The Best Kind of Love

Eddie broke the surface of the retention pond with one thought. He had to protect Christopher from his parents. He crawled up the embankment, focused on the lights of emergency vehicles. It was heartening that they were searching for him, and it made him proud to be a part of the LAFD. Another near-death experience had left him heartsick and furious with himself.

He hadn’t made any plans for Christopher after Shannon’s death. It made him feel like the worst sort of failure as a man and father. There were many mistakes lingering in his past when it came to his marriage and his journey as a parent. Eddie had invested himself in parenthood after he’d been discharged from the Army to make up for the years he hadn’t been there for his son, as much as he’d wanted.

He stood and took a deep breath, then stumbled forward. He’d rarely been so fucking exhausted in his entire life. Eddie’s mind was racing with options—ways to be a good father to his boy even if he died. An updated will and more life insurance were certainly going to happen, but his parents would fight a will tooth and nail to gain control of Christopher. They wouldn’t care what anyone wanted.

He needed someone that loved his son like he did. Someone who wouldn’t back down from a fight and wasn’t intimidated by his parents or their money. That equaled only one person in his life and that was Evan Buckley. Buck was the best friend he’d ever had in his life. His loyalty, after so many years, had never been in question, even when Eddie had made things difficult. Moreover, Christopher adored Buck.

Eddie focused on Bobby’s voice, but he was having a hard time keeping track of what the man was saying. They were going to look for his body heat. That was going to be difficult since he felt like an ice cube. Buck was warm, though. Eddie was looking forward to just throwing himself at his friend the first chance he got.

“…thermal imaging to pick up Diaz’s heat signature.” Not Bobby, but he sounded like he was in charge.

“Gonna be hard. I’m pretty cold,” he announced because that seemed important, and people started to turn toward him. Hands reached out for him, and Eddie briefly leaned into the support before starting forward.

“Eddie?” Bobby called out.

“Yeah,” he said and stumbled toward his captain. Buck would be with Bobby. The crowd of hands guided him right toward the members of the 118. “Buck? Where’s Buck?”

“I’m here.” Buck was suddenly right in front of him, and he caught Eddie up in a tight hug. “I got you.”

Eddie clenched one hand into Buck’s shirt and took a deep breath. “I need you to marry me.”

“What?” Buck questioned, and everyone around them stopped moving.

“Marry me,” Eddie said firmly and hoped it didn’t sound like an order. Though, it kind of was. He needed Buck to marry him and adopt his baby so his evil parents couldn’t ruin Christopher’s life if he died.

Something complicated passed over Buck’s face as he stared at him. Then he nodded. “Okay.”

Eddie frowned. “Just okay?”

“Don’t throw shade, dude. You don’t even have a ring,” Buck said huffily as he started to guide Eddie away from a crowd of people who were smiling, laughing, and clapping.

He stumbled a little, but Buck held him up, and Hen suddenly put his free arm over her shoulder. “Hen, did you hear? Buck agreed to marry me. You need to make sure he doesn’t take it back.”

Hen laughed. “I got your back, Eddie.”

They tried to walk him toward an ambulance, and he huffed.

“No, the ladder.”

“You need an ambulance and a hospital,” Hen protested.

“No, I just want to get cleaned up and go home to Christopher,” Eddie said, and Buck’s arm tightened around him then he turned them toward the ladder.

“Buck, he needs….” Hen trailed off as Eddie tried to pull away from her. “Okay, but you’re getting a full exam!”

“I barely let my doctor do a full exam,” Eddie muttered, and they both laughed.

Buck basically put him on the ladder truck instead of letting him climb up on his own, but he was too tired to care. He slumped against Buck as soon as the man sat down with him and shivered as a blanket was tucked around him by a very silent Bobby Nash.

Hen shined a light in his eyes. “You with us, buddy?”

Eddie nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

“You’re a mess,” Buck muttered but held him tight to his side and rubbed his shoulder.

He’d never felt so safe or grounded in his life, but he wasn’t going to dissect that on a bet. They moved him around, and Hen took his vitals as the truck started moving. Bobby had gotten in the front seat, and Chim was just staring at them with a dumb look on his face. Eddie wasn’t in the mood for any bullshit, so he hoped the man kept his mouth shut.

As if activated by the attention, Chimney made a face at them and blurted out, “You guys aren’t even dating!”

“Mind your own business,” Eddie retorted even as Buck stiffened against him, and Hen laughed a little as she took his blood pressure. He glared when Chim started to speak. “I mean it, Chim.”

Chim sat back with a pout, and Eddie just turned toward Buck because he didn’t care if that asshole was pissed at him. He’d almost died again, and Chim should’ve understood the trauma of that, yet it was clear that he didn’t. Maybe he was just too self-involved to have a single bit of empathy for another person, no matter the fact that he expected everyone to pander to him and his past.

He lost track of time, so it was startling when they pulled into the station house. Buck got him out of the ladder truck and took him to the locker room. Bobby came with them, and Eddie let them undress him without complaint. He was so fucking cold that he could barely think. They moved him into a warm shower, and Buck stripped down to his boxers to step in with him.

Once he stopped shaking, Buck turned the hot water up and Eddie turned his face into spray.

“How’s your breathing?” Bobby questioned from just outside of the stall.

“Fine,” Eddie said and cleared his throat. “It’s hard to concentrate.”

“You have to be very tired,” Buck murmured as he started washing Eddie’s back.

Eddie nodded and braced one hand against the wall. “Head hurts.”

“You can have something after we get you dressed if you want,” Buck said. “Did you hit your head? Get pinned anywhere at any point?”

“No,” Eddie denied. “I ran out of air, and I was under water.” He took a deep, shuddery breath. “Things got hazy, and I started thinking about Christopher. I pushed through and found the surface of the retention pond.”

“I’ll get you some clothes from your locker,” Bobby said. “Since your…recovery was broadcast live on the news, Eddie, the chief has certainly already heard about your marriage proposal.” He laughed a little. “If you can call ordering someone to marry you a proposal.”

Eddie huffed.

“Should I tell him it’s none of his business as well?” Bobby continued in an amused tone.

“Yes,” Buck said firmly. “It’s not against the rules, and we’ll file the proper paperwork. The rest is personal.”

“All right,” Bobby said easily.

Eddie just glanced toward their captain as the man walked away. He had no idea what to say to Buck because he was still kind of stunned by his own behavior and the man’s somewhat easy acceptance of it.

“It’s for Christopher,” Buck murmured, and Eddie’s shoulders slumped. “I get it, Eds.”

He was so relieved he could cry. Eddie turned his face into the shower spray again. Buck pressed a wash cloth into his hand.

“You steady on your feet?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said.

“Finish up, and I’ll get you a towel.” Buck stepped out of the stall but left the door open. “Sit down if you get too tired. Falling in the shower at work isn’t something you live down.”

Eddie knew that. Chad Rogers had broken his pinky finger falling in the shower and was still getting grief six months after the fact. He washed up and sat down on the bench in the stall to clean his feet. There was mud between his toes still. Buck laid a towel across the stall wall then another smaller one as well. A testament to how well his partner knew him since Eddie preferred a separate face towel. He finished cleaning up then stood to grab a towel.

He dried his face and head with the smaller towel and dropped it in the basket then grabbed the larger one. He did a thorough job of drying off because he was really tired of being wet. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went out into the dressing area of the showers. Buck and Bobby were talking quietly across the room, but Eddie just sat down on the bench and picked up his socks. He put them on first and flexed his toes carefully. They were so cold.

He pulled his boxers on after discarding the towel on the bench and rubbed his face with both hands. Buck appeared at that point with a bottle of lotion from one of their lockers. They used the same one, so it wasn’t uncommon for them to use the same bottle after a shower. Buck was wearing a pair of sweatpants and socks. He sat down beside Eddie and got some lotion for himself.

“You with me?” Buck questioned as he rubbed lotion onto his arms and across his chest.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I want to see Christopher.”

“That’s our next stop,” Buck assured. “Bobby is going to drive my Jeep to your house, and I’ll drive the truck. Athena’s on her way to follow him.  Did you want to go to the hospital for an eval?”

“Hell no,” Eddie muttered, and Buck laughed a little. “I don’t think I need it, but if Bobby wants it, then I will.”

“Bobby’s leaving it up to you since your vitals were decent when Hen took them,” Buck said.

“Then I want to go home,” Eddie said again. “Just…yeah.”

“Okay,” Buck said. “I’ll get our bags ready.” He stood and walked away, pulling on a T-shirt.

Eddie knew they had a big talk coming, so he appreciated Buck’s silent acceptance of the situation and the fact that he didn’t have the spoons to have any sort of serious conversation. He did a haphazard job of putting on lotion, then pulled on the clothes he’d been given and shoved his feet into his sneakers but just stared at them afterward.

Hen appeared in front of him and knelt. “Let me help out, Eddie.”

“Thanks, Hen,” Eddie murmured as she tied his shoes. “I feel like I could fall asleep sitting here.”

She stood and touched his shoulder. He just face planted against her stomach, and she hugged him tightly.

“You did really well, baby,” she murmured and cupped the back of his head. “Yes, you risked your life, and because you did, that little boy is alive. As a parent, we both know the gift you’ve given that family.”

“Eds, you okay?” Buck questioned.

Eddie sat back as he cleared his throat, and Hen released him. “Yeah, just getting cuddles from a pretty lady.”

Hen laughed and stepped back. “He’s very cuddly.”

“Yeah,” Buck said with a nod. “Come on.” He helped Eddie stand and just brushed his hand away when he tried to take one of the bags Buck had on his shoulder. “Be serious.”

Eddie huffed. “I can carry my stuff.”

“You can carry the bags next time,” Buck consoled and guided Eddie right out of the locker room. “I texted Carla and told her to keep Christopher home from school. She’s contacted the school to tell them there was a family emergency but that he’ll be in school on Thursday as usual, barring any complications.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie said.

“Sure you are,” Buck agreed easily, and Eddie felt deeply patronized.

“I….”

“Ready?” Bobby questioned as he joined them with his own bag.

“Yep,” Buck said and passed the man a set of keys. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“He’s being mean to me,” Eddie blurted out.

“We’re off duty,” Bobby said casually as they left the station. “And you’re the one that decided to put a ring on it.”

Buck laughed even as Eddie huffed.

“All I’m saying is that you’ve literally brought this shit on yourself, Eddie,” Bobby said with a shrug. “See you at your house.”

Eddie just dragged himself to his truck and climbed into the passenger seat to avoid dealing with his own hasty decisions. He huffed loudly, like a teenager, when Buck reached across him and fastened his seatbelt for him.

“You with me, Eds?” Buck questioned.

“I’m trying to be,” Eddie murmured and let his head rest on the seat. “I’m so fucking tired, and I don’t….” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m so tired of fighting them off, Buck.”

“Your parents.”

“Yes,” Eddie admitted. “It’s been this way since he was born. My mother has been trying to take him for years, and she doesn’t care what anyone else wants. You know she tried to manipulate me into moving back to El Paso on the goddamned day of Shannon’s funeral.”

Buck nodded as he started the truck and put it into drive. “Yeah, I know. Well, we have some options. I do wish your proposal hadn’t been broadcasted on CNN.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they had a camera crew there,” Buck said with a grimace, and Eddie groaned. “So, I have some questions that you don’t have to answer immediately.”

“Lay them on me,” Eddie said and stretched his legs as much as he could.

“I’ve never known you even look at another man, Eds. So, I guess my first question is, are you asking me to have a paper marriage here? Will I have to pretend we’re in a relationship while we both discretely fuck other people?”

“I don’t….” Eddie took a deep breath. “I hadn’t thought about that part.”

“I get it,” Buck admitted. “You want me to adopt Christopher, right? So, if you die—I’ll have custody, and your parents will have to work really damned hard to take him away from me.”

“Yes,” Eddie said hoarsely. “I know it’s asking a lot.”

“It’s a lot,” Buck agreed. “But I’m willing to do it. It’s complicated, though. Partner adoption is supposed to be easier, but there will be a legal process and a home study. We’ll have to live together and present what looks like a very real relationship to everyone around us to make sure the process goes smoothly. I don’t think we can tell Christopher any of this, Eddie. He’s young, and he’ll be excited. If he thinks any of it is fake, then he might react badly. He might reveal it by accident.”

“I’ve never slept with another man,” Eddie admitted, and Buck just nodded. “You?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Of course?” Eddie repeated. “You say that’s like it’s…just something everyone does.”

Buck grinned, and Eddie huffed. “Well, it’s something I’ve done quite a few times.” He shrugged. “I like sex. I’ve never been picky about how I get laid as long as it’s safe and consensual.”

“I’ve been attracted to a man before,” Eddie muttered and rubbed his thigh as he thought about it. “I was married, though, and I’d have never cheated.”

“Yeah, I know you wouldn’t,” Buck said easily. “You’ve always struck me as the loyal type.”

“Have you ever cheated on someone?” Eddie asked curiously and hoped he didn’t sound judgmental.

Buck made a face. “Sort of.”

“What does that even mean?” Eddie demanded, unprepared for his view of his best friend to be altered out from underneath him. “You’d never cheat on someone you loved.”

“She cheated first,” Buck said. “And it wasn’t love. It was something close to it, though, and I thought we were working toward a future together. Anyways, I found out she was banging my roommate and had been for about a month.”

“And you cheated out of revenge?” Eddie asked because that didn’t sound like Buck at all.

“I sent her a break-up text, then seduced my roommate. He was very eager for it,” Buck said and grinned when Eddie laughed. “She freaked out because she didn’t read the text until the next day, and she was pissed that we’d both, in her opinion, cheated on her. I dumped him as my roommate in person. I was nineteen and living in Aspen, Colorado, at the time. I’d taken a job as a ski instructor. At any rate, I fucked them both over and moved out. They got together, but he still called me multiple times, trying to get laid again.”

“I guess you threw down,” Eddie muttered.

“I ruined that dude for other men,” Buck assured. “I could probably call him right now, and he’d trot over here from Aspen to sit on my dick.”

“Oh my God, why are you my best friend?” Eddie demanded even as Buck laughed. “You wouldn’t let him, right?”

“Nah, he got this exactly once and never again. That’s the real revenge. They’re still together. She thinks she won something, but her man is probably still thinking about getting absolutely railed by me.” Buck shrugged. “He follows me on Insta.”

“Those thirst traps of yours are starting to make a lot more sense,” Eddie admitted begrudgingly. “That’s Class A revenge, by the way.”

Buck hummed his agreement. “I should probably apologize to them both, but they hurt me a lot. I was young and stupid. I should’ve just dumped her, cursed him out, and moved on. But, in the end, I only consider it sort of cheating because the relationship was over the day she slept with him, and I did send the break-up text. Even if I didn’t bother to check to see if she’d read it.”

“I don’t think you cheated at all,” Eddie said.

Buck laughed. “You’re just on my side because you’re my best friend and required to be.”

“Nah, I’d tell you if I thought you were in the wrong,” Eddie said easily.

“Tell me about the guy you found attractive,” Buck said as they got onto the interstate.

“We were in the Army together,” Eddie said roughly. “He was game—unconcerned about the wives we’d both left at home. Once I realized that, any attraction I had for him just withered. It’s hard to make sense of it.”

“He revealed himself to be different than you expected,” Buck said. “His dishonorable intentions put you off, which makes sense. You seem the type to attach emotion to sex.”

“I’ve never slept with someone that I wasn’t at least friends with,” Eddie admitted. “So, yeah, that’s true.”

“I don’t even know the name of the last woman I had sex with,” Buck confessed, and Eddie groaned. “Just being honest here, Eds. I was getting some coffee and she picked me up in line and suggested I follow her home. I fucked her on her own kitchen table, and she thanked me.”

“Thanked you?” Eddie repeated.

“Yeah, three or four times,” Buck said in amusement. “Then she told me I had to go because she had a conference call scheduled and couldn’t be late.”

“How do you live this life?” Eddie questioned, and Buck grinned. He reached out and took the man’s hand. “You’re my best friend, Buck. The best one I’ve ever had. I don’t want to fuck us up trying to protect Christopher from my evil parents.”

“You won’t fuck us up as long you’re honest with me,” Buck said and squeezed his hand gently. “I mean it.”

“Okay,” Eddie said and swallowed hard. “Have you ever thought about having sex with me?”

“Have you looked at you?” Buck questioned with a glance in his direction, and Eddie laughed.

“Shut up.”

“Seriously.”

Eddie made a frustrated noise despite his best intentions. “Buck.”

“Yeah, Eds, of course, I have,” Buck said easily. “You’re beautiful. But I can get laid any time I want, so making a move on you was never on the table. Your friendship means a lot to me, and I was pretty sure you were entirely straight. I guess, in these circumstances, bi-curious is better than horrifyingly straight.”

“I thought you were straight,” Eddie said roughly. “I never even let myself think about it as a result.”

Buck nodded.

“That makes sense to you?”

“Like I said, you attach emotion to sex, and I’ve honestly had problems with that in the past. I’ve used sex much too often to connect with people then expecting emotional attachment to come afterward. It rarely does, and when it does—it usually turns into a mess. I’d like to blame my parents for it.”

“They probably are to blame,” Eddie muttered. “But I’m biased since my parents are hell beasts.”

“Mine don’t love me,” Buck said casually like it didn’t matter, and Eddie closed his eyes briefly. “Maddie always says they’re good people but bad parents. But good people would at least love their children, even if they were bad at the whole gig. I think, honestly, that my mother loathes me. My father is indifferent to my existence, and I’ve accepted that.”

“I….” Eddie made a face. “I never want to meet either one of those motherfuckers.”

“They’re definitely not invited to our hasty courthouse marriage,” Buck said easily, and Eddie laughed. “In fact, we don’t have to invite anyone but Christopher. Everyone we know saw the proposal, so we can keep the actual ceremony as private as we want. We can have a party at your abuela’s afterward if she wants.”

“Yeah, that sounds…about right,” Eddie agreed. “Bobby might get upset.”

“Ha, I dare him to say a word,” Buck muttered. “Because he has no room to talk.”

“True,” Eddie admitted. “And things still aren’t all that great between the two of you, right?”

Buck shrugged one shoulder. “He never holds anyone else to the same standard he set for me. Maybe I earned it early on, but I think I’ve proven myself already. I’d have already moved on if…well. I stayed for you. I came back to the 118 for you.” He made a face. “Not that it felt worth it that first week back.”

“I’m sorry. I was a dick. But you just…transferred to a different station without a word to anyone.”

“I had plenty of words with Bobby,” Buck retorted. “And HR, and Chief Alonzo, and a fucking lawyer, and finally with the union. I didn’t have any words left for anyone else. Besides, I was only gone for three months. Stop acting like I abandoned your ass. I tried calling you more than once, Edmundo. You were ignoring me—even when I came by to pick up Christopher on a weekly basis—like we were getting a hostile divorce.”

Eddie might have been a little dramatic about the whole thing, and he had ended up in therapy. Buck had lost his shit on him one afternoon after bringing Christopher home. He’d told Eddie in the most even, clipped tone ever to get his shit together before his parents realized how fucked up he was over Shannon’s death and took Christopher away from him. It had worked, and the spiral he’d almost gone down just vanished at the very idea of his baby being taken back to Texas without him.

“I don’t even talk to Bosko anymore,” Eddie blurted out.

“Don’t,” Buck warned. “Don’t bring that heifer up.” He pointed a finger at him. “I mean it.”

Eddie huffed. “I did the right thing and reported the street fighting to Professional Standards.”

“Yeah, after you had to be guilted into it,” Buck muttered. “Gah, don’t remind me of this on our engagement day. It’ll haunt me forever. Every single anniversary going forward will be ruined.”

Eddie snorted then started to laugh even as they pulled into his driveway.

“Get out of this truck,” Buck ordered tersely as he parked.

“Ha, it’s my truck, Evan Buckley,” Eddie retorted, but he unfastened his seatbelt. “Get my stuff.”

“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to carry your stuff anymore.”

“You’re the worst fiancé ever,” Eddie muttered. “Well, no, that was Shannon, but you’re running a close second here.” He slid out of the truck and his knees went weak. He caught himself on the door and forced himself to stand up straight.

“Jesus Christ,” Buck muttered. “Don’t you dare move.”

“You okay, Eddie?” Bobby questioned and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Eddie leaned into Bobby with a frown. “Buck’s still being mean to me.”

“Well,” Bobby said with a shrug.

“I hate everyone,” Eddie muttered as his captain guided him toward the house. “Get my stuff!”

“Kiss my ass,” Buck sing-songed back at him.

“Honeymoon already over, huh?” Bobby questioned as he used his own key to Eddie’s house to open the door.

“I should’ve asked Cosmo,” Eddie said mournfully. “Now I’m stuck with Evan Buckley.”

“Ha! I’m stuck with you,” Buck muttered as he dropped their bags on the bench by the door. “I got baby trapped ages ago, and I just realized it.”

Eddie laughed as Bobby put him down on the couch. “Yeah, you totally did.”

“Daddy!” Christopher came into the room with Carla not far behind. “We saw the news! You and Buck are getting married? This is so cool!”

Eddie exhaled slowly and exchanged a look with Buck. He realized that Buck was right. Whatever they did going forward really couldn’t be the fake circumstance he’d expected it to be as he’d dragged himself out of that retention pond. Buck just shook his head at him as Christopher crawled up onto the couch and sprawled across him with a laugh.

He took a deep breath against his son’s curls and wrapped both arms around him. “I’m so happy to see you, Mijo.”

“That makes sense. I’m great,” Christopher said and smiled when Eddie laughed. “I’m glad you’re okay. Carla said you were before we watched the news video. You never keep me home from school, so I was really worried that you or Buck were hurt or…dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered. “I’ll always do everything I can to come back to you, Mijo. I promise.”

“I know, plus you have Buck with you, and he’ll always do everything he can,” Christopher said. “Like in the tsunami. He saved me and a bunch of other people all at the same time.”

Eddie smiled as he looked up and found Buck blushing. “Yeah, he was great that day. Has a medal or two to back that up.”

Buck made a face and walked away again.

Eddie focused on Bobby, who was in a chair across from him, texting. “Is Athena busy? I’d be okay if Buck needs to drive you back to work. Carla looks like she’s laying in supplies to coddle me within an inch of my life.”

“I’m doing a grocery order,” Carla said without looking up from the iPad. “I’ll have it ready for you to look over shortly. I assume Buck will be staying for a couple of days to make sure you’re okay, so we’ll need to adjust what you normally get to keep up with his protein intake.”

“Get some tofu, please!” Buck called from the kitchen. “And some chicken thighs. Also, he’s low on brown rice.”

“Got it,” Carla yelled back.

Bobby smiled at them. “Athena will be off-duty in a few minutes, and she’s not far from here. She’ll come by later in the day to check on you and probably hug you within an inch of your life.”

“Ha, that’s going to be the second pretty lady to cuddle me.” He gave Carla some side-eye. “Wanna make it three, Carla?”

Carla shook her head at him but gamely got up and joined them on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her as she leaned into him. “Who was the first?”

“Hen!” Buck called out from the kitchen. “I thought for a second that he’d passed out on her.” He came back into the living room. “I can put out a call on social media, and women will line up outside the house to hug you, Eds.”

“No.” Eddie made a face. “I’m very picky about my cuddles. Unlike some people.”

“Are you cuddle-shaming me?” Buck questioned. “Seriously?”

“You’ll ask for hugs from anyone that gets close enough after a single beer,” Eddie retorted. “The worst part is no one ever tells you no.”

Bobby laughed and pulled out his cell. “Athena is here. We can’t stay since we need to get home before Harry’s ready to go to school. I’ll call to check on the two of you later.” He glanced between them and shook his head.

Eddie huffed as their captain abandoned him with Buck. He focused on Christopher, who was staring at his face. “What?”

“Are you having an existential crisis because you almost died?” Christopher asked seriously.

Buck was grinning when Eddie looked toward him for help. “French toast, Superman?”

“Yes!” Christopher answered immediately but then poked Eddie in the chest. “Seriously.”

“I am not having an existential crisis,” Eddie told him firmly. “I know exactly why I’m here.”

“Oh, yeah?” his son questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie murmured and kissed his forehead. “I’m here for you.” He met Buck’s gaze, and his partner just gave him a fond look before disappearing back into the kitchen.

“Baby trapped!” Buck called out suddenly, and Eddie laughed.

“Him and me both,” Carla muttered and shook her head when Eddie hugged her closer.

* * * *

“How is this supposed to work?” Buck questioned as they settled on the couch together.

Eddie had slept most of the day and had gotten up just in time for dinner and a movie with Christopher. His son was asleep now, having fallen asleep on the couch beside Eddie, then Buck had put him to bed.

“I….” Eddie took a deep breath. “I trust you, Buck.”

“I trust you, too,” Buck murmured. “I think our friendship is the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life. It’s priceless, knowing that you have my back on and off the job.”

Eddie nodded. “I feel the same.” He cleared his throat. “After the tsunami, I had a hard time. I needed you on the job, and suddenly, you weren’t even at the 118 anymore.”

“You’ve already apologized for the rest of it.”

“Yeah, sure, I did.” Eddie took a deep breath. “But I should’ve been there for you, and I was so wrapped up in my own trauma and grief that I didn’t notice you were struggling. I didn’t notice that Chim was so negatively influencing Bobby about your recovery and accusing you of trying to work on painkillers.”

“I was tested four times while I was at the 133,” Buck muttered. “The last time happened on shift, and Captain Mehta went to HR to complain when I told him I’d been tested so much. I think Chimney was reporting me, which was insane since he hadn’t even seen me in months at that point.”

“Asshole,” Eddie muttered. “I didn’t realize it had happened that many times. Why didn’t you say before?”

“I was trying to move on from it, but I can tell, based on his behavior in the truck, that he’s going to have shit to say about our new circumstances. Plus, he’s never going to forgive me for the fact that Maddie decided to not have any sort of relationship with him,” Buck said. “But that’s his own fault. He said some ugly and stupid shit when I was in recovery after the ladder truck bombing. Though I never did learn the details.”

Eddie took a deep breath as he figured he owed those details to Buck and had for a while. He just hadn’t wanted to open up any wounds on the subject.

“Bobby asked why I was in the ambulance and why you were in the front seat of the ladder truck. If Chimney was going to ride in the captain’s SUV, then that seat should’ve been empty. Cosmo said he’d tried to put you in the back so you could coordinate with the others since I’d been put in the ambulance in violation of the LAFD policy.

“Chimney rolled his eyes at Cosmo, which really pissed him off since he’d just gotten out of the emergency room with a splint on his broken arm. And Cosmo exploded him and explained to him explicitly that he’d put a probationary firefighter, who wasn’t even studying to be a paramedic, on the ambulance without his training partner. Then he just laid out one mistake after another while Chim stared at him in shock.

“Bobby eventually interfered in the confrontation and made them both sit down. He asked Chimney why he separated me and you. Chimney said that he thought we were codependent and that you were a bad influence on me. Then he questioned Bobby’s judgment on letting us remain partners when it was clear that neither of us were capable of being professional on the job together.”

Buck huffed.

“So, Bobby ordered him to give him a specific example where you or I had been unprofessional, and he couldn’t name a single time. Bobby got really stern with him and demanded an example repeatedly until Chimney yelled at him that he couldn’t think of anything. Then Bobby said, and I quote, ‘then don’t tell me fucking lies, Chim. I’m not one of your ladder groupie girlfriends’. Which you can imagine wasn’t received well at all.”

“Right.” Buck made a face. “And Maddie heard all of that?”

“She walked in on it. Chim only got worse after that and said that you shouldn’t be allowed to have a probationary trainee because you’re an immature manwhore. Maddie exploded and threw him out of the hospital. She said she didn’t want him anywhere near her brother, and Bobby agreed.”

“Why do you think he let Chim influence him later?” Buck questioned curiously.

“Guilt and remembered grief,” Eddie said quietly, and Buck sucked in a deep breath. “He’s never going to get over losing his kids, and he loves you like a son. Love like that isn’t always reasonable or fair. Chimney played on that, often reminding Bobby that the bombing would’ve never happened if he hadn’t been doing someone else’s job. Cosmo lectured him in private eventually and threatened to report him for abuse. I’m just glad Bobby got his head out of his ass.”

“Athena made us talk,” Buck muttered, and Eddie laughed. “It was hard, though. We let a lot of crap build up between us, and he’s probably still a little hurt and angry because I threatened to sue everyone in order to get the attention that I should’ve been getting all along on the issue.”

“How is your sister?”

Buck shrugged. “Fine, I guess. She at least pretends she is when she contacts me. Everyone was surprised when she bailed and left LA, but I wasn’t.”

“I was very surprised,” Eddie admitted. “I mean…she was all in on taking care of you and getting you everything you needed during your recovery. Then suddenly, she was gone and didn’t come back when you had the embolism.”

“I never told her about the embolism,” Buck confessed. “We argued over my physical therapy and how I refused to let her interfere with the plan that was made for me. She said I was being stupid and reckless. I took her to the PT center with me and she argued with staff and the doctor directing my care. Once she realized that I wasn’t going to agree with her on the subject, she stormed out of my life.

“Looking back on it, she needed to control something in her life, and I was what she focused on. I couldn’t tolerate that, so she fucked off back to Boston to reclaim her life. At least, that’s the excuse she gave me in the email she sent a month after she left LA. There have been a few calls here and there, but otherwise, we don’t talk much at all.”

“She’ll probably call you about this,” Eddie pointed out.

“She sent a text earlier. I told her to mind her own business,” Buck said and shrugged when Eddie stared at him. “What? I know how to respect my partner’s stance on a subject.”

“That’s weird to me,” Eddie confessed. “Shannon rarely backed my play unless it involved how little contact we wanted my parents to have with Christopher.”

“Well, it’s clear that you two weren’t very compatible. Do you think you’d have married her if she hadn’t gotten pregnant?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie admitted. “The relationship was easy, and we were great friends. The love came later, but it felt solid and comfortable. The sex was good, and I respected her. I thought she respected the family we’d created together.”

“But she didn’t?”

“No, because she abandoned Christopher and me in the middle of the night,” Eddie said. “Frankly, I don’t think she even respected herself during that time period. She was clearly stressed out, unprepared for me to come home injured, and Christopher was demanding independence. He fought the use of his gait trainer, would throw a tantrum if made to use it, and my parents were stressing out all three of us.”

“I can see that. Desperation can make you do crazy things,” Buck murmured. “It’s easy to see where she was mentally, but difficult to accept her selfish decisions because she hurt you both.”

“She never apologized to either of us,” Eddie admitted. “I can’t forgive her for not apologizing to Christopher. She broke his heart and seemed to think he should forget about it because he was so little when she left.”

“Some people discount little kid’s feelings because they’re so quick to shift through their emotions,” Buck murmured. “But it’s not fair to treat them like their feelings don’t matter, and some adults do. It’s clear that Shannon didn’t think he’d remember or care about what she’d done in the past.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “So, thoughts on the whole thing?”

“Well.” Buck shifted around a little so they were face to face. “The adoption process will take time. We’ll have to find a lawyer, an agency to do the home study, and probably a house.”

“This house won’t work?” Eddie questioned.

“It’s small,” Buck said. “There won’t be room for my exercise equipment, for one thing, and I need a home environment to maintain what I have going on because I hate going to the gym. Plus, we probably need more personal space going forward.” He cleared his throat. “And I’m considering a surrogate—I’ve saved up for it. This would be the time to do it, right? I mean not immediately, but within the next two or three years.”

Eddie stared. “You’d share a baby with me?”

“You’ve been sharing yours with me for a while now.”

“Yeah, but….” Eddie cleared his throat. “It would be great. I always wanted more children.” He rubbed his thighs. “So, that’s the legal stuff. What about the other stuff?”

“The relationship stuff?” Buck questioned, and Eddie nodded. “Well, we can have a platonic marriage and seek to meet our own sexual needs discreetly after the adoption is secure. Or we can try to make the arrangement work, figure out what sort of sex we can have together….” He shrugged. “I don’t have any expectations on that front, but I have to be honest about my needs—I can’t go without sex with another person at this point in my life for a very long period of time. Six months is fine—years on end is not fine.”

“I don’t enjoy going without either,” Eddie admitted. “I have a hookup, and I like her, but it’s not serious. I was just relieved to find someone that I could connect with enough to want to sleep with. I think she feels the same. We don’t date, and she’s never made noise about wanting anything like that from me.”

“That sounds about right,” Buck said. “It’s clear that casual sex is rare for you.”

Eddie exhaled slowly. “This is going to sound really weird, and I’m just being honest, but I hate sharing you with other people. It would be uncomfortable for me to know that we were married and that you’d be going out to fuck some stranger whose name you’d probably not bother to get.”

“It would certainly be the best way to make sure someone doesn’t get expectations,” Buck said easily. “And I already knew the other thing.”

“What other thing?” Eddie asked.

“That you hate to share me,” Buck said with a laugh. “You glare at Chad all the time.”

Eddie huffed. “You’re my best friend, not his, and I have to share you with my kid, but I’m not sharing you with that asshole.”

“You know, I think he’s a bro,” Buck said easily as he stood. “I need to load the dishwasher.”

Eddie nodded and followed him into the kitchen. He huffed a little when Buck prodded him gently toward the kitchen table. “I can help.”

“Please sit,” Buck said. “As to our conversation, I’m not demanding sex from you, and I don’t want you to feel pressured to provide it just to prevent me from getting it elsewhere.”

“I don’t feel that way,” Eddie said and hopped up onto the counter to sit instead of going to the table. “Because I don’t want to go without sex either. I also don’t want to stress Christopher out and he might notice if we’re leaving the house late at night when we should be at home with him. I don’t know how he’d explain any of that to him. In fact, I sort of never want to explain any sort of sex thing to him.”

Buck sighed. “He’s had the sex talk, right?”

Eddie made a face. “He’s eight. I mean, we’ve discussed inappropriate touching and privacy. The privacy issue came up again over the summer because my mother tried to give him a bath while she was here. I was in here with Pop, trying to figure out what we were going to order for dinner, and he started shouting. When I got back to his room, he was shouting at his grandmother that she wasn’t allowed to see his private parts. I separated them and gave her a lecture for violating his privacy.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s good at policing his boundaries,” Buck said. “So, have we made a decision here?”

Eddie swung his feet and sighed like the world might end. “I guess I’m gonna have sex with you.”

Buck huffed. “Wow.”

Eddie laughed. “Seriously, though, we can try to figure out the sex thing together, and if it’s a no-go, then we can…maintain until the adoption is processed, right?”

“Right,” Buck said and made a face. “Well.”

“What?”

“It’s just been a while since I’ve been with a virgin,” Buck said.

Eddie huffed. “Fuck you.”

Buck laughed. “Come on, you know that taking a virgin to bed is stressful. It’s like if you make a mistake, you’re going to ruin sex for them forever.”

“Then I guess you’d better bring your A game,” Eddie retorted, and Buck raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously.”

“I’m great in bed,” Buck said plainly, and Eddie stared for a long moment because his partner had that ‘competent I got this’ tone he normally only used on the job.

“Did we just decide to become married best friends with benefits?” Eddie questioned. “Is this remotely healthy?”

“Frankly, I rarely have healthy sexual relationships,” Buck said with a shrug. “I trust you like I trust myself, which would be rare for me in the sex department. I love you, and that’s practically never been a thing.”

“You love me?” Eddie questioned, startled and pleased because Buck had never said anything like that to him before.

“I mean, of course, I do. Not exactly like a brother, but not exactly in a romantic way, either. My grandma told me when I was little that you can’t love the same way twice. That every single relationship you have with another human will be different, but no less special or important.”

“I love you the same way, which probably means we shouldn’t try to make it more than it is,” Eddie said and exhaled slowly when Buck nodded. “But….”

“Christopher,” Buck said quietly, and Eddie looked down at the floor. “Let’s just keep respect and honesty on the table and upfront in everything we do, okay?”

“I can’t handle being lied to by a friend or lover,” Eddie said quietly.

“I can’t either.” Buck put glasses neatly in the top rack. “It’s like people get stupid when sex is in the mix. They start bargaining with themselves regarding what they can and cannot do without considering what their partner might want or feel. And for us, it’ll be more than just a fuss about bad communication. I mean, we work together, but if we build a life with Christopher then destroy it because we’re stupid, then…. What I’m saying is that I think if you put a ring on my finger, you’re gonna be sort of stuck with me until he’s a grown-ass man.”

Eddie laughed and slipped off the counter. “There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with, honestly. You were my only choice, Buck, when I crawled out of that pond.” He paused. “Even if Cosmo is better looking.”

“Man,” Buck muttered. “It’s hard to even look at him sometimes. How does a human being like that even exist and walk around not being a supermodel?”

Eddie laughed.

“And you’re a pretty great partner for shenanigans and for getting stuck in places,” Buck acknowledged and snagged his hand. He pulled him closer, and Eddie went in for a hug because he loved Buck’s hugs.

Eddie let his head rest on Buck’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around the man’s back. “What if we don’t have any sexual chemistry?”

Buck’s hand settled on Eddie’s hips, and he found himself backed up against the wall next to the door. “Let’s find out.”

Eddie laughed then gasped a little as Buck’s mouth settled on his. He cupped the back of Buck’s head involuntarily as the kiss drifted from a soft press of lips straight into the most intense kiss he’d ever had in his life. Buck pressed one muscled thigh between Eddie’s legs, and any worry he had about their sexual compatibility sort of fucking died right there in his kitchen.

Buck kissed like he had all the time in the world to do it and that shouldn’t have been startling since he knew the man to be patient and steadfast with everything he did. Eddie wanted more and that wasn’t exactly a surprise. He hadn’t really been all that worried about their sexual chemistry as they were such a great match in every other way that it seemed impossible that sex would be an issue. Buck was gorgeous and certainly his type if he were inclined to admit such a thing, and he wasn’t.

The kiss ended between one breath and the next. Buck trailed several kisses along his jaw and hugged him close. He hummed softly against Eddie’s jaw and tightened his grip briefly on Eddie’s hips before releasing him.

“I think we’ll do okay.” He wet his lips as he took a step back.

Eddie adjusted his cock, which was so hard it felt achy. It had been years since he’d gotten so hard so fast. “So, you intend on seducing me then?”

Buck grinned. “Why the hell not?”

* * * *

Buck’s phone was buzzing gently on the nightstand, but he wasn’t really in the mood to read whatever his sister had to say. She was one of the few people who had a vibrate-only notification for text messages. They’d eventually agreed not to have regular phone calls because all they did was argue repeatedly when they got on the phone or did FaceTime. She just couldn’t keep her bossiness to herself, and Buck couldn’t tolerate it.

Eddie shifted beside him in bed and threw an arm over Buck’s stomach. They often ended up sharing a bed if Buck spent the night at Eddie’s house since the couch was not an option due to his size. He’d done it once, and he’d never do it again because he’d been sore as hell for most of the next day.

The phone buzzed again.

“Someone is sending you a lot of messages.”

Buck pulled him closer, and Eddie hummed his agreement at the change of position as he settled fully against his chest. “Some of them are probably Maddie, but the rest are just notifications—bank balance, traffic report, and stuff like that.”

“Are you going to ignore her?”

“Nah, but I don’t make her a priority since I’ve rarely been one for her since she left for college,” Buck murmured. “I had a skewed view of my sister that I had to work my way through in therapy. As a little kid, I saw her as my savior and the only person who loved me. It created an unhealthy dynamic between us that she used against me when she came back into my life.”

“Abuse victims often learn some terrible lessons from their abuser,” Eddie said, and Buck took a deep breath. “It’s a survival response, and I’m not blaming her for that. But she’s manipulative and lashes out when she doesn’t get her way. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one who reported you for supposed drug use. Or she encouraged Chimney to do it just to get her way. It was bizarre since the ladder truck bombing wasn’t a job risk.”

“She doesn’t know how to separate any of that out,” Buck murmured, and his phone buzzed again. He sighed and reached out for it.

“I’m sorry for whatever stress she’s about to throw all over you because I proposed to you live on CNN.”

Buck laughed. “I can’t even imagine what’s happening on my Insta right now.”

Eddie groaned and buried his face against Buck’s shoulder.

Buck focused on his phone and unlocked it with his code. He skipped over the notifications and focused on the messages from his sister. There were four, and even the brief preview of the first one was infuriating. But he clicked on her name regardless of the dread pooling in his gut.

Maddie: You are my business and I’m not going to let you fuck up your life. The two of you aren’t dating and never have dated. He’s straight Evan!

Maddie: I can’t believe you just said yes to him like it was no big deal. He’s clearly having some kind of trauma response to almost dying but that’s no excuse for you indulging in his crazy.

Maddie: Stop ignoring me! I know you aren’t working right now!

Maddie: I don’t have any leave and can’t take off work right now. But I’m not going to let you ruin your life. I’m going to call Mom if you don’t answer me.

Buck stared at the texts and took a deep breath. “She’s threatening to bring our mother into this like Margaret gives a shit what I do. In fact, if she has a problem with any of this, it will be because she’s homophobic, not because she’s concerned about me and my life.”

“What do you think your mother will do?”

“I don’t know and honestly don’t care. I’m twenty-eight years old and way past the age where I’d let either of them boss me around,” Buck murmured and sat up. “I need coffee to deal with this bullshit.”

“I’ll make it,” Eddie said and eased out of the bed.

Buck followed but only got as far as the couch in the living room. He stared at his phone for a moment and exhaled slowly as he processed his anger and hurt.

Buck: I don’t need your permission to live my life Maddie. This isn’t going to be a discussion and I don’t care what you think. I told you yesterday that my decision to marry Eddie is none of your business and I mean it. Get on board that idea or I’ll block you like I did your mother years ago. I did without your so called guidance for nearly a decade so please don’t assume contact with you is somehow a requirement for me. Do not attempt involve Margaret in my life either. We want nothing to do with one another. And that is also none of your business.

Buck: You made it clear when you left LA without a word to me that I wasn’t important to you. I nearly reported you missing to the police until you finally deigned to answer my calls and only then you told me to leave you alone. Don’t act like you’ve got some moral high ground here or that I owe you obedience as if I were a child. If you can’t treat me like an adult then don’t contact me at all going forward.

He put his phone aside as he heard Eddie’s ringing from the bedroom. He sighed and went to get it. It had stopped ringing by the time he retrieved it and took it to the kitchen.

“Your mom called.”

“Of course she did,” Eddie muttered as he stared intently at the coffee maker.

“You realize I’m going to put my coffee maker in this kitchen when I move in, right? I’m not going to tolerate your fifteen-dollar drip coffee machine while mine sits in a closet.”

Eddie made a face.

“I mean it. I paid 700 bucks for it.”

“I guess I can tolerate your ridiculous and stupidly overpriced coffee maker,” Eddie muttered. “But it’d better not talk to me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell her that you hate her. She’ll make a note of it, and when the machines take over, you’ll be on your own.”

“Buck and me will be fine,” Christopher said as he came into the kitchen. “Because we love Hildy and made good friends with her. She makes me hot chocolate whenever I ask. I can’t wait for her to move in.”

Eddie looked at his son like the boy had betrayed him.

Christopher shrugged and focused on Buck. “Can we have omelettes?”

“Sure,” Buck said and accepted the cup of coffee that Eddie offered. “Thanks. Eds, you’re in charge of the salsa. We should have all the ingredients and the parts of the food processor are in the dishwasher.”

“I’ll set the table,” Christopher said happily.

Buck pulled a carton of eggs from the fridge and only glanced briefly toward Eddie’s phone when it started playing the weird but familiar song that he associated with Helena Diaz because of the ringtone. He’d never asked what it was. Christopher laughed a little as he got silverware out.

“What is that song?” Buck questioned.

“It’s the Wicked Witch theme music from the Wizard of Oz,” Eddie said and shared a look with his son. “Christopher picked it out.”

“Grandma’s a lot,” Christopher muttered. “She’s always trying to be my mom, which is gross because she’s Daddy’s mom. I told her that it would be weird to think of her as my mom, and she got upset with me. Then I asked her….”

Buck glanced his way when Christopher trailed off. “What?”

Eddie sighed. “He asked her why she kept calling him her baby because, and I quote, ‘moms shouldn’t have babies with their sons’. Then he asked me, in front of her, if she’d bad touched me and told me that we could go to the cops and report her if she had.”

Christopher laughed.

“Then continued, while she burst into tears, to tell me that he would support me on my healing journey and that it wasn’t my fault my mother was a pervert.”

“When did this happen?” Buck asked in confusion.

“When Daddy was all butt hurt about you taking care of yourself and policing your boundaries with Captain Nash,” Christopher said dryly. “He said I shouldn’t talk about trolling grandma because someone might take it seriously and report her.”

“She went back to Texas without saying goodbye,” Eddie said. “And my father tried to lecture me and Christopher both. I cut that shit off because he’s not going to parent either one of us. It was weird that he’d even try, and I told him that. And stop saying I was butt hurt, Christopher.”

Buck glanced the kid’s way and found him rolling his eyes. “You were, though.”

Eddie huffed. “Shut up, Buck.”

“Daddy, you should probably be nice to Buck. At least until he marries you, and he’s sort of stuck,” Christopher earnestly.

“I don’t think this house is going to survive this level of smart ass,” Eddie muttered and held up a hand when Buck started to respond. “I’ll turn this whole engagement around, Evan Buckley.”

Buck just laughed.

* * * *

His mother never left voice mails, which was just as well since he’d have probably deleted them without listening. Eddie frowned as she called for the third time in as many minutes. They’d managed to eat breakfast without another call from her, but she’d clearly lost her patience in waiting for him to call her back.

Eddie took his phone into the bedroom and shut the door. Buck and Christopher were in the garage which was used for storage. It was too small to store his truck, and Eddie doubted Buck’s new Jeep would fit in it either. Mostly, Buck was organizing it so they could store more stuff in it until a new house was feasible. Eddie had six months left on his lease, so they had time to look and make a really good decision for their family.

His mother started calling again, so he answered. Eddie set up an app to record the phone call and answered.

“Hello, as always, I’m recording this phone call. If you don’t consent to be recorded, please feel free to hang up.”

“I’ve told you repeatedly that I don’t give a fuck if you record our conversations, Edmundo! I have been calling you all morning! Why have you been ignoring me?”

“I’ve told you before that I don’t take phone calls during meals and that you should text if you have an emergency. I make every effort to be present for Christopher, which I know you don’t understand since you drank your meals in the sunroom while the rest of us ate my entire childhood. I had more meals with the housekeepers Pop continuously had to hire than I ever did you or him.”

His mother hissed in his ear. “I was an amazing mother to you and your sisters!”

“I’m sure that’s what you think,” Eddie said. “What did you want?”

“What do I want? Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am right now? My Facebook is full of congratulations posts from our family and friends because of your stupid stunt last night! The whole country has seen it, Eddie, and I’m so furious with you! Your father might die of shame! He refuses to discuss it. He’s out in the garage right now, avoiding me.”

“What does he have to be ashamed of?” Eddie questioned. “Because I did what I did, a little boy went home to his family. I realize cutting my line was a little reckless, but I knew the well was connected to a retention pond. The lightning strike was a freak occurrence. But I’m fine, thanks for asking. My air lasted long enough for me to get to the surface.”

“Obviously, you’re fine!” Helena hissed. “That part was on CNN, too, and your father was so proud of how brave you were, Eddie! Then you turned around and exposed yourself to be a disgusting pervert for everyone to see. Your father refuses to believe his only son is gay. I refuse to believe it, too! You’re going to post on Instagram as soon as possible and tell everyone you were just having some kind of delusional trauma response!”

“Well, I’m not gay,” Eddie said reasonably, and his mother sighed in what was probably relief. “I’m probably closer to demisexual than I am bisexual, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m not going to get on Insta and take back anything. I fully intend to marry Buck as soon as possible. Neither you nor Pop are invited, by the way. In fact, considering this phone call, I’d rather not hear from you for a very long time. And if Pop has anything ugly to say—he can keep that shit to himself.”

“I’m coming to California to get Christopher. I can’t let him live with you after this.”

“Are you threatening to kidnap my son?” Eddie questioned.

“You’re going to sign over custody because if you don’t—we’ll get a lawyer!”

“I’m never signing over custody of my child to you,” Eddie said evenly. “And if you think a judge in California will give custody of my physically disabled child to a pair of geriatric bigots from Texas with absolutely no wrongdoing on my part, then you are the one who is delusional. But feel free to waste Pop’s money getting a lawyer to tell you, again, that you have no case. This will be the fifth time, right? Because I’ve got news for you, Mom, being in a homosexual relationship isn’t considered grounds for losing custody of your child.”

“It should be!” Helena snapped. “I’m so disappointed in you, Eddie.” And her breath caught as she started to cry. “How could you do this to us?”

“Well, it’s not my fault. If you didn’t want a son just like me, then you shouldn’t have had me,” Eddie retorted. “You should go check on Pop—going from proud to dying of shame in the space of a few minutes probably has him choking on his toxic masculinity.”

“I’m going to give you a day to think about this then we can discuss Christopher’s custody going forward.”

“I’d give my son to a stranger to raise before I would you,” Eddie said plainly and winced when his mother started to sob. “Don’t drink a whole bottle of wine today, Mom. You’re too old for a bender.”

She hung up on him with a screech. Eddie shrugged to himself as he sighed and stopped the recording. He saved the file with the date in a folder on the cloud and added a note about the content to the document he kept for the recordings then closed the whole thing out. Keeping a digital fuck you file on his parents had been Buck’s suggestion, and Eddie was really glad he’d started doing it.

He figured his future lawyer would appreciate it, too.

* * * *

“Your sister called me.”

Buck groaned from his place at Bobby and Athena’s stove. “Did you tell her to fuck off?”

Athena pretended to be offended. “Watch your mouth, young man.”

He grinned at her. “Seriously. Did you tell her to fuck off?”

“I didn’t,” Athena murmured and leaned on the counter to sip her coffee. “I did tell her that your relationship with Eddie was none of her business. She was angry to be told that and said that you were her family. I pointed out to her that family wouldn’t have abandoned you during your recovery because she didn’t like how you were handling your own medical choices.”

“And she cried.”

“Yeah, she straight up ugly cried right in my ear,” Athena said dryly. “I told her she needed therapy, and she tried to say she was fine. And I told her if she was fine after nearly being murdered and killing her own husband in self-defense, I didn’t want her anywhere near anyone I claimed as family because only a sociopath could be fine after that.”

“I was gonna say that a psychopath would be fine, but they’d probably be raging around like a hurricane,” Buck said dryly, and Athena nodded. “So, yeah, she’s absolutely not fine, and I can’t deal with that from here. I’m certainly not going to chase her, and if she expected me to, then she’s delusional about more than her own history. I do want to help her, you know. I want her to be well and get her life in order. I want her to be happy. But I can’t sacrifice my own dreams and happiness just to please her neurotic need for control.”

“No, of course not,” Athena said as she pulled out plates and put them on the counter.

He cut patty melts he’d made, slid them onto the plates, and she snagged a bag of chips before they headed to the living room. They settled onto the couch, and she picked up the remote. They had two episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race to watch, and no one was allowed to bother them unless something was on fire.

“Did you want to talk about any of it?” Athena questioned.

“Nope,” Buck said, and she nodded before starting the show.

He opened the bag of chips and dropped it on the couch between them.

* * * *

“Daddy.” Christopher snuggled closer and sprawled across Eddie’s chest. “Why didn’t Buck stay here to watch his show with us?”

Eddie ran his fingers through his son’s curls. “Do you remember when I told you that family is important but that no matter what anyone else ever has said, you can absolutely choose who is family to you and who isn’t?”

“Yeah, of course,” Christopher said. “I remember everything you tell me. Even the stuff I don’t want to remember—like picking up my wet towels.”

Eddie smiled. “Well, Athena is special to Buck. She helped him a lot after he had his embolism. He was very upset when he was arguing with Bobby as well. Athena’s the reason he even came back to the 118. They’re family.”

“She’s like his mom,” Christopher said quietly. “That’s nice.”

“Is it?” Eddie questioned. “Do you want a new mom?”

“No,” Christopher made a face and turned his head to stare at the TV where they’d paused an episode of the telenovela that they were absolutely not addicted to. “I’ve got Buck and Carla. I don’t need a new mom, ever.”

“I know your mom hurt you,” Eddie said. “It’s okay to talk about it.”

“I’d rather talk about literally anything else, Daddy,” Christopher muttered.

“Okay, Buck thinks you need the sex talk,” Eddie said and grinned when Christopher shot up off his chest with a horrified squeak.

“I do not!” he denied with a squinty frown. “I’m gonna have a long talk with him about boundaries, Daddy.” He took the remote and started the show. “I can’t believe this.”

Eddie laughed. “I could get him to give it to you. He’d probably make diagrams and a slide show presentation for the iPad.”

“Ay Dios Mío,” Christopher muttered. “He would! He will!” He turned off the TV. “Okay, let’s just knock this conversation out, Daddy, so I don’t have to go through a slide show about STIs and condoms!”

Eddie pretended to consider it. “Maybe you do need a slide show. When I was in school, they taught us how to put on a condom using a banana in health class.”

“I’m so appalled,” Christopher said as he sat up and adjusted his glasses. “We need popcorn for this. You can have a beer, and I’ll have a Coke.” He nodded to himself. “Then you can tell Buck you did it, and I never want to discuss it again.”

“Sounds like half of a plan,” Eddie said in amusement and gamely followed his son into the kitchen to make popcorn. “But we’ll definitely be having another conversation when you’re older.”

Several hours later, his son was hiding in his room, and Eddie was a mixture of amused and pissed off. He’d been as non-explicit as he could while outlining the physical specifics. The whole conversation about condoms, babies, and various other forms of birth control that could be used had actually been the biggest part. Mostly because that part had led to a conversation about accidental pregnancies.

During the last part of the conversation, it came out that his father had told Christopher that he was an accident and that he’d forced him and Shannon to get married. Eddie had admitted that both of his parents had pressured him to marry Shannon, but that there had been no literal force involved. It made Christopher feel better as he’d been blaming himself for how unhappy his parents had been.

There had been some amusing moments, especially since his son was still in a place in his life where kissing was gross. So, the more intimate parts of sex had been a lot for the kid to take, and Eddie had made sure to keep it as non-explicit and surface-level as he could. But he had gotten Christopher to promise to come to him when he was ready to have sex for a more explicit talk. He really hoped his son remembered the promise but wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t.

He sat down at the kitchen table and called his father on FaceTime. It got answered more quickly than he expected.

“Did you tell Christopher that he was an accident?” Eddie asked plainly before his father could speak.

A few emotions crossed his father’s face. “Did he tell you that?”

“Just answer my question,” Eddie said firmly and glared when his father started to shake his head. “Do not accuse my boy of lying. He’s a better man at eight than either of us will ever be.”

Ramon Diaz flushed and averted his gaze. “Yeah, but only because he overheard me discussing it with Helena. It was a few months after Shannon died. I told him that I regretted making you marry her, and I do regret it.”

“You didn’t make me do jack shit,” Eddie said, and his father blinked in surprise. “I married Shannon because her mother cried when we told her that we were pregnant. She was happy, but also really sad that we weren’t married. I liked Janet Whitt, so I told Shannon we could go to the courthouse and get married if she wanted. It’s why her mother was our witness.

“If Shannon hadn’t wanted it, we’d have just blocked you and Mom. I stopped caring what you wanted more than a decade ago, Pop. You enabled every single terrible behavior Mom has. She’s terrible, and you overlook it, so she doesn’t make you miserable. You’ve been doing it since I was a little kid and I’ve honestly been disgusted by it most of my life. It was genuinely embarrassing when I realized just how weak you become in the face of her outrageous and awful behavior.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Yeah, well, stop paying for your asshole wife to visit lawyers,” Eddie retorted. “She’s threatened to sue me again, and apparently, you’re dying of shame because I asked Buck to marry me.”

“I like Buck,” his father said unexpectedly, and Eddie stared in surprise. “He’s a strong and honorable young man who loves Christopher with his whole heart. He risked his life during the tsunami more than once to keep my only grandson alive. He’s also nicer to me than you are.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open, but he couldn’t actually deny it. “Don’t take that personally; he’s nice to everyone. He’s practically a Golden Retriever.” His father laughed. “If you let her sue me, Pop, I’ll never forgive you. It’s a deal breaker.”

“If she wants to spend her monthly allowance on a consultation with an overpriced lawyer in order to be told no again, that’s her business,” Ramon said with a shrug. “I always call the lawyer in advance of the meeting and tell them I won’t ever fund a lawsuit. I told Helena years ago that if you were truly struggling with Christopher, you’d tell me. Maybe that’s not as true as I want it to be, but I don’t think you’d let your boy suffer out of pride.” He paused. “Do you need money? Are you marrying that pretty White boy for money?”

Startled laughter from behind him told Eddie that his partner had returned home as quietly as possible. He huffed.

“I don’t need money,” Eddie said firmly. “And who are you to talk? I might not like her, but Mom’s objectively beautiful and so pale she practically glows in the dark.”

Buck entered the kitchen with four reusable grocery bags full. “A man will put up a lot for a pretty face. Hell, maybe he’d even agree to marry someone after a half-assed marriage proposal on national television.”

Eddie made a face at him even as his father laughed. “So, you aren’t dying of shame?”

“I have no shame to speak of,” Ramon said dryly. “I give it to God once or twice a month in confession. It’s the only benefit of being Catholic.”

“Wow,” Buck muttered under his breath.

“So, no, I don’t care who you marry as long as they love Christopher,” his father continued. “Your mother is upset, of course, so I have to pretend I care.” He shrugged. “I’ll confess to that, too, since lying is a sin. At this point in my life, Mijo, my goals are just to be comfortable, have a cold beer when I want, and not go to hell when I die.” He sighed. “Your mother just pulled into the garage. I’m going to have to go hide in my mancave. Bye.”

Eddie blinked when his father abruptly ended the call. He put his phone down.

“Your old man is borderline feral,” Buck muttered, and Eddie laughed. “Also, I can’t believe he has a mancave. We don’t have one.”

“The whole house is a mancave,” Eddie pointed out. “What did you get? We just got groceries.”

“Yes, I put those up while you slept,” Buck pointed out. “As to what this is—it’s the contents of my fridge and food cabinet at the loft. I think I need to stick around here so Christopher doesn’t have any problems adjusting.” Eddie nodded. “And I didn’t want it to go to waste. I’m probably going to have to meal prep and put some stuff in the freezer. Plus, I need to go back and clean out my own freezer at some point in the next couple of weeks.”

“Did you have a good time with Athena?”

“We’re both super pissed,” Buck said as he unpacked. “Our favorite queen got voted off. She was great, so we’re considering writing angry comments online about it.”

Eddie swallowed hard to keep from laughing. “Right.”

“Whatever,” Buck said with a glare in his direction. “You watch telenovelas and probably American soap operas, too.”

Eddie wasn’t going to admit for love or money that he watched Days Our Lives on his phone when no one was looking. He flushed but also was glad he lived in the age of streaming because he’d hate to miss his show on the days he worked. Also, it was Hen’s fault he even watched that show because she watched it at the station, and he got addicted while Buck was at the 133 and not around to distract him from the TV.

“Shut up.”

“You took too long with that,” Buck said in amusement.

Eddie grabbed one of the bags that looked like dry goods and took it to the cabinet to unpack. “Sorry your favorite drag queen left the show.”

“It happens every season, but we can’t help but pick a favorite,” Buck said. “What did you and Christopher do?”

“We meant to watch TV, but the conversation took a turn, and I ended up giving him what I hope was an age-appropriate sex talk.”

Buck huffed. “I was going to make a presentation.”

Eddie grinned at him. “You can take the more important discussion and make all the slides you want.”

“What’s more important than the sex talk?” Buck questioned with a frown.

“Fiscal responsibility,” Eddie said. “He’ll leave high school with zero information about how credit cards work, remember?”

Buck looked appalled. “In this economy?”

Eddie laughed because that was it; he was done. He slouched down in the chair as Buck fussed over a bag of green beans. “Where’s that heifer?”

“Hildy is in the Jeep,” Buck said. “And you’d better be glad she’s out there, unplugged.”

“I’d never call her a heifer in front of her,” Eddie consoled. “It might get me put on a hit list.”

Buck nodded like that was a reasonable assumption on his part. “Maddie called Athena and tried to whine to her about our choices. Athena told her it was none of her business.”

“Good.”

“Do you think Chimney will keep his mouth shut at work?” Buck questioned.

“If he doesn’t, I’ll go to HR and file a complaint,” Eddie said frankly, and Buck looked his way. “Something I will make very clear to Bobby as soon as I can. I’m not going to let that asshole ask questions and stir up weird rumors about any of this. He might put the adoption at risk, Buck.”

Buck huffed. “Yeah, we definitely need to make sure he’s not on the list of people that might be interviewed as a character witness. He thinks I’m a whore, and he’d certainly tell a social worker that.”

“Maybe he’s just jealous that he can’t get laid like you do,” Eddie retorted. “He clearly thinks women owe him sex, and that’s weird. I’ve never assumed such a thing. Hell, I didn’t even think my own wife owed me sex, and I never assumed she was in the mood for it just because I was.”

“That’s because you’re not an asshole,” Buck said. “There are a lot of men out there that think very differently. So, about the adoption, have you asked Christopher about it?”

“I haven’t,” Eddie admitted. “I figured…well, I don’t think he’d be opposed. Did you want to ask him together?”

“No,” Buck said firmly. “I think you should ask him privately, so he feels free to tell you exactly how he feels without worrying about my feelings.”

“I don’t need a private conversation,” Christopher said as he came into the kitchen, hand skimming along the wall. “When can Buck start adopting me? Also, I’m starving. Daddy fed me popcorn for lunch.” He paused. “Can I call you Papa?”

Buck glared at Eddie. “Popcorn?”

“And Coke,” Christopher tattled. “He had a beer.”

“We had to talk about erections,” Eddie said firmly.

Buck grimaced. “Fair.” He turned to Christopher. “You don’t want to think about the adoption thing? Do you have questions?”

“Just the ones I’ve already asked,” Christopher said and sat down at the table with a little tilt of his head.

“We have to get married first,” Eddie said. “Then we’ll get a lawyer and start the process.”

“And yes, you can call me Papa,” Buck said quietly as he returned to his ask. “And I’m throwing out all the Coke.”

“Too late, I already drank the two cans that were left,” Christopher said with a laugh. “Can we have spaghetti for dinner?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buck said with another glare in Eddie’s direction. “Two whole cans?”

“I accept no judgment.”

“I’m gonna do it whether you accept it or not,” Buck muttered, and Eddie stuck his tongue out at him.

* * * *

“How do you feel?” Buck murmured as Eddie moved closer to him in the bed.

“A little tired,” Eddie admitted. “Emotionally exhausted. My mother is never going to be the parent I want, and I’ve tried to accept it. I just wish, for once, that she’d surprise me in a good way. But she’s so selfish that sometimes it’s hard to even speak to her.”

“You know….” Buck took a deep breath. “You don’t have to speak to her at all, Eddie. You can tell her to fuck off permanently and just refuse to allow her in your life.”

“That sounds easy, but it’s not,” Eddie said. “She might go completely off the rails if I did that. Moreover, I’m not sure if Christopher would agree, and I don’t want to hurt him.”

“She’s not good for either of you,” Buck said quietly. “And it’s okay to acknowledge that. A discussion with him on the topic is probably in order because we can’t allow her to disparage you or our marriage. It could be considered parental alienation, and that’s child abuse in the state of California.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “Okay, but later. He’s already stressed out because of the well situation. He’s putting on a good front, but I want to make sure he’s processed that before I pile more stress on him concerning my awful mother.”

“Agreed,” Buck said. “Not that I want to see any stress piled on him.”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed. “Did you want to go to the class presentation with us on Friday?”

“I would love to,” Buck said. “But I have appointments all morning. I could cancel the therapy session, but not the orthopedic since I need to get a scan on my leg.”

Eddie stiffened. “Is there a problem?”

“Nah, this is my final post-op scan. The screw has been out for six months, so my doctor wants to do a final check on the healing. It doesn’t hurt, and I haven’t had any serious muscle issues since the last operation. But I did make an agreement with HR and the union that I would follow through with all my appointments and report any issues.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay, I’ll mitigate that if Chris asks, and he might, considering the change in our relationship.” He lifted up and stared at Buck’s face in the semi-darkness of the room. “You cool?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t of course me,” Eddie retorted, and Buck laughed. “We need to be very good about the communication going forward, Buck.”

“I know,” he said and pulled Eddie down against his chest. “But I am fine, I promise. It was…I lost it when the well collapsed. There’s probably news footage covering it, but Bobby had to grab me.”

“Why?”

“I….” Buck exhaled slowly. “I tried to dig you out with my bare hands.”

“I’d have probably done the exact same thing,” Eddie admitted. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’d do almost anything for you.”

“Same,” Buck murmured. “Are we codependent?”

“I don’t think so,” Eddie said. “Others would disagree, but that might be because we’re so comfortable with one another, and we’re good at communicating nonverbally. It fosters this weird image where we appear more dependent on one another than we actually are. Plus, we’re a great team.”

“That makes sense,” Buck said, and Eddie hummed under his breath. “Wanna make out?”

“Kind of,” Eddie admitted and grinned when Buck looked surprised. “I mean, I don’t want to be a cock tease. I’d just like to explore the whole thing.” He wet his lips. “I locked the door.”

“Come here then,” Buck murmured and pulled.

Eddie couldn’t help but shudder a little as Buck wrapped an arm around his back, pulled him close, and sought a kiss. It was a little more than a soft brushing of lips, but before he could make his desire for more clear, Buck deepened the kiss. He’d rarely been so comfortable so quickly with a new partner before, and it made him question his past experiences. Eddie didn’t think it had much to do with the fact that Buck was a man and all to do with the level of trust they were both bringing into the situation.

He tugged at Buck’s T-shirt, and the man came out of it easily. It had been a while since Eddie had been close to another person in such an intimate way, and it was hard not to push for more. He just didn’t know what he was ready for or what he would actually like.

“You with me?” Buck questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie murmured. “I wish I had more experience with this.”

“I’ve got enough experience for the both of us,” Buck said in an amused tone.

Eddie poked him in the stomach in retaliation and found himself on his back in short order. He laughed a little as Buck leveraged over him and ran a hand down the center of the man’s chest.

“Come down here,” Eddie murmured and wrapped a hand over Buck’s shoulder to tug a little.

Buck was warm and solid. It was easy to relax under the comfortable weight of him. Far easier than Eddie had ever thought possible. Maybe it was the trust that had built up between them like a mountain, or maybe it was the attraction that he’d buried deep down because it hadn’t seemed viable. He spread his legs, and Buck settled between them like he belonged there.

The next kiss was just a soft brushing of their mouths together as Buck cupped one of his hips with a big, capable hand.

“Still seducing me?” Eddie questioned.

“Do you want to be seduced?” Buck asked as he briefly stroked his hand up Eddie’s thigh then back down to his ass.

He lifted him a little, and Eddie couldn’t help but shudder as their bodies came together just so. The feeling of another hard cock against his own was hot and overwhelming despite the clothes separating them.

“I don’t know,” Eddie admitted and groaned softly when Buck rocked against him. “Let’s just be us with no clothes on.”

Buck laughed and kissed him again, then rolled off of him to shimmy out of his shorts and boxers. Eddie did the same and was relieved by the complete lack of nerves. He figured he should’ve been a little nervous, getting naked with another man with sexual intent for the first time, but he wasn’t. It was Buck, and everything was always okay when he was with him.

“You look so adorably determined right now,” Buck said in amusement and pulled him into his arms even as Eddie pretended to be offended. “I can’t say I don’t have expectations, but I can get off in the bathroom if things get too intense for you.”

Eddie responded by wrapping a hand around Buck’s thick cock, and his friend groaned into his mouth before responding in kind. Buck’s hand was warm, and his grip firm. He knew exactly how much pressure to apply, and Eddie shuddered against him.

“I’m clean,” Buck murmured between kisses. “And I’ve never gone without a condom.”

Eddie’s breath hitched. “Well, I was married, but I got tested…just after. I’m fine.”

Buck rolled them over suddenly, and Eddie took a deep breath as Buck settled once more between his legs. He’d used a dildo occasionally, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for anal. But before he could voice that, Buck just wrapped his hand around their cocks, pressed them together, and started to thrust against him. He started to suggest lube, but quickly, it became clear that Buck produced more than enough precum to get the job done.

“Dios,” Eddie hissed and arched up into the sweet, hot pressure.

Eddie wrapped his legs around Buck’s waist and got a soft, pleased groan in return against his jaw. He cupped the back of Buck’s head and urged him into another kiss, and he got lost in the heated pleasure of the moment. He was coming far before he wanted, but he couldn’t fight it, as he’d rarely been so turned on his whole life.

“Yeah,” Buck murmured and shuddered against him as he came, too. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed and exhaled slowly as Buck released their cocks and slipped off of him. He looked at Buck then, his profile barely visible in the near darkness of his bedroom. “Still cool?”

“Very,” Buck murmured and took a deep breath. “That was…really good. I didn’t expect it to be that intense.” He turned to look at him. “I’ve never come on or in someone before.”

“Oh.” Eddie turned that phrase over in his head.

“I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone that got so serious that even a discussion about fluid bonding even came up,” Buck said. “So, kissing has been the extent of that for me since I became sexually active, and that’s not always been on the table for partners. It’s never on the table for casual partners at all. The last person I kissed on the mouth was Ali until you.”

“I only went without a barrier with Shannon—after we were married. Christopher was an accident. We lost a condom. I don’t regret him and never have. I wasn’t even angry when she told me she was pregnant. She was, though. She had irregular periods and had no symptoms, so she didn’t know she was pregnant until it was too late to terminate,” Eddie explained. “I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“I have money,” Buck said quietly.

“What?” Eddie questioned.

“I have money—a trust fund from a maternal grandmother. I turned it over into an investment account about five years ago, and I keep my investments as safe as possible. I’d spend every single penny to prevent your parents from getting custody of Christopher. In fact, I think we should make a preemptive strike.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie questioned.

“I mean, we should hire a private investigator to tear their lives apart and get all of their dirty, ugly secrets documented, then send them a copy of it. Let your mother know that she’s never, ever getting custody of our son,” Buck said plainly. “Your mother needs to know that I’m more than willing to ruin her life. Because while you might love her, I don’t even like her.”

“That’s a blowjob-worthy plan. It’s too bad I don’t know how to give one,” Eddie said, and Buck huffed.

“Don’t worry; I’m gonna teach you,” Buck muttered and rolled out of the bed. “Come shower with me.”

* * * *

Practically every adult he’d come across in the school had congratulated him on his engagement. Eddie had been weirded out at first but had adjusted as quickly as he could so as to not cause any concern. Christopher was so pleased about the whole thing that he’d often thanked them before Eddie could.

Eddie couldn’t say how he got through his son’s presentation without literally bursting with love and pride. When he was younger, before Christopher had been a possibility, he’d worried about his ability to love. Growing up as he had, hadn’t made love come easy. He could say that the love he felt for his parents and sisters was obligatory. He’d felt guilty to acknowledge that, but it was the truth. He adored his grandmother and would’ve lived with her as a child if his parents would’ve allowed it.

So, he’d worried about love all through Shannon’s pregnancy as he didn’t love her and had felt trapped by the marriage he hadn’t really wanted. Even now, a year after her death, he still felt guilty about how his marriage had begun. He’d trusted Shannon enough to have sex with her, and their relationship had grown into a quiet sort of love centered around the child they both loved beyond reason.

Because Eddie had fallen in love for the first time in his life when his son had been placed in his arms. It had been one of the most relieving moments of his life, and he’d stopped worrying so much about his ability to love. He’d told Shannon that, and she’d told him point blank that she hated his parents and didn’t want them to ever be alone with their baby. It had been a covenant between them, and they’d worked hard to make sure it never happened.

“My teacher said I did great,” Christopher said happily as Eddie checked the five-point harness his son had pulled into place.

The staff at the school had gently suggested that Christopher could have half a day since they’d had such a stressful week and Eddie had agreed. He frankly loved the staff at Durand and didn’t look forward to a school change when Christopher started junior high. But Carla was already on that mission, and they were evaluating their options regarding the next school.

“You were amazing,” Eddie said quietly.

“Where’s Papa?” Christopher questioned.

Eddie pulled out his phone to check his text messages, pleased that Christopher had transitioned so quickly on the subject of Buck as a parent. Maybe he’d already made that shift and Eddie was the one playing catch up.

“He finished both of his appointments, and he’s at the loft,” Eddie said. “He has to make some decisions about furniture, and he wants to go through his clothes.”

“Should we go help him?” Christopher questioned.

“Let me ask,” Eddie said and sent a text. “He might want some alone time. We’ve had a lot of changes thrown at us this week, Mijo.”

Christopher nodded. “Yeah, okay, but Papa always wants to see me. So, if he doesn’t want to see you, then you can just drop me off.”

Eddie laughed even as his phone buzzed in his hand.

Buck: Bring food.

“He wants food.”

“Tacos,” Christopher decided as Eddie shut the door and climbed into the driver’s seat.

Eddie headed for their favorite taco truck, loaded up on food while his son shouted instructions from the backseat, much to the amusement of the people in line with him, and got back on the road with a sack full of tacos that he hoped Buck would be okay with. He normally tolerated Christopher’s food preferences without much of a fuss as long as there were healthier versions. As a result, Eddie knew the location of practically every single organic food truck within thirty miles of his house.

The loft was in a great location in a very nice building, so he supposed that it would sell for a lot. He’d never asked Buck how much it had cost, but he figured that it might sort of be his business now. Christopher bailed on Eddie as soon as the elevator doors opened and headed for the loft. The kid had his own key out and in the lock, before Eddie could rearrange the food and Christopher’s backpack so he could pull out his own keys.

“Papa!” Christopher shouted as he entered the loft.

“I’m upstairs, Superman. I’ll be down in a sec.”

Eddie put the food down on the kitchen island as Christopher happily climbed up onto a stool. He pulled out plates and glasses, then got ice and the filtered water pitcher out of the fridge. The kitchen was looking a little sparse but there were several boxes already packed and taped up off to the side.

Buck came down, pulling on a shirt, and slouched onto the stool beside Christopher. “How’d things go?”

“Great,” Christopher said. “My teacher was really happy with me, and I got to come home early because she was worried about Daddy’s stress.”

Buck grinned. “I see you working, kiddo.”

Christopher laughed. “I’m not afraid to use Daddy’s stress against the man, Buck.”

“The man,” Eddie repeated as he unwrapped tacos for his son and tucked them onto a plate. “Salsa?”

“Not today,” Christopher said. “I had acid reflux this morning after breakfast. I got a Tums from the school nurse, like you said to do, and it helped. Maybe I do need a prescription.”

“We’ll talk to your doctor,” Eddie said and put his son’s food down in front of him. He sat down next to Buck, and they split the rest between them. “How was your appointment?”

“The leg is as good as it will ever get,” Buck said. “And he’s pleased with the recovery. Consistent exercise will keep me where I need to be for as long as I need. He did suggest I start swimming and referred me to a podiatrist because a prescription running shoe might be needed.”

“I have prescription sneakers,” Christopher said. “They help keep my ankles stable. They don’t even look like medical shoes like my old ones did.” He threw out his leg to show off his red and white shoes. “It’s good to have tools to help you.”

“Agreed,” Buck said fondly. “Did you remember to sign up for the party?”

“Yeah, Macy was going to pick cupcakes until I told her that you’d offered to make them, and she chose a cheese and cracker platter instead since we all agree that you make the best gluten-free vegan cupcakes. And if we’re going to have to have gluten-free vegan anything, it’d better be good.”

Eddie laughed.

“Fortunately, no one in our class has nut allergies this year, but we still can’t have peanut butter in the whole school, which is sad,” Christopher said. “But I understand. I wouldn’t want to accidentally kill someone with a peanut butter cup.”

Eddie took that last sentence apart in his head even as his son shoved half a taco in his mouth. He shared a look with Buck, who mouthed the word accidentally at him then grinned.

* * * *

Because they didn’t want there to be any interference, they went to the courthouse after lunch and got married in a quick civil ceremony that the Justice of the Peace seemed thrilled to do. Buck left the LA County Courthouse convinced that someone had just won a bet. They let Christopher pick out wedding rings at a jewelry store afterward, and it was a done deal.

The whole thing was bizarrely simple, and he didn’t feel remotely nervous about the situation. He trusted Eddie with everything, and Christopher was the center of his world. Admitting that had relieved a tight little knot of stress that he’d been carrying around since the tsunami.

He’d taken a picture of their hands, with the shining wedding rings evident, and posted it on Insta. He had a big following because of going viral a few times, but he didn’t make an effort to gain more and was very conscious about exploiting the circumstances of his job. So, his Instagram was personal, but not intimate and short on details. It served to keep the PR department off his back, and it allowed people to follow him to interact with him in a superficial way.

“Do your followers like the rings I picked out?” Christopher questioned.

“Yep,” Buck said and set the phone aside. “You’ve been declared a person of great taste by the Internet at large.”

Christopher laughed and slouched against him. “Buck.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you and Daddy love each other, or did you get married for me?”

“What do you mean for you?” Buck questioned.

“I heard a teacher at school talking about how Daddy was probably suffering from PTSD and that he asked you to marry him as a trauma response.” Christopher huffed a little. “Then she said he was probably just trying to provide me with another parent in case he dies. I want you to be my papa, but I don’t want Daddy to die.”

“Your Dad and I work very hard to be safe on the job and take care of each other,” Buck said. “And your teacher had no business discussing our relationship like that.”

“She talks about Daddy a lot,” Christopher said. “But she’s leaving Durand soon since she’s getting a job at another school. I heard about that, too. I’m glad because I don’t like how she asks about Daddy. It’s always gross when girls are nice to me to get close to him. At least, I can use the whole marriage thing to get out of answering questions now.”

Buck took a deep breath because the kid’s tone was sad, and that made him furious. “Did you want us to go to school and have a talk with the principal?”

Christopher huffed. “No. I don’t want it to be a big deal, and Ms. Flores will be gone soon and that’s just fine. Anyway, does Daddy have PTSD?”

“Well, you know he served in the Army, right?”

Christopher nodded. “And he got hurt a lot. I remember when he came home, Buck. It was really bad, and he could barely walk.”

“Well, post-traumatic stress disorder is a very common condition for people who serve in the military in combat,” Buck said. “So, you’re Dad did have some things to work on, but he was also trained to deal with difficult situations. He’s a survivor, and that’s the part I think you should focus on going forward. I’ll help him through anything he’s got going on, and we’ll get therapy if he needs it.”

“He doesn’t like to talk about his emotions.”

“I know, but that’s an adult problem,” Buck said easily. “So, you can trust me with it.”

“I trust you with everything. I know you’ll take good care of me and Daddy.” Christopher cuddled closer, and Buck looked up to find Eddie standing in the hall just beyond the living room.

“Well, I love you both very much,” Buck murmured, and Christopher nodded.

Eddie looked devastated, and Buck didn’t know what to do. He felt like he should stay exactly where he was, and he knew his partner didn’t want Christopher to know how the conversation had hit. Eddie shook his head and disappeared back down the hall.

“Got any homework?” Buck questioned.

“Just some reading, but I’ve already finished the book,” Christopher said. “It’s a good book. I’ll review the chapter before school on Monday. Can we have pizza for dinner?”

“I was thinking, since we got married, that we might have something nice for dinner,” Buck admitted. “Want to grill some steaks?”

“Oh, yeah. That’d be good,” Christopher said. “And some corn.”

“Sure.” Buck stood and stretched. “Let’s hit the grocery store and get the things we’re missing. Baked potatoes?”

“Of course,” Christopher said with a frown. “What else would we have with steak?”

“Asparagus?”

“No.”

Buck laughed. “Brussel sprouts?”

“Gah, Papa, you’re making me regret everything.”

“Zucchini?”

Christopher inclined his head. “Yeah, okay, that works. But no eggplant this time.”

* * * *

Eddie shifted and settled against Buck as his partner got comfortable on the bed. “I talked to my abuela while you were at the store with Christopher and told her what we’d done. She was perfect about it, and I feel guilty for not inviting her. I told her that, and she said that we had the right to make it as private as we wanted but that we had to endure a big party that she started planning shortly after she watched me order you to marry me on national television.”

Buck laughed.

“Yeah. She said the only part that bothered her was my pure lack of game.” Eddie sighed. “At any rate, there’s going to be a party next month to celebrate our new family and my parents are not invited. We’re expected to provide a list of people we’d like to attend within the week.”

“Sounds about right,” Buck said in amusement.

“You’re great with him,” Eddie murmured. “It’s such a gift in my life, and it has been since the beginning. I love us and this thing we’ve made together without even trying.”

“Me, too,” Buck said and turned on his side to face him. “You were upset.”

“I want to curse out that teacher,” Eddie muttered. “Again.”

“That’s the one that wasn’t paying attention and didn’t notice her students had a skateboard,” Buck said.

“Yeah, and I’ve already lost my temper with her once. I’ve basically avoided her since then and she isn’t his teacher anymore since he moved up a grade. Still, she’s clearly still around him far too much if he overheard that bullshit. I don’t appreciate the speculation or the gossip.”

“Neither do I, but he doesn’t want a big deal made out of it,” Buck said. “And I get that, too. It would stress him out, and that’s the last thing we need right now. Our next step is finding a social services agency to do a home study for us. When is your lease up on this house?”

“Three months,” Eddie said. “The landlord already let me know there would be a small rent increase. Nothing I can’t handle, but it made me realize that I needed to start purchasing instead of investing my money in someone else’s mortgage. But the idea of house hunting is stressful as hell.” He paused. “Less stressful with you adding to the budget.”

“I already have a realtor,” Buck said in amusement. “I’ve given her the basics, and she said she’d get back to me with some listings for us to review, then we can refine what we want.”

Eddie relaxed then felt weird about how relieved he was. “I don’t need to be taken care of, but also, it’s kind of nice to have someone else around to help carry the load. In a more direct way than you have as a friend.”

“That’s reasonable, right?” Buck questioned.

“I think so. I didn’t have that kind of relationship with Shannon. She expected me to be in charge, to make all the major decisions, and take all the heat for any mistakes. But then she also would get furious with me for any choices that I made that she didn’t agree with. I often felt defeated by the whole thing.”

“Partnership means give and take,” Buck said. “It’s not always going to be equal because sometimes one of us will be in a better position to carry more of the load. Just like…well. Just like on the job. We both bring different skills to any situation we face. Home doesn’t have to be any different on that front.”

“That sounds perfect,” Eddie admitted. “I don’t want him to worry about me, Buck.”

“Well, love comes with worry. It’s like pre-installed.”

Eddie groaned.

“Seriously,” Buck said. “When you love someone—you worry about them. I mean, we both know that. Don’t you worry about him?”

“Constantly,” Eddie admitted. “Sometimes, I get up in the middle of the night just to check on him. I think becoming a parent kind of ruined me in the best possible way.”

“It changes your priorities,” Buck said thoughtfully. “Right?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Eddie agreed. “Suddenly, all of my decisions became about him and his well-being. His diagnosis made it worse, in a way. The expenses piled up, and keeping good health insurance became my entire focus. I even requested a combat posting to earn more money to make sure he had everything he needed. Fighting my parents on every treatment and surgery became so stressful that sometimes I could barely breathe.”

“I asked my lawyer for a referral for a PI to investigate your parents,” Buck said, and Eddie took a deep breath. “It’s important that we build a defense against them before they even realize that there’s a real fight to be had.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “Good. Your lawyer handles family law?”

“No, but her partner does. Natalie is in estate planning and probate. She formed a firm with some friends. Together, they cover family, criminal, estate planning, and real estate. She said they were considering recruiting a junior partner for entertainment, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to deal with the bullshit that came along with entertainment law in LA.”

“Can’t blame her there,” Eddie said and moved closer. “We’re good, right?”

“Absolutely,” Buck murmured. “And the rest of the world can just accept what we’ve got going on or fuck right off.”

Eddie laughed. “I changed my Facebook status to married and closed the app.”

“Why do you even have a Facebook?”

“Because my abuela made me,” Eddie admitted. “She’s going to make you reactivate yours, too. It’s how she arranges her parties and stuff.”

Buck huffed. “Man.”

“Plus, she has a Facebook group for the family that she posts to and if you don’t like her posts—she’ll text you and tell you she posted.”

Buck laughed. “How have I not already been subjected to this?”

“We told her she couldn’t require anyone that isn’t legally related to her to be on Facebook,” Eddie said wryly. “She’ll probably text you tomorrow about friending her.”

“The consequences just keep piling up,” Buck muttered, and Eddie laughed. “Come here.”

Eddie just hummed a little as Buck pulled him into his arms and sought a kiss because it was his wedding night. He was definitely looking to get laid, and Buck was clearly on board that plan without any sort of discussion since he’d come to bed naked.

“Hey,” Buck said softly against his jaw.

“Hey, back,” Eddie responded in an amused tone.

“How do you feel about fucking me?” Buck questioned.

Eddie groaned. “I…yeah.”

“Yeah?” Buck let one hand settle on Eddie’s hip. “Because there’s no pressure here. It’s not like fucking a woman. It’s a little messy, so we can use a condom if you want.”

“I want to come in you,” Eddie admitted frankly and gently put Buck on his back as he crawled on top of him. “I’ve done anal with a woman, so I get the basics.”

He pulled open the bedside table drawer and grabbed the lube.

“I’m ready,” Buck confessed.

Eddie took a deep breath and sat back on his knees. “Next time, let’s do that together.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Buck said as he spread his legs and tilted his hips upward. “I just figured it would be easier to come to bed ready for what I wanted.”

Eddie nodded and flicked open the lube. “Presumptuous of you to think you’d just get what you wanted from me.”

Buck grinned. The single lamp they’d left on was putting him on display in a way that was so much of a gorgeous distraction that Eddie found he couldn’t look anywhere else.

“You’re definitely going to give me exactly what I want,” Buck said as he watched Eddie slick up his cock. “You were hard when I got in the bed.”

“You came to bed naked,” Eddie muttered. “After you just walked around the bedroom for at least five minutes, naked, doing whatever you were doing.”

Buck laughed. “I was just putting my stuff away and charging my devices, which took all of a minute. You crazy person.” He motioned to him. “Come here.”

Eddie dropped the lube on the bed and let Buck pull him down into his arms. Buck’s hands slid down his back, then reached between them, and he wrapped a hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie shuddered and pressed his mouth against Buck’s as his cock was positioned. He slid slowly into Buck’s body, and they both groaned.

“Yeah,” Buck murmured. “Perfect.”

It was perfect, Eddie thought, as he started to move. He’d never felt so welcome in his whole damn life, and he didn’t know what to do with that. Eddie sought a kiss before he said something crazy and threw the whole mood off. They fell into a slow grind that had Buck’s cock pinned and leaking between them.

“You could’ve been doing me for years,” Buck muttered. “I’m so mad right now.”

Eddie laughed a little against Buck’s jaw. “Naw, you’re not mad.”

Buck wrapped his legs around his waist as Eddie started to rock deeply into his body. “Fuck, I’m going to come.”

He let most of his weight rest on Buck, pressing the man’s cock against his stomach as he moved, and Buck came with a gasping groan that was so hot that Eddie couldn’t help but go right over the edge with him. They shared a soft kiss, and Eddie started to move away, but Buck stilled him.

“Stay a sec,” Buck murmured and rubbed Eddie’s back gently.

Eddie stared, gazing intently at Buck’s face. “It’s easy to see how all of this could’ve gone if we’d seen the potential from the start.” He carefully pulled free of Buck’s body and kissed him again before rolling off of him and onto his back. “Also, and I shouldn’t admit this, but I really love having sex with you.”

Buck grinned. “Same. I’ll try to keep my ego in check.” He caught Eddie’s hand in his own and laced their fingers together. “We’re always better together, you know. Everything is easier with you. Let’s just promise not to take that for granted.”

“Agreed.” Eddie and frowned. “Shower?”

“Definitely.” Buck pulled him from the bed when he didn’t move immediately. “And tomorrow, we’ll talk about whether or not you need some more therapy.”

Eddie huffed a little, but he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

* * * *

The weekend had kind of blurred together, and on Monday morning, they were back on the job. The only people they’d discussed their marriage with were Isabel and Carla since Christopher had told her the moment Carla had walked into the house. They’d come in together in Eddie’s truck and hadn’t acknowledged the raised eyebrows they’d gotten from practically everyone on C shift as they’d walked into the station.

Buck got dressed and went up to the loft to check where Bobby was on food prep. Bobby was in the middle of making bagel breakfast sandwiches, so he washed his hands and started helping. It was deeply annoying that the rest of the shift rarely pitched in, but he knew it was mostly Bobby’s fault. The man was super critical when it came to food and cooking. Buck hadn’t really noticed, at first, because he’d learned how to ignore that shit as a kid.

Eddie joined them but only went so far as to start wrapping the sandwiches in the parchment squares to be tucked into storage bags. Chimney came to lean on the counter near Eddie but didn’t bother to help. Buck resolved to ignore him.

“So, what did the lovebirds get up to this weekend?” Chimney asked.

“I read all the documentation HR offered on interpersonal relationships, harassment, and the reporting of harassment within the Los Angeles Fire Department,” Eddie said. “What did you do, Buck?”

“Did some grocery shopping, talked Christopher into eating grilled eggplant, and listened to you complain about the grilled eggplant,” Buck said. “Does Bobby count as a lovebird since he’s married? Bobby, what did you do?”

“I cleaned out the garage, mowed the grass, and then took the kids to an escape room. Harry figured it out, and now Athena is concerned he’s going to start sneaking out of the house. If he does, it’ll be my fault,” Bobby said sourly.

Chim frowned. “Are you threatening to report me for harassment, Eddie?”

“Are you going to harass me about my personal life?” Eddie questioned. “Are you going to make passive-aggressive remarks about my personal life? Are you going to make cruel, so-called jokes about my personal life? Are you going to make assumptions and spread rumors about my personal life? If the answer is yes to any of those questions, then yes, I absolutely will report you to HR for harassment.” He zipped up the reusable storage bag and tucked it into the fridge then started wrapping again as Chim stared in stupefied silence.

“I’ve never done any of that stuff to you,” Chim finally said.

“Yeah, you saved that for Buck,” Eddie said. “But his personal life is now my personal life. So, make sure you keep that in mind going forward.”

“I don’t appreciate the hostility,” Chim snapped.

“I don’t appreciate the fact that the first thing you said to us this morning was a snide dig at our relationship,” Eddie retorted. “Which I’ve already told you was none of your business.”

“It’s everyone’s business! The two of you have been codependent since day fucking one, and now it’ll be even worse,” Chim said. “Which one of us is going to pay for it when you can’t leave the relationship that you’re surely both going to fuck up at home?”

“I really hope you aren’t going to stand there and say I’m a fuck up in the relationship department because my deceased wife bailed on me after I was shot in the line of duty because she didn’t have the fucking spoons to deal with a disabled child and a disabled husband at the same time,” Eddie said evenly.

Buck exhaled sharply at the agonizing silence that fell over the loft. He hated the hard grief in Eddie’s voice and wanted Chim to just go the fuck away immediately.

“We discussed it, and we don’t think we’re codependent,” Buck said, and Eddie laughed a little. “Seriously. Good team work doesn’t equal codependent, right Eds? I mean, I’m not saying we don’t have issues—that’s just not one of them. You’re emotionally unavailable, for instance.”

“You’re an overt people pleaser, Evan Buckley,” Eddie said, and Bobby laughed. “Don’t laugh, Bobby, because you enable that shit.” He turned to Chim. “Would you like us to tell you what your problem is?”

Chim glared at him and walked away.

Bobby sighed. “I should probably go ahead and refer him to a psychologist.” He paused. “What is Chim’s problem?”

“Inferiority complex,” Cosmo said casually from the couch. “Which is also why he’s a pathological liar.”

Buck glanced over his shoulder and found that Cosmo was playing a game on his phone.

“Are you going to be like that with him going forward, Eddie?” Bobby questioned.

“Yes,” Eddie said. “I mean, Chim gets to be an asshole with no consequences around here, so I figure I should be able to as well. I just hit my third near-death experience, and thus, I have recycled my give-a-fuck.”

“Thus?” Buck questioned.

“I said what I said,” Eddie retorted, and Buck laughed. “And I don’t think I said anything inappropriate either.”

“Cursing on the job is probably considered bad conduct,” Buck said and grinned when Eddie huffed. “Just saying.” He turned to Bobby. “Also, we have some paperwork to give you.”

Bobby glared at him. “You got married without me, didn’t you?”

“Dude, do you really want to go there?” Buck questioned. “We had a private ceremony with Christopher.”

Bobby huffed but then nodded. “I get it.”

“Do you?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Of course,” Bobby said. “It’s not about anyone else but the three of you and the family you’ve made with one another.” He paused. “Even without the intentional act of dating.”

“I’ve never seen two people not date each other that hard before,” Cosmo said wryly, and Bobby laughed.

Buck flushed because he was starting to think that maybe he’d overlooked something, and it didn’t help that Eddie was wearing his confused but trying to ignore it face. Disgruntled, he finished the last bagel and wrapped it since Eddie was distracted then tucked the last bag in the fridge.

“You’re not going to eat?” Bobby questioned with a frown toward them both.

Buck shook his head. “Christopher wanted red velvet French toast this morning, so we’ve already eaten.”

“You made red velvet French toast this morning?” Bobby questioned. “Seriously?”

“He got up a whole hour early just to do it,” Eddie muttered. “Christopher is spoiled rotten, Bobby, and I blame Buck.”

“He’s not rotten,” Buck protested hotly. “How dare you, Eddie. And it was just a half hour early since I prepped last night.”

Eddie laughed and shook his head as he walked away.

* * * *

It was the longest shift Eddie had ever worked at the 118 and he was including the day they worked the big earthquake during his first month on the job. They’d had a few tedious calls and one long ass haul through a home fire that stank of gasoline and looked so much like arson that the homeowner was taken into custody by the LAPD before the fire was extinguished.

He turned his face into the shower as Buck joined him. They’d showered at work, but Eddie just hadn’t felt clean enough. The stress of the shift had boiled down to Chim’s bullshit and Eddie’s complete inability to ignore him. The lack of rug sweeping had impacted everyone on the shift, and by the end of it—almost all of the dirty looks had been going Chim’s way. So, at least, that was something.

“Should we ask for a transfer?” Buck questioned and pressed a kiss against Eddie’s shoulder. “SAR wanted us before the bombing, and I got some attention when I came back onto the job as well. We could’ve probably gotten into the 56 at that point, especially after the tsunami, if we’d tried.”

“Maybe,” Eddie said. “I can’t put up with his bullshit, Buck. He feels like a threat to our plan. Every word out of his mouth invalidates our relationship, and that feels dangerous as fuck for my baby. Christopher’s welfare has to be our first priority in all of this.” He paused. “Not the only one, of course, because I want us to be happy with what we build.”

He turned in Buck’s hands and kissed him. It wasn’t exactly about want, but that was mixed in with the desire for comfort. The most relieving part was that Buck seemed to understand because the kiss was soft and sweet as they came together against the tool tile of the shower stall.

“I bet you were a water baby,” Buck murmured. “They probably caught hell trying to get you out of the bathtub.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, something like that.”

Buck turned off the water, pulled him out of the shower and dried them both off with the same towel. “California can’t handle your current method of self-soothing.”

Eddie felt kind of guilty but got distracted when Buck sat him down on the bed then went down on his knees. Buck eagerly started to suck his cock, and Eddie realized that he had a lot to fucking learn. Because he couldn’t let Buck be this good at a blow job all by himself. That was just epically poor teamwork. He carded one hand through Buck’s hair and groaned softly as Buck urged his legs further apart.

“Dios,” Eddie murmured and shuddered. “I’m not going to last.”

Buck took him all the way in response, swallowed around the head of his cock, and Eddie came with a shocked groan. He pulled off slowly and licked his bottom lip as he sat back on his heels.

“I’ve never done that without a condom before,” Buck said.

“Come here,” Eddie said and pulled him from the floor then across his lap. He pulled him close for a kiss that Buck seemed to hesitate over just briefly.

He wrapped his hand around Buck’s cock, and rubbed his thumb over the wet head, and Buck groaned into his mouth. Eddie loved how wet Buck got when he was aroused. He stroked his partner’s cock slowly, not out of a desire to tease but because it seemed like exactly what Buck needed.

“Eds,” Buck murmured as he fucked up into Eddie’s hand. “God.”

“The next time we have a four-day break, you’re going to teach me how to suck your cock,” Eddie said, and Buck’s breath hitched. “Exactly the way you like it.”

Buck came all over his hand with a ragged groan.

A half-hour later, they’d cleaned up and had settled on the couch to brood about Chimney Han. Eddie would like to say differently, but it was the truth. They were both really irritated by the man’s behavior and his investment in their personal life when he was barely even a good co-worker at the moment, much less an actual friend.

On the TV, a pair of female elephants were trying to get a baby elephant out of a hole.

“If they don’t get him out of the hole, I’m gonna cry,” Buck said. “And talk shit about the film crew for not calling for help on Insta.”

Eddie considered turning it off, but he knew Buck was watching it in advance of Christopher being allowed to watch it as they were careful about his intake regarding nature documentaries following the death of his mother. They’d learned the hard way that it could be a minefield on the emotional health front when Christopher ugly cried for an hour over a mother penguin dying on her way back to the colony in a video on YouTube.

Fortunately, park rangers showed up to help the baby elephant out of the hole. He had to admit, he would’ve been pretty salty about that shit, too. But he avoided Instagram like the plague, so he hadn’t looked forward to getting on it to support Buck’s baby elephant justice campaign.

“Are we having too much sex?” Buck questioned.

“No.”

“Seriously.”

Eddie sighed. “Are we having sex right now?”

“Obviously not.”

“Then we aren’t having too much sex,” Eddie said firmly. “And before you go there, we aren’t using sex as a replacement for anything either.”

Buck huffed but sort of slouched more firmly against Eddie. “Right.” He took a deep breath and turned off the TV since the documentary was over. “Is it really about his inferiority complex?”

“Chim’s got a lot of issues. I talked about him in therapy, actually, because he was stressing me out while you were gone. He was really thrilled that you were gone until we heard that you were working at a different station. Bobby was doing what he was doing. Hen was waffling between them, trying to make them both feel better about their own behavior. I argued with her a few times because she was enabling the hell out of them both, and I told her so. It didn’t help that Karen came down on my side with all of it. She said I was causing problems in her marriage, and I asked her how Karen even knew we were arguing.”

“So, she had to admit she was telling Karen about it,” Buck said in amusement. “Karen doesn’t enable Hen’s dumb ass behavior, and she hasn’t since the whole cheating thing.”

Eddie grimaced. “I try not to judge her for that.”

“You’d be in very good company,” Buck muttered. “Precious few people judged her about it, and that’s just crazy because she cheated on a very good woman with her junkie ex. And I know how that sounds, but honestly, I don’t care. I’m team Karen.”

Eddie was team Karen, too, and had been before he’d ever met her. He shifted them a little and pressed a kiss to the top of Buck’s head. “I think that maybe we’re using sex to create a new layer of intimacy that we both want, and that’s perfectly reasonable for our circumstances. But, also, getting off is its own reward.”

Buck laughed.

“And we clearly can get off together with no issues at all, so why worry about it?”

“I just don’t want my history to get in our way,” Buck said quietly.

“You know what? Your history is fine,” Eddie said and held Buck close when he started to move away. “I mean it. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex and having consensual sex with people that turn you on. You were single, available, and frankly gorgeous. I know for a fact that you’ve never, ever intentionally misused another person when it comes to sex. So, cut yourself some slack, okay?”

“Okay,” Buck murmured. “Thanks.”

“I’ve got your back, remember?” Eddie questioned. “And I’m not going to make any more mistakes on that front, Evan. I promise.”

“Maybe we don’t have enough sex,” Buck said thoughtfully, and Eddie grinned.

* * * *

Eddie had sort of seen the contact coming, but he figured Buck hadn’t, and he was in a weird place about the situation. He didn’t think it was good marriage protocol to keep secrets, but he also knew how much Maddie Kendall stressed Buck out. He stared at the text as he listened to Christopher and Buck in the kitchen. He added her number to his phone for emergency purposes, then stared at the text some more, torn between frustration and anger.

Maddie: You’re going to ruin my brother’s life with your crisis. Chimney told me the two of you submitted paperwork to Bobby but he doesn’t know what it was for. If the two of you have just gotten married without listening to reason I’m going to go spare! Evan can’t live his life for you Eddie!

Eddie: Buck is a grown man who can make his own decisions. You probably don’t see that since he grew up while you were ignoring the fact that he existed. We decided to make a family together and it’s none of your business.

Maddie: I’m Evan’s family, not you. And I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me. I won’t let you control him and make decisions for him.

Eddie: If you don’t want an honest conversation stop texting me and I’m not the one that tried and failed to run Buck’s life for him. I respect him way too much to ever try to control him. You should contact him to discuss this. I’m not going to take your side on any subject now or in the future so triangulation isn’t a weapon that will work on us.

Buck’s phone started going off.

Eddie sighed.

“Hi, Aunt Maddie!” Christopher answered.

Eddie sprung up off the couch just as Buck swore under his breath. In the kitchen, his son had Buck’s phone. He shared a look with Buck, who was frowning, both hands preoccupied with pizza dough.

“Hello, Christopher. Is Buck around?”

At least his son had answered it on speaker.

“Yeah, of course, but he’s making pizza for us for dinner,” Christopher said happily. “Did he tell you we got married? It’s so cool.”

Eddie exhaled slowly.

“Did you go to the ceremony?”

“Yeah, of course. They also let me pick out the wedding bands. Papa said we were going to have a private ceremony just for us, and later, we can have a party for extended family. Then, he had to explain the difference between immediate family and extended family. I didn’t know that was a thing. I don’t think Grandma knows that she’s extended family because she’s always violating my boundaries and hurting my feelings. She keeps trying to get me to come live with her, which is weird, and it makes me uncomfortable. But she doesn’t care what I want or how I feel. That’s awful, right?”

“Yes, that’s really awful. I’m sorry she hurts your feelings,” Maddie said quietly. “Did you tell your Dad?”

“Yeah, of course, I tell Daddy everything and Papa, too. They’re my family, and they take good care of me. I heard you went back to Boston. Do you like it? Are your friends there nice? Did you want to Facetime? I could show you my new bookshelf.”

“Boston is comfortable and I do like working with my friends again. I’m at work, so I can’t FaceTime right now, but we can do it tomorrow after school so you can show me your books,” Maddie said quietly. “Watch your Papa to make sure he doesn’t put anything weird on the pizza, okay? I have to run take care of a patient, but you be good. I hope you enjoy dinner.”

“Okay, bye, Aunt Maddie,” Christopher said and ended the call. “Sorry, Papa, she didn’t give me a chance to tell her that you were listening.”

Buck shared a look with Eddie. “That’s okay, Superman. I’ll text her later.”

Eddie’s phone buzzed in his hand, and he checked it.

Maddie: I get it. I’m sorry.

Eddie stared for a moment. He hoped she did get it, but also, maybe not all of it because he didn’t want his problems out there in the world in general. However, he could acknowledge that practically everyone in his life in LA knew that his parents were genuine hell beasts.

Eddie: Make sure you keep your word about the FaceTime call tomorrow because he won’t forget. I don’t let people disappoint our kid without consequences. He’s already had enough of that.

Maddie: Yeah of course. I’m putting a reminder on my phone right now.

Eddie: Buck loves you. He needs you to take care of yourself and focus on your own healing.

There was no response. Eddie figured she’d found someplace to cry if she was actually at work. He tucked his phone into his pocket and came fully into the kitchen.

“Why is there spinach on this counter?” Eddie questioned.

“It’s going in the side salad,” Buck said with a look, and Eddie made a face. “With strawberries and a lime vinaigrette.”

“I crumbled the feta cheese,” Christopher said. “We chose the salad when we were at the grocery store since we’re having fancy pizza instead of delivery.”

“Just as long as you don’t plan on putting any of that on a pizza,” Eddie muttered.

“I do like a spinach and feta pizza,” Buck admitted. “But you two are weird.”

“We’re not the weird ones,” Christopher said firmly from the table, and Eddie just grinned at Buck.

“She sent me some texts,” Eddie said.

Buck grimaced. “Yeah?”

“It’s fine,” Eddie assured. “We can talk about it later.”

“I know Aunt Maddie has problems,” Christopher said sourly. “Her husband tried to murder her.”

Eddie took a deep breath when Buck’s eyes welled with tears. “Christopher.”

Buck cleared his throat and focused on making the pizza.

“Sorry, Papa.”

He cleared his throat. “It’s okay, Superman. It was just a really hard day. But Maddie will be okay.”

“She just has to do the work,” Christopher said. “It’s all anyone can do.”

* * * *

Buck gave Eddie his phone back. He was torn between fury and hurt. “I know I can’t make her be better than she is, but for fuck’s sake, Eddie.”

“I think you need to suggest she come back to LA,” Eddie said, and Buck stared at him in shock. “She’s just stewing in her own misery in Boston, Buck, and she’s going to get stuck. You love her, and you want better for her, and I’m prepared to help you with this. I mean, if you want to let her go entirely, I’ll support that, too.”

“I don’t want to let her go,” Buck confessed and swallowed hard. “I’ve already had that day, Eddie, and there came a point when I was convinced that she was dead. Maybe a therapy retreat?”

“We could research one here and make the offer,” Eddie said quietly. “Honest support is what she needs, but she’s not used to that. She’s been gaslit by her parents and the man she married for decades, Buck, and that kind of thing doesn’t get better without intensive help. I’d know. The first thing I learned in therapy is that I’m utterly fucked up.”

“Aren’t we all?” Buck said wryly, and Eddie laughed a little. “I mean…our parents are horrible. I don’t even want to think about them most of the time, and Maddie is still convinced that they’re good people who turned out to be bad parents. But good people love their children, and neither of my parents love me. I don’t know what I did.”

“Nothing,” Eddie snapped. “Christ, Buck, you couldn’t have possibly done anything to make your parents as fucked up as they are. You’re one of the best people I know. When you told me that you didn’t talk to your parents, I knew they must be wretched motherfuckers. I think you’d have to actually work to hold an active grudge against someone.”

Buck flushed. “Maybe. Ultimately, I wish Chimney would get help so the team could stay the way it is as long as that is a healthy work circumstance. I don’t want to stagnate in my career, you know. I’m considering the engineering track.”

“I think you’d do great with that,” Eddie said. “And Cosmo could certainly use someone on the shift to help carry that load. It’d be a good career move unless you want to go full SAR.”

“That’s even more appealing, but that means an eventual transfer to a SAR station,” Buck said. “And I know I can’t cling to Bobby.”

“Especially since he’ll hit mandatory retirement eventually,” Eddie pointed out and Buck couldn’t help the face he made. “Just being realistic, babe.”

Buck joined Eddie on the bed. “I’ll think about inviting Maddie back to LA. She ran away for reasons she hasn’t fully explained, and I honestly think it’s better if she’s nowhere near Chim.”

“She’s clearly still in contact with him, or he’s using our situation as a reason to reach out,” Eddie said. “And we need to nip that in the bud.”

Buck didn’t look forward to that conversation but knew it needed to be done. “I think I want most people to be better than they are, and I wonder if that’s unfair.”

“It’s unrealistic,” Eddie said, and Buck frowned. “Sorry. The world is always going to disappoint you.”

“Yeah,” Buck murmured. “How long are you going to ignore your mother?”

“My unrealistic expectation would be forever,” Eddie admitted, and Buck hummed his agreement. “She’s called forty-six times today and texted over a hundred. Of course, she keeps texting the same thing which is a demand that I answer my phone. I won’t let her vent at me, Buck. She’s not going to get what she wants from me, and that’s Christopher.”

“Speaking of, I asked my lawyer to start the partner adoption process. She’s looking for an agency to do the home study as soon as possible,” Buck said. “I’ve put the loft into the hands of the realtor. She’s going to stage it, and I’ll clear out the rest of my personal stuff on my next day off.”

“That’s fast.”

“I don’t want the social worker to think that I hesitated about merging our households,” Buck said. “I mean, Natalie said the adoption process will be very easy since there’s no one that can legally protest it.” He winced. “I mean….”

“No, it is what it is,” Eddie murmured. “Shannon’s not here to say no.” He turned off the lamp. The darkness of the bedroom he now shared with Buck seemed more comfortable than ever. “I couldn’t have ever trusted her with his heart again. Not after what she did, and I tried so hard to get over it. Except, I recently realized that she never fucking apologized to either one of us in a real way.” He rubbed his face briskly. “There’s no closure to be had for that.”

Eddie glanced toward his phone and sighed as the screen lit up again.

“Just answer it,” Buck said.

Eddie grimaced but grabbed it from the nightstand. He opened up the recording program, hit start, and answered. “Hello. I’m recording I’m this phone call. If you don’t want to be recorded, please hang up.”

“Why do you tell me that every single damn time I call?” His mother demanded. “I told you I don’t care!”

Buck wasn’t sure if he was happy or not that Eddie had decided to put the call on speaker.

“California is a two-party state,” Eddie said easily. “I have to inform you that I’m recording you in order for the content of the conversation to be considered legally valid evidence against you.”

Helena made a shocked noise but then growled. “Did you change your Facebook status to mess with me?”

“Yes,” Eddie said, and Buck swallowed a laugh. “Of course, it’s also true. But I only ever post on Facebook to ruin your day or make you miserable because I literally have nothing else to do with my entire day, and every single thing I do is about you.”

“There’s no need to be sarcastic, Eddie!” Helena snapped. “I can’t believe you got married to another man. What’s wrong with you? Why are you determined to go to hell and take us all with you?”

“Last time I checked, you can’t be held responsible for the sins of another,” Eddie said. “So, when you’re in hell, you’ll only have yourself to blame for it. Did you want me to make you a list of things that you need to work on in confession? Pop seems to have his bases covered on that front. He told me he was going to confession at least once a month.”

Helena made a disgusted noise. “Your father has a drink with Father Castillo once a month and tells him all of our business! That’s not confession!”

“He seems pretty comfortable with his religious journey,” Eddie said mildly. “Now, did you want to discuss your sins? I’ve got about thirty minutes before I have to go to sleep. We could start with the affair you had with the man next door when I was in high school. Lust is a sin, after all.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Sure, okay. I only walked in on you giving Mr. Thompson a hand job,” Eddie muttered. “I nearly joined the priesthood due to the trauma. Father Castillo said I couldn’t use service to the church to hide in shame due to my mother’s sinful behavior.” He paused. “I count myself lucky it wasn’t a blow job. I’d have never gotten over that shit.”

Buck was sure he was never getting over any part of the conversation Eddie was having. He exhaled slowly and rolled over on his back to stare at the ceiling.

“I didn’t call you to talk about my past. Your father and I dealt with my mistake, and I even went on a mission with the church to atone!” Helena said hotly. “You’re the one that’s sleeping with a man, Edmundo! It’s a sin against God. Your father is practically mute with grief.”

Ramon Diaz was probably mute out of self-defense, Buck thought sourly.

“Well, I’m not Catholic anymore, so I don’t care what the Catholic Church thinks about my relationship,” Eddie pointed out. “And I don’t care what you think either, for the record.”

“You are so disrespectful. I don’t know how I raised such a disgusting human being.”

“Well,” Eddie said slowly, and Buck visualized a surface-to-air missile hitting Helena Diaz’s house. “It could be because you’re a raging narcissist and didn’t bother to raise your children at all. I have more memories of housekeepers and the nanny that Pop was banging than I do you.” He paused. “I actually used to wish that Pop would divorce you and marry Valeria. But you know that. It’s why you reported her to immigration and tried to get her deported despite the fact that she was born and raised in Texas.”

“You need to send Christopher to El Paso to live with us!”

“I’d rather not go to jail for child neglect,” Eddie said. “Because letting my disabled child live with two elderly, barely functional addicts isn’t good parenting—even in Texas.”

“We can take care of him just fine.”

“Your house has three floors, your driveway is steep, and you don’t have a ramp or any other accessibility options. You can’t lift and carry forty pounds much less the seventy-five that would currently be required in order to take care of Christopher when he’s tired or having issues with mobility. You are practically drowning in bias regarding his condition and seem to think even the bare minimum of medical care is unnecessary. During your last visit, you tried to prevent his home health nurse from taking him to physical therapy because you said it was unnecessary.”

“It is unnecessary! He’ll be in a wheelchair in a few years, Eddie. There’s no need to torture him with unnecessary procedures and exercises.”

That was the dumbest thing Buck had ever heard.

“What you’re suggesting is actually considered medical neglect,” Eddie said. “And I’ve told you that before, but you live in this delusional world where you apparently know better than people with actual degrees in medicine. Listen, Mom, I’m never going to give you custody of my son, and if Dad ever agrees to fund a lawsuit—it’ll destroy you both.”

“You don’t have the money to fight us,” his mother said smugly.

“I married a trust fund baby,” Eddie retorted, and Buck nudged him in amusement. “And he’s got enough money to burn your life to the ground twice over. Moreover, Mom, and let’s be serious for a second here—he can’t stand you. It won’t hurt Buck’s feelings at all to ruin your life.”

Buck already had a three-step plan.

“I’ve never done anything to him,” Helena protested.

Buck grabbed the phone off Eddie’s chest. “Hey, Helena. Listen carefully—every single time you ignore Christopher’s wishes and hurt him with your ableism, you’ve done something to me. Every single time you verbally and emotionally abuse Eddie, you’ve done something to me. You are a deeply toxic person, and if you don’t stop all of your bullshit immediately, I will start to respond in kind in a brutal legal fashion that you will be defenseless against. And I’ve got a lawyer on retainer whose life goal is to evolve into a T-Rex to help me do it.”

Eddie laughed.

“In the end, you need to accept you have no power in this situation, and if you want any access at all to our child, then you will behave. We’ll send you an updated list of rules regarding future interactions within the next week or so. Now, Eddie and I have work in just nine hours, so this conversation is over.” He hung up on her and passed the phone back to Eddie.

Eddie plugged his phone into charge and put it face down on the nightstand on his side of the bed. “You’re right.”

“About what?” Buck questioned.

“She is emotionally abusive, and I avoid acknowledging that often. It’s not good and it enables her. In some ways, I’m just as bad as my sisters on that front. Either one of them will do anything to avoid earning our mother’s anger. I think they’re pretty relieved by my continuous rebellion as it keeps them out of the line of fire.”

“Well, I was raised by a narcissist myself,” Buck said. “At least yours pretends to love you.” He paused. “Sorry.”

“I’ve always known that my mother’s affection is transactional.”

He moved closer so Buck turned toward him and wrapped an arm around Eddie’s body as they settled down to sleep.

* * * *

Chimney was oddly quiet through most of their next shift. They went from one call to another, working quickly and efficiently through one stupid situation after another. Eddie watched the situation carefully because he didn’t trust Chimney with Buck’s back, and his partner trusted way too easily despite his history on the job. It was basically the exact opposite of their first shift back after the well and oddly just as stressful for Eddie.

He knew the danger of rug sweeping intimately since he’d grown up doing it from practically the cradle. It was probably the first thing his father had taught him to do by example. Ramon Diaz was a fucking pro at ignoring and dismissing his wife’s outrageous behavior since he’d been doing it for decades. He’d taught all three of his children to do it and to keep Helena’s boat as steady as possible just to get a little peace.

After dinner, which they were able to eat without interruption, Bobby cleared the loft out for a meeting with him, Buck, Chimney, and Hen. Eddie appreciated the fact that Chim needed some kind of support during the conversation that was about to happen. But Hen’s history of enabling the shit out of Chim’s toxic behavior was a problem.

“Eddie and I were thinking that we should transfer,” Buck blurted out, and Bobby’s eyes went wide with shock. “Chim has a problem with me, and the two of us don’t want to work apart.”

“Of course, you can’t work apart,” Chimney muttered and rolled his eyes.

“It’s for Christopher,” Eddie snapped. “He trusts us to take care of each other, Chim. He needs that security after his mother’s death. I pretty much live my whole damn life around my kid, and I have since he was born. Fatherhood is a different kind of love—it changed me, and it made me a better man. I want the very best for him. So, I need you to respect it, even if you don’t get it.”

Chim stared for a moment. “Maddie thinks the two of you got married for the kid.”

“And?” Buck questioned.

“Is it true?” Chimney demanded.

“It’s none of your business why we got married, Chim,” Buck said simply. “Did you ask Bobby why he married Athena? Or why Hen married Karen? Why is it so important to you to know the intimate details of the relationship I have with Eddie? You don’t do this with anyone else that I’m aware of. So, I just don’t get it.”

“You…just fuck around,” Chim said and waved both hands in frustration. “You’ve gone from one woman to the next since I met you, and there is no telling how many casual encounters you’ve had.”

Buck stared. “And?”

“Why? Why does anyone ever take a risk on you?” Chim questioned.

The confusion on his face was so clear that it was extremely insulting.

“He’s honest,” Eddie said. “Careful, genuinely heroic, and good.”

Chim rolled his eyes.

“Have you ever known him to lie? Cheat? Tell a cruel joke? Disparage anyone on or off the job? Have you ever asked him for a favor and been told no? When you had a flat tire a year ago, an hour outside of LA, who showed up with a fucking spare tire at two in the morning?” Eddie questioned, and Chim flushed. “Who didn’t hesitate to get up and go help you, Chim? He was the only person you called because you knew he’d help you. What has Buck ever done to deserve the way you talk about him?”

Chim looked away from them, his jaw tight. It looked like a mixture of frustration and fury.

“You know, when all of those White guys were treating you like shit on the job here in LA, I was in Hershey trying to get through high school,” Buck said flatly. “My singular focus was getting out of my parents’ house as quickly as I could. I even considered quitting school and getting my GED just so I could leave, but Maddie convinced me to wait until I graduated.”

“I don’t fucking need to be reminded that you were a kid when I started my career with the LAFD,” Chimney snapped. “And I don’t compare you to those guys. You aren’t a racist, sexist piece of shit.” He glared. “You know what you are, Buck? Privileged. You whine about living in your parent’s house like you didn’t grow up with rich parents. Everything you have just gets handed to you. Have you ever worked for anything?”

Buck stared for a moment, confused. “You think I grew up with rich parents? Chim, my mom is a school teacher, and my dad is an accountant in a very small firm where he isn’t even a partner because he has no damn ambition at all. We lived in a three bedroom house that I think they finally paid off a few years ago. Now, my mother grew up rich, but she got disowned by her parents because they hated my father.

“I’m convinced, even now, that they didn’t really work all that hard because he figured she’d inherit her parents’ money eventually. Except she didn’t, and now they’ll have to work well past retirement age because they barely have a 401k at all. The last time I talked to my parents, they tried to get me to put money in their retirement fund annually because I owed them, apparently, for half-assed raising me.

“I left home at seventeen and worked one manual labor job after another until I came to LA. So, I was born White. That’s my privilege, and I acknowledge that but the rest? When have I ever said that I grew up rich?”

“You know I don’t believe you, right?” Chim questioned. “So, now I can say for certain that you’ve lied to me.”

“I don’t care if you believe me,” Buck said. “Ask Maddie if you’re going to get wrapped around the axle about the money my parents may or may not have. It isn’t like they spent that money on me or Maddie. She’d love to know about it, actually, and maybe she can ask them why she had to work two jobs to pay her way through college.”

“You’re the reason that she left LA and barely speaks to me,” Chim muttered. “I nearly died because of her.”

“You nearly died because you were trying to fuck a married woman, and her crazy husband found out,” Eddie retorted, and they all focused on him. Even Bobby looked shocked. “What? It’s the truth. I’m not saying it’s his fault, but it certainly isn’t Maddie Kendall’s, either. We all knew she was married, right? And that she was basically hiding from her husband. You helped install the security system on her apartment, Chim.

“Doug Kendall befriended you, stalked his wife, and nearly murdered you both because he was an abusive bastard. But you were in that situation because you were trying to get your dick wet. You lasered in on her like a hunter, actually. She was a clearly vulnerable woman, who trusted you because her brother trusted you, that you preyed on.”

Chim stared at him in shock, but Eddie didn’t give a fuck. “What the hell, Eddie?”

“I’d have been furious with you in Buck’s place,” Eddie continued. “Because even now, you’re focused on what his sister owes you—which is what exactly? Time? A date? A pity relationship? Or just some ass?”

“Wow,” Hen muttered and sat back in her seat.

“She just cut me off because I was being honest about Buck’s bullshit.”

“No,” Hen said firmly, and they all focused on her. “You weren’t being honest, Chim. We’ve talked about this. You were deflecting attention off your mistakes and victim blaming. Buck’s never done a damn thing to you. This isn’t even about him. It’s about Kevin Lee.” Chim glared at her. “Don’t fuck with me, Chim. You’re making us all miserable, and we both know that if Bobby tells anyone at the table to take a transfer—it’s going to be you. Buck has a skillset that is hard to come by and he’s continued to get certs while you are just coasting through your career at this point.”

Eddie didn’t know who Kevin Lee was, but Buck clearly did.

“Buck is nothing like Kevin,” Chim ground out between his clenched teeth.

“Yeah, and that’s the problem,” Hen said warily. “But Buck is young, talented, quick to smile and laugh, and living the life you think Kevin should be here living. He’s the LAFD’s poster boy, right? Wasn’t Kevin on that road? A young, good-looking, and brave firefighter who got a great placement in the LAFD, and he’d been invited to be on a recruitment poster. He died on the job before he even got to say yes or no. The same PR program that Buck was asked to appear in a mere month after he transferred into the 118.”

“I turned that down,” Buck protested.

“It doesn’t matter, Buck,” Eddie said quietly. “The department still managed to use you repeatedly for press stuff. They still do.”

Buck exhaled slowly. “You need psychological help, Chim.” He stood and took a deep breath. “How can I trust you on the job when you apparently resent me for being alive when your foster brother is dead?” He ran a shaking hand over his head. “I need to get some sleep.”

Eddie stayed where he was as his partner walked away, then focused on Bobby, who looked gutted. “We can make this decision easy for everyone, Bobby.”

“No, you can’t,” Bobby said. “If the two of you leave because of Chim’s inappropriate behavior, the complaints from the rest of the shift will pile hip deep.” He stood. “I thought I could get a handle on this and fix it. But it’s clear that this is completely beyond my ability to manage. Chim, clear out your locker. You’re done at the 118.”

“What?” Chimney demanded. “Are you fucking serious?”

“You are actively resenting one of your coworkers for being alive,” Bobby said flatly. “You didn’t even try to deny it, Chim. Buck can’t trust you on this job, and frankly, I can’t trust you, either. So, I’m going to arrange for you to be transferred to a different house with no negatives attached as long as you agree to mandatory therapy arranged by HR. If you fight it, I can’t guarantee you’ll come out clean, considering your behavior.” He inclined his head. “Let’s go. I’ll stick with you until you’re packed and out.”

“Fine,” Chim said through clenched teeth.

Hen let her head drop to the table as Bobby and Chim left the loft and took a deep breath.

“How long have you known?”

“I’ve been working on him for months—trying to get to the root of it,” Hen said and lifted her head. “Last night, he was drinking, and he admitted that he wished that Buck had gone down into the well and died. All of it sort of fell into place for me after that, and I told Bobby that we needed to have a group conversation. I thought…I hoped that it would knock something loose in Chim, and he’d at least feel guilty. I hoped that he’d admit he needed help and that his resentment was misplaced.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “How did Kevin Lee die?”

“On the job with the 133,” Hen said. “He saved a woman’s life but ended up sacrificing his own. Chim witnessed it. He never got any sort of therapy for it, and it’s festered inside of him ever since.”

Eddie stood up. “Get some sleep, Hen. You’ll need it if we get a call.” He grabbed bottles of water for himself, and Buck then went down the stairs.

Buck was in the bunk room in the very back. Eddie was relieved a bed had been left open beside his partner. He passed Buck a bottle of water, slid off his boots, and got settled on the bunk. To avoid waking anyone up, he pulled out his phone and silenced it. Then texted Buck.

Eddie: Okay?

Buck shook his head.

Buck: I always figured it was about the bullies or about the fact that he can’t get laid like I can. This feels so much more personal and that’s weird because it’s still about someone else.

Eddie: It is about you in a way. A terrible way. Bobby is transferring him out of the 118. Chim is clearing out his locker and Bobby escorting him out of the station.

Buck: FFS. I’m going to pay for that.

Eddie shook his head, and Buck sighed. He tucked his phone onto a shelf next to his water in the bunk and settled down on the mattress and he was relieved when Buck followed suit after drinking half of his own water.

* * * *

Buck didn’t know if Chim’s removal from the 118 would go entirely well, but almost everyone looked relieved when Bobby announced that he was gone and would be transferred. No one looked at him, but he felt guilty anyway. Maybe the transfer would be good for Chim and his career, but Buck couldn’t focus on that.

Eddie drove them home, and Buck had gone through their work bags for dirty laundry, but Eddie had taken that task over. Disgruntled but acknowledging that he hated laundry, Buck had retreated to the kitchen where he was king and did some meal prep for Christopher’s lunches and started a grocery list. They didn’t need much, but he liked to make a list as he went rather than on the day of grocery shopping.

Eddie came into the kitchen with his phone in hand. “Abuela wants to know if she can throw us the party on Saturday.”

“Should be good. We’re off the whole weekend and Christopher rarely has a lot of homework on Fridays,” Buck said as he added things to his list on his phone. “It’ll be nice. Let’s just make it family, though—no friends. Bobby and Athena will probably want to have a party as well, so we can have friends at that one.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Eddie took a deep breath. “You ready to talk? Because I don’t want to, but I know we need to.”

Buck took a deep breath. “I think my parents resent me for being alive, and I can’t explain it better than that. My mother did say, once, that having me was a waste of her time.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie muttered. “Let’s go brood on the couch.”

Buck nodded and stood up from the table. Shortly, they were in a pile on the couch, and he’d put his phone on the coffee table with Eddie’s.

“So, I’m not exactly a stranger to having someone in my life who wishes I was dead, but having it come from a coworker’s direction is really upsetting. I put my life in Chim’s hands multiple times over the years, including the night the ladder truck was bombed. Would he have let me die if he’d been alone with me in the back of the ambulance?”

Eddie’s hand tightened briefly on Buck’s shoulder. “I get it. When I was in the Army, our unit was tight, and any doubt on anyone’s part could’ve meant death for all of us. I trusted them with my life, and I sought that kind of work relationship when I was figuring out my next career. Joining the LAFD was a natural choice considering my work in the Army, but sometimes I wonder if I let my military experience influence how much I could trust the team at the 118.”

“I want to believe that Chim’s resentment of me would’ve taken a back seat to his job,” Buck murmured. “I do think he has a genuine calling, and that should make a difference. His grief over the loss of his foster brother is treacherous for me, and that’s unreal.”

“Grief is irrational,” Eddie said, and Buck nodded. “It’s often cruel as well because it changes your relationships with everyone around you whether you want it to or not. It’ll even cause you to make stupid decisions and create unreasonable resentment for situations and people. I went through a lot of emotions when Shannon was killed—some of it was just really fucking ugly. I’m glad I didn’t say half the shit I was thinking at the time.”

“Yeah,” Buck murmured. “I’m sorry I was so distracted through all of that.”

“You were dealing with a lot yourself,” Eddie said. “It was like our trauma collided, and we didn’t handle it well. It’s something we need to keep in mind as we go forward. I think our communication skills are better now than they were before. Therapy helped us both on that front, and we just need to keep going in that direction.” He waved a hand out in front of them.

“I think….” He focused on Eddie’s face. “We can fall in love, right? With each other?”

“Yeah, I think we’re getting there because we opened up to the idea,” Eddie murmured and cupped the back of Buck’s head. “Love grows and changes—I’m already so grateful for what we have right now. Whatever we build together in the future is going to be amazing.”

Buck nodded slowly. “We should probably go to bed and have some comfort sex.”

“I’m very willing to comfort you while naked,” Eddie admitted and grinned when Buck laughed.

Eddie stood and pulled Buck off the couch. Buck grabbed their phones as he was tugged toward the bedroom, only to discard them on a nightstand. They stripped off all of their clothes quickly. Eddie pulled Buck to the bed and slipped astride the man’s hips. He braced himself on Buck’s chest and stared at him.

Buck raised an eyebrow. “You looking to take it, Eds?”

“Maybe I am,” Eddie said, and Buck’s cheeks flushed. “That cool with you?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d be open to it,” Buck confessed. “And it wouldn’t be a problem if it was off the table.” He reached over and pulled the lube out of the nightstand. “But you can have my dick anytime you want it. Do you want to handle your own prep, or can I do it?”

“Oh, you can do it,” Eddie assured. “And I expect you to be thorough.”

Buck shifted under him, hips flexing upward a little. “You should get on your knees then.”

“Should I?” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, you really should.”

Eddie slipped off of him, assumed the position, and groaned a little as Buck trailed his hands down his back and over his ass. Slick fingers pressed against his hole almost immediately, and Eddie lowered his head as one slick finger slid right in. He knew Buck would be careful, but the gentleness was agonizingly perfect.

He couldn’t help but rock into the penetration. It had been a while since he’d used the dildo he had tucked away in the closet, and he hadn’t discussed any of that with Buck. Eddie wasn’t sure how to start the conversation and was relieved that Buck just knew him well enough to get right to it without a bunch of questions.

“Good?” Buck questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I can handle more.”

“I got you,” Buck promised confidently, and Eddie closed his eyes as he relaxed into it because Buck was at his best when he had that tone.

One finger sliding in and out of his ass became two, and arousal built by degrees until he was so turned on that he could’ve come just from being fingered. Eddie wrapped a hand around his cock and held it tightly until the urge to come receded. Buck added a third finger, and Eddie had to release his dick to brace himself with both hands.

“Fuck.”

“Hurting?” Buck questioned and paused.

“No,” Eddie said hoarsely and pressed back against Buck’s hand. “Come on.”

Buck pressed in deep, fingers grazing Eddie’s prostate with each thrust, and it was so damn good that it was mildly overwhelming. “Do you want it on your back or like this?” He paused. “Or you could take a ride.”

He’d never in his life been more spoiled for choice. In the end, he rolled over onto his back and held out a hand for Buck. “Come here.”

Buck covered him, pressed between his thighs, and slid right into his ass. It was, honestly, so good that Eddie could barely make a single noise. He felt safe in Buck’s hands, and maybe that was the difference. Eddie braced his feet on the mattress as he spread his legs wide and rolled his hips up into every single thrust. It was intense, and Buck’s mouth on his only ramped it up.

The kiss was deep, intimate, and so carnal that it got hard to think. Buck slid a hand between them and wrapped it around Eddie’s cock. It was so simple. Buck wasn’t even jerking him off but just holding him in a firm grip. It made him feel cared for, and just like that, he started to come hard.

“Fuck,” Buck murmured against Eddie’s jaw and shuddered against him, hips smacking against his body just twice before he stilled.

“You can’t fuck anyone but me,” Eddie said firmly, and Buck laughed a little against his mouth as he brushed a kiss over his lips. “I mean it.”

“I promise I won’t fuck anyone else but you from now on,” Buck said and carefully pulled free of his body. “Anything hurt?”

“No, I’m great,” Eddie said. “I won’t fuck anyone else, either.”

Buck grinned and rolled over onto his back. “It’s like we just got married again with far more reasonable vows.”

Eddie laughed. “Shut up.”

He grabbed Buck’s hand and laced their fingers together. Eddie got a gentle squeeze in response.

* * * *

The thing about the Diaz family in LA was that they all seemed to adore Eddie for himself and not just because of Christopher. Buck had noted that pretty early on that some people had affection for Eddie because of his son or because of how he was with his son. He could admit that the man wore fatherhood very well, and his devotion to his child was compelling, but Eddie was more than that.

So, Buck was always more than happy to go to a Diaz party because it was full of people who loved his two favorite people on Earth and rarely had a moment of stress as long as Eddie’s parents stayed their asses in El Paso. Isabel had assured them both that Ramon and Helena were not going to show up for their reception. How it had gone from a party to a reception was elusive to them both, but they weren’t really all that upset about it. There were three different cakes in the house, and that was epic.

Eddie’s cousin Luis sat down at the table with Buck with two pieces of cake. He sat one down in front of Buck.

Buck stared. “Dude, where did you get lemon cake?”

“In the fridge,” Luis said and proffered a fork which Buck took. “Knew you hadn’t seen it.”

“The last time I checked, there were three cakes.”

“This one has a cream cheese frosting, so Abuela put it in the fridge,” Luis said and stabbed his own cake. “You got room, right?”

“I always have room for lemon cake,” Buck retorted and focused on his own piece. “Anything new?”

“Nah,” Luis shook his head. “Just work.”

“That last date go badly then?”

Luis made a face. “It was fine, but she was more interested in talking about her ex-boyfriend, who cheated on her.”

Buck winced. “Not great first date material, so she wasn’t really in the headspace to date again.”

“I said the same thing, and she was confused since she’s been single for three years.”

“Oh.” Buck cleared his throat. “I…I got nothing, dude. I hope the sex was good.”

“How did….” Luis huffed.

“Because a woman that far out of a relationship who’s still talking about their ex is only dating to get laid,” Buck said and shrugged. “She probably feels uncomfortable with Tinder. Did you get introduced by one of her friends?” Luis made a face at him, and Buck laughed. “Okay, so tell the person that introduced you that you aren’t really interested in hookups going forward, and they’ll take you off the fuck buddy list.” He glanced around, realizing he should’ve checked for kids before finishing that last sentence.

Fortunately, all the kids were on the opposite side of the yard, playing on the gazebo. Christopher was at the table with a handful of cards. He had no idea what game they were playing, but they had a notepad.

“Burro,” Luis supplied. “They’re real cutthroat, so I don’t recommend getting in on the next round.”

“I taught Christopher to play gin rummy,” Buck said. “After that I decided to never teach him poker because that kid might as well be the sphinx when he’s playing cards. He doesn’t have a single tell.”

“That’s Abuela’s fault,” Luis said in amusement. “She made sure none of us have tells. She also taught us all to play burro and poker when we were little. So, I imagine Christopher already knows. He’s just waiting for you to offer it, then he’ll clean you out. Don’t bet real money.”

Eddie sat down in front of them with a piece of chocolate cake. “We’re going to spend six hours in the gym tomorrow.”

Buck shrugged. “Worth it.”

Luis nodded. “Gonna take our name, Buck?”

Buck considered that and shrugged. “Might as well.” He grinned when Eddie stared at him, startled. “I already promised to not have sex with other people.”

Luis chewed slowly and made a face. “Maybe I do want to stay on the fuck buddy list.”

“What?” Eddie questioned as Buck started laughing.

“Variety is the spice of life, Primo,” Luis said. “Did you promise, too?”

“We got married, Luis,” Eddie retorted.

“I’ve been invited home by marrieds often enough to know that doesn’t matter at all,” Luis said, and Buck nodded his agreement.

Eddie glared at them both.

“Is he about to slut shame me?” Luis questioned. “Because I don’t have time for that shit.”

“Nah, he’s just a prude. But I’m about to lecture you about emotional intimacy and finding a life partner,” Buck said. Luis shot up from the picnic table, grabbed his cake, and ran away. “Coward!”

“Don’t trash talk me, Gringo!”

“Hey!” Five different people shouted at Luis, and he laughed as he trotted onto the gazebo and sat down with the kids.

Buck shook his head as Eddie stole a bite of his cake. He returned the favor because he hadn’t had any of the chocolate cake. It was good. “Having fun?”

“Yeah,” Eddie admitted. “Three different cousins have congratulated me on finally locking you down. I had no idea I was struggling with that.”

Buck laughed. “It’d be weird if you had struggled because I’ve never played hard to get.”

“Also, I’m not a prude,” Eddie muttered.

“You are,” Buck said. “But I don’t mind. It makes getting you dirty kind of exciting.”

Eddie pointed his fork at him. “Don’t talk to me like that at my Abuela’s house.”

Buck grinned and shrugged. Pepa joined them at that point, so Buck stuck his tongue out at Eddie when he got a stern look the man normally reserved for Christopher.

“Helena called me,” Pepa said quietly with a glance toward Christopher, who was in the process of stealing Luis’ cake. “I don’t know what she thought she could accomplish with me. Perhaps she thought I was secretly homophobic or something.” She rolled her eyes. “She asked me to convince you to bring Christopher to her, and I told her that I’d never do that and would even fight her for custody if there ever came a situation where it was required.”

“Mom normally assumes everyone really agrees with her,” Eddie said. “Even when they tell her they don’t. She thinks my father forgave her for the affair she had, despite the fact that he immediately started banging the nanny out of revenge.”

Pepa huffed. “Don’t talk about my brother banging anyone, Edmundo.”

Eddie laughed. “What else did she say?”

“Oh, she cried and carried on like her life was over,” Pepa said and rolled her eyes. “And went on and on about how Christopher needed to be around his family and didn’t like it when I pointed out that he has three times as much family here in LA than he does in El Paso. At any rate, I eventually got bored with her drama and hung up on her. I hope you aren’t really worried about her.”

“I can’t say I’m not worried,” Eddie admitted. “For a variety of reasons, Tía. She’s mentally ill, drinks like a fish, and is obsessed with my son. I can’t help but worry about her potential to be an immense problem for us. If she got Pop to sue me—the financial hit would be significant, but the worst part would be the potential emotional damage. It would stress Christopher out to be exposed to a trial process.”

“Plus, there would be psychological evaluations, social service assessments, and the court could even put Christopher in foster care if there were allegations questioning our fitness as parents,” Buck said. “Helena already has a history of parental alienation, and I don’t doubt she’d invest herself in making Christopher believe that he would be better off with her and Ramon by disparaging us both to a detrimental and abusive degree.

“Their behavior could create profound psychological issues for all three of us,” Buck said and winced when he noticed Pepa glaring at him. “What?”

“You’re making me want to take a road trip to El Paso,” she muttered and stabbed her cake. “There isn’t enough cake at this party.”

“There are four cakes,” Eddie said.

“Five,” Pepa said with a laugh. “There’s an ice cream cake in the freezer.”

Eddie huffed and stood. “Are you serious?”

Buck watched Eddie trot toward the house and eyed what was left of the chocolate cake his husband had left behind.

“He left it behind,” Pepa said and shrugged.

“You’re right,” Buck said and pulled the plate across the table and put it on top of his empty one. “What’s his is mine anyways.”

* * * *

“You’d really take my name?” Eddie questioned.

Buck looked up from his phone. He’d wondered when Eddie would question that particular thing and set the device on the nightstand. They really had no other place in the house to have private conversations, so the bedroom had become ground zero for serious discussions.

“Yeah, of course. First, it’ll drive your mother fucking nuts, which is always worth doing.” Eddie laughed. “And it’ll give me the last name as Christopher which is important. It solidifies the commitment I’ve made, and I think he’d like it if we all had the last name. He hasn’t mentioned it. I don’t have a middle name, so I’ll just legally become Evan Buckley Diaz unless you’re opposed.”

“No, I mean…all of that sounds great,” Eddie said and sat down on the bed. “My mother will go spare, but my father will probably be secretly pleased since he likes you so much. I don’t think anyone in the family in LA will have a problem with it, and if they do, Abuela will curse them out.”

“Can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“Everyone in the family here in LA just seems to love the fuck out of you,” Buck started, and Eddie laughed. “Seriously, and I get it because you’re great, but it seems like more than that.”

“Well, technically, I’m Edmundo Alejandro Diaz, Jr.” Eddie stretched out on the bed. “My father did it to honor his own father, and my mother is still salty about it because she didn’t want me to have a Latino name. It’s why my sisters have English versions of the names that my father wanted. It’s the one issue they fought over a lot, and I think that’s why I was the last child.”

“So, you’re the namesake of the patriarch of the family,” Buck said.

“And his favorite grandchild,” Eddie admitted. “That favoritism kind of bled out all over everyone. I even, honestly, look more like him than I do my own father. My mother hates that since she hated him. My grandfather pretty much ran the family while he was alive, and my father’s single act of rebellion was marrying my mother.”

“Why did he disapprove?”

“Because my mother was a disrespectful asshole. But she likes to say it’s because she’s White. But hell, Buck, she wasn’t the first or the last White person to marry into our family before my grandfather died, and he never had a problem with those marriages. So, they hated each other, and her last baby came out looking just like him.”

“She tried to keep you away from him, right?”

“Yeah, but my father was so proud of his baby boy that he basically took a knee as he presented a grandson to my grandfather, and I was his namesake. So, yeah, I’m the family favorite and a reminder of the man they all lost way too soon. I try not to ever use it to be an asshole. In fact, the only time I ever used it was when I moved to LA.

“I told Abuela I wanted to come here, and three days later, Luis showed up with a moving truck and four other cousins. They had my house packed and empty in a day. I put it up for sale and left El Paso just like that. It happened so fast that my mother didn’t realize it until Luis was letting Christopher boss him around about his bedroom furniture in this house a week later.”

“This is a family house, right?”

“I rent it from my paternal Granduncle Javier,” Eddie said. “He gives me a great deal, and I’ve tried more than once to pay him more, but he won’t take it. We argue over it every single time we sign a new lease. But he did admit recently that he’d have to increase the rent, as I’d already said. He suggested I buy this house. But it’s not big enough for our future plans.”

“It’s hard to argue with someone who loves you,” Buck pointed out. “Is this his only rental property?”

“No, he has several more houses, and they’re all occupied by family,” Eddie said. “I’m pretty sure someone moved out of this house so I could have it, but I couldn’t get anyone to admit it.” He sighed. “But I also couldn’t say no because I needed out of El Paso, and I could barely walk at the time.”

“Well, let’s buy a house so this one can go to someone else in the family who might need it more than us,” Buck said, and Eddie nodded. “Are we missing something?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie questioned.

“It’s like everyone assumed we should be together or that we were together and hiding it. Or that we were being stupidly stubborn and oblivious. Everyone around us was shipping it and we weren’t even looking at it, is what I’m saying.”

Eddie laughed. “Maybe we haven’t been putting the label anyone wanted on our relationship all this time, but that’s not really our problem. We’re the best of friends and life partners. That’s probably been our reality for a while. Now, we’re more, and it’s just really good. It feels right to me.”

“It feels right to me as well,” Buck said. “And yeah, it’s all really good. Christopher is happy. Work should get better fast with Chimney transferred out. Your father isn’t prepared to ruin his relationship with you by funding Helena’s obsession currently.” He paused. “And the sex is fantastic.”

Eddie shifted closer, pulled him in, and pressed a kiss against his mouth. Then he trailed his fingers down Buck’s face. “You know…our love is just for us, and I’m beginning to think that maybe we love each other exactly the way we should.”

“Yeah?” Buck questioned.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and cupped Buck’s head. “I mean it. Everything about the life we’re building feels absolutely perfect. One day, I’m going to tell our grandchildren that I crawled out of that pond and just stumbled right into a relationship with the love of my life and that it was one of the most amazing moments I’ve ever known when you said yes.”

Buck blinked, but tears spilled down his cheeks.

Eddie brushed a tear from his face. “It’s a good thing for you that I know you cry when you’re happy.”

Buck laughed and buried his face against Eddie’s throat as they settled together on the bed. “Everything works just the way it should when I’m with you. Is that the right kind of love?”

“It’s the very best kind of love,” Eddie murmured and pressed a kiss against his forehead.

The End