTSD and was too violent to serve anymore.” He focused on Eddie. “Why did you get out?”

“Got shot three times and lost a kidney,” Eddie said. “They tossed me out on my ass—involuntary severance—the moment I stopped being useful.” He paused. “They threw that PTSD shit at me, too.”

Easton grunted. “The fucking desk jockeys, who make the rules, never even get their feet wet.” He paused. “Did you?”

“I couldn’t give you an accurate number of combat kills if you paid me,” Eddie said evenly.

“That’s good, son,” Easton said. “Those fuckers deserved that and more.” He waved the gun and coughed at the same time. Buck’s stomach clenched with anxiety. “Relax, boy, I’ve never had an accidental discharge of my weapon in my entire life. What are those tanks?” He motioned to the SBCA bottles. “I thought you said you didn’t have any oxygen.”

“They’re part of a breathing system,” Eddie said when Buck hesitated. “Firefighters use them to provide breathable air, but it’s just compressed air, not the pure oxygen you’d need to treat smoke inhalation. And they’re also practically empty from our walk earlier.”

“Why just air?” Easton asked with a frown.

“Because wearing pure oxygen on our backs would be like wearing a bomb,” Buck said huffily. “In a fire.”

“It would explode?”

“Maybe, but even if it didn’t, oxygen feeds a fire, and if it’s already out of control and the tank leaks or there is a breach….” Buck trailed off and shrugged. “It’d be an unnecessary risk.”

“Get me a bottle of water,” Easton ordered as he opened the bag and rummaged through it. “Don’t get brave.” He paused. “Or more stupid, in your case.”

Buck retrieved a bottle of water, opened it, and put it down on the table before returning to Eddie. “We’re not going to do anything stupid. He’s got a kid to go home to.”

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy,” Eddie said quietly.

“Hope he turns out normal,” Easton muttered. “That sorry fucker my wife told me was my son turned out to be a little fag. If I knew where he was, I’d go beat that shit out of him. Maybe it’s my own fault for not being home enough. His mother let him do whatever he wanted.” He waved the gun.

Glass shattered; he dropped the gun as he looked down at his chest, where blood was blooming across his filthy T-shirt. Eddie jerked Buck to the floor.

“Son of a bitch,” Easton muttered as he sank to his knees and fell flat on his face.

Chapter 4

“There’s nothing we can do,” Eddie said.

Buck stopped rummaging through his bag. “What?”

“His heart is…there’s too much damage,” Eddie said and closed Easton’s eyes. He pulled off his gloves. “We shouldn’t disturb the body any more than we have. It’s a crime scene now.”

“Was turning him over a mistake?”

“We had to make sure he was actually dead,” Eddie said and stood. “But we should back off now.” He dropped the gloves on the floor by the body. “Leave everything like it is.”

Buck stood and pulled off his own gloves. He dropped them with Eddie’s and did his best not to step in any of the blood as he moved away from the body. He went to the satphone, and it started ringing in his hand, which almost made him drop it. It was his captain.

“Ray, he’s…been shot.”

“We know, kid. The guy tracking him caught up with him just before he broke into the lookout. But the two of you backed yourselves right up to the wall and stayed there in his line of sight—he had to move to get another shot.”

“Sorry.”

“You had no way of knowing,” Ray said. “Agent Edgerton will be there shortly to take control of the scene. How is Diaz?”

“Better than he was, but he still has a headache,” Buck said with a glance toward Eddie, who was rubbing his forehead with two fingers and frowning. “Definitely bring an ambulance for him.” He paused. “And a coroner for the dead guy, I guess.”

Ray exhaled sharply. “The FBI is rolling out. We’ll be right behind them.”

“Okay.” Buck tucked the phone into his pocket after his captain hung up. “We should clear out our personal stuff so it doesn’t end up in evidence.”

Eddie put on his boots, grabbed his bag, and followed Buck across the room. A tap on the glass caught their attention, and they both turned to find a man standing out on the balcony by the door. He walked to the broken window and looked at the body, then nodded.

“I’m Ian Edgerton,” the man said. “FBI Fugitive Apprehension Unit.”

“Edgerton?” Eddie questioned.

“You know him?” Buck asked.

“Former Army, right?” Eddie questioned, and Edgerton nodded. “He’s one of the highest-ranked snipers in the world, Buck.”

“Number one, actually,” Edgerton said wryly. “Thanks for picking a spot and staying in it as much as possible. It made my job easier.” He looked at Easton. “He got stupid.”

“He had smoke inhalation,” Buck said, and the agent focused on him. “And was probably suffering an oxygen debt, and that might have clouded his thinking a bit. Considering he didn’t even try to take cover in this big ass glass box. He had to know you were hunting him.”

“Not me, specifically, but yeah, he knew. It’s why he started the fire. I got an evac and was put back down on this side of the firebreak.” He paused. “Cool thing you guys do with that. You two come out here and wait for everyone to arrive.” He walked away, pulling out a satphone of his own.

Buck took Eddie’s bag from him, shoved it into his own, and shouldered it. “Come on.”

* * * *

“You tried to save him?”

Buck shrugged. “We quickly realized there was nothing to be done for him, but we turned him over to check vitals.”

The FBI agent squinted at him. “He took a .50 caliber round to the heart.”

“Well, how was I to know the caliber of the bullet?” Buck questioned. “And besides, we once pulled a guy out of an eighteen-wheeler with a piece of copper pipe straight through his heart. He lived. His wife sent us muffins from this great organic bakery. I try to go there once a month now.”

Bobby Nash laughed under his breath from Buck’s left.

Ray Gaines, on his right, cleared his throat. “Agent Eppes, if you’re finished with my firefighter?”

Eppes shook his head. “I just…don’t…he was threatening to kill you.”

“Yeah, he was a homicidal piece of shit,” Buck said and glanced toward the ambulance where Eddie appeared to be arguing with Hen Wilson. He, on the other hand, was tucked between two captains like he was going to need some kind of actual extraction. It was a little worrisome. “But we’re not.”

“What?”

“We’re not pieces of shit,” Buck said simply. “So, we help everyone—no matter who they are or what they’ve done. We don’t decide who lives and dies, Agent Eppes. That’s someone else’s job, and I don’t envy them.”

Eppes stared for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Okay, Mr. Buckley, you can go. You’ll have to give a formal statement. Please refrain from discussing the event with Mr. Diaz until after you’ve both given statements.”

“Yeah, okay.” Buck took that for dismissal and trotted toward the ambulance before anyone else could say anything. He put Eddie’s orange bag on the gurney. “Missing this?”

Eddie frowned at Hen and took the bag. “Thanks.”

“I cleaned out the trash,” Buck said in amusement and turned to Hen. “Hey.”

She glomped onto him and hugged him so tight his breath caught a little. “Buckaroo, I’ve missed you like crazy!”

He hugged her back with a laugh. “It’s good to see you, Hen. Where are you taking him?”

“He says he doesn’t need a hospital.”

Buck shook his head. “He needs a hospital and an MRI.”

“I do not,” Eddie protested.

“Eddie, how long has it been since Easton was shot?” Buck questioned.

“About thirty minutes,” Eddie said, and Hen groaned.

“It’s been two hours, bud,” Buck said. “Now get in the ambulance and let them take you to the hospital. Despite the fact that you are bizarrely coherent at times and chatty, you are clearly concussed, plus you got thrown up against a giant ass tree at several hundred miles an hour in a flimsy metal box just twenty-three hours ago.”

“It’s been that long?” Eddie questioned with a frown that should not have been adorable.

“Oh baby,” Hen said gently. “Get in the ambulance right now.” She paused as he did as instructed. “On the gurney.”

“Come on, Hen,” Eddie complained but did as he was told with a little huff when Buck just shook his head. “My head hurts.” He clutched his bag to his chest.

“I’m sure it does, considering that knot on the side,” Hen said tartly and turned to Buck. “We’ll take him to county since that’s the closest to his grandmother and what he normally wants. He told me that you promised to take him home to Christopher several times.”

“Yeah,” Buck said. “It helped calm the kid down.”

“You’re a good man,” Hen said warmly.

Buck ignored the way his face was getting hot and looked at Eddie. “Let him keep the bag. It’ll upset him a lot if it’s taken from him. Also, he admitted to taking aspirin before I found him. I can’t say how many doses he took, but it’s something to tell the doctors. He’s coherent and reasonable when he has a task to focus on. If he doesn’t then he sort of meanders mentally, plus he’s clearly having gaps in his short-term memory.”

“I’ll take good care of him.” She patted his arm. “Text me and tell me about all the stuff you’re doing now.” She got into the ambulance and pulled the doors shut.

Ray Gaines came to stand beside him as the ambulance pulled away. He nudged Buck gently with his shoulder. Then he did it again when Buck didn’t speak.

“Keep your big arm to yourself,” Buck muttered, and Ray laughed.

“Captain Nash tells me that Diaz is looking for a change and has all of his certs for SAR.”

“Yeah, we talked about it.”

“You want him?” Ray questioned.

Like hell on fire, but Buck was certain that Ray didn’t mean it that way. Still, he wasn’t above messing with the man. “Well, he’s a five-alarm fire, so I wouldn’t say no.”

Ray laughed. “You know what I mean.”

“I think he’d be a good fit. He’s a team player and doesn’t grandstand. We worked great together.”

“Nash said as much,” Ray said. “He said the two of you were dynamic and had great chemistry on the job. And as much you and Jason have tried—you don’t have that kind of vibe.” He checked his watch. “Speaking of Jason, I’m supposed to give him an update once you are out of this situation. He wanted to get on a plane and come back, but I told him to stay with his dad.”

“I’ll text him once I get somewhere with a signal,” Buck said. “I think we need to put cell signal boosters on these lookout towers or something. They already have a radio tower, so it wouldn’t be a big deal to add a booster, right?”

“Might be expensive, but it would certainly be helpful for us and park visitors,” Ray said thoughtfully. “And it’s federal land, so that’d be a decision above our pay grade. We’ve been given permission to leave. Did you want to ride with me and Nash or with Sae?”

“Sae,” Buck said immediately. “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth for Bobby right now.”

“Okay,” Ray said easily.

“Gah, I can feel the judgment rolling off of you,” Buck muttered.

“I’m not judging you,” Ray protested. “You’ve had a very stressful twenty-four hours, and you’re entitled to space. That being said, the man wasn’t just worried about Eddie Diaz in all of this. It’s clear he misses you, and moreover, I think he suggested Diaz to me so that he’d know who has your back on the job. He cares about you.”

“He does,” Buck agreed. “I let my disappointment in him get the best of me, Ray. I know that, but I can’t deal with that right now. Tell him that I’ll call him next week.” He glanced toward the USAR and grimaced as he noticed that Chimney was talking to Sae. “Gross, why wasn’t he in the ambo that left?”

“Nash put his second in command, Cosmo Fuentes, in charge of Diaz’s transport,” Rey said. “Apparently, he didn’t want to make Diaz uncomfortable.”

“Chim and Eddie don’t get along at all,” Buck said. “And yeah, he’d probably be more comfortable right now without the emotional terrorist, who’s made his life awful at work for months, in his face.”

“Nash said he learned a hard lesson on that subject.”

Buck wished it had come sooner, but he wouldn’t trade his current life for the old one for any reason. He loved his work and trusted every member of his team. “I guess I’ll go rescue Sae from that jackhole.”

“Looks like Nash already did,” Ray said. “You can go once you get back to the airfield, and you’re off for at least the next two shifts. Make an appointment with your therapist. I won’t make it a requirement to return to work unless you have some issues with processing this, but you did get held at gunpoint today.”

“Yeah, I’ll get a handle on it,” Buck promised and headed for Sae, who was leaning on the front of a U350 with her arms crossed.

As soon as she saw him coming, she quickly got in the driver’s seat and started the truck. Sae offered him a grin as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“I was hoping you’d ride with me,” Sae said. “How are you?”

“Tired, stressed out, and fundamentally uncomfortable. I realize it was justified, but watching someone get shot in front of me wasn’t pleasant in the least,” Buck blurted out, and she nodded. “Plus, the FBI guy asked me why we tried to render aid, and that was weird.”

“You were in a traumatic situation. No one would’ve blamed you if you hadn’t gone to check on him,” Sae said. “I heard Easton took a heart wound.”

“Yeah, that sniper guy from the FBI is hardcore.”

“And gorgeous,” Sae said with a grin. “I got his number.”

Buck laughed and offered her his fist, which she bumped cheerfully. “Sorry for not noticing that Chimney was all up in your business.”

She made a face as she maneuvered her way through the vehicles parked in the small area at the base of the access path that led to the lookout. “He asked me out and was kind of offended when I told him I didn’t date men old enough to be my father.”

“That Edgerton guy has to be around the same age.”

“I’m not gonna date him,” Sae pointed out wryly, and Buck grinned. “He travels the whole country and lives in Virginia. I’m putting that gorgeous dude on my fuck buddy list.”

“Does he know that?” Buck questioned.

“Yeah, I asked him if he had a place to spend the night, and he said he hadn’t gotten a room yet.” She shrugged. “So, I offered up my bed and my fine self, and he said yes before I even got all the words out of my mouth.”

“Have fun.” Buck slouched back in the seat and shook his head when she wiggled her eyebrows and offered him a little smirk. “I think Eddie Diaz is going to join our team.”

“Great. Hen said he’s awesome,” Sae said. “We had some time to chat while we waited. She’s going to medical school, but I don’t think she actually wants it. She just wants something different than what she has. I know that feeling.”

Buck nodded. “She would make a great doctor if that’s what she wants to do.”

“You don’t discuss your old team much,” Sae said. “I know things got hard near the end, but was it wise to paint them all with the Chimney Han brush?”

“It was hard to ignore how no one called him out for his behavior, Sae,” Buck said quietly. “Some of them get a pass, sure, because of his authority and lack of witnessing it. But he actively slut-shamed me in front of Hen Wilson and Bobby Nash on the regular. Neither of them seemed to have a problem with the jokes and sometimes even laughed. I was just supposed to suck it up.”

“Hen doesn’t know why you left,” Sae said. “At least she didn’t appear to have a clue about any of it when she brought it up. She said she missed you and was disappointed that you never responded to her texts. Then it got around that you’d changed your number, and Captain Nash suggested they just all back off and give you the space you clearly wanted from them.”

Buck pursed his lips and blew air out noisily. “The lack of self-awareness is actually awe-inspiring.”

Sae laughed.

“I’m serious.”

“I know, and I agree. Still, we can’t expect change if we don’t tell people when things go wrong.” She knocked against his shoulder with her fist. “And I know you know that. I get it—you got tired of trying to be seen for who you are and moved on. I think you made the best choice you could for yourself on the mental health front, but maybe you were a little hasty on removing them all from your life entirely.”

“Maybe,” Buck said. “But I’m never going back to the 118.”

“Of course not,” Sae said. “You’re stuck with us, Buck. Thomas and I would have to follow you, and that’d make Ray really sad. Plus, we’d have to make room for ourselves over there, and I don’t have time to hide a body or three. I’ve got an FBI agent to bang.”

Buck laughed, though he knew he shouldn’t. Sae had a dark sense of humor and prided herself on saying outrageous shit that would make people spit whatever they were drinking all over themselves. He closed his eyes; he could use a bit of rest, and it was an hour or more before they’d reach the airfield.

* * * *

Eddie copied and pasted the message he’d created for Christopher to a note file and saved it before deleting it from his drafts. He didn’t want to send it accidentally and upset his abuela. Then he sent her a text telling her he was in the hospital and would be home as soon as he was released. Bobby had shown up after he’d gotten back from the MRI, so his captain was sitting in a chair beside his bed.

They’d given him some pain meds, so it was kind of hard to concentrate. He wasn’t entirely sure if it was just the drugs or a mixture of drugs and the headache he still had, or the concussion itself.

“I don’t have Buck’s cellphone number.” He frowned at his phone. “He said he’d take me home to Christopher.”

“Then he will certainly show up here to do just that,” Bobby assured. “Buck’s a man of his word.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. He focused on Bobby. “I’ve said that before, right?”

“Fourth time,” Bobby said in amusement. “Reoccurring short-term memory loss isn’t a rare symptom of a concussion. We’re waiting on the results from the MRI. Your ultrasound showed no issues.”

“The guy was shot, right?” Eddie questioned.

“Yes.”

Eddie nodded. “I keep forgetting that.”

Bobby hummed under his breath.

“What?”

“You keep forgetting a man was shot in front of you but haven’t forgotten that Buck promised to take you home,” Bobby said in amusement.

“It’s important,” Eddie said huffily and stared at his phone. “I don’t have Buck’s number.” He frowned. “I just said that.”

“Yeah, so remembering that you did is an improvement.”

“They stuck me an MRI. I didn’t need that for a concussion.”

“You were in a helicopter crash, Eddie. Checking for a TBI was necessary, considering. They might order a CT scan, too.”

Eddie huffed, and the door opened. A doctor entered. He was sure he’d already met the man but didn’t remember his name. “I don’t need a CT scan.”

The doctor smiled. “Well, you probably didn’t need an MRI either, but you hit a tree with your whole body, and we just wanted to get a good look.”

“The helicopter took the brunt,” Eddie muttered sullenly and put his phone on the tray table when they both laughed. “My headache is better, but still not great.”

“Beyond some bruising and a few cognitive issues that should clear up in the next week or so, you’re in surprisingly good health for a man in your circumstances,” the doctor said. “We’d like to observe you for another few hours then you’ll be released. You shouldn’t be alone, of course. Do you have another adult to stay with you for the next few days?”

“I’ll stay with my abuela,” Eddie said. “She’ll insist.”

“Good. See your GP for a follow-up and report any ongoing issues. Don’t hesitate to get a referral to a neurologist if your memory issues persist. The FBI is here and would like to get a statement from you. I’ve cautioned them that it would be…unlikely that you’d be able to give a completely reliable statement due to the concussion.”

“It’s fine. I’d rather get it over with, and I don’t want them showing up at my abuela’s house,” Eddie said, and he turned toward Bobby. “You should stay. I don’t think I’m generally competent at this point.”

“Of course,” Bobby assured.

“Call for your nurse if you need anything,” the doctor said and checked his watch. “We’re looking at around 7:00 PM on discharge, so be sure to have a driver. I don’t suggest you take a ride-share in your condition.”

“We’ll take care of him, Dr. Aguirre,” Bobby said. He put aside his phone as the doctor nodded and left. “Buck looked good, happy.”

“He loves the new job,” Eddie said and winced when Bobby exhaled sharply. “He has a great team that he trusts, so that’s good.”

“It is, yes.” Bobby nodded. “Captain Gaines has the best reputation in SAR. I knew he’d take care of Buck and that he needed someone rock solid after I messed it up so thoroughly.”

“I don’t get it,” Eddie said quietly.

“Get what?” Bobby asked in confusion.

“Why you consistently, without fail, chose Howard Han over Buck. It was clear from my very first day that Buck was like a son to you. So, I don’t fucking get it, Bobby, and I’ve never been able to say this to you. It seemed like it wouldn’t do any good. You betrayed Buck—left him twisting in the wind until he had no choice but to transfer. When I first met him, he was so anxious about being replaced at the 118 that I worried he might vibrate out of his skin.”

Eddie huffed when Bobby stared at him in wounded shock. “So, I just don’t get it, and you don’t have to explain. It’s clear it never even crossed your mind to see it that way. But you need to figure it out for yourself, at the very least. Because I feel like you broke Buck’s heart, and that makes me more furious than anything I’ve gone through at the station because Chim’s an asshole.”

Bobby scrunched up his nose. “Let’s tell your grandmother that your filter is utterly broken, as well. You shouldn’t make any important phone calls where you must be diplomatic.”

Eddie huffed and focused on his phone. “I don’t have Buck’s cellphone number.”

“Yeah, Eddie, I know.”

A knock on the door caused Bobby to get up and go to answer the door. Eddie frowned a little at the man who entered before he could help himself. He only looked vaguely familiar, and he didn’t remember a name, though he was certain they’d been introduced at the scene. Ian Edgerton entered second, and Eddie was relieved to remember him, at least.

“How are you doing, Mr. Diaz?”

“I have a headache, and I feel like one big bruise. I’d love a shower, but I’ve been told I can’t have one since I’m apparently a fall risk even though I don’t remember falling at all the whole time I was walking.” He paused. “But they don’t care what I think about any of this. I don’t remember your name.”

“I’m SSA Don Eppes, and this is Special Agent Ian Edgerton,” Eppes said easily and took the seat when Bobby motioned to it. “Are you comfortable with your captain staying while I ask some questions?”

“It’s probably best if he does,” Eddie said. “I’m having issues.” He waved a hand toward his head. “I’m not sure how much I can actually give you.”

“This is just for the paperwork,” Eppes assured. “The suspect is dead, and Phoenix PD is satisfied.”

“Are you?” Eddie questioned.

“Ballistics will confirm we have the right shooter,” he said. “And I’ll be satisfied with that.” He put his phone on the tray table. “I’m going to record this if you don’t mind.”

“Okay.”

He listened to Eppes list the details and occupants of the room then he focused on him. “Okay, tell me what happened, Mr. Diaz.”

“We’d just taken off. The patient was unconscious and had been since the ranger found him. We were uncertain how long he’d been injured, but it wasn’t more than a few hours based on his check-in time at the ranger station. Several shots were fired, and I told Chuck to get as high as he could—to get out of range of the weapon. He tried, but then he was shot. Based on the way the helicopter started to spin, I think the tail section took a hit as well.

“We hit a stand of trees. I woke up sometime later and checked on Chuck. He’d been shot in the head, and our patient had been ejected. I gathered as many supplies as I could and rappelled out of the wreckage. Once on the ground, I found the patient—he was dead. We’d had a cooler full of water on the helicopter. It was near the patient, busted open, and the ice was melted. I gathered up the bottles that were intact and checked the GPS on my phone.

“I remember walking, stopping to drink water, and to check my GPS. I had no cell signal, so I couldn’t call anyone. I headed for the lookout.” He paused to think. “I remember seeing it before sunrise, and I stopped to rest. The next thing I knew, Buck was there. He put a mask on me, and the forest was on fire. He carried me to the lookout.”

“The whole way?” Eppes questioned.

“Yeah, a couple of miles. I don’t know the exact distance,” Eddie said. “I’m way under his weight limit, and I didn’t have any gear to weigh us down.”

Eppes glanced toward Edgerton, who shrugged.

Bobby cleared his throat. “Every firefighter with the LAFD has a minimum deadlift requirement of 200 pounds. Buck has demonstrated in training and in the certification process that he can lift upwards of 400 pounds and carry half of that for more than a mile with no overt issues. The people who do SAR train for that kind of marathon walk on a regular basis. When he worked for me, he ran ten miles a day. A two-mile walk carrying less than 150 pounds wouldn’t have been unduly strenuous.”

“In the middle of a forest fire,” Eppes said flatly.

“The fire was a good three miles from them at the point, so they just had smoke to deal with,” Bobby shrugged. “And they’re trained for that, too. With the right equipment, we can walk right into fire in order to fight it, Agent Eppes.”

“At Buckley’s level of fitness, I imagine he could’ve easily done it for longer,” Edgerton said and shrugged when Eppes made a face at him. “He’s nearly two decades younger than us, Don.”

Eppes frowned at his fellow agent, then focused on Eddie. “What happened after that?”

“I napped, we complained about our parents, I took a whore bath….” He paused. “Sorry.”

“A what?” Eppes asked with a quick laugh.

“Sorry, between growing up in Texas and serving in the Army, I learned things I shouldn’t ever repeat. I cleaned up with some wet wipes, and Buck gave me some clothes to wear. I fell asleep for a while; I can’t say how long or if I woke up during that time at all. I think…he either broke the door or a window? Both were broken afterward. The shooter came into the lookout and waved his gun around. He was having a hard time breathing, but we didn’t have the equipment to treat him.

“He talked a lot; I don’t really remember what he said. It’s a blur. Then, I think he got shot.” Eddie paused. “Maybe that’s when the glass was broken. It’s all mixed up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. We were warned that your memory might be spotty because of the concussion,” Eppes said quietly. “Thank you for your time today, Mr. Diaz.” He ended the recording. “If Buckley carried you roughly two miles, then you walked upwards of eight miles after the helicopter crash, Mr. Diaz. That’s an immense undertaking in your condition.”

“The shooter followed me, didn’t he? He asked Buck a question about the masks, but I don’t remember exactly what it was. I led him right to….” He exhaled slowly. “He said he killed some animals in Phoenix.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Bobby said under his breath.

“He meant people,” Eddie said. “I wish I remembered it more clearly. I think I did okay when he asked me questions since he didn’t shoot us.” He paused. “Right?” He focused on Bobby. “He didn’t shoot Buck, did he?”

“Buck’s fine,” Bobby assured.

“I don’t have his cellphone number,” Eddie said sadly and picked up his phone.

* * * *

Buck tucked his wallet back into his pocket as the nurse walked away. She’d asked for ID and said that more than one reporter had tried to get access to the firefighter who’d survived the helicopter crash. That was immensely offensive, and he wondered if Taylor Kelly was one of them. She hadn’t called him yet, so maybe their names hadn’t leaked. He was tempted to get online and check.

“Buck.”

Buck exhaled slowly as Bobby Nash approached. He should’ve realized that he would be there. The man was hyper-focused on his team in situations like the one they’d been in. “Hey.”

“Eddie will be released in about an hour,” Bobby said. “All of his tests were fine, and his doctor said he shouldn’t be alone for a few days. He’ll be staying with his grandmother. So, I’ll leave you to take him there.” He paused. “And for the love of God, give the man your phone number.”

“What?” Buck questioned.

“He’s pretty fixated on the fact that he doesn’t have it,” Bobby said with a smile. “He’s told me ten times he doesn’t have it. He even told the FBI he doesn’t have it.”

Buck laughed. “Oh, my number became the bag.”

“What?”

“He was really concerned about that orange bag when I found him,” Buck explained. “It had his cellphone in it, and he’d left a message for Christopher in case he didn’t make it.”

“He still has the bag,” Bobby assured. “He put your clothes in it.” He paused. “I’m looking forward to that phone call next week, Buck.”

“Maybe we can meet and have lunch on one of your off days,” Buck said, and Bobby nodded. “Great, well, I’ll call.”

“Good,” Bobby said quietly and touched his arm hesitantly. “It’s good to see you, and I’m glad things are going so well for you in SAR. The deputy chief of the west bureau has nothing but good things to say about your work performance, and Captain Gaines told me that you’ve been a great addition to his team. I knew you would be.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

The older man nodded, released him, and motioned down the hall. “He’s in room six.”

The door was partially opened, and Buck paused for a moment to watch Eddie. The man was frowning at his phone. He kind of felt like an asshole because he could’ve at least texted to let him know he was coming. Buck knocked his hand against the door, and Eddie looked up.

He frowned. “I don’t have your number.”

“I heard,” Buck said as he came into the room and pushed the door shut. “So, apparently, did the FBI.”

Eddie flushed. “I hit my head.”

Buck laughed and sat down. “How’s the headache?”

“Better,” Eddie muttered.

Buck pulled out his phone and texted Eddie a smilie face.

Eddie huffed. “You kept my number?”

“Of course.”

“And didn’t call me for over a year,” Eddie continued with a frown.

“Are you going to get salty about that?” Buck asked curiously.

“No,” Eddie denied and texted him a frownie face. “I’m gonna save this, and if you change it again without telling me, I’ll just have to show up where you work like a crazy person.”

“Deal,” Buck said in amusement. “You should relax and keep your blood pressure down so they don’t find a reason to keep you.”

“Tell them I don’t need a CT scan if they ask,” Eddie ordered.

“You probably do,” Buck said and grinned when Eddie slouched back on the bed with an annoyed huff.

“Have you talked to the FBI yet?”

“Not yet. We aren’t supposed to discuss what happened until after we both answer questions or whatever,” Buck said.

“I got it all mixed up in my head anyway,” Eddie said. “My brain is being weird.”

“Well, you got knocked around a bit,” Buck said. “Give yourself a break on that front. You did great in the moment, better than I expected, honestly. You didn’t even tell him about how shitty your parents are.”

“They are shitty,” Eddie muttered. “Maybe he would’ve wanted to know.”

Buck laughed. “Maybe.”

* * * *

“You steady?”

“Yeah. Do I look messed up? I don’t want to worry Christopher more than I already have.”

“You’ve got a small bruise on your jaw, and your body is covered in them. Maybe don’t let him see you in shorts or shirtless for a while,” Buck said honestly. “But you don’t look stoned if that’s your concern.”

Eddie had put Buck’s clothes back on for the trip home, and in his current mood, Buck didn’t think he was getting those sweatpants back ever. He had plenty, so he’d already counted them as a reasonable loss. He kept pace with Eddie all the way to Isabel Diaz’s front door, and it opened before they could knock.

“Edmundo,” she whispered and pulled him into a gentle hug. “You should’ve let me come to the hospital.”

“I had my captain then Buck showed up,” Eddie said. “This is Evan Buckley. He prefers to be called Buck. This is my abuela, Isabel Diaz.”

“I’ve heard all about you, of course.” Isabel grinned. “Christopher is excited to see you again. Please come in.”

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” Buck cupped Eddie’s elbow when the man stumbled a bit over the entryway. “Pick up your feet, Eds.”

“Right,” Eddie said huffily. “I should sit. I felt better before.”

“Well, you didn’t have Tylenol 3 for pain relief then,” Buck pointed out and guided him toward a chair.

“Where’s Christopher?” Eddie asked.

“I’m coming, Daddy!” Christopher shouted from the back of the house. “I had to change my shirt!”

Eddie glanced toward his grandmother.

Isabel shrugged. “We had chicken enchiladas for lunch. Would you like some?”

“I would love some,” Eddie said. “They didn’t feed me in the emergency room since I wasn’t going to be admitted, and I stupidly turned down Bobby when he offered to get me food.”

“You should’ve said,” Buck said as Christopher came into the room. “Hey, little man.”

“Hi, Buck.” Christopher smiled widely as he went to Eddie and leaned against the chair. Eddie tugged gently on his T-shirt in response. “Thanks for bringing my daddy home!”

“I’ll do my best to always do that,” Buck said seriously.

Isabel patted his arm. “Please sit. Are you hungry? You’re a big boy. You probably eat a lot.”

Buck flushed. “I do, actually, and I am. Thank you very much.”

“Come then, we eat the table like civilized people.”

Buck helped Eddie up out of the chair he was in because the man immediately tried to stand up. “Ask for help.”

“Yeah, Daddy, getting help is okay,” Christopher said earnestly.

“I changed my mind, Buck, go away. I can’t be outnumbered like this,” Eddie muttered as he was guided into a chair at the large kitchen table.

“It’s too late. Your abuela is about to feed me,” Buck said and shrugged. “I may never leave this house.”

“I have a guest room, and you’re pretty enough to keep,” she said as Eddie made a face, and Buck laughed.

“Thank you, Mrs. Diaz.”

“Oh, please call me Isabel. I insist.” She started to pull food out of the fridge. “Now, you boys can tell me all about the day you met.”

“He was so mean to me that day,” Eddie said sadly. “Then he left and didn’t call me for a whole year.”

Buck groaned, and Christopher laughed.

Chapter 5

“Daddy.”

Eddie turned his head and found Christopher standing next to the bed. “Hey.” He scooted over, and his son propped his crutches up against the nightstand then crawled onto the bed. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Christopher said and cuddled close. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“It’s late,” Eddie murmured and ran his fingers through his son’s hair. “You have school tomorrow.”

“I should stay home with you,” Christopher said. “In case you need help, and it’s Friday anyway.”

“I’ll be fine,” Eddie said. “But if you want, you can stay home. I’ll probably need to be reminded to call the school and Carla.”

“Okay,” he said and clenched his fingers into Eddie’s T-shirt. “I like Buck.”

“I like him, too.”

“It’d be nice if you worked with him again.”

“Yeah?” Eddie questioned.

“He took good care of you after the helicopter crash,” Chris said.

Evan Buckley had certainly saved his life, Eddie thought, though he couldn’t say that to his son. He knew he’d have probably died of smoke inhalation before the fire ever reached him. Dying in such a way was an awful thought, so he pushed it aside.

“He did,” Eddie said. “He’s very good at his job.”

“What’s he do now?”

“He still works for the LAFD, but he’s just in search and rescue now. He does it full-time. I was just in the reserves. Would it bother you if I did it all the time rather than just sometimes?”

“Would you work with Buck?”

“I think so.”

“Then no, it wouldn’t bother me. He already told me you were unlikely to be in another helicopter crash.” He paused and lifted his head. “The odds are in your favor. I looked it up.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean, if it happened again, I think you’d probably have to take at least a minute to figure out what the universe is trying to tell you, Daddy.” Christopher laughed when Eddie groaned. “Grandma called Abuelita last night.”

“Oh?”

“She asked if I was here and if you were fighting the forest fire. I’m not supposed to repeat what Abuelita said.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, and a little knot of anxiety formed in his belly despite how much he trusted his abuela. “Tell me anyways.”

“I did tell her that I don’t keep secrets from you,” Christopher said. “Abuelita told grandma that I was having a sleepover with a friend, and you were out getting laid.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open.

“I don’t know what that last part even means,” Christopher said.

Eddie laughed. “Please don’t repeat that to anyone else, and you’re not old enough to know what that means.”

“Oh, so it’s sex stuff. You always tell me I’m not old enough to know what that stuff is,” his son said. “I want under the blanket.”

Eddie rearranged them and pulled a pillow close for his son to use. “I’m okay, Mijo. You don’t have to keep watch over me.”

Christopher yawned. “It’s my turn.” He paused. “Until Buck comes back.”

Eddie decided to blame his concussion for the fact that his eyes were wet with tears. His phone lit up on the nightstand, so he picked it up as Christopher drifted off to sleep.

Buck: In the spirit of full disclosure I slept better in that chair yesterday than I am right now. Jason said he had an interview with a county fire department yesterday that went well. So the opening on the team might happen faster than expected.

Buck: I hope you have do not disturb on when you sleep

Eddie: Yeah I use it when I sleep. My head hurts too much to sleep right now.

Buck: Sleep would certainly help with that. The last time I had a concussion sleeping became my favorite thing ever

Eddie: How did that happen?

Buck: I had to go down the side of a cliff to get a woman after her boyfriend basically abandoned her there because he was afraid he’d be blamed for her accident. She had to call for help herself. She was exhausted by the time I reached her because she was freaking holding onto the cliff through sheer will.

Buck: She passed out and hit me in the face with her very well made climbing helmet. I was lucky she didn’t break my nose but I did have an epic black eye for a week. The dude got arrested.

Eddie: He deserved to go to jail for not calling for help.

Buck: Yeah she called 9-1-1 on her apple watch

Eddie: Wait? That woman? I’ve seen her commercial on TV. I kind of thought she was an actress. Her watch really did save her life.

Buck: Yeah it really did. Anyways I had a concussion and she sent me a fruit basket to apologize. Nice woman.

Buck: You should get some sleep. Good night.

Eddie: Good night

* * * *

Buck slowed down on the treadmill as his captain came into the gym. Once he’d transferred into SAR any need for a gym membership disappeared as the facilities in their station house were great and certainly a reflection of Ray Gaines’ idea of what it meant to be fit for the job. He left the treadmill and grabbed a towel to wipe his face.

“Hey.”

Ray Gaines stared for a moment. “You look like you slept like shit.”

“Pretty much,” Buck said. “I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Copeland.”

“Good,” Ray said and crossed his arms. “Need to spar?”

Buck huffed. “I’m not gonna get in the ring with you again for at least another quarter.”

Ray laughed. “Cohn’s due for his hour of PT.” He frowned then. “But I don’t think you have the headspace for that.”

“I don’t,” Buck admitted. “I thought I was basically okay, but I’m kind of torn.”

“About?” Ray questioned.

“I was relieved when the guy got shot,” Buck blurted out. “He was awful—violent, homophobic, and disgusting. He talked about beating the gay out of his own son.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about this until I give my statement to the FBI. I scheduled it for this afternoon. I feel bad for being relieved.”

“You were still going to help him,” Ray said.

“Yeah, that’s the job.” Buck rubbed his face. “Well, it’s more than that, but training kicked in.”

“You were relieved because he was a threat to your life,” Ray said. “And that’s perfectly reasonable.” Buck nodded. “No one expects perfect from you around here, Buck.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Ray questioned.

“What? Did Bobby ask you if I’d fucked up?” Buck demanded and flushed when Ray raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t give me the eyebrow.”

“Bobby Nash honestly thinks the world of you,” Ray said quietly. “So, no, the man didn’t ask me if you’d fucked up. This is me telling you that I don’t expect you to be perfect. I don’t expect you to bounce back and shake off the fact that a man was gunned down in front of you in a situation where your life was being threatened like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Take a shower and get some sleep in the bunks.”

“But—”

“You’ll sleep better here,” Ray interjected. “We’ve got your back while you do it. If we have to leave, the alarm will certainly wake you up. When are you due to meet Agent Eppes?”

“About six hours.”

“Then set your alarm for four,” Ray ordered. “That’ll give you plenty of time to settle down and get to wherever you need to go to meet him.”

“All right.”

By the time he’d showered and made up one of the bunks to sleep, Cohn McBride had meandered his way. The man stared for a moment, shook his head, and turned off the overhead lights.

“Go the fuck to sleep, Buck,” Cohn ordered.

Buck laughed. “I’m gonna try, promise.”

Cohn grunted and pulled the door shut.

Buck looked at the ceiling for a few moments, then started to flex and relax his muscle groups one by one. It always helped calm him down so he could go to sleep at work. There was a routine to it that was comforting that he didn’t practice at home. He knew he probably should.

* * * *

Eddie was eyeing his abuela, and she was avoiding him like a professional. “How am I supposed to back up your lies if I don’t know your lies?”

She huffed. “I didn’t know he was standing there!”

Eddie laughed. “He can be kind of sneaky, which should be impossible the way he normally thumps around with his crutches.”

“And your mother is a….” She waved a hand. “You know.”

He did know. “You could’ve just said no—because I wasn’t actually fighting that forest fire.” Eddie grinned when she huffed dramatically and threw her dish towel over her shoulder. “They haven’t called me in three months. Not since I told them they couldn’t have unsupervised calls with Christopher anymore and blocked them on his iPad.”

“Well, after what they did, they don’t deserve any sort of access to him,” Isabel said sharply. “I told Ramon I was ashamed of him and his disgusting behavior. He told me I was being unreasonable and didn’t understand. What’s to understand? He is betraying his own son! He would use his grandson like a meat shield just to make that bitch he married happy.”

“Did you read that book Pepa gave me on narcissistic parents?” Eddie asked in amusement.

“Yes! And it was eye-opening,” Isabel said huffily. “I told Ramon had I known how mentally ill his wife was that, I would’ve sued for custody of all three of his kids. He told me she was a good mother and deserved to have Christopher.”

“She was and still is an awful mother,” Eddie admitted. “She’s selfish, controlling, and deeply self-involved. Everything is about her and what she wants. Mostly, Mom is afraid I’ll ruin her reputation if she sues me, and she’s not wrong. I’ll invest myself in airing all of their dirty laundry. I’m not above hiring a private detective and having them both followed. Pop can’t keep it in his pants for love or money, and I distinctly remember them having an immense fight when I was in high school because he brought home an STD.”

“You are not making me feel better at all,” his abuela complained. “Invite your friend back over—he is sweet and beautiful.”

Eddie laughed. “He’s supposed to be getting interviewed by the FBI this afternoon then has plans with his sister afterward. Besides, I’m the one that’s injured—shouldn’t you be trying to make me feel better?”

“I’m making empanadas for lunch.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said. “That’ll work.” She laughed and went back into the kitchen. “I’m gonna go kick Christopher off the game system.”

“You leave that baby alone,” Isabel said tartly from the kitchen. “He’s not hurting a thing.”

“I’m teaching him how to share,” Eddie protested.

“You can’t play that silly game with your headache,” she retorted.

She was probably right so he went to lay on the sofa behind his son and watch Christopher play Mario Kart and mutter fake curse words under his breath every time he lost. Eddie really didn’t think son of a biscuit was really all that better than the actual curse, but his son excelled at following the rules and never used his creative substitutes to insult actual people.

* * * *

Buck finished off the sandwich Cohn had given him as he left the station just after he pulled into the parking lot of the FBI building. He still had half a bottle of water, so he took it with him. After checking it at reception, he was given a visitor’s badge and escorted up to a conference room with glass walls.

He’d finished his bottle of water by the time Agent Eppes entered the room.

“Sorry, things got hectic,” Eppes said as he sat with a folder and a cell phone. “So, listen, I have a question before I start recording.”

“Sure,” Buck said.

“There’s a bet.”

Buck laughed. “Okay.”

“How much weight could you carry for a mile?”

“With or without breaks?” Buck questioned, and the agent made a face.

“Without.”

“In a non-emergency situation, between 150 and 250 pounds, depending on the object and weight distribution. I can carry a 200-pound person without breaks for at least three miles in an emergency due to adrenaline. I know because I’ve done it. I’ve also lifted as much as 500 because I had no choice, but I regularly weight lift 400 during workouts to maintain what I’ve got going on.” He shrugged at the look he received. “And I eat upwards of 3000 calories on an off-duty day and sometimes twice that when I’m working to avoid losing weight and muscle.”

“Is that rare?”

“Not for people who do the work I do,” Buck said easily. “My captain is lifting 500 pounds on the regular. All of the men on the team can lift no less than 350 because our captain is pushing 260 without gear, and being able to carry him easily out of a situation is a goal every single day.”

“How much does your gear weigh?”

“All of it? Anywhere from forty to seventy pounds. The turnouts alone are forty. If we’re carrying a breathing system and irons, it adds up quickly. I work out for at least an hour on every single shift and two hours on the days that I’m off,” Buck explained. “It’s what the job requires.”

Eppes nodded. “Captain Nash didn’t seem at all surprised that you walked upwards of two miles while carrying Mr. Diaz.”

“Eddie’s a lightweight,” Buck said in amusement. “He’s barely pushing 150 pounds right now.” He leaned back in his chair. “And I didn’t walk. I couldn’t risk the fire catching up with us, and I didn’t have a good handle on how much time I had.”

“So, you…ran?”

“More of a brisk jog, but yeah. I was relieved he didn’t throw up on me, honestly. I had two air tanks, his bag, and him. I’d left my turnouts back at the lookout because I didn’t want the extra weight.” He rolled the water bottle around in his hands. “I did what I needed to do, Agent Eppes. That’s what all first responders do—what is necessary to the best of their ability.”

“And those turnouts can keep you from being burned,” Eppes said quietly. “A standard safety precaution, right?”

“Yeah,” Buck said and shrugged. “I made a calculated risk.”

“Okay,” Eppes said. “Let’s get started.” He motioned to the phone. “I’m going to record this.”

“Sure.” Buck shrugged and waited while the man made verbal notes regarding the recording.

“Okay, Mr. Buckley, tell me what happened. Start with when you realized that you needed to retrieve Mr. Diaz.”

“I’d seen the smoke start to plume and reported it. I took my measurements, reported the location from my perspective, and waited for reports from the tower closest to me to come in so we could compare numbers. We were close, so I felt like I’d made a good estimate on the origin. I went out on the deck with the binoculars to check the firebreak for issues and found a bit of regrowth that I thought might be an issue. I made some notes about that.

“Then I checked the edge of the forest—mostly looking for animal activity. The smoke was starting to spread, and I knew it would drive animals in my direction. So, mostly, I was curious. Then I saw a piece of orange material. I focused on it and realized it was a bag. It took me a few seconds to notice that it was attached to a body.”

“And you decided to go check it out while knowing there was an armed and dangerous fugitive in the forest that was currently on fire,” Eppes said.

“I’m not afraid of fire,” Buck said simply. “I was worried about the shooter, but not so much that I would’ve left another human being to burn. I had no way of knowing, at a distance, if he was dead or alive. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. So, I grabbed the gear I thought I would need and went after him.”

Buck hoped the man wasn’t going to ask about the perimeter thing, but he wasn’t prepared to outright lie about it if asked.

“It took me about twenty minutes to reach him. Eddie was difficult to wake up, but I managed it shortly before I put the mask on him. Then, I picked him up and carried him out. I stopped a couple of times since I was moving fast, and I needed to get my bearings due to the smoke, which was getting thicker by the minute.” He paused. “And rest a little because I’m not superhuman here.” He motioned to himself, and Eppes laughed. “It wasn’t an easy undertaking. I came out of it uninjured, which is my baseline for any successful rescue. It took me about thirty-five minutes to get him back to the lookout.

“Once I got him settled, I did a basic exam to check for injuries. He cleaned up and napped for a while. I napped off and on during that time as well. I’d been instructed to keep an eye out for the shooter but to also try not to make myself a target in the big glass box we were in.

“Eddie woke me up from sleeping because there was someone on the lookout. The man broke the door open, and I pulled Eddie off the cot and backed us all the way up as far as we could from him. The shooter was suffering from smoke inhalation, but we didn’t have the equipment to treat him. He asked for pain medication, and I told him where he could get it. He talked about serving in the military and killing people, which he admitted to enjoying a lot. He said he wished he knew where his son was so he could go beat the gay out of him. He also said he killed some animals in Phoenix and that they needed to be put out of their misery.

“Eventually, he demanded that I call someone to get him a vehicle. My captain, Ray Gaines, talked him into accepting evac via helicopter. But before that could happen, the window shattered, and he was shot in the chest.” Buck took a deep breath. “Eddie and I checked on him, verified that he was beyond help, and Agent Edgerton arrived at that point.”

“Did he tell you why he chose to do what he did?” Eppes questioned.

“He was profoundly homophobic based on his language and spoken opinions,” Buck said. “He told us he wanted a way out. That it was all he’d ever wanted. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I’ve seen a lot of depressed people teetering on the edge of suicide. It didn’t look like that to me. It looked like he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory like he was a hero.”

Eppes grimaced and nodded. “Our psychologist agrees with you.” He turned off the recording.

“Who won the bet?”

“One of my guys is former Army. He bet 200 pounds or more, while the rest of us thought that Mr. Diaz was probably pretty close to your weight limit when it came to carrying over a long distance. Agent Edgerton refused to participate.”

“Not really a fair bet,” Buck said in amusement. “Men and women in the Army are trained to lift and carry their teammates in much the same way.”

* * * *

“Why on Earth would you be asking Abuela about my sex life, Mom?” Eddie questioned. “What’s wrong with you? You know that’s not normal, right?”

He grinned as his abuela put a hand over her mouth and left the room. His mother breathed heavily in his ear, clearly furious.

“I didn’t ask your grandmother about your sex life!”

“Yeah, okay, my seventy-year-old abuela just volunteered information about my sex life,” Eddie muttered. He knew he should feel bad for being a troll, but his mother was a hellbeast, and he had to get his amusement somewhere. “What did you want?”

“Your father and I are coming to LA. We’ll be keeping Christopher at our Airbnb while we’re there.”

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking permission, Eddie,” his mother snapped. “I’m telling you what’s going to happen.”

“It’s never going to happen,” Eddie said. “You won’t have unsupervised access to my son until he’s an adult. Even then, I’m going to work to prevent it. It’s my job to protect him.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from me!”

“The state of California wouldn’t agree,” Eddie said, and she huffed loudly. “I’ve documented the incident with my lawyer, and she agrees that your disgusting campaign on that FaceTime call was parental alienation. I put him in therapy over it, Mom. He spent weeks asking me if you were going to take him away because you think I’m a terrible father.” He sat back in the recliner and curled his toes. “Look, don’t come here. I can’t think of a single family member who actually wants to see either one of you.”

“You can’t tell us what to do,” his mother snapped.

“Fine, but I can tell you that you will not see me or my son while you’re here—not even if you stay a whole month,” Eddie retorted. “I can’t trust you, and I’m not going to pretend I can. You are selfish, Mom, and emotionally abusive. My son deserves better, and frankly, so do I. And until you demonstrate mentally healthy change in your actions and attitude, I want nothing to do with either of you.”

She hung up on him, which was her standard reply when she didn’t get what she wanted. Eddie considered blocking her, but his mother was transparent and couldn’t help but herself when it came to intruding on his life. Answering her stupid little calls gave him valuable intel, though he did wonder what her overall goal was. He figured she was recording the calls, so he was always careful and firm with her.

His abuela appeared and offered him a plate. It had a piece of chocolate cake on it. She just grinned as he took it, then walked away laughing. After eating the cake, he browsed through his phone and checked the group text from the 118. He responded to direct questions, ignored everything Chimney had to say, and closed it. Sometimes, the group text was fine, but other times, it just seemed like a concentrated soup of stress. Mostly, it was when Chimney was bitching about something or someone. Eddie knew his resentment was taking on a life of its own, and that was another reason to transfer. He didn’t want to turn into a bitter asshole who people avoided at work.

Christopher came into the living room, eyed the empty plate, and squinted at him as he put aside his crutches and crawled into the recliner with him. “Are you sore from the crash? Is this okay?”

He was one giant bruise, but Eddie was never going to turn down cuddle time with his kid. There was gonna come a time when Christopher wouldn’t want to cuddle, and he didn’t look forward to that at all. “I’m fine.”

Christopher slouched against him then and reached over him for the TV remote. “Let’s watch something on Netflix.”

“What?”

“Maybe something about penguins.”

“Happy Feet?”

Christopher shook his head. “It makes me sad.”

“Really? Why?” Eddie asked.

“Mumble was different, and his daddy didn’t accept him. He had to go away for a long time before his daddy realized how much Mumble meant to him,” Christopher said quietly. “He shouldn’t have had to do that.”

“I think there’s a lesson there, though,” Eddie said quietly and pressed a kiss against the top of his son’s head. “Sometimes we have to lose something or someone to realize how much they mean to you. Seeing them again kind of brings it all into focus, and you realize you were missing out on something really important because you weren’t paying attention.”

“I like the way Marlon loves his son more than the way Memphis loves Mumble,” Christopher said. “Marlon was overprotective and kind of crazy about it, but Nemo never doubted how loved he was. Even if he did doubt that his daddy would come for him.” He paused. “You’d come find me.”

“Of course I would,” Eddie said and hugged him closer.

“It was different—Memphis had no idea where Mumble went, but it didn’t seem like he ever even tried to look for him,” Christopher said. “He just stayed in the cave and felt sorry for himself.”

“From his perspective, his son was gone and would never come back,” Eddie said. “He was mourning and that’s different than giving up. Marlon knew where Nemo was—he just had to get there.”

“That’s true,” Christopher said. “And Memphis apologized.” He sighed. “Still, it makes me sad. Plus, we’re killing the whole planet just being greedy and selfish like we’re the only ones that live here. It’s gross.”

Eddie stayed quiet as his son browsed through Netflix and picked a documentary about the Giza pyramids. He was proud of the fact that Christopher blasted past all the junk content and picked something interesting and educational without prompting.

“What happened to penguins?”

“Pyramids over penguins today,” Christopher said in amusement.

* * * *

Buck groaned a little as a plate was slid into place in front of him. “Thanks. I’m starving.”

They’d decided to have breakfast for dinner, and he couldn’t be happier with the decision.

His sister laughed and sat down at the table with her own plate for French toast, eggs, and bacon. “Are you okay? Your stress levels must be through the roof.”

“Yeah, I’m good. I had a session with Dr. Copeland,” Buck said, and Maddie nodded. “And I’ve been texting Eddie Diaz a bit. I think…well. I think I missed out on a chance to make a really good friend before, and I’m trying to correct that.”

“A friend or more?” Maddie questioned and wiggled an eyebrow. “He’s hot.”

“Yeah, he is,” Buck said. “I’d prefer a friend over a hook-up, but if he were to come at me in a serious way, then I wouldn’t say no.”

“Serious how?” Maddie asked as she drowned her entire plate in syrup.

“I’m ready for something long-term. I’m not getting younger, and I’ve been thinking about a surrogate. I really want a baby, Maddie.”

She smiled then. “You’ll be a great dad.”

“You think?”

“I know,” she said quickly. “You care so much, and you have a lot to give a child. Is adoption on the table? There are a lot of kids in foster care that need good homes.”

“I’ve considered it,” Buck said. “But I think I’d need a partner for that to be a viable option for me. With my work schedule…I might not be considered ideal for a foster child, especially one that needs a lot of time dedicated to them.” He took a deep breath. “So, I don’t want to make the wrong move with Eddie.”

“Then you won’t,” Maddie declared. “You’ve got this.” She stabbed a piece of French toast and pointed at him with it. “Seriously.” Maddie wet her lips and leaned forward a bit. “I’m considering medical school. What do you think?”

“I think you couldn’t spend Doug’s money in a better way if you tried,” Buck said and grinned when she laughed. “Seriously, Maddie, take back your dreams. You deserve it and more.”

She nodded. “Lou said the same thing. It’s just that I don’t want to narrow my perspective again. It’s how I go off the rails, and I know it. I need to make my own decisions, but having a reality check is good. I’ve got a lot of buttons that the bios installed, and I react badly sometimes for no reason beyond that’s how I was taught to act by Phillip and Margaret. Doug made all of that worse. Sometimes, I want to run away, but I know that’s a stupid thing to do because no one supports me more than you do. Running from you would make no damned sense.”

Buck nodded. “We’re family.”

Maddie had been calling their parents the bios for about three months as it was the least offensive way she could think of to talk about them that didn’t make her furious. She hadn’t been able to call them parents since they’d called her and screamed at her for the scandal that Doug’s death caused back home. Doug’s parents weren’t going to let anyone forget that Maddie Buckley had killed their son.

His phone buzzed gently on the table where he had it sitting face down. They had a rule about phone usage at meals. It buzzed again.

Maddie hummed under her breath. “You can check yours if I can check mine.”

Buck laughed. “Deal.”

She immediately snatched hers up. “Lou had an arrest today, but I’m hoping he’ll be off in time to come by for a bit. I made a cheesecake earlier. You can take yours to go.”

“Sure,” Buck said and rolled his eyes when she grinned.

He focused on his own phone and browsed his texts.

Eddie: You’re off tomorrow, right? You’re normally on A-shift?

Eddie: I was hoping we could have dinner. You’ll have to drive—I still can’t do that. Had some vertigo this morning.

Buck stared for a moment, relief settling on his bones.

“Good?” Maddie questioned.

“Eddie asked me to have dinner with him,” Buck said and flushed when she grinned broadly. “That seems like a date, right?”

“He’s certainly in no condition for a hook-up,” Maddie said. “So, he wants to see you, and that’s very good.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Buck said quietly.

“Excited?”

“Nervous,” Buck admitted. “Sometimes I think I want too much from people, and they can’t handle it.” He winced when she glared at him. “Seriously.”

“Wanting love, respect, and attention from your romantic partner is not too much, Evan,” Maddie said flatly. “We’ve been learning that, right?”

“Right.” Buck nodded. “I know it. It’s just sometimes it’s hard to keep that truth close. Ali left me because I couldn’t give her enough of anything. She didn’t understand the job. Abby left me to find herself on someone else’s dick.” Maddie made a disgusted face. “And ghosted me from Europe. So, sometimes I worry that I’m too much. It’s a bad habit.”

Buck: Yeah, I’m on A. Ray gave me 2 shifts off for a mental health break. My next shift is on Monday. I’d love to have dinner. Are you still at your abuela’s?

Eddie: Yeah, she’s holding me hostage until I can say honestly that I can drive home. Bobby brought my truck to me this morning. I’m game for most kinds of food so you can pick the place. 7pm?

Buck: Sounds great. I’ll text when I’m on my way. I don’t expect it to be a problem, but I am on call 24/7 despite not being scheduled if there is an emergency or disaster.

Eddie: Yeah of course you are. See you at 7 as long as the world doesn’t get set on fire.

Buck laughed and sent a smilie face in response.

“Good?” Maddie questioned.

“Very good,” Buck said. “I’m kind of excited.” He paused. “I have no idea where to take him. He said I could pick the place.”

“Well, go somewhere where you’re comfortable so at least you don’t have to stress the service or the actual drive to it,” Maddie advised. “But don’t pick a place where you’re well-known because it might make you look like a serial dater.” She paused. “Maybe that Thai place we tried last month. The organic one.”

“I liked that one,” Buck admitted. “Parking was easy, and the service was great.”

She nodded. “Lou liked it, too.” Maddie put her phone down. “Text him to make sure he likes Thai though, just in case.”

“Yeah, of course.” Buck focused on his phone for what he promised himself was the last time during the meal.

Buck: Thai?

Eddie: Yeah, I love it.

Buck: Great—see you then. 🙂

He put down his phone and took a deep breath. It felt like he was on the edge of something amazing, and part of him still wanted to force himself to tone down his excitement to avoid being disappointed. But therapy had taught him that it wasn’t fair to himself to assume the worst possible outcome in his personal life. Buck knew that realistic expectations were good, and preparing to be destroyed emotionally at every single turn was a trauma response.

Chapter 6

“How are you?”

“Good, sir,” Eddie assured as he led Bobby Nash out onto his abuela’s back porch. “Something to drink? Abuela and Christopher made watermelon fresca this morning. Well, she made it, and he made a mess.”

Bobby laughed. “I’d love some.”

Eddie motioned him to sit and slid back into the house. His abuela presented him with two glasses already poured. He laughed and kissed her cheek. “Gracias.”

“Don’t leave your guest alone, nieto,” she said and motioned him out.

His captain had chosen to sit at the picnic table out in the yard, so he joined him. Eddie put Bobby’s glass down on the table next to the man and slid onto the bench across from him. “What’s up?”

“I recommended you to Ray Gaines,” Bobby said. “He’s going to have an opening soon—probably around the time you’re cleared for active duty if the conversation I had with him this morning is anything to go by. He’ll be calling you sometime this week. I didn’t want it to catch you off guard, or for you to assume that I want you to go. I don’t.” He took a deep breath. “But I recognize that you need to.”

“It’s getting harder to pretend that I’m okay with the fact that the only person to ever say a damn thing to Chimney about his inappropriate behavior was Cosmo,” Eddie admitted. “I don’t think Hen’s outright malicious, but she enables Chimney a lot, and so do you. Even now, he still manages to make snide comments about my attitude, like I don’t have the right to have a problem with him or his behavior. Nothing actionable at this point. But it’s insidious, Bobby, and I don’t know what the solution is as long as you keep him on the job.”

“What do you mean?” Bobby questioned.

“He’ll find a new target,” Eddie said plainly, and the man’s mouth dropped open. “He tried it with Chad Rogers, and Chad told him to choke on his dick.”

Bobby laughed sharply then tried to sober up. “I…when was this?”

“About a month ago,” Eddie said in amusement. “Chimney’s face was priceless. Regardless, Chad has no fucks to give and an immense amount of bro infused in his ego. I think he’ll probably work out as a permanent replacement on heavy rescue for Mike. But Chimney is going to continue to be a problem unless you come down on him like a ton of bricks.” He paused. “Are you afraid to be accused of racism?”

“I’m a middle-aged white man,” Bobby said plainly. “I try very hard to acknowledge my privilege and live my life with awareness, Eddie. I’m married to a Black woman, and I’ve gotten questions from some of the other captains like it’s a problem. They’re old and on their way out, but it sticks. But I see the dynamics in play in that situation, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie said.

“I also know that all kinds of bigotry are embedded in most organizations—the LAFD wouldn’t be an exception. And the history of the LAPD speaks for itself,” Bobby said wearily, and Eddie nodded. “Still, no, I don’t think I’d get accused of racism for pointing out that Chimney Han is a problem. I don’t even have to point it out because HR has been aware of the problem for a while. I reported him for his overt abuse of power when he was acting captain. And both floaters I had in after Mike died reported him for different reasons. One cited slut-shaming, which I had to Google, and the other believed that Chimney discriminated against him because he’s transgender.”

“Joe?” Eddie questioned, and Bobby nodded. “I don’t think Chimney knew that Joe was born a female. I mean, it wouldn’t be overtly obvious unless he walked in on Joe in the shower. Which I did and apologized profusely. He hadn’t locked the door, which he apologized for. We had a beer, apologized to each other some more, and spent the better part of four hours collecting phone numbers in a bar. Great time.”

Bobby grinned. “Joe did disclose to me when he started. But we have private showers, so I figured it wouldn’t come up. At any rate, it was withdrawn when Chimney was questioned and proved to be shocked that Joe was trans. He said he didn’t like Joe because he was a dick, not because he was once a woman.”

“That sounds about right,” Eddie admitted. “Chimney doesn’t appear to have any bias related to race, sexuality, or gender, Bobby. He’s just an intrusive, insecure, boundary-avoidant asshole with an immense inferiority complex.” He paused. “Also, you need to tell him to stop volunteering for shit he’s not qualified to do. It’s disconcerting and stressful. And it makes people assume things about his qualifications that they really shouldn’t, which is dangerous.”

“Cosmo wants to make an announcement regarding shift-wide qualifications so that everyone knows exactly what every team member has to offer,” Bobby said. “There’s a lot of ego at the 118, and I think it’s an environment that Chim’s behavior has encouraged. I wasn’t ready to be back on the job when I started at the 118, and I only realized that in retrospect. I was faking it and expecting to make it. I hit bottom during Buck’s probationary year.

“Hen and Buck found me hung over in my apartment,” Bobby said quietly. “Buck was really there for me through that, didn’t accept any of my excuses about going to meetings and getting a new sponsor here in LA. He gave me a lot, Eddie, and you’re right—I did betray him.”

Eddie blew air out between his lips and looked over his abuela’s yard. His cousins took turns taking care of it, and they did a good job for the most part. But it was clear that her fence needed some maintenance.

“Buck is…softer than I perceived him to be,” Bobby said thoughtfully. “I mistook his bravado and outgoing personality for…. I’m not trying to say that he’s weak, okay? He’s one of the strongest people I know, and I’m not speaking of his physical prowess. I don’t know how to get this out of my head and into words.”

“He has a big, tender heart,” Eddie said quietly, and Bobby’s shoulders slumped a little. “And he tries to hide it as much as possible. Probably because of his abusive childhood.”

Bobby’s hand clamped down on Eddie’s arm. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Eddie put his free hand on top of Bobby’s. “You didn’t know?”

“No.” Bobby blinked rapidly and released him. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie said. “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t talk about it. You two were so close that I assumed that he would’ve talked to you about it.”

“No, he just let me pour all of my grief over losing my first wife and kids all over him,” Bobby said quietly. “Then he’d drag me to a farmer’s market or find some retro music festival to go to where he’d pretend that he didn’t know any of the music.” He rubbed his face with both hands. “I’ve never wanted a drink more in my life.”

“It was pills before, right?”

“Painkillers and whiskey,” Bobby said hoarsely.

Eddie started to respond, but his abuela suddenly slid right onto the bench beside Bobby and very carefully took his hand.

“My Edmundo, Eddie’s grandfather, was fond of tequila.” She paused. “Too fond.”

Bobby nodded and stared at their hands. “Addiction ruined my life once before.”

“Yes,” she said. “That’s very clear. But you found solace in God, did you not? In your good works and your job?”

“I’ve tried.”

“Now you have a beautiful wife,” Isabel continued. “And she’s sharing her children with you. She would not do such a thing if she did not trust you.”

“I’ve done all I can to deserve that,” Bobby said. “But I’ve made some immense mistakes with someone I care about a lot. Buck can barely stand to look at me, Isabel. How do I…. Do I even deserve to try to fix it?”

“Well, even if you do not…he does,” Isabel said, and Bobby focused on her. “Buck’s a compelling young man—lovely inside and out. I talked Eddie into asking him out to dinner.”

Eddie blushed as Bobby laughed. It was a watery but genuine sound. “We’re having Thai. I let him pick the place.”

“He likes to have experiences,” Bobby said. “And try new things.” He swallowed hard. “I let him go, and I don’t know how to get back what I lost. I’m not even sure he’ll allow it.”

“It’s best to start with a heartfelt and honest apology,” Isabel said. “So, you need to fully understand your transgressions against this young man.”

“I know what I did,” Bobby said roughly. “I told him what my father told me—toughen up, don’t take it so seriously; you have to let this kind of thing roll off your back, son, or you’re never going to get anywhere in life.”

“Sounds familiar,” Eddie admitted. “My father said that shit to me constantly as a kid and even berated me for crying at my abuelo’s funeral. I just make it a rule to think three or four times before I say anything to Christopher that Pop said to me.” He frowned. “So nearly all the time, I end up swallowing the words because it was all toxic and unfortunate. I don’t want my son crying his heart out while he hides in the shower at sixteen because his heart is broken, and he can’t trust me with his pain.”

Bobby exhaled slowly. “I can’t stand your father, Eddie. But I was raised by a man just like him. He was a mean old bastard but arguably a man of his time. It was his job to provide for the family; he did that and everything else was on my mother. Well, except for discipline. He spanked us if we broke the rules. Never to the point of abuse in my mind, but it would certainly meet that standard today.”

“Yes,” Isabel said quietly. “Both of my parents would’ve gone to jail for child abuse these days. They were very free with a hand. It was what they grew up with; what they were taught was acceptable. I never let Edmundo spank our children.” She paused and sighed dramatically. “Ramon probably could’ve used it, but we never had a proper woodshed.”

Bobby laughed sharply and shook his head when she grinned.

“When I was meandering through a dark forest after the helicopter crash and getting rescued by a hot firefighter, my sweet little abuela was telling my mother I was out getting laid,” Eddie said dryly.

“Well, your mother doesn’t need any real information,” Bobby said in amusement. “She’d have found a way to call me and drive me nuts.” He paused. “Or maybe she’d have called the FBI and gotten put on a domestic terrorist watchlist.”

“Considering her behavior when she flies, she probably already is,” Eddie muttered and huffed when his abuela started laughing. He checked his watch. “Christopher will be up from his nap soon. Did you want to stick around, Bobby?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Bobby said and focused on his half-empty glass. “And could I have the recipe for this?”

“Of course,” Isabel said.

* * * *

Christopher was sitting on the bed, staring pointedly at him. “You’re wearing your date shirt.”

“What?” Eddie questioned as he buckled his belt. He’d gotten his cousin, Luis, to raid his closet and bring him clothes for the date. “Luis picked this out.”

“It’s your date shirt,” Christopher said. “And you shaved.”

“I can’t go on a date?” Eddie asked in amusement, and his son huffed at him.

“You still have bruises everywhere, Daddy, and can’t drive. Who is this date with? Did you set up a safety call with Luis in case you need to be rescued?”

Eddie grinned at him. “I’m going to have dinner with Buck, Mijo.”

“Oh.” Christopher pursed his lips. “Without me? I want to see him, too.”

Eddie sat down on the bed and shifted around so he could face his son. “Well, you’ll have plenty of chances to see him in the future. But tonight, I’d like it to just be him and me. We have some adult things to talk about, and I’d like to spend some time with him without being in the middle of a forest fire.”

His son immediately started to pout. “I like him, though.”

“I really like him, too,” Eddie said quietly and caught his son’s hand. He wiggled it a little, and Christopher laughed. “But I’ll ask him about him going to the park with us next week, okay?”

“I love the park,” Christopher admitted. “Do you like him…like a boyfriend?”

“Well, we need to figure that out, and we can’t really do that without spending some time alone together,” Eddie explained. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah.” He crossed his arms. “Okay, but you have to tell him about the park and bring me home dessert.”

“You’ll be asleep by the time I get home,” Eddie reminded.

“I can eat it tomorrow.”

“Okay, dessert.”

It felt like a bribe, but his son wasn’t normally demanding or pouty. “Are you worried about something?”

“Not if you’re going to be with Buck,” Christopher said plainly. “You don’t get confused anymore, so your head seems better. But you walk a little slow, and you’ve got bruises you’ve been hiding from me. I wouldn’t want you to go out with a stranger when you’re not recovered. What if they tried something shady?”

Eddie stared for a moment. “Have you been watching telenovelas with your abuelita?”

“No.” Christopher flushed and huffed. “Yes.”

Eddie laughed. “I don’t even know which one of you to lecture.” He flicked his son’s nose. “Well, I am going out with Buck, so there won’t be anything shady happening.”

“Dessert and two hours at the park with Buck.” Christopher crossed his arms when Eddie started to speak. “I’m not open to negotiations at this time, Daddy.”

“You’re lucky you’re adorable,” Eddie told him dryly, and his son tipped over on the bed with a giggle.

* * * *

“I meant to ask, what happened to the Jeep?” Eddie questioned as he fastened his seatbelt.

Buck exhaled a little and didn’t put the truck into drive, so Eddie wondered if he’d hit on a sore topic. Before he could apologize, Buck focused on him.

“I originally got it from my sister. It was her sweet sixteen birthday present, and she gave it to me when I left home. So, when the bios lost their freaking minds about the scandal of Doug trying to murder us and him getting killed instead, it started to remind us of them. We sold it to some kid starting college and used the money to buy ourselves annual passes to Disneyland, then spent a week at the park since our parents never once took us to either Disney location as kids.”

Eddie smiled. “Great use of the money.”

“We rode every single ride we could both fit on,” Buck admitted. “Twice.”

“I took Christopher last year, but it was a little exhausting for us both. He had a good time, but I could tell he was a little disappointed in the shortness of the day.” Eddie relaxed in the seat as Buck put the truck into drive, and they started moving. “This is kind of like getting picked up for a date when I was in high school. Abuela tried to give me a curfew.”

Buck grinned. “Well, we’ve got a few hours, right?”

“Something like that,” Eddie said and shook his head. “Though I barely got out of the house without Christopher. He was concerned about me going out without supervision.”

“You’re not at a hundred percent, so it wouldn’t be great if you were to get into some stranger’s car,” Buck said and glanced his way when Eddie groaned. “What?”

“That’s pretty much exactly what he said, and he’s been watching telenovelas with my abuela. What’s your excuse for the immense paranoia?”

“True crime podcasts,” Buck said immediately and shrugged. “There’s no TV at the station as Ray prefers people be active when they’re on shift—active or in a state of physical and mental rest to prepare for the job. I listen to a lot of podcasts while I’m working out, doing chores, and all that jazz.”

“I suppose he’d find the PlayStation at the 118 offensive,” Eddie said in amusement.

“Yeah, he’d be appalled. Ray’s big on training and continuing education when on duty. I’ve never really known anyone who works as hard as he does. It’s not super competitive because he doesn’t play those games, but he’s result-focused.”

“Bobby visited me this morning,” Eddie said. “He said I should expect a call from Captain Gaines this week because he recommended me.”

“Jason got a second interview while he was in Washington and a job offer before he even got out of the airport once he got back home,” Buck explained. “He starts in three weeks. We’re going to start packing his house next week and prepare it to be sold.”

“So, he’s not going to come back?” Eddie questioned.

“His father is terminal,” Buck explained. “Jason will inherit his childhood home, and he’s kind of ready for that, I guess. He said that it will help him process to be surrounded by his parents’ things. I don’t have a frame of reference for that.”

“No, me neither. I already dread my sisters’ expectations regarding my parents in their old age. I’m not going to take care of them, no matter what sort of guilt trip gets thrown my way. They did the bare minimum when I was a kid and invest themselves in trying to control me in a way that is outright abusive now.”

“I feel lucky that my parents like to pretend I don’t exist,” Buck admitted. “They were pretty intent on gaining control of Maddie and the money she got from Doug’s estate. His parents fought that, too, but she was his legal wife, and his will was airtight. Turned out he hated his parents, too.”

“Well, he learned how to be the abusive piece of shit he was from somewhere,” Eddie said. “Some people come out of that kind of childhood determined to never hurt those they love that way and others just don’t.”

“Cohn says adulthood is just learning to deal with the bullshit your parents did to you, one way or another,” Buck said. “But everyone else just accepts that he’s really jaded.”

“Who’s Cohn?” Eddie questioned.

“He’s on the team,” Buck said. “Cohn McBride, pilot and engineer. Sae Bu, she’s a paramedic but has most of the qualifications for SAR. She’s too small for heavy rescue but is great on the ropes, makes smart choices, and never hesitates on a climb. Thomas Marshall, Sae’s partner, is also a paramedic, but he has all the same certifications that I do. Neither of us has confined space. He’s just too big for it, and so is Ray, for that matter. Frankly, you’ll be a great addition to the team for that aspect alone. You’re strong but not bulked out. Do you have your confined space cert?”

“Yes, I did it at the same time that I did structural collapse and cave rescue.” Eddie paused. “With the cave rescue cert, came dive and deep water rescue since a lot of caves in this area are underwater.”

“Ray must be thrilled,” Buck admitted. “I have flood and swift water cert and Sae has the deep water cert. But none of us have all of those. I should probably work on my water certs.”

“I can help with that training.”

“That would be great,” Buck said and nodded. “As for the rest of the team, Ray is also a pilot and has every certification he could manage at his size. So, you’re going to be the only confined space asset we have on the helicopter. Sae has been talking about getting that certification, so she might hit you up for scenario training, and I’ve considered it, but Ray thought it was best if I focused on other training that was beneficial to the team and easier at my size.”

“Is that how Gaines team builds? Sharing skills and training scenarios?”

“Yes, and it’s very successful. The entire 56 models his method because he’s not only our captain but he’s also the task force commander for the whole station. It’s created a healthy and supportive culture. There is a fire and rescue unit on our shift as well—though if they’re sent out for a fire, it’s usually industrial. They’re ground support for us during major disasters, and we’re air support for them in situations where they need it.”

“So, six on the helicopter and how many on the ground unit?”

“Fourteen,” Buck said. “Great guys—well, eleven guys, two women, and a female captain for their unit. She’s a badass. Anita Alvarez runs her unit like she never left the Marine Corps.”

Eddie laughed. “Honestly, I’m starting to regret saying no to the 56 when I was first hired. But Bobby was my first interview, and I didn’t want to take any risks with a job, so I said yes and declined all of the other interviews.”

“I’m glad for the experience I had at the 118, for good and bad,” Buck admitted. “I learned a lot about myself, and it made me realize my own worth as a person and a firefighter. I won’t ever accept less than what I deserve on the job again.”

“Good,” Eddie said quietly. “If it matters, Bobby is full to the brim with regret over how everything worked out with you.”

“We’re going to have lunch later in the week,” Buck said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do enough to make him understand how much of a problem Chimney is. It sucks that he turned on you.”

“Oh, he’ll pick at anyone’s weakness,” Eddie said. “ And exploit it to the point of fury or agony, then act like you’re crazy if you have a problem with it. The gaslighting is almost worse.”

“The gaslighting is what sticks with you because it makes you doubt yourself and your own feelings,” Buck said. “At least, that’s how my therapist has taught me to look at it. But speaking of therapy, Ray’s a big believer in a healthy mindset as well as a healthy body. He won’t browbeat you, but he will take you off duty if he thinks you’re struggling psychologically. Then he’ll just look at you with disappointment until you agree to go to therapy.”

Eddie didn’t know how to feel about that exactly, as he was private by nature and didn’t like people getting deep in his business. But he wouldn’t want to work with anyone else who was as mentally unstable as Chimney Han was again, so it was probably a good trade-off.

“I try to keep myself in check,” Eddie said. “When I’m not concussed and oversharing.” He cleared his throat. “But speaking of, I made a mistake with Bobby this morning, and I owe you an apology.”

“Yeah?” Buck questioned and glanced his way as they exited the highway.

“Bobby and I were talking about the situation at the 118 and how Chimney will certainly find a new target to fixate on when I leave, just like he did when you left. Then, we spoke about your reaction to the treatment and your eventual retreat. I said that your way of handling everything was probably related to your abusive childhood. I thought since you and Bobby were so close before, that he already knew about it. I apologize, and I will speak more carefully in the future.”

“It’s not a secret,” Buck said and reached out casually to take Eddie’s hand. He squeezed gently. “So, I’m not upset at all. Promise. I don’t know why I didn’t discuss it with Bobby specifically, except to say that he had a heavy load emotionally already and didn’t need my trauma piled on top of his.”

“How much of not a secret do you mean?” Eddie asked curiously.

“I basically took an emotional body slam on that issue about eight months ago. There was an Amber Alert. A five-year-old boy was reported to have disappeared out of his bedroom in the middle of the night.”

“I remember the alert,” Eddie said quietly. “And the aftermath.”

“Yeah, well, we were called in to search the canyon behind the house. I found him,” Buck said, and Eddie clenched their fingers together. “I think his mother hoped that an animal would find him before we did. When I checked his vitals, I was surprised that he was alive. I called for evacuation, picked him up, and carried him to a place where we could get picked up since he was in a crevice. He died five minutes before we reached the hospital. There was nothing Sae could do.” He exhaled slowly. “And I held him the rest of the ride, then I carried him into the hospital, and I….”

“We don’t have to talk about this,” Eddie said quietly.

“It’s fine,” Buck said. “So, I carried him to a gurney and put him down on it. The doctors and nurses were just standing there. They’d been all geared up and ready to give that little boy everything they had. I didn’t even realize I was crying until one of the nurses asked me if I needed help, and I was so fucked up that I started to shake. Thomas basically carried me out to the helicopter, and I blurted it out on the ride back to the airfield. I told them all about how my parents just hit me all the damn time as a kid.

“The LAPD showed up to take my statement, and I could barely speak at that point. I explained to them the best that I could what I found and gave the GPS location of the body dump. Eventually, his mother was charged with beating her child to death, as you know. She admitted, during questioning, to being furious when she found out he’d be found alive and relieved when he died before he reached the hospital. She said getting pregnant had ruined her life, and getting rid of him was the only thing that would make everything right again.”

“That wasn’t reported,” Eddie said.

“She took a plea deal. I was giving a formal statement with a detective when she basically had a fit about being questioned and admitted it at all at the top of her lungs,” Buck explained. “It was awful to witness, but watching that little boy stop breathing was one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered on the job.”

“Losses like that change you,” Eddie said. “I can’t even speak of some of the things I saw in theater. I enlisted to escape my parents, and I let that desperation carry me for a while. It was the one thing that they couldn’t control, you see. Once I signed those papers, I belonged to the Army. They were furious that they couldn’t cancel it because they tried. I’d told the recruiter that I had to get away from my parents, and he made sure it happened as quickly as possible. I was at boot camp a week after I enlisted. My mother punished me by cleaning out my bedroom and throwing away everything I owned.

“And I responded by refusing to step foot in their house again,” Eddie said. “I still haven’t. Christopher isn’t allowed in their house either, and they rarely had any unsupervised visits with him because I don’t trust them.”

“With good reason,” Buck said as he parked the truck. “So listen, I don’t think we can be friends if we are just going to have a bloodletting every single time we’re alone together.”

“It’s too late, you’re stuck with me.”

“Yeah?”

“Seems like a thing,” Eddie said and focused on the restaurant. It wasn’t the fancy place he’d expected, and he considered that expectation. Buck wasn’t pretentious at all, so he wondered why he’d assumed that their first date would be a semi-fancy and expensive place. “Bobby said you like to have experiences.”

“Yeah,” Buck said. “It’s a new business, and instead of investing money in an expensive location, they’re focusing on the food. Everything is organic and authentic.” He turned off the truck and pulled out the keys after Eddie released his hand. “Maddie and I came here last month on a recommendation from someone she works with. It’s the best Thai I’ve ever had.”

“Great,” Eddie said and unfastened his seatbelt. “It’s one of my favorites, and I don’t have a go-to place.”

“You will after this meal,” Buck said. “It’s probably the only place I’ll order from going forward.”

“What are their dessert options like? I did promise to bring Christopher home dessert,” Eddie said as they left the truck and headed for the door of the restaurant.

“Small, it’s not something they focus on, but there is an ice cream shop a bit down the road that is outstanding if he can have dairy,” Buck said.

“Yeah, Christopher is good with dairy, and he’d love some ice cream.”

* * * *

Buck set aside the alcohol menu like he always did then considered offering it to Eddie. The man was already looking at the food options. He didn’t drink and hadn’t even had a beer in over two years. It had started with Bobby. Buck had spent a lot of time with him off-duty, and drinking around the man felt wrong and rude. The culture at the 56 didn’t foster or encourage any sort of drinking.

“They have a decent beer menu,” Buck pointed out.

“I’ve not had any painkillers today,” Eddie said but shook his head. “But I’ll probably want them for sleep, so it’s best to leave that off the table for me. I don’t mind if you have one, though. At your size, it’s not going to impair your judgment.”

“I don’t drink at all these days,” Buck said easily. “I’d never, ever want to get a call from Ray and have to admit that I’m too drunk to come in and work if he needed me.”

Eddie blinked in surprise. “Right. I didn’t…even think about that. I don’t drink much at all, so refraining won’t be a hardship. Is it a rule?”

“No, just a preference. I’m not required to work out off duty, but I do,” Buck shrugged. “I could drink, and Ray wouldn’t get bent. He’d probably transfer me off his team if I was consistently unavailable in emergency situations when I’m not officially scheduled because of drinking.”

“Makes sense,” Eddie said. “Do you find it to be too much? The commitment?”

“No, and the pay more than makes up for it,” Buck said and paused when Eddie raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh, you haven’t had the official call. You’ll get a significant raise, Eddie, for moving to a task force station. Plus, your qualifications will elevate you on the pay scale. I ended up pulling an additional 15,000 when I transferred due to qualifications and experience on the job.”

“I was paid more for my reserve work,” Eddie said. “But I didn’t really translate that into a future salary. That’s great.”

A waiter came and took their order, left water, and the spring rolls they’d requested when the menus had been delivered.

“So, if bloodletting is off the table,” Eddie said in amusement. “What should we talk about?”

Buck shrugged. “I guess it’s hard to talk about anything else, right? Trauma is so defining, and we’ve already spent a lot of time together. I know you hate fish, have a weird crush on some old country singer, and think white chocolate is a crime against nature.”

“First of all, Evan Buckley, don’t talk about George Strait like that,” Eddie said, and Buck laughed. “And second, name one thing that you could put white chocolate on where it wouldn’t be better with dark chocolate?”

“I can’t,” Buck admitted with a grin. “Dark chocolate is always better.”

Eddie picked up his spring roll. “Did you ever watch the James Bond movies?”

“I tried,” Buck said. “But I couldn’t get past the way he treated women in the early movies. He’s a womanizer, and it’s gross. I assume the newer movies are better about it, but not so much that there isn’t a new one for each movie. Which means they’re probably still killing them off to motivate him or some weird shit.”

“Star Trek?”

“Everything. Sisko is my favorite captain, and I’ll accept no criticism,” Buck said firmly, and Eddie grinned. “And The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie.”

“Dude.” Eddie made a face. “Rogue One is the best Star Wars movie.”

“Everyone dies,” Buck said in a horrified tone. “What’s wrong with you?”

Eddie took a sip of water. “Yeah, but they gave everything they had for freedom and hope. That’s priceless, and it was the first time I’d cried over a movie since my sadistic ass mother let me watch Old Yeller when I was ten.”

“What’s…that about?” Buck questioned with a frown.

“It’s an old Disney movie about a boy who adopts a stray dog on the family farm. Eventually, the dog saves the kid from a wolf attack. The wolf turns out to have rabies, and Yeller gets it. So, the boy, whose father is away from home, has to be the man of the house and kill the dog.”

“Disney used to be savage,” Buck said and shook his head. “Well, they’re still kind of awful with the way they kill off parents left and right. Though I’m gonna be honest, I kind of always wished it would happen to me. I told my mother more than once that it would be great to be an orphan. I didn’t really understand the mechanics of that as Disney always sort of brushed over the details of parental death.”

“Yeah.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I never actually voiced it, but I used to wish my real parents would show up and save me. Once, I wrote a short story for English class about an alien kid who found out he was stolen and hidden on Earth. He ended up being adopted by an abusive human family. His real parents didn’t find him until he was a teenager. I was sent to the guidance counselor’s office, where I lied my ass off about my home life because I figured my father would kill me otherwise.”

“Do you still write?” Buck questioned. “Or was it just an assignment thing?”

“Just an assignment. I much preferred multimedia classes in high school and did everything I could to avoid English class and anything to do with it,” Eddie said.

“Did you always plan to join the Army?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t just an escape. I considered it a career plan, and I didn’t intend to leave until I retired,” Eddie said. “I worked hard and was a staff sergeant when I was discharged, which wasn’t exactly common for my age.”

“I’m sorry it was taken from you,” Buck said, and Eddie appeared startled. “It’s difficult and hurtful when your dreams are rearranged out from underneath you.”

“I worked through it,” Eddie said quietly and finished off his spring roll. “I’d come back just for these.”

“I stopped by a few times and gotten some to go,” Buck admitted. “As a snack since they wouldn’t make a meal. The FBI asked me how much weight I could carry.”

“I kind of remember talking about you carrying me,” Eddie said. “And Bobby talking about how much you should be lifting and carrying at this point. The one agent seemed surprised. I’ve forgotten his name again.”

“Don Eppes,” Buck supplied.

Eddie repeated the name under his breath. “Sounds familiar. I don’t think I’ve lost time at all today, but yesterday is kind of hazy. The headache is all but gone as long as I get Tylenol on a regular schedule.” He waved a hand. “Still one big bruise, though.”

Buck considered asking if the timing of the date was a good idea, and it must have shown on his face because Eddie gave him a dirty look.

“I really needed to get out of the house,” Eddie said. “Family keeps stopping by to look at me like they need to confirm that I’m alive with their own two eyeballs. If one more cousin walks by and pats me carefully on the shoulder, I’m gonna lose my mind, Buck.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I get how that could get to be a little much.”

“And Abuela just lets them in the house,” Eddie complained. “The only saving grace is my kid is cuter than me, and everyone quickly abandons me in favor of him.” He cleared his throat. “What did you want to be when you were in school? What did you run towards when you left home?”

“Adventure,” Buck said. “Change. I didn’t have a particular goal. My parents were so invested in making sure I didn’t have the mental energy to have a dream. I worked a few jobs here and there as I traveled. I spent almost two years on a ranch in Colorado, and I loved the work—I’d go to bed so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to worry about anything.

“I went all the way down to Peru and did some bartending. And got a license to be a massage therapist while I was there so I could work in a resort. It’s not valid here in the US, as I never bothered to go through the process to get certified again. When I came back to LA, I considered becoming a personal trainer, but that wasn’t particularly exciting. Did some construction work. One night, after work, I sort of got press-ganged into hanging out with a bunch of firefighters. One of them wanted in my pants.” He paused. “He succeeded.”

Eddie grinned. “Do I know him?”

“Henry Wayne at the 133,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded. “Anyways, he told me about his job and how much he loved it. I found the whole thing really interesting, so I did some research and applied at the academy since I’d done some volunteer work in Colorado when I worked on the ranch—I already had some certifications due to volunteering with FEMA as well. I’d done some mountain climbing as well, took classes, and collected skills along the way. I’ve always preferred outdoor activities, so I managed to work myself into a very good position to go the fire academy just because I’ve always been curious and need to be super active.”

“And you like it?”

“I love it,” Buck said. “Somewhere along the line, it started to feel like a calling, and I understand how priceless that is. I don’t think I really understood the difference between a job and a career until I started working for the LAFD.”

“I’m glad,” Eddie said. “Settling into a second career helped me a lot on the mental front. I was kind of at a loss after I was discharged from the Army and flailed a bit. Finding a place to belong was important to me.”

“I’m sorry that the situation at the 118 has made that transition difficult,” Buck said. “It makes me wish I’d gone at Chimney really hard about his behavior. I’d hoped it was just me, you know?”

“Abusive people rarely focus on a single person,” Eddie said. “And nothing he did is your fault.”

Buck nodded and took a sip of water as their food arrived. It looked amazing, and Eddie groaned a little as he picked up his fork, so he was pretty confident he’d made a great choice.

* * * *

“I should take the ice cream inside,” Eddie said.

“And get some rest,” Buck said and grinned when Eddie huffed. “You’re clearly exhausted, Eddie. You’ll get your stamina back—just give yourself a break.”

“Yeah, I know,” Eddie murmured and fiddled with the paper bag. “I had a good time tonight, and it wasn’t just about escaping my extended family’s concern. Also, that’s the best Thai I’ve had since I was actually in Thailand.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that trip,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded. “Need a spotter for the walk up that sidewalk?”

Eddie laughed. “No, I promise.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “But come here a sec and meet me halfway.”

Buck unfastened his own seatbelt and hummed when Eddie’s hand cupped the back of his head. The kiss was a little more than a brushing of lips, but it was sweet and perfect. Buck hadn’t been treated so carefully in years, and it was startling. He pulled back and wet his lips.

“Let me know when you’re ready to start working out. I’ll take you to the airfield so we can monitor you in a safe place in case there are lingering side effects of the concussion.”

“The doctor said ten days, but I’d like to see you again before that,” Eddie murmured. “Oh, that reminds me. I bribed Christopher with dessert and a two-hour trip to the park.” He paused. “With you.”

Buck grinned. “We can have a picnic.”

“Yeah?” Eddie questioned.

“Absolutely,” Buck said, and Eddie pressed another quick kiss against his mouth in response.

“Tell me the worst thing about you immediately,” Eddie ordered.

Buck paused to consider that. “Most of the people that knew me at the 118 would tell you that I don’t know how to commit, and it’s the worst thing about me.”

“What would you say?”

“I don’t know when to give up on people, and as a result, relationships explode in my face. I rarely see it coming,” Buck confessed.

“So, you think the worst thing about you is that you believe the best of people until they prove you wrong,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck blinked as he’d never really thought of it that way. “I guess, but I never really considered it from that perspective.”

Eddie grinned and shook his head.

“What?”

“My abuela just turned the porch light on. I think Christopher is to blame for her recent trolling behavior.”

Buck smiled and settled fully back into the driver’s seat. “Have a good night. Text me about the picnic thing, and I’ll make sure I’m available. You know my official schedule.”

“Drive safe and send me a text when you get home,” Eddie said and grabbed the ice cream as he opened up the door and slid out of the truck.

Buck stayed where he was until Eddie went into the house, and the porch light shut off. He put his seatbelt back on and put the truck into gear. After he pulled onto the highway, he called his sister.

“Hey, date over already? Did it go badly?”

“No, it went great,” Buck said. “In fact, it was the best first date I’ve had in a very long time. But he’s still recovering and was clearly tired, so I didn’t try to keep him out long.”

“Oh, good,” Maddie said warmly. “How did he like the food?”

“He loved it and said it was the best he’d had since he was actually in Thailand,” Buck said. “So, great call. What are you doing?”

“Laundry—I have a twelve-hour shift starting at midnight. It’s an emergency room shift, so I’m just trying to relax and stuff before the chaos starts.”

“I’ll let you go then,” Buck said. “I just wanted to touch base. Hey, what would I pack for a picnic for a kid?”

“I’ll ask Stacey at work and text you her suggestions,” Maddie said. “Because I haven’t a clue, personally. You should ask if he has any allergies.”

“I will,” Buck assured. “Have a good shift, and call me if you need anything or don’t want vending machine food.”

“Ha, you get some sleep. It’s Lou’s turn to bring me burritos at 2am. He doesn’t even have to work tomorrow.”

Buck laughed and shook his head when she said goodbye and hung up before he could return the favor. Since he had a piece of cherry cheesecake in his fridge, he headed for home.

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