Reading Time: 174 Minutes

Title: Firebreak
Author: Keira Marcos
Fandom: 9-1-1, San Andreas, Numb3rs
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Maddie Buckley/Lou Ransone, Other Canon Pairings
Genre: Romance, Alternate Universe, First Time, Slash
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Explicit Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Discussion-Original Character Death, Discussion-Canon Character Death, Character Bashing, Discussion-Dysfunctional Family Dynamics, Discussion-Domestic Violence, Discussion-Attempted Murder, Homophobia, Discussion-Mass Shooting, Discussion- Suicidal Ideation, Grammarly Beta
Word Count: 110,646
Summary: Evan Buckley only spent a month at the 118 after Eddie Diaz was hired before he was recruited by SAR. Eddie sees that as a missed opportunity in more than one way. He felt like he could’ve made a good friend if they’d had the time. Just one year later, fate would bring Buck back into his life in the exact moment Eddie needs him most.

---

Chapter 7

Eddie found himself hosting Ray Gaines at his grandmother’s picnic table the day after his date with Buck. The man had called so he could swing by with an official offer, which he apparently preferred to do in person. Of course, he’d managed to charm the pants off the whole household. Pepa had blushed like a schoolgirl, and he’d gotten the last glass of fresca in the house from his abuela.

“How are you?” Ray asked.

“Tired,” Eddie admitted. “Sleeping like crap.”

“Nightmares?”

“Thankfully, no,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “Because I expected them. I’ve had a session with my therapist over FaceTime since I can’t drive. My family is kind of driving me nuts since they keep showing up to stare at me.”

“Well, they had a stressful night,” Ray said easily. “Loving a first responder is not for the faint of heart.”

“Agreed,” Eddie said. “I think, somehow, it’s worse than when I was in the Army.”

“They weren’t intimately aware of your circumstances, which sometimes gets blasted all over media,” Ray said. “In theater, our actions were largely clouded, so they have this nebulous concern about our general welfare without knowing the how and why of how we might be hurt or killed. You know that makes a difference.”

Eddie nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“How’s your PTSD treating you?”

“My head was a mess when I was first discharged—I hated how my career had been taken from me, my wife left me without a word in the middle of the damn night, and I had a four-year-old disabled child in the house. I was using a cane but couldn’t trust myself to walk for more than ten minutes. So, the physical vulnerability and the emotional devastation piled on me. I can only be grateful that my sister Sophia stepped up and took charge before my parents could entrench themselves in my situation. She guarded my back like a dragon.

“I got therapy before and after I moved to LA to deal with the stress, change of circumstances, and the trauma of being shot in the line of duty.”

“Good,” Ray murmured and nodded. “Your parents aren’t supportive?”

“No, not at all. They’re pleased to brag about the medal and how I’m a hero, but they never wanted to hear about my injuries or how hurt I was by my service in every conceivable way.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I can’t say it didn’t make everything worse. They blamed me for my injuries, and my mother told me if I ended up permanently disabled, I deserved it for not doing what she wanted.”

“Well, she’s never welcome to any party I have,” Ray muttered, and Eddie laughed. “Your benefits and schedule would stay the same, and your salary would increase. I don’t have access to your employment file currently, so I don’t know what you’re making.”

“81,000,” Eddie said.

Ray nodded. “With or without a bilingual bonus?”

“What bilingual bonus?” Eddie questioned.

“Forgive me; I assumed that you’re fluent in Spanish.”

“Yes,” Eddie said. “And I’m conversational in Farsi with a smattering of Pashto. I couldn’t have a conversation in Pashto, but I could discern enough to understand what’s being said in a general way. I wouldn’t trust myself with an official translation in either language.”

“It’s an extra 1,200 a year, so we’ll get you sorted to apply for that,” Ray said. “And you’ll get a twenty percent increase in salary if you come to work for me.”

“Twenty percent,” Eddie repeated in shock.

“To start,” Ray said. “After six months, you’ll get another raise if your performance meets my standard. I’ll make sure it does. I expect a lot of my people, Eddie, so I make sure to wring every single penny I can out of the budget. The last thing any of you guys need is the struggle of paying your bills, and the need for a side hustle would interfere with your ability to be where I need you when I need you.” He paused. “How does that sound?”

“I’d be Buck’s partner,” Eddie clarified.

Ray stared for a moment, then nodded. “Most of the time. Buck rarely takes time off, but when he does, I have a handful of assets I rotate onto the team from the reserves. I make considered choices on that front because I have no time for glory hogs or people who do anything to get out of actual work.”

Eddie smiled then. “Buck said there’s no TV in the station.”

“It was the first thing I got rid of when I took over as captain. People can watch whatever they want on their phone on their breaks or during their rest time.” Ray shrugged. “I had some pushback, but not enough for me to change my mind.” He opened the folder in front of him and turned it around so Eddie could see the page. “The official offer and transfer request.”

The offer was a single-page letter, and he paused only briefly over the line about salary and took a deep breath. “Can I download the form for the bilingual bonus?”

“Unsure, but I’ll get it sorted when I get back in my office,” Ray said. “Buck mentioned bringing you in to use the gym in a few days.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I need to get back into the swing of things.”

“Then I’ll try to make sure that form is ready for you at that point. The resource manager for the station will handle submitting it.”

“Resource manager?” Eddie questioned.

“Ah, yes, a task force station is a big operation. Between ground apparatuses and the two helicopters—each shift has at least twenty firefighters. Each shift has its own manager who runs on the same schedule we do. They keep us stocked, on schedule, and they help the captains with administrative work.”

“And each shift has two captains.”

“Two captains, two engineers, and six operators. Each apparatus has an assigned operator and a backup operator in case of injury or necessity. Cohn McBride is the pilot, and I’m his usual backup, but there are two more certified pilots on our shift. The engine, ambulance, and the USAR apparatus have the same arrangement. It keeps us mobile and ready to respond.”

“You have two helicopters?”

Ray nodded. “There are times when all of us end up having to fly to a scene, but the main purpose for it is maintenance. One craft is always ready to go.”

“And you’re the task force commander over all the other five captains,” Eddie said. “Does that add to your workload?”

“It certainly can, which is why the RM is a godsend. Ours is Tilda Rolland, and I’d be lost without her.”

Eddie stared at the transfer request for a moment, so relieved that he could barely breathe. He’d believed both Bobby and Buck about the offer being forthcoming, but it was real and in front of him. “I don’t have a pen.”

A pen slid into place on top of the transfer form. “You okay? Head hurting?”

Eddie shook his head. “The headache is fine. You haven’t asked me about the 118.”

“Bobby Nash was explicitly honest with me about his failures on the subject of Howard Han,” Ray said. “At this point, it’s a matter for HR. I don’t know if you’ll be questioned or not since you never filed an official complaint. But the fact that he seems to target probationary firefighters is telling.”

“Oh.” Eddie frowned. “That’s…very true. We have one on shift right now. His name is Chad Rogers. Chimney went at him pretty much immediately. As if it was his job to make Chad earn his place at the station. It was almost pathological.”

“How did that work out?” Ray asked.

“Chad told him to choke on his dick,” Eddie admitted, and Ray Gaines laughed. “And he was actually kind of serious about it. Chad’s full of dude-bro attitude and white boy privilege. Chimney wasn’t prepared for that, I don’t think, since he probably saw that kid and thought of Buck, who is conflict-avoidant. It seems like Chad hasn’t met a conflict he didn’t want to have a fistfight with since the first grade.”

“Plus, he’s the deputy mayor’s grandson,” Ray said, and Eddie groaned. “Yeah, Howard Han stuck his foot in it with that, and it’s going to come back to haunt him. The rumor is that the kid didn’t even bother to speak to Nash about the behavior. He just went straight to HR a week ago and reported Howard Han for verbal abuse. His grandma is very upset that her precious grandbaby is being hazed on the job. But that’s just the rumor. Officially, I know nothing and said nothing to you about it.”

Eddie huffed, picked up the pen, and signed the request. “I want out of the range of that situation immediately, sir.”

“Consider it done,” Ray said easily. He set aside the offer letter, closed the folder, and picked it up. He finished off his drink and set the glass down with a look of disappointment. “There isn’t anymore?”

“You got the last glass,” Eddie said. “Which was a genuine sacrifice on my part, sir, and I expect it to be noted somewhere.”

Ray grinned. “I’m gonna get this recipe from your abuela before I leave and beg my wife to make it for me. The kids will love it.” He cleared his throat. “Does the thought of going up in a helicopter scare the hell out of you at this very minute?”

Eddie considered it. “Just a general sort of nervousness that I was already working through. It’s why I put those rescues on the list of ones I’d take when I was in reserves. I wanted to get past it. I must get past it. Knowing that I have the potential to hesitate on any job task is irritating. I thought the Army had trained that out of me.” He paused. “They certainly tried.”

Ray nodded. “We’ll work on it.”

“Apparently, I’m statistically unlikely to continue to have bad luck on the helicopter crash front. I’ve reached my lifetime probability.”

Ray Gaines stood. “I think you were actually incredibly lucky both times. Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.” He paused. “Even when you land in a tree.”

Eddie sighed and shook his head as the other man shrugged. “As you say, sir.”

* * * *

“You cool?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buck said and kicked his feet in the water a bit, then checked his watch as Sae finished her fourth lap around the pool. “Twenty.”

Thomas nodded. “Good date?”

“Great,” Buck said. “Is it a mistake to start dating the guy who’s going to be my work partner, though?”

Thomas shrugged. “You know Ray doesn’t care about our personal relationships as long as they don’t create drama in the station. And you’re seriously interested, right? It’s not just sex.”

“No, it’s not just sex,” Buck agreed and took a deep breath. “She’s doing great. Eddie has his deep water cert. We can invite him the next time we meet here. She’d probably like to train with someone who already has the cert.”

“Certainly, she learns better with hands-on instruction, and the next class for the certification isn’t for six months. She can test in Santa Monica next month if she can keep her current average. She needs a spotter on her equipment prep,” Thomas said. “He has his close quarters cert, too, right?”

“Right,” Buck said. “I tried when I first got on the job, but the instructor told me I was already pushing the size limit on that, and if I got any bigger, I’d be more of a hindrance than help in a close-quarter environment. He had a point. I studied the material and could certainly pass the certification unless they tried to make me squeeze into a Sae-sized hole.”

“And those bastards would,” Thomas said, and Buck laughed. “I didn’t even bother asking about it once they started talking about the actual testing requirements. The instructor seemed relieved that he didn’t have to give me the dude, you’re too big for this speech.”

Buck laughed. “I was too tall for some of the rides at Disneyland. Super disappointing.”

“I had that experience at the pier in Santa Monica,” Thomas admitted. “But I get it—I wouldn’t want to get my head knocked off.”

“Granted,” Buck muttered. “But it seems like they should have at least eight feet of clearance on those things anyway. I probably could’ve done the close quarter cert more easily while I was at the 118, but I’ve put on thirty pounds of muscle since joining the 56. The instructor was probably right.” He frowned. “Still, I hate that I didn’t at least try.”

“Well, you can’t bring everything to the table. That’s why we have a team,” Thomas said and laughed when Buck huffed.

Sae came up for air, one hand landing on the pool edge between them. “Time?”

“You’re averaging twenty-one seconds a lap,” Thomas said as he checked his watch. “That’s just over a second a yard.”

She nodded. “That’s good.”

“Better than needed,” Buck said. “You ready for a break?”

“Nah, I’m gonna do twenty more.” She pushed away from the wall and started again.

Buck shrugged, slid into the water, and moved to a different lane to make use of the time they had left on their reservation. When he finished the first lap, he noted that Thomas had done the same. There was something soothing about moving in the water with members of his team. Sae and Thomas were always game to do whatever activity he had in mind for extra workouts, though Sae favored the pool and Thomas preferred climbing facilities.

He wondered how Eddie would fit in with them and hoped it would go better on the social front than it had with Jason. His former partner was a great guy and very good at the job. They just didn’t gel, and that lack of compatibility had followed them off the job. They’d tried for a while and had even gone camping a few times to try to build something. Plus, they’d had some rather lackluster sex as well before they’d given up trying to create something that just wasn’t in the cards for them. All in all, the average sex bothered him the most. He was great in bed, and Jason had assured him the same. They were both just genuinely flummoxed by the whole thing and had agreed to never tell anyone that it had happened at all.

* * * *

Eddie pulled a load of clothes out of the dryer, relieved to be at home with his own things. His Tía Pepa had followed him, and Christopher had ridden with her just in case, but Eddie had felt confident in driving home. His son loved spending time at his abuelita’s house but had clearly started missing his own bed and things. He folded Christopher’s things first, put them in the basket, and focused on his own. Buck’s T-shirt got put to the side and he only waffled briefly over the sweatpants before he folded them and put them in the basket. He’d give them back eventually, but they were more comfortable on his body because of the bruising than anything he had for lounging. And that was the story he planned to tell if Buck asked.

He put the T-shirt with his work bag and wondered if he should call Bobby about cleaning out his locker at the 118. Eddie didn’t know if he should do it during and off-shift or not. He wasn’t going to slink out with his tail between his legs, but he also didn’t want to cross paths with Chimney, either. There was nothing left to say, and Eddie wasn’t interested in wasting more time on that situation.

Eddie decided to send a text to Bobby about it and wait for an answer. Tomorrow was a B-shift day, so maybe it was a good time to go do it. Once the text was sent, he put the clothes away and went in search of his son. Christopher was at his desk doing homework. He had several worksheets spread out in front of him, as he tended to move between them when left to his own devices. Eddie watched for a few moments.

“Did you need something, Daddy?” Christopher asked as he wrote. “I’m almost done with math.”

“Just checking in,” Eddie said and leaned on the door frame. “Did you want something in particular for dinner?”

“Breakfast,” Christopher said and started to erase something. “An omelet with salsa.”

“Bacon or sausage?”

“Ham,” Christopher suggested.

“Ham it is,” Eddie said and left the doorway. He went into the kitchen to take care of dinner.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he pulled it out. There was no response from Bobby, but there was something new from Buck. Eddie’s stomach tightened a little in anticipation.

Buck: Did you want to go to the park on Saturday? Any food allergies?

Eddie: Saturday would be great and Christopher is allergic to kiwi. Have a good day?

Buck: Yeah I did some swimming and helped Jason sell some of his stuff. Mostly just being his backup for meets to swap cash for the crap he doesn’t want to haul to Washington.

Buck: Busy?

Eddie: About to start dinner. Chris asked for breakfast. Want to join us? Bacon, sausage or ham? We’re at home now. You remember the address?

Buck: I’d love to and yeah I remember where you live. Bacon and sausage? I’ll be there in 20

Eddie laughed and sent a thumbs-up. He put the phone down and focused on cooking the meat since it would take the longest. A chime indicated another text coming through shortly after he got the bacon finished and drained.

Bobby: I can handle it for you tonight and bring everything when I get off duty in the morning. I’ll have to find a bag big enough for both sets of turnouts. Did you have anything in the gym?

Eddie: I have some hand weights in the gym. The blue ones. They have my name on them. And thanks Bobby.

Bobby: No problem

“Hey, Daddy, can I help?”

Eddie added sausage to the skillet and started to break it up. “You can set the table—for three.”

“Three?” Christopher questioned. “Who’s coming to dinner? Carla?”

“Buck.”

“Oh, great!”

Eddie pulled out plates and glasses from the cabinet above Christopher’s reach and left them on the counter. His son moved back and forth from the table to the counter using one crutch. Eddie watched for a few moments, taking in the easy way his son moved now. Physical therapy was doing everything it could for him, but he knew there was going to be another surgery soon due to Christopher’s growth. They couldn’t let his muscles get too tight as he got taller, or he’d end up in a wheelchair. He knew that was the last thing Christopher wanted.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to work for Captain Ray now?”

“Yes, when I go back to work, I’ll have a new station and team. Buck will be my partner. It’s a good move for me, and I’ll even make more money.”

“Okay.”

Eddie glanced toward Christopher and found him carefully putting napkins in place beside the plates. He smiled as normally they ended up in a pile in the middle of the table. His kid was clearly pulling out the stops for their guest.

“Is something wrong?”

“I can still be friends with Denny and Harry, right?” Christopher said.

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie confirmed quickly, and Christopher’s shoulders relaxed. He made a mental note to send a text to Hen and Athena about the subject to avoid any confusion.

The doorbell rang, and his phone lit up on the counter. Eddie picked it up to check the camera. He’d installed a Ring doorbell in response to his parents’ bullshit. He had several videos saved from their last visit, as his mother had thrown a homophobic fit on the porch because Eddie had mentioned going on a date with a guy.

“Is it Buck?” Christopher questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and stared for a moment because even on the doorbell camera, the man was gorgeous. He moved the sausage off the heat. “Don’t go near the stove, Mijo.”

“I won’t, promise,” Christopher said as he went to get the basket they used for silverware. “I don’t do dumb stuff.”

Eddie laughed. “Accidents happen.” He left the kitchen quickly and went to the door. Buck was on his phone when he opened the door. “Hey, we’re in the kitchen.”

“Hi,” Buck said with a smile and put away his phone. “I left Sae and Thomas at a karaoke bar. Neither one of them can sing, have no shame, and are pretty enough that people keep encouraging them to try.”

Eddie laughed and stepped back to let him in. “I didn’t mean to interrupt a night out with your friends.”

“You saved me,” Buck assured as he shed his jacket, which he hung up by the door. “I love the smell of bacon.”

“I know. I’d eat it at every meal if I could,” Eddie confessed as they headed back to the kitchen.

“Hi, Buck,” Christopher said cheerfully. “We’re having breakfast for dinner.”

“It’s the best meal of the day,” Buck said easily. “Can I help?”

“You can cut the peppers.” Eddie motioned toward the cutting board, where he had two bell peppers washed and ready to go. He pulled the sausage back onto 0the heat and picked up the spatula. “Did you spend the whole afternoon with Sae and Thomas?”

“Yeah, it was swim day.”

“What’s swim day?” Christopher questioned. “Did you go to the beach?”

“We do sometimes,” Buck said. “Sae likes to surf. Today, we went to the aquatic center and swam for two hours. Sae’s getting ready for another certification and wants to build up her stamina. Do you like the ocean?”

“I like the beach,” Christopher said. “I want to take surfing lessons.”

“Sounds like fun,” Buck said and glanced toward Eddie. “Is that on the agenda?”

“We’re looking for an instructor,” Eddie said. “There are a few that work with disabled children, but there are waiting lists. We’re on two.”

“That’s great,” Buck said as he efficiently cut the pepper up. “It’s a good sport for strength and balance training.”

Eddie wondered how the man had continued to build up his whole cooking journey without Bobby Nash. He didn’t know how to ask because he didn’t want to poke a sore spot, so he focused on draining the grease from the sausage.

“Do you exercise every day?” Christopher asked. “I have to do PT in the mornings. Just stretches, and I go to a therapist twice a week. Daddy works out every day unless he’s concussed.” He paused. “Then he’s lazy about it.”

Eddie laughed. “He’s been salty because I made him stretch and supervised from the couch.”

Buck grinned. “Pretty rude, Eds. Yeah, I exercise every day. I try to mix it up so I don’t get bored. Going to the gym every day can get repetitive. I climb, run, swim, hike, and lift weights. I have a Pilates table at home. You might have seen one at the physical therapist’s office.”

“The Cadillac,” Christopher said with a nod. “I use it for flexibility exercises sometimes. It’s fun, but it makes me sore, so I only do that once or twice a month right now. Dr. Netty says I can do it more in the future, probably after my next surgery.”

Eddie was relieved by the casual way his son brought that up because it had been an uphill battle to convince the kid that surgery was not only necessary but something he really wanted. He blamed his own mother for Christopher’s fear, as she’d been adamantly opposed to every single surgery. He’d had to work extra hard to frame the surgeries as part of his son’s road to independence.

“I’m ready with this,” Buck said.

Eddie tossed a bit of oil in the pan, and Buck transferred the peppers into the skillet. “I didn’t ask, are omelets okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“How many eggs do you need in yours?”

“Is toast on the menu?”

“Yeah, we have whole wheat and sourdough.”

“Four eggs then,” Buck said. “I need at least another thousand calories since I’m at a deficit right now. I’ll have a protein shake before bed, at any rate.”

Eddie nodded and glanced toward his son, who had slid into a chair at the table. He was staring at them. “What?”

“What’s it mean to be at a deficit?” Christopher asked with a scrunched-up nose.

“Buck has to eat a lot to maintain his muscle mass,” Eddie said. “So, when he exercises, he expends a lot of calories, and his intake has to at least match. Otherwise, he’ll start to lose weight. Since he has precious little body fat, he’d lose muscle, which would impact his stamina, strength, and endurance. All things he needs for the job.”

“Do you keep track of that stuff?”

“Yeah, of course,” Eddie said with a grin, and his son huffed. “But I don’t have to work as hard as Buck does since my body type and frame really isn’t meant for that kind of muscle mass. The sourdough is in the fridge, Buck. It’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah,” Buck said with a quick glance in his direction. “You remember that?”

“You always ordered sourdough on your sandwiches—practically every shift,” Eddie pointed out. “No one else did. So, it stood out.”

Buck pulled the bread from the fridge and went to the toaster. “Christopher, did you want toast?”

“Yes, please,” Christopher said. “Sourdough, too.”

“I’ll just take a single slice,” Eddie said. “I’ve had way too many carbs today.” He paused. “Abuela sent us home with cake. I’m ashamed to say we had it for lunch.”

Buck laughed. “Everyone’s allowed a cheat day. Just one slice for him as well, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and started cracking eggs into a bowl. “What kind of cheese did you want, Mijo?”

“Cheddar.”

“Yeah, definitely cheddar,” Buck said in agreement. “I mean, if you care what I want.”

Eddie laughed. “Sure, Buck, I care about your cheese preferences.”

“That was so insincere,” Buck muttered, and Christopher laughed.

* * * *

Buck shifted on the couch as Eddie returned to the living room. Christopher hadn’t wanted to go to bed while Buck was still there but had eventually given in to the whole thing after a few minutes of huffy arguments.

“He passed right out,” Eddie said. “I knew he would.” He slid onto the couch beside him. “I signed the transfer request. Bobby is going to clean out my locker for me tonight and bring me my gear.”

Buck nodded. “It’s better that way. I cleaned out during C shift when I left just to avoid conversations. Well, I had several conversations while I was doing it, but it wasn’t with anyone who would’ve emotionally blackmailed me over my choice. The thing is that Bobby fosters a vibe that feels like family, for good and bad, and that can create strong friendships.”

“It can also create toxic relationships,” Eddie muttered. “Chad Rogers is the deputy mayor’s grandson.”

Buck turned to stare at him. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll get an ear full next time you’re on shift. Chim fucked around, and he’s about to find out,” Eddie muttered and turned around so he could face Buck. “What’s on your agenda for tomorrow?”

“We’re going to meet up at Jason’s to do a final clean and document everything so his landlord can’t claim anything stupid when it comes to his security deposit. He’s just two months out from a lease renewal, so he asked to be released early, and the guy agreed. Should be finished by lunch, then I’ll probably go to the airfield to workout since Thomas has plans with his mom and Sae is heading to San Diego. They were off today because both helos were in maintenance after the forest fire. They had a choice between PTO and joining the ground team. Since neither has taken a vacation day in over a year, Ray made the decision for them. Otherwise, Thomas would be at work.”

Eddie hummed under his breath. “Does that happen often?”

“He does have to force vacation days on people, yeah,” Buck admitted. “Me included. Normally, I’d have complained a little about having two shifts off, but having a gun in my face sort of threw me off stride.”

“I think…I remember you doing great,” Eddie said quietly. “Very calm under pressure.”

“You were disturbingly coherent during a lot of that, so I don’t know what you remember and what you don’t,” Buck confessed. “You talked about your parents a bit.”

“I remember that,” Eddie said with a nod. “But I don’t remember much about you carrying me out of the forest.”

“That’s probably for the best. I didn’t have a lot of time, so I had to move fast,” Buck said. “I used a whole SBCA getting out there, dumped that, and hooked up a second one for myself, then set you up with the other. The smoke got thick, and I knew I couldn’t afford to get smoke inhalation. I worried that I was going to have to make a choice between us when it came to breathable air.”

“Well, you’d have had to choose yourself in order to get us both out,” Eddie pointed out reasonably, and Buck made a face. “I trust you, Buck, to make a hard call like that. A little smoke inhalation would be a small price to pay for getting out of that situation whole and home to my son.”

“One of the first rescues I had with the 56 was two hikers,” Buck said quietly. “They fell into a crevice and had been missing for three days. She broke her leg, and one of his hands was pinned. He had to cut off two of his fingers to get his hand free. Then he wrapped it up and climbed out of that crevice to get help. They’d run out of food and water the day before. Searchers found him, and he told them where she was. He tried to lead them back to her, in fact.

“Sae and I went down into the crevice, and she was bad off. Another hour or so, and she probably wouldn’t have made it. She asked where he was, kept calling out for him, and all I could think was that I’d never had anyone love me like that before. I heard he tried to fight evac because he didn’t want to leave without her.”

“Survival situations like that make or break a couple,” Eddie said. “Does it bother you that you’ll never know what happened to them?”

“Nah, because they showed up at the airfield a few months later. He was relieved to have not cut off his ring finger since they’d gotten married a couple of weeks before visiting us,” Buck said. “But, yeah, sometimes I wonder what happens after we leave victims. It’s hard not to. I think sometimes people don’t want to see the people who were part of very traumatic experiences, and I get that, too.”

Buck stared for a moment and caught Eddie’s hand in his own. He rubbed his thumb over the top of the other man’s hand and took a deep breath. “Do you think we can have this and work together, too?”

“I really want to try,” Eddie confessed.

“Is this a casual thing for you?” Buck questioned. “Because I think the sex is going to be amazing, but messing up what I know will be a great working relationship with just sex is a mistake.”

“It wouldn’t be casual for me,” Eddie said. “You?”

“I don’t….” Buck cleared his throat. “I couldn’t play that kind of game with a single parent, Eddie. Little kids get invested. I wouldn’t even be sitting with you like this if there was a single part of me that wanted any sort of casual with you.”

“He likes you a lot,” Eddie said. “And did from the very start. He was disappointed that you never came back around, and I had a hard time explaining how you left the 118 without giving him details. He’s already asked me if he can still be friends with Denny Wilson and Harry Grant. He was worried that my transfer would cut those friendships off.”

“Do you think he thought that because I just disappeared?” Buck asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” Eddie said. “He’s lost friends through three school changes in the last few years. The move to Durand was good for him, but it meant a new school and new relationships. Most of the kids in the public school were able bodied and they had activities that he couldn’t participate in. That made keeping those friendships difficult after the transfer to the private school. Also, two different parents got snotty with me about the private school thing. I made a mistake with that, admitting I’d gotten an educational grant for it. One of the moms said that it wasn’t fair that I was conning the state out of money for a private school education just because my son had to use crutches.”

“That’s ugly,” Buck said mildly.

“Yeah, she had some other isms going on as well. She asked me if Christopher was adopted because he doesn’t look mixed. In truth, he looks a lot like my maternal grandfather, which I think plays a role in my mother’s obsession with having custody of him. It’s like she thinks he belongs to her because of it.”

“Irrational, but I can see how someone with issues could get there,” Buck said. “What’s the likelihood of Christopher getting up?”

“I’ll hear him,” Eddie murmured and slid down the couch.

Buck curled his hands into the sweatpants Eddie was wearing and pulled him in. “How’s the bruising?”

“Not too bad,” Eddie said and cupped the back of Buck’s head. “I’m really happy to be having this moment with you.”

“Yeah?”

“And I’m looking forward to more.”

“Smooth,” Buck said with a grin, and Eddie laughed a little against his mouth as he sought a kiss.

It started soft and sweet, and Buck worked to keep it that way because he really didn’t want to get caught making out like a teenager on the couch by an eight-year-old. Eddie was fit and strong, and it was exciting to have a partner who could meet him on a physical front.

“What’s your sex date?” Buck questioned.

And Eddie grinned. “It depends.” He relaxed against Buck’s chest. “If it’s only going to be sex, I don’t even bother to date.”

“Granted.”

“Let’s just not stress that part and let it happen when it happens,” Eddie murmured. “I got some testing done last month, and I’m good on that front.”

“I’m going to get it done because it’s been a while,” Buck murmured and wet his lips. “I’m good with either position, and I don’t have any issues with latex. You?”

“Same,” Eddie said. “Why ask?”

“You think I’ve got a reason?” Buck asked in amusement.

“Yeah, I think you do.”

“Gah,” Buck muttered and huffed when Eddie grinned. “I dated this woman before Ali who got weird with me after the second date, and I couldn’t figure out what I’d done because she still said yes to another date. On the fourth date, she sort of just demanded to know why I wasn’t interested in having sex with her. I told her I was, but I wasn’t going to pressure her for it. And she told me that the second date was her sex date, and she couldn’t figure out why she hadn’t already gotten laid.”

“Shut up,” Eddie said and slouched down across Buck’s lap with a laugh. “Seriously? What’d you do?”

“I took her home, gave her what she wanted, and never called her again,” Buck said with a shrug. “It was clear it was all she wanted, and I know how to make an exit.” He let a hand rest on Eddie’s hip as they settled together. “When does your ex have visitation?”

“She doesn’t.”

Buck took a deep breath. “Why? Did she do something to him?”

“Nothing physical,” Eddie assured, and Buck relaxed a little. “I filed for divorce when she tried to initiate an affair with me but made it clear she wasn’t ready to see Christopher. I was furious. Things got ugly, and she admitted in court that she felt pressured to keep the pregnancy and marry me. She said she’d have preferred to never have children at all. I filed to have her rights terminated, and she didn’t fight it at all.”

“That had to be stressful as fuck,” Buck said.

“My parents were celebratory the entire time—like it was a party or something. The day after it was final, my mother called me and told me I was sending Christopher to her for half the year.”

“What?” Buck asked in confusion.

“I’m serious. I didn’t even comprehend what she was saying at first. She said she was going to be Christopher’s mother from now on, and I would just have to deal with it. I’ve been having one verbal battle with her after another since.”

“She needs…psychological help,” Buck said quietly. “Sorry.”

“No, she does,” Eddie said wearily. “We’re in a holding pattern until she talks my father into paying to sue me for custody. Right now, his fear of being disowned by his only son and his mother is winning out over her nagging. They don’t have grounds, and it’ll ruin them, but my mom is fixated and so controlling that she can’t see past what she wants to even notice that Christopher avoided her the last time they were here.”

“People like that rarely care about the damage they cause,” Buck said. “Do you have a plan for him if something were to happen to you?”

“Yeah, of course. I have a whole list of potential guardians and explicit details regarding why my parents can’t have custody. I’ve included evidence of their homophobia and ableism as well,” Eddie said quietly. “I’m sorry that woman used you for sex.”

“I enjoy sex,” Buck said frankly. “But I thought we had potential for more, and she clearly didn’t. If she had, she would’ve texted or called, right?”

“Right,” Eddie murmured.

“I should go,” Buck said with a glance toward his watch. “I’ve got an early morning. Jason rises with the sun when left to his own devices.”

Eddie shifted around, pressed a soft, warm kiss against his mouth, and left the couch. He pulled Buck with him. “Text me when you get home?”

Buck smiled. “Yeah.”

Chapter 8

“Cosmo told me he’d hunt you down like a dog if you don’t call him at some point,” Bobby said as he put the two bags down by the door.

Eddie smiled. “Yeah, of course. Did you want to come in?”

“Long shift,” Bobby said and nodded. “And frustrating.”

“Chim?” Eddie motioned him inside.

“About an hour before shift ended, he saw me cleaning out your locker. He asked me if you’d been fired, which was insane, and I laughed. I told him that you’d transferred into SAR permanently, and he got weird about it. He asked me how getting in another helicopter crash equaled you getting a better-paying job and that you hadn’t been a firefighter long enough to earn it.” Bobby waved a hand. “There was some more bullshit about how other, more experienced firefighters deserved the opportunity.”

“He meant himself,” Eddie muttered.

“Chimney knows he’d never qualify for that duty,” Bobby said. “And it pisses him off. He said some of the same things when Buck transferred. He doesn’t even qualify for SAR reserves, which he finds insulting. He said he shouldn’t have to get the SARTECH II and that his on-the-job experience should trump certifications.”

“He’s not stupid,” Eddie said. “So, is that just arrogance or ego?”

“He has a fragile ego.” Bobby rubbed his face. “And HR has been dragging their feet for months about dealing with him because of problems with one of his previous captains. The man was forced to retire, and most of the shift was reorganized in response to a series of complaints regarding bigotry. He was a real bastard, honestly. But Chimney’s been riding that trauma for years. I’m not discounting how toxic that whole situation was, but he’s been weaponizing it to justify his own bad behavior, and HR hasn’t been helping.”

“Want a bottle of water?” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Bobby said and stood to follow him into the kitchen. “There’s a complaint making its way through the system.”

“It’s not from me.” Eddie pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and offered it. “If I were going to do that, I’d have already done it.”

“I know who did it, and it’s going to ruin Chimney’s career with the LAFD. I’m so relieved, and I can’t make myself pretend otherwise right now, Eddie.”

“Feel free to be relieved in my kitchen,” Eddie said and sat down at the kitchen table when Bobby did. “His behavior has made things difficult for you, and that’s been going on for a while. Chimney can’t shoulder all the blame for how your relationship with Buck went down the toilet, but he played a significant role.”

“No, I know that was mostly my fault,” Bobby said. “Buck should’ve been able to trust me to have his back and protect him on the job. I didn’t, and I paid for it. I’m probably going to pay for a very long time. There wasn’t much I could do to Chimney concerning how he treated Buck because there was never an official complaint, and HR said the optics would be bad if I disciplined Chimney for what amounted to rumor.”

“Then I didn’t come to you with it until I was near nuclear,” Eddie said.

“And again, no official complaint,” Bobby murmured. “And I get why you didn’t, Eddie. I wouldn’t want that accusation to be documented either.”

“I certainly didn’t want to be the probationary firefighter that ruined another firefighter’s career because I was oversensitive,” Eddie muttered. “And more than one person framed it that way to me when they realized just how furious I was with Chimney’s bullshit questions about my divorce.” He exhaled. “And the size of my dick.”

“What?” Bobby questioned in shock.

“Yeah, he also suggested I must be terrible in bed since I couldn’t keep my wife at home.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

Bobby stared. “What?”

Eddie laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t consider that shit all that bad considering some of the other stuff he said. But you know what sealed the deal.”

“Yeah, I do,” Bobby said quietly. “I made sure to never ever discuss that at home to make sure Harry wouldn’t overhear a bit of it. I told Hen the same, and she agreed that we couldn’t risk that crap ever getting back to Christopher through Harry or Denny.” He took a deep drink of water out of his bottle and shook his head. “Who the hell actually speculates about the size of another man’s dick?”

“Well, men who want to fuck other men do,” Eddie said wryly, and Bobby flushed. “But otherwise, it’s a weird sort of macho bullshit thing that I don’t get at all.”

“Wait?” Bobby huffed a little. “Is that why Vasquez made that weird announcement four months ago?”

Eddie grinned and shrugged. “Not getting it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to prove Chim wrong on both counts. And if there is a single person at the 118 that will brag about the sex they have without an ounce of shame, it is Mal Vasquez, and it wasn’t exactly a sacrifice on my part. Mal’s hot.”

Mal had come into the 118 after they’d spent the night together, announced to the whole shift that they’d gotten utterly dicked down and that Chim was a lying liar who lied. Then, they’d refused to say anything else no matter how much they got prodded. Eddie had just pretended to not know what they were talking about, and Chimney had stomped around glaring at everyone for weeks.

“It took me a week to finally ask Athena what dicked down even means,” Bobby complained. “And after she stopped laughing, she explained it.”

Eddie laughed. “Sorry?”

“You aren’t even the one that said it,” Bobby muttered and went to the fridge. He refilled his bottle from the dispenser in the door. “I did want to let you know that you’ll probably be questioned by HR concerning the complaint that is coming.” He paused. “You were on a list of people that might be called in to answer questions as a witness.”

“The only thing I witnessed was the aftermath,” Eddie said. “Or at least, I witnessed the response to what I assumed to be slut-shaming. I don’t know if it happened more than once, and Chad just lost his patience or what.”

“I warned Chim twice and sent him home for half a shift when I caught him talking shit to Rogers. Fortunately, for my own career, I’ve documented every single incident that I witnessed and followed the disciplinary action plan given to me by HR. I even told Chim that Rogers had a relative in the city government. It wasn’t enough, but I didn’t think telling Chim that Chad’s grandmother was the deputy mayor would actually do the kid any favors.”

“Did you know that when you hired him?” Eddie questioned.

“It was no secret while he was at the academy. She tried to stick her nose into the whole thing because he was coming home exhausted from class, and she thought that was inappropriate.” Bobby sat back down. “But he apologized to all the instructors for it. He didn’t leverage the relationship to get a job if that’s your question, and I wouldn’t have taken him if he hadn’t worked his ass off at the academy. He graduated in the top three.”

“He’s young and arrogant, but there’s potential,” Eddie said. “The arrogance will get rubbed off sooner rather than later.” He paused. “He’s also a little on the softer side, that he works hard to hide, so be prepared for that.”

“What do you mean?” Bobby questioned.

“I caught him crying at a Budweiser puppy commercial he was watching on his phone,” Eddie said in amusement, and Bobby huffed.

“Those commercials are sweet, Eddie! The one where he got on the horse trailer and the wolves almost get him….” He huffed when he caught Eddie grinning at him. “Shut up.”

“I’m just saying he’s probably going to cry the first time something seriously fucked up happens,” Eddie said. “Or…well. Kids, you know.”

“Kids,” Bobby said and nodded. “I honestly wouldn’t want a firefighter on my team that would be unmoved by that. As long as he can maintain to do the job, then his emotional reactions afterward are what they are.”

* * * *

Station 56 was huge. Eddie hadn’t ever managed to be stationed there during his time in the reserves. There were two landing pads, but only one helicopter was there.

“The second one has been sent to the 27,” Buck said as he shouldered his bag. “They only had one since most of their workload is central to their station and ground-based.”

Eddie nodded. “Have we gotten any word on a funeral for Chuck?”

“His family comes from Arizona, and his wife’s made arrangements to take him back to his hometown,” Buck explained. “He’ll be buried in a military cemetery there with full honors.”

“That’s good,” Eddie said. “He always talked about how he’d retire there eventually near his brother’s family. Will there be a memorial service here?”

“The captain at the 27 will do it, certainly,” Buck said. “We’ll get an email when everything is ready, and if we’re on shift, they’ll rotate downtime hours so everyone on duty can attend the event that wants to.”

Eddie pulled out the bag full of his locker stuff and his turnouts. “Are you sure I can go ahead and set up?”

“Yeah, Cohn told me to tell you to bring your turnouts in at least so that he look them over.”

“I washed the liners yesterday, checked for damage, and tested my drag rescue device for each set,” Eddie said. “I didn’t find anything that needed to be replaced or repaired.”

“Cohn’s a stickler, so don’t be offended,” Buck advised. “Each shift has its own ready room, which houses our turnouts and lockers. We have fully enclosed shower stalls, and individual bathrooms. Nothing is separated by gender. Outside of the shower stall, we’re required to be public beach-ready. So, top and bottoms for biological females and at least bottoms for biological males. Of course, Ray has a personal rule about that as well.”

“Which is?” Eddie asked in amusement as they entered through an employee-only entrance after Buck put in a code.

“No sexy underwear,” Buck said wryly. “Thomas calls it the Hanes Policy. Thomas announced early on he couldn’t meet that rule since he’s sexy in everything he wears. Ray just stared at him until he apologized and promised to buy a whole collection of plain, old-man underwear from Target. I’m still very disappointed to have missed that conversation.”

“I don’t think I even own what anyone would consider sexy underwear,” Eddie admitted, and Buck laughed. “Seriously.”

“You don’t need accessories, to be honest,” Buck said, and Eddie’s face heated with a blush. “The gym is through that door, and this is our ready room.”

The door had an A on it. He noted there were three more in the hall appropriately lettered by shift. There was a fourth room with an R on it.

“Reserves?” Eddie asked with a motion toward the door directly across the hall. “The 27 didn’t have this kind of setup.”

“Yeah, reserves,” Buck said. “Some people float in and out of the 56 on a quarterly basis, and they use the reserve ready room as well since they don’t get permanent locker space. As for the setup, four out of six captains at this station are former military. They’ve tailored the space to suit their preferred work style.” He paused. “Gaines, Banks, Alvarez, and Coltrane are former military. Turner joined the LAFD shortly after he turned eighteen, and he thrives on order. Jefferson volunteered with the Peace Corps for ten years, came home, went to the academy, and joined the LAFD. Gaines and Alvarez are A shift. Coltrane and Turner run B, and Banks and Jefferson run C. Over the last year, I’ve worked for all six of them.”

“Who’s your favorite?” Eddie asked as Buck motioned him toward the empty locker space.

“I’m required to say Ray.” Buck shrugged when Eddie looked his way. “Even when he’s not in the room. Ray sees all.”

“Ray hears all,” a voice said from behind them.

“And Ray also talks about himself in the third person,” Buck said dryly, and their captain laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“Got abandoned at home,” Ray said. “I was not needed nor wanted for mani-pedi day. So, I came in to get my workout in.”

“Well, maybe not wanted,” Buck muttered. “But I’ve seen your feet, and I know a pedicure wouldn’t hurt a damn thing.”

Ray frowned. “The last time I took the girls to get pedicures, they made me get my toenails painted pink.”

“I believe that nail polish was called Ballet Slippers, right?” Bucks asked with a grin. “It was a great color for you.”

“Made you?” Eddie questioned as he started to hang up his turnouts.

“The two of those girls together probably weigh less than 150 pounds,” Buck muttered, and Ray laughed. “Mallory is ten, and Blake is twelve.”

Eddie straightened out his coat and stared for a moment. Each firefighter had their own open area to hang their turnouts beside a large locker. It was a good setup, and it already felt like his personal area. Which was comforting in a way he hadn’t expected but appreciated.

“Weird?” Buck questioned.

“A little but also relieving,” Eddie admitted. “I’m used to seeing them hang with everyone else’s.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe I should’ve gone and removed everything myself instead of letting Bobby pack for me.”

“Well, there was no need to give Chimney a chance to take another dig at you,” Buck said.

“I heard he had a lot to say about my undeserved transfer,” Eddie admitted. “But then he always tries to tear people down who don’t coast on the job collecting experience like that’s the only thing that counts. He told me once that recertifications were insulting because he shouldn’t have to prove himself over and over again.”

“That kind of entitlement is baked in,” Ray said. “I’ll meet you in the gym. I’d like to see how you’re moving.”

“I’ve got another six days of medical, sir,” Eddie said.

“I received your file this morning.” Ray glanced him over and walked away with a nod.

“Is he always like that?”

“He’s very comfortable in his authority,” Buck said in amusement. “I suppose that’s a military thing.”

“Meaning what?”

“You expect to be obeyed when you give an order,” Buck said and shrugged. “You have a tone when you know what to do and expect others to follow your lead.”

“In an overbearing way? Because I’ve tried to let that stuff go,” Eddie said as he finished setting up his locker. He closed it, glanced around to verify that the others were using locks, and hooked his own lock into place. “Do we give the second key to the captain or the resource manager?”

“No, not overbearing. You’re just confident, which is a feature, not a flaw. Tilda is the keeper of the keys around here,” Buck said. “That way, if someone needs their wallet or anything from their locker after an injury, she can grab what you need and come to the hospital with it. But you can give it to Ray today, and he’ll make sure she gets it.”

Eddie nodded.

“Want to see the apparatuses before the gym?” Buck questioned.

“You guys have the big USAR, right?”

“Yeah, it’s bigger than a ladder truck. It has a crane that can also act as a ladder, and the cab is big enough for incident command. We have two USAR support trucks that are modified F-350s. We need to be able to move in a variety of ways and move quickly for search operations.”

Eddie followed Buck into the bay and huffed a little at the sight of the USAR apparatus. It was the reason why the station was so big, certainly. It was basically an 18-wheeler that had been designed specifically for search and rescue. He knew that there were several in the LAFD. After a few moments of peeking in the windows, Eddie let himself be guided into the gym, which pretty much looked like a commercial facility. He wasn’t even surprised. Several people were on treadmills, and there were a pair of women in a boxing ring sparring.

The room itself had a high ceiling, and the entire back of the building was a climbing wall that extended up across the ceiling. Eddie shook his head. Ray Gaines was lifting weights with another man acting as a spotter. The man looked familiar.

“I met him last week, right?”

“Thomas Marshall,” Buck said. “You were meandering a lot mentally at that point, so don’t worry about it. You actually met my whole team, except for Jason, who was in Washington with his dad. I’ll introduce you again to make it less awkward.”

“Thanks,” Eddie murmured as they headed across the room.

Thomas helped Ray put the weights back on the bench. “Hey.”

“Thomas Marshall, this is Eddie Diaz,” Buck said.

Thomas raised an eyebrow but then offered Eddie his hand. “Concussions suck, man.”

“A lot,” Eddie agreed. “It’s great to meet you again. Sorry if I said anything weird when we met the first time.”

Thomas laughed. “Honestly, I wouldn’t have known you were concussed just from that conversation. Are you always that coherent?”

Eddie considered that and nodded. “When I was shot, in theater, I tried to give the evac team instructions on how to treat my wounds right up until I passed out.”

Ray laughed and rubbed his face with a towel as he shifted around on the bench. “Did you keep any of that metal?”

“No, the shoulder was a through and through; the second ended up in the kidney that had to be removed, and the third was in my thigh. I had to have it removed a few months after I was discharged because it was preventing a full recovery,” Eddie said.

“You were shot three times?” Thomas questioned. “After your first helicopter crash?”

“Yeah, dislocated my shoulder in the crash and broke three ribs.” Eddie shrugged when Thomas made a horrified face. “I did the job.”

“And was awarded a Silver Star,” Ray said. “Way to soldier on, Eddie. You two warm up. Eddie, give me a mile on the treadmill, but don’t go hard. A sustained run is the goal. Then, we’ll evaluate your energy levels and stamina. Let us know if your head starts hurting or if you get nauseous.”

Eddie surrendered to the process because there was comfort in routine, and it was clear that Ray Gaines intended to evaluate him for work no matter what the doctors had to say. It was a good practice, and it would make it easier to trust the members of his team that he didn’t know the way he did Buck. He could, in the right conditions, run a mile in a little over five and a half minutes. But a sustainable run that he could do for more than a mile put him at the six-minute mark without gear. It would be more like seven or eight if he were weighed down.

He finished stretching and set up a treadmill for the pace he thought he could handle and started. Eddie was a little sore and still bruised, but the run felt good, so he concentrated on the movement of his body and various muscle groups. Once he hit a mile, he slowed down and left the treadmill.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Eddie said and checked his own pulse. “A little elevated, but well within my norm.”

“Do you have any deep tissue bruising?” Ray questioned as he motioned Eddie toward the weight bench. “We’ll start with 225.”

Twenty-five over the bare minimum for a firefighter. Eddie slid onto the bench and scooted into place easily. “When I woke up, I was tangled in the empty cargo netting. I remember grabbing it at one point. I thought maybe the tail section had taken a hit because we started to spin, but Chuck had already been shot, so it could’ve just been the way he was slumped against the controls. I had no hope of taking control of the craft in the time I had.”

“Could you have flown it?” Ray asked. “You don’t have a license for it as far as your employment file indicates.”

“I don’t have a license, but my last CO insisted that everyone on our team know how to make an emergency landing. So, I know the basics of flying a helicopter and could land it. I did it a dozen or so times under supervision in training. In fact, the night we crashed, we lost the pilot first, and our CO, who also wasn’t a pilot, managed to mostly land the bird. We still crashed, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.”

“Good to know, and I agree, everyone should be able to at least land the bird.”

Several people nearby groaned.

“Let’s all learn from the man who survived not one but two helicopter crashes, people,” Ray said sternly and got several affirmative responses immediately. “You were caught in the netting.”

“Yes, I think that probably saved my life,” Eddie said. “The helicopter was crushed on one side, and the other side was sheared off entirely. I’d have probably been ejected if I hadn’t gotten caught up in the netting. It becomes a blur at a certain point, and I sort of distantly remember hearing the sound of the bird hitting the trees. There was a large branch through the windshield. The patient had been ejected, and the securing hardware for the gurney was gone as well.”

He started to lift, just to occupy his hands. The weight was easy to handle, and that was a relief because he still felt kind of weak and off-stride.

“I got free of the netting and checked on Chuck. He was…dead.” He took a deep breath. “Then I grabbed my bag and started to put everything I could find in it that I might need. I found two ropes. One I put on my back, and the other I secured to the pilot’s seat, which seemed to be the most secure part of the craft left and rappelled out of the wreckage.

“I searched for the patient, found him, and he was dead. I also located the cooler of water we’d had on board the helicopter so I could salvage any water bottles that weren’t busted.” He frowned. “Everything hurt and it was kind of hard to concentrate, so I took some aspirin. It was the only non-narcotic I had in my bag. Of course, that was a stupid thing to do. I know better.”

“Well, you had a grade two concussion, so give yourself a break,” Ray said as he kept a light hand on the bar. “How does this feel?”

“Fine, easy,” Eddie admitted.

“Let’s add two more plates.”

Eddie put the straight bar back onto the rack and waited while Ray added a plate to either side. That would push him up to 315, which was above his established bench press limit. Buck appeared on his left once Ray had the weight set.

“My max regular lift before the crash was 275.”

“I know,” Ray said. “I’d like to see you get to 300 on your regular lift, so I want to see how you handle 315. Buck?”

“Yeah.” Buck moved behind the bench above Eddie’s head. “I got you.”

Eddie took a deep breath and lifted. He exhaled slowly as his muscles started to burn.

Ray put a hand on his chest. “Got the burn?”

“Yeah.”

“Holding steady,” Ray said. “Give me ten seconds of this, and Buck will take it from you. Could you do a rep?”

“No,” Eddie admitted.

“Anything hurt?”

“No, sir. Just pressure and strain.”

Buck took the weight from him and put it back on the rack.

“You did great,” Ray said. “During your next workout, try to add ten pounds to your maximum by the end. Stay there until it’s easy, then increase again until you’re at 300. I think you can move up to that in about six months. You’ll have to increase your weight a bit. I don’t expect you to bulk up like Buck. Currently, you can lift and carry any member of the team, which is what I require of the biological males who work in this building. I’m above the minimum weight requirement, so I can’t expect most of the biological females to be able to carry my heavy ass, but all of them can drag upwards of 300 pounds.”

“How much do you weigh?” Eddie asked as Buck gave him a bottle of water. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Buck said and walked toward the treadmills.

“I fluctuate between 250 and 260,” Ray said. “Buck and Thomas both try to stay under 200. Cohn’s your size but stays on the helicopter most of the time. Sae is 125 soaking wet, wearing her heaviest boots.”

“I heard that!” A woman called out from across the room as she walked their way. “Are you guys being mean to the new guy?”

“Just checking in,” Ray said. “Eddie, this is Sae Bu, paramedic and voice of reason.”

Eddie remembered her face but not her name, so he was glad that Ray was so smooth about it. She inclined her head as she stared at him, then walked around the bench and held out a hand palm up. Eddie gave her his wrist with a scrunched-up nose but stayed still as she took his pulse.

“Don’t overwork him, Ray,” she said tartly, released him, and trotted off toward a treadmill. “Hey, Buck! What mile are you on?”

“Just finished my first.”

“Step it up then, you loser,” she said and got on a treadmill. “I’m gonna catch up with you like it’s nothing.”

Eddie laughed and shook his head.

Ray prodded one bruise on Eddie’s arm. It was already yellowing. “Take off the shirt.”

Eddie took it off and dropped it on the bench between his legs.

“No organ bruising?”

“No, sir, I had an MRI and was subjected to a very thorough, borderline inappropriate ultrasound,” Eddie said sourly, and Ray laughed.

“Finish your workout,” Ray said. “Then give yourself a day off tomorrow before resuming your regular off-duty exercise schedule. Let me know what your doctor says about returning to work after your check-up. I have a floater scheduled for the next shift for Buck, and Jason’s last shift will be decided based on your return to active duty.”

“Yes, sir.” Eddie pulled his T-shirt back over his head so people wouldn’t stare at the bruises, which littered his torso from the collar bones down.

* * * *

“Have a good day, Mijo?”

“Yeah, it was great,” Christopher said and wiggled a little in excitement as Eddie fastened his seatbelt. “Hi, Buck!”

“Hey, Superman,” Buck said as he half-turned in the driver’s seat. “What’s up with you?”

Christopher grinned and tugged on his Superman T-shirt. “We looked at fossils under microscopes in science class. It was cool. What are you and Daddy up to?”

“We used the gym at the airfield to work out,” Buck said as Eddie slid back into the truck. “We just finished.”

“Are you having dinner with me?” Christopher asked.

“Sure, should we drop your dad off at home first?” Buck asked, and Eddie huffed dramatically even as his son started to giggle. “Wow, Eds, don’t cry. I guess we can let you come, too.”

“Yeah, whatever, Buck,” Eddie said. “Maybe I don’t even want to hang out with either of you.”

“We’ll let you pick the place, Daddy,” Christopher decided. “As long as there are tacos.”

“What if I want kabobs?” Eddie questioned, but he already knew the answer.

“Gross, Daddy, you know I hate the lamb things.”

Eddie grinned at Buck. “Maybe you should try them again, Mijo.”

“No, my palate isn’t mature enough for lamb kabobs,” Christopher announced from the backseat, and Eddie shook his head.

“Mine is,” Buck said wryly. “How about we hit a food truck park, and everyone gets what they want?”

“Sounds good,” Eddie agreed. “Though I don’t know where one is that has tacos and kabobs.”

“I do,” Buck said. “But not just lamb—they do chicken and beef as well. The taco truck is very good and even has fish tacos, which are Thomas’ favorite.”

Twenty minutes later, they were settled at a picnic table not far off a beach. There were over a dozen food trucks, and it was kind of crowded, but Buck wasn’t above using his size to make sure Christopher had room to move on his own. Eddie hadn’t often been out with other adults who were aware enough to actually pay attention to where Christopher was in relation to everyone else. Plenty of people didn’t give his son the room he needed to move easily, and it was often frustrating.

He ended up on the opposite side of the table from Buck and Christopher, who’d given him a dirty look when he’d tried to sit down beside him. Obviously, he was no longer the favorite. Eddie was kind of okay with it since it was amusing and fun to watch his son laser in on someone else with questions.

“And I don’t know why they demoted Pluto,” Christopher said earnestly. “It seems like the legacy of the discovery should matter.”

“Honoring scientists that came before us is important,” Buck agreed. “But it really can’t trump the scientific process. The more we learn, the more the field of science grows and expands. And we have to leave room for that, and accepting rigorously tested and proven scientific data is part of that expansion.”

“So, you’re saying that science doesn’t make room for nostalgia,” Christopher said shrewdly.

“Not as a rule,” Buck admitted. “And we wouldn’t want it to, considering some of the theories that have been thoroughly debunked over the years. Feelings are valid, but they’re not facts.”

“Yeah, okay.” Christopher took an aggressive bite of taco as he nodded.

Eddie shook his head at them and looked out over the ocean. He had no idea there was a food truck park so close to the beach, but since his divorce, he’d done little more than exist and take care of his son. Work and personal stress had created an exhausting set of circumstances that was hard to get out from under. It was odd to feel a lot of that stress sort of floating away as he sat eating with Christopher and Buck.

Chapter 9

“Today was good,” Buck said as Eddie followed him to the door. “Ray was pleased with your recovery time.”

“His expectations don’t feel unreasonable,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “Is that his norm, or does he ramp up?”

“Ray’s…steady,” Buck said as he pulled on his jacket. “He’s even-tempered, good-natured, and hardworking. He does expect a lot from his people, but nothing that is unreasonable for the job. Sometimes, people can’t handle it, and it’s obvious almost immediately. He moves them on quickly with no fuss, and there are rarely repercussions.”

“Rarely?”

“Well, he doesn’t tolerate laziness on the job, so if someone floats into the station from the reserves, who doesn’t do the work or creates problems, then he handles it. Those people are normally outright dismissed from the reserve program because Ray Gaines’ recommendation, or alternatively, his disapproval, is taken very seriously in the department when it comes to SAR. The work we do is dangerous enough without having idiots on the job trying to coast through for overtime hours.”

Eddie nodded.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Buck assured. “You already have a great reputation due to your work in the reserves. You’ve been on the list to be offered a job with the 56 for about six months, and I know it’s similar at the 27.”

“Good,” Eddie said and exhaled slowly. “I can’t even tell you how relieved I am by the transfer, Buck.”

“Well, I understand that relief intimately,” Buck said. “I don’t think I knew how much stress Chim was causing me until suddenly he was completely out of my face. He’s just toxic as fuck, even when he’s not making someone the butt of his dumb ass jokes. When he’s not lying to and about women, he’s trying to degrade any man around him he feels threatened by.” He pulled out his keys. “I should go. I have an early AM doctor’s appointment.”

“Anything wrong?” Eddie asked.

“Nah, just a general appointment, plus I have this guy I want to have some filthy sex with,” Buck said and pulled Eddie in with a grin. “I’m looking forward to blowing him.”

“I can’t decide if I’m being teased or promised something,” Eddie said and pressed him against the door. “You could be blowing me right now.”

“I could,” Buck murmured and hummed under his breath as Eddie kissed him. “But I hate the way latex tastes.”

“I’m not fond of it either,” Eddie admitted and hooked his fingers into Buck’s belt loops. “But I’m very fond of you.”

Buck hummed against his mouth, and they fell into a deep kiss. The sweet, easy affection between them felt so safe and warm that Eddie was both relieved and shocked by it. Falling in love had never been so effortless before. The idea brought him up short, and he ended the kiss. They stayed where they were for a moment, forehead to forehead, breathing the same air.

“I mean this,” Buck murmured.

“So do I,” Eddie said and cleared his throat as he took a step back. “And I’m really looking forward to the filthy sex.”

Buck grinned. “We could make a whole day of it.”

“Gah, get out of my house,” Eddie muttered, and Buck just laughed. He opened the door and turned on the porchlight. “Drive safe.”

“Of course,” Buck said and snuck another little kiss as he slipped past him.

“I should’ve fucking known.”

Eddie snagged Buck and pulled him right back into the house as he stared at Chimney. “What the hell are you doing here, Chim?”

Chimney glared at him. “I spent half the fucking day in HR because of you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Eddie said firmly. “If I were going to file a complaint against you, I’d have done it months ago. You need to leave.”

“I don’t believe you, and you’ve got that fucking loser here, too. Buck ruined everything! Bobby can’t stand me now because of him. Hen doesn’t let me even come to her house! All because I didn’t baby Buck like everyone else did. He’s too fucking soft for the job, and no one cares at all!” He waved the beer bottle in his hand. “Did he talk you into filing a complaint because he was too much of a coward to do it?”

“I didn’t file a complaint,” Eddie said. “You aren’t worth my time, Chim, and you never have been. You’re a pathological liar and a disgusting bully. You hate your life, and you take it out on every single person around in some way or another.” He moved out on the porch when Chimney took a step closer. “Tread carefully here, Chim. I’m not the one you want to pick a fight with.”

“Chim would never hit someone that he thinks would hit him back,” Buck said dryly. “He’s fit enough for the job, but he has to know better than to pick a fight with a man who spent nearly a decade in the Army who is fifteen years younger than him.” He paused. “But then, he showed up at your house drinking, so maybe he’s managed to find some liquid courage.”

“You’re calling me a coward?” Chim laughed. “You both tucked tail and ran from me.”

“I didn’t run from you, Chimney,” Buck said quietly. “I just moved on to something better. You don’t understand that because you’re at a dead end when it comes to your career at the LAFD. Just like every other job you’ve ever had, you let your inferiority complex get the better of you, and now look where you are. Doing something stupid that’s certainly going to get you arrested.”

“Arrested,” Chimney scoffed. “Fuck off, Buck. I’m not doing shit but having a conversation.”

“You’re drunk, trespassing, and considering your parking job—you drove here.” Eddie took a deep breath. “Give me your keys and get an Uber home. I’ll give them to Bobby.”

“Fuck you,” Chim hissed. “I was right, you know. There’s no way that little white kid is actually yours. Your slut of a wife fucked you over before you ever even married her.”

Buck grabbed his arm when Eddie started to leave the porch. “Don’t give him what he wants, Eds.”

“I’m going to be called into HR as a witness to the complaint that was filed,” Eddie said quietly. “And I’m going to be explicitly honest, Chimney. I’m going to tell them everything they want to know about you, your behavior, and your history of hazing probationary firefighters.”

“Go to hell,” Chimney muttered and threw the bottle. It shattered all over the steps and the ramp on the side of the porch. “I wonder how your new captain is going to feel about you banging his golden boy before you managed to work a single fucking shift on his team. Because I’m going to make sure he finds out.”

“Leave.”

Chimney glared but went to his car and got in it. Eddie waited until he was out of the driveway before he pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

He gave his name and address first, then took a deep breath before continuing, “A former co-worker just left my property and appears to be intoxicated. I didn’t feel comfortable trying to take his keys because he was exhibiting some serious hostility and was trespassing. He’s driving a silver Honda Accord, and his name is Howard Han.” He frowned and gave what he remembered of the license plate. “He has a history of aggressive driving, and I’m concerned about his mental state, even if he’s not over the legal limit.”

“Do you believe he is heading to his home, and do you have the address?”

Eddie gave the address after a few moments of hesitation. He hated the position he’d been put in. “I also need to document this incident in case I have to file for a restraining order at some point.”

“Do you want an officer to come to your home now?”

“I…no, I’ll come in if I decide to file a complaint. Will I be able to get a copy of an incident report for this phone call?”

“Yes, the call is public record, and a report will be generated if he’s pulled over by an officer before he reaches his home.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said.

“Please call back if he returns to the property and do not answer your door,” the operator instructed firmly.

Eddie ended the call with the agreement that he wouldn’t engage with Chimney if he returned and took a deep breath as Buck pulled him back into the house. He shut the door and flipped the lock.

“Was that a mistake?” Eddie questioned.

“No, I don’t think he was sober enough to be driving, and that makes him a danger to other people,” Buck said. “Also, Ray isn’t going to give a shit about our personal relationship as long as we keep it professional at the station.” He cleared his throat. “He actually said that shit at work? About….” He glanced toward the back of the house where Christopher was sleeping.

“Yeah, if Cosmo hadn’t separated us, I’d have probably gotten myself fired,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “He just kept pushing and pushing until he found my weak spot, and it was such a low fucking blow that I lost it.”

“Well, he’s wrong.”

“I know he is,” Eddie said roughly. “Shannon and I weren’t in an exclusive relationship when she got pregnant, Buck. There was a paternity test when she was six months along. There were two possibilities…I have definitive proof that Christopher is my son. Moreover, he’s the spitting image of my maternal grandfather, as I already told you.”

“Good,” Buck said. “But, also, he has your forehead. Which is kind of unfortunate, so I hope he grows into it.”

Eddie laughed. “Fuck you.” He took a deep breath. “Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive home when we don’t know where he is. You can share my bed or bunk down on my couch, so you’ll get enough rest for your day tomorrow.”

Buck made a face at the couch. “I’m sleeping in your bed, dude. You’ll just have to keep your hands to yourself.”

“I can do that,” Eddie agreed. “I still have your clothes—I guess you can sleep in them.”

“It’s gonna be really hard for us to share those sweatpants you’re currently wearing,” Buck said wryly.

“Oh, right.” Eddie shrugged. “You can have the shirt back, at least.”

* * * *

Buck turned his head just as someone poked his arm again. He opened his eyes and found Christopher standing next to the bed. “You picking on me first thing in the morning?”

Christopher laughed. “I didn’t know you were spending the night!” He crawled up onto the bed and sat down. “Daddy’s making breakfast, then I have to go to school. I asked if I could stay home with you guys, but he says you have to leave soon.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some stuff to do today,” Buck said. He sat up, stretched, and rubbed his face. “Did you get a good night’s sleep?”

“Yep,” Christopher said with a nod. “And I’ve got my bag packed for school and everything. What was your favorite subject in school?”

“Science,” Buck said and yawned. “Did your dad give you coffee or something?”

Christopher laughed. “I’m not old enough for coffee. You’re not a morning person, are you?”

“I can be,” Buck said and huffed a little when the boy laughed.

“Daddy said he left a new toothbrush for you on the sink in his bathroom.”

Buck yawned again. “Thanks.” He stretched. “How old are you?”

“Eight. My birthday was last month.”

“Happy birthday. I’m sorry I missed it.” He picked up his phone from the nightstand.

“You can take me to the pier to make up for it,” Christopher suggested, and Buck laughed. “Plus, we’re going to the park on Saturday. Right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Great. Oh, Daddy wants to know if you want a breakfast sandwich. He’s making some for us to eat in the car on the way to school since he’s running late. He had to clean up some glass off the porch. I don’t know how it got there.”

“Yeah, I’ll take one,” Buck said, and Christopher scooted off the bed. “Thanks.”

“Great.”

Buck stayed where he was until the kid left the room since he’d slept in his boxers. He slid out of the bed, pulled on his pants, and walked into the bathroom. There was a toothbrush, still in a box, on the sink. He opened it gratefully and brushed his teeth. Then he wet a washcloth to wash his face. Once feeling a little more human, he went to find his socks and shoes.

The shirt he’d been wearing the day before was sitting on top of a laundry basket. He considered picking it up but decided to leave it. Mostly because he wondered if Eddie would wear it. He kind of liked the thought of it, which made him feel ridiculous. Eddie and Christopher were in the kitchen when he headed that way.

“I didn’t set an alarm,” Buck muttered and glanced toward the coffee pot, which had clearly not been used at all.

“It’s fine,” Eddie said and handed him a flask. “Water. I’m out of coffee.”

“That’s a crime,” Buck told him and sighed when he got passed a sandwich wrapped in crisp white parchment. “Thanks.”

Eddie laughed. “Egg, prosciutto, and gouda. I didn’t have time for bacon.”

“Sounds perfect. Can I help with anything?”

“We’re ready to go,” Christopher said. “Daddy said we should let you get your beauty sleep.”

Buck flushed and rolled his eyes when Eddie laughed. “Well, thanks. I’m going to get out of your hair then.”

“Call me later,” Eddie ordered and kissed him quickly as he passed by. “Come on, Mijo. I don’t want to get dirty looks at the drop-off.”

“Well, that’s better than that teacher who flirts with you, right?”

“Ugh,” Eddie muttered. “Don’t remind me.”

“Flirty teachers, huh?” Buck questioned as he followed along behind them.

“Uncomfortably flirty,” Eddie responded. “It was bizarre. Fortunately, I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“It smells weird out here,” Christopher said as soon as they were on the porch.

“Yeah, hold on,” Eddie said quickly. “I’m going to carry you.”

“Daddy, I can walk,” Christopher complained.

“I know, but I might not have gotten all the glass. I don’t want you to get it in your shoes.” Eddie plucked his kid up, and Christopher just made a face at Buck over his shoulder, which made him laugh.

“Drive safe,” Buck called out as Eddie opened the back passenger door.

“You, too. Since I’m supposed to rest today, I figured I’d go by my abuela’s and spend some time there. What’s your agenda after the doctor?” Eddie put his son in the truck and buckled him in despite Christopher’s assertation that he could do it himself.

“Unsure, honestly. I need at least two hours of exercise today, and I’m having lunch with Bobby.” Buck checked his watch. “Text me when you get settled somewhere for a bit.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed and slid into the driver’s seat of his truck with a wave.

Buck unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite before he started his own truck and headed for the closest coffee source. He was going to need caffeine and a lot of it to deal with Bobby Nash. Once Buck had some coffee, he checked his email and texts, then confirmed his lunch with Bobby.

* * * *

Eddie hadn’t made it out of the drop-off line without a text from Athena Grant. He’d kind of expected it and had responded with an affirmative that he could meet her at the place of her choice. She chose her own house. He didn’t know if Bobby was there but assumed he was since A shift wasn’t on duty. The drive over gave him time to organize his thoughts, but by the time he got there, he really didn’t have a good idea of what Chimney’s motives were regarding coming to his house in the middle of the night.

Bobby answered the door and let him in. The man looked exhausted, and Eddie immediately felt guilty as he could already see what had happened. Athena was sitting at the table, looking absolutely furious. Eddie got a cup of coffee from Bobby, and they both joined her.

“I’m going to tell you something that you probably already know,” Athena said, and Eddie nodded. “Chimney was arrested for drunk driving last night. He was twice the legal limit.”

“Well, I didn’t realize he was that drunk,” Eddie admitted. “We weren’t even certain he was over the limit. I just didn’t think we should fight him for control of his keys because he was already really hostile. So, I called it in. I’m not going to apologize for that.”

“Neither of us expect you to,” Bobby assured. “He called me after he was arrested. He thought I’d get him out of trouble and that I’d ask Athena to make it go away. Of course, neither one of us was willing to do such a thing. He could’ve gotten someone killed.” He cleared his throat. “He called me a hypocrite and asked me how often I’d driven intoxicated or even worked while high when I was in Minnesota. As if my terrible past behavior somehow justified his.”

“What kind of charges is he facing?” Eddie asked warily. “And how much of this is going to blow back on me? I haven’t gone to file a report about his trespassing yet.”

“He’s lucky that he got pulled over before he killed someone,” Athena said flatly. “And your name is not attached to his arrest as your call wasn’t used for grounds to pull him over. When he was located, he was driving erratically and nearly thirty miles over the speed limit.”

“Okay,” Eddie said and took a deep breath. “So, I shouldn’t file a complaint?”

“I listened to your 9-1-1 call,” Athena said. “Are you worried he’s going to escalate and you’ll need a restraining order?”

“I don’t know what he intended on doing at my house, Athena. He didn’t expect me to have company, I think, and seeing Buck threw him off. Is he stupid enough to come at me violently? Even extremely drunk?”

“He might if he thought you were at a disadvantage,” Bobby said. “It was well known, before your transfer went through, that you had ten days of recovery time due to injury. He has no idea how bad your injuries were after the crash, Eddie. They all made some assumptions about it, and I didn’t correct any of that. Buck’s certainly a deterrent. He’s probably gained upwards of thirty pounds in muscle since joining the 56.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, in that range. But Buck isn’t the violent sort. I know he’ll defend himself, of course, but that’s not the same as being an actual threat.”

“No, agreed,” Bobby said. “But I doubt Chimney understands that. Not after he found out that Buck was attacked, and his sister killed her ex-husband in self-defense.”

“How did he find out about that?” Eddie questioned.

“A few weeks ago, Chimney worked a shift with the 133, and they handled the call when it happened,” Bobby said quietly. “He came back and told me about it. Chim asked me how it felt that Buck had nearly gotten killed, and he hadn’t reached out to me. It was like he was trying to make me resent Buck. But all it did was make me…incredibly sad. He also said he felt like he’d dodged a bullet by not dating Maddie Kendall, like suddenly it was his idea.”

“She had to threaten him with a restraining order,” Eddie retorted, and Bobby just shook his head. “Chim did accuse me of filing a complaint against him, so whatever went down at HR yesterday didn’t make it clear to him which of his targets had come back to haunt him. The problem is that he tends to do the same exact shit to everyone that he has a problem with, and on paper, I imagine his victims look pretty much look the same. Especially if Chad only complained about the slut-shaming and inappropriate interest in his sex life.”

“He’s going to be fired,” Athena said. “They’ll use the misdemeanor conviction for the DUI as an excuse, and he’ll have no recourse. The union isn’t going to go to bat for him, considering the reckless driving and resisting arrest charges that are also pending. If he gets convicted of all three misdemeanor offenses, he could spend upwards of two years in county jail.”

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t get it, and I think he needs therapy more than he needs a jail sentence.”

“He’s lucky to have gotten caught before he hurt or killed someone,” Athena said shortly and frowned at her empty cup. “We were up half the damned night as is, dealing with his bullshit.”

Bobby got up and took her cup to the coffee pot. “I’ve reported the whole thing to HR, and they’ll be handling the department’s response. Chim’s current girlfriend hung up on him when he called her from jail. I refused to post bail, but he’ll probably be released in the next forty-eight hours pending a trial unless his lawyer does something magical and gets him off with a plea deal.”

“If he gets a plea deal with no jail time, will he still get fired?”

“Yes, because he won’t have a license to drive,” Bobby said. “A first offense results in a year of suspension. I’m lucky to have never hurt anyone or got caught, so I just have to battle my own guilt on the subject.” He brought the cup back to the table and sat down. “A record of drunk driving is going to make it difficult for him to work for a private ambulance company going forward as well. He’ll have some hard choices to make due to this mess he’s made of his life.”

“My father is an alcoholic,” Eddie said. “He’s been on and off the wagon for twenty years. My mother enables him and treats him with kid gloves as needed to make sure he continues to make money. I have few memories of him being sober as a child. It’s one reason why I can never, ever trust them with my son. I have it in my will that I would prefer that Christopher be adopted by strangers than be left in the care of my parents if I die on the job.”

“So,” Athena said. “Buck was at your house at midnight?” She quirked an eyebrow, and Eddie exhaled loudly as he blushed.

“We’re going to be partners on the job, so we’ve just been hanging out and trying to get our rhythm back,” Eddie said in defense, and she laughed. “Seriously.”

“It came easy from the start,” Bobby said. “I’m glad you’re going to work with him going forward. I’ll worry less about you both.”

“Where’s Hen on this?” Eddie asked.

“She refused to post his bail as well,” Athena said. “Karen has put her foot down on the subject of Chimney Han, and with good reason. Hen was, for a very long time, unreasonably loyal to him. He enabled and encouraged some toxic behavior, and Hen felt validated, I guess. But Karen made her choose, and Chimney was never going to win in that circumstance. Hen’s already come close to losing her marriage once. She won’t risk it again.”

“Someone should probably warn Chad Rogers that Chimney’s gone off the rails a bit,” Eddie said.

“I’ve already spoken to Chad and assured him that he won’t have to work with him ever again. The kid is relieved because he didn’t want to transfer out. He likes the team for the most part.” Bobby focused on his own coffee, which had to be cold, and cleared his throat. “We have a firefighter transferring in from Santa Monica permanently, and I took a transfer from the 133 as well. Though Henry Wayne only agreed after I told him that Chimney was on his way out.”

“He’s a good guy.”

“Cosmo’s choice,” Bobby said. “Hen agreed to move back to a 24-hour shift and take up the lead for the paramedics.”

“What about medical school?”

“I don’t think she wants it,” Athena interjected. “She’s just unhappy and trying to figure out how to be happy with her job. I hope it crosses her mind fairly soon that even though Chimney never messed with her, she was being negatively impacted by his toxic behavior.”

“He was selective about his audience, and the behavior sort of went from borderline inappropriate to outright vicious depending on who was watching,” Eddie said. “The day he questioned Christopher’s parentage…. He walked up to me in the locker room, and he thought we were alone. He leaned on the locker and told me that he couldn’t figure out if I was a fool or what for allowing my whore of a wife to say that I was the father of her obviously white child.”

“I’d have cleaned his clock,” Athena muttered.

“Cosmo got between us,” Eddie said and flushed. “Because it was a near thing. We both got sent home that day, and I guess it was for the best because I was so furious that I could barely breathe.”

“I wasn’t protecting him that day, Eddie,” Bobby said. “You know that, right?”

“I do,” Eddie said. “And it was clear to him, too. After that, he got a little cold with everyone. Then the ladder was bombed, and everyone was sort of numb. Even Chim couldn’t make that situation worse. A lot of people blame him for Mike’s death, Bobby. Not so much like he planted the bomb itself, but everyone believes that if Cosmo had been on duty that day, Mike Calhoun would be alive.”

“I believe it, too,” Bobby said simply. “He was trying to prove he was a better leader than Cosmo or me. All he did was alienate people and get Mike killed because he couldn’t allow Cosmo to be right about something. The only reason he kept his job was that the daily undercarriage inspections weren’t standard procedure.” He paused. “They are now, of course. They’ll be done every single damn day in every house in the LAFD for the foreseeable future.”

Eddie nodded. “Chimney’s probably going to report my personal relationship with Buck to HR. He said he was going to tell Captain Gaines.”

“There are rules concerning couples on the job, but nothing that would prevent you from working together. You’ll have to disclose and never put yourself in the position to officially evaluate each other’s job performance. Currently, you have the same rank, but he will be in line for promotion before you if he pursues it.”

“I’m not concerned about that kind of thing, Bobby. Following Buck’s lead on the job was never a problem at all. He’s competent, careful, and I never once worried that he wouldn’t do everything he could to make sure I would get to go home at the end of the day.” He focused on his empty cup and shifted it around in his hands. “He saved my life, as you know.”

Bobby nodded. “The FBI agent is still kind of flummoxed by what he did, by the way. He even had a pair of firefighters from the 27 repeat it, under observation.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Bobby said. “And the one doing the carrying was so exhausted by the end of the reenactment that he all but crawled up the stairs of that lookout. Plus, he ran out of breathable air just short of the firebreak.”

“Buck mentioned that his air got low, and he was worried about having to take my SBCA for himself. But he didn’t,” Eddie said. “I’m not sure when he stopped wearing his mask, but both bottles were in the lookout and basically empty as far as I remember. He said I passed out during, but I don’t remember him being overtly exhausted after we reached the lookout.”

“Well, Buck’s level of fitness isn’t the norm outside of SAR,” Bobby said. “Chief Alonzo told the agents they were asking a lot of the man that volunteered for the reenactment.”

“Why do it?” Eddie questioned.

“They were retracing the gunman’s steps,” Athena said. “He followed the two of you to the lookout and watched you for hours. They found his nest on the first day but wanted to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind in the forest—weapons, ammo. The LAFD was able to put the fire out fairly easily with water bombs, so retrieving the bodies from the crash became a priority. Agent Edgerton was able to track you and the gunman both from the crash site.

“Since he took the two of you hostage, there were questions to be asked and answered regarding the danger you were both put in because of the fire and because the FBI didn’t contain him the way they thought they had.”

“Well, he started a fire and changed the circumstances drastically,” Eddie said. “That’s no one’s fault but his. Agent Edgerton has a decades-long reputation for getting the job done, and if I’d known he was out there with me, I’d have felt better about my situation. He’s a legend in some circles.”

“He’s killed a lot of people,” Athena said.

“Well, he’s a soldier and an accomplished sniper,” Eddie said. “In the Army, I was evaluated for several career paths, and that was one of them because I could compartmentalize very well. I did consider it because there’s something satisfying in the idea of protecting others in the field. Having someone like Ian Edgerton watching your back in theater is a gift from God, Athena.”

She nodded. “It’s just hard to wrap my head around a job like that and the fact that he continued to pursue it after serving in the military.”

“He’s a breed apart, certainly,” Eddie said. “But I’ve never, ever heard that he couldn’t be trusted to make the most ethical choice possible or that he had a questionable shoot. It’s a hard life, certainly, but he provides a valuable and much-needed service to the rest of us to a great detriment to himself. You and I both know that killing in the line of duty damages you.”

Athena took a deep breath. “Yes.”

* * * *

Buck was a little nervous about the conversation with Bobby and had chosen to invite the man to his house as a gesture of good faith. So, he’s spent the morning after his doctor’s appointment dashing around the house cleaning up. He’d bought it at an immense discount because it needed a lot of work, and he was proud of what he’d accomplished so far. He still had a lot of work to do, though. Only one bedroom was finished, and the den was a mess of construction materials. He’d worked on the living room and kitchen first, so at least the front of the house was presentable.

He opened the door. “Hey.”

Bobby pocketed his keys. “Nice neighborhood—a little older than I expected you to choose.”

“I got a great deal because it needed so much work,” Buck said. “And there’s no HOA.”

“Then you struck gold,” Bobby muttered, and Buck laughed.

“I’ve got paninis ready to grill,” Buck said and motioned Bobby to follow him. “I recently found a bakery that makes these amazing ciabatta rolls. I went with grilled chicken and pesto.”

“Sounds great,” Bobby said. “My pesto recipe?”

“Yeah, of course.” Buck motioned him toward a stool at the bar. “I renovated the kitchen first because once I got used to cooking for myself, eating out lost its shine quickly. Plus, fast food is often calorie-heavy but low on nutrients.”

“This looks great, and it suits you,” Bobby said and cleared his throat. “Thanks for inviting me here, Buck. I appreciate your trust.”

Buck nodded and put both sandwiches on the cast iron grill, then put the press he’d heated on top of them. “I’m sorry that I cut you off completely, but things got really difficult with Maddie, and we just bunkered down together. Trust was hard to come by after Doug Kendall tried to kill me.”

“I don’t think you owe me an apology,” Bobby said quietly. “But I don’t want to discount your need to do it, so I accept it, and I’m sorry that you went through that with just your sister. I’m sorry that you didn’t trust me enough at that point to reach out to me for help, and I know it’s my own damn fault.”

“Maddie says you’re a man of your time,” Buck said wryly, and Bobby laughed. “And that you were probably raised in a pool of toxic masculinity.”

“She’s not wrong about that last part, and I regret so much that I told you basically the same things my old man told me. I remember him telling me as a teenager that a grown man doesn’t get hurt feelings and that I needed to toughen up. It crossed my mind recently that when I was drinking and eating painkillers like candy that I was self-medicating in more than one way.”

Buck nodded and lifted the press off the sandwiches. “I have a pasta salad to go with this. I usually carb load at lunch.”

“Sounds great,” Bobby said. “I don’t want to spend all of our time discussing Chimney Han for a variety of reasons, but most importantly because he’s been taking up room in our relationship for too damn long, as is.”

“I agree with that,” Buck murmured as he cut the sandwiches and plated them. Then went to the fridge to retrieve the pasta salad. “I went with a creamy Italian dressing since I figured it’d go well with the pesto. I’ve been experimenting with making my own aioli with avocado oil.”

“I normally use olive oil, but avocado is a good fat to include in meals. Something to consider for the station. I try to keep those guys on a better path when I have them under my thumb.”

Buck laughed. “Yeah.” He finished the plates and slid one across the bar to Bobby before joining him. “I got these stools second-hand and refinished them. Thrifting and finding pieces have become something of a hobby. I recently found a great cast iron bed—a California king no less.”

“You need the room,” Bobby said with a smile and took a bite of the sandwich.

He hummed and nodded, so Buck took that for approval.

“Chimney showed up at Eddie’s last night. He was drunk, and he threw a beer bottle at the house.”

Bobby sighed. “I know.” He focused on the sandwich. “This is really good, kid. What did you marinate the chicken in?”

“Just some lemon juice and Worcestershire sauce. Oh, also, I’ve been using this hickory smoked salt in my marinades lately. I’ll get you the name.”

“Thanks. Chimney got arrested last night. DUI, reckless driving, and resisting arrest. Apparently, he came precariously close to punching a cop as well. He called me and expected me to get him out of trouble. Well, he expected Athena to fix it.”

“Wow,” Buck said. “He doesn’t think much of her, does he?”

“What?” Bobby questioned.

“I mean, he expected her to act like a dirty cop on his behalf, Bobby,” Buck said plainly. “How else would she fix his charges? Plus, if she got caught, it would’ve ruined her career. He’s really fucking selfish, so I don’t know if he’d cared at all. I forgot the drinks. Water? Juice?”

“What kind of juice?”

“I have a cucumber and pear that I made earlier in the week,” Buck said, and Bobby nodded. “But also, a strawberry and watermelon experiment that I’m on the fence about.”

“I’ll take the cucumber and pear plus a sample of the experiment.”

Buck grinned and left his seat. “So, he’s still in jail?”

“I don’t know, but none of us bailed him out. Karen put her foot down with Hen, and I think that friendship is probably over. Chimney was apparently furious with Hen for not having his back and said some things that Hen refused to repeat, but she was shaken and hurt.”

“Chim has a horrible temper,” Buck said. “I’m not surprised he’d lash out while he was drunk. Is he going to face charges for all three offenses?”

“Unsure. I told him to get a lawyer. He’ll lose his job because, at the minimum, his license will be suspended. He can’t work for the LAFD without one. The likelihood that he’ll get his job back is slim to none considering his behavior and the criminal record.”

“Is it going to come back on Eddie because he called 9-1-1?”

“He wasn’t pulled over because of the call. The responding officer pulled him over for reckless driving, so the call wasn’t included in the arrest report. I don’t think it’ll come up unless Eddie follows through with the complaint he originally wanted to file. And even if he does, nothing Chimney did last night is Eddie’s fault. I trust that Ray Gaines will keep him out of it as much as possible. It’s part of the reason we pushed the transfer through so quickly—we wanted to get ahead of the situation with Chad.”

“Why does he mistreat probationary firefighters?” Buck questioned.

“I think, and I’m clearly not a psychologist, that he is basically repeating what was done to him. His first few years with the department were rough, and his captain was a bigot,” Bobby said. “He was eventually replaced after complaints were filed on Hen’s behalf.”

“So, they tolerated him picking on a man, but when he made life hard for a woman, someone stepped up and said something,” Buck said, and Bobby blinked in surprise. “Some men draw the line at any sort of abuse of a woman when they would outright participate in the same behavior with a man.”

“Right,” Bobby said and nodded. He accepted the small glass of the experiment and took a sip. “This needs an acid. Lemon or lime. But it’s not bad as is.”

“I thought so. I might try both to see which gives it the boost it’s missing.” Buck put a full glass of the cucumber and pear juice down next to Bobby’s plate and poured himself some before returning to his seat. “I’ll take care of Eddie.”

“Of course you will,” Bobby said immediately. “When Ray told me that you had him that day—it was such a relief that I can’t even describe it. I didn’t know you were out there until that point. Ray told me that you asked for that lookout.”

“I wanted to be close in case he made it out,” Buck said with a shrug. “I figured he’d respond better to a familiar face if he was traumatized.”

“Well, thank you for that,” Bobby said. “It made calling Isabel and telling her that Eddie had been found much easier.” He focused on his food then. “I’m unsure how to begin to make amends for what I did to you.”

“It was more about what you didn’t do,” Buck said.

“Well, that’s not true,” Bobby said evenly, and Buck turned to stare at him. “I made you the problem, Buck. I acted like it was your fault that you were hurt and upset by Chimney’s disgusting jokes. I laughed them off, even when they were stupid, to avoid creating conflict where I didn’t think there should be conflict. I ignored his pathological hostility to the point of outright dereliction. If you’d filed a complaint, I’d have been fired along with him.”

Buck knew that, of course, and it was the main reason he hadn’t complained. “I wouldn’t have wanted to ruin your career, Bobby.”

“You are a better man than I’ll ever be,” Bobby said frankly.

“And part of me didn’t want Chimney to ever know how much he actually got to me,” Buck said quietly. “It wasn’t a healthy choice, and it allowed him to continue to be a problem for others. I feel guilty for that.”

“Well, you shouldn’t because nothing he did was your fault,” Bobby said flatly. “Athena thinks he has PTSD from the treatment he received from his previous captain. He’s never taken psychiatric care seriously and probably didn’t get a thing out of any required appointments over the years. He was furious when he had to be cleared for duty by a therapist after the bombing before he could return to duty and didn’t believe that everyone else had to do it until Hen confirmed it. Chim acted like he was being punished by the department because of his actions that night.”

“Rumor has it that he should’ve been,” Buck said. “A lot of people blame him for Mike Calhoun’s death because he was an arrogant dictator who didn’t care about the people under his command.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much exactly what happened,” Bobby said. “But he didn’t violate any regulations. In the end, there were no ramifications officially. I can tell the rest of the crew no longer trusts him, and I don’t think a single one of them would’ve followed his orders in the field after the bombing. I made it clear he’d never be put in charge again at the 118, as a result. Even without this latest issue, his career with the LAFD was at a dead end, and not a single captain on any shift in the entire organization was willing to give him overtime.”

“Do you think that’s why he’s spiraling now?” Buck questioned. “Because the results are starting to pile on top of him when he spent years believing that he could do anything he wanted because he was treated like shit by his first captain.”

“There’s no way to know what he’s thinking, and wasting our time trying to figure him out is just frustrating,” Bobby admitted. “And disheartening.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed and pushed aside his empty plate. “We both made some mistakes, and I don’t expect you to take a knee with this, Bobby. Part of me was ashamed of the fact that I couldn’t let it go.”

“It’s easy to say that you shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed by it,” Bobby said and put a hand on Buck’s forearm. “But emotions don’t work that way. Cutting off emotional pain has never worked for me, and trying destroyed me. Yet, I still seem to expect others to ignore the way others hurt them and move on. I want to do better. So, I need to acknowledge that I did not listen to you the way you needed. I did not protect you on the job as I should’ve as your captain. I did not have your back, and you had every single right to be angry with me. And I’m so fucking sorry for every bit of it.”

“At this point, all I have left is disappointment,” Buck said quietly.

“Can we work on that?” Bobby asked. “No pressure.”

“Yeah, we can work on it,” Buck said. “But I can’t ever come back to the 118.”

“No, I wouldn’t ask,” Bobby said. “I wouldn’t say no, of course, but I understand why you shouldn’t. I wasn’t the only one to ignore or outright enable Chim’s behavior. The move was good for your career as well. You’re getting a lot of notice from the brass, and they’re impressed with you. I don’t have the right to it, but I’m proud of you.”

Buck blinked back unexpected tears. “I feel stupid for how much that means to me.”

Bobby wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “Let’s work on that, too?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “You wanna see the clusterfuck that is supposed to be my den? I’m considering making it a theater room to keep the TV out of the living room.”

Bobby smiled. “Sure.”

Chapter 10

Due to the way the schedule fell, Eddie’s first shift at the 56 was twelve days after the helicopter crash. He’d gone to the airfield a few times, met Jason Williams, and taken several rides in the helicopter to make sure he wasn’t going to have some sort of issue flying due to his therapist’s advice. He could tell that Ray Gaines had appreciated his proactive approach to the issue, and honestly, it hadn’t been any more stressful than before the second crash.

The 27th had held a memorial service for Chuck that Eddie had attended with Christopher. Buck had been on duty, but his team had shown up and stayed in the back in case they had to leave unexpectedly. He hadn’t done it on purpose, but Christopher had proven to be an excellent buffer against anyone asking him questions about the crash or Chuck’s death. His son had insisted on attending for reasons he hadn’t really wanted to explain, and Eddie had decided not to press him on it.

“You cool?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and shut his locker. “Christopher wanted me to tell you that you’re required to show up for dinner tomorrow. Apparently, and I don’t necessarily agree with this, you’re the most fun person to take to the park, so he wants to make future plans.”

“You’re just mad because he thinks I’m a better cook than you.”

“Who makes their own peanut butter?” Eddie asked, and Buck laughed. “You’ve led my kid astray with hipster peanut butter, Buck. And you’re laughing.”

Buck leaned on his own locker. “I made the jam, too.”

“Shut up,” Eddie muttered as he put on his radio harness. “Honestly, what’s wrong with you?”

“I leave my towels on the floor at home,” Buck admitted with a grin. “You know that blackberry jam was the best you’ve ever had.”

“It’s the first time I’ve ever had it,” Eddie admitted. “I didn’t even think I’d like it. It was decent.”

It had actually redefined peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for him, but he wasn’t going to admit that on a bet.

“Whatever,” Buck said with a grin. “Besides, I had no idea what to feed a kid, so I had to ask people for advice. Bobby suggested it.” He paused. “He also made the bread.”

“When my son starts refusing to eat regular food from the store like normal people, you and Bobby Nash are going to be responsible for feeding him until he’s an adult,” Eddie muttered.

“That’s fine; he appreciated my efforts,” Buck said airily and left the ready room.

Eddie followed along behind him with a huff. “This morning he asked me to buy those cheese cubes things you had for his lunch. I checked my grocery app and can’t find them anywhere. So, I expect a supply delivered to my house, Buck.”

“I buy my cheese from the farmer’s market and cut some of it up for snacking. Should we tell him that it was a herbed goat cheese or not?”

“He freaking loved it, so I don’t think he’d care, or he’ll want to go to the farm and meet the goats.” Eddie made a face when Buck threw him a smile over his shoulder. “You’ve already met the goats.”

“Yeah, they’re adorable. The babies wear pajamas, Eddie. You don’t understand how cute that is. I even got to feed one of the babies last year.”

“You fed a baby goat? How do you exist? Are you an escapee from Disneyland or something?” Eddie asked, and two people they passed laughed at them. “Are you going to introduce to me anyone or just leave me floundering around in the dark about names?”

“That’s Jake Freely and Martin Beckham, no relation, and they work B shift,” Buck said. “They’re both assholes and should be avoided unless your life depends on it, then they’re good for something. So, really, they’re only useful about two percent of the time around here.”

“We love you, too, Buck!” one of the men called after him.

“They don’t; that level of assholery literally makes it impossible for either of them to love me like I deserve,” Buck assured. “But that’s okay because I have excellent self-esteem and don’t require their sincere devotion.”

Shortly, they were settled in a room on the second floor of the station that had windows on three walls. Ray Gaines was at the front of the room with a woman who appeared to be around his mother’s age. Eddie figured that would be Tilda Rolland. She was in uniform, which surprised him. He’d wrongly assumed that the resource manager wouldn’t be a firefighter, though at her age, it would be unlikely that she’d be working in the field.

“Okay, everyone settle down,” Gaines called out. “We’re first in the rotation for urban today. It’s a sunny and windy day. Beautiful weather, of course, equals a high chance of idiotic behavior. The 27 is offline for four hours this morning for routine maintenance, and the 36 is our backup for disaster relief. Regional checks show us clear across the board when it comes to tectonic activity, but you know that can change on a dime. With no chance of rain, the drainage ditches will go down on the list of possible rescue locations. The high is 86 degrees today; heat stroke is unlikely outside of vehicle entrapment situations or extreme dehydration.

“Surfing conditions are prime.” He just inclined his head when several people groaned. “Combining nice weather, good waves, and the universities starting a new school year…things could be hectic today and, frankly, over the next few weeks. We can expect parasailing, hang gliding, and other semi-extreme water activities to be up. The Santa Monica Fire Department is a station down for SAR and has requested that we be on standby to assist with coastal rescue, and that’s been added to our operational area for this shift.” A man raised his hand, and Ray gave him a nod. “Go ahead, Jerry.”

“Why are we on standby for coastal operations? That’s new for us.”

“Now’s a good time as any to introduce you all to our new teammate, Firefighter Eddie Diaz, who is joining us with a host of certifications from the 118—among them deep water and cave rescue. He’s also the only member of my team with a close-quarters cert. After the meeting, Buck will take him around for individual introductions. Let’s not bombard him with personal questions until he’s been here a few shifts. Also, I trust that every single one of you will be sensitive and exhibit a proper amount of respect regarding his most recent helicopter crash. I’ve taken him up several times in the bird leading up to today, and he did very well. We don’t expect any problems, but just like the rest of us, a bad day can come at him from any direction.”

“What do you mean by most recent crash?” A woman asked.

“Firefighter Diaz has the unique status of being the only firefighter in this house to survive not one but two helicopter crashes. May we all be so fortunate.” Ray checked his watch. “Tilda wants me to remind you all that food should be kept in the rec area, and the only liquid allowed in the gym is water. Laundry was delivered a half hour ago, so sort yourselves for chores and check the schedule for our downtime hours so you can plan your workout and rest periods. Dismissed.”

The woman headed straight for him, and so they stayed where they were.

“Eddie, this is Tilda Rolland, the love of my life,” Buck said, and Tilda rolled her eyes. “But like all the other men on this planet, I’ll never be good enough for her.”

Tilda shook her head and held out her hand. “Eddie, welcome to the 56. We’ve kept missing each other. I need to get a few details from you, and I have a form for you to sign regarding your bilingual bonus.”

“I’ll go scope out some breakfast,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”

She grinned. “Ah, now, none of that. Tilda will do. Come along then.”

Eddie followed her to a neat office that smelled like cinnamon. He glanced around and found a little vase of twigs on her desk. “What did you need from me?”

She sat down at her desk. “Your son is named Christopher and goes to Durand?”

“Yes, the school year has already started,” Eddie said. “He starts at 8am and ends at 2:20pm. He has a home health nurse that takes care of his school schedule when I’m at work and she’s on call for emergencies during school hours. My tía, Josephine Padron, is a third point of contact for the school.” He watched her make some notes. “Why?”

“We work major incidents, forest fires, and natural disasters. One of my jobs is to make sure your family is exactly where you expect them to be and that they’re safe,” Tilda explained as she wrote. “Your grandmother is Isabel Diaz?”

“Yes, she’s seventy, but active for her age,” Eddie said and pulled out his phone. “I need to look up my tía’s phone number.”

Tilda laughed. “I haven’t memorized a phone number since 1998.”

“I only know my grandmother’s because she’s had the same one my entire life,” Eddie said. “Well, I know her landline, but not her cellphone.” She slid a piece of paper across the desk with a pen so he could write down all the phone numbers she might need. “My grandmother is my next of kin in the event that I’m injured or missing during an incident. She shares medical POA with my tía. I’m semi-estranged from my parents, and they don’t know that I’ve transferred to a new station.”

“You’ll want to tell them,” Tilda said and slid a business card across the desk. “Give them that information, and I’ll field any calls from them during situations where they might have a reason to call you on the job. I don’t tolerate bullshit and will make them toe the line with me regarding departmental procedures.”

He wrote down his parents’ names and numbers as well, then added his sisters for good measure. “Carla Price is my son’s nurse. I’ll give her your information as well. Christopher has cerebral palsy and is in the third grade. He uses crutches but is mobile. He’s emotionally and intellectually very mature due to his disability and his mother’s abandonment. I think that’s probably something you should know in case you have to interact with him.”

“You can ask.”

Eddie hesitated. “Pardon me?”

She grinned. “Pretty and well-mannered. Whatever did we do to deserve such a thing?”

Eddie blushed and laughed a little. “You’re in uniform, and I assumed you wouldn’t be.”

“I’ve worked for the LAFD for thirty years,” Tilda said. “I started out as a firefighter, became a paramedic about ten years in, and was moved into Metro Dispatch after I lost my left leg below the knee in a car accident. I missed the action, and I was considering retirement when the resource management program started as a test. I agreed to organize it and get the right people hired for the roles across various stations. I used the 56 as my HQ, and Ray talked me into staying with his shift once that was finished. It’s good work, and I like being back in a station when I thought that part of my career was permanently taken from me. There are two active-duty firefighters in the LAFD with prosthetic legs, but I couldn’t requalify. It honestly destroyed my stamina, and I never got it back.”

Eddie nodded. “You walk very well. I’d have never guessed you had one.”

“I had a great physical therapist and surgical team,” Tilda said. “And my husband never let me slack on the exercises. I can’t say I’d have recovered half as well without him.” She took the paper from him and put a form down in front of him. “I apologize for not having this ready earlier, but my granddaughter had her appendix removed unexpectedly, so I was in San Diego for a few days.”

“I hope she had a good recovery,” Eddie said as he reviewed the form for the bilingual bonus. “I don’t remember being told I could get this when I was hired.”

“An oversight that I’ve already reported to HR,” Tilda assured. “We need to know this kind of thing when it comes to dispatch and emergency management. Someone fell down on their job in a major way on this front. Not your problem, of course, but I’m trying to get your bonus retroactive to your first eligibility date, which will be the first shift after your probationary period ended.”

Eddie signed the form. “I appreciate the effort regardless of the outcome.”

“I usually get what I want,” Tilda said, and he smiled. “And my granddaughter did great. She’s a real trooper. Mara’s already trying to get her mama to take her to soccer practice.”

“Can I ask a potentially weird question?” Eddie questioned, and she quirked an eyebrow. “The 118 had a laundry area. Why did Captain Gaines announce laundry delivery?”

“We have the machines—you’ll find them in a room not far from the ready rooms for personal laundry that needs to be done during the shift. But we budget for outside services for towels, sheets, and cleaning cloths. The amount of laundry we need done would be a time suck, and Ray prefers that your time be spent on continuing education and training. It’s picked up and delivered once a week. You guys are responsible for putting it all away.”

Eddie nodded. “Thanks.”

“Do you have any allergies?” Tilda questioned. “Food or otherwise?”

“I’ve never had an allergic reaction to anything—food, drug, or chemical,” Eddie said. “My son is allergic to kiwi.” He paused. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

“Reflex,” she said and made a note. “You don’t eat it as a result.”

“I don’t. He’s only had one reaction, and it was just hives, but it worried the hell out of me,” Eddie admitted.

“Well, it’s not a common ingredient in the kitchen unless Ray’s on a smoothie kick, and he has plenty of other options, so I can skip it on the grocery list, and he won’t care,” she said. “In that vein, we have two firefighters in the building with peanut allergies, so we don’t allow any products made with peanuts to be brought in.”

“That must make the protein bar purchases difficult,” Eddie said.

“Not as difficult as the day that Ray Gaines decided we should supply only organic food products,” Tilda muttered and shook her head when he laughed. “Go find Buck and your breakfast.”

Ray Gaines and a woman were waiting out in the hall outside of Tilda’s office. “Eddie, this is Captain Anita Alverez—her main apparatus of choice is the USAR, but she goes out with the triple as well.”

“Ma’am,” Eddie said as he took the hand she offered. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Welcome to the 56,” Anita said with a warm smile. “I gave your file a read this morning. I was asking Ray about your experience as a combat medic and wondered if you were considering the paramedic track.”

Eddie hesitated.

“There’s no wrong answer,” Ray assured.

“Then no, I’m not,” Eddie said. “Working as a combat medic was worlds apart from working as a paramedic mentally and emotionally. I made decisions in theater that haunt me, Captain Alvarez, and did horrifying things that were required of me in circumstances that I don’t want to be reminded of on a daily basis.”

“Combat takes a lot out of person,” Anita said. “I celebrated my nineteenth birthday in Iraq.”

“I turned nineteen in Afghanistan,” Eddie said. “I didn’t even notice it was my birthday until I opened an email from one of my sisters.”

“I did tours in both,” Ray said and crossed his arms. “I hate sand.”

“I came precariously close to developing some kind of ant phobia,” Eddie muttered, and Anita shuddered. “Right?”

“Freaking fire ants,” she said under her breath. “To this day, getting sand in my boots makes me homicidal.”

“Hey, Eds, you being held hostage?” Buck joined them and offered him a bottle of orange juice.

“Once was enough for the month,” Eddie said as he took the juice. “What happened to food?”

“Sae has the waffle makers out,” Buck said. “So, I came to ask if you wanted a waffle.”

“Of course, I want a waffle. What kind of question is that?” Eddie asked.

Ray laughed and motioned them away. “Go eat.”

By the time they reached the rec area, he’d been introduced to almost all of the people on the triple engine. Everyone they passed stopped to meet him, which was nice, and he was relieved not a single person had suggested his history might be bad luck. Because it had been a small concern, some people got a little weird and superstitious around traumatic circumstances. Though, in the Army, he’d known a guy who had repeatedly survived unbelievable circumstances and had become a lucky charm for his unit.

“We have bacon and sausages in the oven,” Buck said as they approached the large island counter where Sae Bu had four double waffle makers working.

Cohn McBride was stirring a large pan of scrambled eggs. He waved at Eddie. “Hey, man.”

“What can we do?” Buck asked.

“You can cut up the cantaloupe,” Sae said. “Eddie, you’re on toast.” She pointed toward a row of toasters. “We need twenty slices. Use the real butter in the fridge. That fake butter crap is for someone on C, who doesn’t know any better.”

“How does meal prep get decided?” Eddie questioned as he washed his hands then opened a loaf of bread.

“We rotate throughout the day. Since we cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner will be on the others,” Sae said. “Next shift, we’ll get lunch, and it goes on like that.”

“Where’s Thomas?” Buck questioned as he pulled two serving platters out of the cabinet and left one for Eddie.

“We used all the thawed bacon,” Cohn said. “So, he’s getting some out of the deep freezer, so it’ll be ready for breakfast tomorrow. Plus, he said he was going to ask if the others were going to cook something that should be prepped out in advance.”

Thomas Marshall entered at that point with a crate full of packaged meat. “We’re getting roast chicken for dinner. I agreed to start the marinade on the birds to help thaw them out quicker. Buck, can you drain the tofu for a vegetarian dish? It’s for lunch. They’re doing stir fry.”

“Yeah,” Buck said as he finished what had to be the fourth cantaloupe based on the amount of peel he had piled up on the counter beside him and headed for a large fridge.

It crossed Eddie’s mind that he didn’t really know how Bobby Nash managed to feed a whole shift essentially by himself. Granted, the 118 was a light brigade and only had twelve firefighters on shift, and none of them had the calorie and protein needs that the SAR crew seemed to have.

“No one’s vegan?” Eddie questioned.

“No, thank fuck,” Sae said. “It’d be difficult to get enough calories in them on the job consistently with our schedules and tasks. I mean not impossible, but I wouldn’t want to have to worry about that kind of thing personally. But speaking of, Cohn, did you put some of those veggie sausages in a separate pan in the oven?”

“Yeah, I put ten in an iron skillet,” Cohn said. “It was the only thing left not in the dishwasher, which we’re going to have to empty so it can be reloaded after the meal. C shift loaded but left before it finished.”

All four toasters ejected their burdens at the same time, and Eddie started buttering the bread. “Is this a good time to admit that I don’t like to cook and avoid it as much as possible?”

Thomas laughed. “Same. We let Buck or Cohn handle our main dishes nearly all the time for meals. There’s always enough manual labor involved in the meal to keep us busy, so it works out. Jason couldn’t cook to save his own life. I make meal kits at home.”

“The instructions with pictures are very helpful, but I still don’t enjoy it,” Eddie said and shrugged when Buck gave him a funny look. “I’m not open to criticism at this time, Evan Buckley.”

“I can put a pin in it,” Buck said, and Cohn laughed.

* * * *

“Ray wants us on the climbing wall,” Buck said. “You cool with that?”

Eddie looked over at the wall. It wasn’t a traditional setup based on the colors of the holds. “What’s the scale on that?”

“Each color represents a class of mountain—purple is a class four, red is a class five, and black is a class five with a partner required. They’re called Capitol, Everest, and K2, respectively. There isn’t a team in the house that has completed K2 without a fall. Jason and I got to the seventy-five percent mark on the regular.”

“Let’s try it and see what we need to work on,” Eddie suggested, and Buck nodded. “What was the fail point with you and Jason?”

Buck made a face as his gaze flicked over the climbing wall. “He never outright said it, but I don’t think he trusted me the way I trusted him. There’s a two-man dynamic move just short of the ceiling that would be a terminal fall if done wrong outside of training. We never accomplished it.”

“I’ve never seen a path like the black one on a climbing wall.”

“K2 is a survival scenario,” Ray Gaines said as he joined them. “A test of perseverance and trust.”

“Has anyone completed it?” Eddie questioned.

“Just me and my wife,” Ray said and smiled when Buck groaned. “She designed and built it—Emma’s a mechanical engineer. You guys gonna try it?”

“Sure,” Eddie said easily.

“Great.” Ray nodded and walked away. “Hey, Cohn, roll it! They’re taking on K2.”

Eddie didn’t get a chance to ask what their captain meant before the wall started to move and click. All of the red and purple handholds sank until they were flush with the surface. He huffed a little. “Mechanical engineer.”

“Yeah, Ray made out like a bandit—beautiful and intelligent. I don’t know what she sees in him,” Cohn said as he walked past them. “I’m going up to the top and drop your safety lines from the auto-belays.”

“Thanks,” Buck called out as the man kept walking.

Without the distraction of the other handholds, the wall looked daunting and complicated with protrusions and indents that were outright harrowing.

“Ray and his wife met climbing K2,” Buck said. “They were in different groups at the start of the climb, but due to conditions and several dropouts, they finished the climb together. Came down practically engaged to hear her tell it.”

“I barely got ahead of her on taking a knee,” Ray said wryly as he rejoined them. “It became a life trend.”

“It’s good to have a partner that will keep you on your toes,” Eddie said, and Ray grinned.

“If you guys accomplish this, you’ll get an opportunity to try advanced scenarios she’s created using all of the handholds.”

“So, this isn’t the most advanced path?” Eddie asked, a little startled.

“It’s one of the most difficult, but she likes to program challenges for the two of us,” Ray explained. “There are over fifty to choose from so far, to keep it from getting boring and to keep our skills up.”

“Is she selling this design?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, of course. Her firm has built a few over the last five years.” He shrugged. “And she has a patent. It certainly helped with the college funds.”

“My son wants to work for NASA,” Eddie said, and Ray whistled. “He’s thinking astrophysics, but he’s willing to consider becoming a rocket scientist.”

Ray grinned. “It’s good that he has a backup plan.”

Buck dropped a bag of climbing gear in front of them. “Ready?”

“Sure,” Eddie said and joined him to help sort the gear.

Shortly, they were attaching the safety lines to their harnesses. Eddie had never used an auto-belay, so Buck had outlined how it would work as a secondary safety measure.

“This isn’t a standard belay system like you might see in a climbing gym, but one that was custom-built out of a series of winches in the ceiling. It allows for multi-directional climbing, and Cohn will control our slack much like Ray or Thomas will in the field,” Buck explained. “The magnets in the system will catch the rope if you take a fall. It’s designed to catch you and lower you to the ground like a traditional auto-belay.” He stacked a rope, tied in a carabiner, and motioned toward the wall. “Ignore it as much as you can, and don’t use it since there are situations where we wouldn’t have it in the field.”

Eddie nodded and followed Buck to the start of the path. The first handhold was at least eight feet off the floor.

“In your scenario, gentlemen, you are stranded at the bottom of a ravine. You have equipment, but no backup, no radios, and temperatures are dropping. You cannot stay where you are if you want to survive. Which means you must be prepared to do anything to get out, including moves that are neither standard nor safe,” Ray said from behind them. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Eddie decided not to look back across the gym because he figured they were going to have an audience and didn’t want to make that a factor in his choices by knowing for sure. Buck offered him the rope, and he worked it through his harness, then clipped on a ring of ten carabiners as well. Eddie took a deep breath to settle himself and put his booted foot in Buck’s hands as the man crouched. He bent the knee of the leg that was on the ground to increase the power of his upward movement, and they moved together without another word.

He caught the handhold with both hands, hung for a few seconds, and Buck cupped both of his feet. Eddie bent at the knee, focused on the next set of handholds, and jumped. He caught them easily, braced his feet, used one hand to hook the first carabiner into place, and slid a rope through it. After moving to the next set of handholds, he hooked another carabiner to anchor himself, looped the rope through his harness, and created a belay with a Grigri before lowering the end to Buck.

Eddie pulled on his gloves. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

An assisted hoist was easier than hauling up an unconscious partner, but he kept the rope tight as he worked, and it got easier after the Buck reached the first handhold. The wall wasn’t slick so there was a bit of grip to be had for their boots. It wasn’t enough to climb due to the vertical surface. Hauling 190 pounds up on a belay wasn’t exactly easy or quick, but two minutes into the climb, Buck was exactly where he needed to be.

Buck hooked himself into the first anchor, and they reworked the rope to create some fall security like they would if they were on a natural surface.

“What’s up with your face?” Buck questioned.

“Just trying to figure out how Ray’s wife hoisted his heavy ass up this wall,” Eddie said wryly.

“Because I am three of my wife, Firefighter Diaz, I never ever climb with her without mechanical ascenders,” Ray Gaines called up to them.

“Having met her,” Buck said. “I think she probably could hoist him in an emergency situation, and I think she could take him in a fight, too.”

Eddie laughed, then took his first horizontal jump, completing the dynamic maneuver with no fuss. He climbed several feet, set another anchor point, and checked the path. He chalked his hands one at a time and shifted the small bag holding the chalk ball back away from the ropes.

“After this, I think you need to move ahead of me.”

“Agreed,” Buck said.

Eddie rocked downward and jumped again, easily grabbing the handhold. He threw out a leg, braced himself against a protrusion, and swung his body around into place to grab the next set of holds. He favored bouldering over actual climbing, so it was a natural choice for him to use the protrusion for leverage. He created another anchor point with a carabiner and stayed in place. Buck caught the handhold and used brute strength to reach the next set of holds.

“You’re way more limber than me,” Buck muttered.

“I stretch with Christopher every morning, so I do all of his exercises with him,” Eddie said.

“Cool,” Buck said with a smile. “I definitely need to work on that. Okay, I’m moving around you.”

Eddie stayed still and ignored the little thrill of having Buck’s body flush against his own as the man moved around him on the wall. The attraction had been a slow burn for him before, mostly due to the stress of a new job and his pending divorce from Shannon. Now, things were so different, and he felt free to want for himself. It wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, but he was working with it.

Buck set up another carabiner, pulled the second rope off his back, and threaded it through. “Okay, so the next set is transitional before we move into the final vertical slab before the horizontal switch.”

“And the horizontal switch is where you and Jason stalled out,” Eddie surmised, and Buck nodded as he tied a series of knots.

“Yeah.” Buck worked his way around a protrusion, and Eddie watched with a critical eye.

“Maybe yoga.”

Buck huffed a little. “Yeah, probably, but the last time I tried a class like that, I got hit on a lot, and it was weird.”

“Well, I could go with you and cockblock,” Eddie said in amusement, and Buck laughed. “For the benefit of everyone involved.”

“I’m gonna say the biggest benefit would be to me,” Buck admitted. “Those classes are expensive, and even the instructor suggested private lessons while he stared at my chest like my face didn’t exist.”

“I hope you got a refund,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, the manager of the gym apologized and refunded my entire membership. It was just a lot. But that was years ago, and I use the gym here exclusively. Maybe we could find a class to share with Christopher.”

Eddie swallowed hard. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

It was kind of amazing that he didn’t have to work to include his kid in the relationship he wanted to have with Buck. He’d had potential partners in the past make noise about how they supported him as a single parent, but they always failed when it came to actually taking his son into account.

“I see people teaching classes in the park sometimes,” Buck said as he prepared for another jump. “I’ll research it since he seemed to like being outside. It might make it seem more like a fun activity versus another physical therapy option.”

Eddie wasn’t able to respond before Buck made the next jump, and he forced himself to concentrate on his own movement. They were getting precariously close to the ceiling, so he could see the transition from vertical to horizontal, and it wasn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination. It also didn’t worry him as much as he figured it should. The only way to accomplish it would be an assisted jump, much like they’d done when they started.

He watched Buck prepare for the maneuver silently, creating space between him and the wall for Eddie to occupy by tethering himself to a secure point and bracing his feet on a protrusion and a handhold.

“Did he ever try it?”

“No,” Buck said with a frown and glanced up at the ceiling. “You don’t have to either.”

Eddie snapped a tether from his harness onto Buck’s then started to crawl over his partner like he was a protrusion on the wall. Buck laughed a little but shifted around easily until Eddie was in position.

“In a do or die scenario, Buck, I’m always going to do,” Eddie said and lifted himself over his partner and took a deep breath as Buck caught both of his feet. He centered himself, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “Go.”

Eddie caught the handholds and was a little surprised because he’d expected a fall. The room was strangely quiet as he pulled himself up, hooked a foot into a hold, and anchored with a carabiner. They weren’t finished. He wondered if others had made it this far without the captain as an audience and what they were thinking. Once the anchor was complete, he set up the belay and lowered the rope to Buck, who just gave him a nod before he surrendered to the belay and released his hold on the vertical slab.

The climbing wall was every bit of three stories, but they had the auto-belays to prevent a fall, and the floor underneath them was covered in crash mats. Still, if they were really dangling off the side of a ravine, Buck’s life would be in his hands. He worked steadily and focused entirely on Buck until the man made his first handhold. Eddie tied off the belay, creating a second tether between them for the rest of the climb. They moved across the ceiling easily enough until they reached a shining silver bell, which Buck knocked against with his fist with a grin.

He offered Eddie the same fist, and Eddie bumped it gently, ignoring the cheering below them.

“Good job, gentlemen!” Ray Gaines called out. “Consider your PT done for the day.”

* * * *

“Are you staring because you think I’m hot or what?” Eddie asked and focused on Thomas Marshall, who laughed richly. “Seriously.”

“Oh, you know what you look like,” Thomas said with a grin. “But, no, I’m just trying to figure out what you’ve got going on that Jason didn’t. He and Buck should’ve worked, but they didn’t. They got along great and never seemed to have problems communicating. They certainly got the job done in the field, and there were never any injuries. But it’s like you and Buck could…. Did you ever watch that movie Pacific Rim? Because I think you and Buck are like capable of driving a giant robot together.”

Eddie laughed and focused on sorting the supply bag that he was taking inventory of. It was one of four bags that were used on the helicopter for calls, and it contained climbing gear that would get lost in the rope storage, which was in a compartment.

“There are levels of trust,” Eddie said as he considered it. “And sometimes you just meet someone, and you know that you can trust that person with your life. Did Buck ever tell you about my first shift?”

“No, he really doesn’t discuss the 118.”

“I was a real dick to him from like the minute we met,” Buck said as he grabbed one of the bags that hadn’t been inventoried yet and unzipped it. Sae scooted up onto the table and picked up the clipboard. “I’d already spent a whole year there basically getting told on the regular that I shouldn’t even be on the job. My self-esteem was in the basement, then Bobby hires the guy that graduated at the top of his class at the academy without announcing it until after the fact.”

He motioned toward Eddie. “Decorated war veteran, with most of my qualifications and none of my reputation.”

“Decorated?” Sae questioned.

“Silver Star and Purple Heart would be the ones you’d most readily recognize,” Eddie said as he gathered up a few loose carabiners and put them on a large ring. “But I served for nine years, so there are various medals that are awarded for service in specific regions and operations. I was involuntarily severed due to losing a kidney with the rank of Staff Sergeant.”

“The Purple Heart is for combat injuries, right? Was it just the kidney?” Sae asked. Eddie was surprised that she hadn’t already heard discussion about it, as the gym had been crowded when he’d told the story to Ray Gaines.

“Three bullets, several broken ribs, and a dislocated shoulder,” Eddie said and counted the carabiners. “This is short by four.” He looked up to find her making a note on the inventory sheet. He set the ring aside and pulled out an auto-ascender, which he checked the function of. “They removed the kidney in Germany, and I was brought back to the US.” He cleared his throat and focused on Buck. “And he was really mean to me my first day on the job.”

Buck laughed. “You took it like a champ.”

“Near the end of the shift, we get called to a collector’s house,” Eddie said. “He had all kinds of weapons in his collection. He’d accidentally fired a grenade into his own leg.”

“Holy shit,” Thomas muttered.

“He thought it was a practice round,” Buck said. “Eddie realized on the ambulance ride that it wasn’t. It was fortunate that we were even in the ambulance, as it wasn’t a normal circumstance for me. Bobby did it to force me to work with the new guy and stop being a dick. The LAPD Bomb Squad was unwilling to remove the grenade, and they called in the military, but the patient wasn’t going to live long enough for that,” Buck said. “So, Eddie offered to take it out.”

“And Evan Buckley suddenly decided to be a team player and volunteered to help me,” Eddie said, and Buck huffed. “But he did great and was cooler under pressure than I expected a civilian to ever be when faced with a live grenade.” He paused. “So, we left the grenade in the ambulance and moved the patient to another for transport. About four minutes after that, the grenade exploded and destroyed the ambulance.”

“Why do men feel compelled to bond of explosions?” Sae asked and shook her head when they laughed.

“But his arrival did highlight the fact that no one else, not even the new guy, got treated the way I was treated. Unfortunately, he just became a target for Howard Han after I left,” Buck said quietly as he checked through the bag. “The OTC med bag is missing.”

“Missing?” Sae said with a huff. “Then it’s probably in one of the other bags.” She pulled the only one that hadn’t been opened to her and unzipped it. “Or on the bird.”

“We didn’t see anything lying around,” Thomas said. “It’s a blue bag, Eddie.”

“There are no med bags in this,” Eddie said. “The Grigri is missing.”

“Great,” Buck muttered and pushed the bag he was working with closer to Sae. “Anything else?”

“There are two ATCs, not something I prefer to use. If we’re going to work out of this bag on the regular, then I’d like two Grigris instead of the one that is currently on the stocking list.” Eddie set aside the ATCs and the auto-ascender.

“I’m the only one that uses one,” Buck said. “We can get a couple out of the supply closet. Sae, will you update the equipment list?”

“Yeah, I’ll get the iPad and update the list. I was taught to use an ATC.”

“The Grigri is safer,” Eddie said. “At the academy, we were required to qualify using the ATC. I figured that was due to the age of the instructors. As far as belaying devices go, the Grigri has an auto-lock feature that lowers the risk of making a mistake. There’s no regulation about which we can use on the job, obviously.”

“We can teach you how to use it,” Buck said. “But you’ll want to practice a lot with the Grigri before making the change if you even like it. Some people hate it, but most professional climbers advocate the more modern Grigri for safety purposes alone when it comes to belay devices.” He paused. “Also, the Grigri weighs more than an ATC, which might be more of a concern for you.” He frowned at the bag Eddie had in front of him. “Grigris are 150 bucks or more a piece, so Ray’s gonna want to know where the other one went.”

“It isn’t the one we had in the gym?” Eddie questioned.

“No, that kit all stays together. So, there should be one in that bag and one in our kit for the helicopter. Anything else missing?”

“The inventory lists three bags of cams, but there are only two, and they’re both unopened,” Eddie said. “I’ve already noted that for the resupply.”

“Did C have a climbing rescue we didn’t hear about?” Thomas questioned. “They normally stick around to brag.”

“We passed Martin and Jake as we were heading for breakfast,” Buck said. “They didn’t stop, and now that I think about it… Jake didn’t hit on Eddie, and that’s weird because he shoots his shot with every single attractive person he sees.”

“Granted,” Thomas said and focused on Eddie. “He’s a great lay and doesn’t do attachments. Just FYI.”

Eddie made a face and shook his head. “I prefer attachments, honestly.”

“We’ll make sure he gets that info. He’s not an asshole, so he’s good about boundaries,” Sae said and slid off the table. “Let me get the iPad, and we’ll have to ask Ray about the Grigri since another will have to be purchased to meet the station requirements he set.”

“I’ll show you where the supply closet is for the climbing supplies,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded. “If you’re finished with that inventory?”

“Yeah, we need the Grigris, another bag of cams, four carabiners and one set of gloves needs to be replaced.” He motioned to the gloves in question. “Loose stitching in the thumbs.”

He followed Buck away from the table and through the station to a large walk-in supply closet. “This place is huge. Was it weird?”

“Moving from a light brigade to a task force station?” Buck questioned as he pulled a clipboard off the wall.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Because it’s weird for me.”

“I had a lot of adjustments to make,” Buck acknowledged as he made some notes on the clipboard. “Ray’s command style was one of them. He requires obedience in the field. But he also requires feedback, suggestions, and active problem-solving. The guy I replaced on the team was removed from his squad for disobeying orders and arguing with him on two different occasions. Ray can accept a change of plans in the midst of a situation because he knows shit happens, but if you do something reckless he told you explicitly not to do, you’d better have a solid gold reason.”

Eddie nodded and picked up two Grigris from the shelf, then pulled open a drawer labeled gloves. There were several different kinds, but he found the climbing version quickly enough and pulled those, as well. “I appreciate the structure and order of that. I think that Bobby is too lenient sometimes, but that’s just about my experience in the Army, so I’ve tried to set it aside. His management style works well for most people even if he was more permissive regarding the social dynamics of the shift.”

“He appears remorseful.”

“He made all the changes that he could before and after I complained to him about Chimney,” Eddie said. “And worked with HR on it without the benefit of a formal complaint. I can’t imagine how Chad’s situation will shake out in HR with Chim being fired.”

“Honestly, drunk driving was the last thing I would’ve expected from him. He knows how dangerous it is and how much damage can be done to others. I don’t know why I thought better of him.”

“Because he’s a paramedic, and you expected empathy from him,” Eddie said shortly. “But we both know that he was trained to be a paramedic because his first captain wouldn’t let him do anything else. I’m sure part of it was because he was a racist bag of dicks, but Chimney was already in his late thirties when he joined the LAFD. And he’s fit, but he’s never pursued the right certifications to do the shit he acted like he wanted to do.”

Buck nodded. “Yeah.” He leaned on the doorframe as he hooked the clipboard back on the wall. “So, you prefer attachments.”

“Casual sex is easy to come by,” Eddie said and shrugged. “Cams?”

“Blue crate above your head.”

Eddie passed Buck what he’d already gathered and grabbed the crate. “But affection and companionship doesn’t grow on trees. Plus, I’d like more kids, and no matter what route I take on that subject, I’m going to need a partner.”

“Adoption?”

“I’m open to it,” Eddie said easily. “You?”

“Yeah, totally,” Buck said warmly. “And I have a fund for surrogacy. I’ve been saving for a few years for it.”

Eddie found that kind of commitment stupidly attractive, but he decided to keep that to himself. Buck didn’t need any help in the ego department. He pulled open a drawer full of carabiners and grabbed four. They returned to the table where Sae and Thomas were working, restocked the bag, and packed everything back up to go on the helicopter. The four of them meandered out to the bird together and found Cohn in the cockpit doing a system check.

Buck climbed into the co-pilot seat and picked up a clipboard. Eddie watched as his partner started working on Cohn’s paperwork. There was something interesting about the way the four of them moved around each other and shared tasks without discussion. He hoped that he’d find and join their rhythm quickly.

Chapter 11

The day passed in a blur of tasks, cleaning, and eventually, shortly after lunch, Eddie found himself sitting in the rec area with a training manual he’d pulled off the bookshelf. His next goal was the SARTECH I, something he knew that many on the shift already had. He wanted to get it before the transfer request, but the opportunity had fallen in his lap, and he couldn’t have ever thought about passing it up.

There were a lot of elements and skills that he learned in the Army, involving navigation and hazardous terrain that he was familiar with. None of the material was hard, but it was a lot to memorize when it came to procedures. Plus, there would be departmental requirements that he’d have to pass for an internal review to achieve the certification for the LAFD.

The triple crew had gone out once earlier in the day because someone had set a series of fires in park trash cans. Annoying and certainly a safety hazard, but not something that required a large crew. They’d only gotten the call because they were the closest to the park in question and readily available.

The alarms sounded in a series of three chimes, which meant they were all being activated. He set aside the manual and trotted toward the ready room with everyone else. Fortunately, it was a big space, so despite having the whole shift gearing up, there was no running into each other.

“We’ve got a ten-car pile up on the Vincent Thomas Bridge,” Gaines called out as he went to his own locker. “USAR, the triple, both ambos, U350-1 and USAR-56H are being dispatched. The 133 is also responding. There are at least three cars in LA Harbor and multiple victims in the water. Cohn, you’re our eyes in the sky. Waller, I need you on the helo with him as co-pilot.”

“Yes, sir,” a woman near the back called out.

Eddie let Buck pull him from the ready room, and they headed for one of the custom F-350s while Thomas and Sae went to one of the ambulances.

“The captain will ride with us,” Buck said as he opened the driver’s side door.

Eddie nodded and got in the backseat. “Who supplies these trucks?”

“They would’ve been inspected by the crew running the triple,” Buck said as Ray joined them with a tablet in hand. He offered the man a headset after putting on his own.

Eddie grabbed a headset, put it on, and activated it as they started moving.

“133 has arrived on the scene,” Ray reported as he worked on the tablet. “Captain Mehta has upped the vehicle count to fifteen, and he’s requesting additional ambulances. There are at least four fatalities so far. LAPD has closed the bridge and moved all the vehicles not involved in the crash from the scene. All four lanes are obstructed, and one vehicle is hanging off the bridge with entrapment. They’re working to secure it.” He sucked air through his teeth. “School bus involved.”

“How many kids?” Buck asked.

“Twenty-two. Other drivers in the accident and those who stopped to help were trying to get the kids out of the bus because it was smoking when the 133 arrived. They’re all elementary school-aged. Mehta is reporting minor injuries for the kids, but the bus driver is dead.” Ray cleared his throat. “Cohn, do an aerial survey and check the river for casualties.”

Casualties. Eddie hadn’t heard victims referred to in that way since joining the LAFD. He curled his toes briefly in his boots and rolled his shoulders. The climb earlier in the shift had turned out to be a decent workout, but he wasn’t tired. Still, there was a little knot of nerves in his stomach as they crossed through the perimeter that the LAPD had set up and came up on the largest wreck he’d seen since coming to LA. The 118 would’ve never been called to a scene as large as the one they were on as a light brigade. The 133 was a full company, but they only had a ladder, the captain’s SUV, and two ambulances on the scene.

They parked, and Ray Gaines left the truck immediately. Buck and Eddie followed.

“Kumar, where are we needed first?”

“The car slid off the bridge,” Captain Mehta said. “We were able to secure it to the ladder before that, so it’s hanging, and there are two passengers left in it. We did get the baby out of the back seat doing something we shouldn’t have. But I’m down both of my heavy rescue assets at this point—one due to a partially dislocated shoulder, and the other took a blow to the head when the car fell.”

“Where are they?” Ray questioned.

“In the ladder.”

“Let’s put them in the U350, and someone can drive them to the hospital.”

“I’ve got a probie so green he makes me want to cry,” Mehta said, and Ray laughed.

“Thomas, Sae—start working through the victims and triage. Buck, Eddie—you’re going over for the car. Gear up.”

Mehta nodded. “Rogers! With me!”

Eddie glanced over to where Mehta was heading and wasn’t all that surprised to see Chad Rogers. He wondered who had been traded to the 118 to get Rogers at the 133.

“Let’s get our gear before the truck gets turned over to that kid. How old is he?”

“Nineteen.”

“God,” Buck muttered and opened up the bed cover of the U350. He pulled out two large bags and passed one to Eddie. “Each bag is a full kit like the one you packed for the helicopter earlier.”

“Great,” Eddie said and shouldered the bag while Buck closed the tailgate and put the cover back into place.

Rogers and two men that Eddie hadn’t met were heading their way.

“Buck, this is Chad Rogers,” Eddie said. “Chad, Evan Buckley.”

“Oh,” Chad said, and his gaze drifted over Buck in frank admiration. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m sure,” Buck said and offered him the keys. “Don’t scratch the paint—it’s my favorite one.”

Chad blushed as he took the keys. “Yes, sir.” He exhaled noisily. “This is Mark Telson and Al Maynard—they saved the baby but took a big hit for it.”

“Well, take care of them,” Eddie said pointedly and inclined his head toward the U350, then huffed a little as he prodded Buck toward the 133’s ladder truck.

“Keep your eyeballs in your head, kid. You couldn’t pull that one with both hands, a Halligan, and a sincere prayer to our Lord and Savior,” one of the men with Rogers announced.

“Mark! Gah, you promised to be nice to me,” Chad complained as they walked away.

“Mark’s not wrong, though,” Buck muttered, and Eddie cleared his throat to keep from laughing on the scene.

The mid-sized SUV was secured at several points using cables from the ladder truck. The damage done from the crash seemed to be all front-end, which was good and made the situation less urgent as it didn’t seem like the vehicle was going to break apart. A paramedic from the 133 was speaking with the occupants through dispatch, so at least they had communication.

Buck motioned to the firefighter at the side of the bridge, and the man turned off his radio connection. “Where’s their kid, Joel?”

“She’s in the cab of the ladder with my partner,” Joel said and motioned behind them. “She’s not injured, and we couldn’t transport her anyway. Our ambos already left with critical patients.”

“Okay, tell them that we’re coming down for them. Any injuries?”

“No, but she’s six months pregnant,” Joel said roughly. “And a nervous wreck, obviously.”

Buck nodded and went to the front of the ladder, and Eddie followed. He paused in the open doorway. “Hey, Macy.”

“Hey Buck, this is Josey Desmond. She’s two.”

The baby reached out and offered Buck a bright smile. He caught her little hand with his fingers gently. “It’s nice to meet you, Josey.”

The little girl laughed and tried to lurch right out of the paramedic’s lap. She caught her easily with a grin. “She’s very friendly and happy. It’s a relief because a screaming toddler wouldn’t make her parents feel better about their situation.”

Buck nodded. “We’re going down to get them. Might want to close this door until we have an ambulance in place.”

“Yeah,” Macy said with a nod.

Buck backed up and shut the door carefully. “Okay.”

“Why did you want to see her?”

“Her parents are going to ask us if she’s okay,” Buck said as they walked back to the side of the bridge. “I want to be able to provide an honest answer. It would matter, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “It would matter a lot if I were the one in that vehicle.” He took a deep breath as they knelt where their bag was and started pulling out equipment. “Bobby discouraged that kind of thing.”

“For others but not for himself,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded. ‘The thing is that a victim doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and treating them like they do is just depersonalization, and that can’t be good for their trauma. Those two people in that vehicle are currently bargaining with a god they may or may not truly believe in. They’re wondering who’ll take care of their daughter if they die. When we get down there, he’s going to insist that she gets evacuated first. He might even fight us if we disagree.”

“Then I’ll take him,” Eddie said as he buckled his harness. “You and your sweet face won’t be intimidating unless you just say nothing at all.”

“Rude. But also true. Once I start talking to someone, they quickly realize I’m a total pushover.”

Thomas joined them at that point with a basket and his own kit. “Sae’s moving the ambulance into place. We’re going to move their daughter into it to prepare for transport. We’re hoping the man is ambulatory and doesn’t need to be transported on a gurney.”

“Neither are reporting injuries,” Joel said from the railing. “But she’s waffling between crying and giving me end-of-life instructions.”

“Great,” Thomas muttered as their captain arrived.

Ray looked over the edge then at the ladder. “I’ll run the winch. The LAFD wants us to use the crane to pull this car up and back onto the bridge.”

“How’s the water operation going?” Eddie questioned.

“Got two missing at this point, so a search for bodies is underway,” Ray said. “We’ve put out a call to the Coast Guard to help with that. Six dead, four in decent condition, and one in critical still on the scene. Cohn and Waller are in the process of evacuating another critical case.”

Minutes later, they were both climbing down to the car on opposite sides. It was an easy and short climb since the ladder was keeping the car in place. The other team wouldn’t have had issues at all if the fence under the car hadn’t collapsed during the rescue.

“Hey folks,” Buck said easily as they reached the front of the vehicle. “I’m Buck, and that’s Eddie. We’re going to get you out of here. Thanks for your patience while we worked on the situation.”

“Yeah,” the woman said, her hand tight in her husband’s. “Is my daughter okay?”

“Yes, she’s waiting for you and will be transferred to the ambulance that’s being prepped. We’ll take you to a hospital for a check-up and probably a truly invasive ultrasound.” She laughed weakly, and Buck opened the passenger door.

“I’m Kimber, and my husband’s name is Jack,” the woman said as she cupped her baby bump with her free hand. “This is Benjamin. We hope he can stay right where he is for another three or so months.” She took a deep breath. “Josey’s really okay?”

“She’s wearing a green and white checkered dress,” Buck said. “And her hair is in two little buns. She’s really okay.” Kimber relaxed. “Okay, in order to make sure we can keep Benjamin safe, Jack, I need you to exit the vehicle.”

“Kimber first,” Jack said firmly.

“Her safe transfer is more important than who goes up first,” Eddie interjected. “We’re bringing her up in a basket, which Buck has on his side of the vehicle. In order to make sure that operation goes smoothly, you need to make room for Buck to move her around.” He opened the driver’s side door. “You’re in the way, Jack.”

“I….” The man exhaled slowly and released his wife’s hand. “You promise to take care of her?”

“Like they’re both mine,” Buck said immediately. “We’re going to get all three of you out of this safely, and Josey is waiting on the bridge. She’d probably like her dad more than the stranger currently holding her.”

Jack unbuckled his seatbelt with shaking hands. “She can’t meet a stranger. It worries us sick.”

“I won’t be too heavy?” Kimber asked.

“No, ma’am,” Buck said with a smile. “You won’t be too heavy.”

“I’ve gained a lot of weight,” she said earnestly. “I’m nearly 150 pounds.”

Eddie noted that even her husband was looking at her like she was kind of crazy. “Buck lifts 400 pounds on a weight bench when he works out every single day, ma’am.”

“Oh.” She huffed a little. “Right. Sorry.”

“I told you that you’re not too big,” Jack said in exasperation. He cupped her head then. “Be safe.”

“You, too,” she said.

Eddie worked the rescue harness onto Jack as Buck adjusted one to use for Kimber. He tethered the man to his own harness. “Okay, move in my direction.”

“The rope will hold us both?”

“It’s rated for 3000 pounds,” Eddie said wryly, and Jack huffed a little.

“Sorry, I’ve got a lot of transitional worry.”

“Expected in your circumstances,” Eddie said and kept a hand on the man as he moved out of the vehicle with one final look in his wife’s direction. He activated his radio. “Cap, I’m ready.”

“We can’t stay and watch her transfer to the basket?” Jack questioned and grabbed onto the door even as they started to get hauled upward.

“The faster I get you on the bridge, the quicker I can help my partner with your wife,” Eddie said, and Jack let go of the door.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for loving your wife,” Eddie said quietly. “Just trust us.”

Macy was waiting at the top, just a few feet away, with the baby in her arms. Eddie barely got Jack off his harness before the man was taking his daughter.

“Da! Da!”

Eddie smiled as he watched the toddler bouncing happily in her father’s arms, then went back to the edge to check Buck’s progress. Kimber was in the basket and the progress up was much slower to prevent nausea. He glanced back at the man and found Jack sitting on the back of the ambulance. Eddie gave the man a nod and got a smile in return.

Joel and Macy were on hand to take the basket from Buck. Eddie waited until they’d moved her away from the edge before he went to give Buck a hand up. They held hands a little longer than necessary, but not so much that it would be overtly obvious to anyone else. They put away their gear and separated to work the scene. Eddie ended up with Sae, who seemed to enjoy using the jaws more than any other firefighter he’d ever worked with.

The tow trucks started showing up, but the real game changer was the arrival of an empty school bus. Eddie helped to herd a bunch of little kids onto the new bus with several members of the 133. When he returned to the main part of the scene, several cars had already been put on tow truck beds to be hauled away. Buck was using a broom to sweep up glass into a pile.

Eddie walked over to him. “How’d you get broom duty?”

“Everyone’s out of the cars and being sorted for removal, and I’m not needed for that,” Buck said with a shrug. “So, I got a broom from one of the tow trucks to help out. They’re the ones working their asses off now. There’s a lot of it, and the sooner we clean up, the faster we can reopen the bridge.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah.” He trotted off to find his own broom.

* * * *

Buck leaned on the 133’s ladder with a bottle of water and stretched his neck. Chad Rogers appeared in front of him with a bright smile and the keys to the U350. Buck took the keys when they were offered. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Chad said. “It’s a nice ride. I didn’t know that the 56 had that kind of thing.”

“We’re a task force station and have a lot of customized vehicles,” Buck explained as he pocketed the keys. “We have to be mobile and useful in a variety of situations in urban and rural SAR.”

“You normally ride on the helicopter.”

“Yeah,” Buck said and took another sip of water and waited for the kid to get around to his point.

“Can I have your number?”

“I’m eight years older than you,” Buck said, and Chad shrugged. “And I’m seeing someone.”

“Is it serious?”

“It is for me,” Buck said honestly. “How did you end up with the 133 today? Did you transfer?”

“Oh, no, I’m happy at the 118, and I like Captain Nash a lot,” Chad said quickly. “Chimney was supposed to come in during this shift to clean out his things. Bobby thought I might be more comfortable working elsewhere for today, so he and Captain Mehta made a probie trade, which amused them.”

“It’s good to work with other teams and houses, even as a probationary, so you should volunteer for overtime even if you don’t need the money.”

“I need the money,” Chad said quickly. “I don’t live off my family.”

“It’s good to stand on your own,” Buck said. “But be careful that you don’t alienate your family by being too independent. It’s okay to, you know, need people.” He looked around and found Eddie chatting with Thomas and Sae. They were clearly talking about his situation based on the amused looks he was getting from all three of them. “Did you make a bet with those two guys about getting my number?”

Chad huffed. “No, but they tried. They’re not bad guys, though, just easily amused and nosy.” He stared for a moment. “This person you’re seeing—it’s the real deal?”

“Yes.”

He made a face. “Right, of course.” Then he shrugged. “Good luck then.”

“Thanks.” Buck shook his head a little as the guy trotted off toward a group of people from the 133.

Eddie walked across the road and leaned on the ladder truck next to him. “I’m trying to remember if I was that bold at nineteen, and I don’t think so.”

“I was,” Buck admitted and grinned when Eddie laughed. “You should follow me home after shift.”

“I should,” Eddie agreed and pressed their shoulders together briefly before going to the cooler to get some bottles of water. “Sae wants to tell you about her growing addiction to cutting up cars with the jaws.”

“She always acts like she’s surprised by how much she likes it,” Buck said as they headed for their team members. “Hey, Sae, I have an idea…have you considered therapy for your destructive tendencies?”

She huffed loudly and looked appalled. “I don’t want to treat it; I want to indulge it!”

Buck laughed. “There’s this place in Santa Monica called Healthy Destruction that has the rooms you can rent that is full of stuff you can break on purpose.”

“Are you being serious right now?” Sae questioned with a grin, and he nodded. “We have to go as soon as possible!”

* * * *

“It’s a construction disaster in here,” Buck said as he opened the door from the garage that led into the kitchen. “Well, the front part of the house is coming together. I’ve gutted the whole place since I bought it about eight months ago.”

“The kitchen looks great.” Eddie dropped his keys on the counter and tucked his fingers into the front of Buck’s jeans. “Come here.”

Buck smiled all the way into the kiss and laughed a little as he was pressed up against the counter. Eddie let his hands fall to Buck’s hips and shuddered as the kiss deepened. He’d rarely ever wanted anyone the way he wanted Buck, but he wasn’t interested in dissecting that.

“I’ve got a nice big bed,” Buck said as they parted briefly and groaned as Eddie sought another kiss. “We could be doing this naked, is what I’m saying.”

Eddie hummed under his breath. “Lead the way then.”

Buck snagged his hand and pulled him from the kitchen. The trip through the house was quick, and he didn’t have time to see more than the fact that it was indeed a little bit of a mess on the construction front. Buck’s bedroom had all dark wood with blue accents, and the bed was the main feature. Eddie pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside as Buck did the same. He shoved off his shoes and discarded the rest of his clothes as fast as he could.

Eddie couldn’t keep his hands to himself, so he invaded Buck’s space even as he yanked the duvet off the bed and tossed it on the floor. Buck urged him onto the bed and slid on top of him. He loved it and spread his legs as he pulled his partner close for another kiss. Buck was warm and heavy on top of him, and the hard length of a cock against his own was delicious.

Every kiss and touch felt like an indulgence, and it had been a very long time since he’d had something just for himself. Eddie wrapped his legs around Buck’s waist and groaned as Buck all but melted against him. They rocked against each other eagerly, and Eddie knew the friction would be enough to get him off, but he wanted more.

“I….” He groaned as Buck nuzzled against his neck. He arched into the attention and clenched his hands on Buck’s back. “Will you….”

“Whatever you want,” Buck murmured and cupped his ass with one hand. “My test results were good. Can I blow you?”

“Hell yes,” Eddie said and let his legs drop from around Buck’s waist. “And I want you to fuck me.”

Buck reached out and opened a drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out a condom and some lube, which he dropped on the bed then he slid right down. Eddie shuddered as Buck licked up the length of his cock. He threw his hands up and wrapped them around the bars of the headboard. Then he spread his legs and shuddered as Buck took his cock into his mouth. The pleasure was intense and perfect.

Buck’s mouth was hot, insistent, and he was clearly enjoying it. Eddie groaned softly as Buck grabbed the lube and flicked it open. He flexed his hips just a little, and Buck made a soft, pleased sound around his cock. Eddie did it again, carefully fucking into Buck’s eager mouth. He was so close to coming that it was shocking as he could normally maintain for a very respectable amount of time.

“I’m close,” he confessed and cupped the back of Buck’s head as the man sucked him all the way in and swallowed around the head of his cock. “Fuck.”

Slick fingers pressed against his asshole, and any hope Eddie had of not coming disappeared. Buck slid his finger right in as he came. He took in one ragged breath after another, so sated that he could barely think.

Buck slid off his cock, and licked his lips. “You good?”

“I’m fucking fantastic,” Eddie said and rocked down on the insistent press of Buck’s hand. “Give me more.”

Buck added a second finger with a nod and watched with dark eyes as Eddie couldn’t help but move. “You like to be fucked?”

“I love to be fucked,” Eddie corrected and palmed his own cock as he was still half-hard.

“Exclusively?” Buck questioned as he added a third finger and pressed purposefully against his prostate.

Eddie shuddered and released his dick to keep from getting too worked up again. “No, I can…Jesus. You can have me any way you want me.”

Buck raised an eyebrow but then nodded thoughtfully. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

Eddie really hoped so.

Buck pulled his fingers free, grabbed the condom, and rolled it on with practiced ease. “How do you want it?”

“Like this,” Eddie murmured and pulled Buck over him.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Buck said as he sought a kiss.

Eddie cupped the back of Buck’s head and groaned into the soft brushing of lips against his own. Buck pushed into his body with one long stroke, and Eddie arched into the penetration with a gasp. His partner stilled, settled one hand on his hip, and kissed him. He’d rarely ever had another man treat him so tenderly. It was a startling revelation, and Eddie really didn’t know what to do with it. All of his serious romantic relationships had been with women. Maybe that was the difference, or maybe Buck was just a very attentive and tender lover.

Buck started to move, and the pleasure was nearly overwhelming. Eddie braced his feet on the mattress and spread his legs wide as he moved with Buck. It was absolutely perfect, and rarely had first-time sex with anyone had been so damned good. He could’ve chalked it up to experience on both of their parts or maybe it was more about the trust. But either way, it was everything he could want, and he loved it.

Eddie wrapped his legs around Buck’s waist, and Buck responded by sinking into him with a soft groan. The change in position trapped his leaking cock between their bodies, and Eddie couldn’t help but arch into the pressure. Their skin was slick with sweat, and the hard grind of Buck’s cock into his ass was so fucking good that he didn’t know how he hadn’t already come his brains out again.

Buck slid a hand under them, cupped his ass, and the slight shift in their position had the head of his cock pressing hard against Eddie’s prostate.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Buck murmured. “That’s what you need.”

It was exactly what he needed, and before he could even verbally agree, he was coming, spilling all over his stomach with a bone-rattling groan. He couldn’t help but tighten around his lover, clutching at Buck’s back with both hands as the other man trembled and moaned softly against his cheek as he came, too.

He cupped the back of Buck’s head as they both moved into another kiss.

* * * *

Eddie had expected it to happen, but the call to come into HR for an interview was still kind of nerve-wracking. He hadn’t reported Chimney’s behavior for more than one reason, and he had to admit there was this part of him that had been taught not to rock the boat practically from infancy. He certainly had no intention of admitting such a thing, so he hoped they didn’t make him explain himself and his own lack of a formal grievance.

Both Ray Gaines and Bobby Nash were in the waiting room when he entered. Which briefly threw him off stride as he wasn’t sure how to take their presence. Bobby certainly had a cause to be there, but Ray didn’t. Ray, as far as Eddie knew, had never even spoken with Chimney Han. They both stood, and Eddie was glad that he decided to wear a uniform to the appointment as they were both in their duty uniforms.

“Sirs.”

Bobby Nash raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ve rarely seen you look more relaxed in your life, Eddie. Stop by a spa on the way over?”

Eddie flushed and glanced briefly upward as if God could get him out of his current circumstances, and Ray Gaines laughed. “Just had a great morning, sir.” He exhaled noisily and wondered if it was bad form to curse his partner out for the immense amount of afterglow he couldn’t seem to get rid of. “Why are you both here?”

“Bobby’s trying to climb up on a cross, and I’m just here for advocacy,” Ray said and inclined his head toward a door in the back of the room. “We’re all waiting on you at this point.”

He checked his watch despite knowing he wasn’t remotely late. “Will this run more than an hour? I have to pick up my son at 2:20. I can ask his nurse to do it, but I need to let her know now.”

“Might be best to send a text,” Ray said. “That way, no one is rushing.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said and pulled out his phone. He sent Carla a text as he followed Ray and Bobby across the waiting room and into a conference room. He had a thumbs-up in response before he was pointed toward a chair.

“Good afternoon, Firefighter Diaz. My name is Corrin Faulkner,” a woman said as she settled into a seat on the opposite side of him. “First, I’m relieved to see you in such good condition following your experience. Personally, I’d have made a blanket fort and crawled in for a month or more.”

Eddie laughed. “Blanket forts are not exactly relaxing when you have an eight-year-old.” He watched her open a folder and spread her hands out over the documents she had. “You’re the head of HR, right? Isn’t this a little below your pay grade?”

“I don’t normally handle behavioral complaints,” she acknowledged. “But the circumstances aren’t normal, and the deputy mayor is profoundly irritated. Unfortunately, Firefighter Rogers vented his frustrations to his mother, and she reported the situation to her mother, who….” She waved her hands. “Landed on my office like a T-Rex. Firefighter Rogers has done the best he can to mitigate those circumstances and agreed to file a complaint to make things easier with his grandmother, but he really didn’t want to do it.”

“Unfortunate.”

“Certainly,” she said and blew air out between her lips. “So, we’re here, and I’m obligated to ask you a series of questions that I’m sure you’d rather not be asked since you didn’t file a complaint regarding Mr. Han’s behavior when you worked together. In fact, you’re the fourth firefighter to leave the 118 rather than file a complaint, and I don’t know why. Firefighter Buckley declined to come in at all for an interview, and I was instructed by the chief’s office not to push him.”

“I can’t speak for the others,” Eddie said. “Not even Buck when it comes as to why they transferred rather than complain.” She nodded. “Howard Han couches his verbal and emotional abuse in such a way that nearly all the time, he can claim it’s a joke even if no one laughs. Often, you get put in a position of looking like a jerk for being unable to take a joke.

“In a male-dominated environment like the LAFD, there is a certain level of competition at play that is neither negative nor positive most of the time. When there is respect and friendship mixed in, it’s fine. When the respect is missing, it gets toxic and sometimes violent.”

She nodded. “Okay. How does it translate into giving Howard Han a pass on abusive behavior for you personally?”

“Well,” Eddie said, and because he had no choice but to tell the truth, he decided to put his cards on the table. “The first thing I was taught to endure was verbal abuse, ma’am. I grew up in a deeply dysfunctional home, and I’ve been keeping the boat steady for as long as I can remember because my mother can’t tolerate anything that doesn’t go her way. I honed that skill in the Army. Compartmentalization is the difference between life and death in theater.

“All of that being said, if I were pressed to provide a concrete answer for the lack of formal complaints at the 118, I would have to say that it is essentially….” He made a face. “It’s Captain Nash’s fault.”

Beside him, Bobby huffed in shock.

Eddie laughed. “Here’s the thing about Captain Nash, he’s very invested in his team, and the result is that nearly everyone who works for him just doesn’t want to make him unhappy. It’s kind of like when you have one decent parent, and the other is a monster. You protect the monster to make things easier for the decent parent.”

“Jesus Christ,” Ray muttered. “You’re going to be in therapy until you’re fifty.”

“And I don’t even have daddy issues,” Eddie said wryly, and Bobby snorted. “I don’t.”

“No, your mother probably devoured those issues shortly after you left the womb,” Bobby muttered. “I try to…give people room to solve their own problems, and I admitted months ago that it wasn’t working, Ms. Faulkner.”

She nodded. “And you’ve been following the plan we set out for you to the letter, Captain Nash. You don’t need to fall on your sword today. Everyone has a role to play in this complicated situation. Mr. Han has been notified that he won’t be welcome to work for the LAFD after his license is restored due to his criminal record. Firefighter Rogers has asked that his complaint be rescinded. Your thoughts?”

“I think it’s a mistake,” Bobby said frankly. “Documenting all of Chimney’s behavior is important in case there is a legal situation in the future. The department had a legitimate reason to fire him, but that doesn’t mean he won’t fight it legally at some point.”

“Chimney flails around when he’s rejected and lashes out,” Eddie said. “That’s why he showed up at my house drunk and angry. Maybe he thought I was injured enough that he could take me in a fight. He did think I was the source of the complaint. He probably still does if no one has told him differently, and that’s fine. I’d rather him come at me than Chad Rogers. Chad is young, a little silly, and still trying to find his stride despite his grandmother’s interference. He’s not really prepared to deal with a middle-aged jerk with an inferiority complex and a temper.”

“Why do you think he backed off and left your home?” Corrin asked curiously.

“I wasn’t alone,” Eddie said. “And my partner is two of Chimney Han, on a physical level. Hell, Buck’s two of me.” He inclined his head toward Ray Gaines. “And about half of Captain Gaines.”

Ray laughed.

“And probably he realized that I wasn’t hurt the way he thought I should be,” Eddie said frankly. “And Chimney knows that he’d lose any physical fight he picked with me.”

“Are you worried about future aggression?”

“I hope that Chimney realizes that he has enough trouble and doesn’t need to create more for himself,” Eddie said evenly. “And I don’t agree with Captain Nash about Chad’s complaint.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“It should be Chad’s choice, and using him to provide a legal cushion for the department isn’t the right move for him. Moreover, it would be setting an example that he’s only allowed boundaries when his superiors think he should have them. I wouldn’t feel differently if Chimney was still on the job, by the way. I can see how it could be couched—like filing a complaint would protect others. But the thing is that none of his victims should be made to feel responsible for his potential future behavior or the department’s lack of proper procedure to deal with what amounts to bullying and hazing.

“There are a lot of issues in play here, and the stress of the complaint process can be just as damaging and hurtful as the actual situation was. This isn’t rug sweeping, Ms. Faulkner. But, the fact is that everyone should have the right to manage their own experiences in the way that benefits them as an individual.”

Eddie sat back and watched her process that then cleared his throat. “All of that being said, I’m willing to file a complaint detailing every single thing I can think of that Chimney Han did to me while I worked at the 118 that can be made available to the department’s legal team in the event that he sues.”

“And that would include…what?” she asked curiously.

“Ten months of cruel and disgusting jokes, he also questioned the parentage of my child, spread rumors about my sex life, called my ex-wife a whore repeatedly while on duty, and questioned the size of my…penis.” Her mouth dropped open. “I wish I was kidding.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “But you’re right, you don’t owe the department this.”

“No, but I’m willing to do it for Chad,” Eddie said roughly. “I can handle the weight of it, and that kid is already carrying a load because of family connections he tries to ignore and mitigate.”

Chapter 12

“How was work, Daddy?”

“Great,” Eddie said as he settled down on the couch with his son. He handed Christopher his own bowl of popcorn. “We got to climb on a bridge and save some people.”

“Cool,” Christopher said around a mouth full of popcorn. “Where’s Buck?”

“He had to have dinner with his sister and her boyfriend,” Eddie said. “Then he has to get ready for an extra shift tomorrow, so he won’t be over.”

“Are you working an extra shift, too?”

“No, he’s doing someone a favor at another station,” Eddie said. “And it’s just twelve hours.”

Christopher nodded but then frowned at the TV where they had The Flintstones paused. Eddie was doing his best to give his kid a better cartoon education, and Christopher was playing along out of pity, he was sure. “I wish there was more Captain Caveman.”

Eddie laughed. “He was the best part.” He slouched down to match his son’s posture. “What’s on your mind?”

“Is Buck your boyfriend?” Christopher questioned. “Do you like just boys? Why did you marry Mommy if you do?”

Eddie huffed a little and ate popcorn to avoid answering immediately. He’d had talks over the years that had been focused on inappropriate touching and establishing a dialogue with Christopher to ensure that he felt safe telling or asking Eddie anything. So, he could only blame himself for his circumstances.

“I’m bisexual,” Eddie said, and his son nodded. “So, I like men and women. I married your mom because….”

“Abuelo made you,” Christopher blurted out and rolled his eyes when Eddie laughed. “Grandma said so.”

“Your grandma says a lot of stuff I wish you’d ignore completely,” Eddie said frankly. “As to the other, no one made me marry your mom. I wanted to make a family with her, but it didn’t work out the way either of us hoped. It’s no one’s fault, really.”

“She said the divorce was your fault,” Christopher said. “And I told her that she ghosted us for years and didn’t get to take it back. Then I told her that she should apologize to both of us. She didn’t like that.”

Shannon never apologized for anything. It was probably the worst thing about his ex-wife. She never owned her behavior for good or bad. It made for a very destructive path through most of her personal relationships.

“Your mom likes things to go exactly as she wishes,” Eddie said. “But I had to create boundaries for us.”

“Boundaries are good,” Christopher said. “Carla says it’s healthy to protect your heart from other people’s bad behavior.” He shifted around and settled against Eddie. “I like Buck a lot.”

“Me, too,” Eddie said. “I’m really glad we met again.”

“We should go to his house,” Christopher said. “Claim some territory, so he has a hard time disappearing on us again.”

Eddie laughed. “He’s doing construction on his house right now. Maybe we could help with that and stake a claim on a whole room or something.” His son nodded seriously. “But we work together now, so Buck’s not gonna disappear again.”

“Buck’s good parent material,” Christopher announced. “So, we gotta seal the deal, Daddy. You might need another date shirt.”

Eddie nudged his son. “Have a little faith, Mijo.”

“Get a dark blue shirt. Abuelita says that’s a good color for you.” He shoved a fist full of popcorn into his mouth, picked up the remote, and started The Flintstones.

* * * *

To his chagrin, he bought three new shirts, including a dark blue one, as instructed. Eddie was the frugal sort and saved more than he spent as much as possible. Thankfully, between the benefits he had with the LAFD and the Social Security Disability Insurance, Christopher’s healthcare was well in hand. But, a part of him was still in a point of financial struggle when he was on disability, himself recovering from his injuries, and he’d been worried about providing Christopher with the best possible care. So, he saved and rarely spent money on himself.

But the new job had equaled a great pay raise, and going forward, he really didn’t need to do as much overtime as he had in the past. Christopher entered the laundry room, leaned on the dryer, and tilted his head up so he could see what Eddie was doing.

Eddie laughed. “Have a good day at school?”

“Yeah, it was great,” Christopher said. “Did you go shopping? You hate shopping.”

“Well, yeah. We needed some stuff. New socks and boxers for both of us. I also picked you up a few shirts when I got mine.”

Christopher propped his crutches against the dryer and tapped the top. Eddie picked his son up and put him on the dryer. He put the stack of shirts he’d bought for his son close to him.

“I like this,” Christopher said as he picked up a yellow and white striped long-sleeved shirt. “I was thinking that we could go to the zoo and invite Buck.”

“Yeah?” Eddie questioned. “I’ll ask him if he likes the zoo first, then we’ll make a plan.”

“Sounds great.”

“Your mom sent me a text,” Eddie said. “She’d like to have dinner with us tonight.”

Christopher huffed and picked up a T-shirt from his pile. He smiled as he unfolded it and revealed the Superman logo. “I love this.”

“I thought you might like a replacement for the one you’re going to outgrow very soon,” Eddie said. “I can tell her no.”

“She’s rude to you,” Christopher blurted out. “And that makes me uncomfortable then I don’t want to eat at all. I don’t think we should have to suffer at dinner time, Daddy.”

“Well, we don’t have to suffer at all ever,” Eddie said and tapped his son’s knee gently so Christopher would look at him. “You know her visitation is up to me to decide.”

“Yeah, because she didn’t want the court telling her to see me regularly,” Christopher retorted sourly. “She’s not a good mom anymore.” He shrugged. “Maybe she never was, and I just remember the good stuff. I was reading an article online about memories, and it said sometimes we just remember the good stuff about people who leave us behind. And she did leave us behind, Daddy. I hate that she can’t even admit it.”

“Did you want to have some extra appointments with Dr. Sam?”

Christopher was touchy about the whole psychologist issue, and they’d had to visit several before they found one that didn’t treat him like a toddler. “I like Dr. Sam. But I don’t want to say anything just to him if that makes sense. The once-a-month thing is more than enough.” He crossed his arms. “And no, I don’t want to have dinner with her. Can we invite Harry and Denny over instead?”

“I can try,” Eddie said. “They might have plans.” He pulled out his phone and went to the group chat he shared with Athena, Karen, and Hen. They used it to coordinate activities for their kids.

Eddie: I need to borrow Harry and Denny for dinner.

Hen: Ha! Done deal for us. You can keep him overnight if you want.

Karen: Date night!

It was Friday night, so he wouldn’t be battling school traffic in two different places first thing in the morning if he kept Denny, so he just sent a text confirming a sleepover. He wasn’t scheduled until Sunday, which worked out as well. Eddie checked his watch and wondered if Athena was on duty. As he was considering checking the schedule that Hen kept in a Google spreadsheet, his phone started to ring with a phone call from Athena.

“Hey, Athena.”

“Hey, how are you?”

“Great,” Eddie said and leaned on the washing machine as he watched Christopher pick up the small pair of safety scissors to start cutting off tags off the shirts. He pushed his own pile his son’s way with a grin. “How are you?”

“Not recovering from another helicopter crash,” she said with a huff, and he laughed. “I’ll call Harry to see if he’s game for a sleepover. If he is, someone will deliver him to your house before dinner.”

“Sounds good. I’ll order pizza.”

“He’ll definitely want to come for pizza,” she said with a laugh. “Let’s set aside some time to have coffee. Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you my availability, and you can decide,” Eddie said, and he heard the pop of a siren in the background. “Stay safe.”

“Some asshole just ran a stop sign right in front of me,” Athena said with a huff. “Bye.”

“Denny is spending the night, and we’re waiting on an answer from Harry,” Eddie said as he set aside the phone. “I’m sure the pizza will be enough to bring him our way.”

Christopher laughed. “Harry loves pizza. I need to go make sure my Switch is charged.”

Eddie helped him down from the dryer, and his son immediately abandoned him and the laundry. It was just as well, as the kid didn’t think that color sorting was necessary at all.

* * * *

All three kids were piled on an air mattress that took up most of the floor of Christopher’s room. Eddie leaned on the doorframe and watched them for a few moments, sleeping the way only exhausted little kids could. They’d certainly worn each other out, and he appreciated it as it meant he was basically done for the night, barring a nightmare or a planned kitchen raid. Since the boys had divested themselves of various devices for charging, he didn’t think any of them had an alarm set for midnight shenanigans.

He walked down the hall and sent a text to the group chat announcing that the kids were asleep and received a bunch of gifs of people passing out in return. Eddie had bombarded them with pictures and reports on the craziness the whole evening, so the responses weren’t a surprise. His phone buzzed a little as he dropped down on the couch and he checked his messages.

Buck: Just finished my shift. Awake?

Eddie: Yeah Christopher is having a sleepover so I’ve been run ragged all night. You worked longer than you expected.

Buck: Industrial fire. We were on the same scene for nearly five hours. I was hoping to see you.

Eddie: Come over.

Buck: You sure? I mean will the parents mind?

Eddie: It’s Harry and Denny so no one is going to mind.

Buck: Oh cool.

Eddie: You can make them breakfast in the morning.

Buck: Sounds great.

Eddie took a quick shower and put on some pajama pants for comfort. He stashed Buck’s Polo shirt, which he’d worn, in the laundry basket to hide his crime. Eddie had no explanation for himself and wasn’t about to get cornered on the subject of Buck’s clothes and his desire to wear them. Granted, he only had a shirt and sweatpants. He’d given the LAFD T-shirt back, and he kind of regretted it. Eddie wasn’t going to unpack that either.

He got a text from Buck when he arrived, so he went to open the door. His partner slipped in and put his work bag on the bench near the door beside Eddie’s.

“Are they asleep?”

“Yes, or at least pretending to until they think I’ve gone to bed,” Eddie said in amusement and locked the door. “Busy shift?”

“A few accidents and the fire,” Buck said and draped his jacket over the back of a chair. “How did you get roped into having all three kids?”

“I arranged it because…well. Christopher needed to get his mind off of his mom, who stresses him out and makes him miserable. I made the mistake of running her request to have dinner with us by him. I should’ve told her no without asking him. But I feel like he should get a choice, you know?”

“Choice is important,” Buck agreed. “But maybe it should go the other way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, one thing Maddie and I learned in therapy was that we require different kinds of choices. When I’m struggling, I like to be asked, and she likes to ask. So, maybe Christopher might like to ask instead. It’s worth a shot.”

“It is, yeah. Thanks.” Eddie motioned toward the kitchen. “I’m winding down on clean up. We had pizza. There’s some left if you’d like some.”

“Normally, I’d say no,” Buck admitted. “But I’m due a cheat meal, and I’d love some pizza.”

“My toaster can do convection; it’ll heat it up better than the microwave.”

“How was your night with three kids?”

“They’re good kids, so not bad,” Eddie said easily. “But I’m getting really sick and tired of watching the Jurassic Park movies.”

“Are they too young for that?” Buck questioned. “Because I think I’m too young to watch that guy get eaten whole. It kind of freaked me out.”

Eddie laughed. “Athena let them watch the original movies first, and the rest of us had to deal with the consequences. Regardless, they’ve rubbed the shine off dinosaurs for me.”

“I’ll warm my own pizza if you want to finish whatever you were doing,” Buck said. “Do the boys often end up having sleepovers?”

“We try to arrange it at least once a month. They go to different schools and are in different grades. Denny and Christopher are pretty close in age, but Harry’s two years older. We are kind of worried that he’ll age out of their friendship. He’ll be in high school when they’re both still in junior high.”

“It’ll boil down to trust and care,” Buck said as he pulled the pizza from the fridge. “Sometimes it’s hard to make friends in school that you can really trust and depend on. There will be a competitive edge to the relationships they have with boys in their respective schools. Sports, friendships, girls, boys—whatever they pursue will result in rivalries, hurt feelings, aggression, et cetera. So, friendships outside of that social system will probably be highly valuable to all three of them.”

“Do not talk about my baby pursuing girls or boys,” Eddie said sternly, and Buck laughed. “I mean it.”

“If the family looks hold out, he might need to use one of his crutches to keep people at bay,” Buck said in amusement, and Eddie huffed. “We could get him sword fighting lessons.”

Eddie laughed. “Shut up.”

He finished loading the dishwasher while Buck slid a few slices of pizza into the toaster.

“Juice? Water?”

“What kind of juice?”

“Apple, pear, and white grape—no added sugar in any of it.”

“Water would probably be best unless you have tea?”

“There are a few bottles of green tea in the fridge,” Eddie said. “Well, it’s green tea with ginger.”

“Perfect,” Buck said. “It’s not for Chris’ lunch?”

“He doesn’t like tea,” Eddie said. “Which is weird since we’re from Texas, and I told him so. He laughed at me.”

Shortly, they settled in at the table. Eddie plucked an orange from the bowl of fruit he had on the table and peeled it.

“Nothing too stressful at work?”

Buck made a face. “I can’t say I like working at the 122 all that much. The people are fine, but after working with Ray for a year, it’s a struggle to be in a station so laid back.” He shrugged. “It’s weird. Ray provides a lot of structure and discipline that I find comforting, especially after Chimney’s behavior.”

“I get it,” Eddie said quietly. “Anyone get stupid with you?”

“Yeah, of course, but that’s par for the course. Even at the 133, which is basically our sister station, I get a little grief here and there for shit that happened at the 118. Chimney used to work a lot of overtime with other stations, and he spread it around that he thinks I’m a slut. Nothing gets actually said, ya know? But if I say no to someone for a date or whatever, I get this disbelieving look like they can’t believe I’m turning them down.”

“Assholes,” Eddie muttered.

“Anyways, there’s this dude at the 122 that’s been working his ass off to get Ray’s attention. On the certification front, he’s certainly qualified for SAR, but his personality is frankly awful. I don’t know how his current team even tolerates him. He normally doesn’t do anything specifically offensive, so there’s nothing reportable, ya know? He’s just sour, fatalistic, and seems to have zero empathy.” Buck pushed his empty plate aside and took a drink of some tea. “He heard about your transfer into the 56.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah, and he was pissed that he hadn’t been interviewed for the spot on our team since he’s been trying to get into SAR for three years. He rarely even gets called in from the reserves because Ray’s avoidance of him makes others avoid him, too. It boils down to the fact that Ray doesn’t trust him, and that ebbs out. He doesn’t have to say a word.”

“I can see that,” Eddie said. “His competence and personal drive is compelling. If I’d interviewed with him when I left the academy, I’d have taken a job with him immediately. I let Bobby Nash romance me if I’m honest. He loves his station and his team. His nurturing personality made me feel safe in my choice. Everything was great for me until you left.”

“Did you resent me?” Buck asked curiously.

“I….” Eddie exhaled a little. “I wouldn’t say it was outright resentment. But when I realized why you’d left, I was a little pissed that you didn’t give me a head’s up. But I know that’s not fair. You had the right to take care of yourself.”

Buck nodded. “I regret the way I left. I honestly wish I’d made a big mess for Chimney, for your sake, if for no other reason. It’s just that I had developed the habit of leaving when a situation started to hurt. Leaving home taught me that removing the source of pain behind as quickly as I could was to my benefit.”

“Like emotional amputation,” Eddie said quietly, and Buck nodded. “It makes sense, but I don’t know if that’s healthy.”

“My therapist assured me that it’s not,” Buck said in amusement. “Because I wasn’t processing my trauma—I was just trying to throw it away, and that’s problematic, to say the least.”

“Did the guy get hostile with you about my transfer?”

“He asked me whose dick he had to suck to get a job in SAR,” Buck said, and Eddie huffed. “Right? At any rate, I feel the need to tell Ray about that, and I don’t want to.’

“You certainly need to because it’s not only rude but also it undermines the hiring and evaluation process that the captains of the SAR teams have in place,” Eddie said. “There’s no telling who else that asshole has said that to.”

“He’s still bitter about being looked over for promotion repeatedly,” Buck said. “His name is Sal Deluca. He and Bobby had some conflict that ended up with Sal getting suspended and transferred from the 118 to the 122. Deluca thought he was ready to be captain, and no one agreed. Frankly, he doesn’t have the people skills to lead, and it’s overtly obvious, in my opinion. I don’t know if he was always the way he is now, but the damage has been done.”

Eddie nodded. “Definitely tell Ray and let him decide how to address it.” He piled the orange peel on Buck’s empty plate and picked it up as he stood. “Ready for bed, or did you want to watch some TV?”

“Oh, I’m definitely ready for bed,” Buck said, and Eddie grinned.

“Go get whatever you need out of your bag, and I’ll be in there soon.”

“Sure.”

By the time Eddie made it to the bedroom, Buck was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. There was a small bag on the dresser. He kept something similar in his work bag for casual clothes and toiletries. Eddie locked the door and joined Buck in the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

“FEMA is offering a course on structural collapse next month,” Buck said as he used a washcloth to wash his face. “It’s a mix of civil engineering and the evaluation process for close-quarter rescue with an emphasis on urban environments. Sae’s taking it with me. Thomas already has it. Neither of us can actually do close-quarter work at our sizes, but being able to evaluate a situation and make a safe choice for myself and others is important to me.”

“How expensive is it?” Eddie questioned.

“It’s a ten-hour online course, and it’s free,” Buck said.

“Send me a link.”

“Sure,” Buck said and left the bathroom as he stretched.

Buck was seated on the bed with his phone in hand when Eddie finished up in the bathroom. He’d stripped down to his boxers. “Text link, or did you want me to send an email?”

“Text is fine,” Eddie said as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. His phone vibrated on the nightstand a few seconds later. “Tired?”

Buck looked up and set his phone aside. “Not that tired.”

Eddie laughed and shed the lounge pants he was wearing. Buck wet his lips and exhaled slowly.

“Always go commando?”

“At home, more often than not,” Eddie said and just let Buck pull him into his lap without any resistance. He settled on the man’s thick thighs with a pleased sound he couldn’t contain. “Do you think we’d be in this place right now if you’d stayed at the 118?”

“I don’t know,” Buck admitted. “Work was stressful so I was starting to avoid the whole team when I could. You’d have probably got lumped into that for good and bad. Then the thing with Maddie happened, and if I’d still been working at the 118 when Chimney basically stalked her for ignoring his phone calls…it would’ve gotten really ugly really fucking fast.” He trailed hands down Eddie’s sides. “You’re gorgeous, though, so maybe you’d have tempted me beyond reason.”

Eddie wondered what kind of emotional place he’d have been in when Shannon came back into his life if he’d had Buck as part of his support system. As it was, when she’d reappeared, she’d just be another source of stress and hurt. He couldn’t see past it at all to forgive her in any single way. Even letting her see Christopher had taken the threat of a lawsuit, and he still regretted giving in to that. It had only gotten worse when he’d filed for divorce, and she’d come face to face with the legal and financial responsibilities of the child she’d abandoned.

“You know,” Buck murmured. “Normally, when I’ve got someone naked in my lap…they aren’t thinking about anything but me.”

Eddie hummed under his breath. “Maybe you need to work for my full attention.”

Buck quirked an eyebrow and cupped Eddie’s ass with both hands. “Is that so?”

“I said maybe,” Eddie reminded and couldn’t help but groan against Buck’s mouth as the man pulled him closer. “What did you have in mind?”

“What’s…on the table?” Buck questioned. “I mean, with the kids in the house?”

“Parents do have sex with their kids in the house, you know,” Eddie said in amusement. “Otherwise, there would probably be a lot of households with one kid.”

“Yeah, I get that…I just….” Buck shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to get it wrong with you on any front. Making sure Christopher is comfortable with me in this house is part of that. Also, I dated a woman once with a kid, and we were sitting down at breakfast one morning when the boy asked his mom why I was hurting her at night.”

“Oh my God,” Eddie muttered, and Buck laughed. “I might die of secondhand embarrassment. Or would that be thirdhand since I didn’t witness it?”

“Probably so,” Buck said in amusement. “Regardless, I don’t think the kid ever really believed her that I wasn’t hurting her, and she broke up with me a few weeks later.”

“We’ll just be quiet,” Eddie said and kissed him. “They’re on the opposite side of the house as well. I chose this house because the main bedroom was the closest to the front door. It’s always my intention to be the first line of defense my kid has.”

“I get it.” Buck urged him closer, scooted to the end of the bed, and guided Eddie’s legs around his waist as he stood.

“Show off,” Eddie murmured as Buck turned and put him on the bed.

“I just didn’t want to let go of you,” Buck said softly against Eddie’s shoulder.

Then Buck slid down and took his cock into his mouth before Eddie could respond. Eddie spread his legs with a hitched breath and curled his fingers into Buck’s short hair. He couldn’t really remember the last time he’d had a partner who enjoyed oral sex as much as Buck apparently did. As if the man had read his mind, Buck lifted away and said something Eddie wasn’t expecting at all.

“Turn over. I want to eat you out.”

“Oh.” Eddie exhaled a little. “What? Really?”

Buck ran his hands down the sides of Eddie’s thighs and wet his lips. “You did say I could have you any way I wanted you.”

“I did,” Eddie said weakly and rolled to his knees with flushed cheeks. “I’ve just never…had anyone do that before.”

“Is it turning you off?”

“No.”

Buck laughed. “Get the lube and a condom.”

Eddie snagged the supplies from the bedside table and dropped them on the mattress then reached out for a pillow because he was genuinely worried, now, about making too much noise. He buried his face in the pillow as Buck ran one hand down the length of his back. He loved his partner’s hands. They were big, warm, and so competent that it was difficult to watch him do anything sometimes without getting worked up.

It was only going to be worse going forward, Eddie thought, as Buck cupped his ass and spread him open. A hot, wet tongue met his skin, and he all but melted against the mattress. Buck laughed a little, caught his hips in a firm grip, and proceeded to work his tongue boldly into Eddie’s ass like it was something they did every damn day.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie muttered against the pillow and rocked back into the intense penetrative sensation that was drifting between simple pressure and pleasure.

He couldn’t say how much time passed before slick fingers were pressing into his hole, but it was overwhelming, and he almost came. Eddie shuddered and swallowed back a groan as Buck worked him open deftly. The man had to be terrible at something, but Eddie wasn’t all that interested in finding out what it was.

The blunt head of Buck’s cock against his asshole made Eddie shudder with want. He pressed back against his lover, and Buck groaned softly as they came together. The hard press of a cock into his body was everything he wanted in that moment. They moved together eagerly, and Eddie reached out to brace one hand against the headboard to create leverage for himself.

“You feel perfect,” Buck said hoarsely, his hands clenched on Eddie’s hips. “I’m not going to last.”

“I’m with you,” Eddie admitted with a low groan. “Fuck.” He buried his face in the pillow, and Buck just held him tighter.

The hot grind of their bodies together was so intense that his vision blurred. Eddie closed his eyes, reached out blindly, and pulled the flat sheet under him. He came between one thrust and the next. Buck’s fingers slipped against sweat-dampened skin, and he stilled with a soft, gasping groan.

Eddie took a deep breath and barely managed to keep from collapsing in the mess he’d made when Buck carefully pulled from his body. He shoved the sheet onto the floor and laid down as Buck left the bed.

“You okay?”

“It’s probably criminal how good you are in bed,” Eddie said and glanced toward Buck as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Seriously.”

Buck laughed. “Let’s take a shower.”

“You wore me out,” Eddie muttered.

“I guess I’ll have to do all the work in the shower, too,” Buck said wryly, and Eddie allowed himself to be pulled from the bed.

Chapter 13

“Buck!”

Buck caught Harry Grant in a side hug as the kid appeared at his side. “Hey, kiddo.” He started flipping the pancakes with his free hand. “How are you?”

“Great,” Harry said. “Christopher told us he’d seen you. Denny was bummed since he hadn’t seen you in forever. It’s awesome you’re here.” The kid leaned on him and yawned. “I wish you’d been here before we went to sleep. We watched old movies.”

“I heard all about your Jurassic Park marathon,” Buck said in amusement. “You guys need to give Eddie a break on that. Maybe next time you should watch the mummy movies.”

“A mummy?” Christopher asked as he appeared on Buck’s right. “There’s a movie about a mummy? Like from Egypt?”

“Yeah, there are three movies in the series I’m thinking of, but I don’t recommend the third one,” Buck said. “Ask your dad if you can watch the Brendan Fraser mummy movies. He’ll know what to look for.”

“Great,” Christopher said and yawned. “I smell bacon, but I don’t see it.”

“It’s in the oven,” Buck said in amusement. “You guys can set the table unless you want to go back to bed.”

“Bacon woke us up,” Harry said. “We’re starving. Denny’s still snoring, though. We need to remind him to take his allergy medication when he wakes up.”

“Well, wake him up so he can brush his teeth and get ready for the day. We’re going to the zoo. Definitely make sure he takes his allergy medication.”

“Cool!” Harry exclaimed and darted off.

“Really?” Christopher questioned. “I love the zoo.”

“Yeah, your dad said you did,” Buck said and looked at the boy and found him frowning. “What’s up?”

“I just….” He huffed and shook his head.

Buck pulled the last pancake out of the pan and removed it from the heat. Then he took a knee so he wasn’t looming over Christopher. “We’re just getting to know each other, but I hope you know that you can tell me anything you’re thinking.”

Christopher stared for a moment and nodded. “That feels true.” He looked around then and leaned in close as he whispered in Buck’s ear, “I kind of wanted it to be just us for the zoo.”

“Ah,” Buck said and considered that. “Well, the best part about the zoo is that we can go as often as we’d like. Next month, they’re hosting a big charity event for conservation in the Congo, and they’re introducing the baby gorilla that was born a few weeks ago. She’s their first baby in the new program, and they’re going to announce her name. The zoo website is holding a vote on baby names right now. I voted this morning. You can vote on your dad’s phone.”

“That sounds great,” Christopher said. “We can go to that? Just us?”

“It’s a deal, Superman,” Buck said and tapped gently against the boy’s chest. “Great shirt. I have one just like it.”

Christopher laughed. “It’s new. My other one is getting too short. Superman is my favorite superhero.”

“Well, you made an excellent choice,” Buck said and stood.

“Harry probably needs my help getting Denny up. He hates mornings,” Christopher said happily and left him.

Buck pulled the skillet back into place and checked what was left of the batter. Eddie came to stand with him. “Hey.”

“Thank you.”

“For?” Buck questioned.

“You were great with him,” Eddie said. “Not everyone is, for one reason or another. They either have unrealistic expectations or try to coddle him like he’s an infant. My own parents struggle to believe he’s even allowed to have opinions contrary to their own.”

“It’s a good thing we already established that your parents are a bag of dicks,” Buck muttered and huffed when Eddie laughed. “And the truth is, Christopher is the very best part of your whole deal.” He glanced toward his partner and found Eddie looking at him with a soft smile. “What?”

“I love you.”

Buck blinked in surprise. “I….”

“I know it’s too soon,” Eddie said and nudged him. “It’s fine if you aren’t there yet. I don’t even know how I got here myself, but I mean it.”

“Buck!” Denny darted into the kitchen at that point, and he was grateful for the distraction.

“Hey there,” Buck said as Denny came in for a hug, and Eddie moved away. “How are you?”

“Good. I’ll be more awake after I eat,” Denny said and yawned against Buck’s T-shirt. “Are we really going to the zoo? My moms hate it, so I haven’t been in like two years.”

“We’re definitely going to the zoo. You guys should get the iPad and start figuring out what our route will be—check feeding times so we get to see all the animals you want to see,” Buck said, and Denny ran off to accomplish that. “I feel like an asshole.”

“For what?” Eddie asked, clearly confused.

“Well, when I cut off the adults—I cut off their kids, too. That must have hurt them. It clearly impacted Chris, and he’d only seen me a couple of times. Harry and Denny spent much more time with me. I was invited to their school stuff and even chaperoned school trips for Harry twice because Athena couldn’t take time off.”

“Chris told us you had to take care of yourself and protect your feelings,” Harry said earnestly, and Buck found all three boys standing by the table. “That’s important, Buck.”

“Yeah,” Denny said and put the iPad down on the table. “Let’s set the table then we can start our plan of attack.”

Chris offered Buck a smile before he started to move a few things off the table.

* * * *

Three kids, plus Buck and the zoo, had left Eddie borderline exhausted, but he wasn’t going to admit that for love or money. The kids had been great, and no one had gotten bent out of shape due to the heat or the crowd. Lunch had given them a second wind, Buck included, and Eddie was considering calling for help when no one was looking. He’d all but dragged himself into the big cat building and sat down on a bench near the back of the observation room as the boys got as close as they could to watch a feeding.

He pulled up the group chat on his phone.

Eddie: Buck’s a bad influence. He actually downloaded the feeding schedule so we’re about to watch the tigers eat the better part of a COW.

Karen: lmao

Eddie: Seriously! I don’t think he’s pretty enough to make up for this.

Athena: Yes, he is.

Hen: We want pictures!

Okay, maybe he was. Buck was at the window with the kids, taking pictures. Denny moved away a bit, and Buck caught the boy’s attention and brought him back into the fold, so to speak. Keeping track of three kids was no easy feat, but his lover clearly took it seriously. He appreciated that about the man.

Eddie sent a bunch of pictures to the group chat and closed it so he could focus on keeping track of everyone.

There was a large group of women and children also sort of on the same path as they were on. It was a mom group. Eddie avoided groups just like them as much as he could since he’d actually been invited to join several since coming to LA.

One of the women moved closer to Buck and the boys, and he only briefly considered rescuing his partner from the impending scenario. He figured Buck could handle himself, and there was some amusement to be had. She looked as much like a predator as the tiger currently tearing a side of beef to pieces in the habitat. He huffed a little when she smiled at Buck and put her hand on his arm.

Eddie stretched out his legs, leaned on the wall, and just quirked an eyebrow at her when she looked in his direction. She flushed and dropped her hand with a sour expression, then walked away. Buck shook his head and shifted slightly so he could create a buffer between Christopher and a pair of rowdy little boys who were trying to get closer to the glass. He was certainly a big enough obstacle, Eddie mused.

His phone buzzed in his hand, and he checked his texts.

Athena: Do you think you could talk Buck into coming to dinner? We could grill out.

Eddie: I’ll ask. But I won’t pressure him. I don’t think it would be good for him and Bobby.

Athena: No, agreed. I’d just really like to see him. I can corner him for lunch next week if he says no.

“Eddie.”

He looked up and found a guy he’d had a single date with a few months before. Eddie stood and tucked his phone away.

“Jake, it’s good to see you.”

It really wasn’t. Eddie didn’t understand anyone who hated kids. He accepted the man’s hand and pulled away quickly when the guy tried to keep his hand a little longer than necessary.

“You look great,” Jake said with a warm, inviting smile, then moved a little closer.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Eddie admitted. “A zoo is a kid magnet.”

Jake made a face. “Yeah, my sister talked me into coming with her and my nephews.” He motioned toward the pair of boys still tussling by the observation window. “They’re a lot.” He moved closer. “I’m glad to see you. Busy tonight?”

“I’m seeing someone now,” Eddie said and glanced toward Buck, who’d picked up Christopher. “It’s serious.”

Jake’s eyes widened a little. “Him? Seriously?”

“Is that a problem?” Eddie questioned with a frown.

“I mean, yeah,” Jake said with a laugh. “I was considering asking him for his number until my sister’s friend came back and reported he was in a relationship. Then I saw you sitting over here. I guess I should’ve stuck around over there to hear the rest of what she was saying.” He waved a hand around the room. “Which one of these brats is yours?”

Eddie frowned. “Seriously? Fuck off.”

Jake laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I get it. Single parents are the worst.”

Denny appeared at his side at that point. “Eddie, hey. Christopher said I should come rescue you from this guy.”

Eddie laughed and cupped the kid’s shoulder. “I’m fine. But we can go if you guys are ready.”

“Sure, we can go. I want to go to the reptile house, but Harry says he doesn’t want to look at snakes. Weird, right?”

“Weirdest thing I’ve ever heard,” Eddie said and guided him away from Jake, who just huffed a little. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I know what it’s like to have pretty parents. It’s a real hassle,” Denny said. “Dudes are always trying to get their numbers. Which is ridiculous because they are clearly living their best lesbian life.”

“Gawd, where did you get three kids?” Jake questioned in shock as Buck brought Harry and Christopher back his way. “One wasn’t enough? You had to borrow kids from other people?”

Eddie rolled his eyes and focused on Buck. “Hey, if we’re going to look at snakes—can we fill our water flasks first? I’m running on empty.”

“Sure,” Buck said. “I could use a refill, too.”

“Let me carry you, Mijo. It’s crowded in here.”

Christopher nodded and sent Jake a dark look as Eddie picked him up. “Is that the weirdo guy that you went out to coffee with that hates kids? I thought we agreed he’s toxic and that you shouldn’t talk to him anymore, Daddy?”

Buck laughed as Jake’s mouth dropped open. “Come on, I’m definitely having a cheat day and eating a lot of junk. Let’s find some ice cream.”

Shortly, they were sitting at a picnic table eating ice cream, and Eddie let himself relax.

“At least he’s attractive,” Buck said wryly, and Denny laughed.

“Yeah, but he’s ugly on the inside,” Christopher muttered.

“You sure do got a type though, Eddie,” Harry said earnestly.

Eddie huffed because Jake was blond, blue-eyed, and over six feet. Buck was certainly better looking and fitter, though. Plus, he wasn’t a tool who hated kids. “I just got briefly led astray by a pretty face. It’s a habit of mine.”

“Lucky me,” Buck said cheerfully, and all three boys started laughing.

* * * *

“I don’t know how they have any energy left,” Eddie muttered as he let his head rest on the picnic table. “He’s the biggest kid of them all, you know.”

Athena laughed because Buck was kicking a soccer ball around with Harry. Christopher was sprawled on a lounge chair napping, and Eddie kind of wished it was appropriate for him to nap at someone else’s house, too. He wondered when he reached an age where he couldn’t do that without getting talked about.

“The pictures you shared were great,” Athena said. “Chin up. They clearly had a great time. You probably earned a lot of parent points today, plus it’s obvious that Christopher and Buck are getting along like a house on fire.”

“He’s great with him,” Eddie murmured. “Not exactly the kind of experience I normally have. The woman I dated after the divorce tried too hard, and the guy after her had all these weird expectations about his role in my life. He also presumed some authority over Christopher far too quickly. The next guy, just a coffee date, hated kids.”

“Good Lord,” Athena muttered. “I guess you deserve a break on that front. I think you probably got it made with Buck as long as your parents don’t blow into town and run him off.”

“I can’t even say how I’d respond to that, as I need deniability,” Eddie muttered darkly, and Athena grinned. He focused on Buck, who was bouncing a soccer ball on his knee. “He’s very at ease with himself these days.”

“Competence is compelling,” Athena acknowledged. “It’s always better to have a partner in your life who is honest and content in their own skin.”

Eddie barely refrained from asking her about her ex-husband. He tried really hard not to pay too much attention to the rumors regarding her divorce and all the stuff that came with it. That her husband had come out of the closet shortly after they separated had been startling, but apparently, some had seen it coming.

Bobby came out of the house at that point with a platter of meat and headed for the grill. Eddie calculated the odds of his being needed and wondered if he could just avoid looking at the man. He side-eyed Athena and found her studiously staring at her thumbnail.

“You are so transparent,” Eddie muttered and stood. He trotted across the yard as she shrugged. “Hey, Bobby, need help?”

Bobby shot him a knowing look. “You know I don’t let anyone touch my grill but me.” He paused. “Well, I let Michael use it sometimes.”

“Is that weird?”

“No.”

“No?” Eddie questioned.

Bobby shrugged. “A gay ex-husband is no sort of threat.”

Eddie laughed. “Shut up.” He crossed his arms and glanced toward his son, who was still sprawled across the lounger, snoozing in the shade. “I miss naps.”

“Me, too,” Bobby muttered. “The last time I tried to get one in, I got judged so hard.” He glanced toward his wife, and Eddie laughed. “It’s no picnic living with a cop, Eddie.”

“Well, I’m sure there are some perks,” Eddie said. “She’s got handcuffs, right?”

Athena huffed loudly. “Watch it, Edmundo.” She stood and stalked toward the house. “I’m going to curse Hen out.”

Eddie exchanged a look with Bobby, who looked as confused as he felt. “Are you going to ask Hen about that?”

“No.”

He huffed. “Whatever. You’re not fun at all, Bobby.”

* * * *

“So….” Buck glanced between Athena and Bobby. “What’s the terrible thing you want to tell us?” Beside him, Eddie sighed. “Come on, Eds, you know they have something terrible to say.”

“Granted,” Eddie said and slouched in the chair. “So, lay it on us.”

Athena frowned when Bobby glanced her way.

Bobby groaned and slouched down like he’d be told he was grounded. “Chimney filed a lawsuit against the LAFD for unlawful termination. I have no idea how things are going to go on that front. The 9-1-1 call might end up in the lawsuit. He was pulled over for reckless driving, but the call itself is public record.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’m not going to regret making that call, no matter who finds out. He was risking people’s lives and needed to be contained.”

“Does he have a leg to stand on?” Buck asked in confusion. “He’s going to get a DUI conviction, right? There’s no single way he can get away with the fact that he was twice the legal limit and driving recklessly.”

“Granted,” Bobby said. “He’s not rational, and I don’t know how he got a lawyer to even go along with it.”

“Some lawyers will try anything to get paid,” Athena said. “And the one in question has a history of suing the city. Chase Mackey has a reputation and a grudge. No one knows the origin. Regardless, he’ll be convicted, and he could spend up to two years in jail. There is no mitigating circumstance that could excuse his behavior, and he has to know it.”

“Then the only thing he has left to sue on the off chance he might get a settlement to avoid a trial process,” Buck said.

Eddie glanced toward the back of the house when he heard a little burst of giggles. Harry and Christopher were in the den playing a game. “I don’t know how they’re still going.” His son had only ended up having a thirty-minute nap so that certainly hadn’t been any sort of boost in the energy department.

Buck started to say something, but his phone started playing the station bell. He stood and pulled it free from his jeans.

“Buckley.” He shared a glance with Eddie as he left the table.

Eddie watched his partner listen intently, check his watch, and give an estimate of thirty minutes then ended the call.

“Sorry,” Buck said as he pocketed his phone. “I need to go.”

Eddie pulled out his keys. “Let’s just trade keys. I’ll beg a ride home from one of these two.”

Buck nodded and pulled out his own keys. “Thanks.”

“What’s going on?” Eddie questioned a mixture of relieved and bummed that he wasn’t being called in with his partner.

“Martin Beckham’s wife went into labor, and he needs to be replaced for the night. I’ll join the ground team for the rest of the shift and be the man behind,” Buck said. “We have a rotation for this kind of overtime. You should talk to Tilda about it during our next shift. We get dibs on short overtime hours like this.”

“I will,” Eddie said as he accepted Buck’s keys. “Be safe.”

“Yeah, of course,” Buck said and trotted off toward the den.

Eddie had barely sat down before Buck was hurrying back through the house, saying goodbye as he left. He sat down. “Maybe I needed more rest before resuming regular stuff because I’m exhausted.”

“Well, you did get tossed around in a helicopter,” Athena said sourly. “And thrown against a tree.”

“I thought…. Well, you know what I thought.” They both nodded. “So, I wanted to ask something of you.” He focused on Athena. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I already have a will in place to protect him from my parents. I’m hoping to make different decisions in the future, but for now, Christopher will go to my Tía Pepa if I die. I’d like to name you my executor, Athena. Currently, my grandmother is, but she’s seventy years old and doesn’t deserve the stress my parents would put on her.” He paused. “Not that you do.” She laughed. “But my mom’s afraid of you, and I consider that an immense bonus.”

Athena nodded. “Of course, Eddie. Whatever you need.” She shared a glance with Bobby, who only nodded. “And, of course, if you’re comfortable, we’d like to be included in a list of potential guardians if your aunt can’t take him. I know that Hen and Karen have also told you this.”

“They have,” Eddie said and relaxed. “Christopher thinks Buck’s prime parent material.”

Bobby grinned. “I agree. He’s great with kids, endlessly patient, and very empathetic. From the start, he was my go-to choice for working with kids on difficult scenes. They trust him practically from the moment they set eyes on him, and fortunately for them, that trust is never misplaced.”

* * * *

Buck closed the laptop he’d be working on and stretched his legs as he set the computer on the coffee table in front of him. The sofa was very comfortable, but he didn’t want to get so still that he’d fall asleep. He stood and rubbed his face. He’d spent the day distracting himself so he didn’t have to think about what Eddie had said to him.

He felt like he’d totally dropped the ball, and that was a little nerve-wracking as he didn’t make a habit of stumbling like that in intimate relationships. Buck was all-in on the relationship with Eddie. He saw so much potential for a family with Eddie and Christopher. He adored them both, and the feelings weren’t new. Meeting Eddie’s son was one of the best experiences he had near the end of his time at the 118. And the synergy that existed in his partnership with Eddie was evident both on and off the job.

“What’s up with you?”

Buck looked up and found Cohn McBride standing in front of him. “Me? What’s up with you? Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“I came in to get a workout,” Cohn said easily and stretched. “You look out of sorts.”

“I’m just trying to adjust mentally to a few things,” Buck said easily as he picked up the laptop. “I got pulled in because Julie went into labor. I’m sure Martin is a nervous wreck. The last time we talked, he was on a Google spiral about childbirth and mortality rates. I don’t think it occurred to him that a woman risks her life to get pregnant until he started researching the whole thing. He fixated so much that she took his iPad away from him.”

“I heard,” Cohn said with a laugh and checked his watch. “I’ll call him and see if he needs anything brought to him.”

“Or maybe you should call her and ask her if someone needs to go down there and corral her husband since Jake is on duty,” Buck muttered, and Cohn laughed. “She might need him tied down and gagged just to get some peace.”

“He’s probably running around like an idiot and trying to practice all that new age shit he saw on YouTube about having a peaceful birth,” Cohn said, and Buck groaned. “Yeah, I’ll text her and let her know I’m available to rescue her from his dumbass if needed.” He inclined his head. “But what’s up with you.”

“Just…stuff,” Buck said with a shrug and headed for the kitchen. He figured he could prep a meal for the crew since they were all out on a call.

“Stuff?” Cohn questioned as he followed. “Do you know what kind of call they’re on?”

“The ground crew are working a big accident with entrapment,” Buck said. “The aircrew is on the way back from a call.”

“Want some help?”

“Sure,” Buck said. “I was thinking about making some egg muffins.”

“Sounds good. I’ll chop the veg,” Cohn said and headed for the sink to wash his hands. “And you can tell me about your stuff.”

Buck huffed a little and pulled out several cartons of eggs. “Whatever, Cohn. Don’t you have a girlfriend to pester?”

“Nah, she’s on a business trip,” Cohn said easily. “Wanna tell me about you and Diaz.”

“He doesn’t like to be called by his last name,” Buck said, and Cohn nodded. “I think it probably reminds him of his military service, and we’re good.”

“Good or good?” Cohn asked and grinned when Buck sighed. “Seriously.”

“Good and fantastic,” Buck said, and his friend laughed. “I’m crazy about him and his kid. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

“Cute kid?”

“He’s adorable but also smart and sweet,” Buck said. “I think I might have got baby-trapped upon reflection.”

Cohn laughed. “Happened to the best of us. I consider Kylie the best part of my whole deal. I can’t believe Dana’s ex just bailed on them both the way he did. If things go well, I’m going to ask them both if adoption is on the table. That asshole is still refusing to pay child support. He keeps switching jobs, so the court can’t keep track of him and garnish his wages. I told her I’d pay for a lawyer to sue him in civil court.”

“What a bastard,” Buck muttered. “I don’t get men like that—you make a kid, you support that kid. Simple as that.” He waved a hand. “If you can’t do that, then you’ve got no business sticking your dick in a person that can get pregnant.”

“Agreed,” Cohn said. “Anyways, I hope to seal the whole deal.”

“Good, they deserve better than they got from Dana’s ex,” Buck said. “I’ve always been extra careful when I’ve dated single parents.” He yawned.

“How long have you been moving?” Cohn questioned.

“Eh. I got up around seven this morning, and we took three kids to the zoo. The best part was watching the tigers eat. It was epically gross but also very entertaining. The last thing we did was watch a little presentation on conservation in the Congo, and we got the see the gorillas. We’re going to go back to see the new baby.”

“Kylie and I voted on the baby name last week,” Cohn said. “We’re all in on Matilda.”

“Oh, I voted for Matilda, too,” Buck confessed. “The pictures are adorable. I did have a thing. I could use a different perspective.”

“Sure.”

“So, Christopher had a sleepover, and there were two other kids on the zoo trip. The thing is that he kind of just wanted it to be with me and his Dad. He clearly had a good time with the other kids. I told him we could do another trip with just the three of us, and he was happy with that. Eddie seemed to think I did well in the conversation. Was it okay to give in to his request?”

“Yeah, of course,” Cohn assured. “Wanting your individual attention is a pretty good sign. He clearly likes you a lot. Of course, that ups the stakes in the whole thing. Because if you fuck up—you won’t just be disappointing Eddie.”

“I work hard to not fuck up these days,” Buck said in his own defense. “And I’ve never been an asshole in my personal relationships. I pride myself on being really honest with people when it comes to intimate relationships.”

“I know, Buck,” Cohn assured. “If I had a sibling, I’d be totally okay with you dating them.”

Buck grinned. “High praise.”

* * * *

Eddie had put his very huffy child to bed, more amused than he really wanted to admit. Christopher had clearly been put out by Buck’s quick exit from the barbeque but had also been pleased that he’d taken the time to say goodbye to him personally. He meandered through the house, checking windows and locks before he settled on the couch with his phone. There were no texts from Buck, which was kind of disappointing, but he had no idea what he was dealing with at work.

Of course, the downtime was giving him time to think about the fact that he’d blurted his feelings out to Buck without consideration. Buck hadn’t reacted badly, but he’d clearly been surprised and at a loss for words. He couldn’t really pinpoint the moment when he’d tipped over into love, but he was certain of it. Maybe he’d started down the path when he’d first met Buck because he’d missed the man a lot and had been seriously bummed by his transfer.

His phone vibrated gently in his hand.

Buck: I rerolled hoses and prepped a meal. I’m considering working out to keep my body awake. Both units have come and gone twice since I started. The baby came. Mom and baby are fine. Cohn reports that Martin is a hot mess. A girl by the way. They named her Addison.

Eddie: You’ll get off at 8 in the morning right?

Buck: Yeah normal shift. What are your plans for Sunday?

Eddie: Just prep for Monday. You?

Buck: I’m going to pick up some supplies after I sleep and do some drywall work in my future theater room. Did you want to come over for dinner?

Eddie: Sounds great. We’ll be over around 4 then? I have to check Christopher’s folder to make sure he’s done all of his homework and that he has clothes for school all week.

Buck: Sounds good. Can I call?

Eddie: Yeah of course

He answered the call immediately.

“Hey,” Eddie murmured. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Buck said. “I just wanted to have a real conversation versus a text thing. We didn’t have any time alone today after the kids woke up.”

“Yeah, it was a busy day, but I think they all had a great time.” Eddie lay down on the couch. “I hope you aren’t overtired.”

“I’m fine. I’m tired but okay to handle things,” Buck said. “If I’m worried about driving, I’ll just bunk down for a few hours here after the shift.”

“Good.” Eddie pressed his toes against the arm of the couch and tensed up his leg muscles. “I’m a little sore.”

“You were on your feet for a long time today,” Buck said. “But you did well on our shift. A good night’s sleep will probably be enough to put you back in the right place on the stamina front.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Something bothering you?”

“I….” Buck trailed off. “Did I fuck up this morning? Because you caught me off guard, and I feel like I did fuck up, and it’s got me a little stressed out.”

“You didn’t fuck up,” Eddie assured him. “Did I? Because I didn’t mean to say it. I meant it, but it was too soon.”

“You didn’t fuck up,” Buck said and exhaled loudly. “It’s just you’re the first person to say that to me in a very long time. I mean, except for my sister, who emotes all over me at every single opportunity. I think—yeah, it was my high school girlfriend, and she dumped me the day after prom because I didn’t apply to the same university that she did.”

Eddie didn’t know what to even say to that, but he knew silence wasn’t an option. “The first time someone told me they loved me, outside of family, it was in high school. He blurted it all in the middle of admitting he was gay while he stood on my parent’s front porch.”

“How did you respond?” Buck questioned.

“Oh, well, I kissed him,” Eddie easily, and Buck laughed. “The poor guy was about to shake out of his skin. But he was sweet and kind as well. We’re still friends even now. He recently got married.” He yawned. “I didn’t get to attend, but the pictures on Instagram were beautiful.”

“What about your ex-wife?”

“She’s an asshole,” Eddie said roughly, and Buck laughed. “No, I mean, she really is. She left me and ignored me for three years. Then, when she came back into the picture, Shannon wanted to act like nothing was wrong, and she hadn’t made any mistakes. So, she didn’t apologize to either of us and got furious with me when I refused to take her back in any fashion. She tried to sleep with me while she was also telling me that she wasn’t ready to be a mother again.”

“Ugh, what a gross thing to try to do. I can’t believe she left the two of you. Even if your marriage wasn’t working—abandoning her own kid is unforgivable.”

“I agree,” Eddie admitted. “I haven’t run you off, have I?”

“Nah, I’m all in,” Buck assured. “I just need…I’ve never said it to anyone but my sister. Which I know sounds pathetic.”

“No,” Eddie murmured. “It’s not pathetic at all. Listen, we have all the time you need to figure out how you feel. I’m the patient sort.”

“Good.” Buck huffed a little. “I don’t want to mess this up, Eds.”

“You won’t,” Eddie said. “I trust you.”

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